WTTV: The Kitten Show (A Collaborative Series)

[WillowsGirlXX]

Not long started reading this thread, OMG you guys are fantastic for redoing old classic shows with Willow and Tara.

I downloaded the title song, it was really good, serious kudos to you all for the hard work that goes into this, I love it.

The Gile's Angels was just brilliant. I loved Faith flirting with Buffy. Hope we see another episode of that show.

Rachel

[justin]

That recap was

I liked the conversation between the CBDaddy and the ircdude. I'm embarassed to admit I understood both sides of the conversation.

Also the mapquest style description of the car chase was very good.

so what's Sally's secret? I promise I won't tell anyone

[Artemis]

Okay, everyone's already said it, but I will too: loooove the street sign guide to the chase scene. That was truly inspired.

Also, whenever I have cause to refer to this incarnation of Willow and Tara from now on, they'll be the 'lovecousins' Big laughs also at the radio/l33t conversation - I'm sorry to say I could follow the intarweb portion of it, but the CB stuff was Greek to me. Except 'nodamene', I love that - it looks so preposterous, but saying it out loud works so well.

Also also, the tag-team replies were a great unexpected bonus

Lastly, is that WTF an indication that snark-Car doesn't know Henry Gondorf? Someone sit this woman down in front of a TV and get some Sting into her! Um, that didn't sound dirty in my head...

[justin]

Some (very) late replies to feedback. Sorry about the latenes

The Hero Factor: The Stand is my favourite Stephen King novel, so the fact my story made you think of it is double plus good. Thanks.

DelWhicker:

That had to be a most surreal moment for her.

It probably was. Or maybe she just gloated about it. "So I'm not going to make it? Well who exactly is it that's pushing up the daisies now? I'll give you a hint, it's not me." or maybe that's just me

I'm glad you liked the story

kayaushk: Thanks. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

GayNow: It's good to know I did a good job of setting the scene. Since I chose such an obscure show, that was very important. I'm glad the sense of isolation and interaction between Willow and Tara worked. Thanks for the kind words.


Thanks to everyone who read the story. It warms the cockles of my heart that so many people enjoyed it.

[umgaynow]

SNARK-A-LICIOUS!!!!!!

Can't wait for the next one!

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

Sorry about the delay, not sure if we can keep to the twice a week schedule, but there should be at least one a week. Replies before the Love Boat recap. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read.

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Title: The Sword of She-Ra - Her Eyes were Black! [sup]1[/sup] {Why does this seem like the title to a bad 007 film?}
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Even more additional snark and fun facts (see footnotes): Artemis
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. She-Ra characters belong to Mattel Inc, Filmation Associates and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. Chris for granting us the power of She-Ra. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. The Bens for the music. And cute little Jackson, I want to play magic pancakes with him again.


All is not well in Willow’s world. {She has that “not-so-fresh” feeling?} She dreams of being naked and stalked by an unknown shadowy figure with blue eyes coming to her through the fog. Does her naked state have anything to do with Fog Woman? Or is it a simple case of forgetting to get changed before going to bed? Not a wise move, sleeping in the buff ... um well, wrong choice of word there. What if she needs to run out quickly to deal with a Horde attack? {I have the feeling a nekkid Willow would stop the Horde in its tracks. }

Now most of us wake up and we brush our teeth and take a shower; {At least twice a year…whether I need it or not} if we’re especially groggy we turn the shower setting colder right? Well it’s obvious Willow is more in tune with nature because her cold shower equivalent is to hug one of her walls that’s made from rough wood. {A hug? **Just** a hug? I think she needed a smoke after that “wake up call.”} Interesting aesthetic, to have three walls of normal brick and one of wood. What’s the lesson here? I dunno, something to do with the tree of life? {Or the tree of happies…erm…happiness.} <*Chris: I think she’s just curious about what it’s like for guys to wake up with wood. *runs the hell away* *>

After the tree hugging she goes to take her shower at the lake. {Shower or bath? Oh who cares? Nekkid Willow! Mmmmm. } Here’s the nature theme again. <*Chris: Here’s the casual nudity theme again.*> Her fellow rebel Xander shows up but she isn’t bothered about him looking at her naked form. Give the guy credit; he isn’t ogling either.[sup]2[/sup] Any other girl may be put out that he isn’t. {Perhaps because Xander knows that Willow **doesn’t** “put out” -- hence the not bothering to ogle.} They don’t want you to look; but secretly they want you to because if you’re not looking it means they’re not attractive enough. {And you know that they know that you know that we all know that…oh forget it.} (watty: ) Women. Damn if I can figure them out. [*Wait, wait. Am I missing something? Aren’t you one of us too? -- Sars*]

Xander is all serious guy about their rebellion. Remember, “rebels” are almost always on the good side in these types of epic inter-galactic struggles. {Use the force, watty.} (watty: now is not the right time to tell Kittens about how I got my macbook pro to make lightsaber noises is it?) Governments and empires are the evil big bads. I mean, who wants to be a bureaucrat, shoving paper around and writing stupid emails like “to requisition for post-it notes, you need to complete forms TP-56A and R82B in triplicate and return to department 5G. If you are requisitioning for post-it notes in colors other than the standard yellow, you will need to complete form 67(FN) and obtain approval from department 7J before sending the completed set of forms to department 5C.” Ruling the world is no fun. And leads to evil.[sup]3[/sup] {That’s because Post-its are evil…and everything eventually leads to Post-its.}

Here’s Cecile![sup]4[/sup] {WOOT! Rah Rah, Cecile! **Puts cheerleader uniform away**} I expected her to show up, I know something’s up with the producers. I’m smart that way. [*No comment -- Sars*] This time she’s a sprite. Sprite the mystical creature, not Sprite the soft drink. (Didn’t I use this joke already?) {Yes.} Talking about soft drinks, I recently tasted my first Diet Rite and though it was quite okay, I’m still puzzled as to why I’m drinking a drink whose major selling point is that it has nothing -- no calories, no carbs, no sodium, no caffeine. The first three are fine, but no caffeine? That’s, um, the primary reason for me drinking Diet Coke. {Diet Rite RAWKS!!!} (watty: yes it does but it still has no caffeine)

Back on topic, Cecile brings Willow and Xander to Buffy, who tells them that the evil big bad Horde are on their way to attack their castle, having landed a shitload of warships in the rebel harbor. A harbor that is supposed to be protected magically. Willow starts doing her woody magic thing by communicating with the plants and grass around her. {Oh to be a single blade of that grass. I’m not worthy!} It’s creepy, the vegetation creeps all over her and she becomes a mummy wrapped in grass and dirt. Buffy suppresses a retch at the sight and I think I’ll join her.[sup]5[/sup]

Willow is unmummified and reports that there is another magic force within the Horde army. Thousands of ordinary citizens are at risk but there’s no time to summon help {No biggie…they’re ordinary, after all}, not even if they use the trusted fire signal method. They decide that they have to do it themselves. {You said “do it themselves.” **snort**} Ha! Time and time again throughout history, that’s what the heroes do. They’re outnumbered and surrounded. Yet they plunge headlong into battle and somehow find the way to defeat the bad guys. {Except William Wallace…he got his head lopped off.} (watty: history showoff. Oh wait, you saw Braveheart.) {No...I've played Age of Empires}

And that’s EXACTLY what happens in the ensuing mighty battle. {Of course.} Force Captain Tara, who somehow combines being impossibly hot-looking with an air of chilling menace, leads the Horde. She barks orders like “Defensive Formation!” and still manages to sound hot. <*Chris: Barking orders is hot! *> Hotness, though, isn’t enough to fight off the one-two slam-dunk of Willow and Buffy’s combined magic. Heh, Buffy does magic too. {As long as she isn’t “doing spells” with Willow, everything is okay.} They make this cloaking cloud so that Willow can get closer to the captain. And for a brief moment their eyes met and KABOOOOM! Something Important happens. {Willow realizes she’s not the only one with that “not-so-fresh” feeling?}

Buffy the Spoilerho interrupts and is about to slay Tara when Willow stops her. She slays Tara’s tower tank instead. Willow explains that she needs Tara. Buffy looks at her funny, then helps her friend. {Well, that’s pretty much par for the course, isn’t it? Buffy’s always looking at someone funny. Or is she just funny looking?} They take Tara prisoner.

*****

On learning this, big evil Hordak aka Papa Horde flies into a rage.[sup]6[/sup] {Too bad he didn’t fly into a wall.} Someone has taken his Tara and he needs to get even. Pity the poor minion who brings him that news, he gives the minion a tongue lashing (his tongue lashes out and gives all of them thirty whacks, they moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Well, they don’t exactly ... I have an active and sadistic imagination[sup]7[/sup]) {No comment.} followed by threat of death in a thousand pieces. Well, he gives him to his evil bombshell sidekick Faith, who snacks on the minion. Death in a thousand pieces may be a preferred option. {Of course, I’m having decidedly naughty thoughts at the prospect of “being eaten” by Faith…different context, of course.}

He turns to his minion #1, Shadow Weaver and threatens her too, until she reminds him of the matter at hand, of Tara’s enchantment in danger of being broken. I sit up. {You were lying down?} What enchantment breaking? He can’t kill minion #1 but he throws a hissy fit à la Donald Trump and warns her that he’ll fire her ass if she doesn’t step up and do her job. Somewhere in Chicago, Boyfriend Bill Rancic trembles in his pants.

Meanwhile back at the dungeon--um rebel camp, Buffy’s mom, Joy, arrives. I don’t know what purpose she serves in the story other than to show that she’s some high-ranking royal who rules the kingdom.[sup]8[/sup] And she is Buffy’s mom.[sup]9[/sup] They exposition that they have a prisoner {“Exposition” as a verb again…I’m not sure if it’s as impactful as we might want it to be}, even though it’s Willow’s idea and not Buffy’s. Talk of the devil, Willow arrives and they debate whether they should keep said prisoner. {But Willow is thinking about what she could do to said prisoner.} They formulate their arguments. Oooh, I love Court TV. Lawyer chicks are so hot. (And yes, that was supposed to be sarcasm, or self-deprecating humor, or something. Sigh, I need to sort out my love life.) {Again, no comment.} On one side, there’s Buffy -- who from a military perspective doesn’t like the risks associated with having prisoners-of-war. On the other side, there’s Willow -- who sees magic and can’t resist. Well, with someone who looks like Tara, I don’t blame her. { }

We’re at Willow’s home {**looks around** We are?} and she mentally undresses her prisoner and finds her ... adequate. Okay, more than adequate, judging from the elevator eyes. She can’t decide if she’s intrigued or turned on; she decides both. {Me too.} Tara wakes up, they talk, and Willow does her mojo witch thing on Tara’s injuries, but not before Tara makes some wisecrack about the concoction that Willow put together being a truth potion. {But she’s secretly hoping it’s a lllooovvveee potion.} They talk even more and move onto the subject of how they’re supposed to be mortal enemies. Tara’s attitude changes; we’re given to understand it’s because of Willow’s spell on her injuries. They conclude that Tara is under a spell, which exonerates her from being evil. It’s kinda like the temporary insanity plea in murder trials. “I plead not guilty, Your Honor, for the reason that I was under a spell.” Yeah right. {Sorta like the Twinkie defense , eh?}

Before you know it, they start flirting with each other, like exchanging the typical a/s/l type of info. Soon the talk moves onto the subject of sex, because the convo always comes back to sex. Why are you surprised? Haven’t any of you been in chat? Cue romantic violins![sup]10[/sup] {Why does it have to be violins? Can’t trombones be romantic? Or tubas? There’s a bias against brass instruments, I think.} They look at each other with googly eyes and before you can say “case thrown out” they’re sharing their fantasies and are making out. As a Heavy Dramatic Gesture, Willow releases the kinky cuffs around Tara and lots of hotness follows. {If you had the choice of Tara touching you or not touching you, which would you choose?} (watty: I wouldn’t know. I stay away from thinking about sex and touching and stuff) I’m amused that the producers took out the kink, what’s the fun in doing the deed using normal boring methods? [*I wouldn’t call kissing and groping and rubbing and licking and what on earth are they doing now?!!! “boring,” I know it’s a fade-out scene, I have imagination too – Sars*] Somewhere during the night, Tara hums “I’m Under Your Spell.” {“You make me COM-PLETE!” }

During the night, Willow has a nasty dream. She wakes up, Tara comforts her, and they start again. I suppose they are trained warriors, so I shouldn’t be surprised that they have so much endurance. And no, this is not product placement for Chapter 9 of UberSmut. {Though it should be. RAH RAH UBERSMUT!}

Next morning, they wake up but Tara is singing another tune. {What tune? ”Magic” from Xanadu? ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”? ”The Yellow Rose of Texas”? DETAILS!} (watty: "I'm too Sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.") Her eyes are also black. Now I get it: eyes black = evil; eyes blue = hotness. {Um, she’s kinda hot with the black eyes too.} Willow, on the other hand, hasn’t sussed it out yet and as she tries to reason with Tara, she gets whacked on the head. Ha! Tara runs away sans sword and Willow is left to face the music with Buffy and Xander. {Which music is that? Disco? Swing? Punk Rock?} They tell her she’s a dunce and she’s fallen to the oldest trick in the book. Willow tries to argue that Tara is good, but Buffy doesn’t buy it. Logically, Buffy makes sense -- a prisoner will do anything to try to escape, including seduction. Willow still can’t believe it, cos of some “wuv…twu wuv” thing that she’s convinced is happening between she and Tara. What do I think? I think Willow just wants more mind-blowing sex. {Wouldn’t you?} (watty: see earlier comment about not thinking about sex and stuff.)

Tara is rescued by Faith the bombshell. Papa Horde’s #1 minion, aka Shadow Weaver, examines Tara thoroughly. And I mean thoroughly. The type of thoroughly that has me screaming, “OMG, TMI!!” {Screaming or squealing?} She senses Willow all over (and inside, heh) Tara and there is major panic as she and Papa Horde realize that sex with Willow is magical in the actual as well as metaphorical sense. She muses that they must have been “doing spells” together. Papa Horde is pissed, and I get very creepy vibes off him, that he wants Tara all for himself and not innocently either. {Confession time…I want Tara all for myself too. And I don’t have very many innocent fantasies in that area.} Bile flows up from my stomach area. Shadow Weaver suggests killing off Tara as a long-term safety measure, but Papa Horde asserts his ownership and refuses to let anyone harm his precious Tara. They give her a booster spell (a bit like when you get vaccinated, you need to get booster shots regularly) to make sure her eyes stay black and she forgets about Willow. {Oh, but she can never forget about Willow. Not truly forget.}

Willow and Xander hang out. Well, “hang out” in the middle of a rebellion war doesn’t quite describe it, but ... whatever. {As long as Xander isn’t really “hanging out” I’m okay with this scenario.} (watty: groan.) She tells Xander about her night with Tara and it takes him a minute to fully grasp the concept of “sleeping together.” {That always amazes me about men. After all, when they go to bed with someone, isn’t that pretty much what they do? Sleep? ”Oh, baby, that was amaz….”**snore**} What did he think they were doing last night? I mean, they started the night as gaoler-prisoner and ended with Willow confiding her love for Tara to Xander. Something more than small talk must have gone down. {Obviously, Willow and Tara “went down”…a number of times.} While Xander’s brain kicks into gear about the sitch, Willow secretly replays every single scene from last night in her head and again realizes she’ll never have sex this mind-blowing like, ever again. So she cries and cries and cries. As if by magic (see Fraggle Rock recap re: magical timing) a single tear falls perfectly on the black gemstone on Tara’s sword and before I start wondering why Willow’s crying on a sword it cracks and changes color from black to blue. I.Get.It. Black = evil; blue = good. I try to dodge the anvil that’s hanging precariously over my head. {You’re not trying very hard.}


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A shout from Queen Joy snaps them out of the sword investigation. They learn that the Horde army is attacking, led by none other than a fully restored black-eyed Captain Tara. An epic battle (these battles must always be epic, I’m learning) ensues. Imagine lots of fighting and more fighting. {Only if the fighting is happening in a large vat of chocolate pudding.} Buffy and Faith meet and are locked in battle (an epic battle, of course...we’ve already established that those are the rules) while predictably, Tara and Willow move slowly toward each other. {Cue the ominous violins. See? They don’t always have to be romantic.} Finally they come face to face and instead of fighting her, Willow tries to reason with Tara and allows Tara to get her sword back. WTF. Tara’s all black-eyed and she’s like, dude I wasn’t myself, I have this jewel protecting me, thanks for the sword and I’m gonna kill you now. I can tell she’s not truly evil because she doesn’t do the speechifying speech thing that all villains do before they kill the good guy. {Ah, there’s nothing better than a good evil monologue. It’s a talent. It’s a gift.} Willow’s all sad, cos she’s about to die before she gets a chance to have great sex with Tara one last time. {I’d be sad too.} Her sadness frees up the tears that are embedded in the gemstone on the sword. As if by magic (again) a single drop flows down to Tara’s fingers. Instead of wiping it off on a piece of tissue or worse, on her tunic, Tara brings it up to her mouth and tastes it. Huh? Tara dear, did you skip your health ed lesson? <*Chris: She lives in the Fright Zone, and had an evil corpse-sorceress stick her hand through her stomach, and this you’re worried about?*> Some unknown waterdrop trickles to your hand and you taste it? Have you never heard of infectious diseases? Cooties? {And the paranoia returns! Cue creepy French horns.} Anyway, sunlight shines through the gem and turns Tara’s eyes blue again. I almost expect this to turn into an episode of the Smurfs and Tara goes entirely blue to reinforce the “black = evil; blue = good” lesson.[sup]11[/sup] Snerk. {Sometimes you amaze even yourself.}

As soon as her eyes turn blue she does this shudder thing [*Shudder thing? You’re sex obsessed -- Sars*] {Me too. } and the protective jewel over her chest splits into a thousand pieces and she’s like, what’s happening, who am I, what am I doing here and all that jazz. {Thank you. I’m now singing “C’mon, babe, we’re gonna paint the town. **snap snap** And all that jazz!”) (watty: yw. we aim to please.) The spell broken, they fall into each other’s arms and much steamy hotness ensues. I snigger, because this is supposed to be a cartoon but there’s hot lesbian monkey sex going on. It’s great. {Cartoons are rarely ever really for kids. Only Trix are for kids.}

Meanwhile the battle continues. {Is it still epic?} During a break from Willow-macking, Tara hops up to the top of a fallen boulder, raises her sword and everyone can see her post-coital glow as she transforms into She-ra. She’s now wearing a white tunic with gold emblem across her chest that does nothing to hide her cleavage {Thank goodness. }; the skirt is cut at the top of her thighs. She also has a flowing red cape and serious fuck-me golden high heel boots.[sup]12[/sup] Willow’s face is contorted and she’s breathing heavily, it looks like she’s orgasming spontaneously at the sight. {Wouldn’t you?}

Eyes blue and intense (like Xena on a baaaad day) {For the record…Xena’s eyes are always blue and intense.} (watty: why did I just know you’d pick up on a Xena detail?) Tara storms through the Horde army, who either run away or faint at her attack. She confronts Faith and even bombshell Faith is no match for a Tara intent on getting back to Willow to resume where they left off. {Spend time locked in an epic battle, using her newly found powers, with Faith, the she-panther, or get back to hot, steamy sex with Willow, using her newly found powers? Hmm…not much of a debate there.}

Faith crawls back to Papa Horde’s stronghold and faces the wrath of Papa Horde. Papa Horde is in the middle of almost killing his #1 minion, until said #1 minion plays a vital card – there is another hope. They settle into an uneasy alliance and plot their next evil deed. Sequel anyone? {We can only hope.}

Back at the Whispering Wood, Tara and Willow make with the loving. {Who has the polaroids?} (watty: Polaroids? It’s all about youtube nowadays.)

Lots of lessons this ep. The most important one: love and great sex always triumph over evil badness. [*Sigh. This is all about the power of true love and the fight between good and evil and you turn it into a sex romp. You’re such a perv -- Sars*] {Me too. }


Producer: Taskmaster Chris.
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Footnotes:

1. Fun fact: The title of the show (and the heroine’s name) was originally to be He-Ra, as in the Greek goddess Hera – they added the ‘S’ to get around someone’s copyright.
2. If you ogled in the She-Ra world, you’d never have time to do anything else. Willow’s the only woman on the planet who even wears pants.
3. Except for He-Man, whose father Randor ruled Eternia. Though I did always wonder: they had a space/time transporter capable of returning his wife to Earth, her home, yet somehow she always believed she was ‘stranded’ on Eternia, with no better options but to marry Randor. Damn suspicious, if you ask me.
4. Fun fact: male Twiggets are depicted as comedic caricatures. Female Twiggets are just plain hot. See?
5. At least it works – the old cartoon version of Willow’s character barely ever did a successful spell. But Willow does get to say ‘Oh deary me’ in a shout-out to Madame Razz version 1.
6. Fun fact: Hordak’s bizarre face was based on an African witch-doctor’s mask. That’s right kids, even witch-doctors can look like twerps sometimes.
7. So did the makers of Masters of the Universe, evidently, seeing as there really was a Tung Lashor toy, and its tongue really did whip out and attack people. Yup, they sold these to children, folks.
8. Same purpose as all toy-cartoon supporting characters – create more toys to sell!
9. Even better – if they’re related, they could have much the same figure and costume, so you can just re-use the mould and save money on making the toy.
10. Fun Fact: Masters of the Universe/She-Ra was one of very few cartoons to feature a real orchestra providing the score – might as well use ‘em!
11. Skeletor had blue skin. So did Trapjaw, come to think of it – they’d have fitted in just fine on Smurfs. For a certain value of ‘fine’. Fun Fact: Skeletor was really He-Man’s uncle.
12. Fun Fact: several of the episode directors on She-Ra made it their task to ensure that you never saw up She-Ra’s skirt, even when she did flips and roundhouse kicks. There’s several episodes where they failed, much to the delight of fans. Who need lives. *cough*

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[JustSkipIt]

I = DIBS

Fantastic recap. Your writing just absolutely flows here with the interaction between both of you (ok, all three of you plus the SARS persona I guess). Either way, much with the flowing. I absolutely love the way you manage to recap the eventyness while still returning to the point of the hot sex and hot sexiness. Because really, that was what the show was about right? Fantastic.

[SithLordWiccan]

{She has that “not-so-fresh” feeling?}

Maybe she needs some Spring Sunrise[/Gratuitous Marketing Plug Someone Was Bound To Do Eventually]

{I have the feeling a nekkid Willow would stop the Horde in its tracks. }

Nekkid Willow would stop anything.

<*Chris: Here’s the casual nudity theme again.*>

Is that what this fic was about? Guess I misread this one, too.

Remember, “rebels” are almost always on the good side in these types of epic inter-galactic struggles. {Use the force, watty.} (watty: now is not the right time to tell Kittens about how I got my macbook pro to make lightsaber noises is it?)

Well, maybe if you can teach me that trick... Oh, and SNERK, that was funny.

Here’s Cecile![sup]4[/sup] {WOOT! Rah Rah, Cecile! **Puts cheerleader uniform away**}

She sure gets around, doesn't she?[/Suggestive comment]

Time and time again throughout history, that’s what the heroes do. They’re outnumbered and surrounded. Yet they plunge headlong into battle and somehow find the way to defeat the bad guys.

Ah, the time honored tradition of battle.

Force Captain Tara, who somehow combines being impossibly hot-looking with an air of chilling menace

It's not like she's the first to do that sort of thing, though I wager this isn't the time or place to bring that up.

Heh, Buffy does magic too. {As long as she isn’t “doing spells” with Willow, everything is okay.}

Oh, come on. Don't crush the dreams of the closet Willy shippers. (Or is it Buffow? I dunno.)

They make this cloaking cloud so that Willow can get closer to the captain. And for a brief moment their eyes met and KABOOOOM! Something Important happens.

I just love how "Something Important" is capitalized. I dunno why, though.

{Of course, I’m having decidedly naughty thoughts at the prospect of “being eaten” by Faith…different context, of course.}

TMI!

Talk of the devil, Willow arrives and they debate whether they should keep said prisoner. {But Willow is thinking about what she could do to said prisoner.}

HA!

{If you had the choice of Tara touching you or not touching you, which would you choose?}

Um...I'm not sure you want me answering that...

Somewhere during the night, Tara hums “I’m Under Your Spell.” {“You make me COM-PLETE!” }

*GROAN*

During the night, Willow has a nasty dream. She wakes up, Tara comforts her, and they start again. I suppose they are trained warriors, so I shouldn’t be surprised that they have so much endurance. And no, this is not product placement for Chapter 9 of UberSmut. {Though it should be. RAH RAH UBERSMUT!}

I don't see how, seeing as how that was done after She-Ra. (Then again, retcon is a beautiful thing...)

Willow just wants more mind-blowing sex. {Wouldn’t you?}

Again, I must refrain from answering. [/SNERK]

Papa Horde’s #1 minion, aka Shadow Weaver, examines Tara thoroughly. And I mean thoroughly. The type of thoroughly that has me screaming, “OMG, TMI!!” {Screaming or squealing?}

And now I will have nightmares for another week. Thanks a lot, guys.

{That always amazes me about men. After all, when they go to bed with someone, isn’t that pretty much what they do? Sleep? ”Oh, baby, that was amaz….”**snore**}

Jeez, what's with the slagging of guys, here? What the schmell did I do to deserve this?

{Obviously, Willow and Tara “went down”…a number of times.}

And again with the groaning.

{Cartoons are rarely ever really for kids. Only Trix are for kids.}

Full points for truth, but half marks off for that incredibly bad pun. (Doesn't that rabbit get enough abuse as it is?)

Tara hops up to the top of a fallen boulder, raises her sword and everyone can see her post-coital glow as she transforms into She-ra. She’s now wearing a white tunic with gold emblem across her chest that does nothing to hide her cleavage {Thank goodness. }; the skirt is cut at the top of her thighs. She also has a flowing red cape and serious fuck-me golden high heel boots.[sup]12[/sup]

And for more adventures of dress up Tara, check out Cosplay and Role Reversal, coming to a TV station near you in the future.[/Yet Another Gratuitous Marketing Plug]

the wrath of Papa Horde.

Wasn't that the name of a movie?

Papa Horde is in the middle of almost killing his #1 minion, until said #1 minion plays a vital card – there is another hope. They settle into an uneasy alliance and plot their next evil deed. Sequel anyone? {We can only hope.}

I'll join in the hoping. (Or maybe the writing...)

[*]Same purpose as all toy-cartoon supporting characters – create more toys to sell!

Hey, it worked, didn't it? Half of the 1985 Transformer toys were repaints of the previous year's assortment. And don't forget the Minibots in 1986. [/Geek Moment]

[*]Even better – if they’re related, they could have much the same figure and costume, so you can just re-use the mould and save money on making the toy.

See point above.

[*]Fun Fact: several of the episode directors on She-Ra made it their task to ensure that you never saw up She-Ra’s skirt, even when she did flips and roundhouse kicks. There’s several episodes where they failed, much to the delight of fans. Who need lives.

Heh.

And on a less feedbacky note, I just like to point out once again that this fic was the one I was looking forward too the most when WTTV was first announced. And, of course, it delivered in spades (though I can't say it was my favorite, even though doing so puts me at risk of several different kinds of hell). Of course, it did influence my decision to pick up the He-Man DVD's (Speaking of which, even though I'd rather wait till the end of the year when both Season 2 sets are out, I'm probably likely to pick up S2 Vol 1 when it comes out next week. And July 18th can't get here soon enough...)

Who says reading fanfic doesn't make impactful decisions on your life?

[FineyMcFine]

That was quite a recap, Carwatty! And it cleared up a few mysteries for me, namely:

This makes it clear which side of the fence Chris falls on the D/s spectrum.

LOL about the shoutout to UberSmut Chapter 9, thanks guys! And I also laughed at the "somewhere in the middle of the night Tara hums 'I'm Under Your Spell' - that was funny".

So what did people see when they saw up She-ra's skirt? Inquiring minds want to know. I want to know.

[tarebear]

hey everyone!

i don't know if anyone has noticed but it seems the kitten show is getting very popular these days...

i was walking to go to a local convenience store. when i turned around a corner, this is what i saw:






also, while i was perusing the shelves looking for my favorite cereal brand, i was taken by surprise at what i discovered:






and when my friend and i were walking to go grab a bite after work, a particularly interesting looking truck caught my attention:






finally, my neighbor became such a huge fan that he even put up a sign on his own backyard!






wow! amazing how the kitten show changed everyone's lives!


i'll definitely keep a look out! there might be more out there

[SithLordWiccan]

Cecile: OMFG!

[FineyMcFine]

Ceci - you are soooooooooo creative! Hahahahahahaha!

[justin]

Another wonderful dose of snarkage.

On learning this, big evil Hordak aka Papa Horde

After reading that I couldn't help thinking of Hordak as being like an evil version of Papa smurf, with Donald Trump's toupee

“I plead not guilty, Your Honor, for the reason that I was under a spell.”

Well it always works in Star Trek, though they usually call it alien posession rather than a spell.

It was good to see someone standing up for brass instruments and recognising that violins are a much overused romantic cliche. Personally I think bagpipes are much beter.

About the conjugating latin verbs option, that makes me think of The Life of Brian. Then again most things do so I might be wrong.

ETA: Cecile, those photos were great. I hadn't realised that WTTV had taken off so much. I must remember to keep an eye out for any posters near me.

[inlerf]

tarebear,

unfreakingbelievably lmao! great work!

[ps: just the last two pics are a little too fake. but heart the cereal box one! ]

[Useful_Oxymoron]

Fanfictionwithoutpity - Ah, you spork so wonderfully. Deleterius and godawful.net are some of my favorite haunts, but the main difference between your kind of sporking and their kind of sporking is the subject matter. The stories you are sporking are well-written stories to which your comments are meant to be tongue-in-cheek companion stories that add to the whole.

The sporked stories on the other sites I mentioned, really deserve to be snarked into infinity. Stories about Willow getting into a romantic entanglement with Draco Malfoy? Uh, no... Besides, that'd make Hermione insanely jealous... and we all know what she gets like when she's jealous.

That being said, I really have enjoyed your sporking. Like I said, it can be seen as a complementary extra to the already wonderful story.

Tarebear - Wow, I guess the Kittenshow is getting great ratings, now that it's showing up everywhere. Nice work.

[taralicious]

I absolutely adore how everyone has made with the snarky goodness in recapping the Kitten Show programming.
They're a damn sight better than anything on terrestrial television and is it too much to ask for another season of shows or am I going to have to start one of those petitions to bring back the Kitten Show for another season?

[Artemis]

Watty & Car: Superlative snarkage as always, and thanks for letting me sit in on this one. 'Papa Horde' is now my official name for Hordak, the notion of Xander 'hanging out' is one I hadn't considered up until now and wish that was still the case, and the snark about romantic violins was great. Creepy French horns Oh, and I love "can't decide if she's intrigued or turned on; she decides both."

Tarebear: Hermitfish Media has been busy, huh? Seriously, Cecile: fraggle, nurse, bartender, forest sprite, cruise guest, awesome mini-golfer, Mistress of Wallpapers, and now advertising guru? Is there anything you don't do? Once I figure out where, can I add those to the WTTV section of Looking-glass?

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

Combined Dykes of Hazzard and She-Ra recap replies

Sith

DoH recap

LOL Alex, that's a LOT of quotes! Thank you for taking the time to pick out the notable mentions {And so glad that most of them are mine...watty would be nothing without me}. I particularly liked the ones that made you squirm, groan and scream: "TMI!" in a loud girly voice {Don't take that as a personal affront, Alex. Watty just like girly voices. It's a thing}. I'm a cruel, sadistic freak. Dark Lord of the Snark, that's a cool title, though I think I prefer RogueSnarker {Anything with "rogue" in it, really. She imagines herself wearing leather pants and having "wow, look at these" breasts. It's a thing.} (watty: cool leather pants yes; unwieldy breasts no sodding way.), I'm more of an original SW person than the prequel (perhaps it's because I'm old enough to have watched ep 4 in the theatre when it came out?).

{Did it blend in well with your ‘other’ paraphernalia?}

I hope so. You know how bad those things clash.

Oh hee. I'm gonna make you squirm again because "watty's paraphernalia" doesn't mean umbrellas or lunchboxes. It's been a while, but my pre-occupation with electric toothbrushes used to be legendary {Legendary...and just a bit frightening}. So, um, clashing? Not quite.

She-Ra recap

And the squirming continues, heehee {watty's gone to her happy place}. But of course the fic is about casual nudity! ALL fics are about casual nudity. *calms down* Glad you find the recap impactful.

(watty: now is not the right time to tell Kittens about how I got my macbook pro to make lightsaber noises is it?)

Well, maybe if you can teach me that trick...

First, you need an intel mac, preferably either macbook or macbook pro, cos ... making sudden motions with your iMac is a little more difficult than with the laptops. Then you need to install macsaber, then find another macjedi to fight with. Um, did anyone but me find that remotely interesting? {Um...no comment.}

{So glad you enjoyed, Alex. Hope we can keep it going for 3 more recaps. (Note that I didn't say "keep it up"...cuz that's just...um, nevermind.)}

[hr]

Sally

DoH recap

There are many funny, groan-inducing, guffaw-inducing, and smirk-inducing moments in this recap.

That's because we had funny, groan-inducing, guffaw-inducing, smirt-inducing material to work with [/shameless sucking up of Sallypants] {Sucking up "of" Sallypants? Um, don't you mean sucking up "to" Sallypants? Cuz, ya know, Mrs. McFine might have a problem with the first option}. That mapquest thing was a stroke of genius wasn't it? [/shameless sucking up of provider of vacation accommodation sometime soon] As far as my enema fetish, I don't have one! I've been falsely accused! *runs* {Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that, watty.}

{Milli Vanilli is a must, man! Rock the lip-synch!}

She-Ra recap

Carwatty thanks SallytheYardQueen for the words and it's a pleasure to link to USmut, it's always a pleasure to be associated with USmut.

So what did people see when they saw up She-ra's skirt? Inquiring minds want to know. I want to know.

Well you see, it's a magic kaleidoscope skirt, so you see as much or as little as you want to. Plus, no one will know what you see, that's the brilliant part. {I can tell you what I *didn't* see...cobwebs.}

{Thanks, Sallypants! Always a joy to read your feedback.}

[hr]

Cameron of the Gay

DoH recap

We're being compared with TWoP! WOOT! I want to be Miss Alli's groupie. We haven't done the bantering and the thread hijacking for a while; heck nowadays we get to talk like 30 minutes a day compared with hours and hours before {*sigh* Okay, okay. I'll turn down the promotion. I'll quit the job. All just so watty can have her chat fix every day}, so I'm glad that it worked for you. Like I said to Sally, the mapquest thing is unbelievable and I'm proud to have contributed a little to it.

The little icons had me all giggly. They reminded me of a Roz Chast cartoon of "road signs you never want to see," my favorite of which was "THINGS next 200 feet" (or whatever distance).

I couldn't find that one, I did find this one easily:



{Thanks for the nice words, Cameron of the Gay. I'll do my best to turn the snark up a bit for Giles' Angels. Should be a bloody good time!}

[hr]

Debra

DoH recap

Happy that you're finding the recaps funny. I'm still jealous that you know an actual TWoP staffer personally. I think it takes a certain mindset and view of the world to be a successful recapper. {Or, in our case, just a really fucked up sense of humor.}

the yahoo car chase recap has basically expunged all other comments from my mind.

LOL I should be all indignant because I got overshadowed by Car's work, but even I have to admit it was speechless-inducing {Sometimes I have that effect on women. *chirping crickets* Okay, no I don't}. And hey, I did the photoshopping! The yahoo map directions are freaking stupid. 43 feet west to Congress Ave? wtf? someone actually measured the distance from an unknown starting point? Wow, talk about Web 2.0. {This coming from a woman who has spreadsheets on posting frequency, complete-to-incomplete fic ratios, and word counts.} (watty: and now that I've discovered online spreadsheets ... y'all aren't gonna get a moment's peace.)

She-Ra recap

Glad you spotted the Sars persona, and she is just a persona not a real person. I am talking to myself, which I do a lot {She does. She's the only one who can understand herself...so it's a nice relationship}. Thanks for the flowing praise (hee), I'm overflowing with gratitude (groan). And steering a kid's show into NC-17 land gives me quite a bit of perverse pleasure actually. {Since I tend to go NC-17 more often than watty, does that mean that *I* give watty quite a bit of perverse pleasure too? Cuz, um, hmmm.}

{Thanks, Debra. Glad you liked the hot sex (!!) and hot sexiness (!!!). Um, yeah. Okay. Uh...thanks again.}

[hr]

justin

DoH recap

I liked the conversation between the CBDaddy and the ircdude. I'm embarassed to admit I understood both sides of the conversation.

I would have expected you to, which btw is meant to be a compliment! Now if you the reader is embarassed, how do you think me the writer feels? I wrote both sides of the convo you know. {See above RE: "watty talking to herself" -- which makes it even more frightening that you understood her, justin! *backs away slowly*}

Sally's secret? It's soooooo secretive and I think even she herself doesn't know. Then again the All-knowing Car might? Car? {I know only how to use fonts and colors in interesting, albeit annoying, ways.}

She-Ra recap

I couldn't help thinking of Hordak as being like an evil version of Papa smurf, with Donald Trump's toupee

Oh my eyes! If you remember the practice recap on the outline you may remember the smurf reference, and I really wanted to get that across in the recap proper. Thanks for spotting it.

About the conjugating latin verbs option, that makes me think of The Life of Brian.

hmmm, not a Monty Python fan at all. The quote is from a recent film called Saving Face. {Cute film, hot women. Two thumbs up...but where the thumbs are, I won't say.}

{Thanks, justin. I don't know much about bagpipes, but I'm sure that they are certainly underrepresented. Glad you're continuing to enjoy our happy forray into idiocy...um...or something like that.}

[hr]

Chris

DoH recap

Doesn't matter if everyone's already said it, that mapquest thing was pretty inspired. Inspiring. Impactful even. {That was me at the last minute thinking "oh shit! I promised watty that I would recap the car chase!" My many years of writing 30-page papers the night before they were due has finally paid off.} (watty: some people work best under pressure. Or is that procrastination?)

So I think I kind of made the phrase "lovebirds" popular in fanfic, now they're "lovecousins." Did you know that I like making up nicknames? {I won't tell you the nicknames she's come up with for me. She might lose her cred.} I was hoping you might join justin as being one to understand the trucker vs hacker convo, but I'm glad you at least got half of that. Guess big hunking trucker blokes aren't your cuppa tea then {No, watty...just yours.}

is that WTF an indication that snark-Car doesn't know Henry Gondorf? Someone sit this woman down in front of a TV and get some Sting into her!

I'll leave that to my co-snarker to answer that, because I can't believe it either! {Um, in case you haven't heard, I'm a lesbian. Please no "getting some Sting in me."}

She-Ra recap

First, thanks for joining the snarkage fun, it was great to have more than one twisted mind work on it {Should we be offended, Chris? Nah.}. I'm quite proud to have come up with Papa Horde, like justin said, it actually was a smurf reference. Even though it's snarking at me, I think the snarking at romantic violins is great {Snark on violins is a must}. Creepy French horns ... Car cracks me up all the time. {Now *that* is the effect I have on women...one look and they crack up.}

{Thanks, Chris. It was great having you join us on this one. OMG A three-way! *groan* I'm going to hell.}

[hr]

Sandi

Next one coming up next. {Considering the next recap, "coming" might be appropriate...we'll see.} Thanks for reading. {Ditto from me...thanks.}

[hr]

Useful_Oxymoron

Heehee. You know, we snark in more ways than mere sporking! And yes, our recaps aren't meant to deride the original materials, we make huge fun of them, but you can tell that we like the stories themselves. {Well, that's what we tell everyone. Okay, yeah, we really do like them.} I think Car said last replies round that if we didn't like the stories, we'd snark on them even more! Now, how we can turn the snark up even more I don't know. {Don't tempt me.}

{Thanks, UO. Appreciate the kind words.}

[hr]

Blayne

Thanks again for your support, we've enjoyed the snarkage, it allows us to let the bitca lose without (much) repercussions {I could have a comment here...but I'll refrain. For once}. Having a second season of the Kitten Show? Hmmm, have to consult with the producers and network execs and advertisers and distributors and copyright holders. And all their lawyers. It might take a while. {I'm not sure if Charo would be available. And, we'd really have to butter up Cecile's agent, ya know.}

{Thanks, as always, for your words of encouragement, Blayne.}

[hr]

Boss Cecile

What can I say, ces. You are so gorgeous and brilliant and thoughtful. The images are great and hilarious. Thank you. Thank you for doing that. {I'm doing the Macarena in Cecile's honor right now...and that's quite the feat since I'm trying to type at the same time...and I don't know the Macarena. But, for Cecile, I'll perservere! We love you, Cec!}

[br]

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

[center][/center]

Title: The Love Boat - You don't want me to just stare? {Just don’t drool.}
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Love Boat characters belong to Aaron Spelling Productions inc, ABC and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. Debra for the boatload of love. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. amazon.com for the books. And Car's Aunt Carm, for being charming.


Ahhhh, love is in the air {I thought I smelled something}. Or not. We’ll see, I’m feeling cynical today, I'm in a crowd of people but I feel like I'm on my own, it's one of those days, one of those feelings. Or I'm being a drama queen. {I would just like to say – and I think Cam, Maru, Cyd and Sally would agree – you were one hell of a card shuffler!} I put on my crisp white sea captain's uniform that I initially took out but had to return to the closet when the show schedule changed to Dykes of Hazzard, but it didn't boost my mood. Geez. {Damn! And we didn’t even get pictures!}

We pan along the crowded dock where people are waving good-bye to their loved ones as they head onboard the good ship Pacific Princess. Why do they do that? You're trying to juggle a backpack, a laptop case, a box of breakables and a bag of snacks for the trip, and then they give you your going-away present. Or they wait till you’re almost at the departure gate and the plane/boat/bus is about to leave in 2 minutes, and then they tell you they love you, or they want to break up with you, or they’re pregnant {You’ve had someone tell you, “I’m pregnant” just before getting on a plane/boat/bus? Was it yours?} (watty: ). I mean, I’m already stressed out with the traveling and needing to get a good seat and muttering the “don’t sit next to me” mantra, I don’t want to have to handle additional emotional stress, you know what I mean? {You handle emotional stress? Huh. First time for everything, I guess.}

Anyway, back to the dock, the camera stops on a whiny teenage type with shiny hair and annoying smirk (WTTSHAS) who is greeted by the good ship Pacific Princess’ Captain and his mates with their starched uniforms and their fake tans and their toothy grins. Man, these people are cheesy. {Maybe they like wine. **groan**} (watty: no wonder they look so spaced out.) We learn that WTTSHAS is called Dawn and she’s traveling with her sister Buffy. Newsflash, this is a love boat, are they doing ground-breaking social commentary about incest now? [*Chill, watty, the idea of the love boat is to meet other people and get laid, not necessarily do the person you came aboard with. You didn’t watch those “research” eps Glark sent over, did ya? – Sars*]

WTTAHAS is annoyed because she is waiting for her sister Buffy on the dock, only her sister has already checked in. Don't you get annoyed when people do that? That's so selfish and inconsiderate. This gives Vicki, the Stubing Minor, an opportunity to latch onto Dawn immediately. They bond. {But do they get laid?}

Even though it'd be as boring as watching paint dry, I wish they would show the minors bonding, because I want to forget the next 10 seconds of my life. {Only 10?} I don't even have the wherewithal to go "ewww" or time to pull my fingers over my eyes. An obviously newly-wed couple stumble onboard with their tongues down each other’s throats totally oblivious to anyone else. Or anyone else’s (read: my) eyeballs. I wonder why they even need to be on this cruise, why not stay at home where other people (read: me) don't have to look at them and be scarred for life. {They want to get a tan? Comic relief? Their neighbors bought them the cruise tickets so they wouldn’t have to be exposed to the tonsil hockey?}

I do a little cheer when we move away from them (cameramen have eyeballs too, I'm guessing). The cheer turns into a predatory growl of the prurient [*prurient? -- Sars*] nature when ahoy captain! ten o’clock! eye-candy! A beautiful blonde with sharp eyes and luscious lips and an awesome rack steps onboard and do I hear the cha-cha-ching!! that explodes from all the males, and females, who are within eyesight of this goddess? {Cue romantic violins, sensual trombones and lusty bassoons!} I wonder why she even needs to come on the love boat (heh, come on the boat, my mind is in the gutter) when we see her lean against the railings, watching a passenger who is stepping out of a limousine parked on the dock. I want to be the one she's watching. *pouts*

The passenger takes her sweet time to exit the vehicle. When she does, it's a spoiled brat with snot up her nose and papa's money up her ass. {Now there’s a visual!} Any minute now she's gonna say, "bored now." We learn her name is Willow and she doesn't want to come on this cruise. Geez, WillowBrat, how many people will give their right kidney to go on a cruise. {Um….8?} (watty: isn't the answer always 42?) She lets herself into her cabin, the size of which will come up later (um, may be. I haven't decided yet). {Haven’t you heard? Size doesn’t matter. Right, Alex?} She reaches into her pocket and takes out a ginormous wad of greenbacks. It's pretty thick, enough to make a bulge in her jeans anyway. [*Okay. I'm officially speechless -- Sars*] Alright, alright, I'm being unreasonable, aside from the bratty attitude, she is cute with a capital Q, in a bratty sneery kind of way.

WTTAHAS Dawn flirts with Gopher and shops for sunglasses. She's also on a quest to look for her sister. She’s all of seventeen and she’s acting like Indiana Jones. Or Lolita, she strokes her palm down Gopher's chest. I fear for humankind. Mostly, I fear for my own eyeballs. {You’re having eyeball issues this time…I’m scared.}

We're on the deck {**looks around** We are?}. Hot blonde with the rack, whose name is Tara, gets a beer and struts her stuff on the deck. {And now, I have “Staying Alive” from Saturday Night Fever going through my head. **whimpers** Mommy! Tell me Tara doesn’t look like John Travolta!} She is in boots and she's smokin' hot, baybee. What's more, she knows it. I love me a broad oozing confidence with a capital Q. [*What's up with the "capital Q" business and did you just use "broad"? -- Sars*]

Isaac finds Newly-Wed Couple with hands under each other's clothes and lips sucking at each other furiously like they're a pair of goldfish superglued together. I barf. {I giggle…rather inappropriately.} HotBootsTara flirts with him but it's obvious that her real target is WillowBrat, who is busy fingering her drink with one hand and her Nintendo with the other. {That’s a lot of fingering. And I just went to a happy place. } Her nimble fingers stop moving for a second as HotBootsTara clicks by but she plays it cool. They bond over a video game, as only the current generation can. Somehow they turn it into flirting and the kind of foreplay that is heavier on innuendo than substance. Foreplay-lite, if you may; only it's pretty heavy but doesn't lead to any bedroom-like activity. [*I think you better stop before you recap yourself into a circle, because I don't know what you're talking about -- Sars*]

Dinner time. Foreplay-lite continues in the presence of Dawn, NWC and whoa, it's Cecile! Man, is she the patron saint of fanfic <*As a matter of fact, yes -- JSI*> or a descendent of Henry Houdini or some sort of casting director's favorite? {Are you saying something about Cecile and casting couches? For shame, watty!} She's everywhere! This time she's a nice young passenger, kinda like the anti-Dawn. Female NWC recognizes WillowBrat and declares that she's a prime target for kidnapping. Hello, FNWC, cruise? In the middle of the open sea? Not conducive to kidnapping activities? {Famous last words, watty.}

Cleavage-y slut bomb alert! { } Faith the waitress swaggers up and manages to take meal orders while flirting with everyone at the table. That takes skillz, man. Talking about alerts. UST ALERT DEFCON 4 is building up between HotBootsTara and WillowBrat. They make eyes at each other and continue with the flirting-lite. Don’t they wish they are the ones being all inappropriate like NWC? In my imagination [*not wet dream? -- Sars*] they’re playing footsie under the table. Actually no, because after dinner Willow totally plays Tara and blows her off. {As long as she isn’t blowing Tara, all is good.}

Tara's anger quickly turns to amusement. We find out that she's a cop and she's getting paid to keep an eye on WillowBrat. Oh my, a cop with a rack, we never had one of those on Ironside. {You’re dating yourself, watty. And…that sentence has far too many connotations.} (watty: remember my 647 personalities? lol) She gives her employer, Brat Senior, a detailed report including confirmation that she has cameras in Brat Junior's room. {So she gets to see WillowBrat nekkid! What a way to get paid. **dreamy sigh**} Brat Senior asks her whether Brat Junior is drunk; she in turn asks him whether he is paying her to keep an eye on his daughter or does she need to babysit the brat. She doesn't mince words does she? {With a rack like hers, she doesn’t have to.}

*****

Dawn breaks. No, no, no, not capital Dawn, lowercase dawn. {Dork.} The boat has docked at one of those nameless ports that solely caters for cruise passengers. It doesn't matter where in the world it is -- Mediterranean, Caribbean, Europe, Asia, Americas -- there are the same tacky souvenir shops; the same stallholders with the gold teeth selling 'Made in China' trinkets that go straight to the basement at home; the same restaurants dressing up roast chicken and fries as "menu tourisme" {What about "chicken and beer”?}; the same bars serving over-priced cocktails; and of course the same shops / doorways with neon lighting leading to the world of sordid, no-strings (read: unfettered and dangerous) sex. {Is anyone else wondering why watty knows that these “no-strings sex” places are all over the world?}

HotBootsTara follows WillowBrat on her zig-zag journey through these seedy establishments. Her appreciative smirk suggests to me that she is enjoying the view of WillowBrat's back a tad too much, her eyes aren't always at eye-level, I think they stray to the brat's ass far too often. I don't blame her, my eyes are doing the same too. {I’m wishing the camera were behind HBT, that way I can see BOTH of their asses!}

A few hours of stalking and it's time to return to the boat and dinner again. I guess there's sod all to do on a cruise apart from eat, no wonder why there are so many fat people. {Hey now! Don’t stereotype! We fat people don’t have to be on a cruise ship to eat.} Heh, I'm the anti-PC today. HotBootsTara has changed to jeans, sandals and a bikini top. { } WillowBrat's expression is clear to me -- I can almost feel her fingers itching to slowly ease that bikini top off. Flirting-lite resumes. WillowBrat actually talks about something unbratty -- underneath that carefully maintained spoiled kid exterior is a geek! She's an aerospace engineer and is Tara blushing at the repeated mention of "thrust ratios"? {Wouldn’t you? I’m sure Alex is.} Oh my, the unflappable detective is flapped this time.

After dinner they retire to the lounge and smoke cigars. { } Er, wrong pairing. They make their way to the cocktail lounge where Charo is performing. I think I'm supposed to make some smartass remark about Charo, or at least incorporate "Cuchi-cuchi!" somewhere in this recap, but you know what? I got no clue where to start, I'm overwhelmed by the big hair, the dangling cleavage and the wiggling. {I’m surprised you didn’t make a comment about her fingering her guitar.} (watty: thought I'd leave it for you.)

At their table, Willow goes through the a/s/l routine with Tara. Well, actually she does more staring down Tara's cleavage and ass than actual questioning. {She’s “staring down” Tara’s ass? Without being noticed? Willow is awfully flexible.} She gets Tara to admit she's no secretary [*As if the abs and the hidden thigh muscles aren't enough clue and boy I'm channeling you today -- Sars*] but a law student who does double duty as a cop. The talk turns to shootings and sexy scars. Tara coyly offers to show Willow her scars and then proceeds to blow Willow off the same way the brat blew her off last night. {What’s with all the blowing?} Excellent service return, AceTara! {Mmmm…Tara all sweaty and wearing a short skirt. I’m in my happy place.}

Oh, NWC are at the lounge too. They make polite small talk (if you consider FNWC describing Willow as either kidnap fodder or worthless spoiled brat as "polite" conversation) before rapidly getting onto the dance floor to have sex. Dawn, who is still on a quest for her missing sister and apparently pursuing her pastime of lifting wallets from Charo-fans, is accosted by Faith who tells a funny Kojak joke the teenager doesn't get. Faith warns Dawn not to muscle in on her territory -- if she's to continue her klepto ways she has to be one of Faith's girls. And so an amateur thief becomes trained in the ways of the professional. There's no turning back. {I’m still in my happy place…so nothing for this paragraph. Sorry. Mmmm…sweaty Tara.}

*****

HotBootsTara decides to turn up the flirting a notch or two. {Turn up…turn on…as long as she’s got that rack, I’m happy.} She takes a bunch of board games to WillowBrat's room and seduces her. Heh, don't knock these board games, they have the potential for muchly sexual innuendo. Twister, for instance, the classic "oops, I didn't mean to put my hands on your ass but I have to balance myself" action. Or what about Monopoly, with the possibility of trades-in-kind. Even Trivial Pursuit can be modified to give points to (un)-answers. {And, again, does anyone wonder why watty knows so much about this?} (watty: I have good imagination.)

There's more heavy flirting and innuendo-speak, then Willow steps aside to let Tara into the room. {Willow ain’t stupid…I’d let Tara in too.}

Fade to black. Sigh. It's not fair.

When we fade back in, we know that the board game seduction is successful. {I have a funny feeling Tara didn’t need the board games for a successful seduction.} Tara wakes up in Willow's bed but the brat is nowhere to be seen. She wraps herself up in the sheet and looks for her seductee. Okay, time-out for another rant. {Oh, look at that! Time for me to…um…go get something to drink!} Why is it that: a) sheets on TV / the movies are always l-shaped, ie it covers all of the woman but only half the man thus allowing him to show off his pecs; b) people who've just had sex always wrap themselves up tightly with the sheets so no part of their bodies is touching or seen by their bedmate, I mean ... they'd just been naked and heavy with each other and they get shy? c) when they (in particular the women) wake up, they always wrap themselves up in the sheets like a vertical egg roll while walking around the bedroom or bathroom .. see above re: shy about nakedness. {I still say therapy is in order.}

So anyway, Tara is prancing around Willow's room in nothing but a sheet. {**tries to imagine Tara actually prancing** Sauntering, yes. Sashaying, sure. Prancing? Not so much.} She quickly discovers she's alone. She gets dressed and checks that she still has her gun. In her jacket pocket she also finds a note from Willow congratulating her on a job well done. Hmmm, which job? Giving protection or giving pleasure? {Pleasure trumps protection. Unless the protection is ribbed for your pleasure.} (watty: groan) Anyway it's clear that Willow knows that she is working for Brat Senior. What's not clear is when or how did Tara give herself away? Me? I think Willow made her as soon as she got on the boat. {Willow may have made her as soon as she got on the boat, but it sure did take her a long time to do Tara.} I mean, Tara is pretty eye-catching and Willow is pretty smart for someone who pretends otherwise.


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*****

It's another nameless touristy port. Yes, the same tacky shops and seedy bars and sex-for-sale places. {Which watty still seems to recognize far too easily.} Tara spots Willow, to her relief (I guess she doesn't want to be fired yet) and follows her. {Either she doesn’t want to be fired…or she just likes walking behind Willow to see that cute ass…with a capital Q…um…} Willow gives nothing away about whether she is aware of Tara's presence and walks straight into two thugs. I cringe {And I grimace}, they're so obviously seedy and up to no good. They jump on Willow and hey! Tara to the rescue! There's some fighting, some kicking and Tara takes one on the cheek. They get away. Phew! {On sale at a book store near you… “Watty does Cliff’s Notes.” Way to pare down that fight scene, watty.}

Tara drags Willow to her cabin and they don't make out. I'm disappointed. {And I’m frustrated.} Tara the heroine is all worrisome about Willow, and it's kinda sweet because she doesn't treat her like a meal ticket, though the way she ran her hands all over the redhead makes me think I want to see her doing the same the night before. {Perv! Oh, wait…I want to see that too.} I can tell she is the heroine because she does that with blood streaming down her injured cheek, which she doesn't let Willow attend to until she's done her inspection and reported back to Willow's dad. I suppose if Brat Senior is paying her she has to set her priorities straight. {No…she has to set her priorities GAY.} (watty: ) Willow gulps as it becomes her turn to speak to her old man. She says "yes sir" a lot, which suggests to me that she isn't the bratty brat she's been trying to be. The best thing that comes out of the Brat Senior convo is that he orders Tara to stay with Willow for the rest of the cruise, sleeping in a chair if necessary. Snerk, I'm thinking ... fat chance of that happening. Tara won't be sleeping in no chair. {Tara won’t be sleeping.}

So Willow gets to play nursemaid and they talk a little about her leaving Tara naked (and horny?) in bed all by her lonesome. {Why the question mark? Of course she was horny!} They try to be pissed off at each other but eventually break out into sweet giggles. Finally, a smooch! About time! They make a date to watch the tapes from the previous night before deleting them. {Oh! I want to watch too! I’ll even bring the popcorn and milkduds!} Wow, they're more open-minded than Colin Farrell. Imagine if they "leaked" that tape to the internet. The download ratio at www.bittorrent.com will be sky-high and it'll be hard to keep the leechers away.

*****

Time to disembark. {What’s up with that word? “Disembark” Why can’t they just say “Time to get off the boat” or “Go home, people!” rather than use silly words like “disembark”?} (watty: welcome to the rant farm.)

Buffy is still missing, but Dawn could care less. She has surrogate sister-idol Faith now. {“Sister-idol” … sounds like the name of a metal band…or a reality TV show.}

Newly-Wed Couple, whose names I finally figure out are Xander and Anya, are still treading the fine line between heavy petting and public displays of sex. {They’re hoping Larry Flint or Bob Guccione is on the boat and waiting to give them a contract.}

Willow and Tara get into the Rosenberg limousine together. {Too bad Papa Rosenberg is there…Willow and Tara could have some fun in the back of the limo!} I want to believe in a happy ending for them. As far as client-bodyguard dynamics go I like theirs far, far better than Whitney and Kevin but I'm going to snag that tagline: Never let her out of your sight. Never let your guard down. Never fall in love. Bah humbug! Of course you should fall in love. Isn't this the Love Boat? {Watty’s being sappy…must be a sure sign of the apocalypse.}


Producer: Elvis the Skipper.
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[justin]

Dibs

ETA:

Another brilliant slice of snarky goodness

and an awesome rack steps

Huh? I don't remember Sally being in the episode.

Foreplay-lite,

That made me giggle. Foreplay-lite to go along with Willow's DS-lite

What about "chicken and beer”?

Mmmm. Nutritious & Delicious

Heh, I'm the anti-PC today.

I thought you were always anti-PC. You are, after all, the woman who claims to have a mac-chip in her head.

[CaptMurdock]

Why is it that: a) sheets on TV / the movies are always l-shaped, ie it covers all of the woman but only half the man thus allowing him to show off his pecs; b) people who've just had sex always wrap themselves up tightly with the sheets so no part of their bodies is touching or seen by their bedmate, I mean ... they'd just been naked and heavy with each other and they get shy? c) when they (in particular the women) wake up, they always wrap themselves up in the sheets like a vertical egg roll while walking around the bedroom or bathroom .. see above re: shy about nakedness. {I still say therapy is in order.}

During the Dark Ages (read: The Golden Age of Television), the decision was made to offend as few people as possible, because television (then as now) depends upon Betty Lou Plotnik of East Cupcake, Nebraska buying the tampons and Tang from the advertisements that companies selling tampons and Tang pay the programmers oodles of money to slide in between the shows. ( And wasn't that a long sentence. I've probably lost you now).

Anyway, it was decided that the Human Body was one of the most offensive, disgusting, don't-let-the-children-see-this things in the known universe. (Regardless of the fact that TV People, who are not born of man and woman but are genetically grown in soundstages in Burbank, California, are far better looking naked than the average run of humankind. God knows, my hairy naked butt could blow out picture tubes). So, therefore it was written, women shall always do the Bedsheet Eggroll on themselves The Morning After The Hot and The Heavy.

The preceding educational segment was made possible by a grant from the Foundation of the Total Couch Potato.

P.S. Loved the recap!

[FineyMcFine]

When she does, it's a spoiled brat with snot up her nose and papa's money up her ass.

This is one of the greatest metaphors I've ever read. And watty, I'm totally with you on the L-shaped sheet and the egg roll thing. So is Mrs. McFine, she always mentions that on TV or in movies when we're watching. What I wonder is, do people who watch a lot of TV or movies emulate this behavior and walk around in sheets all the time after doing the nasty?

Is there a word "embark" that means "to get on a ship"?

I want to believe in a happy ending for them.

You know that "a happy ending" in naughty massage means something totally different, eh? Or were you implying a double entendre? Anyway, loved the recap.

[SithLordWiccan]

First the feedback to the feedback...

LOL Alex, that's a LOT of quotes!

Yeah, I know. But I thought it would do your already overly worked egos to know just how much I enjoyed the recaps.

Thank you for taking the time to pick out the notable mentions {And so glad that most of them are mine...watty would be nothing without me}.

No problem.

I particularly liked the ones that made you squirm, groan and scream: "TMI!" in a loud girly voice

You would.

I'm a cruel, sadistic freak.

HA! Now I got quotable proof!

Oh hee. I'm gonna make you squirm again because "watty's paraphernalia" doesn't mean umbrellas or lunchboxes. It's been a while, but my pre-occupation with electric toothbrushes used to be legendary {Legendary...and just a bit frightening}. So, um, clashing? Not quite.

You know, I read that on the bus, and I got to thinking "Electric toothbrushes? What's the big deal about electric..." And then I realized just what it was that you were talking about, and I got a little sick and went about a couple hundred times.

But of course the fic is about casual nudity! ALL fics are about casual nudity.

Not mine. Well...some of them. Well...one of them. Maybe.

First, you need an intel mac, preferably either macbook or macbook pro, cos ... making sudden motions with your iMac is a little more difficult than with the laptops. Then you need to install macsaber, then find another macjedi to fight with. Um, did anyone but me find that remotely interesting?

I did. Kinda.

{So glad you enjoyed, Alex. Hope we can keep it going for 3 more recaps. (Note that I didn't say "keep it up"...cuz that's just...um, nevermind.)}

Heh heh heh, Car. Trust me. I'm laughing on the inside. But wait until later.

...and now, on to the actual feedback.

I’m feeling cynical today

And how is that different than any other day?

I put on my crisp white sea captain's uniform that I initially took out but had to return to the closet when the show schedule changed to Dykes of Hazzard, but it didn't boost my mood. Geez. {Damn! And we didn’t even get pictures!}

Maybe you didn't, but if you ask real nicely, I can send you nice glossy photos I found online. (Isn't it funny how much stuff you can find on the internet?)

{You handle emotional stress? Huh. First time for everything, I guess.}

WTTAHAS is annoyed because she is waiting for her sister Buffy on the dock, only her sister has already checked in. Don't you get annoyed when people do that? That's so selfish and inconsiderate. This gives Vicki, the Stubing Minor, an opportunity to latch onto Dawn immediately. They bond. {But do they get laid?}

Maybe. We know of at least one "blue" scene that got on the DVD's. Maybe it's an easter egg or something.

I wonder why they even need to be on this cruise, why not stay at home where other people (read: me) don't have to look at them and be scarred for life. {They want to get a tan? Comic relief? Their neighbors bought them the cruise tickets so they wouldn’t have to be exposed to the tonsil hockey?}

I'm calling the "comic relief" option. I got fifty bucks riding on it. Don't prove me wrong.

I do a little cheer when we move away from them (cameramen have eyeballs too, I'm guessing). The cheer turns into a predatory growl of the prurient [*prurient? -- Sars*] nature when ahoy captain! ten o’clock! eye-candy! A beautiful blonde with sharp eyes and luscious lips and an awesome rack steps onboard and do I hear the cha-cha-ching!! that explodes from all the males, and females, who are within eyesight of this goddess?

I don't know what you're hearing from me, guys.

Geez, WillowBrat, how many people will give their right kidney to go on a cruise. {Um….8?} (watty: isn't the answer always 42?)

You're both wrong. It's 37. Jeez, somebody rent these guys a Kevin Smith flick.

WTTAHAS Dawn flirts with Gopher and shops for sunglasses. She's also on a quest to look for her sister. She’s all of seventeen and she’s acting like Indiana Jones. Or Lolita, she strokes her palm down Gopher's chest. I fear for humankind. Mostly, I fear for my own eyeballs.

Oh, come on. Don't you just love young luv?

Hot blonde with the rack, whose name is Tara, gets a beer and struts her stuff on the deck. She is in boots and she's smokin' hot, baybee. What's more, she knows it

Yum. Overly sexy Tara

HotBootsTara flirts with him but it's obvious that her real target is WillowBrat, who is busy fingering her drink with one hand and her Nintendo with the other. {That’s a lot of fingering. And I just went to a happy place. }

So did I.

[*I think you better stop before you recap yourself into a circle, because I don't know what you're talking about -- Sars*]

Funny, I bet everybody else does.

{Are you saying something about Cecile and casting couches?}

Oh, I dunno. I've heard some stories.

Female NWC recognizes WillowBrat and declares that she's a prime target for kidnapping. Hello, FNWC, cruise? In the middle of the open sea? Not conducive to kidnapping activities?

Somehow I can't imagine FNWC as being the type to think things through.

Cleavage-y slut bomb alert! { }

We're at red alert, sir!

Don’t they wish they are the ones being all inappropriate like NWC? In my imagination [*not wet dream? -- Sars*] they’re playing footsie under the table. Actually no, because after dinner Willow totally plays Tara and blows her off. {As long as she isn’t blowing Tara, all is good.}

I don't know what to do here. Do I blame WillowBrat for not hooking up with HotBootsTara, or do I blame Car for that incredibly horrible pun? (Can I do both? Pretty please?)

She gives her employer, Brat Senior, a detailed report including confirmation that she has cameras in Brat Junior's room. {So she gets to see WillowBrat nekkid! What a way to get paid. **dreamy sigh**}

Let's just hope those tapes don't get out. We all know what could happen. (*cough*ParisHilton*). Then again, it may be the only way Willow gets famous aside from being "Spoiled Rotten Brat".

Dawn breaks. No, no, no, not capital Dawn, lowercase dawn. {Dork.}

I second Car's "Dork" and add my own "Lame".

{Is anyone else wondering why watty knows that these “no-strings sex” places are all over the world?}

Kinda, yeah.

{I’m wishing the camera were behind HBT, that way I can see BOTH of their asses!}

You and me both, Car.

HotBootsTara has changed to jeans, sandals and a bikini top. { }

Again, I second Car's emoticon.

{She’s “staring down” Tara’s ass? Without being noticed? Willow is awfully flexible.}

Oh, the stories I could tell you, and the "not-so-obvious" jokes I could make...

{What’s with all the blowing?}

Hey, don't know blowing, Car. Blowing's always great. Of course, blowing something up is always better.

{Mmmm…Tara all sweaty and wearing a short skirt. I’m in my happy place.}

Mind if I join ya?

She takes a bunch of board games to WillowBrat's room and seduces her. Heh, don't knock these board games, they have the potential for muchly sexual innuendo. Twister, for instance, the classic "oops, I didn't mean to put my hands on your ass but I have to balance myself" action. Or what about Monopoly, with the possibility of trades-in-kind. Even Trivial Pursuit can be modified to give points to (un)-answers. {And, again, does anyone wonder why watty knows so much about this?}

Yeah, I am. Though I really can't complain, as it's given me some fanfic ideas...

Fade to black. Sigh. It's not fair.

Hmm. I hear the DVD's got some "bonus features".

She gets dressed and checks that she still has her gun. In her jacket pocket she also finds a note from Willow congratulating her on a job well done. Hmmm, which job? Giving protection or giving pleasure?

I've got my money on "both".

{Pleasure trumps protection. Unless the protection is ribbed for your pleasure.} (watty: groan)

I think I agree with Watty on this. And I also think I just caused the apocalyspe.

Tara drags Willow to her cabin and they don't make out. I'm disappointed. {And I’m frustrated.}

Hey, Car. Maybe you should use what's left of your batteries to...ahem, "relieve the tension."

{No…she has to set her priorities GAY.} (watty: )

They make a date to watch the tapes from the previous night before deleting them. {Oh! I want to watch too! I’ll even bring the popcorn and milkduds!} Wow, they're more open-minded than Colin Farrell. Imagine if they "leaked" that tape to the internet. The download ratio at www.bittorrent.com will be sky-high and it'll be hard to keep the leechers away.

I hear that hard drives all around the world are crashing. I hear it's because of some terrorist related bullshit. Of course, I know better.

{“Sister-idol” … sounds like the name of a metal band…or a reality TV show.}

Well, wouldn't you know it? I checked the Fox TV schedule for the fall after reading this, and found "Sister Idol: Finding America's #1 Sibling" taking over the timeslot left vacant by the departing "That 70's Show". Funny how fast these thing happen, isn't it?

Overall, a nice dose of snarkitude and laughs. And it's a good thing I decided to start paying more attention to these, because if I hadn't, I never would have noticed these two bits of info:

She lets herself into her cabin, the size of which will come up later (um, may be. I haven't decided yet). {Haven’t you heard? Size doesn’t matter. Right, Alex?}

WillowBrat actually talks about something unbratty -- underneath that carefully maintained spoiled kid exterior is a geek! She's an aerospace engineer and is Tara blushing at the repeated mention of "thrust ratios"? {Wouldn’t you? I’m sure Alex is.}

Which really has to make wonder a few things: What did I do to deseve this? (I have a pretty good idea...) Should I look forward to further snarky zings thrown my way in the remaining two recaps? Do Car and Watty have the sickest sense of humor on this planet? Do they hate (or love? I hope it's love) me that much to do this? So many questions.

[Artemis]

Dear Mistresses of Snark:

Same stuff as previous feedback: love the tag-team snarking, love the banter, and I really love that you went the extra mile to do duet replies to feedback. You guys rock.

New stuff: I adored the constant references to Tara's sexiness, crude though they sometimes were. Where's the fun in snarking if you can't be crude? 'Sensual trombones' True to the mysterious L-shaped sheets (though they seem to deactivate if and only if a woman sleeps on her front - it's not full nudity, but a sexy nekkid back is nothing to sneer at). Oh please let that tape turn up on the internet... okay that's crude, but even I have my moments As for 'disembark', the automated announcements at train stations here ask (futilely, of course, because commuters are goddam sheep) for people to stand back while passengers 'alight' from the train. The poll? Well, I maintain that secretaries can drink, flirt, wear hot boots, and have hot racks, so I voted for the novelty underwear. I could have voted for the silly pick-up line, but the thought of Tara in novelty underwear wins, for all sorts of reasons.

[JustSkipIt]

Great job. I love the whole

Why do they do that? You're trying to juggle a backpack, a laptop case, a box of breakables and a bag of snacks for the trip, and then they give you your going-away present. Or they wait till you’re almost at the departure gate and the plane/boat/bus is about to leave in 2 minutes, and then they tell you they love you, or they want to break up with you, or they’re pregnant

I mean good questions and very snarky (which is the point, isn’t it?)

Your descriptions of Tara are fantastic. So over the top about her beauty and sexiness and more on that with Willow too. Love that.

Cleavage-y slut bomb alert!

Lol. Love to get those quotes from the show into the recaps.

Fade to black. Sigh. It's not fair.

Gee, if we just knew what happened during that fade…

Time to disembark. {What’s up with that word? “Disembark” Why can’t they just say “Time to get off the boat” or “Go home, people!” rather than use silly words like “disembark”?} (watty: welcome to the rant farm.)

Some comedian used to have a whole schtick about saying “deplane” you know we never say “deboat” or “decar”…

Awesome snark!

[taralicious]

I think why people wait until the last minute to give you your going away present or to tell you that the results came back from the lab and you need to start using this ointment right away and it may cause drainage is the same reason they would call hotel room service at 10:58 for a bearded clam dinner when room service stops at 11:00 is this:
"These are simple farmers we're dealing with here, people of the land, the common clay of the new west, you know, MORONS!"
Only here in the unfettered environ of WTTV could one entertain the notion of Buffy/Dawn incest scenes; Dawn has a better chance of buttering her own biscuit with honey than she does with the mythical Buffy, who is clearly a metaphor here for teenage abandonment and alienation.
Strangely enough, everyone wants to wake up at the crack of Dawn as she offers Gopher a piece of her Hard Candy and then seeks out Faith in a surrogate sisters are doin' it to each other kind of way.
I was definitely playing the skin flute amidst those sensual tromboners and lusty bassoons when Tara took to the gangway and everyone did indeed yell"gangway" to get a double eyeful of this female pulchritude in all her Glory.
I was a Douglas Adams fan before becoming a Kevin Smith fan so the number to anything is and always is, in a definitive only Han Solo fired a shot in his scene with Greedo kind of way, 42.
I love me a broad oozing clam juice which I take as a regularity tonic.
Tara's boots are made for anything she damn well pleases and i hope it involves me licking the soles of them clean.
Cleavagey Slut-Bomb Alert!- All hands on deck to maneuver the flesh cannons to deliver a shot off her starboard bow.
Faith, take a bow while you're there as you give service promisey goodness a level of committment all your own.
Like the trailer for that new Adam Sandler movie, "Click" I say let's slow down the scene with HBT following WillowBrat for a look in slow motion.
Tara and Willow's asses turning both cheeks in forgiveness is a scene to be savored.
HotBoots tara in sandals, jeans, and a bikini top. I don't have anything clever to say, i just am overboard at the imagery which causes the elderly to become lethal at the shuffleboard deck with misplaced shots.
Willow staring down Tara's cleavage at dinner-I want Tara to lean over the strawberry preserves and double dip her nips in the berry goodness so Willow is olfactorily taunted by what Tara is teasing her and blowing her off with.
Even more overt actions could result from other games Tara takes to Willow's room:
Outburst-I want to shove you up against that porthole and wrap your legs arond my waist and fuck you with this silicone captain's log I have strapped on under my skirt.
Pictionary-the same as above only in graphic illustrated form.
Candyland-what, you can't guess this one?

then Willow steps aside to let Tara into the room. {Willow ain’t stupid…I’d let Tara in too.}

I'd let Tara in anywhere she wanted. front door back door, barn door, french doors, french letters, anywhere.

{**tries to imagine Tara actually prancing** Sauntering, yes. Sashaying, sure. Prancing? Not so much.}

I can see Tara as a fawn-like creature prancing around the meadow playing my pan-pipes and drawing out screams and ejaculations from me.
It's my fantasy so it happens that way or not at all.

I suppose if Brat Senior is paying her she has to set her priorities straight. {No…she has to set her priorities GAY.}

Nathan Lane said it best in "The Producers". "There was a time when I was young and gay, but straight."
When we Kittens and Smutbunnies gather together to watch the Willow/Tara surveillance tapes, I'll bring the Bit 'O' Honey and then watch Willow and Tara's Mounds as they fight over what would they do for my Klondike Bar.
Better to Disembark than to be disemboweled.
Willow needs to tell Daddy Rosenberg "Papa don't preach, I'm fucking Tara with this champagne bottle in the back of the limo and i'm keeping my baby I make with her."

[tarebear]

it seems that The Kitten Show has taken the world by storm....

have you seen the latest TV Guide? You might want to grab a copy... it's selling like pancakes.







here is a clipping of aly my friend gave me from a magazine she bought recently.






and it seems people can't get enough of the show... here is a picture of some people rallying for the show to be picked up for a new season.








The Kitten Show has really become a certified hit!

[justin]

Wow, I'm amazed at how popular the show has gotten. I mean people are picketing for a second series?

There's an interview with WattyBoss in the TV Guide? I had no idea. It's just a shame I can't get that here.

great pictures Ces

[fanfictionwithoutpity]

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Title: Futurtara
Recapper: watty
Additional snark: GayNow {in bold pink}
Rating: R
Disclaimers: BtVS characters and concepts belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. Futurama characters belong to Gracie Films, Curiosity Company, Fox and others. Fantasy Island characters belong to Spelling-Goldberg Productions, Columbia Pictures Television, ABC and others. Godzilla belongs to Toho Film Company and others. Married...with Children characters belong to Columbia Pictures Television, ELP Communications, Embassy Television, Fox and others. Thundercats characters belong to Pacific Animation Corporation, Rankin/Bass Productions, Telepictures Corporation and others.
Summary: Don’t know what a recap is? Read up on televisionwithoutpity.
Notes: Thanks to RKTers for another successful collaboration. Chris and Sally for the anthological interests. Hermitfish Media Inc for the commercials. Speedballs for allowing the air to circulate. And the statue in front of Car's house for the spiritual guidance.



First of all, did I put in enough disclaimers or what? I diligently googled (actually I wikipedia'ed and amazon'ed) for the production and distribution companies of each show. Some of the names of production companies crack me up. Randomly clicking on the imdb page on production companies give me: Scribble Bibble Productions, Hormone Showbiz, P45 Films (you have to be British to appreciate why the P45 is not a good thing). Oh, there is also Kitten in the Oven Productions, Kittenpants Productions and Kittyboy Creations Inc. Hee.

Futurtara

We’re in Year 3000, give and take a few years. What's one year compared with three thousand? Insignificant. Really? Incidentally, Our head of financial control once wrote in an email: $140k less $42k = $100k. I was almost tempted to write back to tell him it's $98k. I mean, if we were talking $140m less $42m = $100m, we're $2 million off, which is spare change I will gladly take off anyone's hands. Anyway, I didn't write back to him, I kinda need my job still.

I'm off topic even before I started. Is that a record?

We're at the main room of the Planet Express Delivery Company. {**looks around** We are?} Professor Giles bursts in and instructs Willow and Tara to fetch the others because he has an important announcement. Problem is, Willow and Tara are not in the room, only Slacker!Buffy, who snarks that he needs to get new eyes so he doesn’t mistaken her for Willow or Tara. He's saved from further Buffysnark by the arrival of his incompetent personal doctor, who promptly declares that he's having a heart attack. Dr Clemberg is so incompetent that no one bats an eyelid at his misdiagnosis; he tells Giles to be moderate in everything. Heh, some things in life, you just can't be moderate no matter how hard you try.

Kendra enters and says something I don't understand. {Um, watty, pot vs kettle?} BenderSpike follows and he starts complaining about Willow and Tara. What? *indignant* No one is allowed to say anything bad about Willow and Tara. They're Willow and Tara. Besides, why is he complaining that he hears them having sex all the time? Isn't it something that people secretly like to hear? Oh wait, he's not a "people" he's a robot. Willow switches his volume off using a nifty knob thingy but he keeps on talking, only on mute. Heehee, he has no idea people can’t hear him! He can't complain. One of my favorite lines from the Empire Strikes Back is when C3PO can't stop talking and Han tells Leia, "shut him up or shut him down!" Spike should compare notes with Threepio about which is better, being on mute or completely turned off. Can I add volume knobs on everyone around me? Especially the geezer on the bus who talks to himself and scratches places that should not be scratched in public?

Back to ProfGiles, who proudly announces that he has invented a What-If Machine. A pregnant pause from the group greets this particular announcement. Oh well, time to go off on a tangent again. Why "pregnant" pause? It must be the whole "expecting" metaphor. And if the wiki dictionary definition is correct, the pause at the Planet Express isn't pregnant, since nothing significant happens next, apart from Tara deadpanning that ProfGiles already invented the What-If Machine. Last year. Oh my.

ProfGiles doesn't let a small detail like that deter him and proceeds to demonstrate how to use the machine. First he powers it up, filling it with much needed fuel -- a cup of tea. Because tea is the answer to life, the universe and everything. [*I thought it's 42, and no it’s not 37 – Sars*] In fact, in Year 3000 coffeeteas have taken over from mice and dolphins as guardians of Deep Thought and default rulers of the universe. Furthermore, they have developed a method of harnessing the potential energy in a good cup of tea to use as fuel, using the highly sophisticated research technique known as Out of Tune Humming (have you heard the whistle of a teapot? It's nothing except out of tune.)

It's Kendra who makes the "what-if" statement, and I only know what she's saying because I have close captioning. I read on my screen: "what if you were on some remote island somewhere?"

*****


Fantasy Island

Shot of an island. A cloudless sky, clear blue water, white sandy beaches. In other words, some kind of paradise. One part of me thinks it's the beginning of the Blue Lagoon; the other thinks it's gonna be the Island of DEATH. The peace is broken by the steady roar of an approaching Cessna. "Roar" might be a little optimistic, it's more like a sickly cough followed by a whine and a spit.

Cut to BossGiles, in an outrageously bright white suit (did he use up the planet's supply of bleach?) peering into the sky. Next to him is his sidekick, Xander Tattoo, who for some reason is kneeling on the ground. Does he think he can see the plane better from a position nearer the ground? That doesn't make sense. BossGiles doesn't think so either and tells him so.

Three passengers disembark from the tiny plane. Has anyone tried standing next to a 747-400 when it takes off? [*When it takes off it's moving at 180mph, you can't stand next to it, you'll have to be running very fast to keep up -- Sars*] To imagine 400+ tons hurtling down a runway and then actually being lifted into the air. Thousands of planes does this everyday, we should pause and think about how amazing this is.

But with the tiny, sorry-looking Cessna, I'm hard pressed to find any sense of wonderment. The passengers it disgorges seem to think so too. A bottle blonde with a decent enough rack takes one look at the surroundings and her nose wrinkles as if there is an unpleasant smell. She looks down at the still kneeling form of Xander Tattoo and a thinly disguised look of amusement crosses her face. Xander falls over himself (well, as much as one can fall over while kneeling) and fawns himself all over her. We learn that her name is Ms Jenkins.

The second passenger to emerge is a short guy with dyed spiky hair. There's a kind of anarchistic, primitive look about him. He is introduced as Mr Osbourne. I hope he isn't another one of Ozzy's offsprings, I think the world has had enough of Jack and Kelly.

There is a pause before the last passenger gingerly makes her way out, looking very green and not like someone going on a vacation in paradise. Flight didn't agree with her obviously. BossGiles greets her as Ms Rosenberg and offers her a glass of ginger ale. Does he know something about Ms Rosenberg that we don't? I think I'm being overdramatic. Even in her sickly state she makes a snarky comment about BossGiles' far too bright white suit. Hee. She thanks him for the ginger ale and he confirms that her purpose of visiting Fantasy Island is to fall in love. Well not looking this green she isn't, since green doesn't exactly give out "I'm available" vibes, though that didn't stop Fiyero from being inexplicably drawn to Elphaba. mmmWicked.

BossGiles seems to have decided to give Ms Rosenberg his attention, since Xander is busy schmoozing Ms Jenkins and Mr Osbourne seems to have disappeared. While walking her to her cabin, he discreetly puts a love spell on her. Oh! He's not BossGiles, he's the Wizard of Giles. Yay! Willow, that's Ms Rosenberg, doesn't notice that a white magic mist has settled on her shoulders. If I'm watching say, the Twilight Zone, I'll be chilled to the bone about this ghostly mist. But hey, this is Fantasy Island, it's forever cheerful and cheesy and now I feel bad for even suggesting something so creepy.

~~~~~

Giles is now back to BossGiles mode. He's in the kitchen dishing out his weekly lecture to his staff about how to behave around the guests. Most importantly, staff and guests are strictly forbidden to get chummy with each other. Never mix business with pleasure, that's what he wrote in the staff handbook. I really think he hasn't had any other experience running resorts, because surely he knows that there is an understanding, even expectation, that resort staff are available 24/7 to cater for their guests' every whim? *wink* I mean, if they're only supposed to be there to clean or serve food, then there is no need to hire ones as good-looking at this group, nor is there a need to uniform them in short shorts and tight t-shirts, is there?

Talking about good-looking, please turn your attention to the head chef who is busy adding herbs and spices to tonight's dinner. What's this about hot chefs? It used to be when you talk about tv chefs (um characters who are chefs not "celebrity" chefs), the likes of Artie and Spongebob Squarepants come to mind. And of course Chef. You know? Chef. Chocolate Salty Balls? That Chef? Sigh, no one understands me. *pouts* This chef is different. She's hot.

Whaddaya know, Giles' creepy White Mist of Doom settles on her. Well, not so much doom, since we decided this is Fantasy Island, not Twilight Zone. White Mist of Lust then, better?

~~~~~

True to his word, the Wizard of Giles sets Willow up with various potential "fall in love" candidates. It's a hilarious sequence of her going on different dates, I almost think the director should have used the split screen method. First up is Ozzy Junior, complete with heavy metal t-shirt and raw meat-eating table manners. I was right about him being a primitive! Willow is disgusted, but is saved by an angel in chef's uniform. Chef Tara to the rescue! Go Chef Tara!

Next up is stuffyboots Wesley, with some sort of impressive double-barreled surname. [*I know a few double-barreled surnames. Wan-Ker, Pin-Head, Jack-Ass – Sars*] Overattentive seems to be his middle name as he positively stifles Willow, making all her decisions for her, to her annoyance. Yes, I can see the light situated behind him shining through his empty brain. He expresses surprise that Willow, a vegetarian, doesn't like tofu. What's the problem with that, I'm a meat eater and I don't like pork, though I like tofu. Especially tofu ice cream, yum. Hey now, wipe that "ewwww" look off your face, tofu ice cream is just another type of soy ice cream that vegans and lactose-intolerant folks enjoy. The "ewwww" look on Willow's face when she looks at Wesley though, that's priceless. And what-ho! Saved by the Belle. Belle, who goes by the name of Tara normally, offers up the scrumptious sounding portabello mushroom quesadilla and Willow looks like she's so ready to eat ... the quesadilla! Mind outta gutter please.

Third time lucky may be. Yeah right. Her third date is just as disastrous as the last two. It's Gunn the Mechanic and he can't stop yakking about jacks and shocks. I can just hear Willow's inner monologue:
[blockquote]Gunn:
GoodWillow: We should pretend to pay attention, be nice.
BadWillow: Forget it. Tool is our friend. We call him that because he is one.[/blockquote]

And her fairy godmother Tara shows up, as if by magic, to offer her coffee. And a way out. What does the ungrateful one do? She leaves and hastily returns to her room, narrowly missing Tara's look of rejection and disappointment. Drat, why hasn't the White Mist of Lust started working its mojo yet?

Back in her room, Willow realizes she is the tool. So she makes amends by calling room service. Ah, it's room service, catering for guests' needs 24/7. This time, the WMoL goes its thing; Tara answers the phone and purrs that she'll deliver the requested pot of coffee personally. Okay, rant. What are the chances of the head chef of an upmarket resort answering the room service phone? Zilch. Zippo. Nada. Diddly-squat. It's the same thing as the Head of IT not having to run the daily server backup routine, it's too much of a waste of their time and salary. I do declare that it's the WMoL finally getting off its ass [*It's a mystical cloud, where is its ass situated exactly? -- Sars*].

Oh yeah, between the Chef talk and Tara serving Willow coffee (I wonder if she served Willow anything else?), I decided to make my own South Park Willow and Tara, together with coffee and tropical drink.


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It's the end of the week. The guests climb onboard the Cessna with smug grins on their faces, obviously so satisfied that they forget they're getting on such a contraption. Giles is in a quandary though, he hasn't seen Ms Rosenberg despite all the men he threw her way. He is a man who doesn't know failure and he's pissed off at the ineptness of his spells. Problem with spells, unlike the towels Car's mom bought for me (not that I'll want to return them. Yay for sales!), spells are non-returnable and non-refundable. I guess the purveyors of spells had better lawyers to come up with iron-tight non-return policies.

Willow bounces up to Giles and grins. Giles apologizes, but stops short of offering her a refund (he has the same lawyers as the purveyors of spells?). She does a double-take and tells him that duh, he's a dolt and of course she's in love.

Aaaaaand it's the chef! No fraternizing with the staff indeed. Snerk. They thank him for the Love Potion Number 9, and furthermore, Willow is staying. They're turning Fantasy Island to a lesbian resort. Oooooh! Look out Lesbos, you have competition now!

And we blipvert to ...

*****


Futurtara

Back at Planet Express the pervs are happy about what they just saw. Except Spike, who is complaining again about Willow and Tara being in love. They gang up on him and asks what his problem is.

He snorts and attempts to asks the What-If machine what the sitch is if Willow and Tara aren't in love. If the machine has eyes, it'll surely glare at him. As such, it splutters and asks, in its unique way, for another cup of tea. After Giles obliges it activates its Infinite Improbability Drive and gives us ...

*****


Willzilla and Queen Tarah

Oh my. It's Japanese giant monster cartoon time. My initial distaste that it's dubbed rather than subtitled turns to mild excitement as Willzilla makes her grand entrance. Smash! Bang! Wallop! She sets fire to a ship in the most spectacular manner and attacks anything and everything in sight. Nothing is safe from her destruction. Boy, Willzilla a one badass, foul mood bitca, she must get PMS real bad. I bet she has hormonal problems. She needs to get the Advanced Low Sex Drive (Libido) Hormone Test Kit, an "accurate, quick and easy saliva home hormone test" that includes a free 10-minute phone consultation with a compounding pharmacist. Okay, what's a "compounding" pharmacist? Someone who isn't a simple pharmacist?


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Scene fades to the anime version of the Specialfriends, aka the Willzilla Combat Task Force headquarters, where our intrepid heroes Buffy and Xander are watching the spectacle unfold on specially designed anti-Willzilla screens. Willzilla continues her rampage through the city, stopping only to use a bus as back-scratcher [*at least be grateful she isn't using it as a toe scratcher -- Sars*] and a lattice dome as a bowling ball which she aims expertly at office blocks masquerading as bowling pins.

"She must be stopped!" General Buffy proclaims. She orders her sidekick, Xander, to bring out the Serious Hardware. Well it must be either Xander's or Buffy's bad luck this week, because the Serious Hardware is stuck in the Serious Laundry, getting Serious Attention. So, they have nothing. Woe betide, it's the end of the world as we know it! How can anyone say they feel fine? [*Michael Stipe? -- Sars*]

Amidst the handwringing and minor panic brewing, in swoops Crazy!Drusilla, in her full lacy glory. Her contribution towards the battle Willzilla defense? A proposal to merge an ugly-as-ass lizard with a cute-as-ass kitten and a foul-as-ass fruitbat to give a giant monster-fighting ... giant monster. Only a true wacko, in the best Michael Jackson tradition, can think of blending such a concoction. Buffy and Xander, with no other alternative, give Dru the go ahead. They leave her to it while they quietly slip out of the building, just to show her how much support they are willing to give her.

A deep boom signals that the merge has happened. Oh, the building blows up too, so that's kind of a sign. The Amazing Queen Tarah emerges and I can't decide if I'm awestruck or grossed out. The magnificent three-headed, golden scaled, winged giant creature shakes herself out of the rubble and head towards Willzilla.

The unsuspecting Willzilla is busy playing with toys. Heh, she's like a kid in a toy shop [*how did we get from hormonal PMSing bitca to kid in toy store? -- Sars*], ripping out chunks of road and swinging it around like a two iron, aiming cars and trucks at non-existent bunkers and greens in the distance. Look out, Tiger! The Amazing Queen Tarah unceremoniously interrupts the driving range practice, crashing Willzilla into a shopping mall and flying away to assess the damage.

Willzilla is pissed. [*If she's pissed now, what was she before? Sipping tequila sunrise on the beach? - Sars*] She scrambles up and taunts Queen Tarah. They circle quietly, eyeing each other, fingers twitching, waiting for an offguard moment. Queen Tarah makes her move first, but Willzilla is more than a match for her. Lightning bolts, radioactive rays, lots of noise and smoke accompany each move. It's riveting. And reminds me of ... inflatable sumo suit fighting. What? You know I'm weird.

As quick as it begins, the fighting stops. The air crackles with anticipation. Then with two thunderous leaps they close the gap but instead of clawing each other's eyes out OMFG!!!! they're making out. Then it get like a sauna. I never thought I'd see the day when I'm watching giant monster porn. Okay, now Queen Tarah putting the train carriage into Willzilla's what? I don't want to look, yet I can't stop looking. These two give new meaning to earth-shattering sex. *is in shock*

I can't take anymore. Luckily we fade to ...

*****


Futurtara

There is silence at Planet Express. Speechlessness and horror mixes with embarrassment and perhaps a little titillation. Buffy comes to the rescue and asks the What-if machine for something more normal.

*****


Married...with Lesbians

From the terror of the destruction of Tokyo, we now turn to the terror of the destruction of a suburban home.

We're in Chicago. {**Looks around. We are? Oh wait. I am.**} Giles Bundy is home. He makes it clear that he's home by heading directly towards his favorite couch and demands beer. His long suffering wife Joyce dryly tells him that they're out of beer, thus giving him a rise that rarely happens.

Tara Bundy traipses down the stairs with a backpack that suspiciously has condensation on the outside. But since she is her Daddy's pumpkin she can do no wrong. Her younger sister Buffy tries to whistleblows but gets a blow on the shin instead. She can get nothing right that Buffy. Just then, the doorbell chimes and Tara rushes to open the door because she knows it's her next door neighbor and crush, Willow. They almost smooch but no one notices.

With a poorly constructed excuse, Tara and Willow disappears, obviously to do more smooching. I want to continue watching but ...

*****


Futurtara

Planet Express Tara expresses her concern that the portrayal of her in a dysfunctional Mid-west tv family is unrealistic. She wants to watch something else.

Incompetent Dr Clemberg prompts ProfGiles to say the magic words, "what if Willow and Tara were cats?" I expect a moving documentary from the Discovery Channel, instead we get ...

*****


Thundercats

Yet another comic tie-in cartoon I've never seen. Is this Torture the Recapper Saturday morning or what. Why can't they show something more normal like Tom & Jerry or Sailor Moon. Geez.

Some Pat Morita type of panther cat is in a ring, facing a Ralph Macchio lion cublet type. Ralph is actually Will-O, designated leader of their tribe. I guess I'm supposed to know the name of the tribe or the planet they live on, but I'm blanked out.

So Ralp--Will-O fights Pat. I guess I should be respectful and call him Master Pat. Master Pat is testing Will-O's power before she can ascend to be the leader of their tribe. I mentioned she's the designated leader, right? I wonder if the populace voted or was it some sort of royal family deal. He calls her "kitten" and tells her to push hard; I wonder if they have some Master-slave thing going on, then I remember ... kid's show and must show respect to Master Pat.

Mock-fighting.

More realistic fighting.

Actual fighting.

Looking good, kitten.

He ends up with his face in the sand. Will-O is smug. I snigger. That'll show the old fart.

Penultimate trial is complete. One last one, of course it's gonna be the hardest. They don't show us the prior trials, may be they were too boring like play chess with Gary Kasparov or juggle 3 balls. I don't really care.

*****

Cheetara is running. Running, running, running.

And thinking.

Ah, she's Will-O's teacher too, only she's much younger and hotter than Master Pat. It's like ... Liam and Ewan, yep yep. I didn't get a lot of HoYayness out of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, mainly because I respect Neeson and McGregor as actors; with Obi-Wan and Anakin it's the opposite reason -- I don't think Hayden Christiansen can muster more than 3 expressions, and to slash him with someone like Ewan McGregor is just sacrilegious. Anyway, back on track, I am getting H.E.A.V.Y. femslashy vibes off Cheetara and Will-O. Cheetara is thinking about Will-O choosing her mate once she becomes leader (you remember she's designated leader, yes?) but she dreads that it won't be her. C'mon Cheetara, all is fair in love and war. Are teacher-student relationships taboo where they are? Well if not, fight for her, Cheetara!

She meets Will-O at the start of the final trial and they flirt. Well they don't, but in my mind they do, okay? Indulge me.

Will-O is supposed to race against Cheetara. Now I did look this up, the maximum speed of animals. A cheetah can top (hee I said top, we had a top/bottom/switch discussion in chat the other day) 70mph whereas a lion maxes out at 50mph. So Will-O has to rely on something more than speed to get through this obstacle course trial. Of course Cheetara wants Will-O to win, though she has to make sure that she "loses" convincingly.

And they're off!

Running.

Running.

Running.

Ho hum. I feel like I'm watching Chariots of Fire. Will-O is surely feeling the Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner.

But no! The Mutants have to spoil the fun. Stupid!Spike Mutant comes up on her and attacks her. Now it becomes Run Lola Run. Luckily Will-O has a few brain cells more than him and with a few leaps she lures him to a bunch of trees. He lunges at her, she ducks and he's stuck with his claws firmly stuck in the tree trunk. Snerk.

She thinks she's free of the Mutants, but no! Fruit Punch Mouth Master and Bad Angel has taken Cheetara prisoner! They don't believe in treating prisoner's nicely like Razz!Willow did in She-Ra. Cheetara looks like shit, and that has totally brings out the butch in Will-O. She prepares to fight the Master with her tiny sword. Um, I hope she has better weapons than that little thing, doesn't seem quite enough for the Master. True to his word, he shoots blue lightning out of his arms directly at Will-O. He wants her sword, for some god-forsaken evil reasons. I have flashbacks at Emperor Palpatine flashing the same blue lightning at Luke Skywalker and boy am I in a Star Wars mood today. Will-O writhes about in pain; she is much more convincing than Mark Hamill, who looked very dreamy in his jumpsuit on Episode 4 but after his motorcycle accident his looks just went apeshit.

More magic painful blue lightning.

Her resolve waning, she's on the verge of giving up the sword when the voice of Cheetara enters her head. Seeing her friend {Do they "do spells" together?} in pain, a new resilience surges up inside her and as if by magic (yeah, an essential ingredient in children's programming, how can I forget?) she triggers the power of the sword. It grows and swells and any phallic undertone must be ignored because ... kid's show, you know.

With a shout of "Thundercats! Ho!" she roars and in a flurry of strokes the Master is dispatched. Bad Angel, who has so far done nothing in this show except hold Cheetara by a leash, gets a right kicking in the face. He does the wise thing and disappears after his master.

Will-O and Cheetara rush to each other and warmly embrace. By activating the sword, Will-O has moved from designated leader to real leader, even though she never finished the obstacle course. I suppose TPTB are so random that they make exceptions all the time.

Oh, they smooch. In a strictly PG way. But Will-O shyly asks Cheetara to be her mate and Cheetara says yes by upping the rating to PG-13. Sigh, why can't we move to R? Or more? *pouts*

And finally ...

*****


Futurtara

Back at the Planet Express everyone is filled with the warm and fuzzies.

Except BenderSpike. But then nobody cares what he thinks. He shrugs and goes to get a drink.



Producers: Chris Cook and Sally McFine
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[justin]

Dibs

ETA: Another worthy dose of snarkyness.

I liked the southparkised W/T picture. Very good

They leave her to it while they quietly slip out of the building, just to show her how much support they are willing to give her.

looking forward to the next snark-fest