The Questions and (un)-Answers game

[watty]

I saw this on the nano forums, thought it might be fun.

Here's how we play. I ask a question, and the next person answers, leaves another question, etc.

The catch is: your answer cannot be in any way correct or useful. Think tangent. Think off-base. Think the uncyclopedia.

Still confused? Let me give an example:
Q: How do toasters work?
A: A team of elves inside operate a series of effiicient wood-fired ovens that ensure the bread is crisped up to the correct temperature and texture.

okay? Here goes. Don't forget to leave your question when you (un)-answer.


Q:What is the purpose of thumbs?

[JustSkipIt]

A: They provide enough weight that our hands don't just float up all the time.

Q: Why do some dogs have floppy ears and some have ears that stick straight up?

[FineyMcFine]

A: Some dogs have ears that are filled with helium, thus they stick straight up. Dogs with floppy ears have carbon dioxide inside.

Q: Why does Ivory soap float?

[GayNow]

A: Ivory soap floats because it's really a secret government WMD diguised as moisturizer.

Q: Why is the sky blue?

[watty]

A: God ran out of pink paint.

Q: Where are my glasses?

[dark_chylde]

A: Your glasses are the key witnesses in a governmental conspiricy scandal and currently put in a safe house with six federal marshalls guarding them.

Q: Why is the pizza guy always late when you're sooo hungry ?

[vix84]

A: The pizza place has a special room with huge screens, where they contrast the hunger levels and sins of their customers and thus determine the length of waiting time they feel one deserves.

Q: Why do people wear makeup?

[Trom DeGrey]

A: To mark themselves as members of either the Bitchy Foo-Foo Tribe or the Scary Goth Tribe.

Q: Why do people dress their dogs in clothes?

[umgaynow]

A: I really can't say, but it has something to do with an unfortunate childhood incident involving Miracle Whip and a copy of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Q: Why is Cheesecake called cake when it's really pie and Boston Cream Pie is really cake???

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: They're not. You've just been programmed to believe that way...

Q: Why should people who live in glass houses not throw stones?

[chronic]

A: Because the person you threw the stones at will be able to see you.

Q: How do they grow seedless grapes?

[watty]

A: They hypnotize them.

Q: How do I get rid of the tomato sauce stain on my best t-shirt?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Pour orange juice on the stain. It is a known fact that tomatoes are afraid of oranges.

Q: Why do days off seem to pass by so much more quickly than workdays?

[chronic]

A: They are carrying less weight, and can therefore move faster.

Q: Why are the top and bottom of the world called "poles"?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Because the Polish were the first to discover them.

Q: Why doesn't money grow on trees?

[FineyMcFine]

A: Because it grows on vines.

Q: Why do clocks run clockwise?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Since they are always in a hurry it would be "unwise" of them just to walk.

Q: What do I want for Christmas?

[chronic]

A: Whatever it is you get, because you're very polite.

Q: Why are famous people called stars?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: It was originally thought that they should be called satellites, but after so many scandals involving cars and bars, the press decided the potential for rhyming headlines was just too important to pass up.

Q: Why is it that the item you're looking for always happens to be in the very last place you look?

[GayNow]

A: Because Mars and Pluto are out of alignment.

Q: Why does a light bulb glow?

[vix84]

A: There's a glow worm stuck inside!

Q: What does FedEx send inside its boxes and envelopes?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.

Q: How did the bull get inside the China cabinet?

[Tiggrscorpio]

A: He was invited by the silverware.

Q: Where do babies come from?

[oneyedchicklet]

A: There's a factory that makes them and mommies and daddies go shopping to pick the one they want.

Q: Why do drinks come in bottles and cans?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Because the bottles and cans make it easier to shake the drinks up and spray them at your friends.

Q: What is in the center of the Earth?

[GayNow]

A: Chocolate syrup and whipped cream...with a cherry and sprinkles

Q: Why do priest use pontificate incense?

[Foomatic]

A: It makes raisins shrivel up quicker during the winter solstice, effectively rendering the population of Lompoc, CA. mute and constipated.

Q: Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: I stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

Q: What is the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx?

[GayNow]

A: 7

Q: What is the technical term for the little piece of fuzz in your belly button?

[Krazy Dreamer]

A: Believe it or not, it's butter.
(Oh and thank you for answering the Sphinx question. I have been puzzling over that one for years.)

Q: What do you call a baby dragon?