Tara and Willow: The Blessed Unrest
Introduction: Originally – for readers who have seen my most recent work – I had intended (and promised) to work on and complete the third part of the Tara and Willow crossover with Raiders for the Nanowrimo 2014.
Didn’t happen.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Raiders idea and the third part is about half written in first draft and I’m actively working on it. I have definite plans to finish off the trilogy (because anything Raiders SHOULD stop after three stories) but I knew that I needed to tell this story instead.
In many ways, this is a departure from my longer Tara and Willow fiction because it’s really only about their relationship in an alternative reality that was – almost – canon (from what we’re told). Well, not quite, but there was a point in time, back in S5 when Tara was almost made something other than a witch in canon. This story is about that possibility…
Anyway, I came to October and I had the idea and I just knew I had to write it. Much changed in the telling, my original ‘plans’ were actually more of a simple idea and I only found what story there is through the process of writing. So it’s almost ‘plot what plot’ but without the hot T/W sex that label is supposed to designate. It also features very little in terms of BTVS characters apart from the first chapter and the aftermath.
In other words, I was indulging myself in the girls, their budding relationship and how wonderful that was. My favourite topic. Oh, and no little teasing, because you knew that’s what must’ve happened.
And naked Tara.
Because, that’s always good.
But it’s not a smut-fic (much as I’ve loved writing the couple of such stories I did once upon a time) and more about characters than anything else. Just not much more than that.
So what we have here is a complete story about another version of canon, what might’ve been but wasn’t – at least in terms of Tara’s background – and my extrapolation of what that might’ve meant (even though it could never have happened in the show like this because… well, sadly it was never the Tara and Willow show!)
So that little idea has turned out to be about 105,000 words long (short by my standards) but a decent novel in length and it will grow a little more in the posting draft process, but it’s all complete and all written – as regular readers will know I like to ensure so as not to leave you hanging when life overtakes me. Won’t take that long to post – at least a part a week - but I’m not going to rush either. The time I take to post this I’m investing in writing the next T/W story I want to complete.
Which, for those who care, is completing Raiders 3 (first draft) as well as thoughts on (Wo)men in Black and an all new story. I’m actually quite excited about that last one, if it turns out as well as I hope. But, basically, I’m tying myself into 3 or 4 T/W stories including this one. Feels like the old days! Should keep me going a year or two!
Title notes: The title of this story comes from the Sara Bareilles album of the same name that I was listening to when I came up with the overarching idea and some of the scenes. I had vague ideas about theming chapters after song titles – or just including them – but that faded away. But I still like the name, so I stuck with it even though it’s not really relevant to the story anymore. I’m sure you can live with it. It’s a wonderful album though, if you’ve never heard it.
Story notes: This entire story was prompted by a throwaway remark from JW (who shall otherwise remain nameless) that was made in an interview from around the time ‘Family’. As such you need to throw away most of what you know think you know about Tara from that, though some of that background is still worked in around the alternative possibility. But this is looking at things a little differently, based on that possibility and starts back at the time of Hush. I won’t be discussing the ‘alternative’ possibility in feedback responses too much until we get into it in the story. Unless someone else does, I which case… sure!
Finally - for the record: I’m a huge believer in Tara and Willow hooking up in the laundry room when they were locked in during Hush. Just because I don’t do that this time around (Chapter 2 shows what happened instead)… doesn’t mean I don’t still believe in it. It’s an AU!!
Title: Tara and Willow – The Blessed Unrest – Chapter One Author: Katharyn Rosser Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story. Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but nothing much apart from the episode ‘Hush’ in S4. And let’s face it, if you’ve not seen that then… what are you doing here? Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here. Summary: This chapter is actually set after the events that are about to be told… It’s a teaser really, to show what we’re moving towards. What questions will need answering. We’ll come back to this time at the very end too. So, in fact, it seems like it must be a chronological sandwich. (I may be the first person to use that description!) Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers. The title ‘The Blessed Unrest’ came from and belongs to Sara Bareilles from the album of the same name. Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show. Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about. Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence. Notes: No more, for this part. I’ve said enough in my notes in the first post. Other than to say, this is fairly short but it’s just a tease - ending on a very teasing note. It’s all about the tease. Get it? Thanks to: It’s traditional, at least for me, to thank the mods and the owner of the board at this point, for continuing to give me somewhere I can share these kinds of stories with people who love similar things. So, this is for all of them (and for releasing this fic from moderation so that I could immediately re-post a modified version!)
AFTER
Sunnydale, 5th November 1999.
“Remember what we said?” Tara asked her.
“Contrary to what some people may think, I can retain information for more than, like, ten minutes,” she replied.
“I never said ten minutes. And you know it. Stop exaggerating.”
It was still difficult to believe that… This.
All this.
People were more… alive. She couldn’t remember being around so many people who felt so alive – so clearly conscious of it – at the same time. The relief was so thick, it seemed like you could just reach out and touch it.
And yet… they weren’t part of that.
Not this time. For them… it was much more distant. The immediacy was gone. The impact was more one of being an observer than a participant.
Most of what happened after dark in this town had always been to the truly unfortunate and… well, them. Usually ‘them’ at the very least while everyone else had just bought into the collective delusion and went on living their lives.
For now though, for right now, all these people were so very, very glad to be alive. Their fellow students. Faculty members too. Still aware on some level of what they’d survived. The horror of the last couple of nights. Maybe they’d started to rationalise already, but they hadn’t nearly forgotten.
Not yet.
At least until they managed to forget, people were all about laughter. Joy. Tears. Hugs and kisses. Most likely some more intimate demonstrations of ‘thank God we’re alive’ in some of the rooms upstairs. And in nine months? Someone would probably notice a spike in births, but by then no one would remember why.
No one except them.
The whole place was just… yeah, there was no other word for it other than ‘alive.’
It was all a little overwhelming, especially after what she and Tara had… well, what they’d been doing. So very different…
What had happened here last night felt like – and was - so long ago? A different experience. A different time even… Weird.
Weirder even than they’d thought the transition would be.
“I remember,” she pointed out, “what this place was like – well – yesterday, I guess. When everyone was afraid. People had been… is vivisected a word? You know, in the past tense? I’ve never had to think about that before…?”
“It’s the only word,” Tara said, slipping a hand into hers. “But not one for right now. What else do you remember?”
“I remember when sometimes you struggled with your words,” Willow said. “I remember that like it was yesterday too.”
“I sometimes - ”
“No, actually you really don’t,” she said. “That’s one thing I can’t remember. The last time you stumbled over your words. Actually, I’m lying. I do. I remember the very last time it happened.”
“And when was that?” Tara asked, curious and she really sounded like she was wrapping her tongue around the words. Testing the hypothesis.
“You know.”
“Oh. Really? Then? Before or after?”
“Before, of course. Remember, you broke me. Not the other way around.”
“Oh. Yeah. Are you sure though?”
No matter what and how long your tongue was doing what it was doing to me, or how tired it might’ve gotten, it definitely was before.
“Every moment of that is imprinted on my mind. Every second. Cos of the more than ten minute memory that I have. You know?”
“For the last time, I never mentioned ‘ten’.”
Before they could take that any further, a girl stepped in front of them. A familiar face, but – despite her boast – she needed to dig deep for the name.
Nicole. Yes, it was Nicole from the Wicca Group where she and Tara had first met. They’d only been there… yesterday? Except it was much longer ago than that. “You two,” Nicole said, holding up her hands for them to stop.
That was her name? Wasn’t it? Nicole? After all, it’d been a while. Yes, Nicole. Definitely.
Almost definitely.
“Umm, hello?” Tara asked.
“You know, those kinds of stereotypes aren’t very helpful,” Nicole said, waving generally at them. No, she meant their hands did she?
“Sorry – we might’ve missed something?” she said, except she really didn’t think they had. Well… not much anyway. That was sort of the point of what they’d been talking about and why they’d had to agree how to approach this.
Nicole looked – significantly – at their joined hands. Yup, that was what she was bothered about. “I’m surprised at you, Lara.”
“Oh?” Tara asked.
She was pleased to see that the other girl looked a little uncomfortable when Tara didn’t buckle and just apologise for something she didn’t even understand. Ha! This is my Tara, not the Lara you thought you knew.
Emphasis on ‘mine’.
“You always seemed so… quiet. I never had you down as ‘out and proud.’ I’m all for everyone being who they are but - ”
Once again, Nicole paused when they showed no sign of buckling.
“Anyway my point is that, well – Lara, not every Wiccan has to be a lesbian. It’s been a rough few days, on everyone, but some – most – of us are perfectly happy with boys. Very happy, in fact. So I just – I hope you can understand that and won’t get all radical on us?”
“Nicole,” Tara said, without even waiting for her to say anything, which she was absolutely ready to do because yesterday she hadn’t been a lesbian and today she was ready to say ‘yes, I am!’
“Yes?” Nicole really did seem confused by the change in Tara. But of course she would. It was only natural.
“First of all, my name’s Tara. With a T.”
To be fair to Nicole, she had the impression that perhaps that was never something Tara had corrected before. Because, well, that Tara had been a little shy. With the shy little smile and the shy… Yeah, the smile was all she needed to remember.
“Oh.”
“And second,” Tara continued, “Really, you don’t need to worry. Because we’re never coming back to your group anyway.” And as if that wasn’t impressive enough, as she said it, Tara made some small gestures with her free hand and Nicole only slowly became aware that there were no less than five books that had originally been in her backpack that were now slowly circling her head.
After the slow awareness, a scream and a respectable turn of speed.
Onwards they went. But after picking the books up and stacking them neatly. Because they were books.
“You were right, baby. She did run away when she saw a real witch.”
“Pay up,” Tara said.
“We didn’t actually bet on that,” she said.
“All the same.”
“Okay, I’ll get it to you. After all, you’ve already got all my money,” she complained. “And then some.” And considering where they’d been, until now that hadn’t seemed to matter at all.
“You’ll find a way to pay me back.”
They quickly found themselves at what – by now – seemed an unfamiliar location. After… Well, Stevenson 214 just didn’t seem… It felt like she needed to knock. Which was ridiculous because… right here in her pocket she had the key and evidently it’d still work because… things weren’t happening the way they’d thought they were.
Knowing Anya had just been up here though, she tried the door first.
It was unlocked, so yes, Buffy was home.
Tara slowed her though, pulling her back before she could cross the threshold. Those beautiful blue eyes said it all. Everything there was to say. In the whole world. But – she kind of got the specific message too. They were expressive that way.
“I know,” she agreed and pushed the door open.
“You know what, Will?” Buffy asked, smiling up at her.
“Just – wow, it’s good to see you, Buffy.” She rushed to her friend and wrapped her arms around her. Kissing her cheek.
“Woah… What – It’s good to see – Oh – hey, that’s a big, tight hug, Will. A Slayer style hug – Have you been working out – What’s wrong? Did something happen? It was just a little creepier than usual, but I got my voice back, screamed and they all went pop! No big… Umm, oh. Hi.”
Buffy had seen Tara and was – presumably – reluctant to say anything in front of a civilian.
Anything more. Because she’d already said enough.
Tara was no civilian though. Not by a long shot. “Who’s your friend, Will?” Buffy asked.
“Buffy, this is Tara,” she said and that just felt inadequate, but… it was how they’d agreed to start. Simple introductions and all that.
“Hi, Tara,” Buffy said, freeing a hand to wave in her direction. “Any time you want to let go, Will, that’s just fine.”
Tara waved right back. With that cute, beautiful smile of hers.
“Tara’s not my friend,” she said.
“Oh – She’s not one of those Wiccans is she? Sorry, I mean, is she one of those Wiccan friends you were telling me all about?”
“Yes. Well, no. We quit a while – we just quit – but yes and no. And yes. Look, the point is, Tara’s not my friend. She’s…”
Willow took a deep breath and then she explained it.
--------------------------
“Guess you owe me another dollar,” Tara said a moment later.
“No. No way. You didn’t have ‘passes out in shock’,” she said, easing Buffy back into the chair to support her.
It probably was a good thing she’d been right next to her at that moment, and it took help to make sure Buffy was comfortable and – you know – not dropped on the floor.
“I had the closest thing. You said she’d be fine,” Tara said.
She shook her head. “No, I said she deals with the unexpected every day. That’s not the same thing. Definitely not what I meant.”
“Does she usually deal with the unexpected like that?” Tara asked as they looked down at the gentle breathing of her unconscious roommate.
“No… That really is unexpected. The world would be in trouble if this was how she dealt with shocks. And after she saved the day – again – too. She must’ve followed through on the plan and killed the Gentlemen.”
“Of course,” Tara allowed, “for her… She only saw you yesterday.”
That was what they had to keep in mind.
For them… Well, it had been longer. Much longer. Like more than a year.
“Didn’t happen on ‘lesbian’ though,” she said. “I said she’d be fine on that point.”
Tara nodded.
“Lesbian, gay-type-lover,” she repeated. “Sorry about that. It’s… kind of clunky as descriptions go.”
“But all true.”
“Yeah, but…”
“What?”
“It doesn’t do you justice though,” she said.
“You told me once that words never could,” Tara said. “So… that’s okay. You got your excuses in first” It came with a kiss too. So, that was even better.
“She was doing really well up to the point where she - pfft,” she said, looking at Buffy.
“I know. She’s your friend though – she should – I mean, I expected her to. Not to pass out, but when you told me about her, I expected her to be happy for whatever made you happy. But…” Tara gestured at the unconscious Slayer. “I guess, maybe it’s because – well, the whole ‘day after’ thing.”
“Uhuh.” That might well be it.
“Lesbian gay-type lovers? I suppose – for some people – that could happen in a night but the other thing, not so much…”
She nodded, convinced of that herself. “You definitely could’ve flipped my coin, honey.”
“Flipped your coin? Really?”
“I’m experimenting with both slang and terminology. Look, I’m going to have to explain this a lot and I can’t have people passing out on me all the time, so… If I can ease them into it with some descriptive, but street-smart linguistics then… I’m all for it.”
“Flipping your coin, that’s probably that’s not very street-smart,” Tara said. “We’re really not. Either of us.”
Willow nodded, seeing her point. “I guess. But whatever you want to call it - I honestly, never saw this coming. It’s just a four letter word. I don’t see why it’d – do… well, this?” She slipped her hand back into Tara’s and squeezed it.
“Wife.”
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_________________ ------------------------- If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.
Chance in *Chance* -------------------------
Last edited by Katharyn on Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:52 am, edited 30 times in total.
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