So I haven't written fic in some time, but the combination of Tough Love and exam revision got my creative juices flowing.
So here's my little offering.
Title: Love her Anyway
Author: Hannah
Rating: Like, a U or something
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything, and I mean everything. Just borrowing them for a while, I promise not to put my coffee cup on them or fold back the pages.
Notes: Kind of a stream of concsiousness, Willow-centric thing.
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It used to be so easy to explain what I love about her. I had this long list of things that I could recite whenever asked what it was that made me so glad she was in my life. The way she would laugh when I told a joke that had sounded funny in my head. The smile she gave me when I did something really nerdy that just showed how she loved me even if I was a little on the obsessive side about some things. The jokes she would tell and not realise until after no one laughed, that only I got it. The fact that she always knew exactly what to say when I needed reassurance, which was quite often sometimes. The way sometimes she could do that just by looking in my eyes. How it felt like she was staring right into my soul and warming me from the inside out. How she would hold my hand when we were together and trace patterns on my skin with her thumb. The way she said my name and it would sound like music. The times when her laughter would get the better of her and she’d snort. The fact she would always sneeze three times but attempt to stop the third one so that she didn’t become too predictable. Sometimes, if I came home early, I would catch her bouncing around the room and singing along to really cheesy 80s songs. But I suppose most of all, I used to say that I loved how she would whisper ‘I love you’ into my ear at the most inopportune moments. Like we’d be sitting in class, or at the magic shop, and she’d just lean over and whisper it. Without fail I’d lose all train of thought and start to turn red. At least that was the reason I’d tell people. If I’m being honest, it’s the look she’d give me just before we kiss. Full of love and passion and need and desire. That look told me that this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
That hasn’t changed, just everything else. But all these changes have shown me something I’ve never realised before. That what I love about Tara goes so much deeper than jokes and smiles, it’s an essence, a, well a spirit, a nature that I love. No matter what changes there’s this thing within her that I love. The basic core of her being draws me and I never want to lose that. When I’m near her I feel something that I never feel anywhere else in life, I feel complete and perfect. And even if she never tells another joke that no one else understands, it doesn’t matter, because what I love about her there are no words for. There’s no fitting description or analogy for what it is I’ve come to realise I love about her, no great saying or poem could ever describe how this love runs deeper than any kind of consciousness, it’s subconscious, unthinking and unwavering. And sometimes, just sometimes I see hope. Every now and then she’ll look into my eyes and I’m sure I see the old Tara. I’ll be studying and she’ll say my name just like she used to and I forget all that’s happened, thinking maybe I fell asleep working, so I’ll turn to her expecting her to ask what I want to do for dinner, but her face will be blank. So I feed her and I bathe her. I kiss her and tell her how much I love her and how I’ll never leave, and I wait. I wait for those moments where I’m sure I see hope in her eyes. Those moments when she’ll look up at me and I swear I see recognition and hope. And if she can have hope then so can I. So I’ll sit here and lace her shoes and wait for those moments where we both have hope and for a split second I’m sure that one day she’ll walk up to me, take my hand and tell me with that big smile on her face that I’m quirky but she loves me anyway.
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Hope you enjoyed.
Ham
IP: Logged
april
Gay Now!
Posts: 1434
Registered: Oct 2000 posted May 04, 2001 14:37
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guys, you've gotta stop! you're *killing* me with these fics!!!
sniff...sniff..*sob*
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ambers.toy
Doll's eye crystal
Posts: 89
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 04, 2001 14:44
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Oh my God Ham, that was so beautiful, I actually have tears in my eyes, it was so moving and summed up Willow and Tara's love so perfectly, thank you!
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"You two are the two who are the two, I'm the other one" Willow, The Yoko Factor
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Halcyon
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 194
Registered: Apr 2001 posted May 04, 2001 16:14
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*sniffle*
/me raises soaked white hanky and waves it alittle...
I surrender...please...don't stop writing these stuff...love them..ohh, love you guys who write too..love the kitten board and everyone posting ...*sniffle*
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Kieli
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 176
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 04, 2001 16:33
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*sniffs and blows her nose loudly to the consternation of her secretary* Ok, now you guys have thoroughly ruined my touch grrl reputation.
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"My heart doesn't stutter."--Amber in WBB
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Dr.G
Gay Now!
Posts: 1352
Registered: Jan 2001 posted May 04, 2001 18:36
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Beautiful, perfect.
April dear, maybe you should stop reading these fics. I'd hate to lose you.
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Warduke
Big Pineapple
Posts: 777
Registered: Nov 2000 posted May 04, 2001 19:57
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Ham, that was very touching, I can't believe all the great fics that are coming out after Tough Love, it was quite the inspirational ep
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Roxton
Strong like an Amazon
Posts: 1658
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 04, 2001 21:26
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Ham that was so touching, you really captured the essence of Willow's love for Tara. Now I'm getting all emotional again.
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xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico
Posts: 3218
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 05, 2001 13:58
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God reading fanfic this morning has made my eyes all moist. Thanks Ham.
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Wiccagrrl
Willowhand
Posts: 484
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 05, 2001 15:24
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*sniffle* that was beautiful. Do we have some seriously talented people on this board or what? And this ep sure has sparked people's imagination and creativity.
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Sneaky Kitty
Blessed Wannabe
Posts: 5
Registered: May 2001 posted May 05, 2001 23:48
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omigosh *wipes tear from her eye* that was awesome....
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"And we could make kitty go bonkers with catnip and stuff?" -Will BTVS
- To be great is to be misunderstoof - Emerson
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wiltar4evr
Doll's eye crystal
Posts: 106
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 06, 2001 02:27
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Wow! This is sooooo great Ham. You really know our girls.
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WTXenGab
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Kiwiccan
Willowhand
Posts: 500
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 06, 2001 04:15
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Very moving Ham. great work.
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Paula
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Amber FanGirl #1a
May the Amber Force be with you.
Tummy Rubbing Club Member #1
KAKOT Member #2 (Kitties Against Killing of Tara)