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preview of fic - When heaven cries

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preview of fic - When heaven cries

Postby Avern1 » Mon Apr 21, 2003 3:05 am

Its first half of first chapter of my fic. As all know my english is not

well and this is my ,co-wroting, with Kieli. I dont know when will

complete but I hope that is ,trailer, for upcoming story.......



WHEN HEAVEN CRIES

By

JIRKA ,AVERN, MOTL

translation from KIELI - thank you so much





CHAPTER 1



It was a damp and cold morning and the main railway station vaguely

resembled a boarding house. Along the benches and in the corners, people

are huddled together, (seeking refuge) refugees from the watchful eyes

of policemen who might try to remove them. All in all, things were

rather quiet until a voice came over the loudspeaker announcing that the

train from Vienna to Czechoslovakia would be arriving twenty minutes

late due to railroad track problems and apologised for the delay.

Outside of the once-historical main station building, policemen roust

groups of miscreants, their hard stares silently advising these homeless

beggars to go elsewhere to beg for their daily bread. And so this day

begins; it is the 27th day of the month of September in the Year of Our

Lord 2005. No one suspected what the future was to bring in the next

couple of days - and it was probably just as well.



From out of the darkness of the tunnel came the sound of squealing

brakes tunnel and two beams of light pierced the gloom. The fast train

from Vienna to Prague was pulling into the station. It's a wonder that

this shipwreck is still running at all; however the only railway

interchange for ten kilometres is this rickety train with brightly

coloured seats that is the product of the questionable fashion sense of

Czechoslovakian Railway.



The train slowly pulled into the station with the railway staff already

waiting on the platform to help passengers disembark if need be. Friends

and family also waited within the station along with several eager

merchants, hoping to make a sale or two. At last, the locomotive ground

to a screeching halt and the conductor bellowed his announcement of the

arrival of the train from Vienna on Track Five. The little doors from

each compartment of the train opened suddenly and weary travelers

streamed onto the platform. Many of them had deep, dark circles under

their heavy lidded eyes; trying to get any sleep on the rickety train

was rather a joke.



A massive boot attached to the leg of a rather beautiful woman hit the

asphalt with an audible thud. Her emerald green eyes glanced about,

drinking in the details of her surroundings. She swiveled around and

extended a hand to help her female companion down the steep stairs

protruding from the passenger car.



"We're FINALLY here, milady," the first woman said with a somewhat

exaggerated tone. Her long flaming red hair settled about her shoulders

like a warm blanket. One could tell that there were unspoken feelings

between the two. It showed not only in the red-haired woman's bearing

but also in her demeanor. The true depth of her feelings shone in her

green eyes. Her slender body moved with elegance and grace. She was

clad simply in black trousers, a blue turtleneck sweater and a leather

jacket.



At first glance, her companion seemed unremarkable, upon closer scrutiny

she was captivating. She appeared stockier than her red-headed

companion, but was somewhat smaller in height. Her dark blonde hair was

bound in two ponytails and her bright blue eyes peered out at the world

from a round, friendly face. Her full lips had a slight pout and she

had the worn-out look of a kitten that had just been awakened from her

afternoon nap. She too was dressed casually in a long jean skirt,

Cossack boots with low heels, a dark blue shirt and a jacket made of red

leather.

On her wrist she wore a silver pentagram, a symbol of protection from

outside forces.



She turned to look at the red-haired woman and smiled. It was the smile

of someone who had everything she could humanly want with the promise of

something more.



"You needn't be upset," she said calmly. "There was no harm done."



"But baby I want everything for our vacation to be perfect," she placed

a light kiss the blonde's cheek. It felt like magic. She blushed and

impulsively hugged the redhead.



"You're probably right, Tara. It's probably not a total loss," she

whispered to herself.



The held each other tightly for a few moments and then went,

hand-in-hand, on a quest for their luggage. Neither of them noticed a

figure watching this touching scene from the shadows behind a pillar on

the opposite platform. Nor could they hear the gravelly voice within,

"We'll see who is the Chosen One soon enough."









Edited by: Avern1 at: 4/21/03 11:49:32 am
Avern1
 


Re: preview of fic - When heaven cries

Postby chilled monkey » Tue Apr 22, 2003 5:11 am

An interesting start. I like the imagery you've used.



Looking forwards to more.

chilled monkey
 


Re: preview of fic - When heaven cries

Postby Rocktoddy » Fri Oct 24, 2003 4:34 am

Hey Avern!



I liked the preview! I have a thing with (old) railway stations and you did an excellent job describing it.



The fact that for once they're not in their usual setting is also very refreshing and interesting! I'm from The Netherlands myself and I've always wondered how they would cope being in another environment. It makes for a new story instead of 'boring' Sunnydale all the time.



I also had to snicker at the fact you have Tara being shorter than Willow. Heh. Usually it's the other way around, but somewhere in an interview I think Amber or Alyson said that Alyson was slightly taller, so you have it right. :)



And who's the creepy guy at the end? Hmmm...



In conclusion, I would very much like to read more of this! Thanks!



----

"It's like Buffy, but not really."-Amber

"See, I just came here to lip-sync."-Alyson

Rocktoddy
 


New to the Archive

Postby xita » Sun Dec 28, 2003 12:21 am

This is new to the archive. You can leave feedback!



To the creator of this thread: If you ever want to add something new, just email a mod and we'll move it to the active Pens board.


- - - - - - - - - - -
"Hard work often pays off after time but laziness always pays off now!"


Edited by: xita  at: 12/28/03 1:54 am
xita
 


Re: New to the Archive

Postby amazonaa » Thu Jul 29, 2004 8:40 am

Great job. But are Willow and Tara the chosen ones. Because I thought that was Buffy. And who does this character think he is saying this stuff? Does he want to be the chosen one? Im confused.:confused





Great job. With the start.





brittney







~Kiss this axe, bitch!---Tara "Bargaining part 2"~

amazonaa
 


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