12 step support for the spoiler-free

[Katharyn]

There are only as many restraints in the trench as you would like there to be!

The rest is based on willpower. I have been a ho, I will not go down that road again.

Katharyn

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She's my always

[Dr.G]

Again I warn you all (in advance this time): don't scroll down and close your eyes once you've hit reply.

[xita]

That warning will be effective tomorrow night midnight eastern standard time.

[WiccanBex]

well... at least i only have til tomorrow... i can wait another day.

and i can have my angel fix this afternoon... that might numb the pain a little.

i'm just glad i get to download the eps relatively early.

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"if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere. We're all so fragile, we're all so scared."
nocturnal review site

[Wolfie]

Okay. Have discovered the way of the spoiler free:

Ready?

Oh, by the way, Forrister - here's a trebuchet for your barricade - pretty wicked good at the ole' demolition - especially if anyone decides to set up a castle opposite to mock you with a French accent ("your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberrys" etc).

Right.

Step one: When feeling the urge to spoil, drink six large mugs of expresso coffee (or sixteen mugs of regular)

Step two: When the caffiene hits, and you get all jiggly, put on Naked City by Torture Garden and turn up the volume, so the neighbours can hear. The Rockabilly, followed by extreme heavy riffing, accompanied by eccentric shredding and a nutty Japanese geezer doing Monkey impressions (as in the series) will be enough to distract you, I promise.

Step three: Remove clothing, except: a pair of pants (style and gender open for interpretation - be creative - personally, I find an enormous pair of maroon Y-fronts with sky blue piping works), and put them neatly on your head, moulding them as a British Forces regular would set a beret.

Step four: Find a local National Trust property (if non-UK - find any old property that has connections to either landed gentry, political, or middle class -intellectual bourgeoisie associations - a poet's residence, for instance), look for the nearest coach-load of old age pensioners on an outing, having just disembarked from their coach, and milling about with their walking stick/ canvass fold-out seat apparatus still in non-combatant orientation, and jump out, screaming "this one's for Buffy!", and wiggle any such naughty bits you posess (depending on gender).

Step five: Finally get caught by the police, sitting in the middle of a flock of sheep, waving a plastic duck and going "moo". Big struggle, during which you steal a policeman's helmet, and end up in a padded cell, hoping they have cable.

Well, I hope you find these five steps a viable alternative to reading spoilers. I have tried it, and as I sit in this internet cafe, picking the mud from my ear and adjusting my faithful head garment, I can hear the sirens, so better go and find that field. Here's to a happy viewing, and hoping my cell has cable. Will send messages, smuggled out by crane fly.

[Prairiegirl]

Wow Wolfie - I would love to find out what you are like on a date!

[Forrister]

Wow, a trebuchet!

I always wanted one of those. I'm going to paint this one red and white and name it 'Wolfie's Revenge' in honour of the giver.

Things are pretty good in the ole trench at the moment. It's a bit quiet (we're all recovering from the party the day before) and there isn't a soul on the horizon. Princess has taken off the restraints in order to try this willpower thing Katharyn keeps chanting about.
(Willpower, willpower, gotta have willpower! etc.)

I am attempting to find a way to get Katharyn to relax a bit. The wine seemed to have no affect whatsoever and she's back to pacing the trenchline with a loaded crossbow in her hands. I thought I might let her play with the trebuchet a bit later (and fix the trigger on the crossbow so it isn't quite so sensitive - in the interests of self-preservation.) Even Bitofluff is getting a bit ansty at all the pacing. I think he toddled off to snuggle on Princess' shoulder for a bit.

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.
(Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.)

[Princess Willow]

*petting bitofluff*

It's actually getting easier to stay away from the dark side. I guess I do have will power after all.

Katherine, sit down hon. I brought the board games Monopoly and Clue. Would you like to play? Keep your mind off the evil doers out there who would have us read their tantalizing threads? Forrister, you of course are more than welcome to join us.

I'm going to pout for a second, though. I have to teach Water Aerobics tonight so I won't see Buffy until 9pm

Ok...done feeling sorry for myself. Could someone please pass the croissants and Nutella?

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[minion]

Hey, can I play, I've got Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit?

As for Hodom, I admit I have strayed from the righteous path and downloaded Bargaining 1+2, but I just couldn't wait until January!

As for the rest of the season, I am going to try and stay spoiler free, apart from the TV guide stuff and maybe some W+T caps, I can't resist them, but as for the spoiler threads, nope, I'm not going near them, okay well, maybe just a little near them, maybe just near enough to smell the cheap perfume and the leather pants

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love

[Forrister]

*preparing hot croissants for all*

Welcome to the trenchline Minion. Of course you can play! Here, have a croissant.

[Forrister rummages in war chest but is all out of helmets. Thinks - leather. Constructs a leather helmet and boils it in hot wax - when it sets it'll be really hard. (Cuirboulli) Anything in particular you want painted on your helmet, Minion?]

Trivial Pursuit. Hmmm. I don't know the question but the answer is either 'Denmark', 'on the bottom', or '1066'.

Tentatively offers Katharyn a croissant with a bit of vegemite. Could be a bit too much for a delicate pom. Hands Princess the nutella.

Mater tua orcus fuit, et pater tuo regia peulla mythica fuit.
(Your mother was an orc and your father was a fairy princess.)

[tommo]

Why doesn't someone find out what a penfold is. That should keep you busy for a few millenia.

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

[kpmuse]

Okay you guys. I wanted to ask if I can join in with you in the spoiler-free trenches, but I have to admit that I am scared. Very, very scared.....

Is there any room for candy & flowers?

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kris

Um ... eat a lot of apple sauce, preferably fed to you by attractive young lesbians. - Amber

[Forrister]

Spots a lurking Tommo and dashes out to try for a capture. Unfortunately, being particularly sneaky, Ruth dashes off and gets away. Bugger!

A penfold is:
a. A small hamster like rodent that hangs about with Danger Mouse.
b. A flexible plastic or material pocket for keeping pens.
c. A small lacy jacket like arrangement. Usually for very small babies, often part of a traditional christening outfit.
d. A lacy smocked affair, sometimes combining embroidery or ribbons. Very girly.
e. Something that Cordelia wants Faith to buy for her (even though she doesn't know what it is either.)

Got any other major questions in life Ruth? You could always join us in the trench. We have hot croissants. I'll even put you in charge of the greek fire!

Omne ignotum pro magnifico est.
(Everything unknown seems magnificent.)

[minion]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Forrister:

[Forrister rummages in war chest but is all out of helmets. Thinks - leather. Constructs a leather helmet and boils it in hot wax - when it sets it'll be really hard. (Cuirboulli) Anything in particular you want painted on your helmet, Minion?]

---

chomp, hmm, thanks for the croissant, very nice, but it's gone straight to my thighs

Um, what would I like on my helmet, well after many sordid ideas ranging from Amber's butt to something even more unmentionable, I think I'll settle for the Kitten board emblem, it'll be nice to co-ordinate with my kitten T-shirt!

As for a penfold first thoughts have to be Dangermouse's bespectacled little moley friend, other than that, um, well, I actually have no idea

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Lovequote:

[Princess Willow]

*breaking out the Trivial Pursuit game*

I love this game. My bf hates it so I NEVER get to play!

Woo Hoo!

Oh, and I am so happy that everyone else thought Danger Mouse when asked what a penfold was.

*Mmmmmm...Nutella*

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[minion]

Well pull up a chair Princess and lets crack on, you can go first

Oh and I totally agree with you about Nutella, I love Nutella far too much!

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love

[Princess Willow]

Let me tell you, this is the way to diet.

Imagining that I'm eating a warm croissant with Nutella and driking a (Starbucks) Venti White Chocolate Mocha while I'm actually eating Light wheat bread with Fat Free margarine and a bowl of "Healthy Choice" Chicken and Rice soup.

Ok minion, I landed on Pink...that's Entertainment. Please read me my question.

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[tommo]

It's in Vogue! Of course Cordelia wants Faith to get her one.

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

[minion]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Princess Willow:
Let me tell you, this is the way to diet.

Imagining that I'm eating a warm croissant with Nutella and driking a (Starbucks) Venti White Chocolate Mocha while I'm actually eating Light wheat bread with Fat Free margarine and a bowl of "Healthy Choice" Chicken and Rice soup.

Ok minion, I landed on Pink...that's Entertainment. Please read me my question.

---

Ewww, you're actually eating that, you have my commiserations, I won't tell you what I've just eaten hahaha

As for your question, lets have a kind of on-topic one

Who provided the voice of Dangermouse?

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Lovequote:

[Princess Willow]

Ummm...ya got me. I have no idea.

Btw, the bread and marg are actually good. The soup was pretty nasty, though.

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[Ed Wood]

quote:

---

Originally posted by minion:

Who provided the voice of Dangermouse?

---

I know! I know! -> (sesroH dna slooF ylnO morf kereD) nosaJ divaD

Can I ask one?

Who provided the voice for Duckman? And in which famous sit-com did he co-star?

[This message has been edited by Ed Wood (edited October 09, 2001).]quote:

[Forrister]

Hey, kpmuse!

I didn't see you there. Oh, poor pet. A bit nervous. Here have a helmet and some cuddles. You can even pet Bitofluff when I find him. (I think he's getting rather fond of Princess - try there.) Feeling any better? Good. Settle down and join the game.

It wasn't Patrick Stewart was it? No? Ok my turn now. Where's that question? I'm waiting with breathless anticipation. Oh catagory? History.

[I'm actually eating cheesy toast by the way. Diet be damned. If I lose any more weight my trousers will fall down, belt and all.]

Hands Minion a helmet with the Kitten Board logo and a big yellow plume for effect.

Mitem animum agresti sub tegmine servo.
(I have a soft soul beneath a rough appearance.)

[Princess Willow]

Duckman...that I know

Jason Alexander and he starred in Seinfeld.

Currently starring in Bob Patterson on ABC.

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[minion]

Wow, thanks, how do I look, it's a perfect fit, although it makes my ears stick out, but heyho, not to worry!

That was a good guess, but it wasn't Patrick Stewart, do you want me to tell you now?

Um, as for a history question, um, let me see, okay

When was the Magna Carta signed?

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love

[This message has been edited by minion (edited October 09, 2001).]

[Forrister]

Ah, trick question.

The Magna Carta, (which by the way wasn't called the Magna Carta until much later) was not signed. King John set his seal to the document in June 1215. (In those days a seal was of far more legal weight than a signature. Besides, few people apart from clerics could write.)

I'll pass my next turn onto someone else because I want to go test-fire the trebuchet. Oh and I made up some pancakes for anyone who wants some. (Any left overs can be placed in the catapult and shot into the spoiler thread for effect.

By the way, who did do the voice for DM?

Numquam scholam patire eruditi tibi intervenire.
(Never allow school to interfere with your education.)

[minion]

Excellent answer

Dangermouse was voiced by none other than David Jason, or Del boy or Frost or Granville or any of the other fab parts he's played!

By the way, I'm actually embarrassed that I knew that

Good luck firing the trebuchet, I look forward to seeing the results of that one!

Alas, I must away now also, this helmet is quite heavy and has given me a headache, oh, but pass the pancakes before I go, anyone got any jif lemon and some sugar?

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love

[Princess Willow]

I'm off for the day as well. Must go to Haight Street and hang posters for our upcoming show.

The Haight was the birthplace of Janis Joplin, The Greatful Dead, the whole San Francisco Hippie Culture.

It'll be an interesting afternoon.

I will see you all tomorrow...and we can talk about how good we were by staying unspoiled for Ep.2

'Night, all.
*ruffles Bitofluff's fur*

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"Lord what fools these mortals be."

[gypsyfoot]

Just stopping by the trench to bring some of Xanders' favorite snack-Twinkies.
Xander...And the exciting part is that
they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn't leave
you with that heavy... food feeling in your stomach.
Glad to see you guys have canapes, the spoiled get ho d'oeuvres

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Willow smiles and Tara blows out the candle!

[tommo]

LOL. Funny. I like that. We also bathe in champagne and pour it over each other's backs. See, spoiler ho's are a gregarious lot. We're having a Roman themed night tomorrow, so I guess orgies are the order of the day...what can I say? We like to spoil each other...

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

[GODisTigger]

I'm going to make an attempt to go spoiler free from now on. I know at one time I never read spoilers or would have even thought of reading them. I remember being unwillingly spoiled for the X-Files Season 4 premiere 5 minutes before it aired. I was NOT a happy camper! LOL, maybe it traumatized me into reading them so I wouldn't have to go through that again.

D