Reunion

[Alcy]

Hi Cam. I seemed to have missed two updates…I can never keep up but it does make it enjoyable to have more to read when I finally do. Especially in relation to these two chapters as they worked well read one after the other for obvious reasons.

Firstly Tara: I shared Tara’s frustration with the noise in her condo, I used to live in an inner city apartment block with very thin walls. We had a budding DJ living next door and to tell the truth he should have kept to his day job!
I also understand her need to have her house to herself, although I’ve lived with my partner for two years now (and love her very much of course!) there are still moments/hours where I really enjoy just being home alone…and I have annoying dogs that don’t creep people out but rather ‘love’ them out!
I really loved the structure of this chapter, it was nice to have Tara at home, thinking back on the night before and her wistfully longing to wake up next to Willow forever was beautifully written, as was the ending where they fall into each others arms.

Willow: Ben sounded like a nice guy on the phone…probably the type of guy that I would marry to keep my parents happy! I guess I wasn’t really surprised at how well he took it because Willow had always stated that they were friends. You wrote what could have been a long, drawn out break-up speech very succinctly which kept the pace of the story moving forward when it could have ground to a stop.
It saddens me to think of the 15 years they lost…cos that’s like a really long time! But then there was mucho cuteness and the promise of more to come as they get to know each other again. I’m also glad they didn’t kiss (although nothing wrong with kissing each other senseless at all!) because it means their first kiss (for the second time) is still to come, and that’s something to anticipate…

[CrazyTaraWitch]

finally caught up, and this chapter was definately worth the wait:)
I love seeing how our ladies reconnect, and the way you describe Willow's feelings is just perfect. The 'our' part totally reminded me of myself. I like how you show both the changes and constants in their personalities. this was great, I hope to see morre soon

[JustSkipIt]

Cam - what a great update. I'm thrilled to see the entire Willow/Benjamin side of the conversation (or does Willow generally spell it in Yiddish? I'll have to go look. If so, excuse the Americanization of it). It's about what I expected from hearing her side.

Now the thing. I know that everyone else is all happy and part of me is too. But the bigger part is just overwhelmed with sadness and regret for them. I mean 15 years? I think about my life. How long was the time from 22 to 37? Or from any age to 15 years later. It's almost literally a lifetime (or perhaps 1/6 lifetime). It's an insane amount of time to spend being stubborn or unhappy or unrequited. And to find out that they both felt that way is just tragically sad and pathetic. I know that they can only move forward but for now, I just feel sad for them.

[JujuDeRoussie]

Hello!

Oh Willow's update is good ^^... I was glad for the divorce, now I'm double glad lol.

They have 15 years wasted... long processus to see how their life is different... but sure they still fit! Otherwise you wouldn't write your fic ^^

Thank you for the update...

Julia

[Boschi]

You make a story about guilt ridden, flawed Willow and wounded but strong/caring Tara seem new, fresh and sincere. Particularly considering the website, this is pretty amazing. We really all are horrible addicts, aren't we?

The scene of them hugging in Willows room and then having the Big Talk read well. Nothing quite like that helpless "oh shit, I've stepped off the cliff of acknowledging a profound error - I hope I land someplace soft".

At anyrate, looking forward to reading more.

Regards,

Boschi

[watty]

I knew we will have reason to like Benjamin, he's soooo understanding of Willow, even more than she herself I think. Very perceptive of him about this person that Willow lost all those years ago. I don't think she talked about Tara to him that much, if at all. I don't think Willow did anything that touched on emotions for 15 years. Nicely done with showing Willow's side of the convo with him, and the whole chapter just flowed. Seamlessly. Really. So great that they have the maturity to lay it all out in the open -- Willow's marriage, Tara's bedhopping (well, to Willow anyway) and how easily they bantered. The light-heartedness in the middle of the potentially heavy stuff gave this chapter balance.

“Wait. I’m important or I’m a process?”

and

“Are you calling me an old sweater?”

Aside from the laugh-out-loud factor, how these two remarks echoed each other was a sure sign that they're in sync, already. I also liked that they haven't kissed yet. Talking, getting back in the same space, those are more important processes right now. Can't wait for what happens at the BBQ. I think it's gonna be very sweet, and there'll be inappropriate Anya comments may be.


[br]

[EasierSaid]

Camster - I missed a few updates (grr!), so please allow me to catch up a bit on my feedback with a list (and I promise I've really concentrated on improving my reading comprehension since my last fb - oops!).

a) Wow, Willow was nervous about seeing Tara again. I wish I could say I didn't know what that felt like - you did an excellent job of capturing how stress can affect a person's entire being, right down to causing physical pain. It was really great to see the reunion from Willow's POV. Buffy scoping out the DJ was great, but I especially liked how accurate and pervasive Willow's voice was throughout. You managed to flush out Willow and Tara's characters while steadily advancing the plot simultaneously, through spot-on language and reactions; it may have been 'Willow's' chapter, but it was pretty awesomely evenly about both of them. That's pretty cool, considering we weren't privy to Tara's inner monologue. Leslie's slip was interesting, and just the push Willow needed to see things for what the past really was, a big hunk o' misunderstanding. I liked that you had Willow decline the dance, and in a way that didn't completely smush Tara's feelings. Way to successfully swim in tricky waters!

2) Tara waking up and feeling hopeful was really refreshing. Completely adore Miss Kitty the Third. Cats are the awesome. I really, really liked how Tara thought about how she didn't really know this-Willow... until Willow opened her big yap and telegraphed that she was who Tara remembered, and that Tara felt comfortable enough to pick up on that. That was very awww and honest - loved that. Was fun getting caught up on Tara's thoughts about the reunion, with the best part being that her remembrances were sort of what I thought she was thinking in the previous update based on your great writing of her reactions, so no huge surprises there. Dawn kicking a teenage-like crushing Tara out of her kitchen was priceless, and Tara bravely heading over to the hotel was great. Then the big bombshell. Wow - sudden, but hey, you said from jump that this was a ditty not an epic opus, and so it makes sense for Willow to blurt everything out in the way she did. You managed it well, and it didn't come off as too sudden. Loved Tara's reactions, damn near perfect. It was hard to read Willow opening up, and Tara allowing her to, from an emotional pov without a little lump in the throat. Really, really enjoyed their exchange.

iii) You know, I think you could have easily gotten away without showing Willow's side of the divorce conversation; that said, it was interesting, and insightful, showing just how decisive this Willow is. She needed something to move forward, so she just did it. None of the hesitation from the previous night's nervous wreck, just matter-of-fact, "dude, give me a d-i-v-o-r-c-e." Their conversation was interesting in another way, in that it showed just exactly how alone Willow's been all those years. That the married pair never talked about Tara, or even that Willow had been in a gay relationship pretty much speaks to how much Willow kept to herself. Must have been so very hard. Really liked how Willow's honesty was a conscious decision, and not the result of poor impulse control. That shows a lot of maturity, and was a very subtle hint that this Willow is older, and wiser maybe, than the girl Tara once knew. Neat trick. Willow and Tara's conversation on the couch was pretty gut-wrenching, given the amount of time apart they were discussing, but it was also pretty darn hopeful. Lost time is devastating, sure, but there is the promise of the rest of their lives, which is a nice save. I liked that you kept their connection emotional and mental; kisses would have been nice, but easy - making up for lost time comes in a lot of different ways, and I liked that you had them doing that through words. Kudos.

In conclusion, I like this story a lot. Thanks very much for writing it!

[pipsberg]

Cam!

What's up butthead? So, as I told you recently, it's been a long time since I have even been on the board, but I really wanted to come back and read a few stories because I heard very good things about your updates. True to form, you've given another great story for our reading pleasure.

I really like the two-sided version of their experience. It makes their personalities more real to see how they both react to the same situation. I also like the change in the cannon story... well, duh with Tara not being dead, but also with the fact that you explored a not so tidy possible route with the 15 years of distance. It's really sad and realistic from that perspective.

I'm really, really enjoying this! Keep 'em coming!

[teenwillow]

please update soon!!!!! it seems like forever since i last read an update to this story lol it probably isnt really that long but still.... i really love this fic lol and it has great potential!!!!!

[Bewitchedyke]

Hey!! I am really loving this story!! Would you please update?? Please??

[tarawhipped]

Replies to Part 6…

Safuega: I agree that Ben rocks, but then, I wrote him to. As for the not dwelling on the past…there may be a little of that in the next part (really, just a smidge), but why dwell on all the time they lost when they can use the time they have to reconnect? Thank you.[br]
tazraven: I apologize in advance if my reply makes no sense, but I keep getting distracted by your avatar. Mmmm.

I'm so happy. In fact, I'm happy enough that I'm worried. I don't want to say it was easy, but it wasn't hard. I mean, I knw the years spent apart more than accounts for any angst, but still. Maybe it' because they are so meant for each other. I can only hope that this is the start of happiness, and not a hiatus from the evil.

I can tell you that you don’t need to worry. No evil of any kind will be interrupting the pursuit of happiness. I get what you say about it not being that hard, but I believe that a lot of the time in relationships (of all kinds…friendships/work/love), drama is created where it isn’t necessary. In my experience, people choose to make things easier or harder, depending on their personalities/motivations/etc. I wanted both of them to be more grounded in their lives, becoming aware of what they want, and willing to put themselves out there (without the added drama), which is a pretty hard thing to do…but I won’t throw any vampires into the mix. I’m glad you pointed out the dialogue you did. Each of those were bits I really enjoyed writing. Thanks, Sara.[br]
Dianneswillowtree: I’m glad everyone liked Benjamin, but yes, it’s time for him to go away so Willow and Tara can be in Big Gay Love. Thanks.[br]
dlline: No hidden badness around the corner, Diane…no worries. Thanks for the remarks on Willow’s maturation. There will more of that in the next part. I doubt there’s anyone who wouldn’t want a time machine. I would love to go find 17 year old me and yell “you’re a lesbian! Go to Smith and find other lesbians! And quit smoking, dumbass!”[br]
db:

I am glad that you put in Willow's version of the conversation with Ben, it made so much more sense! I am a little confused though, 'cause I thought theirs was a marriage of convenience, and it seems like news to him that Tara even existed. Were they in a sexual relationship at any point or was it just friendship?

My feeling was that if Willow wouldn’t even hear about Tara from Buffy and her friends, she wouldn’t be talking about her with Benjamin. Basically, they were friends and colleagues…never in a sexual relationship. He was just intuitive enough to realize that she had been hurt before, and since Willow admitted that at least one woman had asked her out during grad school, the clues were there for him to piece together. Thanks for asking, and I hope that’s more clear.[br]
I like your comments on the honesty and trust building. I think miscommunication/lack of communication is a fairly common theme, and who knows…maybe this whole fic is my subtle (until now) way of telling those other authors *coughDebracoughHeathercoughCar* see? See how nice it is when all is out in the open? Come…join me. Hehehe. As for Tara, yes she deserves her share of blame, but don’t be too hard on her for Leslie, since magic-flinging Willow was off clubbing with Amy at the time. But enough of blame…they’re over it. I’m so glad you and several others quoted the sweater line, ‘cause I thought that was a good turning point in their going from ‘worried about not understanding each other’ to ‘not only understanding, but able to tease and joke around.’ And yes, it was a shout out to the scene in The Body. When I was trying to come up with a good simile, I thought of Willow’s misplaced worry over the sweater that was there all along, she just couldn’t see it. As for kissage, it’ll happen, but as you pointed out, they aren’t kids anymore. They’ll get there when it’s time. Thank you![br]
teenwillow: Thanks so much for the praise on the style, and for bumping this a few weeks ago. I really wanted to work on it, but sinus headaches kept the muse away. Seeing it back at the top of the page was a great motivator.[br]
sadie: Thank you, and I’m glad I got over my first person fear and decided to do the alternating POV. It started on Tara, and I think it will be ending on Willow (the chapter after next), so it’s worked out well.[br]
Emms: I’m also glad I wrote out the whole divorce convo, ‘cause I really didn’t want it to seem as though Willow was just throwing it out there to Tara without showing how ok Benjamin was with it. Plus it led right into the big heart-to-heart, which was so necessary. No kisses yet, but soon. Thanks, Emmy.[br]
diamondforever: LOL on the ‘scarily convenient.’ Yeah, I just didn’t want to drag it out, but I tried to make it clear that it wasn’t just Willow who saw the marriage as a friendship that had drifted…Benjamin wasn’t getting anything out of it besides occasional company and a tax break. Thanks for commenting on the pacing, too. I keep telling myself “it’s been 15 years…they wouldn’t do that” whenever I start making things move too fast, or am tempted to skip something. After all, I started this because the whole “can we just skip it” scene never rang true to me. Thank you.[br]
Alcy: No worries on late feedback, Alcy…lord knows I’m terrible about it. Noisy neighbors suck…and I’m going on 9 years in the city after spending most of my life in a small New England town, so it was quite a change. It’s frankly amazing that I haven’t gone completely nuts yet.[br]
Thanks r.e. the pacing and structure and relationships. I’ve learned a lot from the writers on this board (you included) about using a structure that suits the story, and am really glad I went with first person here and alternating views. I can’t imagine going back and writing it third person…it just wouldn’t be as revealing, I don’t think. As for the 15 years…I was rereading Old Fire, and noticed that I really harshed on Kaia for keeping them apart for 9 years. LOL. Guess I subconsciously had to outdo her. If you’re reading this, K…sorry! Still no first kiss…exactly…but that just means more anticipation, right? Thanks, Alcy.[br]
CrazyTaraWitch: Thank you, I hope this one will be worth the wait as well. Stupid sinuses. I’m glad you can see both “changes and constants” in them…I’ve been focusing more on the constants, and am glad the changes—mostly from the early chapters—are still present.[br]
JustSkipIt: First off, I’ve been using ‘Benjamin’ throughout, and wasn’t even aware there was a Yiddish spelling. Secondly, yeah, 15 years is a chunk of time, but figure they’ve got a good 50, 60 years together at least (and by the time they’re in their 90s, people will be living to an average of 132)…so 15 years is a drop in the bucket. Don’t be sad. I could have written that Tara dropped out of school and went back to her no good family, where she was all but imprisoned as a cook and maid. Meanwhile, Willow became a strung out magic junkie, living on the street, selling her body for herbs. See? Doesn’t my story seem happy-go-lucky now? Seriously, though, I agree that it’s a long time to hold on to feelings, and if I had it to do over I would have made it their 10 year reunion so it wouldn’t be as bad. Still, Tara’s a successful author and therapist, and Willow is a top scientist/professor of some sort (I still don’t want to figure out in what), and if they’d stayed together in Sunnydale, who knows what kind of badness might have occurred that wouldn’t have allowed them to reach this point?[br]
JujuDeRoussie: I try to think of their lives as not wasted, but as focused on other things. They both have successful careers, and yes, they’ve been unfulfilled in their personal lives, but now that will change. Thank you.[br]
Boschi:

You make a story about guilt ridden, flawed Willow and wounded but strong/caring Tara seem new, fresh and sincere. Particularly considering the website, this is pretty amazing. We really all are horrible addicts, aren't we?

Okay, 1: thank you. I’ve read and enjoyed a lot of stories where one or both leave town due to Willow’s magic use, and don’t get back together for some time, and wanted to put my own spin on it. I love the response it’s gotten. 2: yes, we are! This is the only fandom I’ve ever become a part of, and I’d never even heard of fanfic until a little over 3 years ago (my wife is probably still kicking herself for introducing me to it). There’s something so special about these characters, and maybe it’s because I grew up in the 70s and 80s when there were no lesbians on TV, but they just struck a chord. I hope it lasts a good long while. Glad you’re enjoying it, and thanks again.[br]
watty: Wow, thanks so much, Watty…for your comments, but also for your advice on the last chapter, especially in regards to flow. Once I’ve gotten going on any chapter, it really has flowed out of me, and it’s nice to know it’s coming across that way too. Regarding Benjamin:

I don't think [Willow] talked about Tara to him that much, if at all. I don't think Willow did anything that touched on emotions for 15 years.

Exactly. I hoped their choice of careers would illustrate their different coping mechanisms too: Willow chose science, where she could focus on quantifiable data and logic (head not heart), while Tara became a therapist, dealing with other people’s issues instead of her own. Avoidance and deflection. Yes, the process and sweater lines were not only intended as humor (though I’m glad they worked that way), but also to show that they were still/once again in sync, and able to relax/joke with each other. There will be an inappropriate Anya comment at the BBQ, but perhaps not what you would expect.[br]
EasierSaid:

I promise I've really concentrated on improving my reading comprehension since my last fb

That’s great! Now maybe you can work on your outline consistency skills…seriously, dude…a, 2, iii? [br]
I’ve never puked from nervousness at seeing someone again, but I often get nauseous…before flying, before giving a speech (and luckily that doesn’t come up often), when faced with an unknown (and sometimes known) social situation. Willow’s always had that high-strung personality that I figured would be prone to hurling, but now that she knows where she stands, she’ll be okay.[br]
As for Tara’s update, I had fun with that one. Once the initial tension bubble was burst, it was nice to have her interactions with mini-mom of Momdonia Dawn suddenly seeming to be the most mature one of the bunch. The rest of the story won’t have the back-tracking that I used here, but I thought it was important, and like that everyone seems to have appreciated seeing both sides. Willow was such a wreck, and it was fun showing that Tara could see right through her.[br]
And back to Willow…thank you. Willow has been very isolated…though mostly from her own feelings, which I think will make more sense after the next part. She does have people in her life, but the one who should be closest (her spouse), is more like a cardboard cutout…a stand-in for who she really wants. Sad, yes, as is the length of time, but I’m glad you mention that they still have the rest of their lives. That’s why there’s no rushing to kisses, and I appreciate everyone’s patience (not that you, of all people, could get away with demanding kisses now ). Thanks, Heather.[br]
pipsberg: Butthead, my friend! So good to see you here, and I’m so pleased you’re enjoying this…nice to know my PR company is working so hard. Glad you like seeing both sides…I was worried about writing in first person at all, and more so in both voices, but that’s where having a split personality comes in so handy. Seriously, thank you. This has been a different writing experience for me, and I love the response.[br]
Bewitchedyke: Thank you, and yes…update next.[br]

[tarawhipped]

Reunion
by Tarawhipped
Rated R
Feedback: Please!
Distribution: Different Colored Pens & Mystic Muse. All others please ask first.
Disclaimer: All things Buffy are the sole property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Summary: See part one.[br][br][br]
Tara[br][br]
The ramifications of arriving at the barbecue together didn’t occur to me until we were pulling into the driveway. What would they think? From my two minute conversation with Anya, it was clear what she was thinking, and I had to admit—to myself, at least—that ‘jumping Willow’s bones’ as she’d so eloquently phrased it, was an attractive idea. Imagining it and acting on it were two entirely different things, however, and I wasn’t about to rush anything.[br]
My worries were eased when we walked into the backyard. While there was no mistaking the questioning glances and meaningfully raised eyebrows directed at both of us, there were more surprising sights to see. When Xander had said the whole gang would be there, he hadn’t been exaggerating. I heard Willow squeal “Giles!” before I actually saw him, his gray hair a little thinner, his glasses a little thicker, but otherwise looking exactly as he had the last time I’d seen him, and thus began the second reunion of the weekend…or was it the third?[br]
Riley was there with his wife, Sam, who I’d heard about but never met. Riley had retired from covert ops after an encounter with a Raknor demon the previous year had cost him his lower left leg, but he managed very well with a prosthesis and cane. He and Mr. Giles sat companionably near the grill, swapping war stories and critiquing Xander’s barbequing skills. Sam and Buffy sat at the picnic table, also swapping war stories, though theirs seemed to lean more toward the ‘how to get M’Fashnik guts out of the carpet’ end of the spectrum. Anya and Dawn each had their hands full with their respective infants, while Grant was up in the enormous tree house with Katie and the Harris triplets, Jesse, Jenny and Joyce.[br]
I followed in Willow’s wake as we made the rounds, content to hang back and watch her interact with everyone. From what I gathered, she had visited Mr. Giles in England a number of times. I was so used to the Scoobies treating him as the authoritative father figure of the group that it was a surprise to see he and Willow relate to each other as equals. I even thought I heard her call him Rupert at one point. She had apparently become close friends with Sam as well, primarily through virtual chat, and the kids all adored her.[br]
It was all so familiar, yet different. It occurred to me that at one time our gathering would have meant an impending apocalypse, but now it was simply a get-together of old friends. While there was still a bit of drama—Jenny was given a time out for throwing a handful of macaroni salad at Jesse—our lives were much the same as anyone else’s. Despite the rush of adrenalin and satisfaction that came with helping to save the world, I didn’t miss it.[br]
There were other things I did miss…or miss out on.[br]
I missed watching Dawn becoming every bit as much the mother Joyce had been. I missed seeing Xander construct a tree house that put most of the homes in the greater Sunnydale area to shame. I missed Anya blurting out what everyone was thinking…whether or not the rest of us would admit it. I missed watching the kids growing up and into their unique personalities. I missed out on hundreds of spontaneous conversations that might have developed over coffee with all of them. And Willow…[br]
I missed everything about Willow.[br]
Lunch was long over, and the shadows were lengthening across the back yard. Grant left to take Jeremy home and work on a brief for the next day. The rest of the kids were trundled off to the Harris’ rec room to watch a video. Xander lit the citronella torches surrounding the patio while Buffy broke out a pitcher of homemade sangria. Riley and Sam declined in favor of beer, explaining that they’d come across a bar in the Canary Islands where the warlock owner made the drink with real blood to bring in vampires, and they’d never gotten over the imagery.[br]
“Blood drinks…yuck,” Dawn appraised, sticking out her tongue.[br]
“It’s fascinating,” Mr. Giles mused. “Not the blood drinks…but witches and vampires as a rule don’t generally do business with one another. Their mutual mistrust dates back to the witch hunts of the Middle Ages.”[br]
“It’s capitalism,” Anya interjected happily. “Supply and demand. The bar owner needs business. If the vamps eat all the tourists, he’s screwed. He supplies the vamps with blood, the tourists with alcohol. The vamps don’t kill so many people that others are scared off, and everybody wins.”[br]
“Everyone except the dead people,” Willow pointed out.[br]
Anya scoffed. “If the warlock is worth his salt, he could just resurrect them. It’s not that hard,” she added, fluttering a hand between Buffy and Willow.[br]
“An,” Xander said gently.[br]
I felt my stomach clench at the reminder of what she, Xander, Willow and I had done. The heavy silence that followed was painful, and while I wanted to look at Willow to gauge her reaction, I kept my eyes averted, afraid of what I might see there. When she chuckled quietly, I couldn’t help but snap my head up in surprise. She was looking at Anya with wry amusement.[br]
“Sure, it’s a snap…except for the part where you willingly become a conduit to dark forces—though I suppose if he’s already evil he wouldn’t care—and trust me, those forces leave a mark. Oh yeah, and there’s also the whole ‘playing God’ aspect, the depraved indifference to all laws of nature and man. But other than those eensie little things…piece o’ cake!”[br]
“See?” Anya told Xander. “Willow understands.”[br]
“Actually Anya, I was disagreeing with you,” Willow said, her tone apologetic. “Sorry, but I’m hardly the poster child for successful resurrecting. Just because it was a success in one respect doesn’t make up for all the negative consequences, and ultimately it was wrong since it came from a selfish impulse. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t. No offense, Buffy.”[br]
“None taken,” Buffy replied with a smile. “I’m happy to be back…now, but I wish you hadn’t put yourself in that place to do it.”[br]
The two shared a hug across the arms of their chairs, and I relaxed. As uncomfortable as the subject was, I felt ecstatic at the way Willow had handled it. Where once she might have been defensive and sullen, she was now calm and rational. She could have brought up the fact that it wasn’t just her—all four of us had participated, after all—but she didn’t. She was owning up to her personal culpability and making amends. I was overjoyed. It was the same reaction I got whenever one of my patients had a real breakthrough. Despite her genius, the Willow I knew had always been ruled more by her emotions than her reason, and I wondered where this introspection had come from.[br]
“That reminds me,” Mr.Giles said, looking at Willow, “I heard from Meredith recently. The coven was wondering if you’d be coming to Devon for Lammas this year.”[br]
“She just wants me to do the baking,” Willow said with a grin. “Honestly, I’m not sure what my plans for the summer are, but I’ll give her call next week.”[br]
Giles nodded and turned his attention to Buffy and Dawn, while Xander and Anya engaged Riley and Sam in conversation about the joys of parenting. I sat in contemplative silence, staring at Willow, who met my gaze and smiled broadly.[br]
“Whatcha thinking about?” she asked after several moments.[br]
“You,” I replied. “And covens…Lammas…baking?”[br]
She laughed out loud then, rolling her eyes at my obvious incredulity.[br]
“I know, I know. They helped me a lot…the coven. After I stopped practicing, I was completely out of balance, and they made me see that it wasn’t my abilities that were the problem, but my instincts, and motivations.”[br]
I nodded a little, encouraging her to go on, and smothered my own gut instincts of hurt and ‘I told you so.’ She scooted her chair closer to mine, so that we were both sitting slightly out of the circle of friends, and leaned forward, her forearms resting on her knees.[br]
“Believe me, I’m aware of the irony that you’d been telling me this all along, and they didn’t get through right away, either. I resisted having anything to do with magic. I was so convinced that it was the root of the problem, not me, that I refused to do any spells or join in any rituals, even under supervision. That’s where the baking came in.”[br]
I raised a hand to stifle a giggle, which did not go unnoticed. While I had heard stories of one batch of edible cookies Willow had once made—even Spike had said they were a nummy treat—her experiments in the kitchen were usually just that: experiments. She tweaked recipes like she tweaked spells…with expectedly mixed results. For someone so well-versed in chemistry, it had always perplexed me that she relied on the ‘let’s see what’ll happen if I double this, omit that, and throw in a pinch of whatever’ method in magic or cooking.[br]
“Go ahead and laugh,” she said, joining me after two seconds of poorly acted offense. “But it worked. They put me in a kitchen with recipes and ingredients for both a seven-layer cake with coffee mousse filling and chocolate ganache…or a loaf of white bread. Guess which one I decided to make?”[br]
“Coffee and chocolate? They really had your number. How did it turn out?”[br]
“They still refer to it as the Dante cake. Seven layers of not-quite-hell, but close.”[br]
“Oh sweetie,” I laughed, and her eyes lit up. I hadn’t consciously meant to slip in the endearment, but found my thumping at her radiance. “You mussed the mousse?”[br]
“I monumentally mussed the mousse,” she agreed. “Meredith asked me why I chose to make the cake, and at first I insisted that it just sounded yummier. Why eat plain old bread when you can eat chocolatey coffee goodness, right? When she pointed out that we wouldn’t be having either, I went storming off to my room, but lying in bed that night, it hit me. I’d wanted to impress them, not feed them. I’d made a choice based on my feelings, without taking theirs into consideration. The next day, I went back to the kitchen and made a damn fine loaf of boring old white bread. It sounds kind of Karate Kid, but once they’d convinced me it was okay for me to use magic when necessary, I learned to always apply the baking principle: don’t attempt a big complicated cake when a simple loaf of bread will suffice, and follow the directions. Of course, now I always end up making bread for them, even though I can make a decent cake if I have to. And I meant that last part in the non-magicy-metaphor sense.”[br]
“So you’re a part of the coven?” I asked, wondering if she was actually living in England.[br]
“No, I just spend the sabbats with them if one falls when I’m visiting Giles. It’s always nice to spend the holidays with kindred spirits. I don’t get the opportunity to socialize with other witches much.”[br]
“No?”[br]
“If the subject even comes up, it’s usually jokes about warts and pointy hats and ‘shouldn’t you be in Salem?’ Most of the self-identified witches I’ve met are the same old wanna-blessed-bes, only with Boston accents.”[br]
My breath caught in my throat, and I swear my heart stopped beating for a minute.[br]
“You’re still in Boston?”[br]
“Yep. Wait…still? You knew?” she asked, her voice small.[br]
“Buffy told me when you went to M.I.T.,” I explained. “It’s just…I’m living in Boston.”[br]
“You—where? How long? Wow, this is…wow.”[br]
“South End, since March. I had a place in Gloucester for the past few years, but wanted to be closer to work.”[br]
She was staring at me wide eyed and slack jawed, and I’m sure my expression was much the same. I glanced over at Dawn, remembering her question the day before, and caught both her and Buffy grinning smugly back at me. They’d known all along. I couldn’t believe they’d never said anything, but I suppose they figured we’d either find out on our own or not. In truth, if they had told me, I probably would have either obsessively looked for her everywhere, or never left the house except to go to work. Still, it was astounding. I couldn’t help but wonder how many times we might have inadvertently crossed each others’ paths; a figure that escalated when she said she lived in Back Bay. We were practically neighbors.[br]
“Have dinner with me,” I blurted out.[br]
“Absolutely,” she beamed. “Oh, there’s this Ethiopian place on Tremont I’ve been dying to try.”[br]
“Oh, um,” I blushed, realizing she’d misinterpreted my outburst. “I actually meant now…though I know the place you mean, and I’d love to go there with you.”[br]
“Now?” she cringed, her face falling when she looked at her watch. “I made dinner plans with my mom. She’s leaving for Seattle in the morning, and I was supposed to see her for breakfast today but I needed the extra sleep.”[br]
I tried to hide my disappointment, telling myself I would see her again soon, but was apparently unsuccessful.[br]
“You know what? I’ll cancel. Where do you want to go?”[br]
“Willow, you can’t. You should see you mom. We’ll have dinner another night.”[br]
“Tomorrow?” she asked hopefully. “The Fondue Hut is still around, and Xander says the Board of Health reinstated their license.”[br]
“I’m flying home at 10 o’clock tonight,” I said sadly. “I have a group session tomorrow morning I couldn’t reschedule.”[br]
“Oh,” she whispered, frowning.[br]
“When will you be back?”[br]
“Next Sunday.”[br]
Considering I’d gone fifteen long years without her, one more week would hardly seem to matter, but I couldn’t stand the thought of it. It was too soon to be separated again. My chest ached and I felt completely drained. I sat there trying to come up with a way to justify the damage to my patients if I cancelled, and had almost managed to convince myself it wouldn’t be that bad when Willow’s hands closed around mine.[br]
“It’s only a week,” she stated firmly, her brave little toaster face to the fore. “And we can still talk, right? That is, if I had your number.”[br]
I sighed, knowing she was right even if I was fully willing to commit career suicide if she asked me to…and thankful that she hadn’t. We traded cell phones and entered our numbers for each other, both of us giggling and sharing covert grins. The party had begun to wind down around us, and when Mr. Giles started openly yawning, we all said our goodbyes.[br]
I drove Willow to her parents’ house and spent an awkward moment in the car, trapped between wanting to kiss her and knowing that if I did, leaving would be that much harder. From her silence I assumed she was going through the same thought process. In the end we settled for a long hug, and a promise to talk the next day. I was pulling out of the driveway when my phone rang, and I stopped to look at the screen, which displayed the caller as ‘Breast Gal.’ I flipped it open and smirked at Willow, who stood at the front door, watching me. She waited for me to raise the phone to my ear.[br]
“I miss you already,” she said, raising a hand to her lips and then touching the mouthpiece. My breath hitched, and tears clouded my eyes. I couldn’t even answer I was so overwhelmed, but she relayed her understanding with a nod and a smile. She ended the call and turned to knock on the door; not waiting for an answer before entering, a spring in her step. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and drove away, praying for the week to pass quickly.[br]
Back at Dawn’s we had dinner, after which I packed and fended off her attempts to find out what had happened between me and Will. I insisted that it was too soon to talk about, which was met with ‘but there is something to talk about?’ I couldn’t stop myself from grinning, which elicited a high pitched squeal that set Daisy barking madly in reply. I accepted Grant’s offer to drive me to the airport, and after hugs and promises to visit more often, we set out.[br]
It was quarter past nine when I got up to the ticket counter to check in. Several airlines’ booths were already dark for the evening, and the piped in music seemed unusually loud in the quiet of the terminal.[br]
“Not many people here this time of night,” I commented to the clerk.[br]
“Nope,” he agreed, hefting my bag off of the scale and onto the conveyer belt. “And your flight is only twenty-five percent full, so you should get an entire row to yourself,” he smiled, handing me my boarding pass and i.d. and pointing down the lobby. “Gate 22.”[br]
I stopped to buy a bottled water and a magazine, and by the time I arrived at the gate they were already boarding. While a part of me was glad I didn’t have to sit and wait, which would inevitably lead to dwelling on Willow and wishing she was here, I couldn’t help but look around a little sadly. There was a time I couldn’t wait to leave Sunnydale, and many more that I rejected the idea of ever coming back. Now it seemed as though I was leaving home instead of going there.[br]
When we saw each other back in our real worlds, would the feelings be the same, or was it just an illusion borne of familiarity? I couldn’t answer that yet. I just had to wait and trust…and if I’d learned anything over the past two days, it was that Willow deserved my trust.[br]
I walked down the corridor and onto the plane. The flight attendant was cheerfully telling people to take their assigned seats for take off, but that afterwards we could spread out. I slid into 17F, relieved to find the row vacant thus far, stowed my water in the pocket in front of me, and snapped my seat belt closed. Foregoing my magazine for the time being, I stared out the window, my eyes drawn to Willow’s hotel. All too soon, the captain was announcing our imminent takeoff, and we taxied away from the gate. With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes until we were in the air, and was feeling on the verge of falling asleep when I heard a familiar voice.[br]
“Is this seat taken?”[br][br]
TBC[br][br][br]

[db]

dibs!

...and I'm back to provide proper feedback

Let me just start by saying how pleased I was to see an update. I love this little taie!

There are a qutie a few things that stuck out for me in this update - and each one of them was a small detail that kind of added to the larger picture. The descriptions of Willow's maturity -- calling Giles 'Rupert' her baking the bread/learning from the coffee chocolate cake fiasco, aall Tara's observations and, really, between the old Willow and *this* Willow. Out of all of these details, I was especially enamored of the moment where Anya comments on the resurection:

“If the warlock is worth his salt, he could just resurrect them. It’s not that hard,” she added, fluttering a hand between Buffy and Willow."

It was funny and innapropriate and totally Anya and Willow's ressponse: (please pardon the extensive quote -- but this was the part of the update that struck me most)

“Sure, it’s a snap…except for the part where you willingly become a conduit to dark forces—though I suppose if he’s already evil he wouldn’t care—and trust me, those forces leave a mark. Oh yeah, and there’s also the whole ‘playing God’ aspect, the depraved indifference to all laws of nature and man. But other than those eensie little things…piece o’ cake!”[br]
“See?” Anya told Xander. “Willow understands.”[br]
“Actually Anya, I was disagreeing with you,” Willow said, her tone apologetic. “Sorry, but I’m hardly the poster child for successful resurrecting. Just because it was a success in one respect doesn’t make up for all the negative consequences, and ultimately it was wrong since it came from a selfish impulse. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t. No offense, Buffy.”

wow.

Just... Wow.

Right there with this small footnote in their convesation you paint this vivid discription of the ways Willow has changed. It means *everything*... for Willow, for Willow and Tara, for Buffy... just. wow. And you worked it into the conversation! Have I mentioned that I lurve this tale recently? Well I do (shh, don't say anything, but I think it's the writing).

I really could go on and on about the little details - the hand on Tara;s knee, the phone call and the little kiss to the reciever, the maintaining of healthy boundaries... but really? Most of the point of what I am saying is captured in the above quote.... Willow has chaged. The event's that destroyed her and Tara's relationship really did change her ...and she's better for it.

So. There they are, 15 years later all smitten with each other (and it turns out they live blocks away from each other?!). I hope to god that seat isn't taken (we all know it isn't) and that when they get back to Boston it's time for some coffee, food, kisses and gay love.

Great update!

db

[JujuDeRoussie]

awww that was great ^^

It is Willow right? or is it Lindsay? (oops is it Lindsay her name?)

anyway.
Thank you very much for this update
I didn't mean it was a waste for their lives but it is 15 years lost... I still use the wrong word sometimes because of the french translation

I am waiting patiently for the next update, thanks

Julia

[diamondforever]

Awwwww, warm-and-fuzzies all around! I'm blushing from the warmth of it all! That was so sweet and fluffy and I loved it so much!

[Willowtree252]

Is this seat taken?”

Cliffhanger much .............. this is a wonderful update full of hope and love I can,t wait to get to Boston.

[writerfreak]

Oh my dear sweet goddess. Cliffhanger much? I feel like I've just been on an emotional rollercoaster about 20 times in a row. Don't know whether to laugh or cry or laugh and cry. Its wonderful of course, in an odd sort of messed up way. I like the way it was written, cause I certainly feel every ounce of it. It was like I was there watching from a distance. It broke my heart yet mended it all at the same time. I think I need to go have a good cry now, followed by a nice long hearty laugh.

writerfreak

[wimpy0729]

Oh Cam, this was just so sweet. The whole group being all together and Tara feeling like this was more like her home again. Loved the way Willow was able to talk to her about all the things in the past. And now, the familiar voice? Please let it be her, pretty please?


Wimpy

[tarawhipped]

Okay, my bad! It did not even occur to me that the familiar voice could be anyone else, so I didn't realize I was being cliffhangery. While a part of me wishes I had thought of it, I really don't want people focusing on the who, since it's so not the issue, so I'm just going to say it...it's Willow.

-Cam

[writerfreak]

As for my part in the cliffhanger much feedback, I would like to say that there was never a doubt in my mind that it was Willow, however the reason I think it is said cliffhanger is the reaction of Tara that hasn't been shown yet. Waiting patiently til the next chapter for that by the way. I simply meant the cliffhanger because of the impending reactions, good or bad. There is a possibility of both because of Willow blowing off some other things she had to do, but it could be good because Tara will be happy to see her there. That would be why I said that, not because I had any doubt that it was Willow.

writerfreak

[sadie]

Ooooh I love it love it And again I have to take back my previous cliffhanger comment, cause this definitely is one! Haha

You're doing such a great job telling the story from both sides, and it's a pleasure to read. Looking very much forward to the next update

[wimpy0729]

YAY, Cam! You're the greatest!

Wimpy

[Reallybigpineapple]

Haven't been here for ages, and what do I get? Scrumptious goodness... Excellent. Thank you!

[JustSkipIt]

Cam - what a very wonderful update. The extra reunion was a real treat. I wish Oz and Cordy (I guess she's dead in Angelverse huh?) and some others had made an appearance but I totally get why they wouldn't. Willow does seem to have really grown a lot. Not just that she gets her mistakes but that she talks about them without self-recrimination: just with self-realization. That's a really cool quality. And I like the way Tara is able to listen and understand but also ask for clarification on what she wants to know.

Of course they both live in Boston. Seems like at some point in 15 years they would have run into each other at the bookstore or coffee shop or something. I mean, aren't there like gay-friendly restaurants in most big cities? On the other hand, I have an ex in town who I have seen once in 15 years so maybe it's easy to not see someone.

Willow is amazingly sweet skipping dinner to meet Tara on the plane (or perhaps always planning to meet her on the plane but then why would she have turned down dinner since Tara didn't say when her plane was until after that?). Can't wait for more. Well done.

[spells42]

Cam
It's been some time since I left feedback (sounds sorta like confession), but I've been keeping up with the story. sorry. Anyway, I thought it was about time I told you how much I enjoy this fic, and the older characters - in some ways more mature, but still capable of spending their lives alone instead of taking a chance and maybe reaping the rewards.

It's lovely to see them now reaching that point, recognising the big BIG mistakes they made, the misunderstandings, the things they've missed out on, and taking that chance now. I so hoped that Willow would get on the plane to Boston too - plenty of time after all to see her folks and catch a domestic flight at 10:30pm. I was really happy at your last line.

Looking forward to happy reconciliation and smooth progress to HEA.
Anne

[teenwillow]

im loving the story, keep it up! cant wait for an update!!!!

[Emms]

Yay! That's so excellent!! And it was very sweet and romantic with the phone kiss. Great update, cam.

xoxo
Emms

[dlline]

Sorry to be late, but RL has just sucked.

This update was great, with the hey, were both in Boston goodiness of the whole thing. The offer to blow off Mom, the thing on the plane.... Great stuff. Great update.

Diane

[WillowRulez]

“You’re still in Boston?”
“Yep. Wait…still? You knew?” she asked, her voice small.

I feared this would make them distance themselve from each other again but yay, you didnt let them
Very happy about the end of the chapter. I hope it's Willow on the plane but it might as well be Leslie.
Great update!

[EasierSaid]

Cam - great update. I was going to go into this big long apology about why my feedback is so pokey, but I think "real life" will suffice for now (and suffice to say, "real life" is keeping me busy indeed). Anyway, I really liked the great progress in this update; amazing considering that it was really only one long afternoon spent at a barbeque. I'm amazed by Willow's composure, and how relaxed she seems in spite of everything that's going on. It was great to see her face, and then really own up to, her past, and nice that Tara got so much out of seeing Willow accept her role in past events. (And boy did Willow sure take on a lot!) Loved the coven tale, and the ease with which Willow told it. I thought Tara recognizing that she trusts Willow, and that she should, given what she's seen, was really interesting, and a nice counter to the earlier angst in the story.

Finding that they both live in Boston was a great discovery, and I liked that Tara admitted that if she had known sooner it probably wouldn't have been for the good. Willow's mom heading up to Seattle (hey, *my* Shelia's going to Seattle too!! jinx!!) could have been a roadblock... for anyone other than our gal Willow! (And, er, you know, you, too, as author, I guess... ). Yay for cross-country red-eye flights! Very much so looking forward to the next step - awesome job as always.

p.s. I can't help but wonder if they'll stay up the whole time talking on the plane, or if one will inevitably zonk out and drool on the other's shoulder. It's thoughts like this that keep me busy between updates...

p.p.s. Willow with the phone, and the "miss you already," and the Breast Gal? OMG - just awesome. Really, really great. *sigh*