Hey y'all!!
Thanks all so much for the comments and the feedback, it is really appreciated! It makes it much more worth it to continue writing!!
Early update because I'm leaving tonight, I'm going to spend the weekend down in New York with friends.
Have a great weekend everybody!!
“If you break down, I’ll drive out and find you; If you forget my love, I’ll try to remind you, And stay by you when it don’t come easy” –When It Don’t Come Easy, Patty Griffin
***********
Willow leaned on the bathroom counter and groaned softly as she made a sudden movement, her bruised ribs making themselves known. She took slow, deep breaths and closed her eyes as she waited for the burning sensation to fade.
The redhead sighed as she finished buttoning down her shirt. It wasn’t exactly matching her dark blue sweat pants, but Tara had picked out the red woollen shirt for her because it was warm and easy to put on.
The shower she had just taken was her second of the day, but she still didn’t feel warm or completely clean. She felt like something was crawling under her skin and she hated it.
It had been a week since she had fell asleep on the blonde, but it felt more as if three months had gone by.
Willow was doing her best to stay calm, to try and live a normal life or, at least, as normal as she could, until next month but the concerned glances she kept getting from everyone made it hard for her to forget about the werewolf problem.
The redhead was getting anxious for Giles to get there so they could finally get some answers. All the research they had done so far didn’t give any results, even with her researching skills.
Refusing to look at herself in the mirror, Willow ran a lazy hand through her hair and left the bathroom.
She dragged her feet on the carpet, oddly enjoying the sensation of the thick fabric on her skin. She could smell food being cooked downstairs but, if she wasn’t particularly hungry, the smell of coffee was definitely tempting her.
Willow was about to go downstairs when she heard rustling sounds coming from the slayer’s room. Curious, she peeked in and watched her friend with amusement. Buffy was sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed and was going through piles of papers and books. “I thought you were done with homework. Like forever.”
Buffy raised her head and smiled at her best friend. “Hey Will. What’s up?”
“I should be the one asking that, what’s with all the papers and stuff?” Willow asked as she made her way into the room, her steps hesitant.
The slayer immediately caught the redhead’s anxiety and smiled easily at her. “Willow, you can come in my room anytime you want, you know that. You don’t have to be so nervous, I don’t bite.”
‘Damn.’ “Willow I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant! I was just you know, trying to lighten up the mood. Obviously I suck at it,” Buffy muttered.
Willow shook her head and slowly sat next to her friend. “It’s okay. Besides, looks like I’m the one who bites now,” she joked deadpan.
“Don’t.” Buffy glared. “Don’t joke about that, okay? We’ll find a way to fix this.”
Willow met her friend eyes and was grateful to see the warmth and care in them. Even though things were not perfect between them, once Buffy geared into protective mode, nothing could stop her from keeping her promises. “Thank you.”
Buffy grinned and wrapped an arm around the redhead’s waist. “No one messes with my Willow.”
Willow nodded and shuddered as her mind wandered to Rack. ‘No, you don’t.’
Not letting dark memories ruin the mood, the witch leaned into the slayer’s embrace and smirked. “You know, you sure are hugging me a lot these days. Something you want to tell me?” Willow chuckled as she returned the hug happily.
“Smart ass,” Buffy shot back with a mock-scowl. “Maybe it took my best friend going through something huge to make me realize how much of an ass I’ve been to her.”
“Oh. So you’ve heard about me coming out and stuff, huh?”
Willow smiled, happy to have managed to make her best friend laugh when Buffy snickered and erupted in laughter a second later. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard you laugh like that. I’ve missed it,” she admitted with a soft smile.
Buffy cleared her throat and shot Willow a pensive look. “Yeah, I guess,” she agreed as she put her head on the redhead’s shoulder. “We’ll be happy again. We’ll fix whatever crap is going on and it’ll get better. It’s already getting better for you, with Tara being back and all.”
“Yeah...”
Willow hesitated before being interrupted by Buffy. “No. Don’t even go there. She is here because she loves you, not because she feels obligated to be here.”
Willow frowned stubbornly. “What’s the difference?”
“What’s the- Argh! Come on Willow, don’t be stupid! Stop trying to convince yourself she’s going to leave again.”
“But-”
“I swear to God, if you don’t stop doubting her being here I’m going to have to ki...do something you’re not going to like. Like make you eat nothing but Brussels sprouts for a month.”
Willow groaned at the slayer’s slip. Hesitantly, she reached out and cupped her friend’s cheek. “Buffy, stop it. I’m not mad, and Tara isn’t either. You did it because otherwise I probably would have ripped your head off,” she said with a pained expression. “Besides, it doesn’t even hurt anymore, I’m good as new. Well, almost, but you know. And, I happen to love Brussels sprouts, so there.” She teased her with a grin.
Buffy rolled her eyes before watching her closely for any sign of pain. She sighed and nodded, looking relieved to have her friend’s forgiveness for having hit and kicked her while she was being a werewolf.
“Still...”
“Okay, new rule. If I don’t get to say but, well you know the conjunction not the body part because I do enjoy saying that word occasionally since I don’t like to use the ‘a’ word, you don’t get to say still when you make it sound like a but. Deal? What?” Willow stared at Buffy, not sure what to think of the slayer’s beaming expression.
Her doubts changed into curiosity as her best friend moved closer so she was sitting face to Willow and put her hands on her knees. “It’s been a while too since I’ve heard you babble like that. I really missed it.”
Both friends looked at each other and smiled. Buffy squeezed the witch’s leg briefly before smirking. “Do I smell Tara pancakes?”
Willow snorted but nodded. “Yeah. We should go before she gets mad and refuses to let us have funny shapes.”
Buffy’s eyes opened wide and she jumped on her feet. “Come on, slowpoke! I need funny shape pancakes!”
“Pancakes will have to wait a few minutes, I think,” Tara said quietly from the doorway.
Willow and Buffy turned to shot horrified glances at the blonde, but someone standing next to her distracting them from any imminent food
issue. “Giles?”
The watcher smiled and walked into the room. “Hello girls.”
Buffy made a step forward to embrace him but turned around and helped Willow up first. “Giles. It’s about time, don’t you think?”
The man scoffed at her behavior, far from being impressed. “Yes, well it took longer than I expected to find the friend that I’ve told you about.”
“Yeah, well. Did you at least get some answers for us?” Buffy asked impatiently, but Giles wasn’t listening. He and Willow were looking at each other, neither of them moving.
Willow teared up as Giles watched her attentively. Now that he was facing her, she didn’t feel as relieved as she thought she would be. His experienced eyes on her made her feel ashamed and she fought back the need to squirm. He knew what had happened that night. He knew everything about her addiction and her downfall.
Willow was so lost in her thoughts that she only stirred out of them when she felt a masculine hand on her shoulders. “Willow?”
“Hey Giles,” she whispered when she finally dared to look at him.
The watcher smiled softly and surprised her as he hugged her warmly. “Willow...Come on, there is someone I would like you to meet.”
**********
“Are you certain? Do you not remember anything else?”
Giles sighed and pinched his nose warily at the glare Willow sent Callie’s way. They had been discussing the situation for about an hour already but they weren’t getting anywhere.
The woman was a good friend of Giles’ and had made the trip from Dublin to Sunnydale so she could meet with the redhead and help figure out what had happened to her. She was in her late thirties, tall, had long dark hair and bright, hazel eyes so intuitive even Buffy couldn’t hold her gaze for too long before having to look away.
She was observing Willow with a patience the redhead obviously didn’t share. Giles could see she looked about to bolt when Tara put a comforting hand on the girl’s arm. “Sweetie, please.”
Willow groaned and clenched her fists on her lap. “I don’t remember, Tara! What do you want me to do, lie?”
“Of course, not, I just meant-”
“I know what you meant but it’s not helping!” she snapped impatiently. This is not how it was supposed to go. Giles was supposed to bring books, or information, anything that could help her. Instead he had brought home a stranger who kept asking questions she couldn’t even answer.
Tara glanced between her girlfriend, Callie and Buffy. She and the slayer exchanged concerned looks at the tone in Willow’s voice. The witch couldn’t let things get out of control again. “Willow...” she warned her as she slightly squeezed the girl’s arm.
Willow scowled and brushed off Tara’s hand to cross her arms over her chest, but she remained seated on the couch.
“Willow, she’s trying to help. You snapping at everyone won’t get you anywhere so stop sulking and let her help,” she ordered, her voice firm.
Everyone looked at Tara, surprised at her outburst. Willow gaped at her, plain hurt visible on her pale features. She hesitated a moment before her hand went to her neck to caress the tiny dragonfly pendant she wore. She let it rest between her fingers before forcing herself to look at Callie. “What was the question again?”
“Buffy said you were sick the night before the first change because you had found Lethe’s Bramble in a book. How did it get there?” Callie asked kindly, her eyes focused on Willow but also on the rest of the room.
The older woman smiled appreciatively at the way Tara handled her girlfriend’s edgy behavior. The redheaded girl was powerful, much more than what Giles had led her to believe. She was relieved to see that she had another strong witch by her side to keep her grounded, and that she was surrounded by people who loved her.
If things turned out the way she thought they might, she would need all the love and support they could give her.
Willow puffed her cheeks and exhaled slowly. She hesitated a moment too long, which sent Buffy to jump off the couch and walk right in front of her friend. “Will?”
Buffy imperceptibly shook her head to Tara, silently asking her to let her talk. The slayer sat down on the coffee table so she would be on eye level with her friend and leaned forward until their knees touched. “Willow. Please, you have to tell us if it’s not what happened. We won’t be mad, I promise.
“You promised me, Will. You promised me there wouldn’t be any more lies between us.”
She had kept her voice low and soft, doing her best so it wouldn’t sound like she was patronizing or judging her. Buffy opened herself and didn’t shy away when crestfallen green eyes finally looked back at her.
“I ran into Amy,” Willow whispered reluctantly.
The redhead gulped with difficulty and fought back the fear that crept up her spine when she felt Tara tense beside her. Buffy only stared blankly at her and, right now, Willow couldn’t tell which one of those reactions made her feel the worst.
“You promised me there wouldn’t be any more lies,” Buffy finally murmured, disappointed.
“Wait-” Willow said quickly as she grabbed the slayer’s wrist, keeping her from leaving. “Ok, I lied but I swear I didn’t do any magics! She didn’t either, I mean she’s still practicing but she didn’t while I was there, and I didn’t do anything!”
“Tara, you can test me if you want, you’ll see that I’m not lying, and, and besides you’ve been here for days, you would have felt it if I had done any magics!” Willow was panicking now at the idea of losing the trust she had finally gained back from her best friend and girlfriend.
She had just got Tara back, she couldn’t lose her again.
“Tara, please, you have to believe me,” she begged, tears now falling freely down her cheeks.
Willow held her breath when Tara looked at her. There was doubt in her eyes, and it made Willow’s insides twist in pain and shame.
Unable to stand it anymore, the redhead tried to leave but Tara snagged a piece of her shirt to keep her in place. “C-close your eyes.”
Not daring to disobey or question anything, Willow closed her eyes and waited. She unwillingly gasped when the blonde witch pressed her
hand over her heart. It wasn’t long before Willow felt warmth spreading through her skin, bones and muscles.
It pinched and stung, but the uncomfortable sensations quickly faded to a faint ache to be replaced with a soft tingling that she recognized well. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Willow enjoyed Tara’s energies flowing inside of her, sighing once the warmth disappeared, leaving her cold and empty again.
A pair of loving blue eyes welcomed her when she hesitantly opened hers. Tara was smiling at her, and Willow thought she would burst in tears when the blonde kissed her on the cheek before briefly caressing her lips against her own. “I love you,” she breathed out tenderly. “I’m proud of you, baby. She’s telling the truth.” Tara added for the others’ benefits.
Willow grinned widely but sobered quickly as she turned around to glance at her best friend. Buffy was watching them quietly from the doorway. Willow never even noticed the slayer moving away from her.
“Buffy...”
The slayer took a deep breath while twisting her hands anxiously. “Why did you lie to me, Willow?”
“Technically I didn’t lie, I did find the flower in my book. I just didn’t mention Amy because I was scared. I guess I wasn’t thinking clearly, I’m sorry.”
Buffy was still hesitating. She wasn’t mad, not really. She was mostly hurt at being lied to again. “I don’t get why you’re still protecting her. We don’t even know what she’s been up too since Rack’s, she’s bad news, Will!”
“What? I am not protecting her! She approached me and I left! What is so hard to understand! I mean, I know you’re blonde, Buffy, but jeez!”
“Willow!”
Tara stared at her girlfriend, aghast. “Willow, you are so out of line!”
“Buffy-”
The blonde witch started to speak, but the slayer raised her hand to interrupt her. “I,I need to go kill something or I’m going to say or do something I might regret later.”
The shorter blonde shot a dismayed look to Willow before turning on her heels and left. “It’s not even dark out,” Tara mumbled, wincing as the door was slammed closed.
“Willow,” Giles tried to get the girl’s attention. He and Tara shared a look when Willow jumped to her feet. “Will-”
“Don’t Will me!” she growled as she went for the stairs and climbed them quickly, slamming the bedroom door upstairs.
The three remaining occupants of the room sat where they were, stunned. “What the bloody hell just happened?” Giles briskly asked Tara.
“I have n-no idea. She isn’t taking the werewolf thing well, but she was never mean to Buffy b-before,” Tara explained, not clearly understanding what had just happened.
Giles cleared her throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Do you want to-”
“No,” the witch cut him off. “She needs to cool off. And if I go now I might say something I’ll regret later too. Right now I need to know if you found anything or not. No more interrogations.”
Callie slowly focused on Tara, her mind still reeling on what had just happened. “Um, actually, I’m afraid we don’t have many answers yet. If we take into consideration what Miss Rosenberg has been telling us, combined with Miss Summers’ explanations and yours, there are some theories we need to discuss.”
“Such as?” Tara inquired, even though she was distracted. She wanted to run upstairs to talk to Willow, but both needed time to set their minds straight. The blonde herself felt frustrated by the situation. They were back together but Willow always found a way to avoid having the ‘talk’ ever since the last full moon.
Tara hadn’t wanted to push Willow while she was still kind of recovering from her first two shiftings, but they would need to sit down to talk, and sooner the better.
Meanwhile, while the redhead was cooling down, she might as well fish around to see if Callie and Giles had something pertinent to say or not.
“From what I was told, Willow was not bitten, or scratched by anyone or anything? Very well.” Callie began after Tara nodded. “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you sure, absolutely sure?”
Tara clenched her jaw, vexed by the question. “Yes, I am sure. I’m the one who checked her out when we brought her back from the crypt the first night. I know her body, okay?”
Tara blushed as she finished speaking but held Callie’s gaze. “But you’ve been apart for a few months, things-”
“No. Don’t even go there,” Tara warned the woman. “What’s the next theory? A spell?”
The older woman glanced at Giles before answering. “Actually, yes and no. I was told by Rupert that Miss Rosenberg-”
“Willow.”
“Very well, that Willow was involved with a young man years ago, who turned out to be a werewolf himself.”
Tara felt her insides turned into ice. “I-I’m not sure what you’re imp-p-plying here.”
“Miss- Tara, I’m sorry to ask this but are you absolutely certain that this man has never scratched or done anything else to Willow?” Callie asked the witch as delicately as she could.
“Tara, we do not want to imply anything-” Giles hurried to explain. “But-”
“N-no, they were together years ago, she would have started shifting back then!” Tara argued, rapidly becoming agitated.
“That’s what I believed too,” Giles said ominously, “But Callie has informed me that, in some rare cases, the werewolf genes can take a certain amount of time to...emerge.”
Tara sat on the couch, shocked and her eyes wide in consternation. Giles, knowing the news was devastating to the girl, quickly went to sit next to the blonde. “Tara. There might be something else also.”
“I don’t know if you remember, but last time Oz was here, he had found a way to control his wolf, to keep him from coming out.”
“No, that is not what I wanted to insinuate!” He retracted himself quickly at the furious glare he received from the blonde. “I am just saying that if he has been controlling himself all this time, and that if he had recently slipped...”
“You think he may have reached out to Willow and somehow triggered the wolf or set it loose through her,” she finished for him, pale and fighting back the bile that threatened to rise up her throat.
“That, or he may have found a way to transfer his wolf altogether to your girlfriend,” Callie offered softly.
“That’s why we need to know if you are positively certain that any marks Willow might have are not coming from him.”
**********
Willow was sitting on the bed with her back against the headboard, absently playing with a stuffed turtle and trying to lose her bitchy attitude when the bedroom swung open, Tara shuffling in and slamming it shut behind her. “U-undress.”
“What?” Willow frowned, confused as she pushed herself off the bed.
“Undress. Drop the clothes, strip!” Tara repeated more promptly.
Willow watched her partner in puzzlement but started to unbutton her shirt. Something in Tara’s voice and behavior scared her. She couldn’t remember when the last time Tara had sounded so upset was, but it was freaking Willow out.
Willow got seriously alarmed when Tara walked to her and helped her undress quicker until she was down to her underwear. “Tara, baby? What’s going on? You’re kind of scaring me here.”
“I just...” the blonde mumbled as she made Willow turn around and inspected every square inch of her back, sides and thighs. It was
ultimately a faint scar on her ribs that retained Tara’s attention. “Willow, where’d you get that scar?”
“Um...” the redhead hesitated, walking to the mirror to have a better view of it. The mark was right on the side under the girl’s breast and about half an inch long. It was so pale it was barely visible. “I don’t remember, must’ve been on patrol some time ago. Why, what’s going
on?”
**********
“Oz would never do that!” Willow exclaimed with a shrill voice after Tara had repeated everything Callie had told her. “A-and I swear Tara, he’s never marked me in any way. He was really careful and kind of paranoid about that kind of thing,” she assured her in a soothing voice.
Willow bit her lip and slowly reached out and took Tara’s hand, half-expecting to have it slapped away. Breathing out in relief when her girlfriend didn’t pull back, the younger witch grasped a fistful of Tara’s sweater and tentatively brought their lips together.
Both girls moaned as their tongues met. The kiss was slow, but passionate. Willow let Tara set the pace, which surprised the blonde. The redhead normally fought more for dominance, but she didn’t even react when Tara gently pushed her on the bed before straddling her hips.
They stayed like that for several minutes as their mouths lazily met, sharing an intimate moment both of them desperately needed. Their hands had only started to roam when Willow gasped and sniffled, which made Tara pull back, concerned. “You okay, honey?”
Willow nodded, her breathing heavy, but the look on her face told Tara otherwise. “I just...I was horrible to Buffy earlier.”
“Aww, sweetie...you were harsh with her, that’s true,” Tara gently reminded her, sighing when Willow lowered her eyes to avoid looking at her. “But,” she continued as she pressed soft kisses on her lover’s nose, cheeks and neck, “If you apologize and make it up to her, she’ll understand.”
The redhead looked doubtful but nodded, closing her eyes and savoring the sensations of her partner’s full lips on her skin. “Do we have to go back downstairs now? I kind of like it here,” she asked as she brought a hand up to play with Tara’s long, golden locks.
Tara smiled and rolled to her side so she was lying next to her girlfriend, pulling her close. “We have all day, sweetheart. They can wait a while longer.”