My goodness. I can barely see this thread through all the flying panties. And yes, tiger stripes are nice. In fact, they're grrrrrreeeeat! Okay, that was my really bad Tony the Tiger impression. Ooo, look at all the pretty colors floating in front of my eyes. That's what I get for taking Wolflord's advice about the Nyquil. I'll get to replies as soon as my head stops spinning - though Tulipp, I'm glad you liked the demon!
That was my demented way of showing appreciation for your writing.
Okay, this update is a gift, cuz I could have been all evil with some angst, but I didn't. So enjoy, cuz I think this may be the only truly angst-free chapter in this entire story. Sorry it took so long.
Bring on the smoochies! But no, no sex. Not yet. Stay calm, people!
-BB
Title: The Truth of Deception - Part 13: Crazy Love
Author: blameburner
Feedback: Sure… Always a plus
Summary: AU, baby! So you all know by now... Tara is part of the Initiative. Plenty of questions remain, however, and the answers will be revealed... eventually.
Spoiler Warning: S4. Everything up to "Hush" is canon. After that, this story veers off. There will be some similarities to S4, but definite differences. Basically, if it happened after "Hush" on the show, assume it
didn't happen unless I mention it specifically.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, but oh how I wish they were! Joss, blah, blah, ME, blah, blah.
Rating: Generally R, but some NC-17 (maybe). Just be prepared.
Pairings: W/T, of course.
Angst: None. Zero, nada, zilch. It's all puppies and kittens. And smoochies.
Previously...Willow loved Tara. Willow Rosenberg had fallen madly, deeply, passionately in love with Tara MaClay. That was the truth, and it was the only truth that really mattered.
Willow might not have the strength or courage to face her friends and family just yet, but for Tara, she knew she would in time.
If Tara wanted her. Did Tara want her?
**************************
Suddenly, Willow knew. She knew what she had always known. It was what it was, and she would risk everything for it.
Willow started running, but this time she knew exactly where she was running to.
She was running to Tara.
Part 13Tara was still sitting in the chair by the window. She hadn't moved in nearly an hour. She couldn't move. All she could do was sit and think. Think of Willow.
She didn't know what to do. At first she had felt utter despair. She feared that by kissing Willow, she had lost her forever.
But Willow had kissed Tara, hadn't she? Willow had been the one... and Tara had responded. Didn't that mean something? Didn't that mean that at least a part of Willow... wanted Tara?
So why had she run?
Was it because Willow was scared, scared of her own feelings, scared of being gay? Or maybe it was just that Willow realized that she didn't want Tara after all?
It was the second thought that worried Tara the most. Willow's fears about being gay, well Tara could deal with those. She could wait for Willow to come to terms with it, could help Willow through it. But if Willow had realized she didn't really like Tara...
A frantic knock at the door broke Tara out of her thoughts. She started to get up to go and answer the door, but apparently she took too long, because the door burst open.
"Willow?" Tara asked as Willow charged into the room. Before Tara could say anything, Willow's hands were in Tara's hair and the redhead was kissing her.
Tara wanted to resist, to pull back and find out what was going on, but she was powerless.
If this is goodbye, I'll take all I can get, she thought. Of their own accord, her hands moved to Willow's waist, pulling her closer.
Willow moved her mouth hungrily over Tara's, devouring the blonde's. She wanted, needed, to make Tara understand with that kiss, to show her how badly she wanted her. How desperately she needed her. How completely she loved her.
This kind of hungry, absolute, crazy love was new for Willow. It was nothing like she had ever felt before, like nothing she had ever even dreamed of. Yet here it was, consuming her, making her complete.
It wasn't that she wasn't a whole person. Willow was whole, able to stand alone. Yet Tara made Willow complete. She brought out parts of Willow that the redhead didn't even know existed. Passion. Courage. Wit. Lust. Strength. Love. Most of all, love.
Over the past month, Willow had changed. She had become something more, something better than she ever could have been before loving Tara. Her mind might not have accepted that Willow was in love with Tara, but her heart and soul were fully aware, and had long ago accepted that gift. Loving Tara had brought out the Willow in Willow.
With air quickly becoming an issue, Willow pulled back and broke the kiss. She held Tara's face in her hands, forcing the blonde to look deeply into Willow's eyes and know that she was speaking the truth.
"I love you," Willow said without hesitation, her voice clear and true. No matter what, she was going to make certain Tara knew how she felt.
Tara started to speak, but Willow silenced her with a finger over her lips. "Shh, don't say anything. I love you, Tara. I didn't expect it, I certainly wasn't looking for it, but I found it just the same. With you. I don't know how you feel, but I know you feel something. I know it, in here," she said, moving the hand that had been covering Tara's lips to her own chest. "Every time you look at me or talk to me or touch me, I know it. You don't have to love me yet, because I know... I know more than I've ever known anything in my life, that we belong together. I'll wait as long as it takes..."
Tara felt like she was going to burst. She put her hands on either side of Willow's face. "But I already do, Willow," she said with tears in her eyes. "I do love you."
Willow couldn't believe it, couldn't believe she was hearing the words. "You do?" she asked, a hopeful smile growing on her face.
"Oh, yeah," Tara said, her own smile lighting her features. "I do." She paused. She had to be sure, give Willow one last chance... "Are you sure you..."
Willow silenced Tara's question with a tender kiss. Both women were holding each other's faces, stroking, caressing. It was as if they were each trying to make sure the other was real.
"Oh, I'm very sure," Willow said, practically giddy even as she shed her own tears. "I'm very much with the sure. Totally, positively, completely, surely with the sure."
Tara laughed the laugh of pure joy, her love and hope seeping out of her soul and taking the form that came the closest to expressing the pureness of her happiness.
Willow kissed Tara again in quick, firm pecks, all over Tara's face - on her eyelids, on her cheeks, on her nose, her chin, her forehead, finally landing on her lips over and over again. Both women were laughing between kisses, crying with joy, drunk on their love.
But when Willow's lips once again found Tara's, passion sparked, their love igniting the flames of desire. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty, only the truth of their need to express their love.
Their bodies molded together as their mouths became one, moving together in perfect syncronicity. Tara sucked on Willow's bottom lip as the redhead sucked on the blonde's upper one. Their mouths met over and over, searching deeper and deeper. Their tongues met and slid over each other in a hot, pulsating rhythm they each knew by heart.
Both girls slowed their movements, finally breaking the kiss and resting their foreheads together and allowing their breathing to return to normal.
"Is this real?" Tara whispered. "I'm afraid I'm asleep and this is all a dream."
Willow leaned back slightly so she could look into Tara's eyes.
"No, it's no dream, baby," Willow said, her voice thick with emotion. To think she had denied them this for so long because she was too afraid to deal with her feelings... it was almost too much to bear. "I've been asleep for far too long. But I'm awake now."
Tara stroked Willow's cheek with the back of her hand, her knuckles grazing the redhead's soft skin. Then Tara leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Willow's lips. Willow smiled, her eyes full of love.
"I love it when you do that," Tara said softly.
Willow cocked her head slightly. "What? When I kiss you?" she asked, grinning. "Cuz I plan on doing that a lot from now on."
Tara laughed lightly and kissed Willow again.
"Oh, I definitely love it when you kiss me," Tara said. "But that's not what I was talking about."
Willow furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What, then?"
Tara gave her a lop-sided grin and bit her lower lip. She looked at Willow shyly.
"I love it when you call me 'baby,'" Tara said quietly.
Willow grinned back at her, but then confusion covered her face once again.
"Wait... when have I ever called you 'baby'? Other than a minute ago, I mean?" Willow asked.
Tara blushed. "Um... that first night you stayed? In the morning... I said your name, and you said, 'Yeah, baby.'"
Now it was Willow's turn to blush. "I did? Really?"
Tara bit her lower lip again and nodded. "You were kind of... um... frisky?"
Willow gulped. "Frisky? Um... I'm afraid to ask, but... what did I do?"
"You, uh... well you... you kinda... um... kissed my neck?" Tara said.
"Really?" Willow asked with a squeak. "Oh boy..."
"And you licked me," Tara added, grinning devilishly.
"Oh God..." Willow groaned. "I did? And you didn't throw me out of bed for that?"
Tara just had to laugh at Willow's stricken expression.
"Why would I throw you out of bed for that?" Tara asked, still laughing. "It turned me on - big time."
Willow smiled, her chest puffing up with pride just a bit. "Really?"
"You have no idea," Tara admitted, her voice dropping a notch. "It was all I could do not to flip you onto your back and take you right then and there."
Willow's eyes flashed with desire and she just had to kiss Tara again. Tara responded, welcoming Willow's questing tongue.
The intensity of the moment, the joy and relief and passion both women felt at finally having what their hearts had truly wanted for so long, threatened to overwhelm Tara. She started to feel light headed and her knees were getting a little weak.
"Um... Willow?" Tara asked between kisses. "Sweetie? Can we... sit? Please?"
Willow searched her love's face, suddenly worried. "What's wrong? Tara? Oh baby, you look a little flushed!" Willow went into panic mode, briskly ushering Tara over to the side of the bed. She pushed the blonde down rather abruptly at the head of the bed, and then grabbed Tara's legs, swinging them up and dumping them on the bed.
Tara was trying very hard not to laugh. Willow was simply too adorable when she went into panic mode, especially when she did so over Tara.
Once Willow had settled Tara back against the headboard, she ran over to grab a blanket - and she started babbling. "I should have noticed you look flushed... and pale... yes, flushed and pale at the same time... wait... can you be flushed and pale at the same time? Well you must be able to be both cuz look at you! You are both and both can't be good..."
Willow was still babbling to no one in particular as she spread the blanket over Tara's legs and then ran out of the room. That caught Tara totally off guard. She was about to call after Willow when the redhead came bustling back into the room with a glass of water.
"...and of course it isn't good when your both at the same time and what kind of girlfriend am I that I didn't notice sooner? You could have fallen down and I wouldn't have even noticed!"
Willow set the glass on the night stand, and then spun back around, once again heading for the door. This time, however, Tara was prepared. With lightning speed she reached out her right hand and grabbed Willow's left wrist, forcing the babbling redhead to stop walking - and babbling.
"Sweetie, calm down," Tara said with an easy smile, trying to soothe the redhead. Willow, however, was not about to be soothed.
"But, but, but..." Willow sputtered, pulling against Tara's hand. "...but you! With the pale and the flush and-"
But Tara was having none of it. With a devilish grin and a flick of her wrist, Tara flipped Willow over her own lap and flat onto the redhead's back on the bed. Tara followed her down, twisting her own body to hover over Willow. Tara still had Willow's left wrist in her right hand, and she pressed it into the bed next to fiery hair. Gently Tara laid her other hand on Willow's hip, effectively trapping the redhead beneath her.
"I was just a little dizzy, Willow. Your kisses have that effect on me," Tara said with a sensual smile. "They make all the blood in my head rush to... other parts of my body." Her voice had dropped down to barely a whisper, and she was nuzzling Willow's cheek with her nose.
Willow's mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide. At first it had been from Tara's little flip-and-roll maneuver... now it was because she had lost all rational thought, including the ability to tell her mouth to close.
"Feeling a little dizzy myself, here," Willow mumbled. Then she gulped. She really, really liked Sexy Assertive Tara.
Oh boy..."Mmmm," Tara murmured, then leaned in to nuzzle Willow's ear. Willow gasped when she felt Tara's tongue peek out and delicately trace the shell of her ear. Tara pulled back slightly and looked down into Willow's eyes. Willow's eyes were full of desire, but what caught Tara's complete attention was the absolute love and adoration she saw there.
Tara released Willow's wrist and slid her hand up so that their palms met, intertwining their fingers. Willow lifted her other hand and brushed Tara's hair back behind her ear, and then cupped Tara's cheek with her palm. Tara leaned down as Willow lifted her head, and they met in the middle in a kiss of pure devotion.
They stayed like that for a while, simply kissing softly and staring into each others depths. Finally Willow stopped with a gentle touch of fingers to Tara's lips. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering herself. She needed to explain to Tara why she had run away that afternoon. And why she had come back.
"What is it?" Tara asked softly, her eyes never breaking from Willow's.
"I'm sorry, Tara," Willow said gently. She wanted to explain to Tara, to tell her so that there was nothing between them but their love. "About before. About running away. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know I did."
Tara looked at Willow, confused. Then she realized what Willow was talking about. "It's okay, Willow. I understand."
"Maybe you understand, but it's not okay," Willow said, shaking her head. "It's not okay because I hurt you. And I never want to hurt you. Not ever, baby."
Tara smiled softly, waiting for Willow to continue.
"It wasn't you. I just... I got scared. I mean, here was this thing I wanted so badly, but couldn't even admit that I wanted. To you. To myself. And I just... freaked," Willow said apologetically. "When I kissed you... I couldn't deny it anymore. I couldn't deny how much I wanted you. How much I needed you."
Tara understood. She really did. Admitting that you loved someone was difficult enough, but add the fact that you loved someone of the same sex, especially for the first time - and it changed everything.
"And it was like I just needed to think about it for a minute, you know?" Willow continued. "In that moment, I had to decide whether I was going to pretend it didn't exist... or embrace it," she said, echoing Tara's words from the Bronze.
Tara smiled again and looked down for a moment. It was so surreal, the fact that they were lying there, having this conversation, in each other's arms. Tara felt incredibly blessed.
"I just... I couldn't admit that I loved you... until I admitted I was gay," Willow said. "Once I did that... everything else just fell into place. I'm just sorry it took me so long to get here."
"It's okay, Willow," Tara said, kissing her lightly. "All that matters is that you're here now."
"No," Willow said, smiling back at the woman she loved. "All that matters is that
we're here. Together."
Tara nodded and sealed Willow's words with a kiss.
**************************
TBC with Part 14: The Calm
"I feel like someone ran me down with a car, and then got out to give me a really great pair of shoes." - sassyeggsglobal
by Grimaldi » Tue Oct 08, 2002 8:49 am 
that was some kiss 
I can wait patiently!
Aly xxx 
Finally Willow realizes she's in Love and w/ Tara! Sooo Great, she just needs to get her butt to Tara and quick! 
The story is really coming together. 
How does black sound? With just a little...........
I haven't heard commando in a while!
(instead of just under someone 
You. Hmmmm Like-em, alot, especially when I can take-em off of someone.....is it getting warm in here??
I love the intrigue, and I really love the way W&T are progressing. That has got to be the hottest first kiss I have ever read!!! Also glad to see Walsh in the fic. Well, not WHOO&HOO happy. More like cool-development-of-an-underused-character happy. That came out well.
Anyway, can't wait for the next update!!!
WOLFLORD 
this story! Love your babbling adorable Willow, really loving assertive Tara, loved the smoochies, loved it all. But I'm with The Rose24 on this one, I hope Tara comes clean before the flying panties. More soon, yes? 