my scribbles (poems and fics)

[mollyig]

Thanks TheWhiz I wrote it early this morning. I actually wrote it as is, didn't tamper with it at all, which is unusal for me. Couldn't think of a title for it though!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[thehighpriestess]

Fantastic - short, simple and so emotional

WILLOW: Where would you go? If you felt lost
and alone? Where would you go?

TARA: To you.

[mollyig]

Thanks so much thehighpriestess I was thinking of adding to it, but decided to leave it as was even though it is only the one verse.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[thehighpriestess]

I think one verse is all it needs to be, to make it longer would take away from it's effect

WILLOW: Where would you go? If you felt lost
and alone? Where would you go?

TARA: To you.

[Drakkenfyre]

Marion, sweetie! Aren't you the daring one now. Writing and not going back. I love it!! The first writings of a poem are usually our best instincts. It is what comes to our hearts and minds first. The pen that writes it is secondary. I love this poem. It speaks volumes with the use of words. A poem doens't have to be long to convey it's message. Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

[ninjitsugrrl]

Mollyig - Love the two newest poems. They are both very dark, but nothing wrong with that especially since they are done so well. You are able to convey so much emotion with your poetry. You rock!

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


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[fudgie9]

Ahh Molly, You've done it again, so few words to convey so much. Wonderful, powerful and emotional as always. Thanks Nicole.

[mollyig]

Hiya Priestess You're right, I'm glad I didn't tamper with it now.



Laura Yes, uncharacteristically daring of me! Sage words there about trusting one's first instincts. Of course I'll probably tweak the next one to bits!



ninjitsugrrl Thanks very much. I had a few lines of lighter poems written, but the dark ones seem to want to be told lately.



Hi Nicole You're very sweet. Thanks kindly. No sign of IG making it your way yet?

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[fudgie9]

Hey Molly, The day I hear Indigo girls are touring trust me you'll hear my shout of excitement in Ireland. *S*. Have a great music filled weekend. Nicole

[Drakkenfyre]

Marion how do you do it? You have this remarkable ability to convey such strong emotions through your words. This poem is a perfect example. In just a mere 4 lines you have summed up the feelings of grief and loss. Well done love, well done.



I especially found this line to be very foretelling:

Vivacious voice replaced with mourning monotone.



Again, I applaud you. My poetic hat is off to you. *bows*

Marvelous sweetie!!!

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

[thehighpriestess]

ditto above

WILLOW: Where would you go? If you felt lost
and alone? Where would you go?

TARA: To you.

[ninjitsugrrl]

Beautiful! I really like the opening line, "Grass green eyes shorn of their sheen." Very effective.

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


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[fudgie9]

Hey Molly, How my heart ached reading this. Yet again you have conveyed so much in so few words. Loved it and look forward to more, maybe even some with titles! *S* Be good and keep writing Nicole

[mollyig]

Thanks Laura, Priestess, ninjitsugrrl and Nicole



That was yet another bus journey poem. I was looking out the window at the grass and seeing how sad it looked with the approach of Autumn, and the first line just appeared.



Can I just call this bus journey poem no. whatever?

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Urn of Osiris]

Wow whatever bus you are riding keep it up.



That was just wonderful. Made me misty in the eyes.



These are so far from scribbles.

Urn of Osiris
_________________**

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."
— George Washington Carver
Voice your opinion about Tara http://www.petitiononline.com/Tara/petition.html

[Scout]

Wow, that captured the pain and loss so well. That’s one of the things I love most about good poetry – the economy of words. So much emotion and meaning expressed in so few lines.



Maybe you can put all the poems inspired by your bus trips together and call them “The Bus Journey Series.” Kind of like the Highwaymen artists in Florida – creating art inspired by the passing scenery.



Thanks!

[mollyig]

Oh a misty-eyed Urn of Osiris wonder what price that would go for an e-bay? Thanks very much. The reason I called the thread scribbles is because they usually start off like that. A line pops into my head and I scribble it on one of my ever-present notebooks, and it progresses (or regresses!) from there.



Hiya Scout. Thanks a lot. Now and again I look at a poem, like this one, and see that its just the one verse and wonder should I try add to it. But I think that the brevity makes it more expressive, so I was happy to see your comment about the economy of words.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[BoredNow99]

Molly, it's about time I replied in this thread, as I read these all through in one sitting the other day.



I love your use of language, particularly the alliteration - which you know I'm a big fan of - and the fact that, like Scout said, you pack so much into a small space.



It's very rich, very lush. Just like good poetry should be.



Those early morning starts to get the bus really are worth their weight in gold

Willow...It's Glenda in a bubble power, not Margaret Hamilton on a bicycle power

[tiredsoul]

Wow, four lines and you just killed me. In a good way of course. This was excellent. And I'm all misty-eyed now as well.



--celia

---------------------------------

"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

[Tara22]

I love all of your stuff!!

I just started reading them today... wow

you're so good!!!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

[TheWhiz]

Wow, that was 4 extremely powerful lines that said so much.

Well done you

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"


"Make your own kind of music"-Mama Cass

[mollyig]

Hiya Em I can't believe you read through all this in one go. Fair play to you! "lush" eh? Well, I like the sound of that, thanks very much o pal of mine!



Celia Thank you kindly - sorry I almost killed ya!



Thanks for the "wow" Tara22 .



Hi Whizkid! Thank you. I think this is one of the few things that isn't Willow-like about me, my economy of words. The other things being of course that I don't have red hair, green eyes . . .

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Tulipp]

Oh, that one just got me, especially the way the last line about being alone is physically separated from the rest of the poem. My throat's all lumpy now. That's it exactly.

***************

"I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail." -- Adrienne Rich.

[TheWhiz]

Oh wow, that was indeed powerful, very cutting- you use such strong words and imagery.

'cheeks chapped by cutting cold'- The alliteration you use is very effective.

Go you!

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"


"Make your own kind of music"-Mama Cass

[BoredNow99]

Hey Moll - loved this one, the images are so vibrant and the emotion is really tangible.



I particularly liked your internal rhymes - tracked and chapped, ache and shaking. I'm always impressed when people can do that.



But mostly I like it because it's raw.

Willow...It's Glenda in a bubble power, not Margaret Hamilton on a bicycle power

[allyson12]

All I can say is 'Wow'. Wonderful and moving. I enjoy reading poetry that strikes a chord within.



-Allyson

"After one take, Joss did say, 'Can we have one that's less like you're going to sleep together in about five minutes?'" - Alyson Hannigan

[Drakkenfyre]

Okay Marion, that's it sweetie!! I have got to get my butt on that bus you ride. This was wonderful! Made me get emotional.*sniffle* Ahem..dragons do not get emotional. Okay, please pass me a tissue.



Wonderful as always sweetie!

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

[fudgie9]

Wow Molly, I always look forward to your poems and I'm never disappointed. Your beautiful words, vivid imagery and raw emotions always move me. This particular poem (Bus trip no?) ending with the double emphasis on the word alone was extremely powerful and heartwrenching. I'm glad you don't drive to work,*S* Thanks Nicole

[mollyig]

Tulipp, once I saw where this one was heading, I intended to have the last line stand out, to emphasise the theme. I'm so glad you picked up on that. Thanks so much.



TheWhiz Thanks very much. Alliteration - ally to all authors!



Hiya Emma! I love internal rhymes - mostly 'cause I'm too lazy to organise the rhyme at the end of the sentence! Ah no, I think its a wonderful way to emphasise the flow of the words. Ta muchly!



Allyson, it pleases me that you describe this as moving. Thanks.



Laura a dragon on my bus might distract me from writing. Plus it might distract the driver, and that wouldn't be good! Thank you, I'm feeling rather smug that I made a dragon emotional!



Hi Nicole yes this was another scribbled whilst on a bus poem. Thanks, and I'm glad I don't drive to work too! Oh, and the cd is on its way!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[ninjitsugrrl]

love it! the last line is especially strong "The black adorned figure stands alone - alone." the repetition of "alone" is very effective.

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


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