This is a so called über-fic.
Title: The lesbian fairy tale
Author: mirage
Email: miragesdream@gmx.net
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns the "Buffy"-characters, you know the ritual
Distribution: You can have it
Feedback? would be nice.
Summary: An ill Willow demands a lesbian fairy tale
Spoilers: no real spoilers
Note: for the someone who pushed, no forced me, blame it on her. Her name is insomnia and if you want to email her a complaint about the fic mail me I will forward it!
Note2: blame it on the cheezy Drew Barrymore film with that really
boring prince and a bored fic writer
Carefully not to disturb the crouched body under the blanket Tara closed the door behind her. It was kind of a challenge to shut the door and balance a tray with the hot tea on it but she managed it to her own satisfaction. There was only a little click but when she turned around to look at the bed her girlfriend hadn't moved. At least she hoped it was her girlfriend who was hidden underneath the blanket and not some kind of red haired monster, cause all she could see was the blanket and some red hair that emerged from somewhere between three huge pillows. Actually it looked more like a red bird's nest, the cutest one she had ever seen. She smiled as she tiptoed through the room towards the bed. But suddenly the disarray of hair moved and a small pale and feverish face turned to look at her.
"Your not supposed to smile when I'm sick as a dog." Willow pouted before a cough ragged her fragile body.
"Aww, poor baby." Tara rushed over to her lover, placing the tray at the nightstand before she sat down next to her. Her hands glided through damp hair, pushing it back from her girlfriend's face. Willow shuddered when Tara's finger touched her forehead. "You're hot." Tara commented concerned. But Willow forced herself heroically to smile. "If I didn't feel like I have to puke any second I would show you how hot I am." She giggled but soon enough it turned into a new cough that ragged her body. Miserably she looked at the blonde. "I don't like this." She whined.
"I know, honey." Tara answered. "Come here, drink your tea." Willow shuddered again, but this time not out of cold.
"I don't like this tea. I didn't like it yesterday and not today and definitely not tomorrow or ever again in my entire life." The redhead proclaimed, hiding deeper under her blanket. Soon enough the blanket was pulled aside and Willow grimaced as the bright light hit her eyes.
"Then do it for me, please." Tara begged.
Willow looked up at her lover and green eyes met with pleading blue ones. She sighed, she could never deny Tara a wish. "But I want something in exchange." She demanded, as she turned on her back to get a better view of Tara.
"What. A kiss?" Tara asked smilingly.
"Yeah, that would be a great start but it won't be enough. This time."
"Willow, I want sex too but I think we should wait till…………" Tara started but she was interrupted.
"I don't mean sex. I want a story." Tara blushed, looking down at her fiddling finger.
"Oh, not that I don't want to have sex, cause I want it every time and everywhere. Well maybe not everywhere, cause I could never do it in a restroom at burger king's. That is definitely the "yuck"-category. Oho, babbling isn't good. Makes my head all spinny." Willow stopped and closed her eyes for a second till her world stopped spinning around. "I want my babbling back." She said, looking at the blonde for help.
"I want it back too. Drink your tea and I promise babbling in a day and a story." Tara tried to convince Willow.
"You promise?" Willow asked back. She got a nod and a smile as an answer. "okayyyy." She gave in and tried to sit up.
Tara helped her and shook up the pillows to give Willow a comfortable place to lean on. Then she passed her the hot steaming mug of tea. Grumpily Willow took it from her and looked up at Tara again. "Do I really have to? It's soooo hot."
"It has to be hot or it won't help."
"And I'm sure it also has to smell and taste this awful to help." Willow added with a grimace. "Where is Mary Poppins when you need her? Her medicine is always sweet." She guided the mug to her mouth and blew softly above the surface before she set it on her mouth to take a sip.
"Well I'm sure I can get you Mary Poppins but I'm not sure she'll have sex with you as soon as you're strong enough." Tara answered wickedly.
As soon as her mind had processed her normally shy lover's answer Willow's eyes popped out. Then her cheeks ruffled before she spit some of her tea on her nightshirt, coughing heavily. Guiltily Tara rubbed her back, till Willow could breath again.
"That's not fair. You can't do something like that to a serious ill person!" She screamed. Or at least she tried to scream as she wasn't in the condition to form more than a hoarse whisper.
"I'm sorry." Tara tried to hide a giggle.
"You're a mean person." Willow pouted. "A beautiful and caring but mean person."
"What can I do to make it up to you? I'll do everything." Tara said with a grin.
"I want my story. A really long, not 5 second story with a real plot. A fairy tale. But a non scary tale cause when I was seven I found this brother Grimm's book in my parent's library and I thought that they only had this kind of Cinderella and Snow-white stories. But their stories are brutal. There was one about a man who killed his brother to get the princess and he buried him in the woods and years later a herdsman found a bone and made a flute out of it. How sick do you have to be: He's in a Forrest full of wood and he takes the first bone and thinks: 'wow great, let's make a flute out of it.' And when he played his flute the dead brother would sing, cause it was his bone, I think his tigh bone, 'my brother killed me'." Willow shuddered again with disgust. "I couldn't sleep for two weeks. Every time I closed my eyes I saw this flute with its tiny mouth singing 'my brother killed me'."
"Poor baby." Tara rubbed her girlfriend's tummy. "Sometimes I think, you even have more childhood traumas than Woody Allen."
"He was lucky. At least his mother wasn't a shrink." Willow carried on. "Once she took me with her to one of her classes. She made me sit in front of her students at her desk and I should play with my toys whilst 25 pairs of eyes were about to watch me."
"See the tea is already working. The babble is back." Tara tried to cheer her up.
"Great. Babbling and childhood traumas. The irresistible combination." Willow mumbled wiping her nose. "And now can we please let my past rest? I want my story."
She lifted her blanket for Tara to lay next to her. The blonde followed her invitation and sat next to her lover. Willow scooped down and laid her head into Tara's lap, enjoying the caressing movements of Tara's fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer. After a moment of just laying there Willow repeated her wish. "Now tell me my story. My long fairy tale, but I don't want a boring prince, I want a lesbian fairy tale."
Tara smiled and looked down at her girlfriend. "Cause princes are just boring. They always think the girl can't rescue herself and she would be head over heels if she is offered to marry him. Whether she knows him or not." Willow mumbled on.
"Three wishes at once. A long, lesbian fairy-tale?" The blonde sighed. "I really have an imperious girlfriend." She only got a little grunt as answer that made her giggle. "Okay, where do I start? Of course……….. Once upon a time there was a really beautiful princess." Tara caressed Willow's hair. "She had ruby-red, silky hair. That one you can't take your hands off." She smiled.
"Princess? Hm, think more than 25 pair of eyes were watching her." Willow mumbled sleepy.
Tara giggled. "Not that much more. But now be quiet."
She was the king and queen's only child and from her birth on she knew she could never live up to their expectations because she was a girl. But she wasn't an ordinary girl. She had never been interested in dolls. She was interested in the world but at the same time she was scared of what lay behind the save castle's walls. Once she had heard the servants talking about war, diseases and death and that had scared her to death. So she decided that she would learn all about the world surrounded by her save walls. And she drove everyone around her nuts with her questions. Someday her parents saw only one solution to get rid of her. They allowed her to learn how to read. You have to know, normally girls weren't allowed to learn how to read but her father was the king and so he allowed it. So she could stay the whole day and sometimes even the night in the library and out of their sight. But for her it were the luckiest moments in her life. And she spent years in there. It didn't take her long to read all the books and so she started over again with the first one. But soon this wasn't enough for her either and so she started to write her own thoughts down. She hid them behind the biggest, most boring book, were she knew no one would ever search. Well if they knew that there was something to find maybe they would have searched, but they didn't know and so no one ever found "her" books.
But there was one thing missing in her life. A friend she could talk to. And so one day she decided to step out of her library and try to find a friend. But this task was more difficult than she thought. She took her favorite book and clutched it to her chest to give her a feeling of safety and something to talk about. She had planed it all in her head. She would walk through the castle and sooner or later someone would approach her to talk to her about the interesting book she was carrying around.
"Tara?" Willow interrupted her.
"Yes?" Tara asked back.
"What was her name?"
"Oh, I didn't tell you her name?" Willow shook her head. "Hm, lets' see, it was… hm, a royal name… like………… Clarissa." The redhead opened her eyes in shock and looked up at her lover.
"You can't be serious. It's an awful name."
"Who's telling the story, baby? And I didn't give her her name." Tara explained.
Willow snuggled back defeated. "Fine, now I know why she hid all these years. I would do the same with a name like this."
"Her name was Clarissa." Tara stressed.
Clarissa walked the whole day through the castle from the top to the dungeons beneath but she didn't find anyone who seemed interested in her and her book. Frustrated she sat down in the library thinking about what went wrong. But even her sharp mind couldn't come up with a solution. She still sat there between her books when it turned dark outside.
Her train of thoughts was interrupted when the door was opened and in the light of the candle she was carrying an old stooping woman entered the room.
"Ah, I know I would find you here." She said as her old gray eyes adjusted to the darkness outside her candlelight. "It's bedtime child."
Clarissa turned around and faced her nurse. She tilted her head and watched her closely nibbling at her lower lip unconscious. She could ask her nurse for help. She had always been right her whole life and she was old enough to know about things. And she was for sure more of a mother to her than her own mother. "Nana, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Sweety." The old woman answered as she stepped closer and rested with a sigh in the chair next to the petit princess.
"Am I different?" the redhead asked quietly.
"Of course you are." Nana straightened herself up. "You're the Princess."
Clarissa sighed, that wasn't the answer she had hoped for. "No, I mean different except from me being the Princess." She looked down at her fingers. "I don't have a single friend." She whispered.
"Did you say something? You know my ears are not what they used to be." Nana laid her hand on her ear building a funnel.
"I just wondered, if I ever will find someone." Clarissa nearly shouted into Nana's ear.
"But of course you will. Next week. At the bride's gathering."
Clarissa looked at her in shock. She had totally forget about THAT thing. No, she hadn't forgotten, she had repressed it successfully till now. Till now. Frustrated she buried her face in her hands.
The featherlike strokes through her hair made her look up, meeting the old woman's gaze. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find a handsome, good looking prince. Look at you. They will fight for the right to marry you." Nana predicted.
"I don't need someone to fight with but to talk to." Clarissa whispered as she followed her nurse to her room.
She had really tried to believe her. She really had wanted to. With her whole essence. Every night till today she had whispered to herself that she would find the one at the festival. And every night she would pray to god that he would send him to her.
But the first thing she noticed when she woke up at the most important day in her life was the nausea that gripped her stomach. She clutched her arms around her stomach and rocked forth and back to find some comfort.
Great, things like that always happened at really important days. She wanted to look good and interesting and now she felt like she had eaten a slug. The ones without houses. She held her hand before her mouth and breathed into her palm. Then she took a deep breath. Well it least her breath didn't smell like a slug. The first positive thing at this morning.
But if she had known what the day would bring she would have been more than willing to eat a slug and stay the rest of the day in her bed. With one word: boring.
Although it started with a rare sensation. It had been the first day in years that her mother had entered her room. She had looked around before she had turned to her daughter and had smiled at her with one of her false smiles. "My child." She had told her. "I hope, you know HOW important this day will be in your life." Her shrill voice didn't help to get rid of her nausea, Clarissa noticed but she put all her strength together and nodded what she hoped would look enthusiastic. Either she succeeded or her mother didn't bother at all. "Fine, fine." She examined Clarissa's new dress that was spread over her chair. "Yes, I think, that will fit her." She told herself, like her daughter wasn't in the same room any longer. Then she turned around to Nana. "Nana, help her get dressed. She has to look good today. Or she will never find a rich, handsome prince." Her fingers played with her long golden bracelet. "Rich" had always been the key to her mothers ears and heart, Clarissa knew only to well. And suddenly she knew that the day wouldn't be about her wishes but her parents plans for her. To find a rich husband. She shuddered.
The rest of the day didn't turn out any better. She wasn't sick anymore but at some moments through the day she had wished to be able to puke. In fact every time one of the 'handsome, rich' guys approached her. They were boring. They didn't talk about anything else than hunting, their horses or how rich they or rather their fathers were. Some of them had another subject. How they would reign over their land and donate her lots of children. And one of them even tried to talk her into starting with making children right there.
And for that her parents had forced her into that really uncomfortable dress. She took a deep breath. Maybe she would be able to find at least a friend if not her soulmate here. She strolled through the rooms and garden watching the other princesses and princes. Once more she felt different without knowing how different she felt. Finally she decided to make the best out of this day and go to the library. The sun had vanished behind dark clouds and she didn't see any reason why she shouldn't vanish too. She still had enough time. And no one would really miss her, even on her own festival she wasn't more than a fringe figure.
She just was about to walk around a corner, when she heard some voices talking. She stopped and pressed herself against the wall. Other people were the last thing she wanted right now. Maybe if she just stood there stock still the others would finish their conversation and walk back to the festival. For sure she didn't want to listen to their boring talks but when she heard her name she pricked up her ears.
"The pale redhead?" a shrill voice asked back the one who had dropped her name.
"Sure, who else could I mean. She thinks she's superior. But have you seen how she shrieked when she came near that horse?"
The other voices giggled.
Clarissa confessed, she had shrieked but who wouldn't have if an enormous monster suddenly emerged in front of them its snout torn opened to devour one? It had been a totally normal behavior from her side.
"I heard that her parents don't let her out because she's afraid the wind would blow her away. One time they tried and she screamed till five of their servants were deaf."
Deaf? Clarissa was near to beat them till they were deaf and blind, but she held her anger back, clenched her fists and took a deep breath. It was all about self-control she once had read. Self-control she repeated like a mantra in her mind while she listened to the conversation in front of her.
"The night she was born there was no moon at the sky. All people born in a night like this are labile, my nurse told me. You can scare them if you talk to loud to them."
She had enough, she would show them that nothing in the world scared her. She wasn't a freak, she was just different. Better. Yes, she was better than them and she would prove it to them.
She took a deep breath before she turned around the corner and smiled at them as she passed them on her way out. Her smile grew wider as she noticed them blushing and lowering their heads. Yes, she was still the Princess of this castle.
The sky had darkened up and she could hear a far off thunder. But that didn't count for her. Thunder or not, she would show them that they were the one scared not her. She turned right before she remembered that the stables were left.
"Good horsies." She whispered as she tiptoed through the stable. "Many horses, too many horses." Just now she registered how many horses it took to transport a bunch of idiotic royals. She didn't know where to look first. Right, left, behind and in front of her everywhere horses. They snorted and neighed angrily at her. Suddenly the black stallion on her right stood on its hind legs, slamming its front hoofs into its box. She shrieked and jumped back only to land in a stack of straw. She laid there for a minute, her arms protectively shielding her face before she was brave enough to look up again. A deep sigh escape her mouth as she realized that it hadn't been able to brake through. Actually it had lost its interest in her and was now busy eating its straw. For a second she thought about to confront the beast but that self-destructive whish only lasted for a second. Then she concentrated all her strength to fight her way out of the stack. And it wasn't that easy with her long uncomfortable dress. But she made it. Somehow. But now she felt sweaty and with her dress she looked more than a scarecrow than a princess. From every piece of embroidery hang straw and wiping it away proved itself as impossible.
"Where there any half camels?" Tara heard Willow's voice from her lap.
"No not this time, honey."
"You know, I liked the half camels."
She took off her overdress and stood there only in her underdress. "Now I only have to find something to wear." She talked to herself. "And then I will ride one of those beasts. And if it's the last thing I do in my boring life." She promised herself while she walked further through the stable looking for a calm horse. At the last box she found what she was looking for. It was an old really calm looking horse. And it didn't snap at her when she stood at its box. Definitely a plus. A very big plus. It didn't take her long to find a bridle and next to the bridle she even found a jacket she could wear. It was a little to big for her but it would do to show the snobs just how much better than them she was. She took the bridle back to the old horse's box and carefully she opened the door.
"Good horse. You don't hurt me and I don't hurt you." She soothed, a little tremble in her voice. And the horse seemed to agree. From her books she knew how to saddle a horse and it took her only three trials to implement it. She was really proud of herself although the really hard part was only to come.
She took rein and led the horse out of the stable. The weather didn't look too good, even she could see that but she also knew that if she didn't do it now, she would never be able to do it again. And a little rain couldn't harm her. Not today. She patted the horse´s neck to sooth it and cleared her throat before she made a deal with it. "Good horsie, fine horsie. Nothing to be afraid of. It's just me, plain old Clarissa. And I promise I'm not that heavy, not like some of the other idiots here. Just me. Light as a feather me. And see, I don't wear that heavy dress anymore. And it won't take you long. Only a little ride around the castle. Nothing more, I promise and after that lot of carrots for you. Or straw if you prefer. Just say a word. Well, I know you can't talk but a little neighing of approval will be enough. Fine? Fine." She straightened herself up, took a deep breath and grabbed the saddle. With one foot at the stirrup it only took her some minutes of jumping on one foot around (and the moving horse didn't make it better) before she finally managed to sit onto the saddle.
"Did they ever tell you how high you are." She asked the horse insecurely. "Really high." She added and nodded.
First everything went good. Like she had considered it. The secret lay in the pressure of her thighs. This was the way to lead the horse. But it sounded easier than it was. Somehow they had managed to reach the gate, although she would have had preferred a short round through the garden first, but they could go there later. No need to hurry. Right. First there had to be the "getting one with your best friend the horse" thing, then they could ride, well better walk back.
She could hear the thunder. This time it was nearer than before. Too near. She hadn't known that a thunderstorm could be that fast in approaching her.
"Horse, I don't want to interrupt you but maybe we should…you know…go back. Look, it seems there will be a storm. There you can see the dark clouds and dark clouds mean storm, you know?" When she horse didn't look up she tightened the rein and pressed her right thigh at the horse's back. But now it started to walk to the right, farther away from the castle.
"No wait, we need to go the other way." She grew nervous and pressed her left tight to the horse. But it didn't react. Her nervousness grew bigger. For a moment she thought about climbing down, but it didn't seem like a good idea while the horse was still moving. She started to tear at the reign and press with her tights. But that only made the horse go faster and suddenly she it was in gallop.
"NOOO; bad horsie. Stop, now…….. Please, please. I will never ever climb you again, if you stop now." She pleaded as she wrapped her arms around its neck to find a hold.
And that was when the storm reached her. It didn't take a minute before she was dripping wet, but the horse didn't seem to notice, it only started to gallop even faster. She closed her eyes, her arms tightening their grip around its neck. Even with her eyes open she couldn't see anything. The dark clouds had transformed the day into night. And then there was the thunder. Looking back she didn't know who was more afraid, she or the horse who suddenly stood on its hind legs. She lost her hold and the last thing she knew was that she hit the ground. Very hard.
And everything went black.
"Horses are evil. They're nothing but big ponies. And ponies, small, big or giant are always evil." Willow interrupted.
"It wasn't the horse's fault." Tara tried to tell her, gently brushing Willow's back. "It was scared because of the thunder and Clarissa's hectic movements. It felt her nervousness and got nervous itself."
"Just camouflage." Willow insisted.
"You'll see. Everything has its import. Even a fall from a big pony." Tara bent down to kiss Willow's forehead. "Just be patient, baby."