Update
Title - An Everyday Life Author name – beautiful_love a.k.a. Jessica Rating – PG Disclaimer - I don't own these characters. Feedback - Yes please! I need it! Summary- Totally AU - Tara meets Willow - the happy bumblings of falling in love - I'm not too good at this summary thing. Notes: Thanks to Ariel for beta-ing this for me. What can I say? This has been such a long time between posts and real life needs to get its own life and leave me alone so I can keep posting at a decent pace right? Probably not but I hope you guys enjoy this slightly fluffy chapter. Thanks for reading.
Previously: “No really. I’m so lucky to have you. You’re just…” Willow trailed off, wanting to go on and on about the wonder that was Tara but finding that she couldn’t do the blonde justice. The words just didn’t exist to describe how amazing Tara made her feel. You don’t need to describe it to her Willow. The only words that matter are… “I love you Tara.”
Tara stared back into the amazing green that she could still make out, even in the darkened room, feeling her heart completely swell with the love she had for this woman.
“And I’m not saying that just because I want you say it back. I don’t want you to say it if you’re not ready. And I totally understand if you’re not. I mean, I want you to be totally sure before you say it. And I just said it now because, well I’m sure. You are the most incredible woman in the world and I do love you. I love you more than I can possibly even begin to describe. And I just want you to know that. I want you to really know the truth about how I feel. I don’t want to hide it anymore. I don’t want to hide anything and especially not this. And I’m not trying to make you feel all pressured here because that’s not what this is. It’s not pressure. It’s just me being honest. So don’t think you have to say it back just because I said it. No. No, don’t do that. I didn’t mean it like that. I-” Her babble was finally stopped when she felt Tara’s lips softly brush against hers for a moment before the blonde lay back on her pillow, her eyes never leaving Willow’s.
“I love you too Willow.”
Chapter Thirty Six
Willow flexed her fingers and tore her gaze away from the laptop in front of her. She looked out the window from her seat at the kitchen table, watching the sun hover along the horizon, spilling hues of red and gold on the distant landscape that surrounded Tara’s apartment. She took a sip from the quickly warming lemonade to her right and continued to stare outside, smiling as she felt the peaceful moment completely overtake her. It was one of the few she’d had lately; so serene and calm. It was just… Perfect, she thought with a smile. And after three weeks of work, work and more work, it’s nice to have a peaceful moment. It had been exhausting three weeks. She’d spent her days working non-stop on the new projects coming across her desk and her nights pecking away at her laptop, trying to keep up with all the new responsibilities her new job entailed. Luckily most of those nights I’ve had a cute blonde sitting next to me, she thought with a smile, turning back to her laptop and smiling at her screensaver. Tara had taken the liberty of changing it from the boring mystifying lines that Willow had always used to a collage of Teddy Ruxpin pictures that the blonde had quickly created one morning while Willow was still asleep. She’d been unable to stop smiling at it that day at work. That had been two weeks ago; only a week after Tara’s discharge from the hospital and a day after she’d had gotten permission to stop wearing her sling and start her physical therapy.
The accident had been fresh in Willow’s mind since Tara’s release from the hospital. She was the one who had volunteered to get Tara’s belongings from her totaled Civic a few days after her discharge from the hospital and the image of the crushed and mangled car sitting in the middle of the tow yard was enough to bring her to tears. Since that day she often found herself stopping in the middle of work, the image of Tara broken and battered atop the crisp, white hospital sheets popping into her head. The first few times this had happened she’d immediately stopped what she was doing to phone Tara and make sure her girlfriend was still ok. But after the first week, and constant reassurance from Tara, she’d forced herself to move her mind away from the image and resume whatever task she’d been working on. Of course that wasn’t easy. But it didn’t seem that she was alone in her feelings. Everyone seemed to be constantly checking on her girlfriend. And Tara was constantly reassuring everyone that she was perfectly fine. It seemed backwards to Willow. She’s the one who was hurt. Why is she so quick to be the comforting party in all of this? I mean she’s been through hell and she just brushed it all off like it was no big deal.
She heard the shower turn off from the bathroom, bringing her out of her thoughts, and then saved the program she was working on. She looked up just in time to see Tara emerge from the steaming bathroom, her hair pulled back, a fluffy, white towel hanging loosely around her torso. The blonde strode the few steps to her bedroom, pushing the door halfway closed behind her but not bothering to latch it. Willow could see her girlfriend’s shadow dancing across the hallway carpet as she carefully pulled on her clothes for the night. Since she’d been out of her sling Tara was insistent on doing pretty much everything on her own without Willow or Faith’s assistance. They had both tried day in and day out to help her when it appeared she was struggling, but Tara was… Stubborn as hell, Willow thought, shaking her head in frustration but allowing a small smile to play out on her face. If her girlfriend was anything lately, it was determined. She’d been attending her physical therapy sessions and pushing herself to the absolute limit of exhaustion, convinced she could get healthier faster with the extra exertion. Both Faith and Willow, and even Buffy to a lesser extent, had tried to persuade her to take it easy, but Tara could not be deterred. She had just gone back to work a few days before and Willow had become immediately alarmed when she saw how tired her girlfriend was after her first day back. But Tara just brushed it off, saying she had to go back soon or later. Stubborn, Willow thought again, looking up as her girlfriend entered the kitchen, the tip of her ponytail still damp from the shower.
“Feel better?” Willow asked.
“Much. I’ve been sitting in my office, smelling like cinnamon latte since three o’clock this afternoon,” Tara said as she made her way through the kitchen, popping two pieces of bread into the toaster that had been left out that morning from Willow’s English muffin. At least she’s eating. I swear she’s lost ten pounds since the accident, Willow thought, looking up to see her girlfriend’s lips moving and realizing she’d missed what Tara had said.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said the guy that spilled on me offered to pay my dry cleaning bill but I’m pretty sure they’d have to cut the stains out of that blouse.” Willow watched as Tara leaned to the left, resting all her weight against the counter, using her right foot to scratch the back of her left calf.
“You could’ve told him to just give you cash,” Willow suggested with a shrug. Tara turned back to her girlfriend but only smiled, saying nothing more about the afternoon spillage at Starbucks. Willow turned back to her computer and went through her emails once more, making sure she’d taken care of everything that needed to be done before Monday’s meeting with her boss. She was about to close out of everything when a new request popped up from one of the project managers. “Damn it,” she sighed softly.
“What’s wrong?” Tara asked, pulling the freshly popped bread from the toaster and smothering it with jam.
“Nothing. Just more work keeps piling on by the minute. It feels like I’m never going to get caught up at this rate,” Willow answered, focusing on the screen in front of her.
“You’ll get caught up sweetie,” Tara said as she sat down in the seat next to Willow’s and grabbed the Arts and Leisure section from the Sunnydale Press. “And if not you can just fire everyone so they stop sending you work.” Willow chuckled at the joke and looked up to see Tara’s half smile gracing her lips, her eyes still focused on the paper. Willow fixed her gaze on Tara, watching with extreme interest as the blonde’s eyes scanned along the newspaper in front of her. It still intrigued her that watching Tara do the most mundane things fascinated her so much. She’d never had this much interest in watching anyone else she’d dated. There was just something about Tara that drew her in like a magnet. Even the way Tara reached for the half triangle of jam covered toast, taking a small bite and chewing slowly. Willow smiled at the small glob of jelly that clung, undetected to Tara’s bottom lip. God I love her.
Tara finished chewing and looked up as she was turning to the next section of the newspaper, catching Willow’s stare. “What?”
Willow just shrugged and leaned across the corner of the table, her hand cradling Tara’s chin, and captured Tara’s lips with her own. Mmm. Strawberry, she thought with one more peck to Tara’s now clean lips.
“You taste yummy,” Willow said, taking a little joy in the faint flush covering Tara’s cheeks. Despite the flush of embarrassment Willow watched with amusement as Tara bit softly at her bottom lip, her eyes half lidded as she started at Willow’s own lips.
Uh oh. Willow smiled meekly and sat back in her chair, pretending to turn her focus back to her laptop. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Tara sporting a disappointed look before returning to her paper. Well that was an easy secession, Willow thought still staring at her monitor without focusing. Probably the quickest she’s backed down since she left the hospital. This definitely wasn’t the first time she’d avoided an intimate moment with Tara lately. And while it was proving harder and harder to avoid Tara’s obvious advances, she’d somehow been able to pull it off. Yeah, at the cost of seeing that pout far more than I ever wanted to. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to take things any further beyond a peck here and there. It was driving her crazy, keeping her hands to herself. But it’s the right thing to do. She’s not ready yet. She could get hurt again or something and if I was the one that hurt her, it would kill me. And not only would she be hurt but she’d probably be mad at me. Then I’d have to-
The sound of the front door dead bolt turning followed by a quiet curse brought her attention back in focus and she turned to see Faith struggling to enter the apartment, weighed down by a duffle bag, a shoulder satchel and two cardboard boxes. Two steps into the apartment Faith kicked the door shut and dropped her arms, letting the boxes hit the floor, followed by the bags only a second later.
“You ok Faith?” Willow asked from her seat.
Faith looked up, noticing for the first time that the apartment was not empty and gave a dismissive wave.
“Yeah, fine. What are you two up to?” she asked as she stepped into the kitchen and immediately poked her head into the fridge.
“Nothing. What’s all that stuff?” Tara asked, pointing to the overturned cargo in the hallway.
“Nothing,” Faith said with a shrug, gulping down a swig of orange juice straight from the carton. “Just got a lot to do this weekend. Plus I had to empty my stuff out of my locker at the gym. It was getting pretty rank in there.”
“Ew.” Willow didn’t even realize the word had escaped her mouth until she caught both girls staring at her, Tara smiling and Faith furrowing her brow even further. “Sorry,” she said, turning back to her computer.
“You’re not seeing Buffy tonight?” Tara asked as she turned fully in her chair, gingerly rubbing her neck as she did. Faith just shrugged as she downed another gulp of juice, draining the last of the carton. “Everything ok?” Tara pressed.
“Five by five,” Faith said in an even tone with another shrug. She tossed the empty carton into the trashcan and moved back towards her pile in the hallway. Willow turned and watched as she carefully stacked everything in her arms again and moved out of sight. A moment later the sound of Faith’s bedroom door clicking closed echoed through the silent kitchen. Willow turned her attention to Tara, her eyes full of questions but Tara just shook her head.
“Don’t ask. I have no idea what’s bugging her,” Tara said, turning back in her chair and refocusing on the newspaper in front of her. “She was fine this morning when she called me at work.”
“Should you um, maybe go check on her?” Willow asked.
“No. I-I mean, I know that sounds cruel. She’s my best friend and she’s obviously upset about something but that’s just Faith. If you try to help her before she’s ready, she’ll just push you away.” Tara lifted her gaze to meet Willow’s and Willow could see the underlying concern etched deep in the seas of blue. Carefully, she reached out and wrapped her fingers around the tips of Tara’s, peeking out from her cast. “She’ll talk when the time’s right.”
“Do you think it has something to do with Buffy? Like maybe they had a fight or something? Or maybe Buffy did something to make Faith mad and she didn’t realize it? Or vice versa?”
“Maybe,” Tara answered, her gaze now lingering on their intertwined fingertips. Willow allowed her gaze to meet the same sight and smiled as she realized she’d unconsciously been running her thumb along Tara’s. She leaned forward and placed a light kiss against her girlfriend’s knuckles, feeling warmth spread through her chest when Tara smiled gently back at her. “Why don’t you call her and check in?”
“You sure you don’t mind?” Willow asked. Tara just shook her head and leaned in, letting her forehead rest against Willow’s.
“It’s going to nag at you for the rest of the night if you don’t.” She leaned in further, leaving a light peck on Willow’s lips before pulling away and returning to her paper and evening snack as if nothing had happened.
Grateful for the understanding, Willow quickly grabbed her cellphone from its spot next to her laptop and selected Buffy’s name from her list of favorite contacts. She listened intently as the phone rang three times before Dawn answered, her tone entirely too full of excitement.
“Will! Oh my gosh, where have you been? Did you already move in with Tara without me knowing about it?”
“Hey Dawnie,” Willow said with a roll of her eyes. “Someone really needs to teach you about proper phone etiquette.”
“Sorry. I’m just excited to talk to you! I feel like I haven’t seen you in months.”
“Well, I’ve been busy with work and stuff.”
“Uh huh. Stuff like snuggles with a certain blonde?” Willow could hear the teasing tone in the younger Summers’ voice but wasn’t in the mood to indulge her at the moment.
“So does Buffy know you’re answering her phone?”
“She left it here on the counter and went for a run like half an hour ago. Which I thought was weird because she already went for a run this morning before work. And really who needs to run that much. I mean -”
“Dawn!” Buffy’s voice rang loud and clear through the phone.
Willow sighed partly in fear at the scolding she knew her best friend was about to give the younger Summers and partly in relief that her fascinating talk with Dawn was about to be over. She heard Dawn attempt to cover the phone’s mouthpiece and the muffled quick argument that followed before Buffy picked up a minute later.
“You still there Will?”
“Yeah, I’m still here. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to bother you or anything. I just wanted to call and check in. I haven’t seen you much this week what with me being with Tara so much and you with Faith so I just wanted to make sure everything was ok. So how is everything? Anything new? Exciting? Any riveting stories of rollicking adventures?” From the corner of her eye Willow saw the smirk Tara was giving her but chose to ignore it.
“Did you have one too many mochas again Will? I’ve told you and told you, you need to limit yourself. One day you’re mouth’s just going to take off on its own and who knows where it will end up.”
“What? No. No, not too many mochas. I only had one today, I swear and it was this morning so that sugar high is way over. I just… well I just wanted to make sure everything was ok… with you and… you know, Faith and stuff.”
Willow watched Tara look up at her curiously, waiting for any clue that Faith’s sour mood was related to Buffy in any way.
“Yeah, of course. I’m fine.”
“What about Faith? You guys ok?”
“We’re great,” Buffy said, pausing for a moment. “And yeah, Faith’s ok.”
Red light, Willow thought as she leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table.
“Just ok?”
“Well, she’s got some stuff going on but… it’s really not my place to talk about it Will.”
“But it’s nothing to do with you?” Willow looked up and met Tara’s eyes, shaking her head when Buffy once again answered that they were doing fine. Tara just shrugged and folded up the newspaper in front of her.
“How’s Tara?”
“She’s good,” Willow answered as she watched Tara rise from the table with her now empty plate. She watched, fascinated as the blonde carefully rinsed the crumbs down the sink and placed the dish in the half full dishwasher before moving down the hallway and into the bathroom. See, totally mundane and I can’t keep my eyes off her.
“Will!”
“Huh?”
“I asked how her therapy was going? She still pushing herself so hard?”
“Oh, yeah. She was really sore after the last session yesterday but she just keeps pushing through it. She wants so badly to get better.”
“She still doesn’t remember anything about the accident?” Willow could hear the sadness in Buffy’s voice and quickly looked up to make sure Tara was still in the bathroom before answering. Running water and the whir of Tara’s electric toothbrush quickly reassured her that she still had a minute or two before her girlfriend came back.
“No. She was trying at first but lately, whenever someone brings it up, she changes the subject. One of the detectives called a couple days ago and apparently the lead they had fell through so they’re back to square one.”
“How’d she take it?”
“Oddly enough she seemed totally indifferent. I just don’t think she really has any hope that they’ll ever catch the person that did this. And I don’t think she really cares. She’s so focused on getting better and moving on. I don’t think she looks at it like the rest of us do; like that jerk could’ve taken her away.” Willow stopped herself there, taking a deep breath as she felt her eyes start to burn at the thought. Not now Willow. This is not the time to fall apart again.
“Maybe she’s in denial,” Buffy suggested. “I mean, maybe it won’t really hit her until she’s all better.”
“I don’t know Buf.”
“Have you tried talking to her about it? I mean, not about the accident but just about how she really feels about it? I mean, without putting your emotions into it?
“What do you mean?”
“Well, whenever anyone talks to her about it, it’s clear that they’re angry or upset about the whole situation. I’m guilty of it too, I know. But maybe if someone tried talking to her about it without showing their own emotions, she’d be more willing to show hers.”
“You know it’s weird. Sometimes you are so the stereotypical blonde and the stuff that people around you are saying is just flying over your head like no one’s business. And then sometimes, you say stuff that makes me think it’s all just an act and you’re truly a genius,” Willow said, shaking her head.
“I have many talents,” Buffy chuckled. “Hey, do you want to have breakfast tomorrow?”
“Yeah, how about I meet you at the house. Ten o’clock ok?”
“Perfect, see you then.” Willow ended the call and looked up just in time to see the last of the sun’s rays dip below the horizon. I swear she reads psychology books when she thinks no one is looking. But she may be on to something. If I tried talking to Tara about it without getting all emotional, maybe she’d be able to focus on her own feelings instead of making me feel better. Resolutely nodding her head, she smiled one last time at the shadowed valley below her. And then maybe we can both start to move on. Which will be good for us. We can- Willow looked up, her thoughts interrupted by a muffled bang, followed by a quiet ‘ouch’ coming from the bathroom. “Tare, are you ok?” she asked as she stood and moved towards the bathroom. Tara rounded the doorway just as Willow reached it, smiling as she gently rubbed her left kneecap.
“I’m fine. Just forgot to close the cupboard all the way before I walked into it.”
“Here, come sit down,” Willow said as she pulled her girlfriend to the couch and sat her down before hurrying into the kitchen. She reemerged a moment later with a dishtowel full of ice cubes. “Here,” she said, sitting down on the glass framed coffee table in front of her girlfriend and gingerly placing the cloth on Tara’s already red knee. Tara flinched away from the cold for a moment before settling in, resting her head on the back of the couch with her eyes closed, allowing Willow to firmly press the fabric against her skin.
Willow quietly watched her girlfriend over the next few minutes for any other signs of discomfort but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Tara actually appeared to be perfectly relaxed as she moved the towel gently around her knee.
“Better?” Willow asked a moment later. Tara lazily opened her eyes and smiled.
“Come here,” she said, patting the spot next to her on the sofa. Willow set the half melted cloth on the coffee table next to her and moved to sit next to her girlfriend.
“You sure you’re ok?” she asked, laying her arm across the back of the sofa. Tara nodded once again and moved closer, snuggling into the redhead’s side. Willow wrapped her own arms around Tara and sighed as she felt the blonde’s left hand trail along her stomach. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the top of Tara’s. “You’re probably going to have a bruise tomorrow.”
“It’ll be fine,” Tara mumbled. Avoiding again, Willow thought, trying to think of a way to bring up the subject. “You know I’m not made of glass Willow.”
“I know. I just… I worry about you.” She flinched internally when Tara stayed quiet. Don’t put your emotions into Willow. Now think. How can you talk to her without getting all emotional over that stupid ass that almost- No! No, that’s not the way to start. You’ve got to be neutral. You’ve got to be detached. You’ve got to be Switzerland here. Well I mean, not totally. I mean you don’t want to come off as uncaring or cruel. But you can’t let her see how much this is bothering you. I mean, of course she already knows how much this is bothering me but if I just keep that inside maybe, just maybe… Stop babbling in your head and talk to her! “I mean, I’m always going to worry about you, no matter what. But I know that I can’t always be the one that takes care of whatever’s bothering you. Sometimes I might just have to sit back and let you take care of it. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not here as a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I want you to know that. That I’ll always be here to listen to you without judging or putting my own feelings into play if you just need or want to vent. You know what I mean?” Willow looked down at the blonde head that rested on her shoulder, waiting for an answer that didn’t come. “Tara? Do you know what I’m trying to say here?” Tara’s rhythmic breathing was the only answer she received. Looking up she saw their reflection in the television across the room and saw Tara’s eyes closed, her mouth slightly open. You rest baby, Willow thought as she placed another soft kiss on top of Tara’s head. You rest for as long as you need to.
***
.The muffled voices reached for her slowly as she fought her way to the surface. She’d been fighting for what felt like hours to unsuccessfully break through the fog and felt her frustration growing by the minute as she pushed harder and harder. She wasn’t sure what it was that was keeping her grounded and disoriented but the battle was starting to weigh on her. I’m just so tired, she thought, feeling her body sigh in relief as she stopped struggling for just a moment. Maybe if I just rest for a minute… but just a minute. I can’t give up. The dark fog started to envelope her once again, startling her and forcing her to fight even hard to avoid being drug back under.
“Tare?” The voice sounded so close; so familiar and safe. “Tare? Wake up, you’re dreaming.”
Willow! She felt a soft hand caress her cheek, urging her to flee the fog. Willow! The murkiness around her was starting to dissipate as the seconds passed.
“Tara?” She felt a soft pair of lips brush her forehead and down the bridge of her nose. With one final push she pulled herself from the depths of her dreams and opened her eyes to the safe haven of her girlfriend’s kind gaze and sweet smile. “Hey. Sorry, I would’ve let you sleep longer but you didn’t seem to be enjoying whatever it was that was chasing you around in your head.” Tara heard the other voices once again and turned her eyes to the television on the far wall, catching the tail end of a story about a nail polish exhibition that was attended by thousands on the local late news. “Tare, you ok?” Tara turned back and snuggled into Willow’s neck, taking in the safe feeling of the redhead’s arms wrapped around her.
“Yeah. Sorry. How long have I been asleep?” Her voice was husky from sleep and for the first time she noticed just how parched she was.
“A couple hours. I didn’t want to wake you up though until it was time to go to bed. You seemed so tired.”
“I am. I feel like I got hit by a truck.” Beside her Tara felt Willow tense and cursed herself for her poor analogy. Damn it Tara. “I mean, I think just going back to work and everything this week has finally caught up with me.”
“Well come on, we can go to bed,” Willow said as she reached for the remote and turned off the television. Tara just nodded and started to extract herself from Willow’s hold when Faith emerged from her bedroom, smiling slightly at the pair when she saw them on the couch.
“I thought you two would be in bed by now,” she said as she stopped on the other side of the living room.
“We’re making our way there,” Willow said, rubbing her hand along Tara’s back as she sat up fully.
“Well I’m heading over to Buf’s,” Faith said, lifting the small duffle bag in her hand.
“Why so late?” Tara asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she finally comprehended just how late it actually was.
“I just had to take care of some stuff here first,” Faith said with a shrug. Tara recognized the tactic of her best friend and just nodded, not pushing the subject any further. She was more than surprised when Faith stepped further into the room and fell into the overstuffed arm chair to the left of her and Willow. “I got a call from Lukas today. Apparently, in her regular style, my mom left a huge mess to be cleaned up.”
“What do you mean?” Tara asked, leaning back against the couch again. Beside her she felt Willow stay upright; not settling in beside her but making no attempt to actually leave the sofa either. Faith wouldn’t go into anything serious here if she didn’t trust Willow. Tara looked up to see her best friend staring down at her hands for a moment and figured Faith wasn’t ready yet to talk about what was really bothering her. She was surprised once again when Faith sighed and looked up at her, ready to tell the story.
“Well she was actually living just north of here. Up near Shuttesberg. I guess she was living there and partying hard like normal. And she screwed over the wrong guy.”
Tara felt Willow tense up beside her and reached out to place a calming hand on the redhead’s thigh. Of course her cast impeded total contact but the small gesture seemed to calm Willow enough that she didn’t jump off the couch. It’s ok Will.
“This guy, Dave or Dale or something like that broke into the shithole she was living in and totally trashed the place. Took anything of value. Apparently she’d been ‘running a tab’ and according to this guy, she owed him about fifteen hundred dollars.”
“Oh my gosh!” Willow blurted out. Faith’s stare turned to Willow for the first time since she’d sat down and for a moment, Tara thought that would be the end of the story.
“I know,” Faith said, rolling her eyes and looking back down at her hands in her lap.
“Wait, how did Lukas find all this out?” Tara asked.
“I didn’t know this but about a week after her funeral this guy showed up at my aunt and uncle’s house looking for Renee. They told him what happened and I guess he was less than thrilled that he didn’t get paid. Then last week he broke into her place and a neighbor actually reported the incident. When the cops got there obviously there wasn’t much they could do. And I guess the only contact information they found in the house was for Lukas. I have no idea why she had his number laying around. Well, actually she probably had it in case she needed something but I don’t know how she got it. They hadn’t talked in years.” Faith paused for a moment, tilting her head back and staring at the ceiling. Tara made no attempt to push for more details but her head was swimming with all the possible bad outcomes that this story could have. Beside her she felt Willow sitting unusually still, which made her even more nervous. Faith let out a deep sigh before leaning forward in her chair and continuing. “So anyway the cops called Lukas to feel him out; see if he had anything to do with it. Lukas ended up calling my aunt and that’s when he found out about the visit from that guy. She and my uncle had been out of town for conferences and hadn’t had a chance to finish taking care of everything after the funeral. They’d paid an extra two months’ rent to Renee’s landlord so they could have some time to clean out her stuff but they just didn’t get back fast enough.”
“So what happened with that guy? Is he going to be like trolling around their house or…” Here? Tara didn’t dare say it out loud. If Willow was freaked out now, the thought of some violent drug dealer casing out her and Faith’s apartment would definitely push her over the edge.
“No. He was actually apprehended a week ago on some other breaking and entering charge. So he’s not going to be stopping by to visit anyone anytime soon,” Faith said, staring right at Tara and answering her unspoken question. Thank God, Tara thought with a small sigh of relief. “But now, between the cops and the landlord, they want her apartment taken care of ASAP. And since my aunt and uncle are out of town and Lukas is about eight hundred miles away, I’m the one left to take care of it all.”
“Oh Faith, I’m sorry. I’ll help you. Just tell me when,” Tara said. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Willow looking back and forth between her and Faith with a look of panic mixed with an eagerness of her own to help.
“No, you won’t be helping,” Faith said with an air of finality. “You’ve got yourself to take care of. That’s way more important.”
“Faith I’m not made of freaking glass! Really. I can help. Please let me.”
“I’ll agree to you supervising. How about that?” Faith said with a smirk.
“Oh supervising you? Really Faith? Because that will accomplish so much.”
“I can help,” Willow blurted out. Tara turned to see the eagerness in Willow’s face matched her tone and smiled at her thoughtfulness. That’s my girl.
“There, you can supervise me, Willow and Buffy.”
“Buffy?” Tara turned back to Faith. “Buffy agreed to help?”
“Yeah.” Faith nodded, smiling somewhat prideful at her friend. Tara arched her eyebrow in question making Faith’s smile grow even broader. “I talked to her today actually. I was really upset after talking to Lukas. I mean, not because of my mom but just at the situation. It’s so like Renee and it’s beyond frustrating that I have another mess to clean up. So I called Buf and spilled the whole story. And she said she’d be more than willing to help or do whatever I needed her to.”
Tara couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Wow. I can’t believe she finally did it. She found someone she can really trust.
“That’s great Faith,” she said, reaching out and patting the brunette on the knee. “I’m glad you talked to her.”
“Me too.”
The two friends smiled at each other as a moment of silence enveloped the room. I never thought I’d see the day that Faith Lehane would fall this hard for a girl and that the girl would actually turn out to be worth it, Tara thought, finally looking away from her best friend when she felt Willow shift uncomfortably next to her. She turned to see her girlfriend looking down at her lap, obviously feeling uneasy at the quiet moment that had wrapped around her and Faith. Not wanting to lose the redhead she smoothly grabbed for Willow’s left hand with her own and squeezed it. When Willow finally looked up Tara leaned forward and left a small peck on her cheek. The effect was instantaneous as Willow bashfully smiled and turned back into problem solving mode.
“So when do you want to take care of all this?” Willow asked.
“Well actually Buf and I thought we’d head over there around one tomorrow. Are you guys free?” Both girls just nodded. “Great. Well I’m going to head out then,” Faith said as she stood up from the chair and took a step towards the hallway. “So we’ll meet here tomorrow and then drive over all together.”
“You’re ok driving over to Buffy’s now?” Tara asked, wanting to make sure Faith wasn’t too upset or angry about the whole situation. Faith just nodded and smiled easily before stepping towards the door and leaving. Tara heard the locks turn behind her from the outside of the door and then the distinct sound of Faith’s heavy boots trotting down the hall. “Well I guess that answers the question as to what’s wrong with her,” Tara said turning back to Willow. Willow just nodded. “I’m really glad she told us though. And I’m even happier that she talked to Buffy.”
“So her mom was…” Willow trailed off as she looked away from her girlfriend.
“Pretty much a piece of garbage? Yeah,” Tara finished for her and stood up. “Come on, let’s go to bed. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“Was she always a… piece of garbage?” Willow asked, following Tara to her bedroom and closing the door behind them.
“Except for one or two occasions, yeah, as far as I know. The only time I can remember Faith saying that she was a decent person was for a few months when she was sixteen but she’s never been a mother to Faith,” Tara said as she turned on the overhead light and pushed the covers back on her side of the bed.
Willow had just put the soft yellow sheets that morning while she was in the shower and as silly as it was, she found herself looking forward to crawling into them multiple times over the afternoon. She looked up to see Willow slowly changing out of her work clothes and into one of the pairs of pajamas that she’d brought over earlier that week. I really need to just clean out a few drawers for her here so she doesn’t have to worry about packing a bag anymore, Tara thought, smiling at the idea of Willow’s clothes being housed in the same dresser as her own. Willow looked up and caught the blonde staring as she let the t-shirt slide down her torso. Feeling a little self-conscious at the smile Tara was giving her she quickly turned off the light and made her way to her side of the bed. Tara watched as Willow climbed under the sheets, pulling them up to her chin and fell perfectly still. Tara smiled further at her adorable girlfriend and turned onto her side, snuggling closer. If it was possible, Tara felt Willow become even more still, making no attempt to snuggle back.
“Will?” Tara looked up and saw Willow looking at her out of the corner of her eye, still looking a little panicked and couldn’t help the giggle that erupted from her chest. Willow finally turned her head, meeting Tara’s gaze fully, confusion written all over her face.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, I just…” Tara let the last few giggles escape before taking a deep breath and looking deep into the green eyes before her. “I understand that you don’t want anything intimately physical happening between us, but-”
“No Tara! It’s not that I don’t want-”
“Will, wait. I get it, it’s not that you don’t want to, it’s just that you’re waiting. I just want to make sure that you’re w-waiting because you’re worried about hurting me and not that you’re d-disgusted or r-repulsed by me now.” She finally looked away as the words left her mouth, worried that Willow’s expression would tell her something that she wasn’t ready to see. Tara had been rehearsing the question for days now but had been unable to bring herself to actually vocalize it, fearful that Willow would give her the answer she didn’t want. She knew deep down that Willow hadn’t been avoiding her advances for any reason other than her injuries but she couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that her girlfriend was avoiding her advances now simply because she was no longer attracted to the blonde. And stuttering through the question, that’s even sexier Tara. Way to go.
“Tara no, that’s not it at all. Please don’t think that. I’m so sorry if I gave you that impression. I still think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, that will never change,” Willow said, turning fully into Tara and lifting the blonde’s chin. Tara’s worried eyes met hers and she quickly leaned in and brushed her lips against Tara’s. Tara initially stiffened in surprise but then sunk into the kiss, allowing Willow to take control. She slowly rolled onto her back and reveled in the feeling of Willow’s lips on hers; Willow’s fingers touching her face and running through her hair. After a moment she felt the kiss begin to wane and finally allowed Willow to pull away with a few fleeting pecks on her cheeks and nose. “Tara it is nearly impossible to keep myself from kissing and touching and… well everything with you.” Willow paused for a minute and Tara let the words sink in. “I’m not disgusted or repulsed by you now after… everything. I just am terrified that I’m going to hurt you. And I know that sounds stupid. I know, as you’ve said many times, to many people, you’re not made of glass. But I guess, I just want to make sure that everything’s ok and back to not being anywhere near broken before we… well, you know.” Tara smiled as she watched the streetlight outside illuminate Willow’s faint blush. “And I mean, it’s not like we have to wait forever you know. Just a little bit longer, when you’re stronger and when that time comes, well, prepare to be shackled to bed for about four days straight, because I’m not letting you leave,” Willow finished with a smile. Tara burst out giggling and felt Willow’s own chest slightly shaking against her as she let her own laughter out.
Only Willow, Tara thought, finally calming after another round of laughs consumed both girls. She leaned up and softly kissed her girlfriend once before looking back into the green eyes that she adored.
“Ok, that’s fair,” she said as Willow carefully slid off her but kept full body contact along the blonde’s side. “And I’m glad that was your answer. I wouldn’t want to think about how all of what’s happened could possibly change the way you feel about me.”
“Never,” Willow said, brushing her fingertips along Tara’s hip over the covers. “I love you Tara. Nothing’s changing that.”
“I love you too Will,” Tara said, closing her eyes as the peacefulness of the moment overtook her. Perfect.
_________________ Anya: I don't like the sound of this. They don't sound very ex-demon compatible. Tara: Are you sure they're English? I thought English people were, um, gentler than uh... normal people. An Everyday Life
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