Author: allwiththebutch32
Rating: PG to possibly NC-17
Pairing:W & T once I get the story going
Disclaimer: I do not own Willow or Tara or anything else that remotely sounds like something that's owned by mutant enemy or darkhorse comics or written by or possibly thought of by Joss Whedon or anybody else who had a hand in creating BTVS. I give all credit and praise to them.
Summary: Tara's in the army, you'll find out what Willow does later on in the story (that is if you find this story good enough to continue...) BEWARE there is angst here in the beginning. Thought you might want some warning.
Feedback: Very very welcomed. I wrote a few short stories in high school but this is my first time posting... Thank you for reading!
Chapter 1:
Pull yourself together McClay. You’re a decorated lieutenant. People look up to you expecting great things. Not investigations… Not for homosexual conduct. You have to do the right thing before this gets messy.
Tara McClay stood, bent over the sink, her body weak and shaking. She willed the lump in her throat to subside but it stayed there, keeping her on the verge of tears. She prayed to the Goddess that no one would enter the latrine now. Not while she was so distraught. Her tears broke free, but she quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeve and took several deep breaths. Tara faced her reflection and saw her blue eyes, all red and scared. Very scared. She smoothed back her honey blonde hair and checked the condition of her always perfect bun.
What am I going to do? This is all I’ve known… After 20 years I’m just going to venture out into the world and live prosperously…doing what? All I know is in the military. That’s not true. Her subconscious thoughts drifted through her panic. There’s the farm.
Tara shuddered at the sudden rush of memories that came back to her. Suddenly the door swung open and Tara hurried to compose herself and straighten her uniform before heading out. Her legs moved her forward, but everything else was a blur. She had made up her mind. She would leave with her dignity intact and an honorable discharge in her pocket. Tara slid into her truck and drove home to make the necessary arrangements.
The truck turned into the driveway and immediately Tara put it in park.
“Oh god…” She broke and the waves of grief came down relentlessly. Her hands clutched the steering wheel as she continued to sob for what felt like hours. Her body felt like it was made of lead as she dragged herself inside and up to her bed.
“I have to do this. I will do this. Everything’s ok…Everything’s ok….” The exhaustion overtook her and she drifted off to sleep.
Tara woke up early, resolve working its way slowly into her body. She would be out and gone by the end of the week and this will all be over.
No, not over…just different… For some reason she knew this would all be ok. It was a feeling from deep down inside her that she was moving in the right direction...moving toward something...someone...she shook it off for the time being and focused on her current mission. Getting out.
She thought that deployment was grueling, combat, seeing her friends and loved ones die… That was hard but this was downright brutal. The questions, the tests, the seemingly endless paperwork. And the whole time she could feel people watching her, hear their thoughts and their judgments as if they were being spoken aloud.
Ignore it… They don’t matter. At least, not anymore.
“You’re sure you want to grow through with this McClay?” Captain Sherwin asked, staring into her empty blue eyes.
“Y-yes. There’s no other way. We b-both know that.” She whispered to him. He knew her better than anyone here and her reasons for leaving. He was there…
Three weeks ago she and Jake, Captain Sherwin, had gone out for drinks at a local gay bar out of the way from the base. Neither wanted to be a soldier or feel any pressure to act like one. They wanted to be themselves. Be gay, in public. A luxury gays and lesbians have taken for granted for a while. Tara had never had that liberty. From the repressive home to the repressive military. There were a few women that she allowed herself to see but it always became too risky and ended before it had a chance to start. Tara had found herself an attractive girl to dance with and Jake, an attractive man, and both felt care free for the moment. Neither of them expected in a million years for a born again homophobe captain and a few sergeants to walk through the door. They knew they’d been made and that there was nothing to do but excuse themselves’ from the dance floor and leave before they made a scene.
That’s how they landed themselves in the discharge office, both lucky to be leaving honorably. They walked out of the building wearing civilian clothes and climbed into their respective vehicles and left Ft. Lewis for the last time. Jake was heading for Canada and Tara was heading south to sunny California. That same calming feeling that everything was going to be ok came up again. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something amazing waiting for her and she was going to keep searching until she found it. A person... There was no denying it. She had learned to trust her gut as well as her soul and both were pulling her towards a woman...
I know it's short but I'll add more later. That was a sudden inspired stream of writing caused by my having drill this weekend and organazing my military stuff... Lemme know what you think
I will be waiting, and hoping to see another update soon. 
This is funny on several different levels. LOL
. Can't wait for them to meet.
