The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 1:09 pm 
Yay 2 amazing updates for me!!! :D

Can somebody please kick their butts? Why are they so blind?



*lil´c*

"I am S-E-X-Y" Amber at the FedCon



Sweet Amber ~~~ Amber Board ~~~ Danielle Benson ~~~ Danielle Benson France ~~~ Danielle Board



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:23 pm 
Thank you for your wonderful welcome to my earlier feedback. I think you are doing a spectacular job of writing this. It's almost painful to read and that's just great. The tension is overwhelming. Poor Willow! I'm glad that she's going away for the weekend and hope she gets some perspective.



I have to say that I feel sorry for her that in three years she appears to have never had anyone to talk to about this. I mean she has Bryan and Buffy and hasn't been able to trust either enough to tell them? And she's never gotten drunk and sat and bored a sympathetic bartender with her tale or anything? Seems very sad indeed. It seems particularly sad since it seems to me that Willow has little to lose by making her feelings known. Normally I would think it's dangerous because she could "lose the friendship" but they don't have a real friendship now: they have an awkward situation with no joy for either. She can maintain that or move into something else. Either way, it could move and that would have to be good.



For Tara's part, it seems that she's doing what she can. She believes that Willow is unattainable and that it would be inappropriate to even try (geez, what kind of lesbian is she? Didn't she get the handbook at training?). So she's being noble.



Your writing is wonderful and I really appreciate the frequent updates. Debra

Go Lance!

MoveOn.Org

American Civil Liberities Union



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:53 pm 
Oh man, so not fair. These two need to get it together soon.



You'll make it all better soon won't you?????????



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



My Home Page | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered



My lack of talent is more than made up for by my enthusiasm.



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 11:15 pm 
-Sighs again.-





You know .. one of these days .. -shakes her head..- you and I are going to have a confrontation.





-Steals Spike's lines.-





Make it better pweassee? :sob



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 Post subject: replies
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:13 am 
WickedReds Haha she does need one of those badgey thingys. Hopefully she'll pick one up on her trip home. Thanks!



YMKA Thanks! Seriously, leaving is the only thing you can do sometimes (even if it temporarily makes things worse). "Leave now... explain later" is very much how Willow's going to handle this mixup. Silly girl.



snuggle79 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Er, I mean, Willow taking off like that! (Eh, same diff.) Willow definitely has some 'splainin to do, just going to take a while for her to get it all worked out.



Wired vixen 'Why, god, why?!' That's pretty much my thought on the matter as well. Glad you're enjoying it, and more on the way.



BARE1975 "WTF, mate," and hello. I think Willow realizes Tara's being nice to her (although definitely not that Tara's crushing on her), just doesn't know how to handle that because of her own jumbled up feelings. Hopefully the next update will work to fix that a bit.



VixenyTarasHot I know! You should see me, sat at my computer, posting the story, shaking my fist at the sky enraged by how much Tara hurts... and then I remember 'you wrote it, dork'. That's usually followed by some sheepish ice cream eating. As for soon... no. :D Eventually, but lots of ground to cover first. Thanks for reading!



Artemis Damn it, the last line in your feedback made me all in the mood for pirates. If Willow swabs a deck in the next update, or takes to the seven seas in search of untold treasure, you have only yourself to blame. :) And yes, Willow is terrified of doing the wrong thing because she's so wrapped up in Tara, so she does (duhn, duhn, duuuuuuh) the wrong thing. This next update should help with that (just ignore the parrot *squaksevenseas*). Thanks!



WillowRTaraM1 Oh! I always worry about jumping on bandwagons, mainly because I fear hopping onto anything with wheels (what if it moves, there could be falling, humiliation, dirty clothes, bruised limbs etc.) But thank you, I'm so very happy you're enjoying this (big thanks to Washi as well for the recommendation - wow).



littlecrazy80 What is it... "love is blind"? They'll get over this mutual myopia eventually, I promise. Thanks!



JustSkipIt You're very welcome, I'm just tickled beyond belief that you're reading *and* liking (just so very cool). As for your latest feedback, you win the stuffed bear for pretty much nailing on the head what the next update is about: Willow talking about all of this with someone she trusts. (I read your words just as I was finishing up the next installment and my eyes went a bit wide. Spooky.) Hopefully Willow's fears will get a good once over in the next post, but basically she's wrapped herself into this web of anxiety, where she fears any step in any direction will set off something bad (if that makes sense). If she could wear her emotions on her sleeve, it would probably read 'paralyzed by fear'.

As for Tara... Tara is being noble, which *clearly* violates Rule 19, section 10, paragraph 5 in the handbook (she's dangerously close to being fined for making the rest of us look bad). On the one hand, she doesn't want to make Willow uncomfortable, and on the other hand, she doesn't want to muck things up with Buffy. I think she's actually more worried that Buffy will think badly of her if she is a little more... open and aggressive with Willow (especially if Willow freaks). Losing Willow would be horrible for Tara, losing Willow and Buffy would be catastrophic. And as for the updates... I'm pretty much posting them as soon as I write them. The story is so easy to write *knock on wood*, and has just flowed so far... hopefully that'll remain the case and I'll be able to post fairly frequently (although I don't want to rush, I'm enjoying having this story play in my head too much to rush). Thanks again for your words, and of course, for reading!



WillowPowered 'Soon'? What is this word, 'soon'? *sigh* If only I had a dictionary... Thanks so very much for reading.



willowhanded Aww, I promise, it will get better.



Let's update this sucker!



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 Post subject: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:15 am 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:04 pm
Posts: 695
Topics: 1
Title: Neverland
Author: EasierSaid a.k.a. Heather
Feedback: Bites lip and whispers "yes, please."
Spoilers: None.
Setting: AU. There is no Hellmouth, there is no slayer and no magic of the wicca variety. Just our girls and the rest of the Buffy characters living and loving in that great city by the bay, San Francisco.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Please don't sue me Mutant Enemy.
Notes: Some cathartic coffee talk.

Thoughts in italics

PART 9

"Well, *technically* you were right, most paintings are, 'just paint'." He paused. "And a little canvas." Willow scowled at the dark haired man sitting across from her in the booth at their favorite breakfast haunt. He pumped his fist as a new thought came to him. "Or, maybe you were just being abstract. You know, like, 'deep down inside, we're all, just paint'."

"Xander..." Willow frowned.

"You're a nihilist, and you don't believe in paint?" The man ask, confused. "Damn it, I should have gone to college!" He chastised himself dramatically and then frowned when Willow didn't respond. She had shown up at his door the night before, her chin trembling, her shoulders slumped. She had looked thoroughly defeated, and when he took her into his arms for a hello hug, she had fallen apart completely.

He rubbed his bleary eyes, taking a quick sip of sludgy coffee. It had been a late night, mostly spent listening as the redhead paced back and forth, alternating between crying and babbling about paint, olives, omelets and housing prices in SF, her hands circling wildly in front of her as she talked through her points. She finally wound down around 2:30, falling into a deep sleep around 3. He had wrapped her up in a thin blanket on the couch, and left her to rest.

Now, sitting across from her and nursing a cup of coffee post-pancakes, he didn't know what to say. Obviously his friend was torn up inside, and only making things worse by getting down on herself. It was a vicious cycle, and he didn't know how much longer she could function being caught up in it. He sighed and picked up a blue crayon from a cup next to the ketchup. The table was covered in butcher paper, and he absently doodled a smiley face. His eyes lit up as an idea came to him. He looked up, Willow holding the water cup with both hands, looking down at the melting ice cubes utterly dispossessed. "Scoot over." He said, standing up and making his way over to her side.

"What?" She said, looking up as he moved. "Xander-"

"Move over." Willow complied grudgingly, and Xander sat next to her. She looked at him thoroughly perplexed. "Okay. I think I've figured out how you can fix things. See, the way I see it, you have two problems." She continued to stare at him, so he turned and drew a straight line in front of him.

"A diagram? Is this going to be like, football talk, with Xs and Os?"

"It would be, only I don't know anything about football." He wrote the letter 'T' at the top of the line.

"'T'." She said. "Tara?"

"Yup." He said, putting the crayon back in the cup.

"Tara's not a problem-"

"Hear me out," he interrupted quickly. She nodded, mute, and he continued. "Who is Tara."

"What?"

"Who is Tara." He repeated.

"My, roommate..." She trailed off, wondering where this was going.

"And..." He led, arching his eyebrows. Willow arched her eyebrows in return, not sure she was following.

"Buffy's friend?"

Xander snapped his fingers and pointed to Willow, 'ah ha!'. Willow looked thoroughly baffled; she snapped as well and pointed to him, not getting his point at all. He deflated and tried again. "Say you're talking to Shelia about Tara, and she famously botches up her name. 'Tammy?' She says and you say, 'no, Tara, you know, she's...'" He arched his eyebrows again and waited.

"My roommate?"

"No, you can't use roommate. 'She's...'"

"Buffy's friend." Willow replied, starting to get frustrated.

"Exactly." Xander said, taking a sip of coffee. Willow didn't reply, and he tacked on, "she's not *your* friend."

Willow opened her mouth to argue and then closed it, her thoughts drifting. She looked at Xander warily. "And."

"And that's your problem." When Willow didn't reply, he continued. "You're so worried about being in love with Tara, and Tara maybe rejecting you should you ever come clean and declare this love, that you've totally overlooked the fact that you guys aren't even friends. She's not even on your radar."

"She is my radar." Willow replied, deadpan.

"My bad, I'm tired. I meant, you're probably not on *her* radar. I mean, as anything other than her straight, extremely hot roommate-"

"Xander-"

"Have you ever dated someone you haven't been friends with?" He interrupted.

"No, but I've only ever dated Oz."

"Right, and when you broke up with him you said the hardest thing about it was that you'd be losing a great friend."

"Xander-"

The man picked up a purple crayon and wrote in list form, the numbers 1-5. "Write down five things that you know about Tara. And little personal things, stuff she likes, *not* stuff like, 'went to college with Buffy', or 'is an artist', or 'has blonde hair'." He held the crayon out to Willow, who took it tentatively. She looked down at the list, and after a brief moment, filled the first space.

1. Loves horses

She paused and looked up at Xander, who nodded encouragingly. Willow turned back to the list, and wrote:

2. Thinks Beatles > Rolling Stones

She sat still for a moment as her face opened up, her expression relaxing as little things about the blonde flooded her mind. Three through five came quickly.

3. Wishes was 2" taller
4. Sings to self when thinks no one listening
5. Unnerved by Viagra ads

She quickly wrote '6.', and Xander reached over and took the crayon from her. "Whoa there tiger, only need five." Willow looked at him sheepishly and he smiled back widely, reaching across her to write another list. He got '1.' on the page before she winced. He stopped, looking at her cautiously, before she took the crayon from him and handed him another. He shook his head. "You and your different colors..." He scratched out the previous '1.', then wrote out 1-5 in green.

"What, five things I want to know about Tara...?" Willow asked, her forehead knit together skeptically.

Xander scoffed, "please." He handed the crayon over to the redhead. "Okay, now list five little quirky personal things that Tara knows about *you*." Willow's brow furrowed and Xander again nodded encouragingly. She turned to the table, and stared at the list. After a long moment she wrote:

1. Likes olives

Xander's eyebrows arched and Willow turned to him, a vulnerable expression on her face. "Keep going," he encouraged. She turned back to the list, and pulled her hand away from the paper, staring intently at the blank numbers before her, the crayon craddled in her hand in lap. After a couple of long minutes, Xander reached over and gently took the crayon from Willow's hands. "I think that proves a point..." He said softly. Willow turned to him, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Proves what point?"

"That Tara isn't going to ever be your friend, much less fall in love with you, if the only thing that she knows about you is that you like olives." He let that sink in with Willow before adding, "or maybe she will, I don't know, I'm not entirely sure I get her."

"Don't get her?" Willow asked panicked. "What's not to get, she's wonderful, a-and kind and--"

Xander interrupted. "And what is with the anxiousness? This seems like the perfect moment for you to lapse into a, 'she's so dreamy' babble, and instead you look like you're going to burst into tears. Willow-" The man thought for a long moment. "You're so wound up and worried about losing this girl, and the truth of the matter is, you don't have her. At all." Willow looked a little surprised. "Move out and get your own place, and she's back to being just 'Buffy's friend', someone you only see when Buffy decides to get you two together." Willow turned and looked back at the four blank spaces. "You need to start sharing yourself with this girl."

"But share what."

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"I mean, what do I have to share?" She said softly, raw.

"Will..." He replied, equally soft, slightly exasperated. "There isn't a set list of 'Willow-isms' that you need to reveal to her and then check off in order to impress her..." She looked at him, exposed and he shook his head. "Now realizing I might have given you the wrong impression with this..." He pointed to the lists, sighing. "Look, you're a sum of your parts, and one of the reasons why I love your sum, is because I've loved your parts." Her eyebrows crept up and he frowned. "That sounds a little wrong, hold on." He thought for a moment, Willow watching him closely, patiently. He looked up, and continued.

"If Tara knew what you loved about life, what you hated about life, what you thought about *anything*, she would love you." Willow opened her mouth to speak but he interrupted. "And I'm not talking romantically, because I don't know if that's a possibility for her. I just mean... it's impossible to know you and not love you, care about you, and I can't help but think how much better you'd feel around her and vice versa if you let her get to know you. She's a stranger right now... Let her care about you in a way other than 'Willow, Buffy's friend'. I mean," he paused for a moment. "If I had to make a list of things I know and love about you... I'd need every table in here and I'd still only be scratching the surface of your wonderfulness."

"That's just cause you've known me forever..."

"Exactly. Because we've spent time together, just Willow and Xander, dorking it up and hanging out. You don't hang out with Tara. You dance around her, worry about her, stare at her..." She looked up at that. "I know you do, don't even try and say you don't." She shrugged sheepishly. "Have you ever thought that what you might need is to just relax and enjoy her company?"

"I don't know if I can-"

"Of course you can. She's just a girl-"

"She's *not*, just a girl-"

"She's going to have to be if you're gonna have any chance at a relationship with her." Willow's brow furrowed. "You can't be with someone you're afraid of being around-"

"I'm not afraid-"

"You're terrified." He interrupted, emphasizing his point and not backing down. "Like with that whole paint thing. So what, you said something awkward, put your foot in your mouth. The only *wrong* thing you did was that you didn't keep talking to dislodge said foot, that you didn't say 'it's just paint but I love it'." She looked at him skeptically. "See Will, I see a painting I like, and I go, 'pretty'. If I ever met the artist I'd probably say, 'me think pretty', and you know what, nothing wrong with that. So I don't know about the symbolism and the brush strokes and whatever it is that art critics say. I know that it's pretty, and the artist would probably enjoy hearing that." He paused for a moment. "Stop trying to say the 'perfect thing' all of the time and just say what's on your mind."

"But what if what's on my mind is stupid?"

"A) The likelihood of that is low, Will, and B) So what? People say stupid things all of the time, but they get along alright, people still love 'em. Living, breathing example." He said, pointing at himself.

"You don't say stupid things, Xand-"

"She can't love you if she can't pick you out of a lineup, if you're just, 'girl who breathes and takes up space'." Willow went quiet, nodding, conceding his point.

"What if..." She trailed off meekly, looking down at her hands. "What if I do all that, the sharing and speaking my mind and stuff, and she doesn't like me?" Willow asked, not daring to look up.

"Not gonna happen." Willow frowned and Xander continued, full of bravado. "You wanna bet money? I will clean you out Rosenberg. Come on, $20 says you're giggling at inside jokes within two months."

Willow smiled slightly at that and Xander watched her closely, making sure she was reassured for the time being. Satisfied, he reached over and picked up an orange crayon, and Willow followed his movements curiously. "Second problem..." He said tentatively, drawing an offshoot of Tara's line, like a break in the genelogical line. He carefully wrote 'C.O.' at the top of the line, parallel to the 'T' atop the other line. Willow turned to him.

"'C.O.'?"

"'Coming out.'" He said plainly. Her cheeks immediately flushed and she looked down. Xander scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder, dropping his voice. "I know things didn't go well when you tried to tell your mom... but that was two years ago, maybe-"

"When I told her Bryan had a new boyfriend on the phone yesterday, she winced." Willow said, her throat constricted, face hot, embarrassed both by her own situation and her mother's reaction.

Xander exhaled, disappointed and angry with Willow's mother for what was probably not the last time. "I'm sorry, Will." She shrugged, still obviously bothered. "But..." He thought for the right words to say. "I took it well." Willow looked up at him, and he smiled warmly. She almost cried, remembering how sweet he had been when she had shown up in his parent's basement, sobbing and blubbering, so thoroughly wounded by her mother's detatched disappointment in her when she tentatively, and hypothetically, suggested she might be gay. How he had held her and assured her that he was fine with it, that he loved her regardless of who she loved. She sniffed and swallowed hard, nodding.

Xander saw the change of emotion on her face and sought to keep the redhead's mood light (well, lighter than sobbing would allow). "I mean, true, there were some awkward moments-"

She laughed, wiping her eyes with a napkin. "Like when you spent that night grilling me about which girls from our high school class I had thought were hot?"

"Still can't believe you said no to Harmony." Willow's face twisted in disgust. "Forgetting about the fact that she was a mean, twisted, vapid *bitch*, she had a smokin' bod." Willow rolled her eyes and shook her head, a soft smile on her lips. "Tell Buffy," Xander softly urged. When Willow squirmed, he continued. "You know she'll support you, Will-"

"You don't understand-"

"Obviously."

"Buffy, she... she has these expectations of me. I mean, she was so excited when I said I was moving to San Francisco. 'Finally, someone to go pick up guys with!'" Willow shook her head. "Always trying to set me up with guys, saying how she loves Tara but is glad she has this straight friend to go on straight double dates with... And Tara is her friend. If something happened, or didn't happen, and things got awkward between Tara and I--"

"I'm sorry, *got* awkward?" Xander asked, incredulously, rhetorically. Willow shot him a dirty look and he held up his hands. "Sorry. Continue."

"Just..." Willow thought, deciding to lay out every irrational thought. "What if Buffy thinks living with Tara made me gay, or I was just, gay for Tara-."

"Okay, first? Tara has nothing to do with coming out to Buffy." He reached up and X'd out the 'T' on the page, Willow inwardly wincing. "If Tara never existed, you'd still be gay, and you'd still at some point need to come out to Buffy."

"I know." Her reaction practiced, as they had had this exact conversation before.

"Tara didn't 'make' you gay, your gayness has nothing to do with Tara. The only 'gay' connection between you and Tara is that she's the one you want to be gay with." His eyes glazed over for a moment and he went quiet. Willow pulled a face and hit him in the arm. He turned back to her. "What were we talking about?"

"You were being disgusting."

"Oh right, being gay with Tara." He smiled and Willow smirked, shaking her head at his obvious attempt at levity.

Dork. She thought.

"Buffy might be thrown when you tell her, and it might take her a little bit to get over her disappointment that you're not gonna be her 'man-hunting, wingwoman', but, she loves you. She'll get over whatever she needs to get over and things will be okay."

Willow nodded, 'knowing' he was right, even as she worried that he wasn't. "And... you need to tell her, because eventually... you need to tell Tara." Willow looked up and Xander continued. "You can't be gay with Tara if she thinks you're straight."

"I know." Willow said softly. Observant, wonderful, dork.

"Unless you have this," he circled the 'C.O.' "You can't have this." He circled the X'd out 'T'. "Hey, look, Xs and Os." Willow smiled slightly. She sighed and nodded her head, acknowledging his point and they sat still for a moment, Xander giving her the time she needed to let their conversation soak in. Willow reached over after a few minutes, and took another crayon from the cup. She stretched her arm across the butcher paper and wrote in red a perfect 'T', next to the X'd out, circled 'T'. Xander smiled to himself.

"I haven't even asked you about your life." She said, without looking up.

"It's okay. More important things to talk about."

She grimaced and looked to him. They stared at each, friends for so many years and she nodded her head, allowing him that. "So how's Julie?"

"Ah, Julie. Well, I don't know, we broke up."

"What? When?" Willow asked surprised.

"A few days ago. Didn't want to bother you with it, was a mutual thing, we're both fine... Actually, very glad to be 'Xander: Single Man', again."

Willow evaluated him, trusting that if he needed to talk to her about it he would. They allowed a comfortable silence to settle, each lost in their own thoughts, taking sips of cool coffee. Xander finally looked over at Willow mischievously. "So... you're absolutely positive Tara's gay?" Willow's brow furrowed and she stared at him in wary confusion. "Cause, I'm single now, and I like horses--"

"Jerk." She said, swatting him and smiling beside herself as he mock winced in pain. They again let themselves sit, quietly, comfortably. Just two old friends finishing up their cups of coffee on a slow Saturday morning.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:43 am 
EasierSaid,



Wow, I am completely and utterly ADDICTED to your story. I love this part especially, because you wrote Xander so well! He is so insightful in a basic, completely adorable way. And Willow is so blinded by her fear that she can't see anything else. What I really love about this story is that is feels so real. I can go to all of my gay friends and they can relate stories very similar to Willow's. Coming out is so damn hard. It's bad enough falling in love, but trudging through gaydom at the same time is exponentially difficult. I really hope you take this story much further and longer, because I love your style and story telling. I am waiting patiently for more!



:peace

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:58 am 
That was super!!!! Xander showing Willow how she should ahndle the situation and making her actually SEE it... why it needs to be done...brilliant!!!!

Quote:
"You and your different colors..."


Quote:
"Look, you're a sum of your parts, and one of the reasons why I love your sum, is because I've loved your parts."




:lmao :lmao :lmao :lol :lol :lol



Great update!!! And you update on daily basis...you are spoiling us!!!!:grin



Thanks!

:peace :heart

M.



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:30 am 




Awwww, now THAT'S why Xander is Willow's best friend. He's such a great guy!

That update was real funny too! :lmao



I love this fic so much! Is Willow gonna go see Buffy now?! I hope Buffy isn't too disappointed....



Oh looksie i'm creating a story in my head, MORE!?



Take care



Stace xXx

"Um...dont mean to ruin the sexcapades...but we need the chips out there. Xanders being a chip whore." -She's my always by spikeizmine87



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 Post subject: wow...
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:46 am 
wow...Xander is giving wise advice to Willow. Very interesting! Hehehehe...



Oh well, hope everything goes well! Love your story!



Please continue?



photographer02



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:49 am 
Now, this was an awesome update.

I really liked the interaction between them and I'm looking forward for the things to come.



for example: coming out to Buffy, getting to know Tara, beeing gay with Tara :whistle



Oh and: C.O. :lmao



Insanity

German Fanfiction

It's always sudden! Tara; the body



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:35 am 
How do I love this fic, let me count the ways... :clap



All the tension between Willow and Tara is putting my stomach into knots, but in a good way because I'm really keen to see how it all gets worked out. Tara's paranoia about Willow thinking she's making a pass at her is perfect, just what I would be thinking in that situation. And the dream...:drool



I also love your depictions of Xander and Buffy, particularly Xander. He gets dragged across the coals a lot in fic, so it's nice to see his sensitive side. His identification of Willow's dilemma was so accurate, and his ability to talk to her on her level, different coloured pens and all, was priceless.



Can't wait for more of this!



Cheers,

mo

No matter how short life may seem, it's still the longest thing you'll ever do.



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:53 am 
Xander's the best! :D Bless him. He said all the right things to Willow. Awesome. Now, i hope Willow's listens to him, so she will soon be able to "be gay with Tara". :D :laugh

Great update as always!



snuggle79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.





Edited by: snuggle79 at: 9/12/04 5:02 am


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:00 am 
So, I finally click on this fic, after several days of looking at the title and thinking "Peter Pan uber? Or something having to do with Michael Jackson?" ('cause the second one...ewwww.)



And what do I get but one of the best stories I've seen here in a while. Boy, you never can tell...



Love the setting, the backstories of college and New York. I halfway expected to see Bryan, not Xander, in that last update (although Xander's little illustrated Lesbianism for Dummies was great! To me, half the mark of a good W/T fic is how well one writes the other characters).



As for the Willow-jilling-off-Tara-massage-and-finding-the-Bad-Hand-dream-sequence. Ohhhh. If I could reach you through my keyboard, I would spank you. That was a naughty thing to do. (Granted, them doing it then was too early in the story, but jeezus...) :punish :gnome :banana



I'll be checking here from time to time for updates. Don't disappoint me. :) Fantastic stuff.:bounce

_________________



"Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway."



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 9:58 am 
You gotta love Xander! :heart Hopefully all his talking worked and Willow will finally let Tara get to know her.



Being gay with Tara. :lmao



*lil´c*

"I am S-E-X-Y" Amber at the FedCon



Sweet Amber ~~~ Amber Board ~~~ Danielle Benson ~~~ Danielle Benson France ~~~ Danielle Board



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 10:12 am 
Aww :luv I simply love the connection between Willow and Xander and im so glad you decided to go into it in this fic! Xander really nailed Willow's problem on the head! I hope Willow takes Xander's advice to heart.. maybe Tara will feel much more at ease when Willow befriends her.. and doesnt go all avoidy girl on her all of the time!



Another great update Heather! I can't wait for more :D



Jackie

---

Ooo I feel just like santa except thinner and younger and female and...well Jewish- Willow



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 11:15 am 
Yesss... Update !! :bounce



Keeps on getting better and better.. Me likes more and more !



If I start doing the dishes for you, will you then keep the updates coming ( and make Willow tell Tara how she feels about her )?? :flirt

:whistle



Can't wait for your update.. again.. :)



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 11:18 am 
Hey again,

I love this update. Finally Willow has a connection with someone who she trusts. And that's something I love about this fic. Usually Xander is portrayed as being irretrievably stupid or close. But this Xander is very close to cannon-Xander. That's his gift: he can see things and explain them. He's right on target with his advice to Willow too. His point about Willow not letting Tara know her is just what I was trying to say. At this point she doesn't have a relationship with the blonde at all.



His advice to Willow is wonderful although I see some potential drawbacks. First is that Willow is a major spaz. Surely she won't be able to casually return from her panicked weekend to smoothly get to know Tara and let Tara get to know her. I can picture it:



Tara: "Hi Willow. Um, did you have a good break? um?"



Willow: "Oh yeah. Sure. Sureity sure. Very good and relaxing and relaxy type talking with a friend. Hey, so tell me about what you did over the weekend. And don't leave anything out..."



Then Tara thinks Willow's lost her bloody mind ...



The other is that if/when Willow comes out to Buffy, there's no way Buff will be able to keep her nose out of it. Either she reacts with rejection that Willow isn't who she thought she was, or she feels hurt that Willow didn't trust her enough to tell her before this, or she questions Willow until Willow admits her feelings for Tara, or Buffy says to herself, "gee who would I set Willow up with? : Tara!" Then Buffy becomes a major pain in the ass to both of them as she decides that she knows a secret and will now embark on her mission. Either way: Boo!



I can hardly wait for the next update and am glad that your writing is going smoothly. Sometimes that's all you can beg of the Muse.

MoveOn.Org

American Civil Liberities Union

Human Rights Campaign



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 12:04 pm 
Wow Xander actually made a point... Wow i'm speechless... He made so many good points in his little talk... All of it would work in real life and thats a bit creepy, yet cool... any way this line summed it all up for me...

Quote:
"Tara didn't 'make' you gay, your gayness has nothing to do with Tara. "Tara didn't 'make' you gay, your gayness has nothing to do with Tara .The only 'gay' connection between you and Tara is that she's the one you want to be gay with."
...

If u really think about that.. for any person.. its true.. Because one person can't really do something like that... hell its kinda like a process to coming out.. Which would include to urself... that u find the same sex attractive... In which Willow did in high school when she came out... So had nothing to do with Tara, she wasn't even there...:D okay i'm done now... Great update...



-reds:willow



my banana dances for smut :banana

Tara in a wet shirt, Tara in a wet shirt. Tara in. A. Wet. Shirt. “Of course.”-Willow From Remember to Breath By Yellow Crayon



Now that just sucks- me

Edited by: WickedReds at: 9/12/04 11:11 am


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 12:38 pm 
AAAGGGHHH!Poor Willow!!Poor Tara!!I wanna cry.Tara isn't gonna end up throwing away those eggs and veggies is she?Maybe when Willow comes back and Tara can cut up some more only this time,Willow can lick the juice off Taras hand?Oh well!!I wonder if Buffy has a clue about Willow?How could she not?More soon please!!

Rose



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:06 pm 
Ahh...wonderful update, but still so much miscommunication. I feel so sorry for Tara especially since she's totally clueless as to Willow's actions. And also for Willow. I actually like Xander's advice. She needs to let Tara know who she is and then go from there.



So, of course you know we'll keep coming back for more because we can't wait to see how you're going to resolve this dilemma.



More soon please!



Wimpy

"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:19 pm 
I must admit that 'Micheal Jackson' was the first thing this fic's title reminded me off :) Could be fun if Tara were to be succesfull singer with her own amusement park :lol



Although I understand WHY Willow had to get away from Tara to think things through, she did it in the worst way possible. Or at least the worst timing, where will poor Tara go to talk with ? I would hate for Tara to be doubting herself all weekend, that would be awfull actually :cry . The only hopefull note there was that Willow did want to 'fix' it but didn't know how.



Speaking of awfull; I need to have a 'talk' with Sheila Rosenberg :smash :smash . I can't for the life of me figure out why parents would be 'disappointed' in learning their kids are gay, probably just me. Does Willow's dad even know and if so how did he react ?



Interesting that appearantly Buffy was never told any of this, even though it happened two years ago. I always view Xander/Willow/Buffy as a fairly close group of friends, guess there is some difference between them after all.



I liked Xander in this update. Trust me, that takes very good writing :) . It's good Willow has at least one person to talk with and figure things out. Lines like these were fun too: "You can't be gay with Tara if she thinks you're straight." -- and verrrry to the point.



I do hope Tara has someone like that too, keeping all your fears/emotions inside isn't healthy. Poor girl, hopefully she's not alone all weekend :cry .



Oh yeah, that fast updates are nice too :lol



Grimmy :wave

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine



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 Post subject: -sighs happily.-
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 3:40 pm 
-Finally realizes that .. ( even thought I should have known before .. you know .. when I clicked upon ' favorites ' and ' different colored pens ' and then on ' NEVERLAND ' ) that everything shall be okay.





That entire interaction was adorable. I loved it. Xander and Willow's best friendliness is so cute .. and Xander got kinda insightful. Anyway, the entire way you worked out this chapter was brilliant. And now I shall sit here impatiently, -crawls into her lap,- and tug at your shirt for an update.. -pout.-



xx! kristi. ( p.s. you can call me kristi, you know. ) :dance



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 Post subject: Re: -sighs happily.-
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:40 pm 
Hey, I get to leave feedback without starting with 'Argh!' - yay! That was a very engaging chapter, and a refreshing dose of sanity and optimism. Let's hope Willow will take it to heart. Of course, when she left Tara was mightily upset and just going back to bed, probably to cry to herself... :cry (now you've got me started). And while Willow has gotten a good, level view of herself from Xander, I'm not sure whether she's reassessed Tara's behaviour towards her in light of not being hideously depressed and expecting the worst. Will she realise that Tara might indeed be into her in a kisses and gay love way? Or, if she gets back and finds Tara all sad and reserved, will she get discouraged without realising *why* she's sad?



I'm in awe of how you've written Xander. In just one chapter you've drawn his character easily as effectively as the show did in all its seven years (and you didn't periodically mess it up, which is a neat bonus :) ). On the surface he seems unremarkable, but nothing could be further from the truth - he's a great friend and a really good person.



Looking forward to more, even though I do have my suspicions that the angst ain't over yet :)

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.



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 Post subject: Re: -sighs happily.-
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:42 pm 
oh wow...yea that update was probably one of the best youve had as of yet...your depiction of xander made me remember why i liked him on the show...and the connection between him and willow is totally apparent and well written...you can tell that he really cares about her, and yet he still manages to get in some slightly pervy thoughts...good ole xander!!



so now that willows finally realizing what needs to be done...its time for her to go and beg and grovel and promise mass amounts of gay lovin' to tara!! yay!!



~mel:kdevil

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan



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 Post subject: Huh
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:33 pm 
You know .. I've never really liked Xander. He was kinda good in season 1, 4 and 5 .. but season 2, 3 and 6 were mostly about jealous, whiny, hypocritical and annoying-the-hell-out-of-me Xander. (haven't seen season 7 or anything beyond 619 in fact) Hence the me not really liking him...but your update has made me re-evaluate the dude. Not an easy feat ;)

x Tinna Karen



"You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way outta this one." - Willow in Pangs



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 11:02 pm 
Oh jeez woman, this update was beyong amazing. Xander is frickin awesome here and he just told Willow everything that she needed to hear, and now she can go and get done everything that needs to be done! Whoot for Xander! GO on and be gay with Tara, Will! :lol



I so can't wait for the next update!!!! :D

Ashleigh

"...A-and I'm gonna make it up to you. Starting right now."

(Starts to smile)"Right now?"



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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 11:34 pm 
Wow, I really enjoyed the last two updates. First with Willow trying to sneak out unnoticed, only to have Tara on a completly different wavelength, trying to break some doors down with her breakfast meal.



Willow having to face her fear and shyness, well both girls having to face their fears and shyness. Two months is a long time to live with someone, and not get to know eachother, they must be scared to death of rejection.



Poor Tara, with all the yummy food ready, a perfect time to become more friendly, but I undersatnd Willow not being ready yet. I am glad she was able to come out to Xander, who is doing quite well under the circumstance.



I am waiting in excitement for your next update. I love the roads you've travelled here, the panic.



Thank you EasierSaid :flower :love :flower



frau

:kgeek

Edited by: frau rosenclay at: 9/12/04 10:39 pm


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Neverland
PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:58 am 
Wow, I go away for the weekend and come back to 3 updates. Yay! Can I just say again how great this fic is? Your writing is really wonderful. Now on to some comments;



First, the dream was HOT! And I fell for it right up until the alarm went off. Here I was thinking they were getting all brave. :D



Second, the morning after was so painful. Tara making coffee and Willow just bailing. It left Tara so confused, wondering what she had done wrong. That chapter was tough to read.



Third, go Xander! Talk some sense into that girl! It was great to see Willow finally open up and discuss her feelings. W&T have been so hard on themselves about how they are interacting together. Too much thinking and second guessing, not enough talking. Hopefully now that will change. Can't wait to see Willow come out to Buffy and Tara :D



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 Post subject: replies
PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 12:11 pm 
pipsberg Is it okay that when I read "addicted" I thought of Robert Palmer? *sigh* Oh wait, wait-- mmmm Robert Palmer video girls... Okay, better. Your post was great, thank you. Realism is really what I'm going for here, why I didn't include the magic. I guess I wanted to get into the complex nature of falling in love with social expectations. Willow's coming out on the show was so brief, everyone's reactions so quick. "You're gay?! Okay, let's kill Adam." The characters are great to work with, as everyone is, at their core, good--so the reactions aren't hateful, just confused, hurt, etc. Emotions we've all experienced, one way or another. Thanks again for the kind, insightful words, very much appreciated.



YMKA So glad you got a laugh! I tend to be a little more comfortable writing the pain, so the fact that a few giggles slipped through is great to hear. And yes, daily updates--have I set a completely unrealistic pace? Haha, we'll see if I breakdown at the end of the week... "No... more... W/T!" Eh, like that's gonna happen... Thanks!



Wired vixen I love Xander. Just absolutely love him. The show only showed brief flashes of his potential (S7 watchers, feel free to snort at the bad pun) and lord knows fic hasn't always been kind. Willow's a special girl, it's only right that the person she chose to remain close with for so many years is equally special. As for Buffy... don't look for the big "I'm coming out, I want the world to know" scene just yet... Willow's still Willow, and talking to Buffy's going to take some working up to. :) Thanks for reading.



photographer02 Thanks! And yes, definitely will continue, hopefully in a direction that you continue to enjoy. :)



Insanity I too, am looking forward to the "being gay" part--Willow deserves it, darn it! And C.O.--that's I used to call it with friends. "Did you hear so-and-so C.O.'d?" Like they O.D.'d or something... Yeah, I'm a dork.



Modjadji Hola Mo! I've felt what Tara's feeling before, that insane situation where you want to move forward and backtrack at the same time. So confusing. I completely agree re: Xander in ficland, which is why I wanted use him here. He is a fundamentally good man (in my mind at least), and I wanted to show that. Thanks very much for the kind words.



snuggle79 Xander *is* the best, haha! I'm so glad you liked him, I was a little nervous, knowing his reputation was less than stellar in the W/T ficworld, but so far, so good! And yes, being gay with Tara -- kinda gives you the warm and tinglies, eh? Thanks, as always.



CaptMurdock I have a confession to make. There is a small Peter Pan tie in, although it's subtle and won't be discussed in any real way for a loooong time. Don't worry though, no one will be flying, or singing about crocodiles. Unless there's a dream... no, no--better to just say no. ;) And Michael Jackson... should have seen my face when I put two and two together with that one (never crossed my mind). Aside from the Pan tie-in, I chose the title because so many people in this fic think stuff can "never happen"--it's a neverland, of sorts. And yes, I realize that's lame. Can I take a moment to say how surprised I'd be if a hand came through my screen and spanked me. I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy it, just... you know. Some shock would be involved. So glad you like the story so far, especially your compliment re: writing the supporting characters. I so totally agree that its an important part of W/T fic.



littlecrazy80 You do gotta love Xander; in fact, I demand it! (Just kidding.) People seem to be enjoying the "being gay with" line, which is so awesome. Yay!



WillowRTaraM1 Hey Jackie. I too love their connection, and so very badly wanted to expand on what the show had set down as a foundation for them. So glad you enjoyed, and thanks for posting, so much.



Nicole023 If you start doing my dishes for me I will marry you. Seriously. (I *hate* doing dishes, even if my hands feel Palmolive soft afterwards). Updates definitely rolling along, Willow telling Tara about her feelings... slowly but surely. Thanks for reading!



JustSkipIt Hey there. So glad you liked the update, especially since you were the one that noticed what Willow had been missing up to this point! I adore Xander, and really wanted to show him using his gift (as you pointed out). I think of him as someone who is very perceptive, someone who sincerely wants his loved ones to be okay on all levels, even if that means they need to hear things they don't want to hear. You're right, he is often portrayed as being stupid, which is sad considering that a) he's Willow's self-identified best friend, so surely he's special in some way and b) he's a young straight man surrounded by women. Guys gonna put his foot in his mouth (probably often and in public), but that doesn't make him evil. Just Xander.

And yes, Willow the Spaz (TM) will be thoroughly unable to completely adopt Xander's guide to good gay living. She'll try to, no doubt, in her own Willow-way, hopefully succeeding most of the time (but not all the time, because...what fun is that?!). As for Buffy... major obstacle for both girls, even though she has no idea she's in the way. Buffy's reaction... not quite sure, but I'm confident that she'll be a good version of Buffy (not freaky, controlly Buffy). We'll see. Thanks for your continued insightful feedback, and for reading, of course!



WickedReds Yeah, that line was important for me to include because I really wanted *someone* to say that on the show. But nope. Oh well, at least it was said somewhere, haha. So glad you enjoyed the update.



hondosfirst Hiya Rose. Yeah, I worry about the veggies too. Woman didn't even use Saran Wrap when she was putting that stuff away! *sigh* And Buffy? No clue about Willow's gayness, as the next update will show. Thanks for reading.



wimpy0729 So much pain, and all because they're human and scared. We are an odd race. Hopefully I don't disappoint in future updates; this next one has me really nervous... we'll see how it goes over. :



Grimlock72 Another Michael Jackson reference - I'm so lame for not thinking about that when I picked the title. No, no singing or amusement parks for Tara. Or Willow. In fact, the only thing even remotely Michael Jackson-like in this fic will be the massive amounts of plastic surgery each girl will undergo before the conclusion. (Kidding, of course.) Willow did leave at a bad time for W/T, and for Tara, but probably the best time for Willow herself, you know? Had to get out. And Shelia is like a lot of parents; loving, but unable to make the leap into acceptance (in my world at least). Hopefully this next update will address why Buffy doesn't know. I can't promise it's a good reason, in fact, it's probably a completely maudlin reason, but it's the one that came to me and it seemed to work within the confines of the overall story. And so glad you liked Xander. He can be pretty smart, when he's not being stupid. Thanks so much for reading, really appreciate it.



willowhanded I'm like a mob boss Kristi (look at me, using the name), "That bad stuff, fuggetaboutit. I'll take care of yous." Can't promise things won't get rough, but I'm all about the luuuuurve. Need a happy ending, for sure.



Artemis Chris! We have some see-saw action taking place. Willow's mellowing out, just as Tara's hitting a low point. You asked if Willow will get discouraged if she sees sad Tara... is the sky blue my friend? As JustSkipIt pointed out, Willow's a spaz. : As for Willow reevaluating previous encounters...I think she's going to look forward, worrying that if she looks back she'll project feelings, if that makes sense. Lordy, what a mess. And thanks for the very very kind words re: my Xander. "He's a really good person" -- exactly. All of the characters in this fic are at their cores, good people, they're just stuck carrying around emotional restraints that sometimes make it seem otherwise. Thanks again Chris, for wonderful feedback as always.



alysagoddesss85 Oh, so very glad you liked Xander, pervy thoughts and all. ;) Willow will definitely be gunning for the gay love, in a very roundabout way. Hope you enjoy what's to come!



tinnakaren Yeah, ME had a habit of going weird with Xander on occasion (like all their main characters, actually). I hoped to show his best side--hopefully you'll be able to suspend canon-Xander from your mind when you read future updates! Thanks for reading, truly.



VixenyTarasHot *Big blush* Well shucks, and I'll second that "whoot for Xander!" So glad my boy's getting the love, means a lot. Thanks very much for reading.



frau rosenclay Yeah, did Willow get nailed on her way out or what? Try to be sly, sneak out and boom! Blows up on her. And Tara... she must be wondering what the license plate was on the Mack truck that hit her. (My guess? 'FutzdWil'.) Thanks very much for your words, really appreciate it.



Irishgrl3 Thanks, thanks, thanks. :) All of your comments, thanks. Glad you thought the dream was HOT (hehe, all caps), first time I had attempted such salacious material. And yes, poor Tara. This next update will get into how she handles the weekend without Willow. And Xander. *dreamy sigh* Such a good guy. The coming out... definitely down the road, but there nonethelesss. Thanks again for reading!



Okey doke folks, time to update. Little nervous about this next one, hopefully it doesn't completely jump the shark.



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