The Futopia Channel
Episode: "I'll Never Tell"
“…And the wisdom to know that divulging your world-domination plot to the “good guys” just when you think you’re going to win is just a bad career move…Amen.”
The demons/vampires/ and otherworldly creatures mutually let go of each other’s hands/claws/hooves.
Winna and Hope stood in the doorway of the school gym staring at what looked to be an amicable gathering of some of the most nefarious fiends to walk the night.
“And now to end our meeting on a high note, B'ordoth here is going to finish his very interesting story…” A pleasant looking woman said from her chair…giving the floor to a six-eyed Memnoc Demon. He cleared his throat and looked around the circle at his peers.
“So there I was…just doing my grocery shopping…minding my own business... I was making a bisque…with those cute little flowers made from tiny squash…I saw the recipe on Hot Chef last week…”
“B'ordoth…” The kindly woman prompted him.
“Oh yeah…right…so there I was, fingering the summer squash…when this lady just chucks her toddler at me, drops to her knees, and begs me to devour it and grant her riches beyond that of mortal man…and blah, blah, blah…lament…blah, blah. So I’m holding this baby... and it was so clean... and fresh…and so…tasty-looking. Goodness... I hadn’t eaten a baby in months…”
“What did you do?” A pale yellow demon in a Dodger’s jersey asked from the circle.
“I handed the baby back to her mother … took my squash and left.” B'ordoth said. The group clapped for him and he nodded, proudly. “Oh! And I brought some bisque for after the meeting. You are going to just LOVE it.”
The group murmured happy approval.
Winna tossed a “what the hell is this” look at Hope who shrugged.
“Thank you, B'ordoth. Okay everyone…stay strong….but not too strong…” The kindly woman said. The creatures dispersed. Anyanka stood up from her chair, saw Hope and Winna, and smiled.
“Hope!” She did a double-take of the tall redhead beside Hope. “And Winna Gunn…what brings you two to Evildoers Anonymous?” Winna looked precariously at the Vengence Demon from behind her dark glasses.
“Hello, Anyanka.”
“Oh…it’s just Anya now.” She said, putting her hand out to shake. When Winna didn’t move to oblige, she sighed. “Oh, you’re not still mad about that whole "wager" thing are you?”
“You cheated. You used the dark forces of evil...and you cheated.”
“Hey…Texas Hold’em is a test of endurance. Besides, that was the old Anyanka. The new and improved Anya plays poker fair and square.” She motioned to the table where a strange mix of demons were sampling B'ordoth's soup. "Would you like some soup and punch?"
Winna held up her hand before Hope could answer.
"No 'punch' jokes....please....we're here to get information." Hope, not allowed to flaunt her witty Rogue Slayer puns, seemed to sulk beside her.
"Fine." Hope said. "We need to talk to you about this Highbloods thing." Winna watched as the grounded demon closed her shop for business. She crossed her arms, turned her eyes away towards the far wall, and pursed her lips.
"Anya?" Hope edged.
"I don't know anything about that." She said, quickly repursing her lips after the words were released.
"They're killing humans, Anyanka." Winna said.
"It's Anya...and Vampires have been killing humans since the...well since the forever."
"It doesn't make it right, Anya. It makes it wrong...and wrong is Evil...and Evil is what you're trying not to be...and not giving us the information..." Anya unfolded her arms to stop Hope's tirade.
"I know how to play the "You Equals Evil" game, Hope. Under the same silly logic, buying anything made out of Spandex is Evil...so you'll have to do better than..."
"I was going to say...'and not giving us the information we need will make me angry...and making me angry is one of those things that could be detrimental to your health...' " Hope said, a nefarious glint in her eye. Anya turned her gaze from the wall to the Slayer, making sure she got the brunt of the heavily unveiled threat.
"Oh you mean the Highbloods Highbloods...! I could talk about that for days!" Anya chuckled nervously.
"Start now." Winna said.
"Well I guess the most important thing to know is who you're looking for." Anya said, putting her arms around their shoulders and turning them away from the members of the meeting so they could talk.
"That would be efficient." Hope said. Anya pulled them in closer, almost head to head to head.
"You're looking for something called the Order of the Blood. Very obvious name, but secret society stuff. Rich and powerful vamps. They like things the old ways...you know dropping out of trees and draining their prey...sleeping in coffins..."
"And this has what to do with the Highbloods?"
"Well...they think that Highbloods are just an excuse for vamps to shirk their natural predatory ways to live like humans...you know...go to the store, pick up a human...eat in front of the television... They don't like the idea of humans getting a higher spot of the food chain...or the social ladder."
"Rich and powerful wanting to keep the lower classes down...boy that's never been done before..." Hope surled.
"I need names." Winna said.
"I couldn't tell you any but one. Their lackey do-bidding...William Blood."
Winna stood stock-still, her head still together with Anya's, but her fingers tightening on the back of the ex-demon's arm.
"Whu....what did you say?" Winna's tone made both Hope and Anya want to be somewhere across the room, eating bisque with other demons and harpies.
"William Blood. He's their messenger boy." Anya said, not quite sure she wanted to keep going. Winna broke away and was already moving towards the door.
"I have to get back. I left him with her."
Hope, grateful for her slayer speed, caught up with Winna just as she was getting into the car. She slid into the passenger seat as the tires squealed.
"What's the plan?"
"The plan?" Winna said...almost to herself. "Sweetheart, It's time to play..." She said out loud, concentrating on the road.
Hope was about to mention that though she didn't quite mind warranting the name 'sweetheart', she still preferred the male variety...when she heard a mechanical churring in the dashboard of the car.
Tock-tock-tock-tock....tckha.
The dashboard in front of Hope opened up to produce two very dangerous looking hand guns. They promised oiled pain in two pretty portable cannons.
"I hate to tell you this, Gunn...but I think I am dingo-dog-bite-in-love with your car." Hope said, suddenly realizing that she was, quite literally, no longer bored.
TBC...
_________________ The best things come to those who procrastinate.
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