Title: Empty Boxes
Part: 1/1
Email address: mariacomet@hotmail.com
Feedback: - Gulp – Yes, please.
Distribution: Just let me know.
Spoilers: All episodes.
Rating: G.
Disclaimer: All Characters contained here-in are owned by and products of the genius of Joss Whedon and Co.
I’m still working on ‘Awake.’ In the meantime, I needed kind of a pick me up after ‘Wrecked’ and the muse hit me…so…
This is just going to be a one parter.
Empty boxes
by
Mariacomet
A knock came at the door and Tara glanced up from her ‘Late 19th Century through Contemporary Art’ book. She was a good student, but every class didn’t exactly make her heart go pitter-pat. Art appreciation classes were an exception. English, too, but mostly art. Her father would say that such pursuits were useless, which was likely true. After all, certain majors provided broader career possibilities than others. Still, she was considering a degree in Art History. With a sigh, the student lifted herself from the small bed and moved toward the door. Likely someone looking for her new roommate.
Tara even had the words ‘Sheryl’s not here’ formed when those words were stolen by the sight of her ex-girlfriend. Willow. Willow stood looking uncomfortable, holding a cardboard box.
“Hi,” the red head said. All Tara could do was nod. The pair just stared at one another.
Tara regrouped. “Um, do you want to…” The blonde moved back, opening the door fully, letting her actions complete what she didn’t have the presence of mind to say. “I didn’t know you knew where I was living.”
Willow ducked her head, avoiding the eyes of her former lover, and entered the room. “Dawn told me.” The red-head was still holding the box, looking about, looking anywhere except Tara. “So…new place huh? Got a new roomie.” Her eyes focused on the poster of a half naked Gladiator, then moved to a small tribute to imported beers.
“Her roommate had to leave a month into the semester. I was lucky they f-found something for me. Next semester I’ll…” Tara frowned. Talking about a future without Willow in front of Willow seemed too surreal. “I was thinking of getting a room alone.” Her blue eyes darted to the red head. Willow looked up at the same time. They both looked away. “Oh, um….here.” Tara took the box from her ex and set it on the bed.
“It’s been a month since you’ve been over Buffy’s. I just thought…I’m sorry if I…”
“It’s okay,” Tara reassured her gently. “Thank you for bringing everything.”
“Yeah.” Her small hands were linked folded before her. Tara could feel the other witch’s sadness. Willow was trying very hard to hide it. Trying…so hard. Dawn had told her about the accident ... and everything afterwards. Willow had gone through ups and downs and even one small incident where she fell off the wagon. It had been while patrolling, and Buffy had been in danger, but it had caused a truckload of tension around the Summers house. The blonde had listened to Dawn, but she hadn’t really wanted to. After seeing Willow with Amy…all she had felt was anger and pain, and the desire to get away from the sources of both. “Tara…” The need in the redhead’s voice made Tara catch her breath. “I just…” Willow raised a hand and covered her eyes. But it was too late, her former lover had seen the tears. It took every bit of resolve Tara had not to step forward and wrap her arms around the woman that still was her everything. The hacker caught herself and gave a long exhale before wiping at her eyes fiercely.
They stared at one another, both wanting to move – away or together. To run to something or run away. Everything was laid before them. Love that crossed boundaries and offered the promise of the unconditional. The pain of betrayal that laughed quietly in a voice that never stopped echoing. Such intense hope that it barely could be contained and threatened to break the heart. “I love you,” Willow said finally. “Everything I did was wrong, except that. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have the words. I just…I don’t have any excuse. I know that saying I’m sorry is stupid. But…if you knew…”
Tara shook her head, willing the words to stop, tears filling her eyes. She had dreamed this. Willow coming to her. Only, just as often as the dream came the nightmare that such a return would never come. It had been so hard to be strong. To leave. To stay away. She didn’t want her ex-lover to say any more. Her heart was already pounding frantically…reaching…reaching. “I just don’t think we should do this now. You still have so much that you have to face.”
Willow nodded. “I know. I know it’s not like I can just show up and say hey…come on home. It’s…I mean,” a nervous little laugh spilled from her, “if I said that it wouldn’t work, right?”
Tara’s throat was thick with emotion. She shook her head in the negative, wishing that it was that easy. “We need time.”
Willow lowered her head, her fingers clenched. “I know.” The soft determination in her voice only made Tara’s desire to take Willow in her arms more intense. Those emerald eyes jumped up, a flicker of momentary bravery shining there. “I thought maybe…if you want to one day, you could come over for dinner. Buffy and Dawn would be happy and…” The courage faded and she looked away again. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly be all, like, ‘guess who’s coming to dinner’ about it.”
Tara considered the proposition. Dinner. Just dinner. Goddess, yes, her soul was screaming. Her more logical side, however, was urging caution. Tara ignored it. “Y-yes.”
Willow blinked. “Could you say that again?”
A soft smile lifted her lips as her heart felt free for the first time in nearly two months. “I’d…I’d like that. To come to dinner.”
The answering look of joy on the red head’s face was dazzling. “Could we take a walk after dinner?”
Still with a shy grin, the blonde gave a small shrug. “I think we should see how dinner goes.”
The hacker’s vixen side peeked out for a moment. Hope and desire twinkled together in her gaze. “But if…if I guarantee ‘best behaviour Willow’?”
The newly moved in college student couldn’t fend off another grin from her lips. “Who could resist best behaviour Willow?”
They shared a brief smile, then their eyes danced away from each other again. “I want to ask you one thing. You don’t have to answer. I’ll ask and…then I’ll go.” Tara didn’t protest so Willow forged ahead. “Do you….do you still love me. Are you still, you know, in love with me?”
Tara could no longer stop herself from stepping forward. Her fingertips ran over Willow’s face in a tender caress. The red-head’s eyes fluttered shut, her chest rising in a sharp intake of breath. Tara leaned forward; dropping kisses on Willow’s closed eyes. They hovered there, the rushing sensation of touching one another tingling over them. Tears flowed openly down their cheeks as their breath mingled. The first time they had confessed their love, it was kneeling in church, offering their hearts. The prayer - take this, take me. I need you. Only you.
Willow lifted her hands to caress her lover's hair, hesitant, expecting the other woman to pull back. Or worse, that it was a dream toying with what all of her wanted so much to be real. The red head reeled in the achingly familiar scent of her lover. She played her fingers over the contrast of the texture of Tara’s hair, the softness of her cheek. She wanted more, but didn’t dare ask. Willow’s humbled spirit insisted she didn’t deserve even these little touches. It didn’t stop her from wanting. Magic was addictive and powerful, but nothing was as overwhelming a drug as one kiss from Tara. To beg for a kiss was an astounding idea. Her need for her lady love took her to a place where pride and sensibility didn’t exist. Nothing mattered but touching Tara. Sometimes touch was the only thing that could heal.
Tara’s lips lightly brushed hers. Sweet. Lingering. It was the barest possible touch and it left them both breathless. “Do y-you understand?”
Willow swallowed hard and nodded. “So…so…tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” Tara’s thoughts weren’t quite as steady as she would have liked.
“Um…dinner? Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow.” Tara agreed.