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[Zooeys_Bridge]

So I've recently discovers some fantastic metas that have really gotten me thinking. I'll post the links and some of my favorite quotations and thoughts, and hopefully a discussion will roll from there!

shadowkat's btvs essays

I draw your attention to two specific essays in particular: Tara/Giles Parallels: Dealing with the Monster
and Willow: The Best Friend

Words of Willow: "Witch", Mirrors and Mommy Issues
and
another essay thing discussing Wil

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"We get a rather chilling look at just how empty Willow’s own home life is. Her mother simply does not see her as a person, but rather as an age group with age-appropriate developmental issues. Willow’s invisibility to her mother explains why Willow thinks she can’t be seen, why she has so little self-awareness about the gap between the mask she wears (age-appropriate good child here, please hug me now!) and the girl she actually is (someone with understandable anger issues and a strong desire to have control and recognition). With parenting like that she can’t possibly have a safe space inside where she trusts that she’s loved for herself. She never was. Ergo the endless masks and re-masks. She never had her real self recognized or reflected back to her. She doesn’t even recognize that that’s what Tara wants to offer her. It also explains why the loss of relationship is so devastating to her — deep down she thinks it is inevitable."
-Sheila, in Gingerbread x

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"Most of all, she’s internalized the expectation of disapproval at the slightest misstep and the need for a cheery exterior at all times. No one will be there for her if she is upset; no one will forgive her if she’s naughty. The fundamental insecurity that Amy has is the same as Willow’s, just that much more direct and powerful in Amy’s case.
It’s not just her mother. It’s everyone. Willow struggles with having a core identity, so she tends to reflect back to people either what she thinks they want, or what they actually are. And people are willing to line up and tell her who they want her to be. They don’t even realize it. She takes over Jenny Calendar’s job and in some respects becomes her, becoming Giles’ confidante, technopagan and Gypsy curse spell-caster. She does magic to impress Giles and to get his attention. She becomes stronger and sexier in part because she thinks that’s what will attract Xander. She ends up taking Tara’s crystal which belonged to her mother, and in some ways symbolically replaces Tara’s mother (whom Tara compared Willow to in one of their first lines together at the end of Hush). Willow is used as a sounding board for the rest of the cast, with Xander not bothering to think how she’d feel about being called a guy, and even Cordelia (!) complaining to Willow about the “Laker girl” cheerleader, because she knows that Willow will listen."

- Words of Willow: “Witch,” Mirrors and Mommy Issues x

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"From Season 1 until roughly Season 4, Willow is the damsel. She’s less of one in Season 3 - when she starts getting better with the magic. Buffy is the superhero. Willow states in Fear, Itself - dressed as Joan of Arc - that she is not Buffy’s sidekick, that she’s a hero too.

In Wrecked, when Buffy visits Willow - Willow explains why she went to Rack’s why she did what she did…”without the magic, I’m just an ordinary girl. I’m no one. You remember what I was like.”

Buffy doesn’t get it though. And she misunderstands what Willow is stating. Buffy sees it as an addiction, something that can be tackled by removing the parpherniala. Just as she sees her craving for Spike as an addiction. In Buffy’s pov - Willow and Buffy are addicted to a substance and if you just avoid the substance or do away with it, everything will be okay. It’s an unreliable point of view."

- Gone, Smashed, and Wrecked - BTVS Meta about Buffy/Spike and Willow and Power x

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"Willow responds to what Tara says - in this way:” I can go off magic. I won’t use magic for an entire month. I don’t need magic.” Note - it is not Tara who is saying that Willow is addicted to magic nor is it the writers, it is Willow who is leaping to that conclusion. Willow is not addressing why she is using magic. Tara states that Willow is using magic to make the world work the way she wants it to. She does not say you are addicted to it because it makes you feel good. Willow leaps to that conclusion. Willow thinks it is an easy fix - I can just stop. So Tara, uncertain what to think, says, give it one week and we’ll see. Willow doesn’t last a day…she does the spell to make both Tara and Buffy forget, but she’s not careful about it - she screws it up and causes everyone to forget and to forget the wrong things like anything that they are worried about or makes them feel bad about themselves. What she does is exactly what Tara is talking about. This behavior is what is scaring Tara. And it blows up in Willow’s face just as Tara feared it would. What Tara doesn’t know - is Willow was doing this type of magic and for those reasons long before she ever met Tara. Magic is how Willow escapes herself, how she deals with problems. If OZ leaves? She does a spell. If OZ loves Veruca? Do a spell. If she is lusting after Xander? Do a spell."

-Tabula Rasa/OMWF Meta x

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"Willow’s reaction to OZ’s departure is the polar opposite of Buffy’s. Buffy leaves town when Angel is killed. She retreats from herself and everyone else. Willow does the opposite, she unleashes and vents her emotions. Buffy inadvertently sends herself to hell.(Anne) Willow inadvertently sends everyone else. (Something Blue). As Buffy states to Giles in Wild at Heart, I just hope Willow doesn’t go to hell like I did. Willow doesn’t, she does the opposite. Showing how the alternative - unleashing our pain on others is no more effective than internalizing or running away from it….. Buffy’s internalized pain is shown through the metaphor of the zombies or as Xander states - you can’t just bury things Buffy, they have a way of rising up and attacking you. Willow’s externalized pain is shown through the metaphor of her magic, when the spell she casts to wipe away her pain only unleashes it on everyone else."

- Willow’s function in Btvs: The Best Friend x

I love this idea, that Buffy/Willow : Internal/External

[Zooeys_Bridge]

"The side-kick will often challenge the hero’s choices, while the best friend normally supports them, almost unconditionally. The best friend aids the hero, empowers them emotionally and spiritually. Willow does this via her witchcraft on numerous occasions - including Becoming, Choices, The Gift, Weight of The World, Showtime, and Primeval.

The symbolism of Willow grabbing Tara’s hand in HUSH to keep the Gentleman from entering their hiding place - also represents how Willow helps Buffy. Whenever Buffy needs an additional wallop of strength she stretches her hand out to Willow. Or ... whenever Willow needs strength, Buffy stretches her hand out to Willow.

It is Willow who supports Buffy when Giles, Xander, and Faith turn against her for hiding Angel from them in Revelations. And Willow is the one who brings Buffy literally back to life in Bargaining. Willow also heals Buffy of the poison in Normal Again. It is Willow’s significant other, Tara, who comforts Buffy during Dead Things and informs Buffy that there is nothing wrong with her. The Best Friend provides the spiritual support. When the best friend removes that support - the heroine is weakened...

Willow, as Buffy’s best friend, represents Buffy’s spiritual heart. Buffy’s relationship with Willow over the years demonstrates Buffy’s compassion and ability to choose less violent ways to solve problems. Willow will often be the one who finds the compassionate way of dealing with a problem. In seasons 1-5, Willow pushes for non-violent methods. It’s when Willow becomes violent and stops being compassionate that Buffy starts to lose track. This first happens in Season 5, in Tough Love, when Willow stops listening to her heart and gives into the power to attack Glory..."

- Willow's function in btvs: The Best Friend x

[Zooeys_Bridge]

ok last one for now

"In Family, Tara’s family shows up and insists she return with them , basically becoming the surrogate mother/slave. They tell her that she will be revealed as a disgusting demon by the time she reaches 20 just like her mother was. The witch inside her is a demon and this is the part of Tara that she has been struggling to hide beneath a geeky exterior. (Interesting side note - Willow is doing the reverse - Willow is trying to hide the geek beneath the monster, so is Spike for that matter. Both Willow and Spike are ashamed of the inner geek, they can’t imagine anyone loving it. So they allow the monster to surface and remain in control. Unlike Giles and Tara - they prefer the monster. It protects them, empowers them. The geek is what scares them. The geek is weak.

The moment Tara confesses what she’s done - they forgive her. They forgive her for having a monster inside. She is accepted as part of their family. Giles has the same reaction when he confesses his sins in The Dark Age, Buffy tells him to forgive himself. Jenny eventually does. As a result neither Giles nor Tara are afraid of the rejection that their monsters will cause. They see the danger, but are no longer ashamed of what they are. Why? Because they’ve forgiven themselves and having accepted the danger that resides in them, are able to exert some sort of control over it. Tara like Giles uses magic sparingly. They both have a deep respect for the damage it can do, because it has almost destroyed them both in the past. The difference between Tara /Giles and Willow, is they were never trying to hide the “geek”, they were trying to hide the “monster”. A monster both have on occasion associated with magic.

Giles and Tara leave because they know that sometimes you have to face your monster alone. Giles feels he is allowing Buffy to cling to her childhood, to ignore her monster, to stay arrested in that period between life and death, forever a child. While Tara believes that staying only enables Willow to continue to use the monster to hide the geek. It is ironic really - Willow believes Tara would hate the geek, but it’s not the geek Tara fears, it’s the monster that Willow refuses to acknowledge, the monster she sees Willow becoming. It’s the reverse of Tara’s old dilemma; Tara was afraid of the monster."

- Tara/Giles Parallels: Dealing with the Monster x



Now, I actually have thoughts to this one.


while I find this analysis fascinating, I’m not necessarily sure it works that neatly. Willow doesn’t have a “monster,” she has feelings she doesn’t understand and unhealthy ways of understanding the world around her because of how she’s been taught. yes, willow tries to hide under geek. she uses it to her advantage, but she’s never entirely comfortable or proud of it given it’s who she was before she met buffy and she didn’t like that version of herself. the one who had no friends, who was too afraid to stand up for herself or take control of her life. from the moment buffy enters her life, it becomes about control. over what she can do, these new choices she can suddenly make, to change the powerless person she was before.

like buffy says, it’s about power. willow’s strong reaction to the fight she and tara have in S6 about the magic use relate 150% back to the fight in S5. Not because it’s the same fight, it isn’t really. (the first time, i actually don’t think willow’s magic use was out of control at all and i actually don’t think tara brought it up the proper way.) what willow’s S6 actions relate to is the consequences of that fight. willow and tara had a fight. they separated. tara got attacked by Glory. willow nearly lost tara. willow plays by the rules of their world and constantly loses against the expectations piled upon her.
it ultimately brings us back to the point raised in this meta, which is

“But the real problem with Willow is not that it is dangerous to have her near power. Power is dangerous and corrosive, yes, yes. But the real issue is that she has no model, whatsoever, for how to be powerful and “good.”

(emphasis mine)

for willow, she equates weakness with powerlessness and uselessness. when she can do more powerful magics, she’s more useful and therefore a better person. yes, xander has no powers, but he’s a man and a fairly decent sized one at that so at least more skilled at combat. willow is a wisp, she can’t even fight. willow equates a fight with Tara or a fight with Buffy to always have devastating consequences. if there’s a fight, willow did something wrong and therefore she gets punished. it’s how she was raised, neglectfully and ignored, so it’s no wonder she has these underdeveloped ways of dealing with life. every time she and tara have an argument, or even try/start to, something bad happens. they might have been completely unrelated, but for willow, they’re compounded into the same action/reaction sphere. you fight, something bad happens. you fight, they get hurt.

without the darker, more powerful magics, the world would have ended back in S5. if willow didn’t travel into Buffy’s mind and release her from her catatonia after Dawn was captured, if willow didn’t weaken Glory by restoring tara’s sanity, Glory would have had her Key and boom- world endy.
and then the scoobies are left with the aftermath of trying to continue the Slayer’s fight with no Slayer, so who steps up to become the Big Gun? who’s the only real powerful person to take over? willow. As Tara says, even Xander chose it:

XANDER: “Excuse me? Who made you boss of the group?”
ANYA: You did.
TARA: You said Willow should be boss.
ANYA: And then you said “let’s vote,” and it was unanimous….
TARA: ….and then you made her this little plaque, that said “Boss of Us”, you put little sparkles on it….

if we ignore how adorable this is, (I’m sorry, I can’t help but imagine little toddlers Xander and Willow in art class together- Xander gluing his fingers together, Willow giggling and helping him to the sink…c’mon, that’s precious) it really speaks to one half of the larger problem. Yes, Willow may have made some bad choices, letting her issues with control and power blind her judgement. But the Gang, through perhaps with legitimate need and reason, helped pushed her towards it and didn’t stop to take responsibility for that when it got out of control. Willow was always left on her own to deal with the magic - from the very beginning in high school, teaching herself spells. The Scoobies always blindly accepted the help Willow was offering, without questioning, without looking.

Tara was the last of her innocence, Tara was her platform to magical competence. Tara was her safe place to grow stronger. But when Tara got attacked by Glory, that’s when Willow realized ok, if I want to be able to really help out here, I need to up my game. She may not have done it the best way, with the dark magics, but that innocent time of her life was over. Before, when she used the magic to emotionally manipulate people, it was accidental (Something Blue, etc;) Afterwards, it comes as a choice. Because Willow’s followed the rules and in the world of the Slayer, they constantly shift and break and Willow can’t catch up fast enough. But everyone leaves her on her own eventually to deal with it.

[foxycas]

These are great and interesting to read!


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk - now Free

[Zooeys_Bridge]

Apparently some of the quotes I posted break KB rules, oops, so I encourage people to go through and read the meta on your own and please please please PM me if you'd like to strike up a conversation or share thoughts about anything past the end of Seeing Red (because I think that's where things get interesting).

[Zooeys_Bridge]

Ok so now I have my own thoughts to add, and I'm pretty sure it's all KB-compliant

So I want to talk about magic and Willow, the period where she goes from competent to powerful and why, and how it gets her lost.

Willow’s role throughout the show changes more frequently than any other character* and as such it gets her into some trouble. Granted, Willow’s got her personality traits that play into this: recklessness (like Xander though, this is not always a fault), manipulative, controlling, but also bravery, intelligence, loyalty, and strength. But her traits are not the only root to her problems. Yes, they’re huge factors, but others come into play as well. It’s the mix of the two that cause her downfall.

In particular I’m thinking about the character development and action in Season 5 that leads to Season 6.

Throughout the early half of Season 5, we see Willow’s skills develop as a witch. No longer is she struggling to float a pencil or get soupy potions. Right at the get go of the season, she effortlessly makes fire (while she hasn’t mastered it yet - see her comment about balancing the elements and the following immediate rainstorm) she’s obviously improved greatly. But, her attitude about magic isn’t yet out of control here. She doesn’t take cavalier attitudes (except as could be interpreted in “Shadow” when Willow appears interested to help Joyce through magic.)

She does no overly powerful spells - either with Tara or by herself - nothing on a different level from what we’ve already seen her do (Angelus’ resouling spell aside, which is a whole other bag of beans) until the second half of the season. We do, however, get an inkling of Willow’s changing attitudes in regards to witchcraft when she pulls out the book for Dawn on resurrection spells following Joyce’s death. Though not fully formulated at this point, it hints that she’s willing to use magics to alter life to ease one’s pain. This is the moment that sends warning bells ringing in Tara’s ears and she confronts Willow about it in Tough Love. Getting defensive (but not unjustly so), Wilow manipulates the argument from use of her magics to questions about her sexuality and dedication to Tara, both of which I think she knows are ridiculous and don’t hold any weight. It’s an entirely weird argument, I don’t think Tara doubts Willow’s love for her at all and neither does Willow about Tara’s. Nor, do I believe, Willow was acting that recklessly in use of magics, though her attitude towards it is something that’s obviously rightfully foreshadowed and “Forever” is where that starts.

What I think Tara is concerned about (but wasn’t really expressed well on the show) is that Willow has gotten extremely powerful in just a few short years. I mean, c’mon, her first successful spell was resouling a freaking vampire. Magical practitioners who train for years couldn’t do that. It foreshadows her power. But right now, mid-S5, Will’s not quite there yet. In a bit we’ll take a closer look at the specific moments where we get from Willow who concentrates to start a fire to a Willow who can summon things from the air, raise the dead, etc;

I’ve already talked about Tough Love and Willow’s reactions somewhat in this post, so I don’t want to repeat too much of that. Instead I wanted to move forward from that, into Willow’s deliberate choices afterwards.

The first time we see Willow’s eyes go black is at the end of Tough Love when she goes after Glory. It’s…not a smart move. But Willow also knows this. She’s smart, she knows going up against a God is foolhardy, but it’s not about winning the fight. It’s about making one. It’s about releasing all of her own pain and anger onto someone else, which is something Willow does on multiple occasions. (See this interesting meta about the Buffy/Willow == internal/external dynamics) Here, Willow is reckless because she can, because she’s hurting, because no one needs her. Tara’s gone, Buffy and Giles are still the leaders of the pack and no one’s counting on her.

When Willow runs to the Magic Shop and tears apart the shelves looking for the dark magic books, she’s not messing around. She knows exactly what she’s doing. As we know, she’s very smart. This moment I think echoes into the climax of S6, when on her rampage Willow says to Buffy, “I’m not coming back.” I think this is that first moment. This is when it happens. There’s no hesitation in her movements when she takes the axe and smashes open the book, not even a flicker in her eye. Right here, Willow expects to not come back from what she’s about to do. This moment and the one in S6 are effectively one and the same. It was her magics that failed to save Tara in time - not getting there fast enough, not being able to remember the words (or needing to remember the words at all), before Glory left Tara blank and empty on the bench. That dreadful sense of helplessness fuels Willow from that moment until the end of the series. And knowing she had the power to change that, that she didn’t have to be helpless is what changes from here on out.

But Buffy does save her from Glory in time. And from there, the choices seem easier- easier to justify, easier to make- because from now on Willow isn’t reckless. She turns to the same dark magics and ups the power, ups the risk, ups the danger, because the entire world and her friends are counting on her.
And in the next two episodes, “Spiral” and “Weight of the World”, everything changes.

This is when Willow pushes herself because she realizes she has to. Because if she doesn’t, everything will literally fall apart and be destroyed. The lines are much easier to recognize when they’re life and death, when the choice is to do black magic to put up a barrier against a god or die. Willow’s shown to be willing to put herself in harm’s way for the greater good - pushing herself with the teleportation spell in 5.13 despite headaches and nosebleeds, and using whatever means necessary to protect and help them all later on, even if it’s dark magics.

In 5.20 “Spiral”, after the gang barely makes it to the abandoned building, they’re immediately attacked. As flaming arrows come flying into the walls, all Buffy does is shout “Willow!” and she erects a barrier for protection. No questions asked. It needs to be done. Her eyes are black. And when Glory tries to leave, Willow delves back into the dark magics again and thickens the barrier.

In 5.21 “Weight of the World”, Willow steps up and leads. She does so calmly and decisively, giving jobs to everyone, coming up with a plan. She gets them to save themselves and then she’ll save Buffy because that’s what Willow does. It’s in S5 that Willow proves she’s not a sidekick. She’s a peer.
Something I find interesting in 5.21 is the scene with Anya before Willow goes into Buffy’s mind. Here, Anya expresses true concern at what Willow’s about to do. Not because it’s the wrong thing to do but because it’s dangerous and she’s worried for Buffy and Willow’s safety. It’s a solemn transaction, one where Anya is uncharacteristically soft and gentle and it’s because she’s afraid. It was a too-short moment that hinted at a potential friendship that never happened on the show.

The spell Willow does to reach Buffy isn’t dark - her eyes never change color, the main indicator of dark magics on the show. It is, however, powerful and rather unknown. Willow hacks spells the way she hacked computers. (e.g.; the teleportation spell in 5.13 “Still working out the kinks.”) It’s not an established spell, and not an insignificant one either. Time and time again in S5 alone, Giles remarks at Willow’s abilities at doing spells far beyond her level. He does so in 5.13 when Willow does the teleportation spell on Glory and again in 5.21 when she psychically reaches Buffy, “Its extraordinarily advanced.” Unlike the last advanced spell she tried - only 8 episodes ago - Willow suffers no physical repercussions. No nosebleeds, no headaches.

I’m going to skip ahead here - Buffy comes out of the coma, blah blah, Willow restores Tara’s mind, yay yay, Dawn bleeds, sad sad, Buffy beats Glory, yay yay, but Buffy dies, sad sad, Buffy’s alive again (again), yay yay - and now it’s Season 6.

From the moment Willow steps up in “Spiral”, she holds onto that control for a while, give or take three months. Buffy’s return after her coma is short lived because by the end of the day, she’s dead. But when Buffy comes back for real, Willow’s no longer in charge again. She’s lost her control, the one she sacrificed so much of herself to achieve. So what does Willow do? She makes bad choices, ones that might have been clearer to make or not not make with need, with reason. But the need for Willow’s power and Willow’s control diminishes once Buffy comes back and Willow doesn’t know how to relinquish the control she does have. She has no guide for this. Her desire to help overpowers her sense of whats right and wrong and so the lines blur. For Willow, like Giles, (remember Eyghon?), it started out by the ends justifying the means. But in the end, the means end up controlling and blinding her. The magic is conflated into her emotional issues - her need for love, for purpose, for control, etc;
What’s interesting to think about here is that Willow’s greatest fear was not having control of the magics- S3’s “Fear, Itself” taught us that. Not only was she afraid of losing control, but also that she’d be useless to help. Weak. When Buffy calls Willow out for only being 50/50 in the magic department, she gets angry. “I’m not your sidekick!” Willow doesn’t want to be the damsel in distress. She wants to help. The rest of the episode taunts her for not being able to do the magics needed to help them. Her helpful firefly lights attack her and drive her away, literally taunting her.

Willow is good because she understands her place. She’s not Buffy’s sidekick, but she stands by her side. But when Buffy’s gone, when Willow has to take Buffy’s place and take over her responsibilities, she does so without complaint, without expecting anything in return. That was the choice she made back at the end of S3 in Choices. Willow made her choice. But when Buffy comes back in S6, Willow doesn’t understand exactly what new role she’s supposed to resume. It’s not the same one as before - she’s much more capable and strong than she was before, magically speaking.

That’s where it really starts to unravel. Where her attitude about magic becomes completely cavalier, the lines having broken down and grown more confusing over the course of a few months. Don’t get me wrong, the potential for Willow’s descent into darkness was always there - she’d been manipulative in other ways beforehand - but we can see how it’s not always so simple. How if things had been different, Willow might not ever have made the choices she did, or she might have recognized them sooner, or a million other things. Willow’s not right. But the blame doesn’t lay solely with her either.

Giles should have recognized the road Willow was walking down. He’d headed down there himself. Despite watching her immense growth, he never intervenes or tires to guide her at all, until it’s too late. Until she’s already a “rank, arrogant amateur”. Giles was a Watcher and he wasn’t Watching. He ignored. Giles was afraid. Giles was a coward. Giles should have helped.

Buffy needed and Buffy got. But Buffy never stopped to look at what it was doing to Willow. (Buffy was also kinda dead and seriously, legitimately depressed so we can cut her some slack for her inaction, but understanding doesn’t entirely excuse the behavior either.)

Xander should have seen. That’s what he does best. He knows his Willow. And yet he didn’t see what was happening.

Tara was afraid. Tara loved. Probably too much. Tara knew better. She tried, but not hard enough. (Raised as a witch with respect and balance towards magic and yet we never saw her try to slow things down) But, Tara also recognized what was happening long before anyone else. Tara knows her Willow. And Tara was strong enough to not let Willow abuse her anymore and so she leaves. That alone was action in the face of seasons long inaction. It ultimately wasn’t enough though, because no one saw and peeled back the issues under it all and that’s when it all explodes at the end of S6 because Willow was never forced to confront herself and her issues. (Note: she should have. That’s what all the magic development lead to but instead the writers buried it under “magic = addicting” which was an awful and useless metaphor, completely detracts from the real issues, and takes an entirely different perspective in the season-which-shall-not-be-named so wtf was the point?)

So moral of the story is there’s a lot going on that gets Willow from having enough power to floating pencils to ending the world and Willow isn’t alone in all of it, though she was often treated as such. She looses her way in small steps, because Buffy needed a Big Gun so she became one. There was no one to lead, so she did. And after building up to all that, the boundaries are all different and everything changes again on her. She doesn’t know how to go back. She can’t go back. And so she stumbles messily forward and gets lost on the way.



*Spike admittedly also has many different roles when it comes to the Scoobies, but he was never - and would never consider himself- one of them. that much is clearly established. so while his role changes, his relationship, for the most part, to them does not. this is not the case with Willow.