Loved the fic Cam...I can totally identify...except if I were Tara, after the jogging I would have gone for a nice long nap lying on my stomach
Too too funny...as always

umgaynow

Finally caught up on the other challenge fics

Justin: Hee! TaraWillow struggling with her laptop, while WillowTara burns breakfast, was great - so perhaps Buffy isn't the most preceptive person, but the girls also definitely overestimated their ability to switch places seamlessly. I loved their hesitant semi-confessions too - "The good news is you haven't been fired/shop hasn't been closed" I liked the matching opening and closing segments too, that was a nice touch.

Terra21: I know everyone's said it, but I'll say it again - your way of incorporating W/T Season 3 Y'all was a stroke of genius. And TaraWillow hitting on Xander was hilarious - absolutely the kind of thing Tara would never do, yet Willow absolutely would tease the poor guy

Watson: Really good phone conversations between the girls, I loved the rhythms and patterns in the way they coversed long-distance. Willow zoning out thinking about Tara-scent was very cute. That touch of Take-Charge Tara was great too. Mr Ducky brings to mind many interesting bathtime possibilities

Wiccanbotanist: Great use of Dawn (my favourite well-meaning chaos sprite). Seeing a Willow glare from Tara would be odd I'm really wishing we got an episode along these lines, I'd have loved to see Aly and Amber playing each other's characters (reminiscent of the wacky fun Farscape had with Out Of Their Minds). Loved WillowTara making 'a few pointed comments' and getting some respect from Willow's jerky superiors.

Hermitfish: Lovely! Normally I'm not a dog person, but Willow and Tara are too adorable not to love, and I loved how you brought out their varying canine personalities. Their humans were cute too, plenty of laughs from Buffy and broody Angel

Tarawhipped: Hilarious I loved the personality changes the girls went through, given the chance to play with different bodies to the usual - I can easily imagine Tara's quiet resolve propelling her as an athlete, given the right physique, and Willow's uncontrollable enthusiasm at suddenly having a cleavage was adorable. I guess it was odd that they hadn't fooled around in two weeks - but that underscores the point, I suppose, that they have the bodies they're meant to have, and that their admiration for each other's physiques doesn't mean they have to do anything about it (except, of course, race back home to admire each other extensively ). And thanks for the image of Tara in a sexy Faith-like outfit, and Willow in skimpy track gear

And now replies:

Hermitfish: Thanks I can't recall what it was that prompted me to include all those other titles (apart from loving the fics, based on the quick read I'd done at that point), but I think it really worked in my favour. Having this big list of things to include in the story (42 in all, titles, phrases and plot elements) really kept my attention fixed on the challenge.

GayNow: Thank you. I've missed writing Smut Bunnies too - once I've taken a few days to relax from recent writing exertions (to which this fic was in part a little blow-off-steam, be-silly exercise), I'll be back at the main story. I'm glad you found it funny - I'm always nervous with comedy, it's so subjective. Thanks again.

Cooper: Thanks It was 10 Debra titles, 19 from challenge #1 (16 titles, 3 lines from unnamed fics) and five from this challenge - though I lucked out with 'Day in the Life' being a title in both challenges. In all it took about 24 hours from start to finish, though obviously not non-stop It did kind of write itself - I figured a magic swap would be a popular option for this challenge, so being pathologically different, and still having Smut Bunnies in my head, I hit on the Mission Impossible swap idea. Seeing as both Willow and Tara are Bunnies, swapping between themselves alone wouldn't really have much of a point, so having a double for one of them seemed a practical (if insanely convoluted) way to go, and there was Chance. After that it was more or less just spur-of-the-moment things as I was writing, and figuring out ways to incorporate the titles.

Watson: Thanks, I'm glad Chance turned out okay - she's a great character, but the notion of trying to duplicate her 'voice' is a pretty scary one. I actually didn't think about Anya planting counters on the 'equipment', I was just figuring she meant whether they'd been used or not, but now that you mention it I'm definitely going with your explanation, it's way funnier - I can just picture Anya checking little digital counters on the bottoms of all the toys when she gets them back

Arwen: Thanks. I was determined to get W/T Season 3 Y'all in somewhere, even before I'd decided in a moment of craziness to include every title I could get my hands on. I don't think it was as good as Terra's, but I'm pleased overall with how it came out.

Tarawhipped: Thanks, and rest assured when I add Mission Improbable to Looking-glass (probably later tonight, if I get around to it) it'll have had an edit somewhere to get 'eye of the beholder' into it. I've kind of been going into Smut Bunny withdrawal too, but luckily not for much longer

Taralicious: Thanks. I had a great time just throwing anything I could think of into this fic - being a one-off, I got to be even sillier than usual in Smut Bunnies

_________________
Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

Title: Gaydar
Rating: NC-17
Author: Fun In Dysfuntion (a.k.a. teddy)
Disclaimer: Large chunks of this story are the property of Joss Whedon, Ilene Chaiken, and the various multi-conglomerate media corporations (i.e. Fox, UPN, and Showtime).
Distribution: Cut, paste, print, create collages with it, enjoy. Just give my pseudonym credit.
Author's Notes:
1. A response to pay homage to a great fanfic writer who I enjoy.
2. I was aiming for fluffy and humorous with a romantic flair. It may have landed in the confused-arched-eyebrow area with a smutty burst.
~*~*~*~*~*~*

Willow entered her home and loudly announced her presence, “Tara, I’m home. My school days are officially over! There’s woo and hoo in the air ‘cuz I just finished the last of my finals for this semester.”

“Congratulations, sweetie,” Tara called out from the next room.

The redhead walked into the living room where her beautiful girlfriend was curled up on the sofa watching television. As she approached Tara, Willow asked, “Hey, whatcha doing?” briefly brushing the blonde’s lips in a small kiss.

Slightly embarrassed at being caught watching another reality show, Tara mumbled, “Survivor: Ash Island.”

“Are you serious? I thought you gave up watching these shows after Fox aired ‘STD Island’,” the quizzical redhead responded.

“That was ‘Temptation Island’, and yes, that was repulsive. But, this one is pretty good. There’s even a lesbian couple in it,” Tara asserted.

Willow sat down next to her girlfriend and snuggled onto her shoulder. She still wasn’t convinced that these shows were very entertaining, but she enjoyed being with Tara and focused her attention on the show.

“Is she dating one of the other women on the island?” Willow asked as she watched a small, spry, blonde woman giving a brief confession while sitting on a beach shore.

“No,” Tara answered, shaking her head, “The lesbian couple just left. They were the ones who walked into the woods.”

“Uh, ok. Are you sure? Because she’s,” Willow pointed at the confessing blonde, “definitely setting off all of my gaydar alarms.”

“Your what?” Tara asked incredulously.

Willow repeated, “My gaydar. She is setting off my gaydar tingles.”

“You don’t actually believe you can sense people’s sexual attraction, do you?” Tara asked in a disbelieving tone. Staring at girlfriend with lightly furrowed brows, she tried to assess the redhead’s seriousness.

“Well, not for everyone, but for some. I knew about you,” Willow maintained and added with a chuckle, “even though I didn’t know about me. But still, that counts.”

“I tell everyone I’m gay. I practically introduce myself as Tara ‘Not-really-much-for-the-timber’ Maclay,” the blonde bantered.

“I knew the first day I met you at that Wicca group,” Willow stated in a self-satisfied manner.

Tara suspiciously eyed the redhead. She didn’t quite believe her girlfriend’s claims. She started to counter the redhead’s assertion but was distracted when she heard a knock on the front door.

Opening the door, Tara was surprised to find Fred nervously bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“I found Moira!” the brunette exclaimed as she burst through entryway, striding into the living room, and pulling the surprised blonde behind her.

“Who’s Moira?” Willow and Tara asked simultaneously.

“That’s Moira!” she pointed at the two confused women, “Moira is that gut physical attraction between two souls. I’ve found my Moira.”

“Huh? Who? Ok. Start again. If possible, don’t say ‘Moira’,” the mildly irked redhead chided.

“Her name is Raia. She works over at the café near the Espresso Pump. And, she’s always really nice when I go in there for ice cream, and then there’s ice cream. Oh, yeah, she, um, smiles a lot at me, and, uh, sometimes she sends over these extra little treats that I didn’t order.”

“Has she asked you out?” Willow inquired.

“Hm..no…” the brunette answered uncomfortably.

“Have you asked her out?” Tara asked.

“Uh, no…There are a few technicalities, which I need to work out. It’s not Maxwell equations, but it’s definitely not wave-particle duality,” the brunette disconcertingly replied.

Tara turned to Willow, relying on her Fred-lingual skills to interpret.

“She means that there are problems, which are not exactly simple but not overly complex,” she responded to her girlfriend’s implicit question. Shifting her attention back to Fred, she asked, “So, what’s the problem? Other than the lack of date-age discussions.”

“Well…” the brunette hesitated, “I can’t read her signals.”

“You can’t read her signals?” Tara asked, once again feeling the need for Fredian translation.

“Ohhh….” Willow surmised the issue at hand, “She’s not setting off your gaydar.”

Fred lowered her eyes and shook her head sadly. “For two days, I’ve been going over every single one of our interactions, and I, I just want to know before I…” the forlorn brunette paused unable to continue.

“What can we do?” Tara asked as she placed a comforting arm on Fred’s shoulders.

Fred looked up at her two friends and pleaded, “Help me find out.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Walking past the Magic shop, the three women ran into Anya locking up the store. Smiling, Tara waved and greeted the ex-vengeance demon, “Hey Anya.”

After securing the door, she returned the greeting, “Hello,” and began to dance outside the shop.

Puzzled at this strange behavior, Willow asked, “What are you doing, Anya?”

“The dance of capitalist superiority,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“Looks like the hustle to me,” Fred observed.

Pausing mid-step, Anya shrugged. “So, what are you gals up to this evening?” the curious ex-demon asked.

Uncomfortable revealing any information about Fred’s predicament, Tara and Willow remained quiet, waiting for the brunette to broach the subject herself.

“By the overwhelming chorus of silence coming from my companions, I gather I’m supposed to explain,” Fred sighed and briefly described her situation, “We are going to the café find out whether I should ask a woman out.”

“Oh, out for some sapphic searching. Can I help? What’s the plan? And, why don’t you just use your gaydar?” the enthusiastic ex-demon asked.

“Anya, what do you know about gaydar?” a startled Willow questioned the ex-demon.

“What? Just because I prefer my orgasm buddies to be of the male variety doesn’t mean I can’t tell when people are attracted to one another. Plus, I’m a 1,000-year-old ex-vengeance demon. I have skills. Mostly evisceration skills, but I have a few others, too,” she huffily replied. “So do you want my help or not?”

“Fine. Finey McFine. As long as Fred’s ok with it,” an exasperated Willow responded.

Fred nodded her head and muttered, “Oh yes. Not doing real good here at the moment.”

“So, what’s the plan?” the ex-demon excitedly asked.

“No plan. We were just going to talk to her,” Tara replied.

“So, you’re just going to walk into the café and demand this woman show her lesbo street creds?” Anya challenged.

“Well, no…” Willow demurred.

“Because you know how responsive people are when a stranger comes up to them and asks them about their potential orgasm buddies. Believe me, I know. Not very responsive,” the ex-demon needlessly lectured.

“Do you have a plan, Anya?” Fred asked.

“Yes. Do you gals have your cell phones?” the confident ex-demon replied.

The women silently nodded, apprehensive about Anya’s plans.

“Good. Because we are going on a mission to find out whether a certain young woman wishes to share her orgasms with Fred,” the ex-demon announced delightedly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The café was a few blocks away from the Magic shop. The group strolled slowly as Anya discussed the different aspects of the mission with a military air. She informed everyone that Fred would ignore the presence of her friends and that discrete communication would be maintained via conference calls on their cell phones.

At first, the plan appeared harmless enough. However, midway through Anya’s plan, a crimson flush crept across both Tara and Willow’s features at the thought of what the ex-demon had in mind, but they acquiesced to help their friend. Not until Anya reached the final phase of her plan did protests erupt among the women.

“Nooo. No way. I can’t do that Anya,” Fred paled at the thought of approaching the woman in the café.

“Fine. What about you?” the ex-vengeance demon looked at Willow.

Panicked, the redhead grappled for a coherent thought, “Uh, um ... various sounds of hesitation...”

Before Willow was able to voice her objection, Tara stood in front of her, partially shielding her from the ex-demon and firmly replied, “No.” In a single word, the blonde conveyed with absolute clarity the rejection of this idea.

Anticipating the ex-demon’s next thought, the redhead shifted her position to stand in front of her girlfriend, “Oh, frilly heck no. There is no way Tara is going to flirt with that woman.”

“Alright! I can see where the entrails end. I will be the one who flirts with this woman. Xander won’t mind. Actually, he might want to watch. Do you think I have time to call and invite him?” the ex-demon asked with a leer.

“NO!” all three women vehemently chorused.

Pouting, the ex-demon capitulated.

When they passed the Espresso Pump, all four women prepared themselves by slipping their earbuds in place and setting their phones to vibrate. Bells tinkled as the women staggered their arrivals at the café. Tara and Willow chose a small intimate table in the middle of the establishment. Pulling out her cell phone, the redhead entered in Anya’s speed dial code. The ex-demon sat at a table off to the side and against a wall, pulled out a small notebook from her purse, and answered her call. After connecting with Anya, Willow made a call to Fred. The brunette just slid into a booth when she answered her phone. Anya, seeing the nod from the redhead, placed her call to Tara’s phone.

“Raia is in the kitchen area. Black hair. Brown eyes,” Fred whispered into her phone mic.

The redhead looked up, catching the young woman’s warm smile at the newcomers. Her almost almond-shaped eyes sparkled. “Very nice,” she complimented Fred. “It’s the cute girl with black hair,” Willow whispered to Tara.

Hearing Fred’s description of the woman, Anya furtively glanced up and cheered, “Go you, Fred,” while she scribbled in her notebook.

Willow scrutinized the young woman in the kitchen and whispered in her mic while Tara listened, “Dress is casual. Can go either way. Can you see her nails, Anya?”

“Short, well kept. But, she’s working in a kitchen,” Anya replied, scribbling more notes down, “Not enough visual info. I think we need to move on.”

Tara and Willow blushed. They looked at one another, waiting for Anya’s signal.

“Now,” both heard the cue and lunged for one another in a passionate kiss. Willow wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck. She pulled the blonde closer to deepen their kiss. Tara softly groaned as a warm tongue slid against hers. Her hands wandered up to caress Willow’s face.

When she heard gasps from the customers, Raia looked up to see two attractive women making out in the middle of the café. Nearly everyone was intently gawking at the couple. She dropped her gaze, wanting to give the women some privacy although it appeared that privacy was not a main concern of theirs at the moment.

“Abort,” Anya whispered in her mic, her frustration obvious in her voice. She jotted some notes down before implementing the final phase of the plan.

Pulling apart, the red-faced Wiccans were breathless. Eyes dialated, the blonde gazed at her flushed girlfriend as a rush of adrenaline coursed through her body, intensifying her excitement. The redhead was dazed by the experience, but she was still able to recognize the intense arousal flashing across her girlfriend’s features. Temporarily forgetting why they were in the café, the women were reminded by Anya’s voice in their ears.

“I’m going in,” the ex-demon declared and hung up her cell phone.

“This is it, Fred,” Willow softly spoke to the brunette.

Fred was still stunned by her friends’ display but forced her eyes away from the couple to watch the ex-demon approach Raia.

Looking up from the food that she was preparing, the raven-haired woman smiled at the stranger ambling towards her.

“Do you ever crave artichokes?” the stranger inquired, pointedly fixing her gaze on Raia. The stranger continued without waiting for an answer, her voice lowered conspiratorially, “I’m in the mood for artichokes. I just like the texture of the tender leaves scraping lightly against my teeth as I work my way into the heart. Do you happen to have any artichokes I could try?”

“We have a pretty good artichoke dip appetizer, but it’s made with only the chopped hearts and served with half a baguette,” Raia replied politely.

“I’m normally a baguette girl myself, but I just want artichokes at the moment. Um, nothing else?” she asked plaintively, her eyes probing.

“No. I’m sorry. It’s the only dish we have,” the raven-haired woman calmly explained as she lowered her eyes, signaling the end of the conversation.

“Oh,” the ex-demon replied disappointedly, walking away from the woman.

When Anya turned around, the defeated look on her face conveyed to everyone that the mission had terminated unsuccessfully. The women staggered their departures from the café. Fred was the last to depart, looking over her shoulder at Raia before making her way outside.

Gathered on the street corner away from the café’s windows, the group recounted the events of the mission.

Notebook in hand, Anya expounded on her notations, “It’s just too ambiguous. Nothing about the way she looked or moved suggested that she might be gay--or straight for that matter. When she saw you two kissing, she didn’t react negatively, but she didn’t stare either. And, she just flat out ignored all of my flirting. What lesbian in her right mind rejects an offer to share artichokes?”

“A lesbian not interested in your produce,” Tara ribbed. “Gaydar is a myth. We still don’t know whether Raia is interested in Fred,” she remarked.

“I never said it was an exact science. It’s just a feeling,” Willow rejoined.

“Well, what is your ‘feeling’ about Raia?” Tara asked.

Before Willow could answer, the raven haired woman came out of the café, searching up and down the block.

Locating Fred, Raia smiled and headed toward her. She was somewhat nonplussed that the stranger who had just hit on her and the couple who were making out in the café were talking with the brunette. Ignoring the people around the shy girl who had piqued her interest, she walked up to Fred.

“Before I lose my nerve…again, I just wanted to know if…maybe…you might want to go out…for some coffee?” she bit her lower lip, watching Fred’s face for any discomfort caused by her offer.

Fred lit up at the invitation. In a slight Texan drawl, she replied excitedly, “I’d love to have coffee with ya’ll.”

Raia was surprised that she never noticed her Texan drawl before now. “Tomorrow at noon, ok?” she asked.

Beaming, Fred nodded. Her vocal chords stopped responding to any neural commands to form sounds.

“Meet me here,” she said quietly and grinned, looking up at the nearby storefront, the Espresso Pump, and drawing Fred’s gaze to follow.

Raia backed away as she smiled and returned to her job at the café.

“I knew it!” the redhead whooped gleefully.

Tara snorted, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

During breakfast the next day, Tara noticed her girlfriend’s pensive expression and asked, “Whatcha thinking?”

Willow smiled cryptically and replied innocently, “Uh, not thinking. Just having a lot of happy non-thoughts.”

“Uh huh. Why do I think you have something planned?” the blonde asked skeptically.

With a mischievous glint in her green eyes, she replied, “Maybe I do. But, it’s a surprise.”

“I thought you hated surprises,” Tara responded, wondering what her girlfriend had planned.

“Nooo. I love surprises when they’re for you,” Willow replied, adding facetiously, “Surprises in my hot dogs…not so much.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Holding Tara’s hand, Willow led her to a shady spot under a blue oak tree. She spread out a blanket and placed the wicker basket down. “Whad’ya think?” the redhead asked excitedly.

Tara surveyed the smattering of trees across the grassy meadow that was interspersed with clusters of orange and yellow poppies. Her unwavering blue eyes held her girlfriend’s before she replied, “Beautiful,” making the redhead blush.

With the remains of their picnic piled near the wicker basket, Willow leaned back against a tree, wrapping her arms around Tara, who sat between her outstretched legs. The blonde rested comfortably in her arms. Feeling a chill breeze, Tara reached over to grab the extra blanket, draping it around the both of them before settling back into her girlfriend’s arms.

“This is wonderful,” Tara murmured contentedly, turning her head to capture her girlfriend’s lips.

“Mm,” the redhead agreed. She brushed her tongue along blonde’s lower lip, alternating between soft nips and soothing strokes. Tara parted her lips as a warm tongue slipped into her mouth and slid across hers. Groaning, she rubbed the tip of her tongue along the soft underside of Willow’s before she enclosed her lips around it and sucked gently. Exhaling raggedly, Willow’s hands wandered, starting from the blonde’s shoulders, down her arms to her fingertips, and back up her shoulders.

“Hm. That feels nice,” Tara sighed, breaking their kiss as she pressed her warm lips along Willow’s jawline.

“You feel nice,” purred Willow.

Tara recognized what the husky tone in her girlfriend’s voice intimated. “There are people passing by in the distance,” she said nervously.

The redhead bent her head to nuzzle and kiss the side of Tara’s neck. Working her way up to the blonde’s earlobe, she nipped the flesh and laved it with her tongue. She paused to speak softly in her girlfriend’s ear, “True. But, we’re under this blanket, and we’re far enough away that we just look like a speck to them.”

Willow moved her left hand upward. Her fingertips traced the side of Tara’s breast over the spaghetti strap top, eliciting another groan from the blonde. The other traveled to caress the Tara’s shoulder and brushed the blonde hair away from her neck before traveling down her arm and lightly touching the side of her other breast. The blonde drew in a hitched breath. Her hands reached for the redhead’s splayed thighs, gripping them almost painfully. Willow placed light kisses along the nape of her neck. The contact of wet warm lips sent a shiver down the blonde’s back, causing her to arch. “Willow,” she whimpered, as her hands flexed on the redhead’s thighs.

Fingertips coasted lightly across Tara’s nipple, earning a gasp in response. “Uh huh,” she murmured, nuzzling the blonde’s ear and running her tongue along the curved edges before she suckled on the lobe.

“I can’t reach you, if I’m facing in this direction,” the flustered blonde complained.

With deep throaty chuckle, the redhead whispered in her ear, “I like the way you’re facing.”

“Oh…” she suspired; her already pounding heartbeat redoubled.

Tickling the blonde’s ear with her warm breath, Willow softly spoke, “I saw how our display at the café…aroused…you.” She lowered her head to suck on the pulse point below Tara’s ear.

“Ah…” Tara moaned from the combination of the memory and caresses, eliciting a rush of wetness.

“So, this…” Willow’s hand slid down to shallowly dip inside of Tara’s jeans briefly before resting her palm on the coarse fabric on her hip, “is your surprise,” the redhead murmured seductively, drawing shivers from her girlfriend.

Desire flooded through Tara’s body. The blonde turned her head, locking her darkened blue gaze with Willow’s. No longer capable of speech, she pressed her lips against the redhead’s, exploring the warmth of her mouth and drawing the redhead’s tongue into hers. Breaking the kiss, Tara leaned into the redhead, slowly rubbing her back across Willow’s chest. Feeling the redhead’s nipples harden under her motions, she dragged her nails up the tops of Willow’s thighs. Resigning to her constrained movements, she relayed a silent promise as she shifted her hips, grinding her backside into Willow’s center and drawing a whimper from her.

The redhead grazed her teeth along the blonde’s shoulder muscles. Willow’s hands slid under Tara’s top, massaging up to her breasts. She stroked the undersides of the blonde’s breasts, enjoying their weight in her palms. Her fingers fanned upwards across the coral nipples as they pebbled in response, provoking her girlfriend to arch and push her breasts into Willow’s teasing hands. Rolling the puckered nipples between her thumbs and fingers, the redhead pulled firmly. She sucked hard on the side of Tara’s neck, her labored breaths skimming across the surface of Tara’s throat.

Sensations tore through Tara’s body. Her whimpers turned to guttural moans. Every touch from Willow heightened the throbbing between her legs. Her hips slowly rocked to and fro, searching to release the pressure.

Willow’s hands drifted downward as she sensed Tara’s urgency. Idly running her fingers along the fasteners of Tara’s jeans for a moment, she slowing lowered the zipper with one hand while releasing the catch with the other. With an audible groan, the redhead slid her hand inside the blonde’s jeans, feeling the moisture soaking through soft cotton fabric of her underwear. Gliding under the last barrier of clothing, Willow’s fingertips brushed the damp, wiry curls before sliding farther down. Tremors rippled through the redhead’s body as Tara’s arousal coated her fingers.

Tara tilted her hips, guiding where she wanted Willow’s touch. Gasping, the blonde tried to stifle her moan as sliding fingers traced a path around her clit. She shivered as Willow teased her nipple, each tug sending another rush of wetness. She felt the redhead’s warm quick breath against her ear, nearly matching her own labored breathing. Tara trembled as Willow rhythmically stroked her clit as the tension in her body coiled tightly. Arching rigidly, her unfurling orgasm ripped through Tara’s quivering body. Her throat burned as she held in her scream. Anchored by the redhead’s arms holding her, she collapsed against Willow.

Willow placed calming kisses on her temple, waiting for Tara’s breathing to slow. “Alright?” the redhead whispered softly in Tara’s ear, hugging the blonde woman close to her chest.

“Yes. Just intense,” the blonde replied hoarsely.

“Enjoy?” the redhead inquired.

“Immensely,” Tara answered throatily, curling herself into Willow’s warmth. Drawing circular patterns on Willow’s hand, she asked, “Curious?”

“Maybe,” Willow responded, her ambivalent reply belying the desire in her tone.

Turning in Willow’s arms, Tara pressed her lips briefly to Willow’s, trapping the redhead’s lower lip with her teeth and flicking it once with her tongue. With a devilish gleam in her eyes, the blonde flashed an impish grin while she crawled down the redhead’s body to fulfill her earlier promise, silently slipping under the blanket.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, Willow and Tara sat together in the kitchen, discussing the events at the café while they sipped on their cooling coffees. With no rain of toads or intentional armageddons in sight, the day boded well.

“So, what does it feel like when your gaydar goes off?” the curious blonde asked.

Willow replied in an adorable singsong voice, “It’s like a mild tingle in my tummy.”

Charmed by her girlfriend’s cuteness, Tara placed her hand on the redhead’s stomach, rubbing in small concentric circles. “Tummy tingles?” she repeated.

Willow inhaled sharply. In a slightly strained voice that was half an octave higher than usual, she replied, “Uh huh. But that’s giving me more of, um, a surge, definitely not a tingle.”

Enjoying her effect on the redhead, she gave a half-smile before she leaned in for a quick kiss.

“I’m telling you, the tingle was there every time Raia looked at Fred,” the redhead claimed.

“I don’t know…” although the blonde was certain of her girlfriend’s acute observational skills, she was still doubtful about the accuracy of Willow’s interpretations.

“Ok. I can see that I’m not gonna to convince you this way,” the redhead ceded with a sigh. As soon as the words left her mouth, she was suddenly struck by inspiration.

Noticing the change in her girlfriend’s demeanor, Tara suspected ideas were coalescing behind those intelligent green eyes. “Ok, give. What are you planning?” she inquired.

Distracted from her thoughts by her girlfriend’s question, the redhead asked “How do you do that?”

“Magic,” the blonde quipped.

Smirking, Willow responded, “Exactly what I had in mind.”

The confusion on her girlfriend’s face prompted Willow to continue, “Have you heard of the docruempath spell?”

Tara thought for a moment. When the relevance of the spell dawned on her, she answered smiling, “Yes…it’s for Wiccan couples who are at an impasse. It’s to help one person understand the experiences of the other by switching their essences for a day.” With a glint in her blue eyes, she added, “You know, I love it when you do the brain thing. It almost justifies your quirky colored pen fetish.” To dispel the redhead’s small pout caused by her teasing, Tara assuaged her girlfriend with a kiss, nibbling lightly on her lower lip.

They gathered the ingredients together and cleared a space in the living room. They sat facing one another after they lit a brown candle. With one hand, they sprinkled chickweed into the other’s cupped palm, encasing the herb between their hands. Closing their eyes, they recited the spell. A blue glow emanated from one joined hand that traveled along the arm of one woman, through her body, and out to the other, creating a circuit.

Tara felt light-headed as she concentrated on maintaining her deep, steady breaths. A soft tugging sensation was drawing her away from her body. At first, she was unsure whether the spell had worked, but as she opened her eyes, she discovered her body sitting across from her.

Tara called out, “Willow, are you ok?” The question sounded strange to Tara’s ears because it was asked in Willow’s voice.

“Yes, I’m fine. It just took me a little while to orient myself,” Willow responded in Tara’s voice. Furrowing brows in contemplation, she rhetorically asked, “Did my voice just ask me whether I was ok?”

Tara stifled her amusement at her girlfriend’s attempt to wrap her head around the absurdity of that question, suppressing some of the giggles that poured from her.

Willow smiled as she watched herself laughing. A strange sensation rushed through her new body. She found herself mentally grappling against impulses to reach out and touch the body in front of her. Shocked, Willow remarked, “Whoa. Impulsive much?”

Tara smirked. She knew what Willow was feeling. Keeping herself from pouncing on the redhead was something she dealt with everyday. What she didn’t know was Willow’s reaction to her longing. Responding to the blue gaze, small electric currents raced through every nerve ending and zeroed in on a centralized location of the redhead’s body. Mirthfully laughing, Tara retorted, “I wouldn’t talk. Horny much?”

Willow lowered her gaze, embarrassed by Tara’s awareness of her body’s visceral reactions. Tara discerned her discomfort and reached out to caress her chin, nudging Willow’s gaze back up before she softly spoke, “Never be ashamed of what you feel for me. I never am.”

Nodding, Willow absorbed the sentiment behind her girlfriend’s words and leaned forward to place a small kiss on her lips. The effect was instantaneous and potent, sending heady impulses through Willow’s new body as she quickly pulled away.

“I think we need to spend the day apart,” Willow suggested with a tremor in her voice, “I’m, uh, I’m finding it difficult not to touch you, uh, me.”

Reining in her own amorous inclinations, Tara squeaked, “I agree.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wandering past shops, Tara spotted Xander walking toward her on his way to work. Upon seeing Willow’s oldest friend, a pleasantly warm sensation flowed through her new body. Tara was loath to lie to him, but she also dreaded the idea of spending the rest of the day explaining why she was currently possessing Willow’s body. The last thing she wanted was to trigger hyena flashbacks for him.

Hoping Xander hadn’t noticed her, she quickly ducked into the nearest shop. To her dismay, Tara found herself in a couture store. Her first instinct was to bolt, but she resolved to remain there until the coast was clear.

“Willow? What on earth are you doing here?” Cordelia haughtily demanded.

Tara cringed. A chill spread throughout her, erasing her earlier experience of warmth. Praying for a small apocalypse to distract the discourteous brunette, she replied as casually as possible, “Uh nothing. Just, um, browsing.”

“Are you sacrificing your tragic fashion sense? Did you run out of goats?” the ex-cheerleader sarcastically asked.

Incensed at the brunette’s unprovoked attack on her girlfriend, she retorted, “Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. That is never good." In the corner of her eye, Tara descried Xander as he walked past the shop. “Let’s reschedule this vapid tête-à-tête. How does 2pm next never work for you?” she vented her riposte. Without waiting for a reply, Tara turned her back on a gaping Cordelia.

Leaving the store, Tara caught a glimpse of a familiar blonde woman walking by toward the corner deli. A strange tingle radiated from her stomach. ‘No way,’ she thought.

She recalled her prior encounters of the day, and she was certain she hadn’t felt this strange sensation before now with any of the other people. The unexpected tingle sparked Tara’s curiosity. She followed the familiar woman at a distance, observing the blonde greet a brunette already seated at a table. The tingling intensified briefly when the familiar blonde covered her female companion’s hands with her own and leaned close to say something, which elicited a blush from the brunette.

Astonished at her discoveries, Tara mused, ‘Huh. Willow wasn’t imagining her gaydar. Who knew Buffy would resolve this argument?’

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in their bedroom, Willow and Tara lay on their bed, staring at the ceiling and discussing the day’s bizarre events.

“It was strange being Tara for a day,” Willow pondered out loud.

Desiring to elicit details about Willow’s day, Tara inquired, “How so?”

In nearly epigrammatic proportions, Willow averred, “You’ve got moodar.”

“I can sense cows?” Tara asked, feigning innocence.

Ignoring her girlfriend’s deliberately obtuse response, Willow elaborated, “No, you can sense people’s moods. Every time someone spoke to me, uh, you, there was a brief moment where your body mirrored their mood. It was like a small echo of their emotions. Is that how you do it?”

Tara reflected on the question for a moment and replied with a shrug, “I’ve never really thought about how I do it. I mean… I just can gauge how they are feeling when I talk to them.”

“So, how about you? Any gaydar alerts?” Willow asked with piqued interest.

“As a matter of fact, there was one,” Tara replied nonchalantly.

At her girlfriend’s acknowledgement of her gaydar, Willow failed at her attempt to refrain her smug smile. Curious, she pressed, “Anyone I know?”

“Yes. Now that I’ve gotten over the shock of it, I’m wondering why you never mentioned anything to me about Buffy,” Tara admonished.

Willow replied candidly, “Well, it’s never come up, and she’s never said anything to me. She’s been in many different types of relationships. As far as I know, all men. Some were vampires, some not. I just know that there was one guy who was a lesbian.”

“I was just a little surprised…” her voice suddenly trailed off, as her brain finally grasped the last part of Willow’s statement. Startled, she asked, “Wait. What? Who? Male lesbian?”

“Riley,” Willow simply stated.

Pausing for a moment to absorb the befuddling information, Tara replied knowingly, “Oooh.”

“Well, Buffy was out on a lunch date with Faith today,” Tara, revealed, discussing the details of her gaydar experience.

“Faith? The I’m-gonna-introduce-the-business-end-of -Mr.-Pointy-into-that-evil-skank-for-hitting-on-my-Angel Faith?” Willow asked in disbelief.

“Uh huh,” Tara confirmed.

Refraining from the persistent urge to resume the crash position, Willow acknowledged the perturbing information for a minute, uttering sedately, “Aaah.”

As the exhaustion from the day’s discoveries began to take its toll, Tara sighed, “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, me too,” Willow replied, yawning.

“After we switch back tomorrow, we splurge on us time,” Tara suggested drowsily, snuggling up to Willow.

“I think I can be persuaded,” Willow replied, drawing her girlfriend closer as they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Finis

_________________
If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||

That was fun, teddy! Thanks so much for taking part in the challenge!



I've gotta tell ya, THAT just made me howl with laughter! The hustle! HA! That was good!

The "mission impossible" episode of The L Word has always been one of my favorites. So to see a W/T version of that escapade is quite a joy.

I wish I had someone I could switch places with in order to understand the concept of gaydar...cuz, unless the woman is waving a rainbow flag and wearing a tshirt that says, "Hey! Look at me! I'm a lesbian!"...I just have no clue.

Again, fun fun story! I'm so glad you decided to join in and add a contribution to the challenge!

Carleen

_________________

Frivolous Views

Hey Teddy!

Okay, here's my input on this...
First of all, I really enjoyed it. It was very readable on one hand and very well written on the other. The sense of accuracy in measurement is really well done. Even though it was relatively long, it didn't feel like it was going too long, and it wasn't loaded with too many details and explanations [like the fact that it's not clear how they got switched, they just did, which btw, I loved] and the rhythm was overall flowing and fun.

The other main thing that I liked is that they are a few different elements, which mix together harmonically [yeah, I almost wrote hormonally] way, and make the writing full of substance on one hand, and not too crowded on the other, while keeping the elements throughout the whole fic. Or in short, kudos! It was really great reading your public-smutness filled creation! hehe..

Okay, now, substance wise... *takes deep breath*
First of all, yay for including Fred in it all! that entirely rocks! I love Fred, she never fails to make me laugh with her silly lines.. lmao.. she totally rocks, and you really nailed the interaction between them well.

Willow and Tara's interaction was really good too, realistic, with the sense of a couple that is together for a long time.

I loved the L word scene with the operation "finding the gayness" lol. It was awesome and it was really fun seeing the Buffy version of it. The kissing scene was hilarious, also the Anya capitalist superiority cracked me up. I love Anya too.

okay, now for other things that cracked me up in here...


Artichokes? Gee, I wonder why.. lmao..





huh, I just read the whole part in the middle I missed.. hehe..

lmao. that whole part about them teasing each other was so cute.



haha.. that was priceless... so was:



that was entirely hilarious.

It was all really funny and cute. In short, I loved it!

phew, that turned out a little long, didn't it?

anyway, you rock. I wanna see more around, missy! hehe


*hugs*

Mel

_________________
Melissa

Missing me one place search another,
I stop some where waiting for you

Hello all,

Ah, thanks for tolerating my first finished fanfic (technically, the second I’ve written).

[center]Feedback to other contributors[/center]

Justin:

This line made me laugh. I also enjoyed how you worked in the previous challenge into the story.

terra21:

I like how you reworked this Willow line to refer to Tara and Xander because the idea of those two together is hysterical. I found your story to be highly humorous.
That is a brilliant line to end the story.

watson:
I enjoy how you worked the notion of social influence (i.e. a person is unwilling to do something so a more extreme request is made, which makes the original request suddenly viable) into your story.


Ok. I have to admit I was unfortunately taking a sip of water when I read this. Suffice it to say humorous fluid and laughter cliché ensued.

wiccanbotanist:
I really liked the threat to switch Dawn and Anya. I enjoy my fun new naughty definition for “tongue lashing.”

hermitfish:
Your story was a very adorable and unique twist.

I thought this line was very funny.

Artemis:
I’m impressed you were able to incorporate not only aspects from the previous challenge but from this challenge, too. The Chance character is absolutely hysterical especially the self-narrations to theoretical cameras.*still chuckling* And, the interpretative dance part…priceless. I really like the Anya inventor character in your Smut Bunny stories. Maybe she can turn an X frame into gliders for the gals?

tarawhipped:
I really enjoyed how you took a very angsty scene from BTVS and gave it a humorous spin. Your dialogue is as always very impressive.

[center]Feedback replies[/center]

Carleen:
I’m glad you enjoyed “the hustle” scene. Writing Anya’s character and actions is probably the most fun. For some reason, when I read this challenge and conference calls needed to be used, the first thing I thought about was the mission impossible episode of L Word.

My gaydar is horrible. Thank god my wife is a lesbian (um, when I met her I didn't know until 2 months later when I kissed her...even then I wasn't sure until she kissed back).

Melissa:
Thank you so much for the critique. I was worried if it was going a little too long. I tried to link the different aspects and make it flow without being haphazard in my plot. I’m glad you enjoyed the public smuttiness. It’s really the first erotic scene I’ve ever attempted to write.

Fred is a fun character. Unfortunately, I don’t have a really good “feel” of her so many of the lines were borrowed from the Angel with the exception of the physics-speak.

I’m glad you like my silly sense of humor.


Cheers,
teddy

_________________
If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||

Hi. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all the work all the writers (and Carleen) have put into their fics. I have been so busy that I'm sorry I haven't managed to read and comment on all of them. I'm even planning a addition to this thread in my head but need the time to write. Thank you and I'm sorry that I haven't managed feedback yet.

ETA:
But I've read a few more:
hermitfish Awww. How wonderful. Although I can't understand why Buffy and Angel would think that Willow and Tara would need to change places for the day. But what do you expect from them? Very cute and well done.

tarawhipped - Lol about the breast fight. Also that they both found ways to be so productive in each other's bodies. Although I'm not sure why the other Scoobies were so disturbed about it. I mean they were both happy and not using performance enhancing (or boob enhancing) drugs so Giles could just lay off. Well done.

_________________
Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Okay, here goes nothing…This whole scene is Smut, start to finish—mostly R but bordering on NC-17 (mild B/D, mostly suggested).. I’ll leave it to you fine Kittens to decide if I bent the rules or took too many “creative” liberties with the challenge.

Author Patches

Disclaimer I don’t own these lovely ladies, I’m just trying to make their lives a little more interesting, and receive no money for my efforts.

Feedback Uh, huh—yup, yup, yup, definitely and pretty please with sugar and chocolate coating???? In the thread, or by PM, if you wish.



For the past five months, I’ve been taking a workshop writing course and everyone in the class is straight, so some of the ‘juicier’ bits of my writing have stagnated. I just can’t bring myself to read lesbo smut to them; in fact, I’ve found that the inhibitions in my writing have gone way, way up, so this is my attempt to break that horrible cycle and get back to business, so to speak. Also, it’s the first time I’ve tried writing in present tense. Please forgive if I make the occasional trip into past tense? And I’ve tried to write as the omniscient narrator, without slipping into character P.O.V. I wrote this last night and yesterday, so it might be a little rough in spots: Editing = censoring, unfortunately.

The idea to break out of my self-imposed puritanical prison arose from the workshopping I’ve been doing with Debra (JustSkipIt). And so, inspired by, but not yet attaining the heights and liberation of Please: The Series I give you:

The Goddess’s Bond.


Now having fulfilled their pledge to the Goddess and lived a day as the other, can they truly bond. The secret is theirs and theirs alone: ‘Know thy Lover, her wants and needs, her desires and fears, know her past and thou shalt always be her present,’ the Goddess had commanded. Together they had chanted, ‘From the blood of the moon on this night, I take you to my heart and to my soul, to live and breathe as I have lived and breathed, and to know me as no other can and no other will, until the morrow when the Goddess’ light shines upon us and our souls entwined for eternity return our beings to our own breath.’ And so it is that the light of the Goddess shines upon them, their promise fulfilled.

“Oh Willow,” Tara says, gazing into her lover’s the emerald coloured eyes, “I wish y-you could know how good this feels.” She reaches between her legs and takes Willows hand, pressing it against her swollen clit. “I want you to know what it’s like to have you inside, like this.”

As Willow’s long slender fingers tease Tara open, the room fills with azure streaks; ozone and heady musk, and the delicious aroma of sex permeate the hot summer night air. “God, y-y-yes Willow, like that.” Tara spreads her legs wide and presses her hips to meet her lover’s hand. “I want all of you, deep inside me.”

“Tara,” Willow whispers her love’s name like a sacred promise. She kneels and sweeps her long red hair over Tara’s body, alternating teasing wisps and hot kisses on her lover’s erect nipples; wet lips suck at the rigid nubs, and delightful moans escape Tara’s lips. With tender strokes, their entwined fingers expand and contract, circle, press deep and withdraw. Tara’s hips rock, matching the cadence of Willow’s rhythm.


Tara feels Willow’s hot slick body against her thigh. With each press into the yielding flesh, their arousal grows. Hot breath, rapid pants of delicious ecstasy escape Willow’s lips, “Baby, you’re so tight against me, I love you Tara, you make me complete, Goddess you’re so open, waiting for me, tell me Baby, tell me, you’re like ice cream dripping down my fingers on a hot day, tell me when…”

Tara withdraws her hand and stretches her arms back over her head, undulating against Willow’s ceaseless pressure, arching her back squirming, the motion giggles her soft full breasts. “Touch them, Willow, p-please…the anticipation Willow, make me come…touch them. I want you between my legs, y-your hard nipples against my lips, sliding inside me, while y-your hands paint my breasts with my wet. I can smell how bad y-you want it…t-taste surrender.”

Breathless, Willow eases her hand deep inside Tara, stretching her fingers wide and curling them to cup the sweet juices flowing down her wrist, moaning, as Tara gasps and pleads. “Goddess Willow!” Tara cries as the source of her pleasure retreats from her inner sanctum.

Passion’s nectar fills her hand, and kneeling between the yielding woman’s legs Willow spreads the succulent liquid over her own body, adding her own glistening wetness to the mix. Leaning over her love, Willow grabs Tara’s breasts, and kneads them with strong hands, pinching and squeezing, watching Tara’s body move for her, yield and beg for release. Willow cups Tara’s ample breasts in her hands, exposing only the dark, puckered areola. A sliver of moonlight falls across the women, the blessing is complete.

Tara slides her hands under the pillow and feels the cold steel chain against her hot skin. Concentrating, she binds a single cuff around her left wrist, checking the long metal chain is wrapped around the thick headboard’s iron spindle. She can feel Willow’s hot breath against her stomach, taut nipple pressing into her open, dripping core. She wills herself not to come against her lover. Not until you’ve been turned Willow.

With fluid motion, Tara wraps her long legs around Willow’s body, and snapping the padded cuff around the redhead’s slender wrist, flips the waif-like woman to her back. “Two words, Willow,” Tara says, “Yellow and Red. Do y-you understand?”

Wide-eyed, Willow nods.

“We are bound t-together,” Tara says as she slides her form atop the startled woman. “You know my desires and I know y-yours.” Willow attempts to speak, but the demanding press of Tara’s lips against her own silences her. Caught in passion’s care, Willow abandons herself to her lover’s will. Tara’s nails trail over Willow’s body, moving with maddening slowness up her inner thigh. With a look, Willow pleads for fulfilment. Tara smiles and stares intently into Willows eyes as she enters her, setting the tone and rhythm, enjoying the feel of this beautiful woman chained to her.

Without warning, Tara eases away from Willow, pausing to run her wet fingertips over Willow’s mouth. To the pleading look, Tara replies, “Paths Diverged/Divulged: Homoeroticism in Origin’s On First P-principals, remember Sweetie? We promised to help Faith with her P-patristic course? Now, y-you may speak, but only on matters of faith. Am I understood?”

Willow chuckles at the pun, nods, but a crease settles along her brow.

“Conference call, my love. I’m going to make love to y-you while we talk with Faith. Shouldn’t t-take more than an hour.” Tara reaches for the phone and dials Faith’s house line. A moment later, Willow’s cell rings. “Remember Sweetie, yellow or red.”

Willow swallows, hard and answers the phone, as Tara slides the tip of her baby finger inside and watches her lover closely.

“Hey Red. Hey Tara,” the raspy voice says. “You guys’r ace for helping me.”

And so begins the tease. While Willow explains the philosophical exegesis and the concepts of the soul’s ascent, her own soul moves to ward the apex of enlightenment: pure ecstasy. At several points, Faith interrupts the redhead’s babble, “Yo, Red, waz’up with the heavy breathing? You work’n out or something? Man, all this sittin’ on my ass studyin’, maybe I oughta come with you.”

Tara covers the receiver and buries her face in the pillow to suppress her laughter.

“NO! No, really, no Faith, I’ll be so totally done by then,” Willow says, smothering a groan with her arm as Tara’s knuckles press in and tease her. “Yes!” she says to the glorious sensations coursing through her body. “I mean, no, Faith, really. You know me all with the heavy work outs and getting in shape, gotta keep that blood pumping, get the old ticker going. Oh, ya, ya, that yes, it’s um yes, Augustine’s great work, Confessions is influence by the Manichean heresy. The duality of light and dark, and the soul’s ascent.”

“Faith,” says Tara, “use this quote from Augustine. Though she says the words into the phone, they are meant for one person and one person alone, her Willow: ‘I have learned to love you late, Beauty at once so ancient and so new! I have learned to love you late! You were within me, and I was in the world outside myself. I searched for you outside myself and, disfigured as I was, I fell upon the lovely things of your creation. You were with me, but I was not with you. The beautiful things of this world kept me far from you and yet, if they had not been in you, they would have had no being at all. You called me; you cried aloud to me; you broke my barrier of deafness. You shone upon me; your radiance enveloped me; you put my blindness to flight. You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I gasp for your sweet odour. I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am inflamed with love of your peace.’” Gasping, Tara presses deep inside he lover.

“Great guys. You rock. I’m soo gonna ace this paper. Gotta spit and rattle some chains of my own…an let you get back to your workout,” the dark Slayer says with a laugh. “Later,” and hangs up.

“Oh, Goddess! Willow. Feel it, my love. Y-yes, Sweetie that’s it,” Tara says looking up into Willow’s eyes, “know everything I f-feel when you take me like this. Y-you have lived the day in my body, now know with my understanding Willow, search memory and feel with y-your own body and soul, tied together in body as we are tied together by the Goddess in eternity.” Tara pulls the chain binding them together to grasp Willow’s hand then slowly drags the tip of her tongue over and around Willow’s hot swollen clit, and listens contently to her lover crying out her name in rapture. Wave upon wave, like the rolling seas before a storm, Willow undulated in exploding wetness around her love’s hand and collapses in a flood of tears and fulfilment.

They lay together, sweaty and love glistened bodies entwine as hearts beats in syncopation then slow to a perfect cadence while the Goddess’s perfect light shine bright in the night sky.

“Sweetie?” Tara asks.

“Roll me over, dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians, well just one lesbian, specifically, I mean just you, not that there’s any other lesbian, other than you. Except of course for me, but…that would mean dipping and doing myself…” her voice trails off.

“I w-would be okay with that too,” Tara says, eyebrow raising and lips curling into a mischievous smile. “You are so beautiful, Willow. I l-love you so much it makes me want to cry.”

Willow reaches over hear head and grasps the only remaining pillow on the bed, then hears the plink of metal on metal skittering with the fall of gravity. “Baby?” she says, softly wiping Tara’s sweaty brow, the chain rattling against the heavy iron spindle in the headboard. “Uh, Baby? Did you tape the key to these,” she shows her wrist, “to the headboard under the pillow?”

“Umm, ya. Why?” Tara says, lazily stroking Willow’s breasts.

“Ohh, there’s a spare key, right? Cause, a spare key is always nearby.”

“Of course, Willow. It’s in the night table.”

“No-no-no-no, I mean a spare-spare key, not the spare key in the night stand that I pushed out of the way when I was sorta kneeling beside the bed and it was in my way so I gave it a shove so I could get a better spot while I was going down on you earlier and now it’s moved and facing the wrong direction, that spare key that isn’t,” Willow gulps looking over at the night table she knows that to reach several of the laws of physics and a few bones might have to be compromised.

“Y-you mean the night table with the s-spell book that’s skidded across the floor? T-that n-night table?” Tara looks at the piece of furniture. “Oh, gracious. Where did the key fall?”

“Under the bed, uhm, I think,” the redhead replies.

The two women alternately try to reach around bins and boxes under the bed to get the key. Letting out a loud sneeze, Tara pronounces the situation hopeless.

“I see that l-look, Willow. In bed, we are s-spell free. It’s a p-promise we made, and this hardly constitutes a l-life threatening situation,” Tara says knitting her brows, contemplating.

The two women look at one another and together holler, “BUFFY!”

The Slayer races upstairs, “Will? Tara?”

“In here, Buffy,” Willow shouts as she hears her friend approaching down the hallway.

The door bursts open and the young Slayer charges in, stake in hand.

“Don’t even say a word, Buffy. Just hand us the key. It’s in the night table over there. And before you ask, the other key is under the bed. It had an unfortunate accident and the dust dinos are taking good care of it, so please just pretend this isn’t happening and you’re not standing there staring at our naked, chained bodies…just be a friend, you’re a good friend, Buffy, best pals, life long buddies…just please hand us the key?”
Buffy takes in the room with one fell sweep and doubles over laughing. Tears start to form and the Slayer holds her side, “Now that’s what I call an unbreakable bond.”

Tara cannot contain her laughter and the two women’s infectious rumbling spread to Willow.

“I dunno, Will,” says the Slayer. Taking the key from the night table, she dangles it enticingly close. “What’d’ll ya give me for it?”

“BUFFY!” Willow exclaims through fits of embarrassed laughter.

“That must’a been some study session you had with Faith—”

“Buffy, please!” Willow begs.

“Nothing like those school days memories in the making, eh girls? But back to, what-oh-what is this little key worth, ladies? There’s some yummy rocky road ice cream in the freezer, and those dishes…you know, I sure could use a week off.” An evil grin spreads over Buffy’s face, “What’da’ya, tink?”

“Deal. Now, p-please, Buffy, may we have the key?” Tara asks with a knowing wink.

Buffy throws the key on the foot of the bed and, still chuckling, walks out of the room.

Willow reaches for the key, but Tara stills her. “Y-you don’t think this night is over, do you Sweetie,” the blond says salaciously. “T-that was just a t-taste. In fact, t-that’s what I t-think I’m going to do r-right now.”
Tara begins to kiss her way up Willow’s legs, “Grab the headboard, Sweetie and find out just how t-thirsty I am. Love, the Goddess’s bond, now and for—”

“Eternity,” Willow finishes with a moan, as Tara captures the nectar from her dripping core.

The End.

Patches - Consider that read in a room full of the world. Seriously, you just published that on the Internet! Cool huh?

It read quite lyrically, almost like chanting or singing. I must admit that in the beginning, I had trouble following the exact: who's doing what with/to/from who but then I just let it flow over me and that's when it became easier and smoother. The conversation with Faith was well done such that it didn't seem to me to be inappropriate but was hot nonetheless. Of course the key dropped! Buffy was a riot. Very well done and go you!

_________________
Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Hey Patches,

A really unique & creative spin. The Buffy resolution. Yikes. Major embarassment.

Cheers,
teddy

_________________
If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||

Title – Feeling Kicks

Author – JustSkipIt

Pairing – Who do you think? (W/T of course)

Feedback – Oh yes.

Spoilers–None

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of these characters I’m making no money from this fiction and intend no copyright infringement.

Note - It took me a while but I had to add something to this challenge. To all the authors who have written pieces, I really appreciate them. I have not had the time to read and comment on all of them yet but thank you so much. I will get to them when life becomes a little more sedate (like that happens).

Note 2 – Yes, there are links to things you can buy. Why? I believe in them so I linked them.

Note 3 – Iby is short for Itsy bitsy teeny tiney baaaaaby.

Note 4 – Have I said thanks to Carleen? If not, thanks, Carleen.


Willow woke with a groan and attempted to roll over. No go. No rolling. She attempted to roll the other way, flinging her hand out but not only failing to roll over but finding the bed empty, a rumpled and warm space on the bed the only proof of her wife’s existence. “Hi, sweetie.” Tara walked in the door with a tray in front of her.

Willow started at the sight of herself coming through the door and the sound of her own voice calling her sweetie. “That’s very strange. I mean I know we planned this and I wanted to feel what this was like and it was my idea but now I’m not so sure. I mean you’re standing there with a tray with what I’m sure is a truly sumptuous repast while I lay here unable to even sit up by myself. I’m not sure I got the best part of this deal at all.”

The redhead set down the tray on the nightstand and reached over to offer her hand to her lover. “Grab my hand and roll this way,” she instructed. Willow did as told and then gently swung her legs over the side of the bed as she’d seen Tara do for the past few months.

“God, I really need to pee.” Willow groaned as the intense realization of her need hit her.

“You don’t say?”

“Getting up from the toilet has never been such an adventure.” Willow sat against the pillows Tara had piled against the headboard and scowled at her plate upon her return. “Where are my pancakes?”

“No pancakes in this tummy.” Tara winked as she patted her lover’s round belly.

Willow grumbled but took a bite of her cereal and fruit looking covetously at Tara’s stack of blueberry pancakes. “Please tell me this coffee has caffeine.”

“Ok. This coffee has caffeine.” Tara handed her the cup.

“Liar.” She took a sip from her favorite mug. “This is going to be the longest Two Days of my life.” She had barely set down the mug when she shouted in surprise. “What the…?” A smile immediately spread across her face and she grabbed Tara’s hand, not caring that it was halfway to the redhead’s mouth and loaded with a huge bite of pancakes and syrup. Nonetheless she grabbed the hand and placed it on her stomach. “Do you feel that?”

Tara smiled and suddenly Willow realized that she wouldn’t be seeing the half-smile she was so used to all day. “That’s Iby kicking. She/he is especially active in the morning and around mid-afternoon.” She smiled at the redhead. “Also, I’m not sure calling it Two Days is accurate.”

“It feels really funny.” Willow took another bite of her cereal and drank the coffee, missing the sugar and caffeine a little less as the intermittent kicks continued. “Sunset last night to sunset tonight. That’s two days.” Tara smiled and shrugged at her lover’s unique logic.

“Are these pancakes always this good? I mean because this may be the best pancake I’ve ever had. And this syrup. Goddess it’s wonderful. And this coffee. Wow. I mean wow. No wonder you fell in love with me.” Tara stopped only to plow another bite into her mouth.

“Amazing,” Willow said with a smile. “First off, you take over my body for a day and right away you’re babbling like me. Second don’t rub it in about the sugar and the caffeine.” She leaned over as gracefully as she could and nibbled at her lover’s neck. “And third, we didn’t even have a kitchen so I definitely did not fall in love with your pancakes.” She smiled a half-smile and teased. “I would say what I fell in love with but I don’t want the baby to hear.”

Before Tara could respond the phone rang. She picked it up and answered. “Hey Wills,” Xander said quickly.

“Hi Xander,” Tara said back. She nodded as Willow motioned that she was going to take a shower and watched the girl slowly get up from the bed and walk flat-footed across the floor.

“Are you sure it’s ok for me to come this afternoon? Because if you think it’s more a woman thing or you’ll be talking about I don’t know like birthing or the placenta or water breaking maybe I should go have a beer with Spike?”

“Xander, you are my best friend and I definitely want you here.”

“Ok, Willow. Say hi to Anya and tell her I’ll bring the present when I get there.”

“Ok,” Tara said with a sudden panic. She set down the phone and Turned to look at the clock. 9:07. Christ on a popsickle stick. I’ve been Willow for 9 hours and I’m swearing like a sailor in my head. Anya will be here in 23 minutes. She stood up from the bed and cleared away the breakfast dishes. Then thinking about how easily she had done that she twirled a few times in the room enjoying her own gracefulness.

In the meantime Willow was in the shower soaping her large stomach over and over. She tried to shave and found it nearly impossible to do without falling over, cutting off a leg, or screaming for help so she gave up. If Tara wanted her legs shaved, she could do it tomorrow. She was conscientious enough to be using the prenatal oil, said to reduce stretch marks, on her stomach when the shower stall door opened. “Mmm. A shower with my honey.” She said looking at her own body and feeling somewhat less turned on that she would have been by Tara’s.

“9:10, Baby,” Tara said as she stepped into the shower. “Thanks for remembering to use the oil.”

“No problem. I didn’t shave though. Maybe I can just wear those yoga pants you have?”

“That’s fine. Anya will be here in like 18 minutes.”

“Do you think she’ll notice?” Willow asked as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in Tara’s towel. She dried off and stood in front of the mirror. “I never noticed your hair being so thick before.”

“It’s not usually that thick. And I don’t know if she’ll notice. If anyone will it will be her but this was the only full moon before the due date.”

“Oh,” the blonde quickly said, “I wasn’t doubting our decision. This is great. I’m getting to feel what our baby feels like. It’s great. Wonderful.” She stopped for a minute. “I think I need to sit down.” Tara giggled as Willow left the bathroom.

“Are you ok?”

“Fine!” A few seconds later the blonde dashed into the room and pulled open the door to the water closet. A rather green gilled Willow emerged from the small room a few minutes later and immediately brushed her teeth. “Didn’t any one ever tell you and Iby that you’re only supposed to have morning sickness the first trimester?”

“We didn’t get the memo, lover. You may want to eat some crackers.” Tara started pulling on an old pair of Willow’s jeans and a stained T-shirt. The doorbell rang and she walked over to kiss Willow before going downstairs and answering the door.

“I’ve been standing out here for 47 seconds, Willow,” the ex-demon said as she stepped into the house.

Tara looked down and saw a milk crate with paint brushes and paints and leaned over to pick them up and carry them inside.

“What are you so happy about? You look like you’ve never carried paint stuff before.”

“I’m just really excited about the day,” Tara said with a smile. “I just wish Dawnie was coming home.”

“Well she’s all Miss these are my School Days and I’m studying so hard and I’ll never be an engineer if I don’t make the best grades.” Anya took the steps easily and Tara continued appreciating her ability to do the same. They were met at the top of the stairs by a pregnant Tara. “You look like hell,” Anya said. “And you shouldn’t be any where around the paint. You don’t want a baby with two heads.”

“Definitely not,” Willow agreed sardonically.

“Really. I’ve seen two-headed babies and it never works out well.”

“I’m sure it doesn’t.” Tara and Willow kissed before Willow went slowly and carefully down the stairs.

“This is a real challenge.”

“You’ve been saying that for months.”

Once in the nursery to be, Anya closed the door behind herself and Tara. And began pulling the supplies from the box. “I’m surprised that you decided to do this. What with the whole Jewish heritage thing and it being bad luck.”

Tara picked up a pencil from the box and turned toward the wall to begin a sketch. “Well we decided we wanted to have it ready when the baby arrives.”

“When is that again?” Anya started her own series of sketches on the opposite wall. “Are these ok?”

Tara glanced over to note the fairies the ex-demon was currently sketching. Both witches had lobbied for letters or normal animals or even trains but Anya had insisted that as nursery coordinator (a self-appointed and unpaid position) she could determine the theme. So the theme was protection for the baby. Neither Tara nor Willow had the heart to tell the blonde that they didn’t intend for the baby to sleep in the nursery—that it was just for toys, clothes, and books. Finishing the figures, Tara pulled over a chair and painted a hand of G-d or hand of Lilith over the space where the crib would be placed.

“May 3,” Tara said answering Anya’s earlier question about the baby’s due date. “I think we can start painting.” She pulled out a paintbrush and tested the bristles before shaking and opening a can of paint. Anya mirrored her action and the two women began filling in the bright decorations.

“Is she still barfing every morning? Because I think that would get very very tiring. I actually got called once by a woman who wanted vengeance on her baby for her morning sickness. I wouldn’t grant it but I did get her to make a wish against her husband.” She sighed as if remembering the good old days. “Of course he wasn’t the father anyway but a job is a job.”

“Evisceration?”

“Construction accident: castration.” The ex-demon looked quite pleased with herself as she assessed the fairy she had just finished painting and Tara couldn’t tell if the look was from her painting or vengeance. “Very nice painting, Willow.”

“Thanks.”

Anya set down the paintbrush and announced she was going to the bathroom. “I’ll just close the door so no fumes get near your wife and child.” Although Anya’s tone was a bit strange, Tara appreciated the ex-demon’s use of the term wife. She seemed to be the only Scooby who really got the entire wedding=marriage=wife equation. The rest of them were still talking about Willow or Tara’s girlfriend or perhaps partner if they were particularly enlightened.

By the time the ex-demon returned to the room she found Willow inside putting the finishing touches on the last figure. “Willow is ordering pizza.”

“Is it lunch time already?” Tara asked. She crinkled up her brow and looked at the ex-demon.

Anya helped close up the paint cans and waved her hand at the nursery walls. “First, you called Dawn Dawnie which Willow never does. Second, Willow could never paint this well. Third, Tara is sitting downstairs swiveling back and forth between two computers typing gibberish on both of them.”

“She wanted to see what it was like,” Tara explained. She finished the paint cans and stacked them in the crate. “You know. Our baby inside her.”

“I was pregnant once.”

Tara was shocked at Anya’s announcement. “Really?”

“Well not really. I mean I thought I was pregnant but really I just had food poisoning. But it’s nearly the same thing.” She looked at the crate and took it from Tara. “I’ll carry this since you are pregnant.”

Tara laughed and thanked Anya before they went downstairs to eat the pizza and salad for lunch. After lunch, Anya departed with the promise that she would see them in a few hours.

“How are you feeling?” Tara wrapped her arms around her wife’s body, caressing her stomach.

“Tired mostly,” Willow explained. “And very excited. I mean I keep feeling Iby move inside me. So that’s way cool.”

“We could go lay down.” Tara extended her hand and smiled in a way that hinted she might not be thinking just of sleep. Willow smiled back and took her wife’s hand.

A few hours later the two women had managed to sleep and shower and enjoy some other activities although not in that order. Tara was straightening the house slightly when the doorbell rang. As soon as Tara pulled the door open, Joyce walked in. “I’m so sorry girls. I should have been here a half hour ago. Actually this should have been at our house but with the construction...”

“We understand, completely,” Tara assured the Scooby Gang’s surrogate mother.

Buffy pushed through the doorway a moment later carrying a huge platter of food. “Turns out a Chaos demon is accurately named.”

“So we’ve heard,” Willow replied drolly.

“Shouldn’t you be sitting down.” Buffy took the round blonde by the elbow and led her over to the sofa. It was all Willow could do to keep the Slayer from pushing her onto the soft surface, a surface which Willow had observed Tara fighting for a month and knew she wouldn’t be able to get up from. Through her determination, she managed to make it to a chair instead.

With Giles in England, Faith in LA helping Angel prevent another apocalypse, and Dawn at UCLA, the crowd was rather light. Joyce had planned the shower early so that Buffy could patrol without having to leave early so by 4:30 nearly everyone had arrived. Upon her arrival, Anya opened the door and strode inside. “I was already here once today so I don’t have to knock when I return.”

“Do you usually knock?” Joyce seemed shocked that the ex-demon ever knocked as it seemed she never did at the Summers home.

“Sometimes,” Xander puffed from the porch where he was struggling with a huge wrapped present on a dolly. The second time he banged into the doorjamb, this time cursing a storm as he hit his hand on the solid wood, Buffy jumped up and helped him get the present into the room. “Thank you,” he told the slayer before turning to Joyce. “Do we have a bottle of water?” He took it and drank deeply.

Before the carpenter could sit down there was a knock at the door. Xander answered the door to find Clem standing on the porch. “Hi all!”

“Hi, Clem,” Willow said warmly to the demon.

“Spike sent me to bring a present,” he explained as he handed over a wad of bills.

“Really went all out didn’t he?” Buffy said with a roll of her eyes.

“He said he didn’t know what to get but that kids cost a lot. Also that he didn’t think this was the place for him.”

“See,” Xander argued, “not for men. Showers should just be for girly girls.”

“Oh. Not because of the women and men. Because it’s daylight.” Clem came inside and took a seat reaching his hand into a bowl of Cheetos and taking a large handful. “Where should I put my present?” Joyce took the present and added it to the pile in the corner.

After a while spent eating the sandwiches and listening to Anya regale how finger sandwiches got their name, a story to which Clem agreed, the group got down to playing games. Much to Xander’s horror, the games involved tasting different baby foods and diapering a doll as quickly as possible. Clem pleaded his floppy disability and that his species’ young never wore diapers so it was hardly a skill he needed.

Finally it was time to open presents. Willow pulled out her cell phone to Buffy’s surprise. “Tara, you are setting up the call? I thought Willow was the one who understood how to do the conference call?”

“Oh. Well she explained how to do it to me so I’m going to set it up,” Willow lamely explained. She hooked her phone into the speaker and then hit a speed dial button.

“Hello!” Dawn’s voice came through the speaker clearly and she was greeted by a chorus of hellos.

“Ok, Dawn,” Tara’s voice said, “Hold on while I try to get Giles too.”

“Why is Tara setting up the call?” Dawnie could be heard asking. Ignoring the question, Willow hit another series of buttons and moments later Giles’s sleepy voice could be heard through the speaker.

“Is sleep all you ever do there?” Buffy teased.

“It’s gone 2:00 in the morning.” Giles considered for a moment before adding, “But I wouldn’t want to miss your shower entirely. How are you feeling, Tara?”

“Fine. Fine. Finey McFine,” Willow answered. “Of course you have to be used to a constantly full bladder and nausea and feeling like a beached whale and the kicking all day long which is actually the best part.”

“Oh well, yes, I’m quite sure.”

“Which presents should we um open first?” Tara answered before her lover could continue babbling about constipation or hemorrhoids.

“Mine, mine, mine,” the voice from the speaker cheered.

“Ok, Dawnie,” Willow answered smiling smugly at Tara. Someone handed them a box with pink wrapping and a pink large bow. The witches tore the wrapping from the package and opened it.

“Oh, how cute!”

“Thanks for the adorable dresses, Dawn,” Tara said. “But what if it’s a boy?”

“Yeah. You know we’re not dressing a boy in pink frilly dresses right?”

“Look in the envelope,” Dawn said.

“Oh look.” Tara held up the picture of a sailor suit complete with hat and sailboat.

“I put the receipt in there so you can trade it in if it’s a boy.”

“Thanks.” Willow set the box aside and picked up the next box.

She shook it and expressed her surprise at how heavy whatever was inside was. “Who is this from?”

Joyce looked over Tara’s shoulder to see which present she was opening. “Oh that’s from Faith. She said sorry she missed the party.”

“I think another apocalypse takes precedence,” Willow assured the group. She tore the wrapping and pulled out a present that made her gasp in surprise. “It’s a…”

“Yeah,” Tara said with a puzzled look on her face.

“It’s leather pants and a vest,” Buffy said as the witches passed the box around.

“For a baby?” Giles asked. “Where ever did she get it?”

“She had it specially made,” Anya contributed. “She told me about it. Do you know how hard it is to find leather clothes for a newborn?”

“I wonder why?” Joyce said drolly.

Tara and Willow looked at each other with a mixture of shock, surprise, and horror on their faces. “It’s really um unique.”

“Here’s mine. It’s worth quite a bit of money so you should open it next.” Anya handed the girls an envelope.

“A gift certificate for the Magic Box,” Willow explained as she opened the envelope.

Giles’s voice could again be heard. “How generous of you.”

“I paid for it Mr. Silent partner,” Anya called at the speaker. “Surely any child from the two of you will be a witch and be born on the hell mouth. It’s going to need it.”

“Here’s Giles’s present.” Joyce handed them another box.

Willow opened the next box and reached inside to look at the contents. “Thanks, Giles.” Having gotten them an assortment of cloth diapering supplies it was quite obvious that he had shopped off their online registry.

Buffy handed them a small package. They opened it to find a mayawrap sling inside. “Thanks, Buffy. We really wanted the sling before we have the baby.”

“Sure,” the Slayer said. She reached over and picked up the sling and showed everyone the pocket near the end of the tail. “And look you keep stakes, a cross, holy water or whatever you need handy.”

“Sure, that’s how they publicize this one,” Xander agreed.

“Thanks, Buffy.”

“Mine next.” Clem handed over his package.

“Lost, the DVD!” Willow expressed her excitement at finally seeing the episodes the Tivo had failed to record not to mention the lost footage and Easter eggs.

“I don’t get what’s so great about this show,” Dawn offered.

“Please: The Series is the best thing to happen to prime time television since that vampire thing went off the air.”

“It was good,” Buffy agreed.

“Thank you,” Tara told him.

“Why don’t you open mine next and Xander’s last?” Joyce handed over a heaver box ensuring that she handed it to Tara rather than Willow.

Tara enjoyed once again getting to hold the heavy box and opened it to find an assortment of books inside. “Oh these are great: The Sears Parenting Book, The Breastfeeding Book, and some books for the baby. Thank you Joyce.” She leaned over and hugged the woman.

“My turn!” Xander stood up and walked over to the large item in the hallway. Tara helped Willow from the chair and the two witches tore the paper eagerly. Both girls quickly wrapped the carpenter in a tight hug. “Air! Air! Breathing getting to be an issue,” he pleaded. As Willow started to back up he grabbed her arm. “Wait a minute. Your stomach kicked me. Can I feel it again?” Two witches looked at each other again before nodding. Willow took his hand and laid it on her stomach. His face lit up in a grin as he felt the baby kick again.

As the lifelong best friends bonded over the moment, Tara pulled open the doors of the piece of furniture. “Look. We can hang clothes on this side and this side has drawers. This is so wonderful, Xander.”

The gang came over to look, hearing Dawn’s voice through the speaker. “Sure you all get to open the drawers but I can’t see a thing.”

“Me neither,” Giles yawned.

“I’ll go cut them off,” Buffy offered. Everyone shouted their goodbyes and Willow and Tara repeated their thank yous. After she hit the button the house was filled with only the sound of the doors and drawers on the armoire opening and closing over and over.

“Well, I think I’ll get going,” Clem said happily. After everyone had given him a hug, he waved and left.

Joyce went to clean up the kitchen and Anya announced that she was ready to leave. “Come on Buffster, let’s put my creation in the nursery.” Xander got on one side of the piece of furniture and Buffy on the other. They pushed and pulled and grunted their way until they reached the top.

“How are you doing?” Tara called up the stairs.

“Fine.”

“You don’t sound like you’re doing fine.”

“Well,” Xander explained, “it’s kind of a little stuck.”

“Stuck how?” Willow questioned.

“Um… well it’s kind of a tight fit around this corner. Buffy can’t fit at that end at the same time I’m on this end.”

“Are you ok, Buffy?”

“Yeah.” Buffy’s voice didn’t sound so sure. “I need to get where Xander is though. Can I jump over the railing here?” Willow moved back to see Buffy as she was kind of crouched under the leaning furniture. Tara quickly moved the coffee table out of the way; she didn’t want her living room to look like Joyce and Buffy’s.

Buffy wiggled sideways to get out from under the armoire and jump down to the first story before running back up the stairs to relieve Xander. Once he was out of the way, she lifted the piece of furniture a few inches and easily maneuvered it onto the landing. Seeing that there was no way for Xander to get on the other side, she then carried it the rest of the way into the nursery. Xander and Tara then went upstairs, helping Willow who ascended more slowly.

“Right there,” Willow directed Buffy who was now assisted by Xander. Neither Buffy nor Xander noticed the green glow appearing in the eyes of both witches and lasting a second or two. They shared a secret smile before kissing.

“We should leave them.”

“Or we could stay if they are going to make out.”

“Xander Harris.” Anya shouted up the stairs. “You better not be ogling them.”

“Maybe it is time to go.” The foursome descended the stairs with Tara going carefully. At the door everyone hugged and the witches thanked Joyce for hosting the shower.

Once they had left Willow took her lover’s hand. “I can’t believe how that felt to have our baby in side me.”

“Wonderful isn’t it?” The kiss following the agreement was quite passionate and soon led to their ascent of the stairs and a quite busy evening and night.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Oh, that was such a sweet story Debra.



The imagery of this alone put me in a fit of giggles.

and

I love Anya-isms.

Thank you for the heartwarming story.
teddy

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If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||

Debra,

To (mis)quote my friend mary (meretricious) Shadow & Sunlight and Feeling Kicks are so different it's almost schizophrenic. Then again, it only shows how many different styles and genres our Elvis is capable of

That was soooo sweet. What makes the story even sweeter is the massive amount of personal experience you have put into this story, obviously something close to your own heart. The love for your son, the baby growing in your wife's belly, shines through. You've written a warm and realistic story, and the elements of the challenge seemed almost not there.

Interesting that the body switch comes with "personality" -- Tara in Willow's body finding a new liking for pancakes, or babbling away. Perhaps it's my imagination but Willow in Tara's body was more sedate?

Anya was so spot on, noticing the small things that indicated the switch. And her own "pregnancy",

I almost dropped my cup when I read that Really? I've had food poisoning many times but never pregnant, I'm sure being pregnant is a lot more involved and giving birth more painful. Just like the other Scoobies for not noticing.

Now I just gotta say this: Iby as a nickname is so cute. "bitsy teeny tiney baaaaaby" awwwwww . And the presents were so great (well, except the leather from Faith, cos ... well nothing wrong but isn't it a waste, cos the baby will outgrow the outfit very quickly). I don't know if you have it in the US, but my sis swears by her hippychick which is a padded seat you strap around your hips so you can carry the baby without too much strain to your back. My sis used it till my niece was 3 years old and it's a godsend when she started becoming a toddler.

Thanks for the great story, Debra . And in case she doesn't hear it enough from me everyday, thanks Car for the challenges.

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quiet thoughts

Elvis~

Thank you AGAIN for contributing a story to one of my challenges. You've thanked me for posting them...but I really need to thank you for the inspiration. Such wonderful things come from your imagination! They never cease to amaze me. And so, because of your stories, and the other fabulous fics I read on Pens, I constantly ask "what if" -- and *poof* a new challenge is born.

This particular contribution was just amazingly sweet, Debra. The love and devotion that W and T show each other is just lovely. And the interactions with the other Scoobies is priceless. OMG your Anya is, to borrow a phrase from my British friend, watson, spot on! She just cracks me up with her out of the blue comments. And leave it to Anya to be all perceptive and stuff and figure out that W and T switched.

I'm so pleased that you've played in two of my challenge games, Debra! I'm pleased and honored.

You ARE the King!

Carleen

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Frivolous Views

fun in dysfunction – Hey there. Thanks so much. Glad you liked the Willow-swearing and Anya-isms. I don’t use them much but they are certainly fun.

Watson – I agree that they are very different. I seriously considered a S&S sequel for this piece. That would have involved Willow not turning Tara and a slightly different type of switch. But alas… the time to write smut is seriously decreased these days so I went a somewhat more wholesome direction. Thank you for your compliment.

You are right that I put a lot of personal experience and emotion into the story. Throughout Rachel’s pregnancy, I was a bit um obsessed with her belly and the baby inside. I would sit and stroke it or feel him kick and move or read to him or talk to him. It was really something.

I’ve never thought that Tara didn’t like her pancakes but in this case, having the body switch would give her the chance to eat something so sugary and not good for her or the baby. Willow was definitely more sedate.

I’m glad that the Anya food poisoning line was a hit. Rachel had morning sickness all day every day including the day after Asher was born. I had food poisoning once and it lasted 36 hours so it’s a little different. Of course the other Scoobies didn’t notice anything: clueless! Faith would have noticed I’d imagine if she were there.

Iby is from when we got our puppy and called her the itsy bitsy teeny tiny baby puppy. Then we used if on the baby, especially since we didn’t want to call the baby “it” all the time. That’s weird! I thought Faith’s present was a riot and even looked on the internet to link it but couldn’t find anything like that (I wonder why). The sling is the most valuable thing you can get for a baby. Rachel has about five of them for different settings and situations. I use one that is like the hippychick but not as padded. We tell everyone that the two most necessary things for the baby are a sling and a ball (like a yoga ball).

Thanks to you for your comments.

Carleen – You are so very welcome and of course that’s two of your wonderful challenges. Actually I kind of felt like this one was a bit mandatory, you know? Thanks for the praise (always).

Yes, sweet was exactly what I was going for. Like I said earlier, I don’t often use Anya so because sometimes I think she’s such a stock character, such an easy out or joke but this time I thought she would be pretty useful, in addition to being the only clueful Scooby. Thanks.

I don’t really think I’ll be doing the third challenge not because the research scares me off but because time writing a challenge would be time away from writing a Survivor update. I think most readers would support that prioritization? However, I very much like the poetry of both Adrienne Rich and Maya Angelou (I do have two degrees in English Literature after all). My favorite poem though… (not counting Shakespeare’s sonnets): Can you identify the author?

Love rode 1500 miles on a grey
hound bus & climbed in my window
one night to surprise
both of us.
the pleasure of that sleepy
shock has lasted a decade
now or more because she is
always still doing it and I am
always still pleased. I do indeed like
aggressive women
who come half a continent
just for me; I am not saying that patience
is virtuous, Love
like anybody else, comes to those who
wait actively
and leave their windows open.

Ok, I'm going to put the answer because I want to credit it correctly: It's Judy Grahn from The Work of a Common Woman.

Thank you!

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Hi Debra,

What a fun story this is. It brings back so many memories from days now long past.

I suspect most pregnant women wish their partners could trade places for a day. However sympathetic, we can't really know what it's like. Willow's getting a real appreciation for her wife's experiences: the physical awkwardness, fatigue, morning sickness, and, as Linda used to say, having someone constantly sitting on your bladder. Of course, there's also the "way cool" part of feeling the baby's movements. Meanwhile, Tara gets a much deserved vacation, twirling around the room "enjoying her own gracefulness."

Lots of nice touches of humour here, especially from Anya. As well as her food poisoning=pregnancy line, I really liked, "I've seen two-headed babies and it never works out well."

I share Xander's horror of attending the baby shower. Giles had it right; attend by conference call.

The gifts were cool, especially Faith's. The mayawrap sounds like a great idea; I wish we'd had them way back when. We used a snugglie, sort of a front pack, which worked well enough, I guess.

Thanks for a great story.

Russ

russ – Hey Russ. Yeah, the memories… I’m sure most pregnant women would probably like to trade for longer than a day. I think that both girls in this story get the chance to enjoy their day. Glad you liked Anya.

We had men at our baby shower because we felt like it was unfair to invite lesbian couples but not straight couples. I think that most of the men at our shower enjoyed it but then we didn’t have a whole “water breaking” episode or taste baby food or anything. Ok, some people tasted baby food but you could opt out. We have a snugglie thing too but I think it only goes up to like 14 pounds. I think all the slings are great. Thanks!

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

I found it challenging to try to include all four titles in a way that doesn't stick out like a sore thumb, and my hat is off to all the authors who completed a fic for this challenge. Somehow, it just seems a little wrong to include Buffy in this image - so let's assume that she ended a conflict between Willow and Tara by leaving the bedroom, thusly:

"Can we do it in front of Buffy?" "Absolutely not!"

"Uh, guys? I'll be leaving now..."

Congratulations to everyone who wrote a fic for this challenge. Here's an award for you. Now I gotta go read them all.

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Stocking Stuffers: Little Gifts from RKT