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Fanfic - How I Met Your Mother (UPDATED: May 26, 2012)

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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey Goodness: 1/5/1

Postby Finey_McFine » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:27 pm

Hi Ariel!

Sorry it took me so long to comment...I didn't even get a chance to read it until this morning! Then I had to go to work. Grrr Arrg!

*Yoink!* Turn that into “Moronica” which even rhymes

That was actually supposed to be 'Moronica'...no thanks to my lousy typing skillz. :paranoid

So where to begin...

A big yay, FINALLY, for Mistress Finch supporting Tara instead of siding with the spawn of satan. It's about damn time! But just as I was doing a happy dance for her support, there she goes and only publicly thanks Tara...one step forward, two steps back. *sighs* Poor Faith.

“This is Rosenberg’s Emporium of Ear Tickling so you are definitely in the right place!”

How impossibly cute is Willow? One of the many reasons I adore her :luv

Kind of a creep fest, that kid is mega with the weirdness! I mean I’m weird too, I know, but I’m kind of a geeky weird and she’s a ‘watch out’ weird which makes you all turn-y so that she’s never behind you. I felt like I was starring in a re-make of ‘The Bad Seed’ or maybe a Hitchcock movie.

I think Willow is on to something here. I was thinking 'Damien: The Omen' myself!

“Yes I s-still want to. C-can’t you see inside my heart?” Her blue eyes shone in a way that Willow knew was just for her, “I love you, Willow.”

Willow sighed and burrowed closer; recharging her Tara-love battery, then her own natural energy was restored.

I really loved this moment, probably my favorite in this chapter. Willow is feeling a little insecure and Tara, not only picked up on it, but gave her instant reassurance not allowing it to linger.

I c-couldn’t have done anything if Faith hadn’t risked her l-life

Only one of the hundreds of reasons we all love Tara so much!

“No ‘melting’ in our cabin?”

Bummer. :sob

Now on to boob naming... :rofl :clap :banana what else can I say??
Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey Goodness: 1/5/1

Postby BeMyDeputy » Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:34 am

Okay, back from Christmas and into the land of the intertubes.
Chapter finished, beta-ed, and posted: check.
Time for feedbacky goodness.

First, thanks for the shout-out. Queen of Hearts is my first attempt at fiction, so I am endlessly warmed at how well it has been received. Thank you, Ames public schools, for having a rigorous English program. If anyone wants a great place to raise kids, I recommend the town highly.

Second, I wholeheartedly approve of campers named "Kate." It's a good, strong name. ;)

Right, feedback.

I'm enjoying the story quite a bit. The girls are innocent and adorable; I totally back your justification of their innocence. One thing I like about deleted lines is that the writer gets to decide if they describe reality or not. Your writing sometimes drifts over the 'too saccharine' border for my personal taste. Of course, your story enjoys more comments than mine, so who am I to judge? ;) It isn't a bad thing, I just sometimes feel like Calvin seeing adults kissing and going ahh! Sappy!

I think it really has the flavor of a summer camp; of course, I went to an overnight camp all of once, so I'm not an expert. But it feels right, so yay! I love the campers; I have no idea how realistic they are as 7-year olds, as it's been ages since I've interacted with one, but I don't care: they're cute and I like them. This in particular got me:

Towanda made a seven-year-old’s attempt at diplomacy. “Just shut up about it, Betts, okay?”

Tee hee.

You've also really nailed how tiny things get so magnified at that age; again, it's a good reminder that you'd have to pay me a metric shit-ton (which is, of course, 2.2 English shit-tons) of money to be that age again. Oh, and only on the condition I could tell myself that my girlfriend is straight, so just give up on it.

Right, anyway . . .

I totally loved Willow's reaction to orgasm. A friend of mine once talked about how he was told that masturbation was this natural, normal thing that no one should be ashamed to do, but no one warned him of the consequences; he was pretty freaked out. Thankfully for Willow, she's got Tara there.

Breast naming was adorable. While it's not an activity I've ever done, I've certainly heard people talk about doing it. Xena and Gabrielle were totally my favorites. (As I had Tara say in QoH, they take your queer card if you don't watch Xena. ) As for baptizing, Willow might be familiar with Zeved habat, the Jewish naming ceremony for girls.

I think one of my favorite things about this is to watch how your writing is getting steadily better. It makes me proud, because I like to think I helped.

Oh, and I guess section nine. Possibly ten. Though the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't know how I write.

-Kate
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey Goodness: 1/5/1

Postby willowtaralover » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:01 am

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER UPDATE REVIEW

Hey Ariel, sorry I’m so late writing this but I only just got round to reading chapter 14 sorry.

YAY that Finchy took Tara’s side in the ‘Moronica’ cleaning out the stables situ.

‘Rosenberg’s emporium of ear tickling,’ so cute and so funny. Is it right that I should be so jealous of Tara getting all that sweet ’n’ sexy treatment off our favourite redhead? Sorry but I just am.

Is there a possibility that Willow is the little redheaded girl from the Charlie Brown cartoons? A random question I know but that's how my brain works.

Ooh ‘The Bad Seed,’ there’s a film I know all too well, but why do I get the feeling ‘Moronica’ isn’t gonna be struck by lightning.

Tara looked straight into Willow’s eyes, “C…can’t you see inside my heart?” Her blue eyes shone in a way that Willow knew was just for her, “I love you Willow.”

This is such a beautiful little moment between the girls and the fact that Tara only stutters once show’s what a positive influence Willow is on her girlfriend. Like other fans of this tale, I hope it ends in future with a Mrs and Mrs Rosenberg.

“Remember, tonight is name-that-breast night.” Another hilarious line, first Cucomonga breath then this, where do you get your idea’s from Ariel.

I like that Tara is acknowledged as being the one who saved ‘Moronica’ and the horses from serious injury and even possible death, and she in turn acknowledges Faith’s help and gets her up on the platform beside her. It shows how big and open her heart is. We should all have a best friend or sister like Tara.

“Tara scanned the room and saw Veronica out on the porch talking with Cordelia. Cordelia looked around, saw Tara watching, put a hand on Veronica’s shoulder and led her away.”

Uh oh, why does this spell trouble for our girls? Is it going to mean open hostilities between cabins?

Being a Brit, i.e. a poorer cousin to you Americans, I’ve never heard of the game ‘Marco Polo’ so what is it exactly?

Loved the scene where Willow and Tara are trying to name each other’s breasts. Personally I thought Pinky and Pointy were perfectly good names for breasts. When I get a girlfriend I’ll definitely give them that name.

There was also a lot of sweet loving there in that scene too.
I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a story as much since I read LARAGH’S ‘Taking a bite outta the apple’. Keep up the good work Ariel, you’re awesome, and so is your story
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey Goodness: 1/5/1

Postby Ariel » Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:47 pm

Kirsty AKA KeoNewgo
haha Old finchy really told V where to go awesome!
Tara was so sweet, making sure Faith's actions were achnowledged .

‘Old Finchy’ another great name! *Yoink* May need to steal it! Great to see her get one right ! And yeah, Tara is a good friend and an honorable person.

The breast naming...by far, and I mean far one of the funniest scenes I have ever read! The interaction between the girls was brilliant. I could just see Tara with a lil' smile and Willow all bouncy and excited haha

I’m totally blushing – thank you!!!! Really appreciate your reading and taking time to F/B!


Robin AKA Lonelytara:
I love that Mrs. Finch finally wasn't an idiot for once--Veronica deserved to muck those stalls and it was great that she acknowledged Tara's rescue of Veronica, and that Tara in turn acknowledged Faith.
Thanks!!!

The breast-naming was sweet and totally delicious (pun firmly intended)
PS--Super-flattered that you liked my breast names!
EDIT!-- I meant the breast names I suggested for your fic. Mine don't have names. LOL and

Are you sure that ‘Jub-jub’ and ‘Svetlana’ weren’t . . . OKAY, just a joke!!! :laugh :laugh :laugh


SMGOVAN:
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Gotta love the sea and love.

Glad you like the names! Many thanks to all contributors and to you :flower for reading and commenting! :blush

I'm sure Bitchy Chase and her mini me have a whole lot of nastiness in store for our girls in the upcoming chapters.

Put down that Chrystal Ball!!! You’re doing it again! And I’m sorry you are right . . .


BlondCavalier:
Wow, I loved the breast-naming section! It was SO hilarious and sweet!

Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for ‘Mungojerrie’, ‘Rumpelteazer’, ‘Momo’ and ‘Binky’ – don’t know WHY Tara turned them down!

Glad you appreciated Tara acknowledging Faith’s share in the rescue!


Wimpy:
Well, score one for the Finchmeister here for putting Veronica in her place.

About time! :smug

That was so nice that Tara was acknowledged, and in turn did the same for Faith. Very nice touch. Faith cracked me up.

Yes, Tara did right by Faith and Faith is up to even more of her tricks – and I think you'll like it - stay tuned!


Maggie AKA Leonhart17
lol Tara shot down my suggestions! Not that I blame her - those are pretty bad breast names....

Hey, I was pulling for ‘Morticia’ and ‘Gomez’ but Tara’s kind of picky I guess . . .

You and Zampsa19752001 are on the same page, worried about Cordelia and Veronica’s conversation. So far it’s strictly download, but it could get worse . . .


Zampsa19752001:
Yay for Mrs. F to send Bitch V to muck up the stalls and acknowledged that Tara saved Bitch V.

Bitch V *Yoink!* May be stealing that one! Thanks for wicked wit!

I hope Willow soon has an uninterrupted opportunity to return the "melting" favour to Tara...

Not half as much as she does! Seriously, Willow and Tara as well have a lot to learn about making love but the journey is part of the magic. Thanks for writing!


Laragh:
Hahahahahahahahahaha @ Veronica getting mucking duty. Bitch deserves it.

I think you caught the essence of people’s feelings about this! Thank-you!

I can't even...the ENTIRE breast naming scene was so unbelieveably funny. Makes me wish I'd explored things more in mine!!

Well, I sat in for some “Lessons in Love” AND the designated chapter and LOVED your names, S. and M.J. were adorable and hilarious! Glad you got ‘Fibonacci’! ‘Pi’ is a gimme but ‘the golden proportion’ fits one of the threads running through this fic and will come up again. Thanks for reading and commenting – love your wit!


Vampyregurl AKA Heather:
Your sweet :kitty says, “yes, please!” and is picturing you on your purple velvet chaise lounge . . .

No melting in the cabin? Mmm, well Tara's reasoning is sound, besides would you really want a 7 year old walking in on you mid-melt?

Absolutely not! Hence, no cabin melting! However, Willow is a master of mathematics and she is working on this uh ‘problem’!

Mighty good of the Finchster to give Tara credit for a job well done and even better of Tara to give Faith her dues, since Finchy conveniently left her out.

‘Finchster’ *Yoink*-able! As to the hero comment, very true! Tara told Mrs. Finch in the office that it took both her and Faith but, of course Faith works in the kitchen . . .

As to Mouse, possible ‘Breast girl in training’, Willow didn’t give her any instructions but hoped that bringing Mouse close enough to Tara would elicit the same result as before! As to the upcoming ‘shudder’ this one is all Cordelia. Fasten your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy ride!


Shel AKA FineyMcFine:
That was actually supposed to be 'Moronica'...no thanks to my lousy typing skillz.

Hey, belated thanks for the name ‘Moronica’ – you bring your wit out to play and the story is the richer for it!!! See your name in action soon!

A big yay, FINALLY, for Mistress Finch supporting Tara instead of siding with the spawn of satan. It's about damn time! But just as I was doing a happy dance for her support, there she goes and only publicly thanks Tara...one step forward, two steps back. *sighs* Poor Faith.

‘Spawn of Satan’ and your thought about Veronica/Damien/The Omen – good one! (Definitely *Yoink*-worthy, stay tuned!) On the positive side, Faith gets some of her own back in this post . . .

Thank you for commenting on “Rosenberg’s Emporium of Ear Tickling” and Willow’s unbelievable cuteness. More of cute-Willow in the next post. Also that Tara acknowledges Faith’s share in the hero department. Yep, that’s why we love her (among countless other reasons!)

Glad you were touched by Tara’s reassurance and Willow’s recharge of her ‘Tara-love battery’ Thanks again for being so detailed in your feedback.

Now on to boob naming... what else can I say??
And I can only say, THANKS!!!


BeMyDeputy:
I wholeheartedly approve of campers named "Kate." It's a good, strong name.

Kate, I’m always grateful for an opinion from an objective third party! ;-) <=right back at you!

I'm enjoying the story quite a bit. The girls are innocent and adorable; I totally back your justification of their innocence. One thing I like about deleted lines is that the writer gets to decide if they describe reality or not.

Thank you very much for enjoying the story AND supporting my view on their innocence. I am using the deleted line from “Family” that Tara was slow to speak, not as slow as Donnie states, however. This will be mentioned later . . .

I totally loved Willow's reaction to orgasm. A friend of mine once talked about how he was told that masturbation was this natural, normal thing that no one should be ashamed to do, but no one warned him of the consequences; he was pretty freaked out. Thankfully for Willow, she's got Tara there.

Couldn’t agree more! Very intense, perhaps a cautionary label . . .

I think one of my favorite things about this is to watch how your writing is getting steadily better. It makes me proud, because I like to think I helped.

Definitely! Specific help from the get-go included the link to the Buffyverse for shooting scripts and detailed criticism with your reasons for why you felt something worked or didn’t work. You were definitely generous with your insight and advice – still grateful for your time! And, yes, I write every day. When you give feedback like you did to Vazy you are at your shining best: clear and helpful and kind! Also, ‘Xena’ and ‘Gabrielle’ was a nod to that line of dialogue in QofH, laughter from one heart to another!

Oh, and I guess section nine. Possibly ten. Though the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't know how I write.

Cryptic much? Can you elaborate? I value your thoughts but need some clarification on this one. Thanks, again!


Rick AKA willowtaralover:

You’re with the ‘in crowd’ on Veronica getting mucky-time! Glad you also liked “Rosenberg’s Emporium of Ear Tickling” – you and FineyMcFine are together on that one! So you know “The Bad Seed” and fear there’s no lightning for little V – uh oh!

Tara looked straight into Willow’s eyes, “C-can’t you see inside my heart?” Her blue eyes shone in a way that Willow knew was just for her, “I love you Willow.”

This is such a beautiful little moment between the girls and the fact that Tara only stutters once show’s what a positive influence Willow is on her girlfriend

Tara IS stuttering less, good catch!

I like that Tara is acknowledged as being the one who saved ‘Moronica’ and the horses from serious injury and even possible death, and she in turn acknowledges Faith’s help and gets her up on the platform beside her. It shows how big and open her heart is. We should all have a best friend or sister like Tara.
Lover is okay, too . . . Tara did the right thing, which is why she is Tara!

Answer to your question on how to play Marco Polo: The person ‘it’ wades or swims with eyes shut, trying to tag someone else. When the he ‘it’ person says, ‘marco’ then the other players must reply ‘polo’ which helps the ‘it’ person use the sound of the replies to tag someone. Simple and fun, still play it myself when I can find any takers!

Loved the scene where Willow and Tara are trying to name each other’s breasts. Personally I thought Pinky and Pointy were perfectly good names for breasts. When I get a girlfriend I’ll definitely give them that name.

Butting in girl, here! Check to see if they’re up for it, girls have opinions about breast names (or no names) – trust me!

[quote] I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a story as much since I read LARAGH’S ‘Taking a bite outta the apple’. You can compare me to Laragh any time – she’s one kind-hearted and talented lady! Thanks for writing and bring the pirates!



Title: How I met your mother*
Author: Ariel
Email: blaziak@yahoo.com
Feedback: All feedback welcomed, specific input appreciated.
Rating: PG-13 for language and discussion of various behaviors
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to take them for a ride!
Summary: A/U before season 1, the summer after Willow's freshman year with a large dose of Queen Cordelia at her bitchy best and teen-aged angst.

*no connection to the sit-com of the same name

Thoughts are in italics.

Once more and always, feedback is golden and is loved and often listened to – thanks for reading and thanks for writing!


Part 15: The Court of the Star Chamber

Willow woke up, blinking into the semi-darkness, trying to snuggle back down into Tara’s arms and hoping to fall asleep again and avoid a night time ramble to the bathroom. She stretched out, sighed, took a few deep breaths and rested her cheek back on ‘Amor’ and realized that her bladder was definitely going to win this round. She sighed again, then did her best to slide quietly out of bed without waking Tara, pausing only to put on her robe and slippers before starting the trek.


After finishing, she left the bathroom, turned the corner and was immediately blinded by the beam of a flashlight. Her response was automatic, “Hey! What’s going on!” She threw a hand in front of her face to block out at least some of the glare.


“Willow?”


“Mrs. Finch? Is something wrong?”


“No. Just walking around and making a sort of bed check. Why don’t I walk you back?”


Willow shrugged agreement and a few moments later they were past the porch and through their cabin door. Willow climbed into her cot, suddenly grateful that she had never bothered to make the bed from the last time she had used it.


Mrs. Finch shined the light briefly near Tara, then left after a whispered “good night.”


A moment later, Tara opened a cautious eye, “Was th-that a nightmare or was M-Mrs. Finch actually in here with a flashlight?”


“Answer C: All of the above,” Willow said slowly.


Tara's smile crooked up sweetly and she and held the covers up for Willow to slide back into bed.


Willow answered the unspoken invitation with a shake of the head. “No. I think I should stay here for the rest of the night.”


Tara looked puzzled and a little hurt, but Willow stepped across the gap between their beds to give Tara a soft kiss and a warm hug. The blond pouted adorably, but was drowsy enough to acquiesce and return to sleep.


For her part, Willow tossed and turned on the less comfortable cot, missing her lover’s embrace and feeling strangely worried.


Willow was jerked awake in the pale light of morning by Veronica’s angry voice, “Get out of here, you little brat! This is MY bed!”


Willow jumped up, still in her pajamas to see Veronica trying to push Mouse bodily out of her bed. She helped Mouse onto the floor before addressing Veronica.


“Hey, it’s good morning time not bed boxing time. What’s going on?”


Veronica was nearly inarticulate with fury, “Her, that’s what’s going on! That brat, that rat or mouse or whatever she is! She has no right to get in my bed; I woke up and here she was!” Mouse stood by the bed, staring confusedly and rubbing her eyes. Then Veronica leaned forward into Mouse’s face to yell, “And stay out!”


Mouse started to cry and Willow sat at the table and let the littlest girl climb on her lap for cuddles. Tara meanwhile had thrown on a robe and approached Veronica.


“H-hey, Veronica. C-come with me on the porch.”


Veronica glared, but decided it wasn’t worth the fight and followed Tara to sit sullenly on the edge of the porch.


“Veronica. This is your bed h-here at camp and y-you get to pick who is in your bed. If you don’t w-want Mouse in your bed, then that’s okay and we’ll make sure she understands.”


Veronica frowned, clearly not expecting Tara’s support.


“But I w-want you to understand that Mouse is,” Tara decided to be cautious in what she shared, “w-well a bit small for her age. S-sometimes she gets scared or h-has bad dreams and she just climbs in with one of the other girls. D-devola kicks in her sleep, so Mouse doesn’t go there. B-bettina, C-connie and Towanda like their beds to themselves so she doesn’t go there. Kate, Lisa, and Debbie don’t mind if Mouse cuddles with them. S-so it’s your bed and you get to choose, but—“She looked at Veronica to make sure she had the girl’s attention, “you need to be n-nice about it and not push or start fights.”


Tara’s voice softened and she looked into Veronica’s eyes. “It’s hard to be the l-littlest one sometimes, so we need to be nice to Mouse.” She smiled at Veronica, “and it’s h-hard being new, so we n-need to be nice to you, too.” She put a hand on Veronica’s shoulder but the girl jerked her shoulder away.


“Th-think about your bed and let us know. L-let’s get ready for breakfast.”


Tara and Willow went through their morning braiding ordeal and allowed the girls to ‘play hair style’ and brush their long hair as a reward for getting dressed quickly. They were careful to make sure their stylists had clean and empty hands after Devola had accidentally stuck a licked sucker into Willow’s hair on the second day of camp.


Willow was at the head of their cabin’s breakfast line with Tara at the end while Jules stood nearby with her group. Jules caught Tara’s eye and grinned, “Good job yesterday. Had a kid with a sprained ankle to deal with, so I didn’t get to say it then.” Jules noticed that Tara was blushing, so the big girl laughingly turned her attention to Faith who was serving pancakes. “Hey, Faith! Good work on the rescue. You still giving away autographs?”


Faith blew a breath upward, trying to dislodge a strand of hair from her sweaty forehead, and smiled evilly. “You want an autograph?”


Jules grinned, “Sure, since you’re a hero and all!”


Before Jules could react Faith snatched her plate of pancakes from her, grabbed the squeeze ketchup bottle and autographed Jules' pancakes.”


“You put ketchup on my pancakes!” Jules' whiny voice was incongruous for such a tall girl and the laughter rippled around them.


Faith smiled again, “You can start back through the line, there’d only be about 42 kids ahead of you, OR you can just deal with it!”


Jules opened her mouth to speak.


“Move along!” Faith cut her off and Jules continued down the line, grinning at the joke in spite of her ruined pancakes.


Meanwhile, Tara was attempting to balance her plate, Mouse’s plate, and fix herself a cup of hot tea while Willow took Mouse into the kitchen to clean off an oatmeal spill.


Veronica sat down, noticing that Tara was across the room. “So what’s wrong with Tara anyway? Why does she talk like that?”


Lisa was matter-of-fact, “it’s just a little stutter, that’s all.”


“Well it sounds dumb.”


Kate offered a warning, “You better not call Tara names.”


“I can say whatever I want.” Veronica replied, “It’s a free country.”


Devola jumped in, “Cordelia called Tara names.”


“So what?”


Devola enjoyed the drama, “Well, Tina the Warrior Pasta Princess over here shoved about a million pieces of macaroni up her nose, that’s what!” She grinned proudly, “Took three of ‘em to pull her off!”


“My cousin told me about what a little psycho Bettina is and what a bunch of weirdoes you all are!”


“Shut up, Moron-ica!” Towanda got into the game, “Cordelia had it coming!”


“’Moronica’!” Devola laughed delightedly.


“Quit calling me that!” Then Veronica turned to glare at Towanda, “Why did she ‘have it coming’?”


Bettina cut in, her flat voice firm, “Because she called Tara a bad name!” She gave Veronica an angry look, “and you’d better not talk bad about Tara or I’ll get you too!”


Veronica flushed angrily, “I’d like to see you try, you dumb little freak!”


For an answer, Bettina simply slid off her bench and ran around the end of the table while Veronica jumped up to face her.


Tara heard the commotion, set the plates and mug of tea on an unused corner of the buffet table and dashed over in time to step between the combatants before anything started.


“Tara!” Mrs. Finch was suddenly behind her and the director’s voice was quietly furious, “you and your group will stop this persecution of Cordelia once and for all! And there will be no fighting in the dining hall or anywhere else, for that matter! Do I make myself clear?”


“Y-yes, Mrs. Finch. N-no fighting.” Tara let Veronica sit back down, offering a pat on her shoulder then walked Bettina back to her seat and sat beside her.


Mrs. Finch continued, “Your girls are playing a game of softball with Carly and Cordelia’s cabin this afternoon. I hope this aggression will find a healthier outlet in the game!”


The director stood there for a long moment as if to say more, then turned abruptly and left.


The rest of the meal passed mainly in silence. Mouse’s suggestion of ‘Wonga’ became the swear word of the day and the little girl offered her first real smile of the morning when her word was chosen.


Mrs. Finch began the counselors’ meeting with little preamble, “We are re-arranging the day’s schedule, similar to our first day of camp. We are dividing the girls into four groups of similar ages for swimming, crafts, indoor games, and softball. I have assigned counselors and adult staff to various sections, check the board by today’s menu for your name to see where you go. While the program begins, I want the following girls to walk with me immediately to my office. Those girls are Carly Macready, Cordelia Chase, Jenilee Cooper, Juliet uh Jules Tulare, Mary Claxton, Willow Rosenberg, Tara Maclay, and Faith Lehane. That will be all.”


A moment later, Faith walked out of the kitchen with her apron off and the group walked silently to Mrs. Finch’s office. Mrs. Finch gazed at the semi-circle of young women crammed into the tiny space and noted looks ranging from confusion to nervousness. She sighed, none of this will be easy.


“I recently received an anonymous report about a party held in the storage shed by the driveway the night before last.” She noted the stiffening postures, eyes widening in fear, and she sighed again. “You are here because you were all named as participants at the party. I was also told that there was alcohol and,” she paused, “inappropriate behavior between two counselors.”


Faith’s voice was defiant. “Where’s the proof?”


“Right here.” Mrs. Finch reached down under her desk and held up a plastic bag with three of the cups and the empty bottle of Jack Daniels inside it. “This was found inside the locked storage room. However, we will address that later. My first concern is the allegation of inappropriate behavior between the counselors.”


Willow and Tara were white faced with terror, sitting knee to knee as usual.


Tara looked down. She clenched her fists trying to stop her hands from trembling. If Dad finds out. She swallowed and felt her fingers going stiff and cold with terror. If Dad finds out, I’ll have to go to the hospital again. She continued to stare down at her hands then suddenly Willow’s hand was there, squeezing her hand tightly, trying to comfort her.


“Tara. Willow. The anonymous complaint was made about the two of you. It states that you kissed and embraced each other inappropriately. What do you have to say about that?”


Tara felt her stomach tighten. A part of her wished she could run out of the room and throw up, but she wasn’t quite sick enough. Another part of her wished she could lie, run or hide. And Willow, I got her into this. It’s all my fault. She forced herself to meet Willow’s beautiful green eyes which were bright with unshed tears yet full of love. She stared in wonder. She’s scared. She’s scared just like me, but she’s not sorry. She loves me. She still loves me. The joy of it took her breath away for a moment then she inhaled sharply and knew that something golden would die between them if she lied in front of Willow now. Then she drew one more calming breath. Her blue eyes were shining as she stared straight into Mrs. Finch’s face and opened her mouth to speak.


Suddenly Jules' boots slammed into the floor as she stood up to her full height of almost six feet. “I brought the booze,” she said loudly. “I bought it and I brought it and I poured it. That’s it!”


Carly jumped to her feet. “I paid for it, it was all my idea!”


“Shut up, Carly!” Jules' eyes pleaded with her best friend to remain silent. “You know I’m telling the truth.” She stared around the circle. “I did all the pouring for me and Carly.”


“Who had the third cup?”


Jennilee smiled tremulously at Jules. “I did. We bogarted the whole bottle, didn’t let those babies have a drop!”


“Is that true?”


Jules gazed at every face around the circle and they each nodded, even Cordelia.


Mrs. Finch seemed relieved. “I appreciate your honesty. But that still doesn’t address the issue of the inappropriate behavior.”


Jules looked over and saw Tara square her shoulders and said quickly, “That was me, too! I grabbed Jenilee without saying a word, she didn’t have a chance to say ‘no’. It’s all my fault.” Her voice was soft when she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, “I’m sorry Jenilee.”


Jenilee stared back, her voice harsh with suppressed tears. “You have nothing to apologize for!”


“Please, Jen. Please tell her the truth. Don’t let your kids down. Tell her.”


Jenilee looked away. “That’s the truth,” she said finally.


Jules looked at Carly, who glared defiance but Jules' gaze didn’t waver and finally a light died in Carly’s eyes and she answered dully, “Yeah. That’s the truth.”


Mary started sobbing and stood up and hugged Jules around the waist. Jules returned her JC’s hug then put her hands on Mary’s shoulders, moving her back a step so that their eyes could meet.


Then Mary turned to Mrs. Finch, her voice a whisper. “That’s the truth.”


Jules smiled, and dropped a big hand on Mary’s shoulder. “Thanks, Mare.”


Faith knew she was next in the circle and knew that Jules had saved her job. She stared bitterly at Mrs. Finch. “Yeah. That’s the goddamn, fucking truth. Fire me if you want to, I don’t give a shit!”


Tara and Willow merely nodded, the lie sticking in their throats.


Cordelia nodded, too, trying to remain inconspicuous.


Mrs. Finch returned her gaze to Jules. “You’re fired.” She said simply. “It’s unfortunate that this had to happen but I can’t overlook it. Pack your bags now. You live in town, I’ll get someone to drive you—“


Carly cut in, “I’m driving her. We’ve gone to this stupid damn camp since we were seven years old and she’s my best friend.” She looked hard at Mrs. Finch, daring her to argue, “Anyway, I know where she lives!”


Mrs. Finch nodded acceptance.


Tara found her voice, pleading with the bigger girl. “Jules, at l-least let us h-help you pack, okay?”


Willow tried to smile, “Please?”


Jules smiled at the two of them. “Sure, come on.”


“Me, too.” Mary was crying openly.


“Mare, no. Keep the kids out of the cabin, play with them, and explain it all later.” For the first time the big girl had tears in her eyes, “I can’t see ‘em right now, okay? Do this for me, Mary. Please.”


Mary nodded, not trusting her voice.


Carly’s voice shook as she stared straight into Mrs. Finch’s eyes. “Jules is one of the best counselors this place has ever had, my dad even says so.” Her face flushed with anger, “Add that to your bullshit anonymous complaint!” She paused, “Funny how this complaint comes up right after Tara gets called a hero in front of the whole camp!” She glared at Cordelia. “Whoever said that about Tara and Willow is just jealous of how Tara is the riding program leader and how great they’re both doing here at camp! There is nothing wrong with them and they’ve never done anything wrong!”


Jules nodded, “that’s all there is to it.” Then she turned and walked out with her head held high, followed by Carly, Mary, Jenilee, Faith, Willow and Tara.


After that, packing in Jules' cabin was mostly silent; everything had been said in the office. Then Jules gave Tara and Willow a hard, tight hug, a smile and a friendly push in the direction of the door. Then she called, “Hey, Willow?”


Willow turned in the doorway. “Yeah, Jules?”


“Not your fault okay.” She looked steadily into the younger girl’s eyes. “It was pretty rough in there.” Then her lips quirked with a ghost of her old grin, “Glad I could help.”


Willow managed a smile. “Thanks, Jules.” She ran back for one last hug, “thanks for that night . . . and for everything.” Willow stood out on the porch, trying to calm down while Tara lingered by the door.


“Tara?” Jules beckoned and Tara walked back in. “I had to. When I saw the look on your face,” she swallowed, “I knew how it was at home for you.”


Tara began shaking, “b-but h-h-how d-d-did—“ Jules put her hand gently on Tara’s shoulder, “I’ve seen that look before Tara.” She saw the pain and confusion lingering in the younger girl’s eyes. “In the mirror,” she said softly, “I’ve seen that look in the mirror.” She gave Tara the fierce and tender hug of one survivor to another; and then she let her go.


A moment later Carly followed them out onto the porch, along with Faith.


Willow gulped, “Are she and Jenilee saying good-bye?”


Carly nodded.


Tara looked around, “Anybody k-k-keeping an eye out?”


Faith folded her arms. “I got it,” she said roughly.


Carly spoke softly, “Hey, you guys. Jules had a choice and she made it.” She looked at Willow and Tara. “She wants you to do two things: keep loving each other and do not get busted.” Her face tensed with worry, but she managed a smile, “We’ll do our best to help on the not getting busted part, okay?”


Willow and Tara looked at each other and reached instinctively for each other’s hands, but their handclasp was cold and seemed to have lost its power to comfort.


“Th-thanks, Carly.”


“No problem, Tara. That’s what she wanted.”


Then the group broke up, leaving Faith to stand alone until Jenilee came out, brushing tears off her cheeks and Carly returned with her Dad’s truck keys.


[center]*******************************[/center]


It was the end of the day; a frozen aching day, a leaden march through the daily routine, complete with manufactured smiles and an imitation of happiness. Then, finally, it was over.


They undressed without looking at each other, with no question of sharing their bed that night. Then somehow they turned, as if pulled together by a force greater than themselves, and faced each other.


Tara saw the eyes that she loved, glittering green like an ocean made of tears.


Willow saw the eyes that she loved, burning blue with hurt like the center of a flame.


Then they both raised their arms slightly as if to embrace each other, but the weight of guilt and sadness pulled their arms straight down again and left them uncomforted. It was as if they were separated by a pane of thick glass that prevented human touch and love.


Suddenly their eyes locked and they breathed in at the same time. Then Willow’s right hand rose as if to press against the pane of glass, the gesture mirrored by Tara’s left hand so that both hands met, palm to palm. All their yearning, all their love was focused there, with hands and fingers pressed flat against each other. A long moment passed. Then fingers meshed, binding hands and hearts together again and more deeply than they had ever been.
Last edited by Ariel on Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:24 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey Goodness: 1/5/1

Postby leonhart17 » Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:01 pm

Dibs?

I really hate the Chase kids - they suck! I'm glad Willow and Tara didn't get fired, but it completely sucks that Tree got canned :/
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby LonelyTara » Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:18 pm

Wow, that was lovely, and terribly, terribly sad. Just when I thought Mrs. Finch had pulled her head out of her ass it's firmly crammed back up there again. I hate to lose Tree in the fic, she was one of my favorite characters, but I think it was necessary for Willow and Tara to realize what a terrible threat Cordelia actually is. Unfortunately, with horrible little Moronica (love that) around they're going to have to be even more careful than they were before. I look forward to the next update, and hope that things will be a little less sad, though I anticipate angst on the horizon, especially with the glimpse at Tara's fear of her home life. :(

Still loving it, kudos to you for crafting something so emotional.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby Grimm » Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:37 pm

I really try 2 refrain from using profanity in my replies :rage ...but, Cordelia is a honking pile of dog shit!!! Please :pray let somebody kick the shit out of her before the end of this story :gnome . This was a very upsetting update :cry :cry . Please give us sunshine and puppies in the next update.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby Finey_McFine » Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:57 pm

Well, that sucked. :angry

It looks like Cordy has begun her ascension, let's just hope she's not immortal! Seems to me like she has some kind of evil plan up her sleeve, a satanic checklist of sorts. Ugh! She takes 'Mean Girls' to a whole new level.

“Tara!” Mrs. Finch was suddenly behind her and the director’s voice was quietly furious, “you and your group will stop this persecution of Cordelia once and for all!”

Uh, the only thing clear here is that Mistress Finch needs a nasty camp trick played on her. Ever seen the movie 'Meatballs?' BTW...it seemed to me that Mistress Finch was more focused on the 'inappropriate' behavior than she was on the alcohol. Hhmmmmm....
Cordelia needs to be enlightened by a swift and continuous ass kicking. :rage :gnome :angry :punish

“Shut up, Moron-ica!”

I expect to be compensated fully for the use of this moniker! :rofl


Suddenly their eyes locked and they breathed in at the same time. Then Willow’s right hand rose as if to press against the pane of glass, the gesture mirrored by Tara’s left hand so that both hands met, palm to palm. All their yearning, all their love was focused there, with hands and fingers pressed flat against each other. A long moment passed. Then fingers meshed, binding hands and hearts together again and more deeply than they had ever been.

Bittersweet and beautifully written.

Eagerly awaiting the chapter where Cordelia & Moronica are covered in honey and laid in a giant pile of fire ants! :devilish
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby vampyregurl73 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:09 am

Oh Ariel....

Cela était si doux et si triste qu'il blesse, et a fait me détester les filles de Chase même plus !

This whole chapter had many moments where you are making it even easier to dislike them both. Moronica with Mouse, I actually hope Tina drags her off somewhere and does something mean or I don't know they gang up on her and cut chunks our of her hair... Then again that would work for Cordelia too, except maybe Faith can do something and leave her tied to a tree... he,he,he that would be appropriate leaving her tied to a tree. Tara was a lot nicer than she could have been, but she would be even though I think even Willow would have had a hard time being as nice about it.

Tree was so sweet.... I'm trying not to cry onto the velvet - tears stain, and I can't have a tear stained chaise, now can I? Tara's fear of being sent to a "hospital" again left my stomach in knots, that's just...medieval. I would like to know more though.

Is that why the Finchster was out roaming around when Willow went to the bathroom? Bless Willow's small bladder! I can see now it's going to be harder for snuggles and smoochies, but our girl will figure out a way.

The guilty tension between them that night... more knots, at least their hand holding spoke volumes for them.

I agree with BeMyDeputy, is there some sort of clause on their contract? If not maybe the girls can use it in their favor if anything else comes up, because the whole booze thing completely negates any leg they would have to stand on for Tree.

French you want my little Gomez, then French you shall have. ;)
Last edited by vampyregurl73 on Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby BeMyDeputy » Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:58 am

Re: earlier comments
1) Private parts need warning labels. Warning: may cause orgasm.
2) The point was to be cryptic! Remember why I sent you the word document of all of QoH?

Poor Mouse. Moronica is a total wonga and can DIAF. Seriously.

I liked the hair styling. When I really little, there were some black girls that lived next to my grandmother, and they loved playing with me and my sisters' hair; none of their hair doodads stayed in our hair. They weren't used to white kids' hair; that part of Detroit was almost entirely black. I'm just going to say "hair" again. Hair hair hair.

Tina the Warrior Pasta Princess: totally adorable.

Poor Tree.

Out of curiosity, did the employment contract for the counselors explicitly forbid fraternization? If it did, Willow at least probably would have read the contract and known that they could get in trouble. If it didn't, Mrs. Bitch can shove it up her ass. The boozing . . . okay, yeah, everyone knew that was against the rules. And, you know, the law.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby Laragh » Wed Jan 12, 2011 4:54 am

Woohoo, update!!

Uh oh, Mrs. Finch doing a bed check!! That ain't good!!

Poor Mouse :( And wow, Tara was really nice to Veronica.

Before Tree could react Faith snatched her plate of pancakes from her, grabbed the squeeze ketchup bottle and autographed Tree’s pancakes.


The first thing thought, before Tree even said it, was 'omg, she put ketchup on pancakes.'

So wrong, Faith. Even as a joke, so wrong. Pancakes are sacred. At least they're not Tara's funny shapes. Then I'd be mad. :wink

I love how all the campers get all large with the butch if anyone says a bad word about Tara.

If Dad finds out, I’ll have to go to the hospital again.


:shock :shy :tear :angry

Wow, major big up for the camp solidarity!! I hate that Tree got fired, but hey, what she did for Will and Tara - way cool, Tree. Way cool.


Then they both raised their arms slightly as if to embrace each other, but the weight of guilt and sadness pulled their arms straight down again and left them uncomforted. It was as if they were separated by a pane of thick glass that prevented human touch and love.


Suddenly their eyes locked and they breathed in at the same time. Then Willow’s right hand rose as if to press against the pane of glass, the gesture mirrored by Tara’s left hand so that both hands met, palm to palm. All their yearning, all their love was focused there, with hands and fingers pressed flat against each other. A long moment passed. Then fingers meshed, binding hands and hearts together again and more deeply than they had ever been.


:love
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby zampsa19752001 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 6:33 am

Yay for excellent update-y goodness... Big yikes for Finchmeister's bed checks, thank goddess for Willow's small bladder... I hope the other councelors really quickly realize that it was Bitch C who ratted them out and make her really regret for ever comming to the camp and trying to mess with Willow's & Tara's relationship... I'm glad that the other kids told Bitch V without vague disclaimers not to mess with Tara or she will regret it... I truly hope that Tree somehow is reinstated... I'm really worried about Finchmeister's homophobia...
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby wimpy0729 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:15 am

Well Shit! That whole confrontation thing sucked. Cordelia sucks. Moronica (LOL) sucks. It all just totally sucked.

Tree taking the fall (no pun intended) showed what a sweet person she is, but it's so terribly sad. Seems she has or had the fear of family like Tara apparently does. Again, so sad. But Tara's family put her in the hospital - I'm guessing they beat her so bad that's where she ended up. That always makes me want to get my shovel and beat them over the heads with it. The whole solidarity thing of the counselors sticking up for each other was awesome, but again sad.

Okay, so in the dining hall when the little girls were about to get into it, Finch shows up and tells Tara that the "persecution of Cordelia" has to stop. Cordelia had nothing to do with what was going on at the moment, and the "persecution" part sounds exactly like something Cordy would say. I can only imagine what her whole story to Finch was like. Because of that, Finch is keeping an eagle eye on them. Thus, the "bed checks" I assume. I just hope and pray that you will think of some ingenious way to get her back. I really think it would be cool of Finch catches her being her "real bitch" self and sees what she's really like.

Man, that whole thing really took the wind out of my sails. Tree's gone, W and T feel guilty and now have to be careful and don't even feel like they can safely hold hands. No more sharing a bed, no more "fun with naming" body parts, and definitely no more melting. Oh please, please, you must fix this soon cause now I'm just very depressed. Well, the Faith autograph part really made me laugh at least. So now I really need more of that and less drama, pretty please?


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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby Cyteach » Thu Jan 13, 2011 2:30 pm

First off, my apologizes for missing a few updates... BUT, I'm all caught up now and I have to say I absolutely loved what you've done with the storyline, in particular that last chapter.

I realize that you have set the stage with this story to lead us through the lovey dovey first love of W/T, effectively setting the stage for a fluffy love story, but I've always maintained (to no one but myself ;-) ) that there is so much room for a meaty storyline here with the ups and downs that are a prerequisite.

And Ariel, my friend, you've succeeded on the highest level with this last chapter. This is real life, no holds barred, true angst--which I truly believe is a major portion of a story's success.

You give us the sweetness, lull us into floating around without a care in the world, and then BAM! You sock it to us just when our defenses were lowered. Great, great, great, writing technique.

Yes, my level of hatred is at an all time high for Cordelia and her clone, but Mrs. Finch is by far the most infuriating character I've had the pleasure to read about... ever, I think. Her passive aggresive nature here by putting Tara on the spot and 'forgetting' to mention Faith's role is truly villian-like. Everyone knows Tara's hatred to public speaking, and what better way to pick away at her than to force her into that situation without talking with her first.

Finch is an adult. She should, by all rights in the normal development of adulthood, be above these childish meanderings that are such a huge part of Cordy's characterization.

It sucks that Tree had to take the blame there, but she's seasoned, she's experienced, and she can take it. I have the feeling that we haven't heard the last from her... there could potentially be an argument for wrongful dismissial due to sexual orientation there--yes, she was drinking too, but she was technically fired for the "inappropriate" behavior, yes? The plot thickens and thickens even more.

These real life issues that you are bringing in here are spectacular. :bow

New love, while presenting all of those floaty I'm-on-top-of-the-world feelings, must, at some point, hit a snag. The true test of love and a relationship will come with the next chapter and how the girls deal with this metaphorical wall.

On another note, I have to say that your chapter titles are very thought-provoking. I recognized "the Court of the Star Chamber" but I couldn't place it at first (Thank god for Google!). It is such a fitting title for this chapter with the debacle of the "trial" of Tree and the accusations brought forth by Finch. Kudos.

Keep it up, girl, and don't forget the angst! It makes a story, even if it might slap us in the face occasionally :p

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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby KioNewgo » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:32 pm

Aww no way!
I mean, I'm happy that everyone stuck up for the girls, but poor Tree :(.
I hope they find who sent that letter (anyone else get flashbacks of the Chase family whispering ealier on? ><) and have them hung, drawn and quartered ><. Well, maybe that's a bit harsh...
And the end! I swear a little chunk of my heart fell off :(.
I agree with Cyteach that a good story should have it's fair share of ups and downs (though who can resist a pure fluff fic?), so maybe we're due an up? *puppy eyes* Pleaseeee?
Can't wait for more! :D
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby willowtaralover » Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:41 am

Hmmm, it all seems a little suss to me, old Finchy just happening to be walking and checking on the dorms, could it be the Chases had something to do with this. What those two sweet innocent girls never, snerk.

That is so mean of Moronica to treat Mouse like that, yellling in her face and calling her names, please tell me that the person who would sock anybody that was mean to Tara will do the same for Mouse.

I can understand why Tara talks to Moronica as she does. To try and clear the air and to try to make Moronica feel as if she is part of a team. It's the kind of thing that someone with Tara's big, open heart would do.

So cool that WIllow and Tara allow the girls to style their hair for them, what nice people.

"So what's wrong with Tara. Why does she talk like that?"

"It's just a little stutter."

"Well, it sounds dumb."

What the hell just after Tara went out of her way to be really nice to the girl this is the thanks she gets???? Can I just use the phrase 'What A Bitch' to describe Moronica.

Ya gotta love how all the girls leap to the rescue of Tara, that's what you call a fanclub.

Sad that Tree has to leave but at least she tells the girls to keep on loving one another and not get caught.

Things can only get better after this right
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby BlondCavalier » Sun Jan 16, 2011 5:24 pm

Ariel, wow, you've done some of your most beautiful and sensitive writing here, esp. in the last section that begins with "It was the end of the day, a frozen, aching day..." :clap And the part where they raise their hands up like a mirror image and clasp palms reminded me so much of Shakespeare & Romeo and Juliet! :luv2

I was very concerned about Tara saying she was worried about her dad finding out because she would end up in the hospital again, and then Tree recognizing her as a fellow survivor at the end. That shows a lot of depth and kudos for that!

I love how heroic you made Tree!! Next to W & T & Faith she was my favorite character, and I can't believe the sacrifice she made for our girls! It seriously broke my heart, and I'm not kidding. I would love it if dear old Mrs. Finch (note sarcasm in my voice :rage) had a change of heart and hired Tree back again, with a groveling apology!

I hope Queen C and Moronica get their come-uppance, like falling in a pile of horseshit or something :p

Keep up wuth the updatey-goodness, I love this story and can't wait to hear what comes next
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby willowtaralover » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:48 am

Me again, I didn't get to write all I wanted to before so I thought i'd add a little more.

What a mean, horrible thing to do. Cordelia reporting on a party that she herself attended, wonder what would happen if someone reported that to Finchy heh heh heh.

SInce when has kissing been inappropriate behaviour????? Please don't tell me that the camp is owned by shudder mor(m)ons.

Tara being in hospital doesn't necessarily mean she's been beaten. At one time they would give electro shock therapy through the so called 'patient' to try and eliminate the 'wrongful urgings of the body'. They could have tried that on with Tara.

It sounds painful and was and may have been worse than being beaten
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby Ariel » Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:28 pm

[center]THE VENGEANCE CONTEST[/center]

Here are suggestions from various posts on things to do to Cordelia:

Lonelylanding:
I feel like we should just throw her the damn shovel and see how much much deeper she can make the hole of full of shit before we all push her in it.


Cyteach:
So I'm thinking that there needs to be some major karmic backlash released on Cordeila... Hmm, maybe being trampled by a horse, or being tied to the flagpole naked while covered in honey so that the bugs eat her...


Shel AKA FineyMcFine:
Eagerly awaiting the chapter where Cordelia & Moronica are covered in honey and laid in a giant pile of fire ants!


Heather AKA Vampyregurl:
maybe Faith can do something and leave her tied to a tree... he,he,he that would be appropriate leaving her tied to a tree.


Kirsty AKA KioNewgo:
I hope they find who sent that letter . . . and have them hung, drawn and quartered ><. Well, maybe that's a bit harsh...


BlondCavalier:
I hope Queen C and Moronica get their come-uppance, like falling in a pile of horseshit or something


To me, the general themes emerging are “shit” and (strangely) “sweetness”. Also, Faith comes up more than once as an agent of revenge – stay tuned!!!


Maggie AKA Leonhart17
I'm glad Willow and Tara didn't get fired, but it completely sucks that Jules got canned :/

I miss her, too. She was a real hero – a survivor who remained strong and loving. I promise you a happier chapter!


Robin AKA Lonelytara:
I hate to lose Jules in the fic, she was one of my favorite characters, but I think it was necessary for Willow and Tara to realize what a terrible threat Cordelia actually is.

Jules' departure does exactly that (you really are good!) and it pulls the group together. It was necessary but I love the character and I cried when I wrote it.


SMGOVAN:
Cordelia is a honking pile of dog shit!!! Please let somebody kick the shit out of her before the end of this story.

Stay tuned . . . your wishes are my command! Promise!


Shel AKA FineyMcFine:
Hail to thee, official Empress of the Evil Icons! Yep, you had the most of any post! Particularly loved your evil opinion:
It looks like Cordy has begun her ascension, let's just hope she's not immortal! Seems to me like she has some kind of evil plan up her sleeve, a satanic checklist of sorts.


Also loved your suggestions on Cordelia’s ‘enlightenment’:
Cordelia needs to be enlightened by a swift and continuous ass kicking.


On your creation of ‘Moronica’, I will have my attorney work with yours to devise an appropriate payment – maybe a percentage of all my writing royalties? (zero so far!)

Thank you for your comment on the ending, “bittersweet and beautifully written;” a tremendous compliment coming from you!


Heather AKA Vampyregurl
Glad it was sweet, sorry it hurt. I really cried writing that scene but it had to happen and I know that Jules' sacrifice saved Tara so that she has the chance to be loved and to grow into the very competent and amazing woman she becomes.

As for your French? Always! Even though I sometimes use a friend in Canada to translate! :blush

Moronica with Mouse, I actually hope Tina drags her off somewhere and does something mean or I don't know they gang up on her and cut chunks our of her hair...

Very creative vengeance concept . . . keeping it in mind! Yeah, Mouse is really only 4 years old, dumped there by a troubled Mom so she needs a lot of love. The kids didn’t clobber Veronica because they were all asleep when it started and Willow and Tara intervened too quickly. But Mouse will be protected if anything else happens – trust me!

I can see now it's going to be harder for snuggles and smoochies, but our girl will figure out a way.

Yes they will!! And soon – thanks for never doubting the power of W/T love!


Kate AKA BeMyDeputy:

Re: earlier comments
1) Private parts need warning labels. Warning: may cause orgasm.
2) The point was to be cryptic! Remember why I sent you the word document of all of QoH?

As a safety professional, I will move your warning label suggestion forward for FedOSHA consideration! As to the cryptic, I’m going to need a cryptic-ographer to help me figure it out BUT I loved the full QofH and read it in without pause in a single sitting!

Tina the Warrior Pasta Princess: totally adorable.

Glad you liked it, another nod to you Great One!

GREAT question on whether there is a no fraternization clause in their contact. The answer is ‘no’ but for W/T calls to parents is enough to create a considerable threat. Tara, certainly, would resign immediately if threatened with that.

Thanks for posting, love the play of your mind and your antic humor, too!


Laragh:
Poor Mouse :( And wow, Tara was really nice to Veronica.

Tara has a tremendous capacity for empathy and sees Veronica’s difficulties of being new and being Cordelia’s cousin very clearly.

Quote:
Before Jules could react Faith snatched her plate of pancakes from her, grabbed the squeeze ketchup bottle and autographed Jules' pancakes.


The first thing thought, before Jules even said it, was 'omg, she put ketchup on pancakes.'

So wrong, Faith. Even as a joke, so wrong. Pancakes are sacred. At least they're not Tara's funny shapes. Then I'd be mad.

Good that the sacredness of pancakes is being upheld, stay tuned for another opinion in Wimpy’s post.

Wow, major big up for the camp solidarity!! I hate that Jules got fired, but hey, what she did for Will and Tara - way cool, Jules. Way cool.

And that’s why it works, even though we all miss ‘the big girl’ very much!

Thank you very much for the beating heart on those last two paragraphs. I am trying to pull together the palm to palm kiss when Romeo and Juliet dance and fall and love with Willow and Tara’s hand clasp in Season 4.


Zampsa19752001:
Big yikes for Finchmeister's bed checks, thank goddess for Willow's small bladder...

Absolutely! It definitely was a life-saver here! Also that mussed up extra cot!

I'm glad that the other kids told Bitch V without vague disclaimers not to mess with Tara or she will regret it.

Me, too! The message was received loud and clear on Veronica’s end, too.


Wimpy:
First, thanks always for very kind PM’s they meant a lot to me!

Jules taking the fall showed what a sweet person she is, but it's so terribly sad. Seems she has or had the fear of family like Tara apparently does. Again, so sad.


I just hope and pray that you will think of some ingenious way to get her back.

See vengeance contest suggestions and, yes, Cordelia has a comeuppance!

Well, the Faith autograph part really made me laugh at least. So now I really need more of that and less drama, pretty please?

See Laragh’s post and response for a differing opinion on this scene!

Thanks for following this when it’s such a downer but things are turning around right now, I promise!


Cyteach:
Yes, my level of hatred is at an all time high for Cordelia and her clone, but Mrs. Finch is by far the most infuriating character I've had the pleasure to read about... ever, I think. Her passive aggresive nature here by putting Tara on the spot and 'forgetting' to mention Faith's role is truly villian-like. Everyone knows Tara's hatred to public speaking, and what better way to pick away at her than to force her into that situation without talking with her first.

The irony is that Mrs. Finch felt that she was being generous, her intentions were actually good.

These real life issues that you are bringing in here are spectacular.

New love, while presenting all of those floaty I'm-on-top-of-the-world feelings, must, at some point, hit a snag. The true test of love and a relationship will come with the next chapter and how the girls deal with this metaphorical wall.

Thank you for seeing all that and for your other kind words and encouragement. Tara and Willow are two teenagers who have the joy and the anguish to meet their true love at a time and place where their love is not safe to express. How they grow as a couple is the true measure of their love.

Because they are teen-agers deeply in love they are reckless, foolish, and passionate (see references to Romeo and Juliet as part of this story’s influence). They behave inappropriately sometimes, but their essential love and courage never falter and they are succeeding with their kids as well. Let me also say that while I use the shooting scripts for dialogue, this is an A/U fic.


Kirsty AKA KeoNewgo:
I mean, I'm happy that everyone stuck up for the girls, but poor Jules :(

Definitely, I think we all feel the same, but she went out a hero!

And the end! I swear a little chunk of my heart fell off :(.

Thank you.

I agree with Cyteach that a good story should have it's fair share of ups and downs (though who can resist a pure fluff fic?), so maybe we're due an up? *puppy eyes* Pleaseeee?

I hear you and obey – see below and more to come when “The Riding Club” forms!


Rick AKA Willowtaralover:
That is so mean of Moronica to treat Mouse like that, yellling in her face and calling her names, please tell me that the person who would sock anybody that was mean to Tara will do the same for Mouse.

See quote from Heather AKA Vampyregurl above, bottom line: YES!

"So what's wrong with Tara. Why does she talk like that?"

"It's just a little stutter."

"Well, it sounds dumb."

What the hell just after Tara went out of her way to be really nice to the girl this is the thanks she gets???? Can I just use the phrase 'What A Bitch' to describe Moronica.

The question about Mini-C: Is she redeemable?????

Cordelia was named as a participant at the party but Jules (and Jenilee) saved her by claiming that no one but the three older girls drank. Cordelia knew that if she was the only person not there that it would be undeniable proof that she was the informer so she ‘informed’ on herself to throw people off the trail which, of course, didn’t work!


BlondCavalier:
"It was the end of the day, a frozen, aching day..." And the part where they raise their hands up like a mirror image and clasp palms reminded me so much of Shakespeare & Romeo and Juliet!

Wow!!!!! You get this chapter’s detective award! Yes, Romeo and Juliet AND the theme of gold as purity are woven through this story (see post to Laragh above)

I love how heroic you made Jules!! Next to W & T & Faith she was my favorite character, and I can't believe the sacrifice she made for our girls! It seriously broke my heart, and I'm not kidding.

I would love it if dear old Mrs. Finch (note sarcasm in my voice ) had a change of heart and hired Jules back again, with a groveling apology!

And you are not alone in that wish . . .


Title: How I met your mother*
Author: Ariel
Email: blaziak@yahoo.com
Feedback: All feedback welcomed, specific input appreciated.
Rating: R rating for nudity and W/T happiness for this chapter (nude-lite, I’m afraid!).
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to take them for a ride!
Summary: A/U before season 1, the summer after Willow's freshman year with a large dose of Queen Cordelia at her bitchy best and teen-aged angst.

*no connection to the sit-com of the same name

Thoughts are in italics.



Part 16: Love and Vengeance


A long moment passed then Willow and Tara released each other’s hands and stepped into an embrace, feeling the satin kiss of skin sliding against skin.


Willow whispered against Tara’s neck and her warm breath sent shivers through Tara’s body. “Love you, Tara;” she swallowed and drew a ragged breath and suddenly the articulate straight-A student was helpless to express the depth of her feelings. She could only stand there, trembling and clinging to her lover unable to speak, but knowing somehow that Tara understood. And when the tears finally came it was not from grief but from her inability to express the power of her love.


Tara stood, feeling Willow’s tears hot against her skin, and tightened the embrace until they each felt the other’s heart, beating against a breast. She felt a chill of fear, we almost lost our magic. We almost let them scare us and stop us from loving each other. She strained to pull Willow closer as if to merge their hearts into one. She knew that they were joined by tears and trust, friendship and deepest love. She knew, too, that somehow she had pledged herself to this girl and that their love itself was golden and good.


Then they shivered together, skin tightening against the night-time air and they broke apart just long enough for Tara to pick up her sleep clothes and Willow to grab her pajamas. Without a word they climbed into their bed with their pajamas handy, but they remained naked and slept cradled in each other’s arms.


When Willow woke later in the darkness, she nudged Tara awake and they put on their pajamas and crawled back into bed.


[center]*******************************[/center]


A giggle in the dark, “Fun, huh? Like being a spy or something.”


“Give it a rest, Carly, we’re talking in the friggin’ bathroom, for god’s sake!”


“No imagination, Faith! Can’t you see the joy of sweet revenge?”


“I feel like shit having Jules get canned when I brought the booze.”


“Speaking of shit, how is our plan for ‘Queen C’ coming?”


“Bitch won’t know what hit her. She’ll have Armageddon in her underpants!”


“All set?”


“Yeah. Breakfast. Carly, is Mary in?”


“She said ‘maybe’, but we can still work it without her.”


“Okay. See ya.”


“’Night, Faith.”


[center]*******************************[/center]


At dawn Willow awoke with a jerk, staring straight into Mouse’s eyes as the little girl stood at their bedside.


Mouse smiled sleepily at them, relieved to see that even big girls needed to snuggle sometimes, “Did you have a bad dream, Willow?”


Willow reached out and rubbed the top of Mouse’s head and pulled her in for a one-armed hug, “I did then but not now! I got Tara-cuddles and they made me feel better. How about you?”


“I don’t ‘member but I was in my own bed all night.”


“Good for you.” Then Willow kissed the top of Mouse’s head. “So how about you wait for me at the table while I dress then I’ll tell you a story or something. Okay?”


“Okay.” Mouse padded off to climb up on a chair while Willow threw on her clothes. Willow looked down to see a pair of bright blue eyes, gazing up at her lovingly.


Tara smiled, “You’re so sweet with Mouse. I l-love to see you two together!”


“I love her, too. Makes me wish my Mom and Dad had had another kid.” She grinned at Tara, “but then they would have had to do it more than once and I’m not sure if that’s possible! How about your family?”


“T-twice,” Tara said shortly, “M-me and my b-big brother.”


“So what’s your big brother like?”


“B-big.” Tara forced a grin.


Willow grinned back, directing her attention downward. “Good morning ‘Mare’, good morning ‘Amor’.”


Tara blushed. “T-two can play at that game!” Then she lifted her eyes to Willow’s breasts and returned the greeting, “Good m-morning ‘Milk’, good morning ‘Honey’. Now go see M-mouse and I’ll get dressed.”


Mouse was swinging her feet from her chair then jumped off to give Willow another hug around the waist.


“I wanna play a game.”


“Okay.”


“I’m a mouse and you’re scared of me and you scream and I chase you and you’re really, really scared. Okay?”


Willow smiled and Mouse got down on the floor and began squeaking.


Willow threw her hands into the air. “Oh no! There’s a Mouse in the house! And it’s getting closer!” She ran around the room screaming with Mouse chasing her as everyone else began dressing to get in on the game.


Devola clutched her heart. “I’m so scared I’m having a heart attack!” She began groaning and lurching around the room, dying dramatically atop the table while the other girls were content to run around giggling with Mouse in hot pursuit. Finally everyone was perched atop chairs, the table, and beds and Mouse was alone on the floor, looking a little unsure of the next step.


Willow spoke, “I wish I had a pet Mouse. A mouse I wasn’t scared of that I could cuddle.” She sat down on a chair and Mouse crept closer.


Lisa picked up the cue. “A cute one with big brown eyes and I’d feed her mouse treats and stuff.”


Kate grinned, “And she could live with me and I’d scratch her behind the ears.”


Tara emerged, dressed and ready to join the game. “I’d pet her and h-hug her, too.”


Most of the girls were now gathered around their pet Mouse, petting the top of her head and pretending to feed her treats while Mouse reveled in the attention. Veronica edged over and patted Mouse on the back and got a smile in return. Then Veronica saw Willow looking at her and moved away quickly to start dressing behind their curtain.


As usual, they survived the bathroom and hair care ordeal then they stood on the porch for a moment and Willow slid her arm around Tara’s waist.


Tara was concerned. “Mrs. F-finch, what if—“


Willow was reassuring. “She told us the first day of camp that we’re good friends and we are with the friendy goodness, too, so let’s just let it be instead of acting all guilt-o-girl.” Then she pulled Tara tighter against her side, her glance into Tara’s eyes was warm, “And not holding you just seems wrong, ergo, we hold.”


Tara smiled back and slid her arm around Willow’s waist, “We hold.”


Then all the kids were ready and they walked to the dining room together.


Willow was determined to celebrate finding their love again so she decided to try Mouse’s favorite breakfast of oatmeal. She walked over with her bowl, eager to share her discovery. “Hey, I think Mouse is on to something!” Willow took another bite of her oatmeal with evident enjoyment. “It’s got plump-y raisin and oat-y goodness and the brown sugar I put in goes all swirly when you stir it.”


She grinned at Tara, “Hey, sweetie, I’m still up so can I get you a cup of tea?” She caught Tara’s grateful nod. “What do you want in it?”


Tara’s gaze was mischievous and lingered well below Willow’s face. ‘Milk’ and ‘Honey’ she said smiling just as Willow spooned another big bite of oatmeal into her mouth. Willow coughed explosively, spraying oatmeal about three feet in front of her.


Devola was delighted, picking a small clump out of her own hair, “Wow, this is great, like giant mutant dandruff or radioactive—“


“Don’t say it, Devola,” ordered Connie, “Don’t even say it!”


“Vomit,” Devola announced, and got a jab in the shoulder from Connie. “Hey, that’s hitting, Connie, and hitting isn’t nice!”


“Neither is vomit,” Connie snapped.


Tara tried to change the subject. “So h-how was the s-softball game yesterday?”


Towanda groaned, “a slaughter.”


Devola agreed, “we were murd-a-lated. What was the score?”


Kate grimaced, “17 to 2.”


Bettina spoke, “I got on base.” She beamed with pride. “A ball hit me.”


Connie looked at Mouse, “Cordelia made Mouse play and she could hardly pick up the bat. She struck out every single time.”


Lisa defended their pet, “Well so did a lot of other people, too.”


“Yeah,” Connie admitted, “but at least some of us coulda maybe hit the ball. Mouse didn’t have a chance.”


Mouse’s voice was sad, “but I wanted to play.”


Tara patted her reassuringly. “W-we’re not a league. Everyone who w-wants to play, gets to play.”


Veronica groaned.


Towanda glared at her, “What are you whining about, Moronica? You just stood there in left field and never even moved! At least Mouse tried.”


Tara’s voice was firm, “Hey, her n-name is ‘Veronica’ and that’s what we’re going to call her.” She looked around the group. “Do you w-want to practice f-for the next softball game? It’s okay if you do or if you d-don’t.


“I like softball,” Lisa said tentatively.


Towanda glowered, “And I hate getting slaughtered!”


“I wanna play!” Mouse knelt on her bench to make herself look taller.


Veronica rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”


Devoloa grinned, “Well I’d like to kick Cordelia’s team right in the uh wonga!”


All of the kids but Veronica laughed. Then the discussion moved to the swear word of the day and Kate’s suggestion of ‘plop’ was chosen after a spirited debate.


Tara wrapped things up, “Okay, pr-practice an hour before dinner today. M-meet us at the field.”


[center]*******************************[/center]


Mary was torn about joining in on Faith and Carly’s prank. She approached Cordelia, determined to give the taller girl a chance to apologize or explain. Cordelia looked her mockingly up and down, noting the poor quality of Mary’s clothes.


“What do you want?”


Mary kept her face neutral. “Why did you do it, Cordelia?”


“Do what? Oh, that,” she dismissed it. “I was trying to get rid of Tara and she was just about to confess until that Jules jumped in to save her.
Look, Mary. The first rule of staying popular is to know your losers. Once they’re identified they’re a lot easier to avoid. But sometimes they get annoying and you’ve got to deal with them, that’s all.”


“What does that have to do with Jules?”


“Well it wasn’t part of my plan to get rid of her but she is a loser, Mary and the sooner you know that, the easier it is to cut her loose and forget about her.”


“How do you mean, ‘she’s a loser’,” Mary asked slowly.


“Well, look at her: crew cut, kinda overweight, no make-up I mean come on! And her clothes! A head on collision between the Army Surplus store and the state prison!”


“But she loves those kids. She’s a great counselor!”


“Hello, not caring here!” Cordelia rolled her eyes, “Now look, Mary. I’m throwing you a bone. I wouldn’t even talk to you back at school but camp obviously requires some downward mobility for any kind of social life to survive so take the gift!” She thrust her personal mug into Mary’s hands. “Here, get me some hot chocolate!”


Mary’s dark eyes flashed fire. I’m in, the bitch has it coming! Then she smiled sweetly, walked over, and put the hot chocolate powder Faith had prepared with some hot water and stirred it up. Then she brought the mug back to Cordelia.


“Here you are.”


Several minutes were spent listening to Cordelia’s monologue on everything from the necessity of expensive clothes to the superiority of senior boys while waiting for the powder to take effect.


Meanwhile chairs were in the familiar circle, waiting for the counselor’s meeting, and Mrs. Finch had just sat down in her chair to review her notes.


Suddenly Cordelia’s eyes went wide and she turned to leave and that was Mary’s cue. She clutched Cordelia, and it appeared to anyone watching that she was begging for the taller girl’s help.


Cordelia’s brown eyes were wild, “Get out of my way NOW!” She wrenched an arm free for an instant but Mary got a fresh grip on her forearm and clung like a terrier.


“You have to help me, Cordelia,” she gasped. “I’m having terrible boy trouble and you’re the only girl beautiful and popular enough to save me from never having a boyfriend! I don’t want to be a loser and you’re the only one who can help me be a winner like you!”


Cordelia felt a roiling in her gut. She shoved Mary backwards but the girl kept her balance and simply rushed back.


“Please Cordelia,” she begged, “Tell me the secret to being popular with boys! I have to know right now!”


“Bathroom!” Cordelia shouted, then froze as everyone in the dining hall stopped talking to watch. “I mean I have to go to the bathroom!”


Mary faked a concerned expression, “You don’t look too good.”


An unstoppable pressure was building inside Cordelia’s body.


Mary’s voice was sympathetic, “Cordelia, why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling, discuss your symptoms in detail . . . “


Then it was too late, the laxative took effect and Cordelia’s white designer jeans turned brown followed immediately by the unholy stench of a liquid release.


In the stunned silence, Mouse’s piping voice was heard clearly, “Uh oh! She went poop in her panties!” Then tension broke and the room erupted in a combination of shocked gasps and embarrassed laughter.


Cordelia stared down, horrified at a couple of drops that had made it to the floor. She began backing up while Mary followed quickly with an extended hand as if to offer help. Suddenly Cordelia was inside the circle of chairs and stumbled into the chair behind her, landing squarely in Mrs. Finch’s lap.


Mrs. Finch’s eyes widened, then her nostrils flared. The director leaped to her feet and fled to the bathroom with Cordelia right behind her.


And in all the excitement, no one noticed the tiny smiles exchanged by Carly, Mary and Faith.
Last edited by Ariel on Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:37 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (UPDATE: 1/11/11)

Postby leonhart17 » Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:39 pm

Well that's some revenge right there! I'm glad everyone is sticking up for Mouse! Funny chapter!
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby Cyteach » Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:21 pm

Oh my freakin' GAWD, that was hilarious :laugh :lmao :rofl

There was so much going on in this chapter. I especially liked the loving display in the first part. This line made my heart sing with it's eloquence:

And when the tears finally came it was not from grief but from her inability to express the power of her love.


This line gripped me as well:

their love itself was golden and good


The emotional rollercoaster of first love is in true form here. Lovely.

Very sweet chapter... and the revenge on Cordelia was ... priceless!
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby Grimm » Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:57 pm

Thank you!! Talk about your instant gratification...I love it, Queen C dropped a deuce in her pants..and squirted a bit on the Finchmiester.....bravo :bow !!..You have made me very happy..Two down, one to go...watch your back Moronica!!...ps. Gotta love that tea with a splash of 'milk' and 'honey' ;-) ..you rawk!
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby Finey_McFine » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:36 pm

Hi Ariel!!

First, I feel I need to address this...
Hail to thee, official Empress of the Evil Icons!
...by simply saying, Thanks! It's nice to be recognized and praised for my special talents!


Willow whispered against Tara’s neck and her warm breath sent shivers through Tara’s body. “Love you, Tara;” she swallowed and drew a ragged breath and suddenly the articulate straight-A student was helpless to express the depth of her feelings. She could only stand there, trembling and clinging to her lover unable to speak, but knowing somehow that Tara understood. And when the tears finally came it was not from grief but from her inability to express the power of her love.
*sighs with dreamy eyes* I do believe that you have summed up falling in love and first love all in a single paragraph. Well done! :blush

“You’re so sweet with Mouse. I l-love to see you two together!”
Foreshadowing 10-15 years down the road?? Hmmm.....

Veronica edged over and patted Mouse on the back and got a smile in return.
This moment actually tugged on my heart strings. As much as we like to vilify Veronica, she is just a little girl. A 7 year old kid that desperately wants to fit in, but has no idea how to go about it. She puts up a good front, but deep down she is insecure and scared. She needs patience, love and a healthy lesson in right vs. wrong. I really feel like Tara, on some level, see's that and by the end of the summer, I think she'll be reformed. Or not, lol!! Just my humble opinion. ;-)

Suddenly Cordelia was inside the circle of chairs and stumbled into the chair behind her, landing squarely in Mrs. Finch’s lap.
Two for the price of one...P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Keep the updates a comin'!! :peace
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby wimpy0729 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:30 am

Oh my - you start with such an intimate, lovely moment with the girls and end with Cordelia shitting her pants. Too funny.

Ok, I'm a little concerned with the beginning. Even though it was so beautiful, I'm worried that they're still doing the night-time snuggles and might get caught. It would suck for sure if they couldn't do it, but I can't help worrying that Finch might keep doing her bed checks. Maybe I'm just paranoid after everything that just happened. I just don't trust the old bag.

And Priceless, simply priceless, what they did to Cordelia. Mary was even trying to be nice and give her a chance to explain why she did it, but she just persisted in being the bitch that she is. She deserved what she got. And white jeans - what a nice touch! And of course, she had to land in Finch's lap. Again, I say Priceless! Quite the "explosive" start to the vengeance. Please tell me there will be more.


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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby zampsa19752001 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:59 am

Yay for awesome update-y goodness... I really liked their mid-night snugglies but I'm also worried about Finchmeisters bed checks... I really loved their good morning "routine"... I'm glad everyone (almost everyone) joined in to have some morning fun and support Mouse... I'm glad that Mary tried to have Bitch C redeem herself... Making Bitch C shit in her white jeans and then landing on Finchmeisters lap was just hilarious :party ... If Bitch C remains in the camp and continues her "campaign" against Tara and other "losers" I hope Bitch C has repeated encounters with horse manure in the Back To The Future-style... I kinda hope Moronica leans from that and starts to redeam herself...
Last edited by zampsa19752001 on Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby Laragh » Tue Jan 18, 2011 7:57 am

Rating: R rating for nudity and W/T happiness for this chapter (nude-lite, I’m afraid!)


:D W/T happiness! I don't mind the nude-lite, as long as I got me some happy :D

Tara stood, feeling Willow’s tears hot against her skin, and tightened the embrace until they each felt the other’s heart, beating against a breast. She felt a chill of fear, we almost lost our magic. We almost let them scare us and stop us from loving each other. She strained to pull Willow closer as if to merge their hearts into one. She knew that they were joined by tears and trust, friendship and deepest love. She knew, too, that somehow she had pledged herself to this girl and that their love itself was golden and good.


Sorry to reuse the emoticon but its the only way to describe how perfect the prose in this story is

:love :love :love

Hehe, secret late-night meetings in the bathroom. Love it.

I ♥ Mouse so hard. She's like what I imagine W/T's little girl would be!

‘Milk’ and ‘Honey’ she said smiling just as Willow spooned another big bite of oatmeal into her mouth. Willow coughed explosively, spraying oatmeal about three feet in front of her.


:rofl :lmao

Laxative in the cocoa? WAY too funny! Haha, Queen C, how does it feel to be played at your own game?

And omg, landing in old Finchy's lap? :clap

Great update!!

:peace
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby love_2003 » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:23 pm

Sad to see that Tree left, but glad that her friends took the proper revenge out on Cordelia.
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby LonelyTara » Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:35 pm

This was an enjoyable chapter. I really loved the interaction of all the campers with Mouse, and the hint of humanity that we got from Veronica. The kids are ever-more delightful:

Devola agreed, “we were murd-a-lated. What was the score?”


Cute, cute, cute.

I have to admit, I was a bit shocked by the...severity of the revenge that was worked upon Cordelia. Wow, how would she ever recover from that kind of humiliation? I wonder if she'll even be present in the rest of the story. Even Finch isn't going to be able to stop the teasing plague that will arise out of this...event.

Cordelia is going to have to move to another planet. (Hooray ;) )
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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby BlondCavalier » Sat Jan 22, 2011 5:13 pm

Hey Ariel, you really covered many different types of writing in this chapter, to say the least. First off, I loved the beginning where Willow cries because she can't find the words to express her love for Tara. That's you at the top of your game, and please, I want MORE of this!! :bow

I also love Willow, Tara, and the campers playing the "Mouse in the house" game. Mouse is so precious! If they ever get to play another softball game against Cordelia's team, I think she should get to hit a ball. Wouldn't that be great? :)

And speaking of revenge against "Queen C", I do agree, that yes, she is a total bitch to Mary who was trying to be nice and let her apologize, but still, wasn't that revenge a little, well, um...gross? I don't know, maybe that's just me though. Maybe they can do something a little less graphic but still effective in a later chapter :hmm

Waiting eagerly for the next update!!
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All the manic, magic days, and the dark, depressing nights."

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Re: Fanfic - How I met your mother (Updatey goodness: 1/17/

Postby Ariel » Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:04 pm

Maggie AKA Leonhart17:
Well that's some revenge right there! I'm glad everyone is sticking up for Mouse! Funny chapter!

So glad revenge, Mouse love, and humor all worked!!! Thanks for writing!


Cyteach:
I especially liked the loving display in the first part.

So glad that worked for you . . . they really are wonderful.

The emotional rollercoaster of first love is in true form here. Lovely.

Very sweet chapter... and the revenge on Cordelia was ... priceless!

Glad it still works and that the revenge wasn’t too ooky! Thanks for your encouragement!


SMGOVAN:
bravo !!..You have made me very happy..Two down, one to go...watch your back Moronica!!...ps. Gotta love that tea with a splash of 'milk' and 'honey' ..you rawk!

That sure warmed my heart!!!! Thanks, worried about the revenge, glad it worked for you!


Shel AKA Finey McFine:
*sighs with dreamy eyes* I do believe that you have summed up falling in love and first love all in a single paragraph. Well done!

Very glad you liked that first paragraph, it took time!

Foreshadowing 10-15 years down the road?? Hmmm.....

Blast yore ornery hide, McFine! You and your detective work! I’ll just leave the part you’re commenting on OUT to try to throw others off the trail!

Referring to Veronica coming up and patting Mouse’s back and getting a smile:
This moment actually tugged on my heart strings. As much as we like to vilify Veronica, she is just a little girl. A 7 year old kid that desperately wants to fit in, but has no idea how to go about it. She puts up a good front, but deep down she is insecure and scared. She needs patience, love and a healthy lesson in right vs. wrong. I really feel like Tara, on some level, see's that and by the end of the summer, I think she'll be reformed. Or not, lol!! Just my humble opinion.

Veronica is a very stubborn girl, but Tara isn’t one to be trifled with either! Stay tuned!

Two for the price of one...P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Glad you liked the vengeance, I aimed to please!


Wimpy:
I can't help worrying that Finch might keep doing her bed checks. Maybe I'm just paranoid after everything that just happened. I just don't trust the old bag.

As always, you are wise . . .

And Priceless, simply priceless, what they did to Cordelia. Mary was even trying to be nice and give her a chance to explain why she did it, but she just persisted in being the bitch that she is. She deserved what she got. And white jeans - what a nice touch! And of course, she had to land in Finch's lap. Again, I say Priceless! Quite the "explosive" start to the vengeance. Please tell me there will be more.

I need to set the record straight here, Mary NEVER got the credit she deserved for using her outstretched hand to actually back Cordelia right in to Mrs. Finch as well as for literally hanging on Cordelia and preventing her from leaving. I know you will give her the respect she deserves for being a key player in the operation! Will there be more? Yes, but only if Cordelia continues her reign of terror. For now, she and Harmony are laying their plans and biding their time . . .


Zampsa19752001:
I really loved their good morning "routine"... I'm glad everyone (almost everyone) joined in to have some morning fun and support Mouse.

Yes, good morning breast greetings is a nice tradition, I think!

You’re right to be concerned about bed checks, see Wimpy’s response just above!

Making Bitch C shit in her white jeans and then landing on Finchmeisters lap was just hilarious

Glad you liked the revenge AND I will consider your “Back to the Future” revenge scenario as I picture Queen C sailing into the *%#@!

I kinda hope Moronica leans from that and starts to redeam herself...

Great thought, totally agree . . . let’s see if Mini-C can change her ways!


Laragh:
So very touched by how you responded to that first very loving scene.

I ♥ Mouse so hard. She's like what I imagine W/T's little girl would be!

I do, too! And I love seeing Willow play with her and love her.

Glad you liked ‘Milk’ and ‘Honey’ in Tara’s tea. Our shy girl is getting wicked . . .

Laxative in the cocoa? WAY too funny! Haha, Queen C, how does it feel to be played at your own game?

And omg, landing in old Finchy's lap?

Always, always thanks to Mary’s exceptional grit and herding skill at the end!


Love2003:
Sad to see that Tree left, but glad that her friends took the proper revenge out on Cordelia.

Thanks for remembering, the revenge was all about what she did to a decent, hardworking young woman who really loved kids and was great with them.


Robin AKA LonelyTara:
This was an enjoyable chapter. I really loved the interaction of all the campers with Mouse, and the hint of humanity that we got from Veronica. The kids are ever-more delightful.

Glad you like them!!! They’ll need all your support for their upcoming game AND they will be a part of the ultimate showdown between Queen ‘B’ and the forces of good!

Wow, how would she ever recover from that kind of humiliation? I wonder if she'll even be present in the rest of the story.

Cordelia is going to have to move to another planet. (Hooray )

Sadly, most of the other counselors don’t know the extent of Cordy’s machinations and not even Carly doesn’t know all the little cruelties Cordelia has visited on our girls. Instead they see Cordelia, severely humiliated, and they feel sorry for her! Sadly, she is now building a power base and the counselors themselves are protecting her. (Along with Mrs. Finch’s terminal stupidity!)


BlondCavalier:
I loved the beginning where Willow cries because she can't find the words to express her love for Tara.

Thank you, that seems to have worked for you and others and I am so very, very glad.

I also love Willow, Tara, and the campers playing the "Mouse in the house" game. Mouse is so precious! If they ever get to play another softball game against Cordelia's team, I think she should get to hit a ball.

Glad you love her, I’d love to see a hit, but she is only 4 and the bat is way too heavy for her.

but still, wasn't that revenge a little, well, um...gross? I don't know, maybe that's just me though. Maybe they can do something a little less graphic but still effective in a later chapter

No more laxatives . . I’ll guarantee that much! Thanks for writing and following the story!
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