taranwillow4ever: Quote:
No, No, Willow don't go out with Amy, don't go to Rack's. See the feelings as a spider sense of a problem, see the feelings as the universe getting her ready to help not hurt. I guess Willow hasn't learned the lesson yet...Looking forward to reading more and seeing how this all comes out.
That's an interesting take on what was going on with Willow, I like it. Thanks for commenting!
Wills-redemption:Quote:
I love your image of the bridge in construction, how it changes from positive to negative in Willow's mind a stark reminder how lost she still is.
Thank you, and poor Wills, we'll take of care of her!
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And let's face it, if Willow hadn't killed the two vampires with the help of magic and given Anya the diversion enabling her to break free from the third vampire, this situation could have had a catastrophic outcome.
This is the tricky part of the magic- it is useful, it's necessary sometimes, and it also comes with a price.
Thanks for feedbacking!!
Notes: all the previous disclaimers and such remain. I am a little nervous about this one, the latest version has not been beta'd- I hope I have found all the mistakes.
Ch 31: Upselling
The bell above the door rang in half-time as Tara eased into the Magic Box, her body moving slow as her heart pounded, fluctuating between anxiety and anticipation. Being Saturday, there was every possibility that Willow would be here, or would walk in at any time, and that possibility sent hummingbirds fluttering into Tara’s chest.
It seemed so natural at the time, to agree with Dawn’s suggestion they meet there, but every step closer on her long walk from the campus was accompanied by another mental kick of ‘Why did I agree to that?’
Because you need to talk to Anya, Tara reminded herself. It was why she was early, and left with no chance of a quick getaway.
Anya was aggressively pitching the benefits of newt eyes to a young woman dressed in her witchiest black, sending a quick nod of hello to Tara without breaking her speech. Tara slipped onto a stool tucked in a shadowed alcove, waiting unobtrusively. With divided interest, she looked on, part of her amused as Anya, in a single motion, deftly removed the jar of salamander eyes from the shopper’s hand and replaced it with the more expensive newt. The remaining, and more attuned, part of Tara’s interest scanned the rest of the store searching for signs of Willow, finding both relief and disappointment that she found none.
The woman exited the shop looking slightly bewildered, still mentally trying to catch up with the lightning fast sale that had just taken her money. Tara waited for the bell to stop ringing before commenting,
“You know the salamander works just as well.” She threw in a mock glare for good measure before glancing toward the door to the backroom.
“Of course I know,” there was a definite ‘pffft’ in Anya’s tone, “It’s called upselling, it's a very important proprietary skill.”
“I’m sure,” Tara said distractedly. Sometimes, when Willow studied some of the more sensitive materials, she would read them in there, away from prying eyes. With a shiver, Tara quickly looked elsewhere, avoiding that particular road.
“Why are you here? You haven’t been in for almost a month.” Anya was watching her now, following the knots Tara was making with nervous fingers until Tara realized and squeezed her hands together. She held them down, elbows straight in front of her. In seconds her fingers were worrying again.
“I’m, uh, meeting Dawn,” Tara took one last peek toward the front door and then with a deep and purposeful breath, unlocked her hands, placing them instead to pick at the edge of the sales counter, “And I wanted to check in with you, about my aunt?”
“Oh! Yes!” Anya burst with sudden energy, her excited hand shutting the open till of the cash register with a ping!, “I have something for you!” Anya ducked out of sight and ruffled through her large bag tucked under the display case before pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to Tara, grinning widely. On it was written her aunt's name and an address.
Exhaling slowly, Tara flicked her eyes to Anya, “They found her? D-do I need to pay or anything?”
“Oh, no,” Anya leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially; despite there being no one else in the shop, “They owe me several favors. You’re my friend, so I will use one for you.”
“Thank you Anya,” Tara read the information scrawled on the paper, absorbing the possibility in her hands.
“Just remember my graciousness when it's time for buying wedding gifts,” Anya said without humor as she repositioned a stack of bundled sage strategically placed next to the register .
Tara eyes widened, “Gifts… as in plural?”
“They can be small.” Anya conceded, tipping her head at her own selflessness and eliciting the hint of an eye roll from Tara.
“Um, ok.”
“So you’re going to actually make contact?”
Tara’s fingers started twisting again, pulling back and forth against each other, “I-I’m going to try. It feels like something I need to do. I think it will be good to get away for a bit- have s-some time to think. Besides, the dorms will be closing and I really don’t have anywhere else to live until they reopen, so….”
“Is that why you’re all fidgety?” Anya asked, now carefully replacing small rune- painted rocks on a dish in the display case, “I figured you were nervous that Willow would be here.”
“That too,” Tara admitted, sighing.
“She doesn’t come in very often, you should be safe,” Anya patted Tara’s hands in two measured beats then returned to her task.
Safe. The word slammed into Tara's chest with an unexpected force. Safe was a place she’d known very little of growing up outside of the times when she was with her mother, when it was just the two of them or when Jaime was around.
Strange how much safer she felt when she was with this group of monster fighters, ex-demons, and keys, when she was part of a world where supernatural horrors were an everyday occurrence, where they looked it in the eye and risked all they had. But the safest place, ever, was in Willow’s arms, where Tara had felt finally buoyed, supported and steadied after a lifetime of treading water. Would she feel safe in Willow’s arms now?
As the hold of betrayal and anger had started to loosen its bitter grip, Tara was able to remember the Willow she knew, the woman she loved. And that woman was so much more than those recent, terrible, actions. Willow was the soft pull of an ebbing sea and god how Tara wanted to wade into her arms.
Still, Tara knew that if Willow stole from her again, there would be nothing left, her sanity shred, debris in the water. The trust wasn’t there yet, remaining landlocked and afraid. So no, Tara didn’t feel safe around Willow, not yet. She wished she could, longed for it, waited for it.
Anya watched Tara lose herself in an unfocused stare, clearly somewhere else, pulling her lips into a frown. “Aren’t you going to ask about my Thanksgiving? It’s polite to ask after ritual holiday occurrences.”
Tara blinked twice as she raised her head. She pulled in a breath between parted lips and straightened her back, “Sorry, Anya. How was your Thanksgiving?”
“I grabbed a vampire by the balls,” Anya grinned, as proud as if she’d won shopkeeper of the year. Tara spluttered, her features morphing and shaping, unsure of where to land as she tried to decide how she was supposed to react to a statement like that.
“What?”
“Oh yes, it was quite frightening in the moment, but we prevailed and made many important wedding decisions after.”
“B-but everyone is ok?”
“Oh, yes, everyone is fine,” Anya reassured, not wanting Tara to become any more anxious than she seemed to be, “except the vamps, of course.”
The door bell jangled again and Tara whipped her head to see, her knuckles whitening as she pressed her fingers against the wood of the counter. Her thumb caught a flyer that was taped there, causing a slight rip. Anya squeezed her hand lightly before moving off to help the customer, Tara exhaled through her nose smiling wryly at her own actions.
When Dawn finally arrived, Tara had remained steady. The nerves weren’t gone, but as she turned to embrace Dawn, she felt strong enough to get past them.
“Hi! I’m starving,” looping her arm around Tara’s, Dawn directed them both back out of the shop.
“When are you not?” Tara jibed, waving to Anya as she was swept away.
“I’m a growing girl” the bell rang loudly over the door, Dawn swinging it with verve as they stepped out of the shop. The chilly late Fall breeze prompted a dramatic shiver from Dawn who snuggled into Tara’s arms, seeking warmth.
“You’re such a cold wimp,” Tara teased, squeezing Dawn to her side and shaking her playfully in the embrace.
“Hey, I’m not as bad as –“ Dawn clamped her mouth shut, her face flushing with regret.
“No, you’re not as bad as Willow,” Tara filled in, voice steady yet conveying her loss, “you can say her name.”
Dawn pulled out of the embrace a little, trying to read Tara’s expression, “Yeah?”
“Yeah, just maybe not….”
“A lot?” Dawn asked quietly.
Tara smiled softly, “Yeah.”
The two walked in silence for a moment, heading toward the busier part of downtown. Dawn hadn’t resumed her close tuck into Tara, both having dropped their embrace along the way, but they stayed close in their silence, both lost in thought. They approached the turn unto Main Street where they would need to make a decision. Finally, Tara finally spoke.
“So, where do you want to go?” Both women slowed until they were standing together at the juncture of two roads.
“Pizza?”
“Uh,” Tara shifted a look of unease crossing her face before she could stop it,” … sure”
“That’s not a very sure ‘sure’,” Dawn pointed out.
Absently placing her hand on her stomach, Tara wrinkled her nose, “Maybe something lighter?”
“Ok, Jack’s it is,” with a small hop Dawn continued on their path, leaving Tara a step behind her bemusedly shaking her head. Jack’s was a burger joint, and one of Dawn’s favorites, but they had a good salad menu so it was a good compromise. Dawn probably wanted a shake. The girl could exist on them.
“So,” Tara started, matching Dawn’s pace, “School’s almost out.”
“Yup, next week is state testing, you have finals right?”
Tara groaned, dropping her shoulders in a dramatic sign of exhaustion, “Oh yeah.”
“At least we get three weeks off instead of two for winter break- why do you think that is? Kirstie says that we are like the only school in the state that gets three weeks off, of course she’s also a mega bit-, uh, bitca,” Dawn attempted to recover but cringed and ruined the effect. Tara’s only response was a quick side glance and a knowing twinkle in her eyes.
“I guess probably because of the winter hours? You know, the sun sets earlier, more vamp time.”
“Oh yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense.”
“Well, I am an educated college student,” Tara quipped, holding the door of Jack’s Café open for Dawn and following her inside. As they were sat, Dawn thought of the upcoming winter break, wondering how Tara would spend her time.
Last year, Tara had stayed with Willow at Willow’s parents’ house. The Rosenberg’s were predictably out of town so they’d had the place to themselves. On the Solstice, Dawn had been asked over to help celebrate and she remembered the elation she had felt as she lit the gold candle, a sun etched on two sides, moving so carefully to guide the flame of her match to the wick. As the fire caught, Dawn had looked into Tara’s face, then Willow’s, both beaming proudly as Dawn honored the return of the light. It was one of the few times they had declined Dawn’s request to stay the night with them, Tara had said, “Not tonight, sweetie” and then had looked at Willow, only briefly, but Dawn realized then that Willow and Tara weren’t finished with their rituals for the night. She’d wondered why they hadn’t used the anointing oil that had been set out.
Watching them work magic was remarkable, Dawn remembered, so in tune, like synchronized swimmers, she mused before quickly shaking the thought,
but way less Stepford. There was something radiant about Willow and Tara when they cast together like that, they were radiant, suns in their skies, in their element. But this year… it brought a quiet concern across Dawn’s features. She wanted to see them back together. And she didn’t want Tara alone for the holidays.
They were seated and served drinks and Dawn tucked behind the large menu, trying to hide her awkward distress not knowing how to broach the subject without upsetting Tara.
Dawn could feel Tara glancing up at her, when she checked with her own quick peek saw the crinkled pull of skin that sat heavily upon the bridge of Tara’s nose, clearly concerned as she asked, “Dawnie?”
“So, um, what are you going to get?” Dawn hedged.
“A chicken salad, I think,” Tara replied, her head tilted slightly, “How about you?”
The waitress approached the table and Dawn's reply was interrupted then redirected, “Cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Tara gave her order, smiling at the waitress as she moved on to her next table before shifting her gaze back to Dawn’s pensive face.
“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?”
Dawn thought about deflecting but Tara had already seen through her, “Are you-, I mean, where-Do you have plans for the holidays?”
Touched by Dawn’s worry, Tara smiled softly, “I’m, um, going to Seattle, not specifically for the holidays, but over winter break. I have family there.”
“You do?”
“At least I’m hoping I do, I h-have an aunt that stayed with us when I was little, I haven’t seen her in a long time.”
“Why not? Is she from your dad’s side?” The disdain was barely hidden though Dawn tried and Tara sipped at her water, distracting the painful memories that had become too fresh and familiar this past month.
“No, she’s my mom’s sister,” Another sip and a slight shrug of her left shoulder, “and you know, families drift apart sometimes.”
“They shouldn’t.” Dawn heedlessly protested, catching her words too late and feeling terrible for dismissing Tara’s rough family life, “Unless they aren’t good people I guess.” Without hesitancy Tara covered Dawn’s uneasy hands with her steady touch.
“Family should always stay together, blood kin, not so much.” Tara smiled, slantwise and sincere.
………………………………..
The food arrived and Dawn ate unashamedly, licking the side of her burger when ketchup oozed out one side, barely stopping her objections, “You can’t take the train!”
“I can’t afford a plane ticket this close to the holidays.” Tara brushed her fork through the salad, collecting ingredients together before spearing them and then shrugged, “The train is fine. It’s way better than the bus.”
An image dropped into internal view: a picturesque view of goldenrod flowers, their faces turned toward the sun as they swayed in the cool breeze, singing in celebration of their vitality. Tara knew the highway was behind her, it had to be, but as she stood at the overlook, she knew the journey opened in the valley below. The bus stop. Tara remembered, it was a remnant from a dream had not so long ago. Her hand stilled, holding the salad on her fork, speared and ready, her gaze elsewhere until Dawn’s voice pulled her back.
“…. use mom’s car.”
“What?” Tara blinked, focusing on her plate until the snippets of conversation reformed in her awareness, “Oh Dawnie, that is the sweetest offer but I can’t use your mom’s car. Doesn’t Buffy need it?”
“Nah, she never really drives it.” Dawn popped a fry into her mouth.
Tara placed her fork back onto the plate and moved her fingers nervously over the water glass, condensation wetting the tips, “W-what about W-willow, doesn’t she still use it to get to school?” Slowly Dawn nodded, swallowing her food away.
“She does, but there will be no school, so she should be fine,” Dawn’s voice softened and she couldn’t quite meet Tara’s gaze, “Plus you need it. The train will be all crowded and loud…”
“Dawn…” Tara led, understanding that this young, not yet a woman, was worried for her. Her eyes squeezed shut, holding back the regret she felt for causing that, holding the rush of warmth for the care being shown, knowing both were apparent anyway.
“I’ll ask Buffy, that way you won’t have to,” Dawn offered as if the task was a breeze, easy and nonthreatening. A glob of ketchup was scooped up with fries.
Tara picked up her fork again, nodding, “We’ll see.” Tara would ask herself if she wanted to borrow the car, even if she would have to fight her nerves to do so. It wouldn’t be right to go through Dawn, but Tara loved her for the offer.
“So, when are you leaving?” Dawn asked.
“Um, Saturday morning,” Tara held her hand to cover her mouth as she chewed, “I have to be out of the dorms then so, it makes sense.” She looked at Dawn, head tipped to one side, “So we’ll have to skip our Saturday hang-outs for a few weeks, is that ok?”
“Yeah, of course, if you need to see your family,” Dawn nodded, trying to mask her disappointment.
Tara took her hand, squeezing it once before letting go, “I think it’s important.”
The sun was waning as they walked back toward the Magic Box, bright holiday displays of red and green, blue and yellow shining brighter as it dimmed.
“Will you call before you leave?”
“And many times while I’m gone,” Tara promised, bumping her shoulder into Dawn’s arm.
“You better” Dawn bumped back.
“So, um, how was your Thanksgiving?” Tara ventured, “Anya said there was some excitement. Of the vampire variety?”
“Total vamp action after dinner,” Dawn confirmed. Tara stopped walking, raising her eyebrows in questioning concern.
“Everyone is ok.” Dawn said and Tara nodded, glad to have the same report as had come from Anya.
“And this was at the house?” Tara asked.
“Uh huh.”
“Did they, um, know the Slayer lived there?”
“Oh yeah, and she wasn’t even there, see what I have to put up with?” Dawn playfully complained, “Buffy had left like an hour earlier on patrol, but,” suddenly Dawn felt like she’d taken off running and only now saw the cliff at the end of her path, Willow had used magic and she didn’t want to upset Tara, “we totally handled it,” she concluded hoping her tone was as convincingly confidant enough.
“Oh, good,” Tara sighed, remembering how often the Scoobys had fought without Buffy over the summer, when Buffy was gone and Willow... “How is Buffy?”
“Oh, um, she’s ok.” Dawn shrugged and gave a small smile to a man in a Santa suit ringing his bell for donations, “She’s still, you know, dealing, but I think she’s getting better.”
“Good, that's good.” The statement fell as if unfinished, Tara’s expression thoughtful but hindered. Dawn slipped her arm under Tara’s as she had done just an hour before.
“Willow is ok too,” Dawn softly gave voice to the unspoken and Tara’s eyes were hopeful and yearning.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I mean she’s in her room a lot and not, you know, all bubbly Willow and stuff but, she and Buffy are talking more,” Dawn paused, “in a really distracted kind of way.”
“Well, the several few months have been,” Tara trailed off pensively.
“Suck-ass?” Dawn filled in.
“As an understatement,” Tara agreed with a nod then smiled at Dawn, “That’s great that they’re talking, they need each other.”
“And, um, Willow. She really helped out, with the vamp sitch, she kinda saved us.”
The thought of Willow using magick made Tara’s stomach roil, it was too soon to think of her using and not be brought back to the pain of the Lethe’s bramble spell, but Tara couldn’t begrudge its use if it kept everyone safe. She flashed Dawn a tempered half-smile.
Dawn forged on. She wanted them back together, she wanted the broken bits of her family repaired, and if she could offer some good news about Willow maybe that would help.
“I think it made her feel good, to help, to use the magic for good.” Tara listened, taking in the words. Dawn was trying, it just wasn’t as simple as good versus bad. “She seemed kinda out of it before,” Dawn said and Tara looked up sharply, nearly running into a lamp post when her feet veered from their path, thrown off course by the sudden change in focus.
“Oh, she’s fine, Tara” Dawn assured, her voice squeaking a little and she squeezed Tara’s arm in comfort, “I think she was just really tired, she’d actually gone to bed, but then,” Dawn smiled, “after? She seemed really happy and, like, energized, although that last part was probably the adrenaline rush” Dawn’s near blind optimism shone on her face, it was so clear to Tara that Dawn thought she was helping, but what Dawn shared itched at her. Tara pushed away the frown that was forming.
The adrenaline high. It made sense, they’d been in a fight and had gotten through, high adrenaline was a natural reaction. Mentally she shook her head,
Don’t make assumptions when you weren’t there, Tara.
When they reached the shop, Tara stopped several feet away from the door, intending to make her departure. Dawn crossed into open arms and they embraced goodbye.
Dawn waved one last time before going inside to wait for her sister to pick her up, “Think about the car. I’ll ask Buffy, just in case.”
Filling her lungs with a deep intake of air, Tara let go and turned to walk back to campus, quickening her pace to beat the setting sun. She had a trip to plan.