Read slowly. I have no idea when chapter 5 will be ready.
Enjoy. And please feedback. I love hearing from you guys.
-Kerry
~~~~~~~~~~~
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T ….”
Sounds of the queen of soul blared through the speakers
of the living room stereo system.
Wisps of strawberry blonde freed themselves from two captive braids and flew away from Hannah’s head as Willow spun her in a circle, singing to the music. The small child laughed, a huge grin splitting her face. “No throwing up your pancakes, ok?” Willow called over the music, getting a larger giggle from the chilled.
Tara stood in the doorway. “Little loud for eight am, don’t you think?”
“Uhoh,” Willow whispered, looking down at Hannah.
“We woke up mommy.”
Willow nodded and winked. “Why don’t you go show her what’s in the kitchen,” she suggested, setting the child down on the floor gently.
“K,” Hannah replied with a giggle, turning and grabbing her mother’s hand. “Look, Mommy,” she tugged her mother into the kitchen.
Tara arched an eyebrow as she was pulled past Willow into the kitchen.
“Look Mommy, pancakes!” Hannah said, laughing as she pointed to the kitchen table. “And they’re funny shapes. Just like you make me.”
“Did Willow make those?”
The girl shook her head, her braided strawberry-blonde hair swishing with the movement. “No, she said she didn’t know how to make funny shapes. She let
me make them! But she helped me with the hot parts so I wouldn’t burn myself. And I did them just like you taught me. With the wiggles and swirlies, too!”
“She said they were special pancakes.”
Tara smirked, lifting her eyes to Willow who stood in the doorway. “They are.”
Willow smirked and shrugged her shoulders slightly.
“Mommy, she did my hair, too! Aren’t the braids pretty?” Hannah asked, running her fingers over the French braids.
“Yeah, s-sweetie, they’re really nice,” her mother replied, her voice relatively soft. Tara sat at the table, her legs feeling somewhat shaky. As she sat, the sound of the front door opening echoed through the first floor.
“Hannah?” Dawn called, stepping into foyer. “You ready to go?”
“Where are you going?” Tara asked, seeming somewhat distracted.
“I’m taking her to get measured for her dress today, remember?” Dawn asked coming in and taking two bottles of juice from the fridge. “Then we’re going to the Magic Box to catch up with Anya and Xander.”
Willow turned. “Oh yeah. She had her doctor’s appointment yesterday, didn’t she?”
“Yep. If you win the pool, Hannah gets your cash,” Dawn teased, handing one of the juice bottles to Hannah. “Get your shoes on, kiddo.”
Hannah nodded, leaned up and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Bye mom!”
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Tara asked, almost as an after thought. Willow frowned, watching the body-language of her once-lover.
Hannah ran for the door and sat on the steps, pulling her shoes on. “I already did. Willow made me a fruit salad for breakfast.”
“Oh,” Tara replied simply.
“By mommy!” Hannah called, following Dawn out the front door.
Willow shifted her weight, glancing at Tara before pouring two glasses of orange juice. She placed one glass in front of Tara at the breakfast table and then moved back to lean against the counter and sip her own juice.
The silence in the room surrounded the two women. Tara sat at the table, simply staring at the plate of pancakes in front of her. Willow stood, watching her friend.
“What did I do wrong?” Willow asked quietly, filling her juice glass up again.
“What?”
“What did I do wrong? You’re staring at the pancakes like they’re from Mars. Not enough squiggles? Too many squiggles? Too dark? Too light? Are you mad ‘cuz I let her cook? I didn’t think you’d be mad about that; she seemed to know what she was doing better than I did,” Willow said, catching herself before she went into full babble-mode.
“It’s not…I …” Tara started, not able to put her words together well. She took a deep breathe and rested her forehead against one hand propped on the table. “Don’t break her heart, Willow.”
“What?” Willow asked, fumbling her glass and letting it slip into the sink to the sink and crack. “What?”
“She…she loves being with you.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
“In this case it is! We leave in 13 days, Willow. That’s more than enough time for her to get attached to you and then have you taken away. I know her. She doesn’t play with just anyone. She doesn’t talk to just anyone. She’s got to think you’re something special for her to even look you in the eye. She’s nine times shyer than I was. She let you do her hair! She doesn’t even let
Dawn do her hair and she’s known Dawn all her life.”
Willow sighed, flopping into the chair across from Tara. “I didn’t think it would be a bad thing to make friends with her, Tara.”
“I just don’t want her to hurt as much as I did when I left. I’ll do anything to keep her from feeling like that,” Tara sniffled, trying to keep back a flow of tears.
“Anything. Even if it means keeping me from seeing her,” Willow elaborated, standing. She walked past Tara, muttering a resigned “Ok.”
Tara reached out, catching Willow’s hand in her own. “No…I…” she paused, not sure of herself or her words until she felt Willow’s fingers reflexively but lovingly stroke her hand. “Did you eat breakfast?” she asked quickly.
“Yeah,” Willow replied.
Tara pushed away from the table. “Pancakes can wait. You and I need to talk.”
“Yeah.”
The blonde stood and tugged Willow into the living room, sitting on the couch and pulling the redhead down with her.
“Talk? Talking can be good,” Willow began, falling into babble mode without second thought. “Talking can be bad, too. Talking is always a good thing to try but sometimes the trying can lead to fighting and yelling and yelling and fighting really aren’t good things. Are we sure that this is a good idea? Talking might-“
Her words were stopped, her lips stilled by Tara’s lips finding their mark in a quick yet genuine kiss.
“Uh-u…Um….” Willow stuttered, the normal reaction after a long hiatus from Tara-Kisses.
Tara blushed. “If that’s what it takes to shut you up for two seconds…” She paused and took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves before beginning her speech. “I don’t know if there’s a way you can know how hard it was for me after I left Sunnydale, after I left you. I know you were hurting, too, but its not like you had a choice. I walked out on you. But for me, Will, at any minute I could turn around and walk back into your life and make the hurt end. But I couldn’t do that because it would still hurt me—just in a different way.”
Willow nodded, looking down at her lap. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Tara smiled, lifting her friend’s chin so their eyes met. “Don’t be. I think it was good for us to take some time off, even if it wasn’t the best of circumstances. I needed to get away and make sure I could live life as I wanted to; independently. And you needed some time to pull things together with your life, too. Distance did good things for us, Will. I’ve got my life together. A good job, a good house, a good kid-“
“A great kid,” Willow corrected.
“A great kid,” she agreed. “But I’ve got all those things and as much as …” she shook her head, not knowing where to go with her train of thought.
Her redheaded companion cleared her throat. “Six years was a long time,” she said. “Part of me thinks it was too long. I’m really used to being alone. Just me and the Scoobies and even they’ve paired up into little clichés. Dawn brings her fiancé on patrol. Anya and Xander are…well, Anya and Xander. And Buffy and Spike are still being their usual selves. And then there’s me. Kinda the loner of the group. The funny part is that it’s been working pretty well for me the last six years. Everything works pretty well around here.”
Tara nodded.
We’re still dancing around the bigger issues…but neither one of us is willing to change just yet. “I missed you,” she said simply.
“I missed you so much,” Willow replied squeezing Tara’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here. And I’m glad you brought Hannah so I could meet her at last,” she said, throwing Tara a somewhat dirty look to show she wasn’t happy about being left out of the child’s life for so long. “I just…Tara?”
“Yeah?”
“You know how I said everything’s going good around here?” she said softly.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Even Buffy says it’s awfully boring when things go smoothly. I mean, I think we could use a little change in our lives.”
Tara nodded simply. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Maybe you could come visit more often? That way…that way when you guys leave it won’t be such a big deal for Hannah.”
“Yeah. I think maybe we could come down one weekend a month or so. She deserves to meet her family.”
Willow’s grin turned into a full-blown smile. “So she and I can play?”
“Definitely.”
”And I can do her hair?” Willow prodded, getting a nod from Tara as the answer. “And pancakes?”
“Ooooh, pancakes,” Tara said, standing up. “Almost forgot about breakfast.”
“That’s not good. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Especially if there are sassy eggs involved,” Willow said, blushing deep read as she realized the reference to their once existent sex-life. “Ooops.”
Tara grinned, pulling Willow up from the couch. “To this day I can’t have eggs Sunny-Side-Up because I either giggle or blush. I’m going to let you explain that one to Hannah when she’s old enough.”
“No way!” Willow rebutted, following her friend into the kitchen.
“So, what’s on our agenda for the day?” Tara asked, sitting and beginning to eat her special swirrlie pancakes.
“In Dawn’s not-so-subtle way of giving us time to get back together,” Willow began, grabbing a peach from the fridge and taking a bite, “She’s left us all alone until dinner time. We can do whatever you want to do. Together, separate, doesn’t matter to me.”
“What do you normally do on a beautiful day like this?”
“Swimming pool,” Willow replied simply.
“Ooooh. Pool?” Tara questioned around a mouthful of pancakes.
Willow nodded and whiped her chin from some of the peach juices that liberally coated her mouth. “The demon count is down. Spike and Buffy get bored when they can’t kill things on patrol. Last year they got back early from patrol and started a wrestling pit in the backyard. There was mud involved. It was a very sketchy situation. All I know is that somehow the mud pit turned into a really large, really deep hole.” She paused and took another mouthful of fruit.
“Why did they start a mud pi-“ Tara paused, holding up a hand. “Never mind. I really don’t want to know.”
Willow smiled. “No one will admit to the idea of turning the pit into a pool but somehow cement, filters, and tiles all joined the ranks. We all pitched in. Xander put in the diving board and slide. Dawnie and I did the tiling. Buffy did lots of heavy lifting. We all carved our names on the floor so it’s the Scoobies’ pool,” she said with a wink.
Tara smirked. “Too bad I missed that.”
“You didn’t, really,” Willow offered, tossing her peach pit into the trash before gallantly clearing Tara’s plate and putting it into the dishwasher before the other woman could protest. “Your name’s on there too,” she said, leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. “I’m going to put my suit on. Meet you out back!”
********