The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

General Chat  || Kitten  || WaV  || Pens  || Mi2  || GMP  || TiE  || FAQ  || Feed - The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe

All times are UTC - 8 hours



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 133 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:58 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
I'm glad to learn from Tara's diary-entry about the party that she did tell Willow the whole story about what happened.
That Willow found the courage to tell Tara about her appointment with her psychiatric gives me hope that she wants to fight for their relationship. I loved how Tara reacted to that revelation, not asking questions about Willow's mental condition but offering to accompany and wait with her.

I'm looking forward to their date and hope Willow will get comfortable enough to resume their smooching after it. :wtkiss
Hopefully they won't have another encounter with Buffy before their relationship is strengthened again. Once Willow really believes that she is The One for Tara I'd love to witness her telling Buffy to stay the hell away from her girlfriend.

I'm wondering if Xander will have an appearance in your story too...I'd like him to be one of Tara's brothers who klicks with Willow right from the start when she accompanies Tara home for the christmas vacation (if you like the idea feel free to use it, hint, hint :flirt ).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:59 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Oh, my post opened page 3, yay! :banana :dumbo :bounce


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:01 pm 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
I agree with a previous comment about Willow's friends. They're not the most supportive. I'd like to see Anya playing a larger role.

This Willow seems emotionally fragile. Bumps in the road become huge gaping sinkholes. I'm looking forward to seeing how you write the next parts of the story. I like me a little angst, but not too much please!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 9:04 am 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 487
Topics: 5
Location: New York
Buffy's a real jerk. She needs to take a backseat and leave Willow and Tara relationship alone. And i agree too, Willow's "friends" aren't all that supportive of her.

_________________
Alyson, oh, Alyson why don´t you join my band? So you could play the flute like this one time in band camp.
I Am Forever / How I Met My Lover / Street Fighters / Paid To Get Excited / Pick My Partner / A Special Christmas of Sorts


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (July 29, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 5:55 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
mmmh-Hot-Sauce: Thanks for the feedback. I didn't mean to make her friends seem like jerks, I wanted to show that they cared and were looking out for her. I guess I've made them too abrasive. I need to work on that character development. I really enjoyed the rest of the story from which you'd left us the teaser. Thanks for the feedback.

Northernlass: I didn't intend to make Willow seem that emotional fragile. I thought one day of running away and 'licking her wounds" was rational. Her new girlfriend kissed an old girlfriend, as accidental as it was, that smarts. Willow's back to hanging with Tara on Tuesday, I think that is a good comeback. Thanks for the feedback, I will try to add more Anya into the story.

Will's Redemption: Thanks for pushing me to page 3! :eatme :bounce This is the Kittenboard, of course she is going to fight for the relationship. The date will help return the girls back to their intimacy projection. I named Tara's brother's already, but your feedback has made me figure a way to get Xander into the story. You may have to wait a bit though.

Dragon: Thanks for the feedback. As I said to mmmh-Hot-Sauce, I didn't mean to make the friends into jerks. I really see them as trying to look out for Willow. I don't plan for Buffy to make another comeback. She did her bit of angst creation.

Learning to Laugh
This part is PG-13
Disclaimer:Josh owns the characters, I imagine different lives for them. Amber is herself, and as I am realizing that JustSkipIt has a large part in the creation of my characters. Her stories are so real to me, especially Season 3 Y'all and Paths Diverged/Divulged. I realize that her stories get messed up with Cannon in my head. I am re-reading these stories and can't hold a candle to them, but the Tara in my mind is a combo of Cannon Tara, Amber Benson, and JustSkipIt's Taras. Willow is partially Cannon, partially mine, and most likely the rest a combination of all the fan fiction I read.
No spoilers.



Part 17
Willow woke up to the buzzing of her alarm clock. That sound is so annoying. I just want to throw the stupid clock on the floor. Willow reached for the offending object but hit snooze rather than destroying it.

When it rang again, Anya mumbled, “Please don’t hit snooze again. I didn’t get to sleep until late and I don’t have a class until 1.”

I do not want to get out of bed. I am ahead in Psychology and it’s not like he talks about anything other than what is in the book. I can afford to miss one class. I’m just so tired… Willow put the covers over her head and got ready to go back to sleep; however, this plan was foiled by the ringing of the phone. Willow jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone after the first ring.

“Hello,” she said rather sleepily.

“Hey Willow, you up? Want to meet for breakfast?” said Tara in a much sunnier mood than was Willow was actually feeling.

“I don’t know. I just woke up. I’m really tired. I was thinking of just skipping psychology.”

“Come on, it’s only 9:30. The Willow I know doesn’t skip classes. You are obviously awake. You can get up, shower and meet me at 10 in the cafeteria.”

“Ok. I’ll see you there at 10,” mumbled Willow. She grabbed her shower stuff, sweats, underwear and a shirt, and went to the shower room. Fortunately, a stall was available just as she got in, so she didn’t have to wait. She showered and got dressed in the stall, working hard to make sure she didn’t drag her sweatpants legs in the water on the floor. this is why a robe is better, she reminded herself.

She returned to her room. She tried very hard to not be too loud as she put on her socks and shoes, found her jacket and grabbed her backpack.

Tara was already sitting in the cafeteria when she got there. Willow was not particularly hungry, so she grabbed an apple, some peanut butter, and a carton of milk. She walked over to the table where her girlfriend was sitting, reading her notes.

“Hey, thanks for waking me up.”

“My pleasure, gotta admit that there are other ways that I like to wake you up, but that can’t be a daily occurrence.” Tara grinned at Willow.

Willow tried to smile back, but it ended up just being a half smile, her left lip going up a few millimeters. She yawned widely. Willow started cutting up her apple to put the peanut butter on it.

“You ok?” asked Tara. Tara looked Willow up and down. I must be looking great, wet hair in a ponytail, baggy sweats and a sweatshirt, jacket over it. I am just looking so sexy today. Tara looks cute in a tan long skirt, flowered top and her brown boots. She’s got a really good sense of style.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed.” She paused, “Oh yeah, and I can’t meet you for lunch because I have a doctor’s appointment right after psychology.”

“Dr’s appointment? Are you sick?”

“No, it’s a scheduled thing. It’s for my brain,” said Willow quietly.

“Somethings wrong with your brain!” said loud whisper.

“No, no. It’s a brain doctor, a psychiatrist. I have to see one every few months. It’s complicated.”

“Do you want me to go with you, not to the appointment per se, but to the waiting room?”

“No thanks, this is something I’d rather do alone. It’s a new doctor and I hate meeting new doctors. I have to go through my life history again and again. I wish they’d just keep good records and I could go in and out without worrying.”

“Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to get up, you don’t want to go to the doctor.” Tara took one of Willow’s hands under the table. Willow could feel the familiar tingling on her skin.

“Maybe…”

The two girls continued to eat, making light conversation until it was time to go to class.

***

Willow walked into the student health services and went to the receptionist.

“Willow Rosenberg. I have an appointment at 1:45.”

“Can you fill out this paperwork please.” The receptionist handed Willow a clipboard with several pieces of paper attached.

Willow began filling out all of the paperwork that she had filled out several times the year before. My health history, my parent’s health history, not going to change over the course of the last few months. Despite her objections, Willow filled out the forms and waited for her name to be called. Several minutes later, a man came out and said, “Rosenberg, Willow?”

Willow stood up, handed him the paperwork and followed him down the hallway. He turned into a room and Willow followed. She sat down on one half of the couch and waited for the doctor to begin asking questions. He was quickly scanning the pages that she had filled out. He turned to Willow.

“So, tell me about yourself Ms. Rosenberg,” said the man with the grey beard and suit. stereotypical much? I feel like I am staring at the reincarnation of Freud. Willow looked around the office. It was fairly sterile. A nondescript picture of a landscape, a two seater couch and a comfortable chair and side table. The doctor’s yellow pad was sitting on the table. He picked it up, took a pen out of his pocket and appeared ready to start taking notes.

“How much do you need to know to give me a refill on my meds? Didn’t the doc from last year leave notes? Or my doctor, I’ve been on these stupid meds for two years,” said Willow picking at the hem of her shirt. Why can’t they keep the SAME doctor every year. This has got to be the fifth shrink that I’ve had to talk to since getting out of the hospital.

“I need to know what you tell me. Lithium is not a drug to mess around with, I need to make sure it’s the correct medication to treat you.” The doctor picked up the pad, his hand ready to write.

Here it goes again. It is easier to just tell them what they want to hear than fight. Just do the spiel. She leaned back in the chair, put her hands in her hoody pouch and began, “Ok, my name is Willow Danielle Rosenberg, I’m 19 almost 20. I’ll be 20 on November 29th. I am a sophomore here. I was a really energetic kid, really inquisitive, good student, played softball. My most recent IQ score was 158. I got 1500 on my SATs (720 Verbal, 780 Math). My family moved every year that I was in school until my Junior and Senior year of high school. My mom is one of the foremost experts on Tort law, and she guest lectures at multiple institutions. My dad is a law teacher too, but he is more ‘general law’. I have no interest in law at all. I love math and computers. I always have. I started taking medications for depression when I was 15. I tried several of the tricyclic antidepressants. They worked ok, but I made the mistake of telling the doctor that I had some obsessive thoughts about killing myself with my medication. I’d been upset after I broke up with my first girlfriend, and it just popped out. I spent six weeks at McLean’s Hospital in Belmont, MA the summer before I came here freshman year. I was diagnosed with manic depression. They put me on lithium there, and I’ve been on it since then.”

“Tell me about your depression.”

“The depression started when I was a young teenager. I didn’t fit in. All the girls were starting to get interested in boys and make-up, I was interested in math. I was ahead academically. I never felt like I had friends because every time I’d make a good friend, we’d move. It was not worth it to get close to anyone. It got worse as I got older. Sometimes I got really down, and it was hard to get out of bed, I didn’t care about anything, all I wanted to do is sleep. Everything anyone said annoyed me. I didn’t want to eat. My maternal grandmother most likely was manic depressive. She was in and out of hospitals according to my mother until she ‘accidently died’ in a boating accident when my mother was 21. People don’t want to admit she committed suicide. I guess they are afraid that I will get ideas. I’ve been suicidal a few times, but never acted on it other than my obsession with overdosing on my antidepressants. My parents say that I was always irritable and full of energy, and my mom said that I often reminded her of my grandmother. I got the red hair and green eyes from her. My dad has reddish hair, and my mother brown. Both of my parents have “hazel” eyes. Grandma and me, the only green-eyed, red-heads. My parents were so proud that I was this intellectual phenom, but when I came out, they reacted badly. They’ve disowned me. Is that in your paperwork?”

“On a scale of 1-10, how depressed are you today?”

Willow looked at the doctor who was taking copious notes on a yellow legal pad. “I’d give it about a 6. My girlfriend and I are having a bit of a rough patch. But overall, I’m fine. I’ve got a 4.0 average, take five classes, work in the theater, am a co-leader of the campus gay organization, and earned a full scholarship here. I totally support myself. I am a sophomore, I’m in senior mathematics, and I have a double major in Math and Computer Sciences. You’re going to ask about mania now. I’d give my mania is a 2. I don’t think that I have manic depression. I think that they interpreted my clear assertion that I am a lesbian as hypersexuality. Also, I get sort of fixated on things, I am a really good student, and when I am really interested in something, I can go with less sleep.”

“Willow, you do realize that all the things you just said support the diagnosis of manic-depression. You’ve got to be a little manic to be able to do all the things that you just said you do,” said the man, continuing to write down the information that he thought was pertinent.

“No, you just have to be organized. I am not doing anything grandiose. I don’t think I am Joan of Arc or Jesus. I don’t hear voices. I don’t see things that are not there. I’ve never gone on a spending spree. I don’t sleep around, in fact I’ve never even had sex. I sleep 6-8 hours a night, I sometimes babble, but it usually makes sense, and I have never had high self-esteem. I’ve been able to keep the 4.0, my attention is good. They might think I am manic, but I know that I am just Willow,” stated Willow defiantly.

“Who is they?” asked the bespectacled man.

“The doctors and my parents. They use the fact that they think that the Lithium has helped to support the diagnosis. However, I know that Lithium can help for regular depression too.” Willow continued to look at the doctor with a steady stare.

“Your last blood level was low; have you been taking it as prescribed? How’s your eating? Are you drinking enough?”

“I had a brief period of not taking it, but I could tell that I was getting depressed, so I started taking it again regularly. I drink plenty of water, I am not as consistent in eating. If I don’t get to a meal I eat a granola bar. ”

“It is really important that you eat regularly. Granola bars don’t cut it.”

“I know. Listen Doc, I am doing well. In fact, probably better than I have in a long time. I am doing well in school, I have a new girlfriend, I have a bunch of friends. I just need a new prescription for my meds,” stated Willow in a frustrated tone.

“Are you getting therapy?”

“No.” Willow said with a defiant tone. I don’t want to talk to one more homophobic therapist. My sexuality is not the factor. It’s the fact that my mother’s family is batshit crazy that is the problem.

“It’s really important that you get therapy.”

“Why?” challenged Willow.

“To monitor your mood, and to talk about the things that lead you to be either depressed or manic.”

“I can do that myself.”

“I won’t give you a script for your meds if you are not in counseling.”

“Seriously?” Willow felt herself sitting up and moving so she was perched on the couch rather than sitting back in it.

“Yes.”

“So, you’re willing to make me relapse back into depression or mania or both?”

“It would be your willingness, not mine.”

Whatever. I know that the meds help, I don’t want to go into a depression, so I guess I’ll do what this guy wants. “Ok, whatever, I’ll go to counseling, IF it can fit into my schedule.”

“Good.” The man stood up, “You go make six weeks of appointments for therapy, and I’ll give you a script for 2 months of meds. I’ll see you again in 2 months.”

Willow exited the room, went to the receptionist desk, made six appointments, and was handed the piece of paper.

***

Willow walked out of her computer class and found Tara waiting for her. “My class got out early, I thought I’d meet you here so we could walk to dinner together.” The brown-haired girl’s cheeks were pink from the cold outside. She looks great in those lose cargo pants, and there is a little stripe of skin between the shirt and her pants. Her hair is in the zig-zag part that would look strange on a lot of other people but looks so cute on her. I’m glad she has a good jacket, so that little piece of stomach skin doesn’t get cold.

“Great.” Willow smiled toward Tara, her smile going to her eyes for the first time in a few days.

“Where do you want to get dinner?” asked Tara bouncing down the stairs of the classroom building and walking toward the door.

“I missed lunch, so I’m really hungry. Let’s go to the dining hall, not the cafeteria. Some hot food would taste good,” responded Willow as she opened the heavy wooden door for Tara.

“Ok.” Tara walked through the door and down the stairs. Willow followed her and they headed toward the dining hall.

There was a somewhat awkward silence as they walked down the pathway and into the well-lit building. The difference between the cold outside air and the warm dining room air hit Willow, and she was glad that she didn’t wear glasses. Other people’s glasses fogged up as they walked in, and one of these befuddled people stepped on her foot in the entry way. They got into line. The available hot food was some sort of chicken casserole, Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, peas, and apple cobbler. They both chose the Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. Tara chose broccoli while Willow chose peas. They both grabbed a roll, silverware and walked to an empty table.

“So, what is new?” asked Tara as she sat down. “Can I ask how your appointment went.”

“Sure.” Willow dug into her food as though she hadn’t eaten in days.

Tara waited for Willow to answer the question, when it was clear that it was not going to happen, she asked “How was your appointment?”

“Oh,” she answered as though she was surprised. “It was ok, what I expected.” She paused while taking another bite of food. She swallowed and said, “The doctor made me make therapy appointments before he’d refill my prescription, so now on top of all the things I have to do, I now have therapy on Thursdays at 9:30. “

“That sucks, that was one of our times,” stated Tara.

“Yeah, I know, but I really need to take my medication. I was also reminded that I need to eat lunch. I can only live on granola bars so long.”

“I imagine. I don’t know how you do it. As I told you, I get really grumpy when I don’t eat. Not that I couldn’t skip a few and lose some weight.” Tara looked down at herself.

“You are perfect just like you are. You are beautiful.” Willow looked at the girl and for the hundredth time though Thank you whatever celestial being/object/idea for pointing her in my directions

Tara blushed, “Thanks.”

After they were done eating and were bringing their trays to the dishwashing area, Willow asked, “Um, can I ask you a favor?”

“Yeah, anything.”

“Do you think you could drive me to a pharmacy so I can fill my prescription.”

“Definitely. Do you need to do it tonight?” Tara began walking toward the door.

“I can wait until tomorrow if you’ve got something to do tonight,” commented Willow as she tried to catch up with the slightly taller girl.

“If we wait until tomorrow, maybe we could go on a date afterwards?” Tara stopped, and turned to Willow. They were standing on the sidewalk.

“Miss Tara, are you asking me out on a date?” Willow looked at her with a beguiling smile.

“Yep. Are you willing to go out on a date with me?”

“Definitely.”

“What do you have left to do tonight?” asked Tara.

“Well, I am actually pretty free. I’ve done my geometry and my lab. But I guess if we are going out on a date tomorrow, I should make sure that I have my COBALT and Psychology done. “She paused, “Oh yeah, I’m caught up until next week.” Willow laughed.

“Sounds like you made good use of Sunday,” said Tara somewhat sadly. “You want to come to my room while I study for my Art History quiz?”

“Sure,” said Willow. She began following Tara toward her dorm.

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 2, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 12:25 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
I liked that we got a little more insight into Willow's emotional state here and I'm curious about whether the introduction of counselling will explore this a little more.

I feel like they need to reconnect since 'Buffygate' which I think worked well to show some of Tara's vulnerabilities, but equally for me it has raised Willow's anxieties.

Ooh a proper date! Looking forward to seeing how you write this.

There are so many ways forward with this story!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 2, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 1:12 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
I'm looking forward to their date. Maybe they can have some smoochies before in Tara's dorm room as a reward for successfull studying? :flirt
I really hope Willow will get a counselor she can trust and who can help her with her mental problems.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 2, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 10:20 am 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass:: They are going to re-connect probably in the next submission. I hope you like where I take the girls, and you like the date. We will definitely get some more understanding of Willow's head through the course of her therapy.

Will's Redemption: I guess we can imagine some :kiss1, but we'll get better ones next submission. As much as I was thinking about making the counselor a dud, I think I will try to write a good one.

Learning to Laugh
PG13
Disclaimer: Still Josh's, I imagine different lives for them. I must admit that my characters are most likely a combination of the TV show, all the fanfic I read, and my own brain. Continuing the shout out to JustSkipIt, but if my characters sound like anyone else's, no plagiarism intended.

Part 18.

Willow had rushed from her science lab back to her dorm so she could get ready for her date. She was feeling somewhat giddy. They’d been dating for a few weeks but hadn’t gone on a real date since their first quasi one. She looked at the time and realized that she had time to take a quick shower. She grabbed a towel, her shower bucket and robe. She exited her room, making sure that it did not lock behind her. She’d gotten locked out once and had to wait until Anya came home.

Willow went into the shower cubicle. She turned on the water and waited for it to get to the right temperature. She took off her robe and stepped into the warm stream of water. She put some of her strawberry scented shampoo in her palm and then massaged it into her scalp. Tara said that she likes my strawberry shampoo . She then began soaping up her body. As she put the soap onto her chest; she thought about the last time that Tara and she had been making out. The thought made her nipples pucker. She closed her eyes and imagined that it was Tara touching her rather than herself. She realized that she could get herself lost in this fantasy and not get to be with the real person. She finished her shower and went back to her room.

Willow looked in her closet for an outfit that flattering. She remembered that Tara had made a comment about the green shirt that she had worn the first time they met. Tara had said that they made her eyes look emerald green. She put the shirt on the bed. She grabbed a pair of chinos and added them to the pile. Willow went into her bureau and searched through her underclothes until she found her ‘best’ bra. It was the most ‘girly’ bra she had. It was padded and lacy. She put this on, as well as, a pair of underwear that if were seen would not be embarrassing. I am pretty sure that she’s not going to see them Willow said to herself. She put on the rest of her clothes, choosing socks that matched her shirt I know that people say that you are supposed to match your socks to your pants, but I like the color augmentation. Willow added a pair of loafers to her outfit and grabbed a jacket that she’d put on when Tara got there. Willow looked in her wallet to make sure that she had her prescription and ample money in case she misunderstood the date intention. She stood waiting for Tara. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

Willow opened the door. She was greeted by Tara who was in a sapphire blue dress that made her eyes pop and accentuated every womanly curve of her girlfriend’s body. She was wearing heels that made her about an inch taller than Willow. She had a pearl necklace with matching pearl earrings and was carrying a clutch purse that was the same sapphire blue as the dress. She was wearing makeup that was subtle but accentuated her natural beauty.

“Hey, you look nice,” said Tara looking Willow up and down.

“You too,” responded Willow, swallowing in order not to drool. Tara’s dress was low cut, and Willow could see Tara’s creamy breasts.

“Do I need to remind you that my eyes are up here,” said Tara with a laugh.

“I know where they are,” responded Willow her gaze remaining on her girlfriend’s chest.

“You ready. “

“Yeah.” Willow put on her jacket and followed the blond out of the room, down the halls and steps, and out of the dorm.

Once they got to the car, Tara asked, “Do you have a preferred pharmacy?”

“No, any drug store is fine. My prescription is pretty common.”

“I think that there is a drug store near the place we’re going to dinner.”

“Ok.” Tara pulled out of the parking lot and into the road to town. “You should know that I wanted to give you a big kiss when I saw you, but I didn’t want to ruin your lipstick,” stated Willow out of the blue.

“Ok, rain check for later?” asked Tara in a tentative voice.

“Definitely.” Willow put her hand on the gearshift.

“Are you better?” asked Tara when they stopped at a light.

“Better than what?” responded Willow who had been admiring her girlfriend’s silhouette.

“Never mind.” Tara blushed.

Willow ceased her staring and said, “No, sorry. Yeah, I just needed a little time to myself to think. I have to admit that I still have some feelings, but I’ll get over it. Now Buffy, I hope that I never see her again. I still kinda hope she blows up.”

“Like gets fat?” asked Tara.

“No.” Willow closed her fists and then opened them, “more like kaboom, “ She paused for effect, “How are you?”

“I’m ok. I still feel really ashamed. I should have known better.”

“Hey, don’t should on yourself. We all make mistakes.” She paused, “Just please tell me that next year, we’ll skip the alumni sports stuff, and you’ll try your hardest not to be accidently kissed by anyone but me as long as we are together.”

“Definitely. No accidental kissage by anyone but Willow, and that won’t be accidental, because it is what I want to do, purposeful kissage.” Tara took Willow’s hand.

When they got to the drug store, Willow went straight to the pharmacy, while Tara began looking around the store. Willow handed the prescription to the technician who loudly asked if they had the pills in stock.

“Must we announce my medication,” hissed Willow hoping that Tara did not hear. She looked to where the brown-haired girl was standing; it didn’t look like her attention had been piqued.

“It will take about 10 minutes,” said the chagrined technician. “Do you have insurance we should file.”

“No. I’ll pay for it myself.”

“Ok.” The technician brought the paper to the pharmacist.

Willow went and joined Tara who was looking at the magazines in the front of the pharmacy.

“Anything interesting?” She stood next to the brown-haired girl.

“Well, Newsweek is always kind of interesting. My dad used to have a subscription and I’d read it sometimes.” She picked up the magazine to show it to Willow.

“My parents got Time. If you look, both magazines have pretty similar pictures on it. The Challenger spaceship,” commented Willow. “They are basically the same magazine. My favorite magazine real magazine was National Geographic

“Maybe that’s how you became a boob gal, all those pictures of naked women.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I actually read the articles. I don’t remember paying any special attention to the women without tops. But really Mad Magazine was always my favorite.”

“I loved that magazine. I used to use my babysitting money to buy issues of it. “

The two girls walked around the store until the technician called out, “Rosenberg.”

Willow went to the counter, paid for her prescription. As they were leaving, the pharmacist yelled out, “Don’t forget you need to drink lots of water.”

Willow walked faster, embarrassed by the comment. Tara didn’t seem to notice.

They drove to a small Italian restaurant in a strip mall. “My parents and I ate here once. It’s got really good food,” said Tara.

The sign said,” Seat yourselves”. Tara and Willow went to a booth that was in a corner of the restaurant and sat down.

“You know you didn’t need to take me out on a date. The cafeteria is always fine for me,” said Willow opening the menu.

“I wanted to. I have a beautiful girlfriend. I want to show her off. On top of which, I realized that I like excuses to dress up. My grandmother gave me money for my birthday and I figured that this was a perfect way to spend it.

“What, I missed your birthday? When was the day that I could have called your mother and thanked her.”

“October 6th. I was still trying to get up the nerve to talk to you.”

A few minutes later, the waitress brought them menus and asked what they wanted to drink.

“A Coke, please,” said Tara.

“Just water for me,” answered Willow.

After the waitress left, Tara inquired, “Willow, can I ask you a personal question.”

Willow had a deer in the headlights look, but answered, “Sure.”

“I now know that you need to drink a lot of water. Is there anything else about your medicine or health that I should know?”

“No, just the drink a lot and I should eat when I take it. I take it at night.”

“So, if you sleep over at my room, I should remind you to bring it, and/or take it.”

“I guess. I have a pill in my backpack in case I ever need it.” Willow did not like being the focus of this conversation. “Is there anything about your health that I should know about?”

“Very allergic to shrimp. If my face starts swelling, call 911. I also have some regular allergies to dust and rabbits.”

“Rabbits, that is very specific.”

“My brother got a pet rabbit. We had to get rid of it because I was so allergic. It made my eyes all puffy and I couldn’t stop sneezing. I am most likely also allergic to cats, but I try to ignore that one.”

Willow looked at the menu. She knew that money was almost as tight for Tara as it was for her. She saw that spaghetti with meat sauce was the same price as with tomato sauce.

“What looks good to you?” asked Tara.

“I think I’ll just have spaghetti with meat sauce. I’m not a very adventurous diner.”

“I am going to have the chicken Parmesan. It’s really good here. My dad said the veal Parmesan is good too, but I just can’t think about eating baby cows.”

“Chickens are easier?” Willow asked inquisitively.

“I know it should be the same, but chickens aren’t as cute.”

“We should only eat ugly animals,”

“I guess. I’ve been thinking about becoming a vegetarian, but I really like hamburgers and steak.”

“That is a dilemma.”

Just then, the waitress came to the table, she put down a basket of warm rolls and their drinks and then took their order.

After the waitress left, Willow looked into the blue eyes of her girlfriend and smiled. “This is a really nice place, and you look really pretty tonight. That dress makes your eyes look even more blue.”

“Just like your shirt makes yours look so green.”

“I kinda feel like we’re back at the first time that we went out.” Willow reached under the table hoping that Tara’s hand would meet hers.

“I don’t want to have to go backwards. I really regret keeping the stuff with Buffy a secret. I’m going to try to be honest with you, even if it’s hard.”

Willow swallowed, “So is there anything else I should know, any other exes coming out of the woodwork?”

“Nope, I’ve got a couple at home, but nothing to be worried about. Anything or anyone that I should know about you?”

“Um…no exes, no secrets, well….” Willow swallowed again. “I guess I should tell you why I have to take medication.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Tara squeezed Willow’s hand.

“I want to tell you. It’s just that I’m kinda ashamed of it.”

“Why would you be ashamed of having an illness.”

“It’s a mental illness.”

“I figured, psychiatrist and all, but why should that be different than a physical illness.”

“It just is. I am embarrassed…” Tara squeezed Willow’s hand again. Willow felt like there was some sort of calming energy coming out of the brown-haired girl’s palm. It’s like when she rubs my head Willow took a breath, “Ok, I’ll just tell you… I have manic depression and have to take Lithium to control it. I will most likely have to take medication for the rest of my life.”

“Ok” Tara looked nonplussed. “Is there anything I should know about it?”

“Well, it’s pretty well treated, I think. My doctor stated that he thought I was a bit manic because of all the things that I am doing, but I think it’s just me being Willow. I’ve gotten very depressed in the past. I even had to go to a hospital for six weeks when I was sort of suicidal.”

“How can you be sort of suicidal?”

“It wasn’t that I wanted to die, I was just really focused on the fact that I COULD kill myself. I sometimes get these obsessive thoughts that I can’t get rid of.”

“Ok…” Tara looked at Willow with a concerned look on her face. “Did all of this with me and ‘you know who’ trigger your depression? You didn’t want to get up this morning.”

“A little. I got myself into sort of a funk Sunday when I disappeared. I’ve not been too good until today. But I’m better now.”

“How will I know if you are getting depressed or suicidal?”

“You’ll know. I’ll probably not be going to my classes. I won’t care about anything. I'll not be days ahead of myself in classes. Now mania, that is a different story. As I said, I just don’t need to sleep as much as usual and I get hyper focused on things. One of the symptoms is hypersexuality. That might be cool.” Willow winked at Tara.

Tara blushed at the innuendo, “Let’s hope you just stay in the middle. That’s the plan right, not too depressed, not to manic.”

“Yeah.” Willow looked around the room at the other diners. “Hey, this isn’t date conversation. How did you pitchers come out of the kiln?

“Really well. I have to glaze them and there is another ‘bake’. You want me to schedule another nighttime shift?”

“Definitely. I had a really good time last time.

“Ok, so I’ll sign up tomorrow. What does your weekend look like?”

“Pretty open, scheduled with Tara time and studying. Yours?”

“Willow time and studying.”

“Sounds like they mesh well.”

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 5, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:09 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Dibs! :whip

I really like their date so far!. Yay for Willow telling Tara about her manic-depression and for Tara's cool reaction to it. I'm glad that she takes it in stride, I hope that will help Willow and ease her embarrassment. Tara is so right, a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of!

I loved this moment:

Quote:
“Do I need to remind you that my eyes are up here,” said Tara with a laugh.

“I know where they are,” responded Willow her gaze remaining on her girlfriend’s chest.


:laugh Yeah, Vixen-Willow is just staring at your boobies as you certainly intended her to!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 5, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:23 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
As commented above I'm glad Willow told Tara about her diagnosis. Even in the modern day there's still such a stigma about mental health though I'm glad to say attitudes are changing.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 5, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 8:55 am 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: Hopefully the stigma is better now, but it continues to be one of the MAJOR mental illnesses. Thanks for the feedback, seeing your name always makes me smile. :blush

Will's Redemption: It made me grin widely that you liked my vixen Willow moment. I put little pieces in and wonder if they resonate with others. I hope you like the rest of the date. Thanks for commenting, it brings me joy. :)

Learning to Laugh
R-NC17
Disclaimer: Characters are still Josh's, I imagine different lives for them. I must admit that my characters are most likely a combination of the TV show, all the fanfic I read, and my own brain. Continuing the shout out to JustSkipIt, but if my characters sound like anyone else's, no plagiarism intended.


Part 19

“Oh, we shouldn’t have had that Tiramisu. I tasted so good, but now I feel buzzed and sleepy at the same time.” Willow was laying on her bed, her hands on her stomach. She’d kicked off her loafers and lay down. Tara was sitting demurely on the edge of Willow’s bed. It seems like she’s not sure if she should stay or she should go. I want her to stay. Look at her with “stay” eyes Rosenberg

“What does THAT feel like exactly?” Tara moved closer to Willow and started touching Willow’s stomach.

“Well, my brain is going a mile a minute, but my body is saying lay down.”

“Maybe it’s just the effect I have on you,” commented Tara in a sultry voice. “Me plus bed equals laying down.” Tara pulled Willow’s shirt out of her chinos and started touching Willow’s stomach.

“Definitely. You have a lot of effects on me. Some that I can easily talk about and some that are still too embarrassing to say,” replied Willow trying to give the other girl a taste of her own medicine.

“Well, Ms. Willow, I think you are flirting with me.” Tara leaned toward Willow undid the bottom button of the red-head’s shirt.

“Um yeah, you’re my girlfriend. Is it even called flirting? I’d say it’s more that I am coming on to you/propositioning you?” Willow looked into the sapphire eyes of her girlfriend.

“I guess it is all about the intentions.” Tara undid another two buttons, “So, my usual question, do we know when Anya is expected home?” She trailed her finger over the flesh exposed from the buttons being undone.

“She said something about going to a study group tonight. She’s got a bio test. I suspect she won’t be home until late. Why do you want to know?” Willow gave Tara a Cheshire Cat grin.

“Well, it’s been a few days since I’ve gotten my Willow fix.”

“Am I just a drug to you?”

“If you are, then I’m an addict. I’ll stop drinking and just be addicted to you.”

“You don’t want to drink anymore?” Willow perked up, realizing that it had changed from banter to possible truth telling.

Tara stopped her unbuttoning and sat up again. “I don’t know. It’s not like I’m joining AA or something, but I think that I should stop at one beer. It was the second and third that were the bad ones. I drank them really fast and it went to my head.” Tara looked down at her hands.

I don’t feel like having a serious conversation. Willow gestured to the space beside her. “Did I tell you how hot you look in that dress.”

“A few times. I knew that you’d like it. It accentuates my assets as you say.” Tara moved her assets near Willow’s face.”

“Those heels made your already great legs look…hum…I don’t know the word, but I liked it. How do you walk in those things though?”

“Practice. They are not too comfortable, but they go well with the dress.” Tara kicked off said shoes.

“I’d fall over. Not to mention, I’d look funny.”

“I bet you look nice in a dress.”

“You sound like my mother and so many other people.”

“Sorry, that is the last thing I want to remind you of.” Tara placed a kiss on Willow’s cheek. Then, she took her hand and began tracing a line from her cheek, down her jaw, onto her neck, to her collarbone and into the indentation between her two small breasts. Tara undid one of the top buttons of Willow’s shirt. Now there were only two buttons keeping Willow’s shirt together.

“I feel like I am in drag when I wear a dress. It doesn’t feel natural.”

“So, you shouldn’t wear one,” Tara whispered into Willow’s ear, gently licking her earlobe. “Hum…somebody’s wearing a lacy bra. Did someone want her girlfriend to see said lacy bra?”

“Maybe?” said Willow, looking at Tara through hooded eyes.

Tara undid the final two buttons of Willow’s shirt, separating the two halves so that the aforementioned bra was more prominent. Tara traced her hand around the garment and saw that the padding was hiding Willow’s reactions. “So now I see why you seemed to be a little more endowed; padding, but this padding makes it so much harder for me see if you are having any reactions to my touching you.” Tara traced the bra again, this time going toward the back and releasing the clasp. This allowed her to push the aforementioned undergarment up and take one of the nubs into her mouth while pinching the other one. Willow pulled her arm out of one side of her shirt, freed her bra strap, put the arm back on, and pulled the entire garment out of the other arm of her shirt.

Willow put her hands in Tara’s hair, bringing their mouths together. For the last few days their kisses had been chaste. This time Willow wanted to rediscover her girlfriend’s silky orifice with her tongue. She sucked Tara’s slick muscle into her mouth and explored each one of her teeth. Tara still had a hold of one of her breasts and was kneading the flesh and playing with the nipple in a manner that Willow looked forward to experiencing her play with another bundle of nerves. There is no way in hell I’m going to be able to hold of having sex with this girl. I want her SO BADLY.

Tara released Willow’s mouth and began placing feather-light kisses down Willow’s face and throat. She sucked at her pulse point, making sure to not place too much suction as to leave a mark. She continued her leisurely movement down to Willow’s chest. She created interlocking infinity signs on her breasts in smaller and smaller size until she connected the two pink buds that were surrounded by her puckered areolas. She then began kissing Willow’s stomach, down to her belly button which she laved in a manner that once again made Willow ponder how this would feel in her nether-regions. Tara kissed down to the button on Willow’s pants. Willow could not keep herself from writhing, and she wondered if Tara could sense how wet she was making her. I feel like I am going to create a puddle. Willow thought to herself.

Meanwhile, Willow still had her hands in Tara’s hair and was trying to determine some way that she too could be creating pleasure in the other girl. The way that Tara was laying made her beautiful white orbs quite noticeable. The dress crossed in the front, creating a pocket for each one of them. Willow stretched her arm so that she could touch the skin that was between the pieces of dress. Tara moved her body up again, capturing Willow’s mouth and allowing Willow to touch the objects of her interest. Willow yearned to divest the girl of her clothing items but realized that this would leave Tara in a much less covered manner than herself. Note to self, dresses taken off leave your girlfriend in just her underwear . Willow laughed to herself, causing Tara to remove her mouth and ask, “What’s so funny?”

Willow looked into the blue orbs, once again seeing mostly pupil and little iris. “Honestly I was thinking that I understand the appeal of dresses. Take them off and you’ve got your girlfriend in just her underwear.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Tara began to tickle Willow.

“Of course, but I think that we’d be uneven.” Willow began tickling her back. “You in your underwear me in my khakis.”

“We could fix that,” Tara pulled at the button of Willow’s pants.

“Um…you are still wearing your dress, so I need to keep on my khakis,” replied the red-head.

“Need or want?”

Willow stopped what she had been doing, which had been fondling her girlfriend’s breasts and pondered this question.

“Need. I’m sorry, Tara, I’m still not ready.”

“Me either, but it’s still fun to think about, and it’s fun to tease you.” Tara began to kiss Willow again.

***

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 5, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:01 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
Ooh dibs! I'm glad you enjoy seeing my comments. I'm not creative and would never write so I love the interactions with those who do. I think the date has recovered the closeness and gotten the girls back on track in the relationship department. Another update for the weekend would be nice (hint hint)!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 4:51 pm 
Offline
20. Not one Much for the Timber
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:32 pm
Posts: 3157
Topics: 14
Location: H-Town, Texas
Hey There!

I'm a little behind on the feedback, so please forgive my ramble.

I'm actually glad they haven't said the "I love yous" or had sex yet. Mostly because of what happened with Tara and Buffy. Geez, too much beer? That was kind of a lame excuse. If you don't want to kiss someone, you don't kiss them. Period. I'm not sure I would have been as forgiving as Willow, alcohol or not. It seems to me that Tara has a little growing up to do.

I'm glad Willow got some time to think and went to her Dr appointment. They are finally confiding in each other, which is another positive step in the right direction. The date was a good idea and I'm happy to see them back on the right track. BUT what happens if Buffy makes another appearance? Tara hasn't exactly told her NO....

_________________
Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:37 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Quote:
Thanks for commenting, it brings me joy. :fit

I think you accidentally clicked on the wrong emoticon here…

I'm glad that Willow feels comfortable enough again for proper kissage :wtkiss and "boobie-worshipping" (please excuse the clumsy phrase :blush ). I'm also glad that they agree to not take their intimacy further yet.

I liked that Tara accepted Willow's aversion against dresses. I felt stupid wearing a dress until my early thirties, now I enjoy wearing a nice summer dress every now and then when the weather here in northern germany allows it.

I second NorthernLass' hint that another chapter at the weekend would be nice...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:52 am 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Will's Redemption: I fixed the emoticon. I just saw the smile and didn't watch it. Thanks for the feedback. Tara is pretty accepting of everything Willow tells her. Let's hope it stays that way. Not another chapter, but here is an interlude. I had a difficult week and thus am now not writing ahead. These interludes were my last bit...But it is the weekend, so I will probably have some time to write. Thanks again.

Finey_Mc_Fine: Glad you like how it is going. As I confessed to Will's I am now not working ahead, so I can't tell you for sure what is going to happen, but I don't plan for Buffy to be much more of a problem. Yes, blaming it on the beer is pretty lame. I think that Tara has learned at least one lesson. I like lessons, so there will be more. :blush. Willow still has a bit of a wall up. Who will say "I love you" first? Will Willow give in to her urges? Are there more secrets? Only I know for sure and my muse has been a bit mute this week...Stay tuned. Thanks, it always means a lot to me to see your feedback. :bow

Northernlass: This doesn't really count, but it is something. See above about my progress in writing. I absolutely LOVE the interactions with you. Thanks a lot. I will aim for another installment on Sunday if my muse did not take a cruise.

INTERLUDE FIVE

Wednesday Nov 13, 11:00 PM
Willow got all dressed up for the date. She looked so good. She was wearing that green shirt that makes her eyes look even more emerald green. I think she thought I looked good because she was a bit speechless when she saw me. I’d pulled out all the stops and was dressed in the sexiest outfit that I could think of. I know she likes to look at my breasts, so I picked a dress that I knew would be irresistible to her. I really wanted to make sure that she knew that it was HER that I wanted, that the Buffy stuff was a fluke. I was a little surprised that Willow had violent fantasies toward Buffy. She wanted her to explode, but thoughts are definitely different than actions. Willow talked about the sports day NEXT year. I guess she is thinking about us staying together for a long time. I took her out to Italia. It is a restaurant that my parents found last year, and it has good food at moderate prices. I am pretty sure that Willow looked for the cheapest thing on the menu, but it seemed that she really liked it. We shared some Tiramisu. It was really good. Willow told me that she has manic depression. It was kind of scary to hear that she had wanted to kill herself a few times. I had figured that she was probably depressed or anxious. But from what I know about the illness, she should be ok. Her doctor may be right, she’s got to be a little manic to do all the things that she does. I worry about how I am going to deal if she crashes, but at least I know to look out for it. I think it is good that the doctor is making her go to therapy. I won’t say that, because it would probably make her angry. I can tell that being disowned is really hard for her. We made out afterwards. I can tell that Willow is getting as sexually frustrated as I am at times. I am ready to make love with her. I need to tell her that I know I am in love with her. I will probably tell her this weekend.

Thursday, Nov 14, 11:00 pm
I really wish that Willow didn’t have a class on Friday mornings and that we both didn’t work on Fridays. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride…It is two weeks until Thanksgiving. I need to decide if I am going to go home for it. It’s a long drive for what is basically a long weekend. I figure if I stay, I’ll get lots of Willow time. Ideally, I’d ask her to just come with me, but we haven’t been together even a month yet. I am going to invite her for sure for Solstice/Christmas. Most of my siblings end up going to their significant other’s families for Thanksgiving, because the Solstice/Christmas is more important to my parents. I guess it is getting close to time to tell my mom about Willow. She’s been asking questions about why I am not in my dorm very much. I think she suspects something. I am pretty sure that she’s going to be cool, but there is a difference between theoretically finding out that your daughter is a lesbian or bisexual and hearing about your kid’s same sex partner. Am I a lesbian? Bisexual? I know that labels are not important… I want to not have to think about it. I guess that I’ll know as time goes by.

November 17; 6:00pm
Anya went to Boston for the weekend, so we got to spend two nights together. Yay us. I didn’t want to write a letter to myself in front of her. I really like waking up and seeing Willow first thing in the morning. I like seeing her last thing at night too. I like seeing her whenever I see her. The soccer season is almost over. Saturday, we drove to Conn College to watch our friends play. We lost, even though our friends played really well. April, Sue and Augi got permission to drive home with us, so that was fun. We all ended up stopping and getting pizza and didn’t get home until late. Today was pretty much all studying for Willow, but she took a few breaks down in the sub-basement with me. She’s at the computer lab again tonight. I am starting to think that Math and Computer Science have to be some of the hardest classes, she has so much work to do every week. We had dinner together and then she went there, and I came back to my dorm. Claire was in the room, so it was nice to have some roommate time.

November 19, 1985
Tomorrow is our one month anniversary, of course it is a Wednesday which is our worst day. Willow is usually exhausted by the time her lab is over. I think that we’ll have to save really celebrating for the weekend, but I bought her a card. I wasn’t sure what to write in it. I get so tongue-tied around her sometimes, and other times, everything comes out so fluently. How do you pick the time to say you love someone? Should it be a spontaneous or thought out thing? Ok, I am writing to myself, so this is kinda weird, like I can answer myself.

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2019 1:04 pm 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
Dibs again and thanks for my weekend fix. It was much appreciated! I do love this story and your writing in general. Reading this taps into late teens me, all the excitement, the second guessing how someone else is feeling, overanalyzing EVERYTHING, and the general giddiness of falling in love. But you also intertwine some quite complex emotional issues and themes such as depression, anxiety, abandonment, low self esteem in a way that feels that it's not just to flesh out the depth of the story, but that is illustrative of how such issues impact on the individual and relationships, which gives emotional context. So yeah, continued excellence. Thanks.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:45 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Another interesting insight into Tara's thougts and feelings. It's understandable that hearing about Willow's manic depression (including her thinking about suicide) scared Tara. That she managed not to show it is good though, I think, as not telling Willow that therapy might be good for her. She would have probably misunderstood it at this early stage of their relationship.

Quote:
I need to tell her that I know I am in love with her. I will probably tell her this weekend.

Quote:
How do you pick the time to say you love someone? Should it be a spontaneous or thought out thing? Ok, I am writing to myself, so this is kinda weird, like I can answer myself.


So apparently Tara didn't tell Willow last weekend. The "one-month-anniversary"-celebration next weekend might be a good opportunity for the love-declaration. Maybe Willow surprises Tara and us and says the "I love you" first?

Hopefully Tara tells her family about her relationship with Willow soon. Otherwise she couldn't invite Willow to solstice/christmas with her family.

Don't stress yourself out if you can't manage updating several times a week.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 8, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:32 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Northernlass: Thanks for the awesome feedback :blush I am glad that it feels natural to you. That is what I am trying to do.

Will's Redemption: I don't know why those 3 words are so hard for either of the girls to say. It's just not coming. They both are thinking it, but I feel like Willow is having a bit of a crisis and is having to be a little more "self" centered, and the Buffy stuff has thrown her more than she is willing to admit. Tara needs to do some introspection to see why she "accidently" allowed Buffy to kiss her. Maybe she needs to admit culpability; I don't know... This bit and the next are more Willow focused.


Learning to Laugh
PG
Disclaimer: Characters are still Josh's, I imagine different lives for them. I must admit that my characters are most likely a combination of the TV show, all the fanfic I read, and my own brain. Continuing the shout out to JustSkipIt, but if my characters sound like anyone else's, no plagiarism intended.

Part 20

Willow woke up to an insistent knock on the door. She looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was 8:45 AM. She looked over to see if maybe this knocking was for Anya, but the bed was unoccupied. Willow trudged to the door and opened it. She was greeted by the sight of her beautiful girlfriend. She was wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt that made her eyes even bluer than usual, tan cargo pants and blue sneakers. In her hands were two cups of hot chocolate and a paper bag that Willow figured held their breakfast.

“Hey sweetie, I figured that you probably wouldn’t get up in time to get breakfast, so I brought it to you.”. Tara shimmied out of her coat.

Willow looked at the cheerful woman and asked, “How can you be so happy in the morning?”

“Why not be happy. I had a great time with my girlfriend last night, we celebrated our one month anniversary, and now I am with her again.” Tara put the cups and bag on Willow’s desk and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Willow sat down on the bed next to Tara, she put her head on the taller girl’s shoulder. “Can you lend me some of this energy?”

“Sure,” said the brown-haired girl meeting Willow’s lips with her own. After a few moments of kissing, Tara pulled away.

“Huh?” said the sleepy red-head.

“There is more of that to come if you get up and dressed. You’ve got an appointment to go to in 45 minutes.”

“I can think of a lot of better things to do during that time other than go talk to some counseling student?” purred Willow into Tara’s ear.

Tara smiled as she pulled her ear away from Willow’s.

“You’ve got to go to the appointment sweetie. You made a promise.”

“But I don’t want to go.” Willow pouted.

“I hear you, but why waste your time pouting, when you could be getting dressed, eating breakfast and spending time with moi?” Tara pointed to herself.

“Ok, Ok.” Willow gave Tara a peck on the cheek and went to her bureau to get underclothing, and then into her closet to get dressed. Within a few minutes, she exited the area in her trademark sweats. She plopped back on the bed.

“Don’t get all dressed up to meet this new person.”

“What she sees is what she gets. If I am going to be tortured, I’ll be comfortable.”

“Is therapy really that much torture?”

“Yeah. Have you ever been?”

“No. I met with a school counselor once after my grandmother died, but that wasn’t really therapy.”

“Well, I’ve been to probably ten therapists in the last five years. You get to know one and then they leave, or move on, or your insurance stops paying, or something always ends up messing it up. You finally start working on some real issues, and then they leave you hanging.”

“Are you worried about meeting a new therapist?” questioned Tara.

“I’m not worried,” said Willow in a defensive tone. “I’m just frustrated that the doctor manipulated me into doing this.”

“Ok, don’t bite my head off.” Tara pulled away a little.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you.” Willow moved closer to Tara, her voice taking a quieter tone. “I just am kinda grumpy this morning. I shouldn’t be. The first thing I get to see is my wonderful girlfriend, who brought me breakfast and hot chocolate.” Willow got up and grabbed the bag and drinks and sat down on the floor.

Tara joined her on the floor; they began eating their breakfast.

“Have you noticed that a lot of our time is spent eating?” commented Willow.

“Maybe not enough,” replied Tara with a vixeny smile.

Willow looked at Tara with a perplexed countenance. She went through her personal lexicon and realized what her girlfriend was thinking about. “You can make anything I say sound dirty.” Willow poked Tara’s knee.

“I can’t help what you say,” teased Tara back. “I can’t help that I am learning that I have a dirty mind. I am always hearing things that make me giggle. Sometimes I think I have the mind of a 12-year-old boy.”

“Well, I’m glad you don’t have the body of one,” Willow looked Tara up and down and then smiled. “Unlike me.”

“You do not have the body of a 12-year-old boy. You just hide your feminine attributes under those bulky sweats.”

Willow looked down at her clothes. “Yeah, I guess I do,” she paused, “but they are so comfortable.”

“I get it.” Tara nodded, “You feel safe and secure when you are wearing your trademark sweats and hooded sweatshirt.”

They finished their breakfast, as Willow was exiting the room to brush her teeth, Anya brushed by her and sat on her bed.

Once the door was closed, Anya turned to Tara and asked, “So what are you going to do about Willow’s birthday. Do you think we should celebrate it before or after Thanksgiving break?”

Tara looked at Anya dumbfounded, “Huh.”

“You didn’t know that Willow’s birthday is the day after Thanksgiving?” asked Willow’s perky roommate.

“No. Whenever I ask her anything about her birthday, she changes the subject. We haven’t even talked about Thanksgiving. I figured that she is staying here, and I’ve been thinking about staying too.”

“Yeah, she isn’t a big celebrator, but hey, it’s her 20th birthday. We should celebrate.”

“Definitely. Thanks for telling me?”

“Thanks for telling you what?” asked Willow as she entered the bedroom.

“Nothing important. Just about something about a mutual friend.”

“I didn’t know that you had mutual friends.”

“Hey, I’ve got a lot of friends Willow,” stated Anya. “Several of my friends are Art History majors. My friend Tanya is in Tara’s drawing class, right?”

“Yeah. She is. She’s a nice girl, you’d hardly ever even notice her.”

“Oh. Ok.” Willow sat down on her bed next to Tara. “So, you promised me some Tara time.” She snuggled up to the brown-haired girl.

The brown-haired girl looked at the clock, “Ok, we’ve got 5 minutes,” she looked at Anya, who indicated that she’s make herself sparse for the 5 minutes. “then you need to get going to Student Health. Do you want me to walk with you?”

“No, I’m good,” replied Willow. “In fact, I guess I should probably leave now. Who knows if I’m going to have to fill out any more papers?” She turned to her girlfriend, “I know if I start, I won’t want to stop, and then one of us is going to get mad at the other. Either I’ll be mad at you for pushing me out, or you’ll be mad at me for not going…”

“That is a mature decision, I guess you are not a 12-year-old boy.”

“Not last time I checked,” said Willow looking down at herself,” and don’t you offer to check, because then for sure I am not going to this appointment.”

“How did you know that was what I was going to say?”

“Hey, dirty minds, not just your purview.” Willow kissed Tara quickly on the lips, grabbed her backpack and headed out the door.

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:14 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Dibs! :whip

I'm a little disappointed that you skipped the anniversary-celebration… so obviously no love-declarations happened? I expect they had lots of smoochies but I'm wondering if they exchanged presents and if they spend another night at the pottery-studio together.

That Tara doesn't know Willow's birthday really surprised me.
Quote:
Whenever I ask her anything about her birthday, she changes the subject.

Did Tara ever outright ask for the date of her birthday? I don't know how Willow could dodge answering this question without it feeling extremely awkward.

Hopefully Willow's new counselor will be trustworthy and will stay in his/her position as long as Willow needs therapy.

Quote:
“In fact, I guess I should probably leave now. Who knows if I’m going to have to fill out any more papers?” She turned to her girlfriend, “I know if I start, I won’t want to stop, and then one of us is going to get mad at the other. Either I’ll be mad at you for pushing me out, or you’ll be mad at me for not going…”

“That is a mature decision, I guess you are not a 12-year-old boy.”

“Not last time I checked,” said Willow looking down at herself,” and don’t you offer to check, because then for sure I am not going to this appointment.”

“How did you know that was what I was going to say?”

“Hey, dirty minds, not just your purview.” Willow kissed Tara quickly on the lips, grabbed her backpack and headed out the door.


Willow's actions here leave me with the good feeling that she is really willing to give the new therapy a chance to help her and thoughtful enough to prevent further stress with Tara. And yay for the return of Willow-vixen!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:17 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Will's Redemption: Sorry that the anniversary was not a scene. I added some to this Interlude to give you a feel for it. I am editing Willow's therapy session, so you will see how it goes. She explains what is getting in her way. The kiln babysitting will also be glossed over. I want to get to Thanksgiving, so I've got to move it along. I was SO HAPPY :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana
That you quoted that vixeny part. I was very proud of that little interchange.

Learning to Laugh
PG

Interlude Five

November 20, 1985
Willow and I celebrated our one month anniversary. We had dinner together, and then went to Willow’s room. Anya kept coming in and out, so we didn’t get a lot of privacy. Willow gave me a cute Boynton Card with one of those little furry things holding a balloon. It said, “I like you.” She signed Willow with a smiley face. I gave her a card too. It was one of those blank cards, so I just wrote “Happy One Month Anniversary” in my best handwriting. We decided that we’d really celebrate it this coming weekend. I called my mom and told her that I wasn’t going to come home for Thanksgiving. I said that I felt that it wasn’t worth the gas money. She said that it was going to be a small Thanksgiving anyway. My older siblings are going to their significant other’s houses for the holiday and my brother is staying in college too. Mom made me promise that I’d be coming home for Christmas. I told her that coming home for Christmas/Solstice was a for sure thing. I need to tell my mother about Willow so it will make sense when I ask to bring her home.

November 21, 1985 10:00 am
I found out that Willow’s birthday is next Friday. We were hanging out in her room this morning. When Willow got up to go to the bathroom. Anya asked what I was going to do for Willow’s birthday. She wanted to know whether we should celebrate before or after the holiday. After Willow left for therapy, we talked about it and decided that it would be easier to try to get people together Sunday night. Anya thought that she could make a cake when she was at home and would invite all of Willow’s friends. I agreed that would be better than rushing to do it before. I felt really stupid that I didn’t know. I wonder why Willow didn’t tell me her birthday was coming up. Is she one of those people who hates her birthday? Should I mention it? Accidentally find her driver’s license and notice the date. Actually, I don’t even know if Willow has a driver’s license. I remember her telling me that her parents were all “public transportation” people. Another question I should ask her.

10:30 PM
I was talking to Sue and April about Willow’s party when she came up to the table. It really bothered her that we stopped talking. If she just told me it was her birthday, then I could make a comment about it being a surprise. Why doesn’t she want me to know that it’s her birthday? I should have just asked her point blank when her birthday is, if she didn’t answer me, it would be strange. Maybe it makes her sad and reminds her that she’s been disowned. I sometimes feel really angry at her parents. Willow is such a sweet person; how could they just leave her? It makes me appreciate my parents so much. We sat in her room and cuddled while we watched TV. Willow was really hyper. She kept getting up and down and she couldn’t focus. I hope nothing is bothering her.

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2019 11:56 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
Dibs again! :whip
I just realized that Tara has changed the style of her diary, no longer writing "Tara, you did…" and so on. Fine with me because I think the "normal" diary style is easier to read.
I fear Willow misunderstood the stop of conversation between Tara, April and Sue when she appeared. Maybe she even suspects Tara broke her confidence and told the others about her manic-depression. Hopefully she is brave enough to tell Tara about her suspicion so Tara can be able to clear up that misunderstanding and ease her fears.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:36 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:19 am
Posts: 176
Location: Wales
Love this story so much so far!

_________________
- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 13, 2019)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 6:13 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Leftindust: I am glad you like my story. I like writing it. Thanks for reading.

Will's Redemption: I am starting to think that you should get a writing credit. Your comments frequently spark ideas for the next piece. I really appreciate you're insights. I am glad that you like the "typical" diary entries. The "you" stuff was awkward. Thanks for commenting.


Question: Should I do a posting schedule (i.e. Sunday and Wednesday), or keep randomly posting?

Learning to Laugh
G-PG
Josh et al own everything, I just imagine different lives for Willow and Tara. They are a combo of cannon characters, fan fiction iterations, and the actresses (Amber and Alyson).

Part 21

Willow entered the Health Center and checked in with the same receptionist as she had seen when she went to the doctor. She sat down and grabbed a magazine, noting that it was almost a year out of date. Would it kill them to have up to date magazines. The transatlantic balloon flight happened last year She began reading the article. She was pulled out of her reading stupor by a quiet voice saying,

“Willow...Willow Rosenberg?”

Willow looked up and saw a tall woman, dressed in a light blue sweater, black pants, and black loafers. She had grey/brown hair, and black-rimmed glasses. I figured the therapist would be younger.

Willow stood up and walked across the waiting room, she followed the woman down the hallway and into an office that had a comfortable feel to it. There was a two person couch and a chair in one area of the room, and a desk with lots of papers on it on the other side. Humm not looking much like a counseling student.

Willow sat down on the couch, put her hands inside her sweatshirt pocket and looked at the woman. “I thought you’d be a student.” She said to the woman who sat down in the chair and was looking at her.

“Yes, we have a lot of student counselors from the local graduate school, but I take on some cases as well. I am Dr. Lehane, the head of the counseling department.

Great, not going to be as easy to snow this one. Well, it just makes my job a little harder. Willow looked at the woman. Hazel eyes, looks about 40, Massachusetts accent, hum..” The hazel eyes looked at her expectantly.

Willow did not like to hold anyone’s gaze, except maybe Tara’s , Willow thought to herself.

She looked down at the hem of her sweatshirt and started straightening it out. Every few seconds she looked up to see if the woman was looking at her. Every time she did, the woman was.

After a few minutes of silence, Dr. Lehane said, “Not a big talker?”

“Well, actually, I am a very active participant in my classes and I am known for my babbling, but not so much to people I don’t know.”

“I see,” said Dr. Lehane nodding. “Well, let me tell you a little about myself. I am Faye Lehane, I got my Ph.D. from Boston University, I have worked in several outpatient settings, a few inpatient settings, the BC counseling center and now this college counseling center for the last five years. I am going to be your assigned therapist. Everything you say here is confidential unless you say that you are going to hurt yourself or someone else. Now tell me a little about yourself?”

“I am Willow Rosenberg, I am getting my BA from here. I am a double Math and Computer Major with a minor in Theater. I work in the theater, and last summer I worked at the Stop and Shop grocery store down the way, as well as, being a lab assistant in the physics department. I am here because the psychiatrist made it a condition of my receiving my script for Lithium.”

“This is not your idea?”

“Definitely not. I’ve been to my share of therapists and I haven’t really ‘clicked’ with all but one. That ‘one’ ended up leaving the practice four months into my treatment.” Willow looked the woman in the eye.

“You’re not too trusting of therapists?”

“I’m not too trusting of anyone,” responded Willow.

“Who do you trust?”

“I don’t know, nobody.” Willow paused, “I thought my girlfriend maybe, but then something happened and I am not sure right now.”

“You are gay?”

“Obviously, I just said I have a girlfriend.” Willow stared at the woman, a look of defiance on her face. How you going to deal with this one. It’s been a deal breaker for several of the therapists I have seen. You start seeing my sexuality as the problem, I won’t participate.

“Some people refer to their friends as girlfriends,” stated the older woman.

“Not teenagers or college students, that is an old fashioned word,” replied Willow.

“I get it. You think you might eventually trust your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I am starting to. I told her about having manic depression yesterday.”

“How did that go?”

“It went fine. She kinda took it in stride. I don’t know if that was her honest opinion, or if she was secretly stressed out about it.”

“You don’t trust her to give you her honest response? Why do you think she might be stressed out?”

“Um, chronic mental illness, here, who would want to be with someone that you know could go over the deep end at any moment.”

“Is your manic depressive illness that poorly treated that you could go over the deep end any moment?”

“No, actually I don’t even think I have manic depression. I think that I just am a little ADHD with some depression thrown in.”

“Why do you think you have ADHD rather than mania?”

“I’ve never done some of the things that people with mania do. I don’t hear voices, I don’t go on spending sprees, I am not hypersexual, I sleep pretty well, I never have delusions of grandeur. I am just very energetic, I do a lot of things, I talk a lot, but people tend to understand me, I get excited about things. I sometimes have trouble sitting still. I think the kicker is that my grandmother had manic depression, so they automatically think that is what I have.”

“Tell me about your grandmother?”

“I never met her, she died when my mom was in college.”

“How did she die?”

“Well, the family report is that she drowned in a boating accident, but many of my relatives think that she committed suicide. She’d been at the Institute for Living a few times. She actually met Charles Adams there once.”

“Why do they think that your grandmother committed suicide?”

“I don’t know. That’s just what I heard.”

“Can you ask your mother.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t talk to my mother. I haven’t talked with her for almost a year,” said Willow in a matter of fact tone.

“How come?” asked the therapist.

“She and my dad disowned me when they found out I was a lesbian. I refused to change, so they cut me off. A gay daughter didn’t fit into the image they want to communicate to others.”

“What do your parents do?”

“They are visiting professors in law. My mom is one of the foremost tort lawyers in the country. My dad is just a normal professor.”

“You’ve not spoken with either of them for a year?”

“Nope. My father occasionally sends me a card and a money order, but the cards just say, “Love Dad.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“How do you think I feel about it? I am angry, I am sad, I am a little relieved, I feel frustrated…”

“You sound angry.”

“Sure. I hate to admit that I am all alone.”

“You feel like you are all alone?”

“Good reflecting my feelings back at me. They taught us all about communication when I was at McLean’s. Reflecting, paraphrasing, summarizing. I can converse with the best of them. “She put on a phony accent, “What I hear is…”

“Ok. I get it. Theraspeak is annoying to you.”

“Not all the time. I am just kind of on edge this morning.”

“How come?”

“Well, this whole meeting a new person, and I thought you’d be a student, and then you weren’t, and my girlfriend woke me up this morning with breakfast, and I hadn’t expected that. I don’t do so well when what I expect doesn’t happen.”

“You like to be in control of what is going on.”

“Not control per se…”

“Not bad controlling; but you like to know what is going to happen, controlling.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about this girlfriend who brought your breakfast this morning, but you’re not 100% sure whether you can trust her based on something that happened and/or not trusting her reaction to your stating you have manic depression.”

“It was a month yesterday. She’s really nice and caring, she’s beautiful, a little taller than me, with multicolored brown hair and the bluest eyes that I have ever seen. She’s an Art History major and she’s a really good artist. She dresses really nice. I didn’t want to come here. I wanted to stay in my dorm and hang out with her until class.”

“You had to come here rather than hang out with your girlfriend.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’d be frustrated if I had to leave my girlfriend and come meet with a therapist.”

“You have a girlfriend?” asked Willow with an excited voice tone.

“The gender of my partner is neither here nor there. I was just reflecting back that you wanted to spend this time with your girlfriend.”

Willow’s tone went back to monotone. It would be cool to meet some older lesbians. Might give me some hope for the future. “Yeah, cuddling with my girlfriend is definitely preferable to talking to a stranger.” Willow’s focus returned to the hem of her sweatshirt.

“Do you want to talk about what happened that is making you not too sure about if she’s trustworthy?”

“No.” Willow began fiddling with the hem of her sweatshirt.

“Do you think it would help for you to talk about it?”

“Probably, but I think that it is something I can deal with myself.”

“Do you have anyone you can talk to about your concerns?”

“I could probably talk to my roommate, but everyone is really “pro” Tara, so I don’t think that they’d want to listen to my “anti” Tara thoughts. Not that they are really “anti” they are just sort of frustrated/confused/angry thoughts.”

“Sounds like the perfect thing to talk about to someone you don’t totally know, perhaps a stranger, but someone whose license is dependent on keeping what you say confidential.”

Willow thought for a moment, “Ha. Ha. That is kind funny.” She said with a straight face. “Ok, what the hell, I might as well problem solve this issue. Tara was always evasive when the topic of previous girlfriends was brought up. She asserted that she hadn’t had any girlfriends but admitted to some sort of same sex attraction/activity. I knew that there was something with this girl Buffy who graduated last year. Well, a couple weeks ago, Buffy came to campus for the alumni soccer game. She was flirting with Tara a lot, but I was trying to be cool. She was at a party that night, and Tara told me that she “accidentally” kissed Buffy twice. I just kind of keep getting caught up with the “accidentally”. She has blamed drinking too much, and I don’t drink, but I am pretty sure that I have been able to avoid being kissed by anyone who I didn’t want to be kissed. Not that I have kissed many people, but that is beside the point.”

“You are having some difficulties trusting that this kissing wasn’t somewhat welcome.”

“Kinda. I really like Tara a lot, in fact I think that I have fallen in love with her, but there is this little piece of “accidently kissed” that echoes in my head when I think about saying it. I don’t want to give my heart out; and find out that Tara is someone who kisses other people. She swears that she is not, and she swears that Buffy is the only other girl that she’s kissed and that she has no interest in kissing her again, I think she might love me too…I don’t want to mess this up with my paranoia, but I think I’d feel better if she just said, I let Buffy kiss me twice. I don’t know why I let it happen, I am sorry, and it will not happen again as long as we are together.”

“Maybe you need to tell her that is what you need to hear.”

“That would be awkward. Plus, wouldn’t it just give her the script and I won’t know if she means it?”

“It really is about trust, Willow.”

“Ugh. I REALLY like her. More than I have ever liked anyone else. I thought I was in love with my first girlfriend, but it was nothing like this. There is a physical thing that just pulls me to her.”

“You are very sexually compatible?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t had sex. I want to wait until I am sure.”

“How will you know you are sure?”

“I don’t know. I just know that she gets my hormones racing, and I don’t think I will be able to wait much longer.”

“What will it mean to you to have sex.”

“I guess it is the topic we are discussing. I will trust her; I will be vulnerable to her.”

“So, this “accidental kissing” is getting in the way.”

“Yes.”

“So…”

“I have to talk about it. I have to be honest with her.” Willow went back to playing with the hem of her sweatshirt.”

“Is your sweatshirt hem helping?”

“Listen I don’t really like looking people in the eye, I don’t like talking to strangers. I need what little comfort I can get by focusing on my hem.”

“Wow. Hit a nerve, eh?” said the therapist.

“No, not a nerve.” Willow decided to change the topic, “So, how come I got you? Why wasn’t I assigned to a counseling student. I thought I’d be a good case. Manic Depressive, lesbian with abandonment issues. It’s a trifecta.”

“The doctor thought that you’d do better with someone with experience. I guess you made some comment about all of your therapists leaving?” the woman said, “Our students are only here for one semester, it’s almost the end of this semester anyway, so anyone we assigned to you would only be here for about three sessions, unlike me who plans to be here for a long time. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That is what they all say. Are your parents ill? Are you going to get pregnant? Are you healthy? Is your partner going to be relocated?”

“I am guessing that there have been multiple people who have ended therapy abruptly.”

“You could say that.”

“You commented that there was one that you liked. What was good about this therapist?”

“She was real. Honest, she didn’t sugar coat stuff and she seemed to understand me. She didn’t side with my parents about how difficult I was, she saw that they were part of the problem too...that was a big part of it, she understood that some of my behaviors were a reaction to stuff that they did.”

“What did your parents do?”

“We came up with the term ‘benign neglect’. Everything always centered around my mother. We moved almost every year so she could lecture at different law schools. They were always taking off and going to conferences and meetings and leaving me at home with babysitters, and eventually alone. I spent a lot of time alone. I just wasn’t what my mom expected in a kid. I think she thought I’d be a little her. I am nothing like my mom. As soon as I began to exert my independence, we began bumping heads. The only thing good that I’ve done in their eyes is be really smart and a good student. But even then, it was ‘Oh Willow, it is nice that you are the salutatorian but why not the valedictorian?’. Shit, the valedictorian had been at the school for four years, and I only two, so they gave the title to her. We were tied academically.”

“Your mother didn’t understand that?”

“She never bothered to listen.”

“It sounds like you are really angry with your mother.”

“Ya think?” said Willow with a sassy tone.

“You have mastered the sarcastic come back, eh?”

“You could say that.” Willow couldn’t help herself. She was starting to like this woman.

“Just in the interest of full disclosure, obviously we won’t be meeting next week. Next Thursday is Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah.”

“What are your plans?”

“How I spend every holiday. Sitting in my dorm reading, if the cafeteria is open, I’ll get food there, if not, I eat the food that I’ve saved from the cafeteria and/or gotten from the store.”

“Is your girlfriend going home?”

“I think so. I haven’t asked her. She’s got a big supportive family, so I suspect that she’ll be going home. I haven’t told her that my birthday is the day after. I don’t want her staying here just because of that, and I don’t want her to feel badly about it.”

“Don’t you think that you should give her the opportunity to make that decision herself?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know usually means that you don’t want to answer a question.”

“I know, but honestly I don’t know. We’ve only been together a month. That isn’t a long time. She’s been with her family 20 years… I am probably going to be dog sitting for one of my professors. He mentioned that he needed to put his board his dog and I offered to look after it. He said I could even stay at his house if I wanted.”

“That sounds better than sitting in your dorm. You’ll have the dog to keep you company.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Willow and Dr. Lehane continued to talk, and Willow was actually surprised when it was time for the session to end.

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Last edited by taranwillow4ever on Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:25 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:19 am
Posts: 176
Location: Wales
This is a great update, wish I'd met a counsellor like that haha, good to hear more of Willows true feelings.

Personally I'd love a schedule so I can check updates easier but don't force your creativity, really looking forward to the next update though!

_________________
- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 11:51 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:01 am
Posts: 212
I'm glad that Willow has an experienced councelor now with whom she seems to have "clicked" right from the start. Is the name Faye Lehane coincidental or should I try to imagine Faith with glasses?

Nice to get an insight into Willow's reason for not mentioning her birthday to Tara. I really hope she will take the advice to tell Tara that she is still bothered by her calling the kisses with Buffy "accidental".
I'm wondering if the professor who asked Willow to take care of his dog might be Giles?

I wouldn't say no to a regular posting schedule if you have enough chapters written in advance. If not, don't stress yourself needlessly by trying to keep a "deadline" twice a week.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 11:29 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
As the previous two posts have noted this is a great update. A straight talking, cut through the bullshit counsellor who has managed to give Willow some food for thought.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2019 3:33 pm 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 487
Topics: 5
Location: New York
I'm glad that Willow's getting the help she needs and is discussing the "accidental kiss" even if talking with a stranger's a challenge. Therapy, although intimidating and somewhat uncomfortable, can be very beneficial and hopefully Willow works out her internal demons so she and Tara's relationship can grow. Looking forward to the next chapter

_________________
Alyson, oh, Alyson why don´t you join my band? So you could play the flute like this one time in band camp.
I Am Forever / How I Met My Lover / Street Fighters / Paid To Get Excited / Pick My Partner / A Special Christmas of Sorts


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 21, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:50 am 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 671
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Leftindust:
Quote:
wish I'd met a counsellor like that haha,
Wouldn't we all :) I try to think that this is how I'd counsel a kid like Willow. Thanks for reading. I am going to try to posting schedule and see how it is working. My biggest challenge is that I want to know what people think about what I've written, so once a part is ready, I want to post it... This will be the first Sun/Wed attempt and we will see how it goes.

Will's Redemption:
Quote:
Is the name Faye Lehane coincidental or should I try to imagine Faith with glasses?
Maybe her mom, minus the alcoholism and shitty boyfriends, a mom who would be a good influence on Faith and help her feel better about herself.

Quote:
Nice to get an insight into Willow's reason for not mentioning her birthday to Tara. I really hope she will take the advice to tell Tara that she is still bothered by her calling the kisses with Buffy "accidental".
I'm wondering if the professor who asked Willow to take care of his dog might be Giles?


Willow's going to talk to Tara, it's the only way that the relationship will progress. I have plans for a more involved Giles, so I randomly picked Walsh, minus the psychopathy, just a name. Thanks for commenting, I :blush when I see all of your comments.

Northernlass:
Quote:
A straight talking, cut through the bullshit counsellor who has managed to give Willow some food for thought.
I am known for being pretty 'cut through the bullshit', so I guess I am putting a bit of myself into Dr. Lehane. Thanks for reading.

mmmh-Hot-Sauce: Yes, therapy is going to be very necessary for Willow. Dr. Lehane has definitely prompted Willow to act, and on Wednesday you will read the results. Thanks for reading and commenting.


Learning to Laugh by Taranwillow4ever
PG
Disclaimers: Same as always, I think I imagine different lives for our two characters than Joss and Marti ever did.

Feedback: PLEASE I :grin when I see new feedback and it makes me want to write more.

Spoilers: None, My story is set years before the show. I think Amber and Aly were in elementary school in 1985.

Schedule: Working on a Sunday & Wednesday posting schedule. Three little pieces today.


Part 22

Willow entered the cafeteria. She scanned the room and quickly saw the familiar brown hair and blue jacket of her girlfriend. Tara was sitting with April and Sue and they were in the middle of a conversation. It got silent when Willow came toward the table.

“You don’t have to stop talking on my account. I don’t even have to sit here if you want to keep talking…” commented Willow, as she started looking for another seat.

“No, no. It’s nothing like that...” Tara gestured to the seat beside her. “We were just talking while we waited for you.”

“You sure.” Willow looked at the three girls who had the hand in the cookie jar look on their faces. Tara nodded and Willow sat down.

After an awkward silence at the table, April stated,“I heard that they are going to have Thanksgiving dinner for supper tonight.”

“Like we really need to have that meal twice. It won’t be anything like my aunt and uncle’s Thanksgiving dinner. I am sure that they won’t be serving turkey and ham or collard greens, or mac and cheese,” said Sue.

“You have mac and cheese at Thanksgiving?” asked Tara.

“Yeah, you don’t?”

“No, Thanksgiving to me is turkey, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes, yams, green bean casserole, and pie,” stated Tara. “What about you Willow, what was traditional Thanksgiving fare for you?”

“Um…we usually went to another professor’s house every Thanksgiving, so it was whatever they served. No ham though, Jewish.”

“We never had ham either. Turkey Thanksgiving, roast beef for Christmas, ham for Easter. My parents aren’t even really doing Thanksgiving, none of us are going to be home.”

“You’re not going home for Thanksgiving?” said Willow attempting to not sound overjoyed but being unsuccessful.

“No, it’s not worth the drive all the way for just four days. I figured that you were staying on campus, so it would give us a good chance to spend time together.”

“Cool. I am dog sitting for one of my professors, I will ask if it’s ok if you stay with me. He’s pretty cool, I don’t think that he’ll care.”

“That sounds like fun. If it’s not ok, at least we can spend some time together, right. The dog can’t take all of your time.”

“No, I dog sat some this summer for him and his family, it’s a good dog. Their house is really nice too. He said that he has a Nintendo game system and that he’ll show me how to play Super Mario Brothers.”

“Is that like Atari? My brother had an Atari 2600 system. I used to like to play Space Invaders and Frogger. I really liked Pac Man too,” said Tara.

“Yeah, it’s a lot like it. I always wanted an Atari game system, but my parents thought it was a waste of time. I played a lot of pong. I got tired of playing it though.”

“I’d like to play it with you some time,” stated Tara. “My girlfriend, the computer wiz.”

Willow blushed. She began eating her lunch. After a few minutes, April and Sue left. Once they were gone, Tara asked, “So how did your appointment go?”

“Actually, it went pretty well. Instead of a student, I got the head of the counseling department. I swear she told me she has a girlfriend, but when I asked, she stated that ‘it didn’t matter if her partner was female or male’. I think that is suspicious. Most straight people just announce their straightness. Her name is Dr. Lehane.”

“That is good. At least it won’t be too bad to have to see her.”

“Naw. It will be ok. How was your class?”

“It was fine. I am glad that after the next one, I don’t have any more until Monday. You still good with us babysitting the kiln on Sunday?”

“Yeah. I like hanging out in the Arts building. If there are a lot of people in the Arts rooms, we can sneak off to the theater.”

“Sounds good. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“Well, class in an hour, and then I usually have dinner with my girlfriend. I’ve got my math homework done already, so my night is open. I’d sort of like to watch Cheers. Maybe cuddle up in my bed, make some popcorn, watch TV?”

“Won’t your girlfriend be jealous if you are spending time with me?”

“I’m pretty sure she’d understand. She knows that you are irresistible.”

***
INTERLUDE 5.1
11/21/15 10:30 PM
I was talking to Sue and April about Willow’s party when she came up to the table. It really bothered her that we stopped talking. If she just told me it was her birthday, then I could make a comment about it being a surprise. Why doesn’t she want me to know that it’s her birthday? I should have just asked her point blank when her birthday is, if she didn’t answer me, it would be strange. Maybe it makes her sad and reminds her that she’s been disowned. I sometimes feel really angry at her parents. Willow is such a sweet person; how could they just leave her? It makes me appreciate my parents so much. We sat in her room and cuddled while we watched TV. Willow was really hyper. She kept getting up and down and she couldn’t focus. I hope nothing is bothering her.

***

Part 23

Willow found herself having trouble paying attention during work. She and a few of the other theater workers were disassembling the risers that they had put together the previous week. It was boring work and it seemed that everyone was in their own little world. Willow’s world was full of the thoughts about how she would talk to Tara about her concerns. Why did April, Sue and Tara stop talking when she came to the lunch table? Did Tara tell them about my manic depression? Were they looking at me with derision, fear, concern? I didn’t tell her not to tell anyone, but I thought it would be a given. If I wanted everyone to know, I’d tell them. It took me almost a month to tell Tara…Maybe they were not even talking about me and I am being paranoid. That is probably what is happening. Am I paranoid? If I’m paranoid, maybe I do have manic depression, paranoia is part of both mania and depression. I don’t want to have it. I want to just have regular ADHD and depression. What if I am starting to go more crazy? The literature says that manic depression gets worse in the early 20’s. I am going to turn 20 next week, maybe it is like a time bomb. Maybe I am going to go over the deep end. Am I going to become like some of the adults I saw on the grounds while I was at McLean’s. Am I going to become a chronic mental patient? What if I can’t finish college? Why would Tara want to be with me if I am crazy and have to live in a hospital? Willow noticed that her thoughts were racing, she turned a bolt the bolt the wrong way. Calm down Rosenberg focus on the task at hand. You are taking your medicine. You are not going crazy. You need to talk to Tara about the relevant stuff. The Buffy stuff and the making sure that Tara is not telling anyone about my mental health. Focus on today and the next week. You are going to get to stay off campus in a nice house for four days with your girlfriend with whom you have fallen in love. Said girlfriend is most likely going to be sitting outside the theater waiting for you to get off work. Willow tried to focus on her work and not perseverate on what she needed to tell Tara.

When work was done, she went outside of the theater. She was disappointed to not immediately see her brown-haired girlfriend, but as she was going down the stairs to head toward the cafeteria, she saw Tara walking toward her. Tara was wearing a batik long skirt with a matching top. She had her black pea coat over her arm.

“You got out early,” commented Tara.

“A little.”

“I was in my drawing classroom, I lost track of time.”

“It’s fine. You are here.” Willow found that she was struggling to make eye contact with the blue-eyed girl.

“Yeah. Lunch?”

“Definitely. As usual I didn’t get breakfast before my class. I had my usual granola bar, but I can’t live on those.” Willow put on her jacket.

“Definitely can’t. Preference for what hall?” asked Tara as she put her pea coat on.

“I don’t care, you?”

“Either is fine.”

“Let’s just go to the cafeteria. I’d like a burger and fries. I am hungry,” stated Willow.

“Ok.” Tara tied a multi-colored scarf that was in her coat pocket around her neck. They walked out of the Art’s Building. It was a chilly day, and both of their noses and cheeks were red by the time that they got to the cafeteria. Willow stood in line to get a burger, while Tara stood in another the line to get a sandwich. Willow was finished before Tara, so she waited for her and then they went to check out. The cafeteria was not particularly crowded for a Friday; they went to a sunny table and sat down.

Willow dove into to her burger, taking several large bites. She gestured to her fries. “Help yourself, they gave me a bunch today.”

“I just might,” said Tara grabbing a fry and dragging it through the ketchup that Willow had put on her plate.

“Hey, you took the biggest fry!” exclaimed Willow.

“No, I didn’t. This one is longer,” said Tara as she grabbed the fry, put ketchup on it and popped it into her mouth.

“Remind me to wait until I’ve eaten the longest fries before offering them to you,” joked Willow.

“I won’t’ do that. I like the reaction you give me when I steal your fries.” Tara looked at her with a devilish look.

“Vixen.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Takes one to know what?” asked Faith as she walked up to the table and sat down.

“Just a fry burglar,” stated Willow.

“Is that like the McDonald’s Hamburglar?” asked Faith.

“Isn’t Grimace the fry character?” commented Willow.

“I think so, but there are those little fry guys too,” stated Faith.

“Actually, Grimace was supposed to be the milkshake guy. He started out stealing the milkshakes,” commented Tara.

“You’re right,” exclaimed Willow. " I remember that now.” Willow took another bite of her hamburger, chewed and swallowed, then asked, “Hey Faith, where is Terry?”

“She went home already,” said Faith a look of sadness overtaking her usually sunny countenance.

“You didn’t go with her?” questioned Tara.

“Nope. Let’s just say that an invitation to come to Thanksgiving was not extended to me,” commented Faith. A look of sadness and anger flashed through her eyes.

“How come?” asked Tara gently.

“I don’t know. Terry wasn’t going to go either when I was not “welcome”, but her great-grandmother is not doing well, and she really wanted to be there for what is most likely going to be her last Thanksgiving. Terry is coming with me home for Christmas.”

“That’s good. What are you going to do for the holiday?” asked Tara.

“I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s house in Hyannis.”

“Thanksgiving on the Cape, that sounds cool” commented Willow.

“Yeah, I like them. It should be good. I’m going to catch the bus from Attleboro on Wed.”

“Do you need a ride to the station?” asked Tara.

“That would be nice,” responded Faith.

“Ok, just tell me when your bus is, and I’ll or we’ll take you to the bus station.”

“Great. Thanks.”

“Tara and I are going to be house/dog sitting for Professor Walsh,” said Willow.

“ I am sure that will be nicer than staying in the dorms,” responded Faith.

“Yeah, I think so. He’s got a nice house.”

“So, he said it was ok for me to come?” asked Tara.

“Yeah. He thought it was great that I had a friend to keep me company.”

“He doesn’t know that I’m your girlfriend.”

“I said that you were my girlfriend, but I don’t think that he understood/heard. I don’t know. I didn’t think it was necessary to emphasize it”

“No, I wouldn’t think so.” Tara grabbed another fry from Willow’s plate. This time it seemed that she was choosing one at random rather than trying to get a rise out of Willow.

“What are you two doing this weekend?” asked Faith.

“I don’t know. Pretty much hanging. I’ve got work tonight, Willow’s got dorm stuff. Willow’s always got a lot of schoolwork, five classes and all. I’ve got some art project work. Our usual weekend stuff,” responded Tara.

“They are showing The Breakfast Club at the Science Center tomorrow. Have you seen it?”

“No. I heard it was good,” said Willow.

“I saw it, but it would be fun to see it again,” commented Tara.

“We should meet up and go together. Leslie, Jessie and Maggie are still on campus too. We could maybe get pizza delivered, and then all go?” said Faith.

“Sounds like fun,” commented Willow.

Willow and Tara finished their meals and sat with Faith while she finished hers. They all left the cafeteria together. Faith started walking toward the main campus, and Willow and Tara toward Willow’s dorm. They had gone about 15 feet when Willow said, “Can we go somewhere other than my dorm right now. There is some stuff I want to talk to you about and I don’t want to do it in my room.”

“Should I be worried?” asked Tara with an already worried tone.

“No, just some stuff that I want to talk to you about. It came up in therapy and it’s been making me feel wonky.”

“Stuff that came up in therapy?”

“Yeah.” Willow looked down and scuffed at the dirt with the toe of her Chuck Taylor.

“I thought something was wrong. You were really antsy yesterday,” Tara tried to get Willow to look back up by putting her brown boot beside the sneaker.

“I was? I didn’t know. I am sorry.” Willow looked up and then pointed toward the academic buildings. “I was thinking that we could go to the theater. I’ve got a key to the shop. Nobody will bother us there.”

_________________
Atlantic Antics
Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 25, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 9:45 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:38 pm
Posts: 70
Very dibsworthy! Great update. I like that Willow is acting on therapy and is gonna talk to Tara. I love that they are spending Thanksgiving together, and I look forward to the story continuing.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Learning To Laugh (August 25, 2019)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 11:07 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:19 am
Posts: 176
Location: Wales
Woo to update, just eagerly waiting to see how the convo goes.

_________________
- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 133 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group