FIC: Answering Darkness

[molsongrrrl]

strip chess ... what a lovely visual that brings to mind ... very nice update and patiently (ok maybe not so much, but really trying) waiting another part ...

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

[Karzia]

Great update Sass, loved "sexy thinking Willow" oh !! and strip chess yeahhhhhhh, as the former Pres. of my high school chess club ( have I mentioned my nerddom ) I must get the rules from you,( note to self, teach gf how to play Chess).





Edited to add: Thanks for the rules to the strip chess, oh yesy yes yes yes, I must get my set out now deffinitly

"The Bible contains
six admonishments of Homosexuals and 362 of Heterosexuals, That doesn't mean God doesn't love Hetrosexuals, just that they need more supervsion."


Lynn Laver

Edited by: Karzia at: 4/12/02 3:20:21 pm

[Sassette]

**molsongrrl: Heh ... yeah, I really liked that visual, too. Which, of course, is why it was in there in the first place *G*



**Karzia: High school chess club? Now THAT'S cool ... we didn't have a high school chess club, but by golly, I'd have been on it if we had.



And now ... let's see ... Friday night, check ... I have no life (okay, okay ... I have a life, just ... not THIS weekend), check ... no shirt on, check ... planned the next part out, check ...



Okay ... I'm ready to write ... ummm ... gimme, like, five or six hours, since I'm also logged onto some chat programs and will likely be distracted at some point.



-Sass

[TrueXena]

*kicks Sassette out of any of the AIM chat rooms so she will not be distracted!*



I'm always here to help

---------------------

Doc: "I'm the happy peppy pimp, 'cause I don't beat my hos!" / Doc: "...and then they had sex."

Tara: "Its good to be a chicken casserole." -in 'Answering Darkness' By: Sassette

TrueXena: "Get a taste of Religion. Lick a Witch!"

[blameburner]

Um, you're messing with Willow...



*glares at Sass*



Just let the poor girl play with Tara's box and live happily ever after! Puweeeeeeeze???



Loving this story, as usual... I'm a little concerned, though... I'm not seeing a whole lot of overt-Trickster-interference lately... which worries me... a lot...



*narrows eyes and crosses arms over chest, intensifying glare at Sass*

"You are safe, she says. Inherent in you is a truth no artificial world can fade." - The Journey

[Karzia]

yep Chess club, it gets worse..... I was the captain of the team, though we did win State once though if we were playing Strip chess I bet we would have gotten more than geeky boys and one nerdy girl(that would be me ) If we had been playing by the Smutten rules, we could have called it the Chest Chess Club heehehehehehehehehehe

"The Bible contains
six admonishments of Homosexuals and 362 of Heterosexuals, That doesn't mean God doesn't love Hetrosexuals, just that they need more supervsion."


Lynn Laver

[TrueXena]

WHAT?? NO UPDATE YET??



I WANT MY FREGGIN' UPDATE!!!



Sassette!!!!! Dangit, I know you aint in the AIM chat rooms (i'm sitting here watching vigial to make sure of that!).



You best be posting it now, or I'm gonna be IMing you till it is!



In the meantime, lets all look at the pretty avatar I made for when I get to another rank. (i know its gonna take forever! Just wait till I get to "Gay Now", but I wont reveal that avatar just yet)

---------------------

Doc: "I'm the happy peppy pimp, 'cause I don't beat my hos!" / Doc: "...and then they had sex."

Tara: "Its good to be a chicken casserole." -in 'Answering Darkness' By: Sassette

TrueXena: "Get a taste of Religion. Lick a Witch!"

[Sassette]

**TX: And thank you for the helpful kicking - always appreciated

**blameburner: Messing with Willow? Me!? Oh, no, I'd >never< do that. And of course they're going to live happily ever after. They just, y'know, have to go through hell first.

**Karzia: I think the strip chess rules would probably send LOTS of high schoolers to the chess club *G*

**TX(again): Sorry, sorry ... here it is. It's kind of short, though. And cliffhanger-y. I was going to wait until I had a bit more so I could end it in a nicer spot, but I decided to post this so you wouldn't find me and beat me up *G*

This is a REALLY short update, and I'm sorry about that ... I got more distracted than I had expected I would. I have an eight hour class tomorrow, so I really have to sleep now, and I don't know when I'll have the next bit up. Probably Sunday evening at the latest.

This is only the first section of this update - more to follow.

Title: Answering Darkness Part 45a - Glory
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to pink_overalls@yahoo.com
Summary: A few questions get answered. But just a few. I wouldn't want to ruin everything, y'know?
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Tabula Rasa" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I'm just borrowing them.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: For the purpose of this story, all events of Tabula Rasa took place exactly as shown in the series; however, no subsequent episodes will affect this piece. We're splitting from canon here, because I impatiently began writing this before 'Smashed' and 'Wrecked' aired.

Answering Darkness - Part 45a

Glory

By Sassette

"The Fibonacci Series, you say?" Giles asked curiously.

"Yes," Tara said. She moved her hands over the wooden surface, pressing each symbol as she Willow had done minutes before.

"And she figured it out that quickly?" Giles went on, his tone obviously impressed. Every time he thought he had fully grasped just how agile and quick Willow's intellect truly was, she did something to surprise him yet again. Solving this puzzle that quickly was no exception.

"She's a brainy type," Tara said, a small smile playing across her lips.

"I dare say I'm a brainy type," Giles said, his eyebrows raising. "But I doubt I would have figured this out that quickly." Giles felt the truth of his words. In many situations, all that Watcher training couldn't make up for the raw ability of Willow's mind.

Buffy looked over at the Tara and Giles curiously, then peeked around the rest of the room. Dawn was working diligently on the star chart and Xander was reading.

And this, Buffy realized, was how the world was saved.

There were no handy gadgets, no war room with blinking little maps. Just a bunch of clueless kids and an Englishman. All guts, and no glory.

This was what she had been missing, she supposed. There was something about being the Slayer that kept her from feeling alive unless she was balanced on a razor's edge between destruction and salvation. And that's why, when she had returned from the dead, she hadn't really felt anything.

She had saved the world more times than she cared to remember, but still, she found herself looking around her house - her house now, not her mother's - and wondering how her mom had done it all. She hadn't noticed. She hadn't realized. There were a million little things that her mother had kept in the air, juggling them with little to no sign of stress or worry. She had just done what needed to be done.

That was at trait she had inherited from her mother. She needed a little more practice with the more everyday kinds of things, but hadn't she always just done what needed to be done? Gone in and killed the bad guy with no more 'thank you' or 'congratulations' than a sparkly umbrella on prom night and some late night pizza and movie fests?

And she could do it again. She could get back into the swing of things.

All she needed now was something to punch.

Many times.

Really hard.

"Careful," Tara said quickly, as Giles started to lift the lid. "It, umm … I felt something … bad … from it. Willow felt it, too, but it, umm … it kind of, well, it hurt her."

"Actual physical pain?" Giles asked, his eyebrows raising.

Tara merely nodded in response.

"Then … Hmmm …" he said, looking curiously at the box Tara had placed on the table. "How close was she?"

"About a foot away," Tara answered.

"Well, I … hmmm."

"You already said that," Tara pointed out, the corner of her mouth quirking up.

"How about we don't open the WillowPain box?" Xander offered up hopefully. "Because a hurting Willow is an unhappy Willow, and an unhappy Willow is a bad, bad thing."

"I think … I think she should be far enough away," Giles said carefully, his hand reaching out and tapping the lid. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he lifted it up and peered inside.

He could detect, on the outermost edge of his senses, a curious feeling of unease.

"Can't you feel that?" Tara asked softly.

"I do feel a little uneasy," Giles confessed.

"No, it's more than that," Tara insisted, shaking her head a little. "It's … it's very dark. And it's … it doesn't want to be disturbed."

"I'm afraid it's going to have to get used to the idea," Giles said with a frown, removing the lid entirely.

Nestled in its wood frame was a book, though that was hardly surprising, Giles noted. The book itself, however, was very surprising indeed. Its leathery cover was ornamented with strange designs, its surface ripped and slashed and sewn back together. Giles' hand hovered just over the surface of the book, and he peered closer.

He wasn't sure if he could identify just what kind of animal skin was used, or the random odd stains around the gashes.

"It's human," Tara whispered. "The designs are tattoos. The stains are blood."

"Oh, dear," Giles breathed, pulling his hand back sharply, then turning to look at Tara. "How do you know?"

"I, uhh … I don't know," Tara said, backing away from it and shaking her head from side to side. "I just … it's … it's not a nice book."

"Okay, Ewww," Buffy said, staring at the book. Dawn and Xander were likewise staring, twin expressions of revulsion on their faces.

"Why don't we just put the nasty skin-book back? Please tell me we can just put the nasty skin-book back?" Xander pleaded.

"I … I dare say we can't," Giles said after a long moment, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and gingerly retrieving the book.

"Why not? I don't want to play with the nasty skin book," Buffy said, scooting away from it on the couch.

Giles sighed, a look of distaste crossing his face as his eyes were drawn to the book again. "This book was with Tara's mother's things. Presumably, it was passed down through the centuries. That means it was likely with Willow and Tara when Willow faced the Trickster in a previous life."

"So it, what? Can tell us how Willow got rid of him the first time?" Dawn hazarded a guess.

"I certainly hope so," Giles said, a look of approval crossing his face as he nodded at Dawn.

Tara just stared, unable to shake the strange feeling that this book was bad. It meant something bad. It held bad things - bad secrets that should never be brought to light. And it certainly contained powers that should never, under any circumstances, be wielded.

"Do … do you know what it is?" Tara asked slowly.

"I think I might," Giles said with a little nod, using the tip of one finger to open the book. The writing was small and cramped, and he had to lean close to read it, but it was still legible after all these years.

"So, umm … what is it?" Xander asked after a moment.

"Let me do some reading and either confirm or rework my theories, all right?" Giles said, glancing up at him briefly. "Tara, you should check on Willow. Buffy, Xander, you have your own reading. And Dawn, please, work on the star chart, but be careful. It's important not to make mistakes."

Everyone looked at each other uneasily, then went about their assigned tasks.

"Mr. Giles? Is it, umm … safe?" Tara asked uncertainly, moving close and keeping her voice low.

"Yes, it's safe," Giles assured her, patting her hand awkwardly. "But not for everyone," he added cryptically.

Tara nodded, letting Giles' assurances ease the rumblings in her belly, climbing the stairs and moving into her room. Willow lay on the bed, her eyes half-closed with Miss Kitty curled up on her chest.

"Hey, honey," Willow said, her eyes opening when she heard Tara come in. She had been drifting towards sleep, mostly because she didn't have anything better to do, and the feeling of Miss Kitty purring on her chest had been soothing. "So what's in the box?"

"It's a book," Tara said simply, neglecting to go into any detail. There wasn't any real need to tell Willow about how it made her feel or how her skin had crawled and visions of that terrible time when she had not been in her right mind had flashed across her inner-eye. No, that was in the past, and it was best to leave the past where it belonged.

"A book?" Willow said, her brow furrowing. "What kind of book?"

"I don't really know," Tara said with a little shrug. "I didn't bother to stay and find out. Giles is reading it now."

"Oh, well, yeah … I guess that's okay, then," Willow said with a little shrug, her eyes downcast.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked softly, seeing a decidedly unenthusiastic look crossing Willow's face.

"Oh, nothing," Willow said quickly, her brow furrowing. "I think … I'm just a little tired," she confessed. She couldn't tell Tara how useless she was feeling, or how scared. It just wasn't right to dump that kind of thing on her when Tara had so many other things to worry about.

"Yeah? You gonna' take a little nap?" Tara asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing back a bit of Willow's hair.

"Yeah, I think I will," Willow said with a little nod, yawning hugely.

"Okay, sweetheart. If you need anything, I'll just be downstairs. But, umm … I don't want you going down there while that book is out. So yell down if you need me, okay?" Tara requested gently.

"I will," Willow said with a nod. "You do the Scoobyage."

Tara smiled sadly, wishing that Willow could join them. Wishing that Willow was all right. Wishing that lots of things were different. She kissed Willow softly on the forehead, then left the room.

Willow let out a shaking breath, moving her hand out from beneath the covers. A damp cloth hung limply from her shaky fist, and she uncurled her fingers gingerly, looking with wide eyes at the black inky stain on it, and the crackling energy there.

[Jae]

Oh no! That's no good! No good at all, I say! (or write, would be more accurate) You really weren't kidding about the cliffhanger... gah!



But, I must remember.. you won't let this have an unhappy ending, so it will all be okay. Yes. I just must repeat that to myself until the next update. Yes.

[TrueXena]

OOOOOOO BAD WILLOW! BAD BAD BAD!!!



She should not be keeping that stuff from Tara! Shame on her!! BAD WILLOW BAD!



And BAD TARA! BAD BAD BAD!!!



She should not be keeping THAT stuff from Willow either! Shame on her!! BAD TARA BAD!



Shame on them both for keeping stuff from eachother, shame shame shame!!!



Ok I'm done, thanks for the update Sass. I love you, but you know that already.

---------------------

Doc: "I'm the happy peppy pimp, 'cause I don't beat my hos!" / Doc: "...and then they had sex."

Tara: "Its good to be a chicken casserole." -in 'Answering Darkness' By: Sassette

TrueXena: "Get a taste of Religion. Lick a Witch!"

[sheila wt]

Oh goddess... I knew something really bad was coming...



It's funny how we like to suffer, isn't it? The angst in all these stories feels like swords across our hearts but, deep inside, we love every single bit of it. The quiet and nice times just don't mean much if you don't have the angst ones to balance everything and remind you how valuable they are.



At least, that's what I try to tell myself every time I come to a cliffhanger like that... not that it really helps, of course. Who cares about logic after reading that????



What the heck do we have to do to make these two really talk to each other??? Talk about screwed up overprotectiveness (this one I had to look it up, wasn't sure if this word really existed...)!

Sheila

...................................................................


Willow: "If you felt lost and alone? Where would you go?"

Tara:"To you."

[ExtraFlameyWT]

I agree with TrueXena---BAD BAD BAD!!!



I wish I had waited for you to have the second part up, now I'm all impacient!! Who am I kidding-I'm always impacient!



Awesome, Sass! Now, Willow yells down to Tara and they tell eachother the truth, right? Right?



UPDATE SOON!! please!



-Aimee



*******

"Hey Will, this is me. It doesn't all have to be good and fine. This is the room where you don't have to be brave. I still love you. If you're worried, you can be worried." -Tara to Willow in ep. 603 Afterlife

[Willowfan]

Oh man...Inky black crackling stuff is a DEFINATE bad sign.

And Tara....she went through feeling useless when she first joined the scoobies...she should know the signs!

Can't witches read signs?!

All I can say is Secrets don't keep friends and Friends don't keep secrets

They should all know this!!

Great update...heck, great story!!

Keep up the fantastic work, Sass..

Willowfan

That's right puppy....Willow's gonna make you bark."-The Wish

Edited by: Willowfan at: 4/13/02 2:03:08 am

[TrueXena]

I'm bored (and NOT, I repeat NOT a writer!) but damn it, I can't sleep till this is resolved!



FAKE Update AD 45b



Willow woke from her nap with the sound of her name on a whisper.



"Willow, are you awake?" Tara asked again near the redheads ear.



Willow responded by slowly stretching out her legs, and raising her arms above her head to do the same. "mmmm, I am now."



Tara cuddled closer. "Do you think you're awake enough to talk?"



Willow rolled over onto her back to face the blonde witch. "What's wrong? I know somethings wrong by the way you asked me that. What is it?" Willow asked while mentally going through a list of possible things that could or might go wrong in the next few days.



Tara placed her head on Willow's chest before begining. Willow ran her fingers through the blonde locks splayed before her.



"We need to talk about some thing I've been keeping secret." Tara was unsure of how to begin this conversation for months now and still hadn't come up with a better way than to outright tell it like it was.



Willow frowned at this, then mentally reminded herself that she too had been keeping things from Tara. Her face softened, and she made a small sound, which would let Tara know that the information was processed but would be discussed after all had been told.



"Well its these visions I've been having." Tara waited for Willow to say something or do something. She lay there for almost a minute before continueing. "They are of w-when I was.." Tara trailed off, not sure if she could actually tell the woman that she loved about the horrid wakeing nightmares shes had.



"Tara." Willow whispered into the blondes hair. "Remember, this is the room where you don't have to be brave, and I still love you."



Tara smiled at the words she once used to get Willow to open up. Lifting her head she looked into the green eyes of the woman she loved so deeply, and lost herself in them.



"I love you Willow." the blonde whispered.



"I love you Tara." Willow said as she leaned in to kiss the lips she knew well.



*and because I'm NOT the writer, I did disclaim that before I started this right? Here is the rest of the scene*



Both snuggled up to eachother. Tara told Willow about the visions she'd been having ever since the ordeal with Glory. Willow told of her fears of dying and having Tara watch it happen, and about the black goo episode she had and kept silent about, like a bad bad little girl.



Tara agreed to let Willow know if she had another bout of the visions. Willow agreed not to keep the black goo episodes from Tara again. As well as not to leave Sunnydale without the written authorization of Tara. In triplicate!



After that they had a nice smutty romp in the bedsheets with lots and lots of moaning being heard clear downstairs.



END SCENE!



Ok I feel much better now. You may now go back to your regularly scheduled posts.

---------------------

Doc: "I'm the happy peppy pimp, 'cause I don't beat my hos!" / Doc: "...and then they had sex."

Tara: "Its good to be a chicken casserole." -in 'Answering Darkness' By: Sassette

TrueXena: "Get a taste of Religion. Lick a Witch!"

[Canadian Kitty]

Ok, I sense conspiracy. fess up Sass. You and Wiccachica both did the cliffhanger thing so that you could spend the weekend frolicking in each others laps on the premise that it will get your creative juices flowing.



CK

"You wanna go out sometime, for coffee, food, kisses and gay love?" Willow- Normal Again.

[Bobos Mom]

Sass,

Love the mini - would adore the maxi...



Wait. That came out wrong. Why to I sound like a feminine protection product ad this morning?

BM

*********

TARA: Willow and I always know how to find each other!

ANYA: With yoga?

[Kailyn Of Povar]

TX--you forgot the angsty bit--



The book--the Great Book of Evil for Dummies (Hungry Minds, Inc; ISBN: 1366613666; (January 3, 666)) in fact-- being able to draw on the power flowing though Willow because of the darkness in her (remember Willow and Tara always float after even just good sex, and this being a FF, and more importantly Sass FF*, they always have fantastic sex), slow floated up the stairs of the Summers Home, past the sleeping key (it could tell) and the slayer (Valley Girl Slayer--it tried not to think about that, at risk of its sanity) and came to a stop in front of the witches door.



Slowly the book opened. If you listened carefully you could hear the wail of poor SOB who was the books cover, he was kind of stiff after not being able to move for the better part of 200 years. Fortunately, Buffy’s sleeping mind had de-tuned her hearing so she could sleep with Giles SNORING in the living room and continued sleeping in blissful ignorance. Actually the Great Book of Evil for Dummies, less opened, than managed to flop its top cover over, exposing its fore endpapers. Inside there was a nameplate:



This Tome Stolen from the sanity warping, soul stealing, and all round licky library of Hastur H. Hastur. And no, my father did NOT like me very much.



Willow, being drawn by the resonance with the Great Book of Evil for Dummies, thought she had to go to the bathroom, and stumbling with sleep bleary eyes, did not notice the book and slammed it into the wall. The poor SOB who was the cover wailed some more--a good stretch was hard to come by but this was all too sudden. Willow kept on her way to the bathroom.



The Great Book of Evil For Dummies, not being a dummy itself, decided that it needed some light (Mom always said that he did need to have more light for reading) found the hallway light switch and patiently waited in ambush back in front of Willow and Tara's bedroom door, secretly relieved that none of its pages had been bent.



Willow, fell into the Great Book of Evil for Dummy’s plan perfectly. Being a sleep befuddled nerd, when she saw the book (thanks to the light actually being ON this time) did what came naturally. She reached out with one hand, grabbing on to the book, while pushing the bedroom door open with the other, while sleepily reading the bookplate, aloud.



Tara, who, thanks to some earlier spicy talk, was sleeping in the nude. She was semi-conscious, having been drawn out a light sleep, and thinking that she was feeling...spicy. She heard Willow coming back to the room then oddly say "and all round icky library of Hastur H Hastur...I wonder who Ha..." Tara went from full stop to full action, diving, nude across the space better her and Willow. Time stopped, you, the readers are treated to a nice 360 degree, Bullet time view, of nude Tara diving for Willow. Time starts again, and diving nude Tara manages to cover Willow mouth with her hand and wrap her legs around Willows waist. Not wanting to land on Willow, she turns them as the fall so they land on her...with an Oof.



The Great Book of Evil for Dummies goes spinning of Willow's hand and slams into a wall, stretching again, is still stiff cover. The Great Book of Evil for Dummies takes comfort in the fact that it did not bend a corner.



----



This piece of weirdness brought to you by the landscaping crew that was here at 8 AM.



*Meaning that because AD is a fantastic Fan Fic, that Willow and Tara have fantastic sex, and should in no way be construed as criticism of this superior piece of work.



PS I have no clue what happened to the Angst.



-YuriPup

Edited by: Kailyn Of Povar  at: 4/13/02 6:38:48 am

[wiccachica]

CK wrote:

Quote:

---

Ok, I sense conspiracy. fess up Sass. You and Wiccachica both did the cliffhanger thing so that you could spend the weekend frolicking in each others laps on the premise that it will get your creative juices flowing.

---

Heh...heh...What? No hoorays for the scary/baddy bad cliffhangers?



At least Sass can WRITE while she's on my lap....I don't see how anyone can expect me to do the same when she is sitting here sans shirt....



It's against the laws of physics...and other laws that I just made up...to NOT be distracted...



I plead for your understanding...



(sob)



-chica

" I mock you with my Monkey Pants!" - OZ


" You're NOT the source of me" - Buffy


" Tremble!" - Gacknar

[Karzia]

Ya know Sass, you have really made it in the world of FF when people get so antsy for updates that they start writting their own

"The Bible contains
six admonishments of Homosexuals and 362 of Heterosexuals, That doesn't mean God doesn't love Hetrosexuals, just that they need more supervsion."


Lynn Laver

[Grimaldi]

i liked this first part. even if it was a little disturbing, with Willow and Tara keeping secrets and the book made of human skin.

"All these people are completely fucked. Metaphorically speaking, that is."



"Well I geuss we'll have to roshambo for it"



Aaaaaa yer brother blows bubble gum

[Wolflord]

Secrets don't keep friends and Friends don't keep secrets

How true....can't wait to see what happens now.

Sometimes I think of them doing spells and I have a spell by myself.

[LeatherQueen]

OH wow... a book made of human skin. How very... icky. Yet appropriate.



And yes, I too, am amazed that Sass can still write while half naked and in chica's lap. But I truly don't blame chica for not being able to write... who would in her place? I think it'd be a little... distracting.



Anyhoo... great update! And yes, bad on Willow and Tara for keeping all these nasty secrets.

--------------------------------


"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." - Glory


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

Edited by: LeatherQueen at: 4/13/02 9:34:46 am

[WebWarlock]

Ooooo! Very cool with the Big Book of Evil, Sass.



Yes the girls are keeping entirely to many secrets from each other and both need a good solid spanking. Since I don't believe in corporal punishment myself can I see the hand of volunteers…ok, hmmm, I don’t think they have been THAT bad to merit a spanking from all of you.



Now all wee need is Ash to come in with his shotgun and one hand (cause the other went bad) to say "groovy".



To get an idea of what *I* thought of when Sass described the book look at this pic, home.swipnet.se/~w-12947/...mydk07.jpg and home.swipnet.se/~w-12947/...mydk06.jpg . It's the Necronomicon from the "Evil Dead" series of movies. Yes, it is a very evil book.



Warlock

-----

Web Warlock,
web.warlock@attbi.com

The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/theotherside/

ShadowEarth Games: http://www.rpghost.com/WebWarlock/

Liber Mysterium: the Netbook of Witches and Warlocks

[AutumnT]

Damn. You know they really couldn't have put more effort into that spell. I was certain it was going to work.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy: I could wrestle naked in grease for a living and still be cleaner than after a shift at the Doublemeat.

Willow: Plus, I'd visit you at work every single day.

[Sassette]

**Jae: Of course I wasn't kidding about the cliffhanger ... but at least it wasn't the bloody cliffhanger I promised Puff ... that comes later.



**TX: Yes. Bad Willow. Bad Tara. And I love you, too.



**sheila_wt: Well, to me, the angst is kind of like the price of admission to the happy times *shrug* It'll definitely have a happy ending, though, and W/T will have more than earned it.



**ExtraFlameyWT: Umm, not quite. What happens next has very little to do with talking.



**Willowfan: Yes ... very VERY bad sign. As for Tara noticing ... she knows something's wrong ... but, duh - she figures it's just the usual "A Hell God is after me and the world could end" angst.



**TX: Heh ... very nice - but not quite how I see it playing out.



**CK: Oh, that's a good point ... and, honestly, just a nice little side-benefit. The cliffhanger is there because I'm in a class from 8:30am to 4pm today, and I had to get to sleep ... I really couldn't stay up until the wee hours finishing the update, no matter how much I wanted to.



**Bobos Mom: Heh, ummm ... I have no idea. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to guess *shrug*



**Yuri: Very nice, but again, not quite how I see it playing out *G* Though I really liked the freeze frame bullet time stuff. That was nice.



**wiccachica: Multi-tasking - it's not just for computers.



**Karzia: Yeah, that's what I figured. Like a musician knows they've made it when Weird Al filks one of their songs, or they go into a karaoke bar and see some drunk person belting out one of their songs. It's really very flattering.



**Grimaldi: Yup. The book was kind of grisly, but it has a story behind it I've worked out in my poor little head. I have no idea if it's going to come to light in the body of this fic, but it will play at least a minor part and impart some information as books often do.



**Wolflord: Heh ... yeah, me too Sure, I have it all planned out, but I invariably change SOMETHING from the plan every time I write a part.



**LeatherQueen: There are very few places and situations in which I can't write, which is why I write fairly fast when I'm focused on it.



**WebWarlock: Ummm ... no spanking for our girls, unless they're spanking each other. And I had completely forgotten about what the book in Army of Darkness looked like ... but no, Ash won't be making an appearance in this fic.



**Autumn: Yeah ... odd to think it didn't work .... they were certainly ... enthusiastic.



-Sass

[Owl]

Alrighty, then…. Since it seems to be Fake Update Day (aka Saturday), I figured I’d join in the fun. Because1) Pixie made me do it… Just delivering what you asked for, babe. 2) Everybody else is doing it. 3) I’m scared!!!!! I need a distraction!



This has a lot to do with the fake updates on the old thread. Sort of taking off from WiccansIllusion's last bit.

This takes place after the Big Bad Book of Evil for Dummies is removed from W/T’s room. Willow, unable to resist Tara after that nifty business with the naked leaping and the slow motion does what any normal person would do and seduces her. Again. So, the next day, at the Magic Box…… The following occurs.

It’s kind of long. Sorry. I got a bit carried away….





Fake Update: AD 45 d: Panty Raid.



“What on earth was that?” Giles grumbled as he wearily picked himself up from the Magic Box floor, only to wish he’d stayed down. Buffy had come flying out of the training room as soon as the quake had subsided, and was now pounding her fists against Giles’ chest with superhuman vigor.



“No More Apocalypses!” She railed, punctuating the last word with an especially robust strike to the ribs which sent Giles sprawling against the counter. He sent her a particularly irritated glare in response. “Er… Sorry,” she grimaced, redirecting her energy by pacing frantically. “It’s just… Giles! I can’t deal with another Apocalypse right now! I have a job, and … and Dawn! And responsibilities!”



“Buffy, now just calm down for a minute. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for an earthquake in southern California.” Giles said logically.



Just as Buffy was preparing to whine that they had been over this before, Anya spoke up from her place by the front window. “There is.”



“Excuse me?” Giles queried, glad for once at Anya’s interruption.



“It’s Sassette. You know, the Smitten Goddess?”



“And what leads you to that conclusion?” Giles smirked.



“Well, the giant plaid cloud is kinda a dead giveaway, don’t you think?” She answered, with more than enough of an implied “duh.”



“Don’t be ridiculous,” Giles scoffed.



“Yeah. Since when do clouds come in plaid?” Buffy wondered, as she walked over to the window. “Oh,” she remarked when she saw the big plaid cloud in the sky. “That kind.”



“That’s odd,” Giles remarked. “Why would…”



“It means that the Smittens have called upon Sassette. It happens every so often. She’s probably come to enforce some sort of promise,” Anya answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.



“Excuse me?” Giles and Buffy said in unison.



“Here,” Anya said, grabbing a book, and finding the appropriate page.



“Hmmm,” said Giles… “A couple calls upon Sassette and asks her for a favor… and if… if it doesn’t work, or if the promise is in danger of being broken, the Goddess herself comes down to enforce it, is that right?”



His musings were interrupted by a loud “Woo Hoo!” from Willow, who was under the table (and also under a very mischievous Tara).



“Willow!” Buffy yelled clapping her hand over Dawn’s eyes instinctively.



“She… Geez, Buffy! It’s nothing like that! She tickled my Woo Hoo button,” Willow responded innocently, pulling herself to her feet.



Buffy’s mouth dropped and Dawn squirmed, ‘Will? Your “Woo Hoo button?!’ I don’t even wanna know, so don’t tell me. You guys just… Go to your room, OK?”



“Buffy!” Willow squeaked. “My Woo Hoo button isn’t… naughty! It’s my belly! Like the Pillsbury Dough Boy! Y’know, Woo Hoo!” she floundered helplessly while Tara smirked and waggled her eyebrows knowingly.



Giles coughed significantly. When he didn’t receive the desired reaction, he coughed again, even more pointedly. He finally gave up, and said, “Hello!? Coughing here! Doesn’t that mean anything to you people?”



“Right. Sorry. What did you find, Giles?” Anya asked over-politely.



“Listen to this spell… ‘Sassiegs. Wateryu rae t’ingthis far. M’jer nal. Thadsnew.’ Then… then the casters make a wish, and then, it ends with ‘huh what.’ It sounds like some sort of Dadaist conversation. Sassiegs is the name Sassette in Smitten. Someone could have canted this accidentally… If anyone actually talked that way. Hrm. Sassy eggs… ” Secretly, he thought that sounded a bit like something a certain person he knew just might say. ******1****



Later, back at the Summers’ home, some strange happenings…



*Ding Dong*



Dawn ran to the door first, and squeaked with delight when she saw who it was. A group of red haired ladies was assembled outside the door, dressed in what appeared to be Catholic schoolgirl uniforms. Some of them looked a bit old to be Catholic schoolgirls, and the redhead in front was struggling furiously with her stockings, but none of this mattered to Dawn, for the ladies (and what appeared to be a couple of gents) were selling Girl Scout cookies. (As you may have already guessed, it also did not matter that the ‘girls’ were clearly not Girl Scouts.) “Wait here,” she demanded, and ran upstairs to beg some money off of Willow, who would certainly oblige.



She burst into the appropriate bedroom only to find a masked stranger, dressed in spy gear, rummaging around in Willow’s underwear drawer, and piling the panties into a sack. Dawn squealed her best Dawnie squeal and grabbed the nearest weapon she could find. Willow’s stapler.

The stranger gasped in horror and stumbled backwards towards the window. “Nooo!” she cried out, clearly afraid.



Dawnie opened the stapler up and began to fire at the terrified intruder, with a great Click, Scrape… Ping! Click, Scrape….. Ping!, until the stranger tumbled out of the window and landed on the grass below with a satisfying thud.



When the others saw their clumsy comrade fall, they fled, leaving the cookies behind, and called for stronger backup. Minutes later, a lovely Asian woman sauntered up to the door and rang the bell. Dawn answered the door with a labrys in one hand, only to be knocked out cold by the stunning beauty of her attacker’s weapon: the Haiku.



The successful one smirked, and strode up the stairs purposefully. When she arrived at the bedroom, she made short work of nabbing the sack full of panties, and snatching a box marked “Tara’s box of secrets” with a leering happy face drawn on for good measure on her way out. (Lucky for her, Tara had been moving some of her stuff back in). “Mission accomplished,” she thought as she walked out the front door, not realizing that she’d left her masked companion behind.



When the masked one came to, she was tied to a chair in the living room, and had some very angry cookie-munching scoobies staring at her.



“I’ll handle this, ladies,” Xander proclaimed, striding forward manfully. “Alright. I just want to know one thing… What’s the deal with the panties?”





******1***** footnote: This is my messed up version of the conversation from “Forever.”

Fade in on Willow and Tara's dorm room. Tara sits on the bed studying. Willow lies on her stomach next to Tara, writing in her diary.

WILLOW: What did I have for breakfast this morning? Do you remember?

TARA: Hmm?

WILLOW: I-I wanna say bagel, but I think that was yesterday. You had two eggs sunny-side-up. (grins) I remember 'cause they were wiggling at me like little boobs.

TARA: (grins) Sassy eggs. (Willow continues writing) What are you writing this for?

WILLOW: My journal.

Tara puts her book aside and lies on her stomach next to Willow. She puts her hand on Willow's non-writing hand.

TARA: That's new.

WILLOW: Yeah. I-I figured, life goes by so fast, if you don't write stuff down it just gets ... lost. And I wanna remember.

TARA: Down to every last bagel.

WILLOW: (grins, looks Tara in the eye) Down to every last everything I do with you.

Willow returns to writing, the fingers of her other hand still twined with Tara's. Tara looks past Willow toward the bookcase.

TARA: Huh.

WILLOW: (stops writing) What?

TARA: What happened to History of Witchcraft?

Tara gets up as Willow tries to hide her guilty look.

Edited by: Owl at: 4/13/02 2:23:29 pm

[Karzia]

Well now the fun never ends. Well to give even more entertaning things to mark time till the next update, I propose virtual strip chess. As the new captain of the Smuttens team I will open. QP2 -> QP4

"The Bible contains
six admonishments of Homosexuals and 362 of Heterosexuals, That doesn't mean God doesn't love Hetrosexuals, just that they need more supervsion."


Lynn Laver

[Canadian Kitty]

Ohh Owl. LOL!!! The stapler returns, and with an added sound! You have no idea how much I needed this laugh. Thank you. *CK squeezes Owl lovingly, with minimal groping*



CK

"You wanna go out sometime, for coffee, food, kisses and gay love?" Willow- Normal Again.

[Drakkenfyre]

EWWW!!! Icky black stuff, suddenly I am not very happy

No more Willow pain, no more angst, no more cliffhangers, okay, I know I am just howling at the moon, but, I felt a tirade coming and couldn't stop myself.

Please do continue, I love this fic and just can't stop reading it. *apologizes for the above tirade*

"We few, we happy few."
"We band of buggered."

[Sassette]

**Owl: Plaid cloud? Staplers? *snicker* Very nice ... I'll try to have an update soon, but I'm doing the dinner with the family thing, so I don't know when I'll have time to type it up.



**Karzia: Virtual strip chess? *g* I'd play, but since I'm rather evil, I wouldn't be able to resist the lure of cheating ... I'd just fire up this chess game here, put it on max setting, make all the moves you do, then reply here on board with the moves the computer makes. And that's hardly fair, is it?



**CK: Hmph! I expect maximum gropings on this thread. Maximum Gropings! Now, no groping the other kittens unless you're going to go 'all out'.



**Drakkenfyre: Yeah, I know - it's going to be rather angsty for awhile. But then it's going to be all sweetness and light, I promise.



-Sass