FIC: The Edge of Silence

[HOPE REIGNS]

Wow, that's way better than coffee and a cigarette in the morning!! For me I mean. I wonder what the other surrounding neighbors are thinking about this whole competition. If Tara isn't careful, she may start some sort of a epidemic there at the Hall, nobody would get anything done, constructively that is. Anyway, I'll stop the babble. Time for work. Fantastic update and can't wait for more. Have great day!!



Anna

Even though they are no longer here in body, their souls continue on in our hearts.

[tkheaven]

Holy Guacamole!! Five time..five FREAKIN' times...ay I think I was right there with her...



I swear, I will never be able to look and peel a mango the same ever again..

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"...

---

"I've become really protective of her. I want to make sure if Tara comes back, it's for good reason." -Amber Benson
Tara ate her, devoured her from beneath. -The Edge of Silence giving new meaning to this season's catch phrase.
"Don't get me wrong. I kinda like being the quirky nympho chick." - Michelle in 'American Pie 3'

[cassiopeia191]

OK, I won't comment on the number here but I did enjoy the update...I have to admit while I generally like the smut, I enjoy the characters almost more when they enjoy in some non-sex-activity...depends more on my mood than actually on you. I started reading this when you posted the first chapter and I can say that while it has started out strong, it has become excellent. Thanks for the entertainment!



L.

"Oh, isn't life a terrible thing, thank God?"

[Jennpurr]

Um, would it be plagiarism, if I said ditto to everything that TK just said?



DUDE, Mel...



I'm not thinking too coherent right now, so I'm going to leave now and maybe go read this again.











Thank you for making my day so much better.



Jen



More, soon??

||My Fan Fiction and More!||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Surely not every girl who had a horse grew up into a lesbian who rode tongue... ~ "The Edge of Silence," Chapter 8c, by Mel.

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 3/18/03 12:25:38 pm

[tkheaven]

*picks up Jenn from all the thudding



Nah, don't think it would but it was funny seeing all your posts being 'same as TK'...I'm imagining us with wide ass grins on our faces and you pointing at me and nodding like a maniac, "Yeap, ditto to what she just said..."

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"...

---

"I've become really protective of her. I want to make sure if Tara comes back, it's for good reason." -Amber Benson
Tara ate her, devoured her from beneath. -The Edge of Silence giving new meaning to this season's catch phrase.
"Don't get me wrong. I kinda like being the quirky nympho chick." - Michelle in 'American Pie 3'

[Jennpurr]

Hee... you just have all the right responses today. And yes, I do have a wide ass grin on my face right now...



Okay, Mel,



Maybe I can give you some more coherent feedback now. I'll try at least.



Let me start off by saying...5!!!! That was so evil of Tara. WOW... Willow didn't seem to complain though. YUM! I wouldn't either.



I really loved this chapter, if nothing more than for the visuals of Jo and Willow's faces when Tara and Dani were talking... or should I say, teasing, their respective g/f's. Such vixens they are.



I think our favorite redhead owes someone some payback though. Hmm?



You know, I know other people have already said this, but you could just feel the love pouring off of Tara. It's not just about sex, which is what I love about this fic. Thank you for portraying it that way.



Can't wait for more, Mel. Thank you, sweetie. * to Darcy*



Jen

||My Fan Fiction and More!||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Surely not every girl who had a horse grew up into a lesbian who rode tongue... ~ "The Edge of Silence," Chapter 8c, by Mel.

[singgirl]

Wow! I come back from spring break to find not just an update, but a really juicy one at that. I need to go take a cold shower now... by the way, I got my nipples pierced!!!!! (sorry, had to share)

Pax! -Bev

[Triscuit7]

Hey Kitties. I’ve had a nasty week at work, but hope to have an update before the end of the weekend. Meanwhile, here are some thank-yous.



saphire tear

Hey. I’m glad you really, really enjoyed this last update. It was fun to write. Thanks for reading.



Puff

Hey there. I’m amazed at the number of views that this update got, and the amount of feedback – over a page and a half of “wows”. So very cool. I figured that Tara had gotten teased, and since Jo set that up, then Jo should get it right back at her. Thanks again.



TemperedCynic

Hey. Is it hot in here? LOL. Hmmm – can Willow walk and sit? Um, yeah, I think so. I’m a fan of finger food myself. Foods that you dip are some of the absolute best. I had Ethiopian food last Thursday night as part of an AIDS benefit (Dining Out for Life). It’s mostly lovely spicy stews on a crepe-like bread called injera. You scoop it up with more injera and pop the whole thing in your mouth. In my opinion, it is the ultimate in finger foods. I love the stuff. And juicy fruit – well, yum. Thanks.



Cindy Lou Who

Hey Suse. Tara is fortunate in her neighbors; they could have been something else entirely, more like the neighbor I gave Dani. I do empathize with your decision to live off campus. My first dorm roommate was awful, and I ended up changing dorms – the second one was much better. And yes, those Herbal Essences ads are disturbing! Thanks.



RaiStarr

Hey. Ooooh, a thuddie. Thank you for reading and for your great comments.



WiccansIllusion

Hey. A thuddie and an almost nonverbal response. Can I say how much I love making Kittens nonverbal? Thanks.



elessar007

Hey Scott. You hit on it exactly. Both Willow and Jo are new to the “I like girls” thing; Tara and Dani have accepted it. Willow is not comfortable with it yet, but she’s slowly relaxing. Jo is new to it too, but she’s much less emotional than Willow. The opinions of others matter a lot less to Jo, and it takes a lot to rock Jo’s conception of her place in the universe. Hmmm, Willow topping Tara … oh, oops, that wasn’t quite what you wrote – but isn’t it a great visual? Thanks again.



WillowRox

Hey Shirley. ’Kay – I will add DO NOT READ AT WORK to the Rating section of each update. And you gave me a “thuddie”! Thanks.



Cindipitude

Hey Cindi. I love mangoes. They smell so good (like edible pine trees) and get sooo juicy as you eat them – I think it must be the squeezing from simply holding them. I loved Tara’s sense of humor. I have more of an Anya sense of humor myself, but occasionally I can come with the funny out of left field just like Tara. Thanks again sweetie.



SlayerSydney

Hey there. Folks assume that quiet people like Tara aren’t competitive – but they can be (I know this for a fact). I had two options for the W/T loving portion: I could break it out into two separate viewpoints (do part of it, say the first 2 Os from W’s POV and the last 3 from T’s POV) or I could weave them together into a whole. I’m glad you enjoyed the weaving and thanks for reading.



skeeter451

Hey Susan. I’m glad you enjoyed this update so much.

Quote:

---

I never thought it possible for someone to sustain that kind of writing…. How'd you do it???

---

Heee. I am sooo tempted to say I just sat and typed and thought of England, but actually this update just sort of wrote itself. I started with the first one and just kept going until Willow was finished – and no, I am not the Energizer bunny. Thanks.



Nation

Hey. Usually when I write smut, I have to take lots of breaks. The breaks often consist of wandering around the house or going into kittenchat for awhile. Sometimes I have to take a nap. This update, as I mentioned above, just kept going. Thanks.



Aradia785

Hey Ann. You have to be really careful with the placement of those crash pillows. Thanks for the thuddie and for reading.



MadeinNZ

Hey Nicky. I doubt that the 2 year old is going to really notice that you’re reading NC17 stuff, but the brother-in-law would. Poor you.

Quote:

---

This way, with you covered, she still holds you. You’re still hers.

---

For all that Dani seems outwardly recovered from her experiences with Sarah, she isn’t. It is going to take a long time for the psychological trauma from Sarah’s abuse to heal. At least Jo is a friend and can help her along. Thanks, sweetie.



shuyaku

Hey. *shakes head* I keep posting warnings and Kittens keep reading this fic at work. What ever am I to do? Methinks I’ll just keep writing. I’m sorry about your boss, but happy for your girlfriend. . Thanks.



daydreamer

Hey there. Thanks for the thuddies and for reading.



xita

Posts: 6669

Hey lovely xita. I was just looking at the number of posts attached to this feedback and well, I feel honored. 6669. Wow. I can think of all sorts of meanings for that, eg. sixty-six 69s. Now that would definitely make the participants sore. Thanks sweetie.



SilverWingedNemesis

Hey Nickole. Go Tara, go Tara, … it’s your birthday. Ooops, wrong song - or something. Yep, Tara is reluctant to go to Health Services – stay tuned for… An explanation? The denouement? More teasing? Thanks.



barnabasvamp

Hey BV. Oooh, a thuddie guy. I’m very pleased that you enjoyed this update. I’m quite fond of competition myself. Beneath my mild-mannered exterior lurks a cutthroat competitor. Thanks again.



vmpIrslAr

Hey. Sorry, it’s not an official Kitten competition, so there aren’t any entry forms. But y’all are welcome to keep count yourselves and, ahem, I think there is a Pens thread that you could post your achievements in. Last I saw that thread, it was full of flung panties. Thanks for reading.



WillowPowered

Hey Jill. *Looks stern. You did take all the necessary precautions before reading this update, right? Water and oxygen? Ice and pillows? Good. There will be more soonish. Thanks for the thuddie and for reading.



hush30

Hey Nan. *up, down, up, down*. This is what my head does when confronted with a bouncie thing. Whoa. *Slides to a stop* Tara has a talented tongue but I’m thinking even she has to be a bit tired. Thanks.



Renee85

Hey Jas. I’m glad that “Edge” is one of your faves. Thanks for all the great comments and for reading.



Nix42

Hey Nicky. Yep, it’s true, I’m afraid of fire, but in the winter I don’t mind the heat. It keeps away the chills. Thanks for reading and the thuddie guy, sweetie.



Gimpgirl

Hey Michelle. Another thuddie. Wow. This is a Willow/Tara fic, and we all know the Scoobies. I just have never believed that the Scoobies were the be-all and end-all of Willow’s and Tara’s lives, hence the intro of the neighbors and the dancing lesbians. I’m just glad that Kittens are enjoying Dani and Jo as well as Willow and Tara. What can I say except: “it’s been great.” Thanks.



TromDeGrey

Hey there. Sheesh is good – I like it. It gets your point across and that’s all it needs to do. The thing about Jo is that in addition to being a bit of a voyeur, she is a keen observer. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that she could be “in-in” if she bothered, but instead she sits back and watches from the outer edge of the in-crowd. Thanks for reading.



Vampivy

Hey Patty. Don’t feel too bad, sweetie; remember Willow and Tara had a wee nap afterwards. They didn’t get up immediately and dash for the showers. Maybe I should add “take a wee nap” to the health advisory? Never fear for Jo and Dani, they can, indeed, hold their own. Thanks again.



tiredsoul

Hey Celia. I hope you had fun in your smut coma. Notice I did not immediately latch onto the “here I come again” part of the phrase. I can show some restraint. I also may have restraints. As for the updates waiting just for you… :hm See, I think Katharyn is onto something here; she has control of the cuffs and the keys and that way you wait for her… All teasing and innuendo aside, my take on Dani is that she is all fed up with people’s sympathy and pity. She got that in abundance. What she really needs is what Jo is offering: understanding and support. And this Tara owes much to the smirking Tara of S5 when Willow asks her what she sees and Tara answers: Willowhand. Thanks sweetie.



HOPE REIGNS

Hey Anna. You’re awfully brave. Reading this before work must be every bit as difficult as reading it at work. I have to wonder too, what the boys think of Jo’s outcries. Remember, because of the spell, they didn’t hear Willow. I’m guessing that Steve might be getting a bit of an inferiority complex. Thanks.



tkheaven

Hey TK. Guacamole … yum. *has visions of avocados being sliced* Think of that, sweetie. Avocados have much the same shape as mangos and they get slick too… Thanks for reading.



cassiopeia191

Hey. There’s all sorts of smut. Some is altogether lacking in plot (PWP) and that can be fun. Personally, I like my smut with plot and characterization. If all I wanted was smut I could look at Playboy or Penthouse – of course, those women all have long fingernails, so … owww! I’m glad that I’ve achieved the second. Thanks for the great comments and for reading my fic.



Jennpurr

Hey Jenn sweetie. It’s not plagiarism if you properly cite where you got your info. Ditto to everything TK just said would work, I think, esp. since she has given her ok (wide-assed grins and all). I’m surprised that a 2nd reading is going to make you more coherent; I’d think it’d work the other way and would make you less coherent. No, Willow didn’t complain at all, but I think she may have been surprised by the intensity and frequency. And yes, Tara loves Willow, body and soul. I think Willow is beginning to get that. Thanks again and Darcy says hi.



singgirl

Hey Bev. I’m just going to assume that the nipple piercing is an indication of a really great spring break. I’m glad you really enjoyed this last update. Thanks.

******************



I brought marshmallows!

[tkheaven]

Quote:

---

Avocados have much the same shape as mangos and they get slick too…

---

..pause..pause..pause.....

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"...

---

"I've become really protective of her. I want to make sure if Tara comes back, it's for good reason." -Amber Benson
Tara ate her, devoured her from beneath. -The Edge of Silence giving new meaning to this season's catch phrase.
"Don't get me wrong. I kinda like being the quirky nympho chick." - Michelle in 'American Pie 3'

[Jennpurr]

Quote:

---

Avocados have much the same shape as mangos and they get slick too…

---

Um... *faints*







Jen

||My Fan Fiction and More!||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Surely not every girl who had a horse grew up into a lesbian who rode tongue... ~ "The Edge of Silence," Chapter 8c, by Mel.

[tkheaven]

*tk looks up..."ohh, my head...uhh, why is my hand all with the drool..oh Hey Jenn..." Methinks a thudding and fainting pile of kittens will be forming soon...if not already...

Tk's new and improved "GrrArgg"...

---

"I've become really protective of her. I want to make sure if Tara comes back, it's for good reason." -Amber Benson
Tara ate her, devoured her from beneath. -The Edge of Silence giving new meaning to this season's catch phrase.
"Don't get me wrong. I kinda like being the quirky nympho chick." - Michelle in 'American Pie 3'

[Aradia785]

TK, pile of fained kittens is juuuust to your left... if you listen, you can hear them ::cups hand behind ear:: "Whose hand is that? Would you mind moving your leg? Wow, Xitas lap IS as comfy as everyone said... No, I'm serious, WHOSE HAND IS THAT?"... see. Now, if you'll excuse me... ::dives head first into pile::



Ann

If I hear that Gong of Doom I will send stoned squirrels to raid your kitchen
- Lisa of Nine

[sam7777]

Amazing story and that last scene. Wow!



I love what you are doing in the fic and I like the contract between Willow/Tara and Dani/Jo. I'm looking forward to the big dust up when Sarah gets her comeuppance. I also can't wait to see what you do with "Where the Wilds things are". Fantastic fic.

_____________________

I see dead lesbian cliches

[hondosfirst]

Hi and Wow!

I have been gone for a while(3 months)and I just finished catching up on this one!!I love it Thanks for writing it.I was very glad to get back to this board because while I was out of commision I made the mistake of watching a new Buffy episode and I had to get back to a place where Willow stays female when she kisses another other women! !Okay then Thanks and bye

Tex Rose

[The Pineapple Head]

Melissa,



Not very often I use the word STUPIFIED to describe something. It's sort of one of those reserved Diana-isms. Kind of like a cartoon character that needs one of those cranks to reel their tongue back into their mouth and rein their eyes back into their head. Yeah, something like that. Now I don't know how I managed to miss this update and don't think I'm not kicking myself, but it most certainly made for a very pleasant Sunday afternoon.



GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!







Diana

"No, I'm not cold. I can engrave glass with my nipples, but I'm not cold."
Me

[skeeter451]

It's Tuesday...







Wondering if there's gonna be an update...

Susan



Skeeter451@mysticmuse.net

The Mystic Muse Fan Fiction Site

[The Inward Sea]

Hey, Susan, you're not alone...

Sea



"The universe is an iceberg, and all that we can see and touch just the tip above a deep sea." darkmagicwillow -the Kitten-.

[Jennpurr]

*Sneaks in and raises hand shyly*



Um... me too.



Jen

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"In an episode called, THE BODY, Willow and Tara shared a wonderful screen kiss. I was very proud that I got to represent a real deal lesbian relationship in its entirety on film. It was very meaningful to Alyson and me." ~ Amber Benson

[saphire tear]

yeah it is kinda tuesday is it not?

[Triscuit7]

Hey Kittens - My apologies for the lack of update last week - work was butt-kicking me around again. Anyway ... hopefully next week will see me back on schedule.



A few thank-yous first.



hondosfirst

Hey Texas Rose. I hope that the stuff that's kept you away for three months was at least fun stuff. I'm glad you're back and still reading. Thanks.



The Pineapple Head

Hey Diana. From all the thuddies, I'm guessing you liked that part. Thanks.



*****

Yes, it's Tuesday and yes, there is an update. This one closes out the canon segment of Superstar for which I give a gigantic YAY!



Rating is PG-13.



Angst level - um, depends on the character really. I think it gets about a 5 overall.



*******

Her tummy was nicely full, and it felt good just to be sitting in the sun. It would have been better if it had been just her and Willow. She liked her lover’s friends – she did, really – but she would rather that it were just the two of them – her and Willow – sitting on the grass having a picnic. So much had happened to her – to them – this weekend that she felt that they needed time to simply “be”.



Like Riley and Buffy, sitting together there in the shade, in casual contact. They were so obviously a couple. Whatever rift there’d been between them was apparently healed.



Like Anya and Xander, who were touching a bit more blatantly. Well, Anya was. Tara smiled inwardly. Her new friend seemed a bit wistful as she ran an index finger up and down Xander’s thigh. Xander, from his hunched posture, seemed something more than wistful. Sad, perhaps?



She pulled the last grapes off the stem. She could just imagine their reaction if she leaned over and fed them to Willow. She could imagine Willow’s reaction, too, and sighed softly. She popped the grapes into her mouth, one at a time. She could be patient with Willow.



She’d said as much to Willow earlier. But it just seemed so unfair. To her eyes, there were three couples having a picnic together. Anyone else looking at them would see Willow, two couples, and her. She brushed the crumbs off the blanket into the grass and carefully re-crossed her legs. The gash had scabbed over nicely and was only a little tender now. She sighed again – a bit too loudly, she realized, as Willow shot her a look of concern. She smiled softly and gave her head an almost invisible shake.



Willow’s face softened as she accepted the reassurance. Tara watched her lover resettle into a different position, cross-legged like her. Maybe she was wrong. The way Willow angled her body toward her, the look on her face – maybe anyone could look at them and see three couples. She smiled, at the thought and at Willow, and watched that look intensify until it glowed. Tara could feel its heat all through her body, and knew her face reflected it.



Her lover looked away suddenly, blushing slightly. Tara followed her gaze as she checked out the reactions of her friends, who were still self-absorbed and oblivious. Still ….



“Th-That was w-weird. This p-past weekend.” It was kind of silly, really. They had planned this picnic to talk about just that, but then had spent most of their available time carefully avoiding the subject. So now she could put it to good use as a distraction … just in case they had actually noticed.



“I can’t believe we believed it.” Willow accepted her lifeline with a look of gratitude that made her smile again.



“It seemed so real,” Riley chimed in without hesitation.



“Well, in that world, it was real.” Buffy snuggled closer to him.



“Alternate realities are neat,” Anya observed. She seemed about to elaborate when Xander interrupted.



“You know what I’ll always remember?”



“The swimsuit calendar’s sticking in my mind.” Riley replied. As he caught the look Buffy gave him, he added quickly, “Not in a good way.”



“I’ll always remember the way he made me feel about me,” Xander continued. “Valued, respected, sort of tingly …. Now I’m just empty.”



Tara bit her lip as Anya paused in her stroking of Xander’s thigh. The ex-demon looked sad for some reason. She wondered why, wanted to help – unless, she thought suddenly, it related to their love life. In that case, she didn’t want to know anything about it. Really.



“Poor Xander. I guess Jonathan hurt you most of all,” Buffy said sympathetically.



Tara’s stomach gave a sickening lurch at the memory of the closet, of the monster … of Willow’s pain. She closed her eyes, then opened them in startlement as Willow poked her in the ribs, obviously indignant at this dismissal of Tara’s hurts. Her lover cocked her head towards Buffy, clearly expecting her to challenge that assessment.



Somewhat to her own surprise, Tara raised her hand slightly. “Ummmm?”



“Except, of course, after Tara,” Buffy corrected off-handedly, seemingly without much concern over Tara’s actual condition.



Tara glanced at Willow, who had a rather self-satisfied smirk on her face. She wasn’t sure if it was because Buffy had acknowledged her error or just because she had made Tara stand up for herself. Whichever, it obviously made her happy, and that made Tara happy.



“Did anyone else feel way too tall? I felt way too tall.” Riley chattered on in the background.



She gazed at Willow, who was “looking” at her again. There was so much love on her face, there for all to see – if they were paying any attention at all.



****



As a vengeance demon, Anya had specialized in avenging women who had been wronged by husbands, boyfriends, and – well, men in general. And maybe she wasn’t a demon any longer, but she still possessed the skill set that had allowed her to become one of D’Hoffryn’s best.



So naturally she noticed the surge of emotions that coursed through Tara at Buffy’s words. She followed the Slayer with her eyes as Buffy stood and walked away from the group, and shifted uncomfortably. Even after all this time, she still wasn’t used to the absence of her powers.



“I liked his clothes. He had really cool clothes.” Xander’s words washed over her.



Being powerless – doing nothing – was more difficult than she had ever dreamed. The fact that she was constantly exposed to humans and their seething emotions, and had no escape to another dimension – that was the hardest thing to bear. The slight empathy she’d had as a demon was fading; she was growing as numb and blind as the humans around her. She just wanted the process to hurry along. There had been a few times in the past few months when she’d felt like she was being scraped raw.



“Still not understanding how he got the house and everything.” Willow’s comment barely registered.



Anya sighed quietly. At least sex could block most of it out. Since multi-tasking helped too, she asked, “And who really did star in the Matrix?” Not that the answer was important, or even the conversation itself. It was simply something to say, something to do, something to keep one part of her mind busy.



“Wait.” Riley’s voice intruded for just a moment. “That wasn’t real either?”



But her powers of observation had not decreased. If anything, they seemed to increase as the empathy faded, and she was constantly astonished that no one else was making the connections that she was. There was much that she didn’t understand about humans and their world, but emotions – especially love – she did.



For example, Tara and Willow. It was so screamingly obvious to her that Tara was Willow’s and Willow was Tara’s, but she seemed to be the only one who could see it. Anya glanced at Willow, at Tara. They were gazing at one another with a naked intensity that was just about as subtle as – well, she was. They loved one another so completely that it almost hurt to look at them – and yet, she found herself craving that. Even knowing what she knew about relationships … to belong to someone like that; she wanted that so much that it scared her.



She wasn’t a Scooby, not really. She was just Xander’s girlfriend, the ex-demon. She knew that Giles didn’t approve of her; that Buffy merely tolerated her. Riley didn’t matter, and Willow obviously distrusted her. Xander – she tried very hard not to focus on him. She liked him well enough – she loved how he made her feel – but she didn’t want to look too closely. There were some things she was happier not knowing.



So there it stood. She wasn’t accepted by his friends, and that hurt.



Tara. The blonde witch was new, an outsider like her, and was her “friend”. She made a mental note to give the witch a call. Maybe they could go shopping. She had discovered that she did like that part of this world. She liked new clothes and shiny jewelry. Besides, shopping was a human thing to do. She could use the practice.



*****



He watched a bit uncertainly as Buffy walked over to him. It was just like high school again. He was the freaky little geek, unsure and awkward. It was like nothing had ever changed.



“I wasn’t sure you’d come over. Everyone’s mostly forgetting.” The girl standing silent before him had more reason than most to want to forget. She also had the most reason to be angry. He blinked nervously. “But … I think some people are kind of angry.”



“Yeah.” She seemed curiously calm and still, although he suspected that overlay a great pool of anger.



It was the wrong thing to do, he knew. Complaining usually was; no one ever really listened, and he didn’t expect Buffy to be any different, but he couldn’t help it. “Nobody’s even talking to me. And … the twins moved out.”



She glanced away, then back at him with a little shake of her head, dismissing his concerns. Dismissing him with a single gesture.



“Why did you do it anyway?” Then she gave him an appraising look, and her next words cut deeply. “No – I get why. How?”



Nothing. He was nothing to her. He had never been anything. Nothing changed. He pushed his anger, his resentment, his … envy … down, and answered.



“After the thing with the bell tower and the gun, I went to counseling. You know … other kids with problems ….” He lifted his eyebrows inquiringly and saw her faint nod of understanding. “A – And one of them had this spell. He glossed right over the monster.”

That wasn’t really true, of course – he had known about the negative effects of the spell – but the truth wasn’t important here. Telling Buffy what she wanted to hear was. He looked over Buffy’s shoulder to where the Scoobies sat talking, the bruises on Willow’s friend visible even from this distance. He was rather surprised that she hadn’t been killed.



He shivered. That would have been very bad … for him. If she’d died, Buffy probably wouldn’t have saved his life in the cave. He concentrated on being Mr. Sincerity. “Well, anyway, I just – I … I just wanted to apologize. Nobody was supposed to get hurt.” That part was true, but it was mostly true for him, especially now that he was once again powerless. “Don’t piss off the Slayer” seemed like a good rule to follow.



“Jonathan, you get why everyone is angry though, right?” She barely paused. “It’s not just the monster. People didn’t like being little actors in your sock puppet theater.”



“You weren’t! You weren’t socks!” he protested – rather valiantly, he thought. “We were friends.” There. And there was a nice whine in his voice at the end, too.



“Jonathan, you can’t keep trying to make everything work out with some big gesture all at once.” Buffy went all holier-than-thou as she lectured him. “Things are complicated. They take time, and work.”



Like his entire life. He was tired of waiting. He’d thought that his moment was now. He’d failed … this time.



“Yeah, right.” He managed not to let even a hint of sarcasm color his voice – no need to arouse the Slayer’s suspicions. Let her think he was a loser. That was safe. Jonathan Levinson was nobody. He could disappear. And regroup.



He turned to leave, but suddenly stopped and turned back. He’d almost forgotten the whole reason for this conversation. He did have a debt to her. Two, in fact. And it was important that debts be paid. “Hey, Buffy. You remember I gave you some advice?”



She stared at him, her exasperation and contempt more apparent. “Watch out for southpaws?”



“Uh, no … about you and Riley.” He glanced over at the tall soldier and then back at Buffy. There was no future there – none. Riley’s innocence wouldn’t survive his love of the Slayer. For a brief moment Jonathan felt a pang of remorse, but his debt was to Buffy, not Riley. “I mean, things are starting to blur, but this cool thing I said …” Oops, better backtrack – if she knew he remembered it at all, that could be bad. “… Um, that I don’t really remember? I think it’s right. I think it’s kind of the same thing you just said to me … about things taking work?”



Buffy nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I remember.”



“Good, because it’s true. What you have is really complicated, but it’s worth it. I think that’s what I said.” He turned again and walked off.



Things hadn’t worked out quite the way he’d planned. But he was alive, and the Slayer wasn’t hunting him. He should still get out of Sunnydale for a while. He just needed to pack a few things and then he’d go. He needed to learn more. Practice, practice, practice. It worked for musicians – why not magicians? Although he had no intention of playing Carnegie Hall; his ambitions were a lot higher. He was smiling faintly as walked through the sunshine back to the abandoned house.

[TemperedCynic]

Sorry to hear about work and all. I can definitely sympathize.



Tara is such an interesting character to write about in Season 4. Her seemingly unrequited love for a "straight girl" tugs at your heartstrings. She's feeling so insecure at the picnic, but Willow silently makes it better.



Anya uses her 1,000 years of vengeance experience to see what the other Scoobys will miss for months to come. Feeling bad about being one of the "outsiders". Shopping will help, though. And maybe she can grill her new friend, Tara.



Poor Jonathan. The geek whose social skills were so bad that he never could fit in. I guess he was destined to never join the Scoobys. I can relate to those feelings.



This is a nice treatment of "Superstar". I'm really looking forward to "Where the Wild Things Are". I'm interested to see how Jo and Dani will interact. Maybe at the frat party?



I'll be waiting patiently.

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[Puff]

Hi Mel that was a great wrap up to Superstar. But I guess one line really stood out to me and that was

Quote:

---

Anyone else looking at them would see Willow, two couples, and her.

---

Tara really does see herself as the last person that people would look at. Of course they would see Willow first in her opinion and then everyone else and then finally her. Well I found that kind of sad, but so Tara. If that makes sense. Anyway here's to hoping that Tara gains in confidence.



I loved how you wrote Anya in this update, how she feels a bond form with Tara as they are both outsiders. Did you plan on writing past NMR and on to The Yoko Factor?



Thank you for the update (and Darcy for beta-ing) and I hope RL stops kicking you around

---

Cheese. It's milk that you chew.

[skeeter451]

Thanks for the update, Tris. It was worth the wait.



I really liked the way you wrapped up Superstar and I'm looking forward to the next ep. This was a good transition.

Susan



Skeeter451@mysticmuse.net

The Mystic Muse Fan Fiction Site

Edited by: skeeter451 at: 4/2/03 9:07:46 am

[Nix42]

Hi Mel,



Thanks for the update, it was great - you see, I'm not just here for the smut



Jonathon came across as a petulant little kid, exactly as I imagined - no genuine remorse for what he'd done



Looking forward to the next one



Nikki

If Mrs Whitehouse saw this, she'd have our collective danglies in a Magi-Mix

Gus Hedges, Drop the Dead Donkey

[usf1881]

I think you have an incredible gift of writing.......I love how you waited to have willow say she loved tara and how willow is waiting to tell her friends. Because it make it so REAL.........lots of people have them jump into the "I LOVE U's" and this deep relationship when it all just seems so ideal...........keep it up, your an awesome writer. I have immensely enjoyed you story.



PS- you NC-17 scenes kick ass too

[The Inward Sea]

I loved this update. Besides wrapping up Superstar wonderfully giving us the aftermath in each character's mind, you also gave us a great visit to Tara's feelings at this point and the hint of what's to come about Jonathan. Did I say that I loved this update? I do!



I know you are a busy lady and that is always worth waiting for your updates... but who can blame us kittens for loving your fic and demanding more?



Thanks a lot,

Sea



"The universe is an iceberg, and all that we can see and touch just the tip above a deep sea." darkmagicwillow -the Kitten-.

[singgirl]

Wow, that was short, but thank you anyway, needed an update. So, bravo!

Pax! -Bev

[Penrose Orleans]

As usual, the update was really, really good, and serves as an excelent transition piece between episodes, wrapping up the issues most central in Superstar while laying the groundwork for the struggle of Willow's coming out, a plotline that the viewer doesn't see until later... needless to say, I love your integration of the problem! So, to summarize, this fic is good, and your writing is excellent. Cheers and Praise, Nora

"Ya estoy curado, anestesiado, ya me he olvidado de tí...

Hoy me despido de tu ausencia- ya estoy en paz." -Manu Chao, 'La Despedida'

[barnabasvamp]

This update really touched on so many issues.



The relationships of the 3 couples, and how they are looked at by others.



Anya's thoughts...I especially liked how you went into her being a part of the group, but not really belonging.



As for Johnathan, no matter how much of a geek he was, or how much he felt left out, I still can't muster up any sympathy for him.



Thanks! BV

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before"-Mae West

[The Pineapple Head]

Hey Melissa,



Yes, if my THUDs were any indication, I most certainly enjoyed the previous update. It was utterly fabulous. As for your latest, I also enjoyed this one quite a bit. I suppose this update is a perfect example of why I love this series. So many things lead up to everything that happened in "New Moon Rising" and you illistrate that so beautifully. Every tiny moment lead to something bigger and better.



Diana

"No, I'm not cold. I can engrave glass with my nipples, but I'm not cold."
Me