HAIKU FOR CAR:
Yea, she is Gay Now,
And we are all the better
For this blessed truth.
Thank you...Thank you very much...
Y'know, Sweetie, I love reading your material; I just wish you were more attuned to your characters' inner lives. "How are they feeling, Car?" I kept shouting at my monitor. "You've given us no glimpse into their emotional worlds!" Heh...
Ah, where to start...
(Perhaps, Mary thought, right at the beginning.) I absolutely loved this sentence:
Quote:
She'd wanted to travel light;
And here we have Buffy, in a seemingly casual description. My sense of the Buffster, esp. in the last few updates, is that she lives in the moment, w/ relative clarity of purpose. She's Action Girl. Does her emotional world suffer for it? Not sure...But Willow and Tara? Oh, no--these girls are chock-full of baggage; neither of them travel lightly through this world. So here's Buffy wanting more than anything to bitch-slap them (with consummate love, of course), back to action, back to life. But she also loves them enough to meet them on their terms, halfway. I'm intrigued by the dance she does throughout these updates: gentle one moment; cajoling the next; drill sergeant after that. She may be Action Girl, but she's also very intuitive. I really like what you've done w/ her character, Car.
The humorous moments, of course, delight me. Poor, addled Glory, looking for a key, retaining just enough lucidity to comment on Buffy's cuteness. The "impactful" discussion, as you surely know
("Yes I do, Mary," Car replied, "but stop calling me 'Shirley.'") just had me cracking up. I actually once told my class that if they used the word "impact"
or "dialogue" as a verb, I would haunt them unto their final days and yes, I know they're both listed as verbs but Mother of Modern Usage, they just
sound so goofy. But I digress. "Not even a school counselor" was a hoot, as was the idea of Willow in cornrows. I also loved the mini-mystery you gave us as Buffy searched for the key--what a great chance to show both how Willow's mind words
and how closely Buffy understands her. BTW--I thought it was also a fascinating discussion of Buffy's and Tara's relative closeness: indeed, there are ways that Buffy
does know her better now. Seems important to have that out there.
But Willow's pain...oh, that just ached, Car. You truly painted us an awful picture. I thought the acoustics were esp. compelling in this update; the way that Willow's crying varies in pitch and volume. Of course, as a good Irish girl (at least, historically), I had to like the image of keening--so raw, so visceral, so complete in its despair. And then the tears are silent, and those are excruciating (to shed and to witness) in an entirely different way. It was fascinating to watch Willow's journey just through the course of Buffy's arrival: abject despair and hopelessness; glimpses of levity and life; self-loathing and the acrid taste of regret over a transgression seemingly unforgivable. It was painful to read, and that's very, very good.
Buffy's interactions w/ Tara are also intriguing. Again we see "Tough-Love Buffy" (action figure comes with finger pointed for emphasis), making it very clear to Tara that while she loves her, she's also pissed at her AND Willow is her first concern. I'm not remembering the exact sentence, but there's a point where Buffy says, "This isn't about you." There's something so simple but powerful in that statement. Throughout this, Buffy demands that each of them come back to some shared reality, echoes of her "pity party" comment in the last update. Oh, and another simple but impactful (heh) sentence:
Quote:
I would have stayed.
You're not just telling Tara what you were willing to do about the extended visit, are you? You're making it clear what people who truly love each other would do: they would stay. And that connects to another point that I really admire: you show W/T as fallible, prone to big ol' human flaws. Willow should have been more gracious in Tara's time of need; she wasn't. Tara should have lightened the hell up just a little bit and at least talked to Willow; she didn't. It's so easy to paint their love as epic, unfailingly generous and true. But these are real people, and they both messed up big time here.
The final scene...so sweet; so gentle. Sleep offers us glimpses of the beloved that we might not otherwise see, and here Tara truly needs to see that in Willow. And another thawing: Willow asks her to stay. She puts away her regret and fear enough to ask for what she needs.
And what do I need? I'm glad you asked. I need to see more of this story. Excellent work, Car--just wonderful.
Mary