G'day again, Debra.
Well, slap me in the face with a wet fish and call me Sally. This story was great fun.
Interesting concept. I like the way that you start it off giving as little information as possible, such as whether or not Willow, or Tara are students, when it is in regard to the cannon timeline, so on and so forth.
I think all of Willow's students found out more about their teacher in one day than I learned in my entire time at school. Times sure have changed.
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Oh God!, she thought, I can’t possibly afford to be thinking that any student was cute. No she wasn’t cute. Not her blonde hair or the way she was so shy or her blue eyes. Nope not cute at Willow shook her head. Not cute! Warty. Probably smells really bad too …
Yes Willow, that's working. Keep it up, and there's absolutely no chance of you jumping her bones.
And then we have this little gem from Tara.
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I’m not even going to ponder her lips
Oh yeah, they are both soooo screwed. Pun intended.
I've got to agree with you about Lord of the Rings. I love the book and all. I read the whole trilogy in a week while I was in primary school but all I can say is thankfully Peter Jackson did some judicious pruning for the movie verson.
I've got to wonder if Giles disinfected that book that Xander used oh so subltly to hide his bulge, or if he just chucked it.
Faith and Tara seem to make a good pair. I have to agree with your belief that what she always needed was a connection with those around her to stop her from sliding into the dark side. I remember when I was watching season three for the first time I actually thought she might have been doing the whole double agent thing with the mayor to begin with. That theory went down in flames though, now didn't it?
The interaction between the two of them is great fun. Who could go past this little ditty?
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“So there is a hottie,” Faith shouted triumphantly. She jumped on the girls’ beaten down couch. “T has a hottie!” she sung. “T likes jail bait. Tara likes her some hottie. Tara likes the jail bait.”
I think I might have a one-track mind. Part 8 - Parking? Didn't quite involve the kind of parking that first came to mind.
I loved the way that they were both trying to talk themselves out of their mutual attraction, with sod all success.
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As Tara smiled again, Willow thought, Oh man, I’m definitely gonna burn in Hell.
I think it would be worth it, don't you.
The little flashback to Tara and Faith's past was illuminating. I had thought up to this point that Tara had met her post-slayerdom, but nope, wrong again. I liked the fact that Tara used a less than traditional way to fight the vamps. I've alway's thought they should have investigated a few non-traditional ways to fight the good fight. And Faith not knowing that she was a slayer. Great touch.
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“I’m telling you,” a dark-haired young man was saying as he and a blonde girl entered the shop, “Batman could kick the Green Hornet’s butt.”
“His sidekicks are terrible,” the blonde argued, “the Green Hornet could take him easy. And how do I let you get me into these arguments?”
Clasic scooby banter. I love it. And 'professional bump fighters' cracked me up. Do they fight the kind of bumps that Xander had earlier too?
That was an interesting point raised about how they get the holy water. I'm not catholic but I understand that those little font things they have in the foyer for crossing your self is holy water, so I suppose an unscrupulous person could just nick so of that. Plus, I'm not sure if you need to be an actual ordained priest to bless the water. Also, I imagine in a town like Sunnydale, with that many churches, you should be able to find a priest who'd do it for free or as a little sideline.
The whole of Part 13 had me cackling the whole way, especially Anya's comments about Tara's breasts.
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“You’re straight,” Willow argued.
“But feeling bendy,” Buffy laughed at her own double entendre as the other pair reached the table.
Two words. Abso-bloody-lutely brilliant. (Alright, so one of them technically wasn't an actual word, but I don't give a stuff.
) I laughed my ass off. And Willow's description of how she determined she was gay was a riot. Spot-on Willow.
It was nice to see Willow's parents in a better light than usual. Usually everyone seems to portray them as less than stellar parents, so it's nice to see a change. Still, if you go by the series, you can't be too impressed with their performance. After all, her mother had one appearance (in which she tried to burn her own daughter at the stake) and her father was never seen at all.
One thing I've alway's liked about your stories is the way that you slip in little references to the show in such small ways. Only an obsessive fan (such as yours truely
) might notice them, but it's still cool. I'm actually talking about
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“Man,” Faith said, “that’s a nice bow.”
I assume that's a reference to Bad Girls (I think?) where Buffy and Faith start to rob the store and Faith explains her little 'want, take, have' philosophy. If I'm wrong, well, it won't be the first time.
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“Hey, nice to meet you,” Faith extended her hand, “do people call you G-man?”
“Not if I can help it,” he answered dryly.
Giles has never really had much luck with stopping that though, now has he?
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“Yes,” Giles answered drolly, “that should keep business hopping.”
“We need business but I don’t want anything hopping,” Anya announced as she also entered the store.
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Giles muttered, “Bloody hell. First Willow and now you, Buffy?”
“Maybe it’s in the water around here,” Anya mused, “I guess that means I’ll be next and Xander’s penis will be all alone.”
“Oh most Bloody Hell,” Giles muttered before turning and stalking toward the back of the store.
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Tara giggled inwardly as she noted the increase in the dark-haired girl’s breathing. If she wasn’t turned on by Buffy, she certainly was by the array of weaponry in the room.
So many comedic gems in one chapter! I'm spoiled for choice!
How can you not love Willow, when she is such total and utter crap at lying? I mean, c'mon that was truly gold medal standard sucky lying.
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“Can I feel how perfectly our hands fit? How it feels like you’ve taken up residence in my soul and my heart? Can I feel your heartbeat and smell the sweetness of your breath? Can I feel how badly I want to kiss you and never stop?”
“Yes, th-th-that,” “Or c-c-can you feel that rain?”
So very sweet, and yet so very funny.
I liked the way you described the meditation thing. Very deep and in depth. Almost enough to make me think about trying it, and I'm about as new-agey as roadkill.
Okay, as far as chapter titles go, this is an instant clasic in my book. Google: I Google, You Google, He, she or it Googles, We Google, You Google, They Google. Or a ridiculously long title. I am as cracked up as a carton of eggs that's been run over by a steam roller.
The whole flashback scene in Part 20 was pure, comedic genius. I humble myself before you, and other such sycophantic poppycock.
ELVIS! You gave Tara the middle name Elvis?! I loved the reasoning behind it, even if I think that was just a cover. C'mon, admit it. You just did that because you're a huge Elvis fan, didn't you?
Honestly, sometimes it seems like you're a drug dealer. Stay with me here, I do actually have a point. You give us a taste of the good stuff and then you yank it away. You put us through that whole spell scene, segue straight into a whoa-doggie kiss, and then BAM it all turns to crap. Deliciously cruel.
And then we go into the whole Dawn finds out but won't tell because Willow pisses her off, and Tara thinking Buffy is a demon phase. This is just way too cool.
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It’s daylight so it’s not a vampire unless it’s covered with a blanket, which isn’t very cool.
Could that perhaps be a little jab in the direction of the Peroxide One, I wonder?
Honestly, maybe Giles should get that speech tattooed on his chest or just make a home movie of it. It would save him a lot of time.
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“I came to pick Anya up for dinner and saw you all here. I figured it was either a Scooby meeting or Giles trying to get lucky with four totally hot…” The man never saw the slap from Buffy on the back of his head or the punch from his girlfriend that landed on his arm. “Yep, Scooby meeting,” he said as he shook his arm.
Ah, you can alway trust Xander to throw in some inappropriate humour.
Part 25 was great. I love the way you made everyone realize all at once that they were both teachers. An positive avalance of clue attainment. Except Xander. I love the fact that the eye whose power is supposed to be that he sees stuff is completely clueless. Ya gotta love the big, daft git. And then you did that little bit with Tara saying
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“You kissed a student?” Tara accused.
I totally thought you were going to use someone's earlier suggestion and string out the drama that way. But nope, you were just yanking our collective chains. Pure evil genius.
Once again, the Watcher's Council show their mastery of being a bunch of useless bastards. Honestly, Willow should just hack into their bank records and rob the tossers blind. That'll show the cheap gits what for.
You've gotta love the quote from the Princess Bride. Great movie. The book's an interesting read too.
Spike makes a cameo, and nearly gets staked for his trouble. I have to pity the poor, evil undead guy.
You kind of caught me napping with the end. It just seemed to come up out of nowhere. Here I was thinking there was at least another chapter or two, and BAM it's 'game over man, game over'. A fresh baked non-existant cookie for you if you can pick that movie quote.
Willow with a nipple ring. Didn't see that one coming. To go from no piercings to that in one step. Lets hear it for lady liquor.
To sum up, that was bloody brilliant. All the feedback from kittens alternately begging, threatening and bribing you to make Willow and Tara realize their mistake just made it funnier. Personally, I could've read more in the same vein for ages, but maybe I'm just a masochist. Plus, I knew I didn't have to wait. There's something to be said for coming in late.
Any-hoo, great as always. Hope the family's all good, and I'm awaiting your next masterpiece with baited breath. By which I mean I've been sucking on raw squid and drinking fish oil.
Bye.
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from holland 
... but this story totally escaped my virtual clutches... anyways, i finally finished reading it and i absolutely love it! you are the queen of torture with this one debra... if i was present while you were in the process of posting this story, i surely would have had a straightjacket before the ending!... but was the torture all worth it in the end when they finally get it! it's so funny that the exact time our two gals realized the truth, so did everybody else 
I have no idea either. If you go to the Elemental series (which I know you’ve read!) there are links to all my stories and all the stories of the other wonderful Elemental writers there. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve found this now. Everyone who has read it after it ended agreed with you about the suspense. But it was fun… Thanks for your praise and kind words.
. seriously, awesome fic. I really don't have much constructive to say, but..... again, wow. I'll just leave it at that.....
