To those of you who have been waiting for an update, I humbly submit the following. I also must ask forgiveness for two things: 1) How long it's taken me 2) I'm a bit rusty, but I hope the writing is okay
I know it's taken a very long time for me to get back to this, but I thank you for your patience and interest. I hope to update more frequently (cuz wow, it's been like a year since I updated, and that just sucks!)
-BB
Title: The Truth of Deception - Part 30: Interlude Author: blameburner Feedback: Sure… Always a plus Summary: AU, baby! So you all know by now... Tara is part of the Initiative, she's had to lie to everyone... now the truth is out there, and Willow and Tara are together. But Maggie Walsh is still plotting something, and has more than one trick up her sleeve. Spoiler Warning: S4. Everything up to "Hush" is canon. After that, all bets are off. Disclaimer: Not my characters, but oh how I wish they were! Joss, blah, blah, ME, blah, blah. Rating: NC-17 Pairings: W/T, of course. Angst: Maggie Alert! Maggie Alert! Automatic 5 rating for Maggie, -2 for smoochies and this probably being the last relatively angst-free chapter. So total of 3.
Previously...
“So,” Willow said, “what’s our next move?”
“Well,” Tara said with a leer, grazing her eyes down Willow’s body, “I think it’s time to revisit the you-and-me-nekkid discussion.”
“Tara!” Willow said, blushing as she swatted Tara’s hand away from her breast.
“What?” Tara said in mock innocence. “You weren’t so bashful a little while ago. I believe the whole us-lying-here-nekkid-forever plan was your idea.”
“True,” Willow agreed. “And I still think it’s a sound plan,” she said with a grin. Then she grew somewhat serious. “But that’s not what I was talking about. I meant…”
“I know what you meant,” Tara said softly, brushing Willow’s hair behind her ear.
“We need to talk to Buffy,” Willow said.
“We can’t. I have to do this alone,” Tara said firmly. She made a move to sit up, but Willow held her firmly in place.
“But why?” Willow asked, her voice cracking in concern. “You said Riley already knows, so why can’t Buffy know? She can help-“
“I told Riley because I really didn’t have a choice, and because… I needed to trust someone. It was killing me to not be able to tell you,” Tara said, her voice catching slightly. “But the more people that know, the more dangerous it is – especially now that we know Walsh is watching. Besides, I’m the only one on the inside now. I’m the only one with a chance to find out what’s going on.”
“But there has to be a way,” Willow said, not willing to believe that Tara had to take this all on alone.
“I don’t see it, Willow,” Tara said sadly. Willow looked away, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Tara reached down and brought Willow’s head back to face her. “Walsh is watching, and the more people that know that, the more likely it is that one of us will slip up. Besides, even if I wanted to involve Buffy and Riley, I couldn’t now. I don’t think Riley believes anything I told him this morning now, not after what happened in my dorm room this afternoon. And as for Buffy… well, she’s more likely to rip my head off than listen to anything I have to say.”
“But won’t Riley just tell Buffy what you told him this morning? He doesn’t know about the cameras-“
“True, but I don’t think he will,” Tara interrupted. “I think Riley’s probably having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that he thinks I lied to him this morning, let alone having to explain it all to Buffy.”
“So what about us?” Willow asked, feeling the urge to cry once again as fear took hold. “Are we supposed to pretend to still be angry with each other? Avoid each other? Tara, I don’t know if I can do that. Not now.” I just found you. We just found each other.
“I know, sweetie,” Tara said, soothing away Willow’s tears with her thumb. “But we have to act like nothing’s changed.”
“But we can’t just not see each other,” Willow argued, resolve replacing her fear. “You won’t let Buffy or Riley help, fine… but I refuse to let you do this completely alone.”
“Willow, there’s nothing-“
“I can do?” Willow finished for Tara, her resolve doubling. “Maybe not from inside The Initiative. But baby, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a Grade-A, First Class hacker. There might be files I can access from the outside, which means less of the dangerous you-sneaking-around-The-Initiative-at-night-looking-for-information, which I am definitely not with the happiness about you doing, by the way… and you’re going to need someone to talk to, plan with, bounce things off of, watch you back, hold you at night, kiss you and love you and if you think I’m just going to leave you out there by yourself with no one to turn to-“
“Okay, okay,” Tara said, cutting off Willow-babble mid flow with a finger over Willow’s lips. “You win.”
“It’s not about winning, Tara,” Willow said, moving Tara’s finger and cupping her love’s cheek. She needed to make Tara understand. “It’s about you being the strongest woman I have ever known, facing something that’s challenging every ounce of that strength. I know you need to do this, baby. But I need to help you do this. Let me be your anchor. Let me give you strength. Let me love you.”
“Always,” Tara said, sealing her vow with a kiss. She felt Willow open beneath her and he lost herself inside the redhead’s mouth, meeting Willow’s devotion with her own. She was deeply moved by Willow’s words, and once again she was reminded of just how much this woman loved her – and of just how much she loved this woman.
“We can’t meet here again, though,” Tara said once the kiss finally ended. “Walsh might not be watching your parents’ house now, but I don’t know how long that will last. Better to find someplace else – someplace that has no connection whatsoever to either one of us.”
Willow thought for a moment, and then said, “What about the clocktower? Where the Gentlemen were hiding? It’s totally abandoned, on the edge of campus… Walsh would have no reason to look there.”
“I think it’s perfect,” Tara said, grinning at how her love’s mind worked. “We’ll have to plan to meet at a certain time – there’s no way for me to get word to you later.”
“We can meet at 9:30 tomorrow night. I can go to the library earlier and then sneak out from there,” Willow said almost excitedly. Truth be told, beyond the mind-numbing fear of Tara getting caught by Walsh, there was a certain thrill at the thought of all this spying and sneaking around. Secret rendezvous, clandestine kisses, frenzied… Geez Rosenberg, could you be any more of a perve?
“I’ll act like I’m going for a run,” Tara said, breaking Willow out of her thoughts.
“You think this’ll work?” Willow asked.
“I think it just might,” Tara said. Then something occurred to her. “Of course, I’m going to have to explain where I’ve been tonight. Especially since you’ve been gone all night, too.”
“Uh-oh,” Willow said. She hadn’t thought of that.
“No problem,” Tara said, grinning. She started tracing the swell of Willow’s breast. “I’ll just tell Walsh I went out to the Bronze, got drunk, picked up a gorgeous girl and spent the night with her.”
“Oh really?” Willow asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Cuz you do that often, do ya?”
“Sure,” Tara said, amusement glinting her eyes. “Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday.”
********************************
In and of itself, it wasn’t so bad. But if Tara and Willow came back around the same time… well, it was just too suspicious for someone like Maggie Walsh. Tara knew her planned cover story to Walsh could work – would work – but she didn’t want to arouse any more suspicion than absolutely necessary.
She dressed slowly, almost reluctantly, her body protesting the exit her mind had already decided to make. Tara glanced out the window and noticed the faint morning light just starting to push its way into the shadows of Sunnydale. She let out a faint sigh. She and Willow would have the rest of their lives to wake up together and enjoy the dawn. Once this all was over.
**********************************
“Yeah, well…” Tara started, “After I left you yesterday, I had a run-in with Willow… Willow and Buffy and Riley. They all came at me, trying to turn me against you, just like Buffy turned Riley. And hearing that… those lies about you… I just couldn’t handle it. I snapped, told Willow to leave me the hell alone.”
Walsh faked surprise, then sympathy.
“I’m sorry, Tara,” she said.
“No, I’m sorry,” Tara said quickly. “I shouldn’t have gone off like I did. I just… it upset me. You had warned me that Buffy had tried to set you up, but to hear those lies coming from Willow’s mouth too… it was just too much. I can’t even believe I could ever have had feelings for someone so delusional.”
“It happens,” Walsh said compassionately. “You can’t help it that you are so open and caring. It’s a wonderful quality.” ***********************************
“Where are we with Adam?” Tara asked.
Walsh sighed. “Nowhere, I’m afraid. Teams Three and Four came back empty. One and two are heading back out in an hour. We just haven’t been able to find a trace of him.”
“Do you want me to suit up,” Tara asked with false eagerness.
“No,” Walsh said. “What I said to you yesterday still applies. I need you rested and ready for when we do actually sight Adam. And since you don’t seem to have gotten any real rest last night… consider yourself on standby until further notice. I’ll let you know when it’s time.”
“Time for what?” Tara asked.
“Time for payback,” Walsh said, her eyes glinting as they stared off ever so slightly.
*************************************
He delighted in the destruction, on tapping into his cruelty – of which there was an infinite capacity – and using it to eliminate his enemies. No one was safe from him, her little boy. She was so proud.
“What’s my mission?” he asked, his voice now steely and dark. All traces of compassion were gone. No matter how much it amused him to play their little game, his ability to play the simpering, subservient fool was always short-lived. It was time to get to work.
His voice broke Walsh out of her thoughts, the change in his voice evident. For a moment she had forgotten that once their game ended – and it always ended – her little boy became the dangerous man he truly was. Now she saw the façade of humanity crumble around him, leaving only the beast within.
“I need you to act as my liaison with Adam,” Walsh said, her voice having lost its motherly quality as she gave the devil the respect he demanded. She handed him a dossier, which he began flipping through. “He has been out of contact since leaving the facility, and I need him brought into the fold. He is aware of the ultimate project objective, but he needs to know where we are in the process.”
He flipped through the file, scanning it for any information he didn’t already possess – which was very little. Beyond what Walsh had already told him of the Adam project, he had conducted his own “investigation” into Walsh’s activities to find out the rest. The only thing he hadn’t known was who Walsh had planned on using the Falasian Crystal on. But the file made that – and a lot more – very clear.
“They’ve been quite busy, I see,” he said, his voice even yet seething.
“Yes. But they are not your concern right now,” Walsh said sternly.
His head jerked up and his eyes flashed dangerously, but quickly he regained his composure. “And when exactly will they become my concern?”
Walsh had to bite her tongue to keep from snapping at him. She knew that when it came to this subject, the tight discipline he maintained could evaporate quickly. And she really didn’t feel like dying today.
“Soon,” she forced herself to say calmly. “Very soon.”
“This mission is not what you called me about, is it?” he asked, staring her down.
“No, it isn’t,” Walsh said. “But as you can see from the file, that situation has largely resolved itself. I know where everyone stands now. They are not a threat.”
“They are always a threat,” he said coldly. “You have an agent on the run, an angry Slayer, a betrayed witch… and then there’s Agent MaClay.”
“She’s not a problem,” Walsh said hotly. “And she’s certainly not your problem. I know where her loyalties are.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw clenched, making Walsh wonder if she had just made a deadly mistake. But then he surprised her for the second time that morning by… smiling.
“Careful, Maggie,” he said almost sweetly. He stood and walked to the secret exit, the file in his hand. “Loyalty is fluid. The biggest mistake you can make is to trust that someone’s loyalty to you will keep them from destroying you.”
With that, he was gone. And Maggie Walsh couldn’t help but wonder if her life expectancy had just gotten significantly shorter.
********************************
Part 30
Tara sat on her bed, legs crossed underneath her, and realized she’d zoned out again. She had spent the better part of the afternoon walking throughout the campus, going over everything she knew and trying to put the pieces of the puzzle into some kind of picture. She’d come up empty. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t figure out just what Maggie Walsh was trying to accomplish. Or how exactly it involved Willow.
After giving herself a dull headache she finally decided enough was enough – she’d done all she could with the information she had. There had to be more, more that would at last connect all the dots and lead Tara to what was really going on. But until she found that crucial piece of the puzzle… there was simply no point in torturing herself. So she’d decided that maybe she’d put her brain power to better use and actually do some studying. Monsters and demons aside, she was supposed to be a student.
Tara loved literature, and normally Jane Austen would have had her engrossed in no time, but as Tara read the same line for what had to be the thirty-seventh time she realized it was just no use. She just couldn’t get her mind off Willow.
It wasn’t fair. You’re supposed to be able to walk down the street holding your girlfriend’s hand and take her out to dinner and a movie and kiss her in public and tell the whole world that you’re madly in love and want to spend the rest of your life with her. But Tara and Willow’s entire relationship had been a secret, first because Willow was scared to tell her friends, and now because of Maggie Walsh. The first reason had been okay with Tara. Well… not okay, but understandable. But the second reason… and especially now that she and Willow had finally made love… really pissed Tara off.
Tara shook her head and grinned, despite herself. It seemed silly that with the very real danger Maggie Walsh posed to Willow that Tara was focusing at the moment on being pissed at Maggie about something so trivial. But it wasn’t trivial, not really. Willow deserved everything, and that included being able to have an open relationship and see Tara whenever she darn-well felt like it. Of course, Willow being able to see me whenever she feels like it benefits me too, Tara thought with another grin. I’d get to see her and hold her and kiss her and touch her and get her nekkid…
Tara closed the book and decided to give Jane Austen a rest. It was just no use. Now she was sexually frustrated on top of everything else. Tara knew she and Willow were doing the right thing, but it just wasn’t fair. Now that she and Willow had been together they weren’t supposed to be apart, but they were. And it sucked.
More than that, though, her separation from Willow was like a hole right inside her chest, and it was growing. And it hurt.
She shook her head, trying to shift the true intensity of her feelings to something more manageable, cloaking her need in the physical manifestations of it.
Tomorrow night she and Willow would be together again. But for now… Tara was on her own.
Okay, Tara-girl. You better go work off some of this frustration or you’re gonna explode. And if the workout doesn’t fix things, the cold shower afterwards certainly will.
Tara grabbed her gym bag out of her closet, grabbed her keys and headed out the door.
**********************************
Willow read the line for what she knew was the thirty-seventh time – she’d counted, of course – and sighed. Normally “Advanced String Theory” could engross her completely, but she just couldn’t focus on anything besides Tara.
Tara… Willow sighed dreamily in her head.
Willow knew she had more important things to be thinking about right now, like the fact that she had only gotten an A on her last Physics test instead of her customary A+, but she couldn’t help it. So what if my sterling academic record is over, Willow thought. Tara’s worth it.
Willow had been at the library all afternoon but hadn’t even made a dent in her studies. The previous night played over and over again in her head, in glorious detail. Every kiss, every caress, every loving word – and some very naughty ones – echoed in her head and heart. Everywhere Tara kissed still tingled. She could still feel Tara’s arms around her, holding her, protecting her. Willow wanted more, and she wanted more right now.
“Stupid Maggie Walsh,” Willow grumbled. Willow wouldn’t get to see Tara again for another twenty-six hours and twenty-three minutes, and it was all Walsh’s fault.
This was supposed to be their perfect time together, not apart. They were supposed to be able to wake up in each others arms and spend their days walking hand in hand, whispering and giggling and snuggling the way that new lovers do. They were not supposed to be separated by evil, scheming, murder-attempting, life-ruining dictator-wanna-be’s like Walsh. It wasn’t fair. Especially not to Tara.
Tara deserved everything, like sunny afternoons strolling through town eating ice cream and moonlit nights spent making love on a blanket under the stars. So okay, making love outdoors is never going to happen in a town like Sunnydale. I mean the thought of some vamp gang lurking in the bushes watching us… ew! But still…
Willow shut her book with a resounding thunk. Studying was just not going to happen. She wanted to be with Tara, but that wasn’t going to happen until tomorrow night. Plan B was to study, but since that obviously wasn’t going to happen either… Maybe Buffy would be home and they could indulge in a little mocha goodness. Nothing like a sugar and caffeine buzz and a little best friend time to take your mind of things.
Oh, who am I kidding? Willow thought glumly as she headed out of the library.
*****************************
Tara shifted her gym back a little higher on her shoulder as she headed back to her dorm room. Twenty minutes with the punching bag hadn’t done anything but give her a sore shoulder, and thirty minutes on the treadmill hadn’t helped either. Neither had the cold shower. Thoughts of Willow had never left her mind.
Yep, I’m definitely whupped, Tara thought with a little grin. She was absolutely, positively, head-over-heels whupped. Ms. Willow Rosenberg had stolen her heart completely. Her grin widened.
As Tara rounded the corner of the music building, her breath caught. There, coming out of the library, was the woman who set her soul aflame. Willow seemed to be muttering to herself, and Tara could only imagine what had caused the redhead’s forehead to furrow in such a way. She’s probably as frustrated as I am, Tara thought. She grinned. At least I’m not the only one.
Tara’s grin fell away, however, when she realized Willow had turned left and was now heading directly towards her. Uh-oh, Tara thought. She couldn’t risk running into Willow, not out here in the open. Tara started to shuffle backwards, intending to duck back around the corner and out of sight, when she realized there was nowhere to go. Willow was probably heading back to Stevenson, and Tara was directly in Willow’s path.
Tara saw a small grouping of trees and high bushes, and without thinking quickly stepped into them for cover. She watched Willow continue towards her, still muttering. Tara’s heart filled with love and all she wanted to do was pull Willow into her arms.
Can’t do it, Tara-girl, she ordered herself. You cannot give in and risk everything. Just let her walk by, walk by, walk… oh but she’s so cute… let her go, Tara-girl. That’s right just let her… no, Tara. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Tara don’t… oh hell you’re going to, aren’t you.
Willow never even saw it coming. She didn’t have time to register the familiar arm that shot out of the bushes and clamped down on her wrist, or shift her balance to resist the forceful pull that knocked her off her feet as she flew into the bushes. Her brain was just gearing up to scream when she recognized the loving blue eyes a few inches from her own.
“Tara?” Willow managed with a squeak. Tara smiled while sheepishly biting her lip and nodded.
“Oh, Tara!” Willow breathed as she threw her arms around her girlfriend’s neck. Tara hugged her back, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. She wondered if her heart would always beat so strongly for this woman, and she realized it probably would.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day,” Willow whispered into Tara’s ear.
“Me neither,” Tara said, shivering. It was such a relief to have Willow in her arms. She had to fight the urge to cry from the simple joy of it.
“And now you’re here,” Willow said softly, pulling back to look into her love’s eyes. Gently Willow traced the side of Tara’s face with her fingertips, as if to touch Tara was to know that she was real. That they were real. Willow leaned in and Tara met her there, their lips touching once, then again and again.
“I couldn’t stop myself,” Tara said, breaking the kiss. “I just kept wishing I could see you, and then there you were coming out of the library. I knew all the reasons why I should just let you walk by, but they were nothing compared to just being able to touch you and talk to you for only a moment. I knew it was a risk, but…”
“But what, my love?” Willow said as she played with a strand of Tara’s hair that had fallen loose from her ponytail.
“I just… I needed you,” Tara said softly. “I need you Willow. For the rest of my life.”
“You’ve got me, baby,” Willow said. “You have absolutely got me forever.”
Tara smiled and pulled Willow a little closer. “Forever? That’s an awfully long time, Ms. Rosenberg. Sure you want to commit to that?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Willow said, leaning in to kiss Tara again.
They kissed for what felt like a lifetime and yet nowhere near long enough before, finally, common sense returned to both of them. They leaned their foreheads together, each of them sighing at the time they both knew had come.
“I don’t want to let you go,” Willow said sadly.
“I know,” Tara agreed. “But we have to.”
“I know,” Willow answered. “But we’ll see each other tomorrow night, right?”
“Vampires couldn’t keep me away,” Tara said jokingly.
“That’s not funny,” Willow said, frowning.
“Not even a little funny?” Tara asked sweetly. “Just a teeny, tiny bit funny?”
Willow pursed her lips together as she considered this. Tara almost burst out laughing.
“I suppose it’s microscopically funny,” Willow said in mock seriousness. This time Tara did laugh. And so did Willow. “9:30 at the clocktower?”
“Don’t be late,” Tara said, kissing Willow gently.
When the kiss ended, Willow slowly stepped out of Tara’s arms, and Tara let her go. It was one of the hardest things either of them had ever done. Tara watched Willow walk all the way up to Stevenson and through the building’s front door before leaving their impromptu hideaway in the bushes and heading back to her own dorm room.
*****************************
Maggie Walsh leaned back in her chair, rubbing her tired eyes. She had been locked away in her office all day, ever since her little boy had checked in. His visit had left her rattled, though she would scarcely admit it even to herself. Instead, she would just pour herself another cup of coffee and blame her nerves on the caffeine.
Walsh knew he wasn’t a threat to her right now – not as long as there was something he wanted from her. She supposed he could get what he wanted without her. In fact, she as absolutely certain he could. But he wouldn’t… at least not yet. The time might come when the promise of pain Walsh’s plan represented would not stave off his rage, when the control he had mastered would be crushed under the weight of his need for satisfaction. But for now… the plan would suffice.
Walsh reached for her coffee and took a long sip. She glanced over at the monitors and noticed Tara walking into her dorm room, gym bag slung over her shoulder. Tara dropped the bag in the closet and sat in the chair by her window, hugging her knees up to her chest. Tara looked contemplative, Walsh thought, as she stared out into the night.
“Out working out again, huh?” Walsh asked of the figure in the monitor, expecting no response. “Feeling a little tense? Sad? Sorry about that, dear. I know this has all been hard on you. But I’ll take care of you, I promise.”
Walsh reached for the control box and zoomed the camera in a little closer on Tara. Truth be told, Walsh did feel bad for Tara. It was only natural that she would, not because she had been at least partly responsible for Tara’s sadness, but because it was the way a mother should feel about a daughter in pain. And after all, Walsh was the closest thing to a mother the poor girl had anymore.
“I know this hasn’t been easy on you little one,” Walsh said, practically cooing to the monitor. “And those people certainly haven’t made it any easier. But don’t you worry, Buffy and Riley will get what’s coming to them. As for Willow… maybe I’ll just have to give you the pleasure of handling that one for me. It’s only fair-“
Walsh stopped mid-sentence when she thought she saw something in the monitor. She zoomed in as tight as the camera would go so she could make out Tara’s reflection in the window. She breathed a small sigh of relief when she saw the set line of Tara’s lips and the furrow of her brow.
Walsh shook her head, laughing a little. “My little boy has me a bit paranoid, my dear. For a second I thought… no, wait. There it is again!”
What Walsh saw sent a chill down her spine, though she tried to tell herself it meant nothing. It was such a small thing. Maybe it meant nothing. Walsh knew there were a thousand possible reasons for the hint of a smile that had formed on Tara’s lips, but it was one possible reason that troubled her.
Walsh switched the second monitor to Willow Rosenberg’s room. Willow was alone, sitting at her desk, a very thick text book open in front of her. Willow seemed very intent on her studies, and for that Walsh was glad.
Walsh zoomed in a little closer. Willow was biting her fingernails again. No… wait. She was… rubbing her lips. Tracing them, really, with her fingertips. Suddenly Willow dropped her hand and shook her head, as if shaking herself out of a daze. Then she pulled out a yellow highlighter and started highlighting a passage of her book.
“Well that’s… odd,” Walsh mumbled. Walsh looked over to Tara’s monitor and saw that Tara was now sitting on her bed, reading what appeared to be Jane Austen. The faint smile that had been on Tara’s face was now gone.
“Maybe I imagined it,” Walsh thought aloud. “A trick of light in the reflection, nothing more. And so what if she was smiling. It doesn’t mean anything. Or maybe…”
Walsh shut off the monitors and turned back to her desk. No, Tara would never betray her. Walsh knew Tara better than that. She had Tara right where she wanted her, which was where she should always be – in loyal, loving service to her mentor and mother-figure.
No, Tara would never betray Maggie Walsh.
“Too much caffeine,” Walsh said to herself. “You’ve definitely got to cut back.”
And with that Walsh put all thoughts of betrayal out of her mind and focused on the next phase of her plan.
*******************************
TBC with Part 31: Change of Plans
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