New Fic - No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition

[taralicious]

My feeling is that Jennifer is the Willow/Tara version of the "Star Trek" red shirt character.

The person who is expendable and exists solely to move the plot along to where it needs to go.

A pawn whose sole purpose is to make Tara jealous and want to pursue Willow and for Willow to realize that she has merely been killing time with mediocre girl and can once again walk among the flowers of the Elysian Fields now that Tara has re-entered her life.

[alysagoddess85]

so of course that was a great update...but jennifer needs to go away....right now. and i love the cleavagy slut bomb tara image...mmmhmm....yea that was good....more soon please!



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[ittybittyone]

Chapter Two Replies





Thanks everyone for reading & replying It gives me motivation to write knowing someone out there thinks its going ok.



WickedRed/Willster/ watersong84 - Glad you like it, can’t promise anything with Jennifer yet, you’ll just have to keep reading



Irishgrl3 – I should have known an Irish Gal would appreciate a drink, hope I don’t disappoint



Stace – Lil Sis’s…Little Sis…. Does that make you Little, Little sis, really little sis or Lilx2 sis? Anyway your right I figure who can really hold out for three years….Too much pressure.



Miks – Hot stuff, glad you stopped by long enough to call me a lush, tell the Bitch Troll she hasn’t even graced me with her presence as yet. I am pretty sure I know what she is going to say if she reads the next chapter anyway.



Jessica – Lil’ Sis, how did I know you would appreciate sassy Tara, not sure if everyone else will, maybe risky. Thought I’d be different and give her a bit of edge after all the travelling. She can’t be shy forever.



tarawhipped – you hate me…was that a compliment? :) I already wrote this stuff before I decided to baffle you…wait for a few chapters



AmbeRocks – Sorry hun about the name thing… the picture of Jen I have is someone I know called Jen…sorry, hey maybe she will be really nice & live happily ever after with Willow.



Disastered – your comment cracked me up the most, read on & you will know why…Have you been hacking my hard drive?



SpikeyCritter – Rose, Rose, Rose. Not promising anything, maybe Jennifer will be up for some hair licking.



taralicious – Not sure about the Star Trek analogy, not a trekky, but the theory behind it could be a consideration, only one way to find out.



alysagoddess85 – glad you like the slut bomb bit, mee too



The Rose24 – don’t know what gave you that idea…You never never know.





++++++++++++++++++++++++++++







Title: No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition

Author: ittybittyone

Rating: I dunno, not from around these parts..I think PG at first but eventually NC17 ( I think that is the naughty one)

Disclaimer: Has anyone really been sued for not putting this in?

Feedback: Go nuts, I need all the help I can get

Summary: Tara left Sunnydale after the fight. Willow didn’t spazz out & go feral. This is Three years later.







Chapter Three



The three girls arrived at the Bronze a few minutes late due to the need to schedule three showers. Tara chuckled to herself when she thought about it, when the four of them were living together Willow had draw up a colour coded chart to organise the shower arrangements. The chart was drawn on a whiteboard and hung on the fridge.



Tara used to always add herself to Willows time slot, much to the distress of Willow who initially thought Tara was not understanding her helpful chart. It wasn’t until Willow was greeted with a visitor during one of the said showers that she realised that Tara had an in depth understanding of her chart.



Tara had jokingly suggested a raunchy chart to hang on the back of their bedroom door in which they could schedule more intimate activities. Willow had immediately gone into hyperdrive, with all the possible types of activities that could feature on her chart and how she could block out hours at a time to ravage her girl.



Tara’s trip down memory lane was interrupted by a flash in her mind of the tall brunette surprising Willow in the shower. She shook her head wildly and scrunched her eyes shut to try to force the picture out, this proved to be a bad idea as it only intensified the image. She snapped her eyes open as quick as possible and was greeted with a worried look from Dawn and Buffy



Tara gave them a reassuring smile. “OK you guys find the others, I’ll get the first round” Tara walked off towards the bar, before Buffy and Dawn could object.



Xander was standing up and waving to get their attention, the girls made their way over to the lounge the couple had reserved and took a seat.



“Where the hell is Tara, I knew she wouldn’t come” Anya said with a mixture of annoyance and sadness.



“She’s here she went straight to the bar and told us to find you guys” Just as Buffy said that, Tara was approaching the table with a full tray of drinks.



“Great scott Tara, you must be a thirsty little witch” Xander exclaimed in awe



‘It’s not just for me Xander, it’s for all of us, Dawnie I got you a coke, is that ok?”



“Yeah that’s fine Tara thanks”. Dawn noticed it was the only non-alcoholic drink on the tray, the rest was beer & a clear liquid she could only assume was tequila.



“So Anya, I believe it was you that said something about getting this show on the road” Tara said as she started handing out the shooters and beers.



Everyone took their drink and Xander began to speak as he raised the shooter glass. “Here’s to Tara..” Before Xander could finish, Tara had already put the glass to her mouth and swallowed the drink in one foul swoop. A shiver ran through her body as the warm liquid slid down her throat and she let out a squeak. Tara looked up to see that everyone else still had their glasses in the air.

“Oh bugger Xander sorry, guess I was a little quick off the mark” Tara said with a giggle.



“Let’s try this again shall we” Xander said as he raised his shot glass a little higher. “Welcome back Tara, we all missed you, it’s good to have you home”. It was followed by a round of “welcome home Tara” as they clicked glasses and drank the shot.

“Thanks so much you guys, I missed you too”. Tara said after she took a skull of her beer.



“Ok Xander, you’ve been relaxing long enough, go get us more of the cute little evil drinks” Anya said as she pushed Xander off his seat.



The gang laughed as Xander collected himself off the floor and made his way to the bar, the group continued to talk and laugh until Xander came back with more drinks.



“I got a few each so I don’t get demoted to the floor again” He said with a pout that he had been practising that morning.



Everyone laughed at Xander’s face. “Xander the…pout just doesn’t work for you” Buffy said.

“That was woeful Xander, have you been practising that in the mirror” Tara said with sarcasm in her voice.

Xander's face dropped and lost all expression. “OhMyGod He did practise that in the mirror” Dawn said and then erupted into fits of giggles, Tara spat out the drink she was about to swallow onto Anya. The sour & soggy look on Anya’s face caused the already laughing Buffy to fall off her chair and continued to roll around as she pounded her hand on the floor.



After several minutes the group got their hysteria under control, Buffy returned to her seat and Tara handed Anya a napkin to wipe her still moist face. This caused Dawn and Buffy to start laughing again, Tara tried her best to keep a straight face but faltered after a few seconds of hearing the Summer's girls lose control again. Anya accepted the napkin and wiped her face. “Remind me to sit next to Tara next time instead of across from her” she stated in disgust. “Xander aren’t you going to say anything, defend my honour”



“Tara” Xander said in mock anger. “Please don’t spit up on Anya, now please apologise”



Tara turned to face Anya as she took another drink, Anya visible flinched, which caused a slight giggle from Dawn who was waiting in anticipation for Tara’s next move.



“Anya…Tara said seriously using all her resolve to contain her laughter. “Please accept my humblest of apologies for spitting on you, I will endeavour to spit on Xander next time”



“Anya nodded, apologies accepted, and please do” Anya replied with a nod



The girls managed to hold on without laughing & Xander changed the subject. The group settled into normal discussion, catching Tara up on the latest scoobie news and toasting to every demon they had beat in the last few months. They had been sitting and chatting for several hours taking a few dance breaks when a good song came on.



“God this is one of the best nights ever”, Xander yelled over the music, “It’s a shame Wills aint here”. The group went quiet and Xander looked at Tara. “Oh, sorry Tara”.

“Xander it’s fine, really I know you all have been trying to avoid the topic, your right, it is a shame she isn’t here. I was kinda hoping to at talk to her at some stage”



“At least we got the night off from Jennifer though”. Dawn said with venom in her voice.



“Dawn cut it out, what have I told you about that” Buffy scowled.

“Oh come on Buff, you said yourself that she is not Willows type, and can I just say have we confirmed that she is not evil?”

“Dawnie, come on she can’t be that bad….Have you guys made sure she is not evil?” Tara said with concern after thinking about it for a second

“Well I get no spidey senses tingling when she is around, they have been together for a while now…a couple of months I think”



“A few months Buffy, how many is that two, three, ten…no offence Buff but your not that great with the paying attention and the counting” Tara said in near panic and then tried her best to look calm



“Two maybe I think, your right who am I kidding, I have no idea, I’m just guessing”



“Well I don’t care how long or short it’s been, she gives me the willies” Dawn said in a mutter



Buffy frowned at Dawns comment, she knew that it wouldn’t matter who Willow was with, she was going to dislike them on principle because they weren’t Tara. “I still feel kinda awkward around her, maybe we just don’t know her well enough..… mind you getting around to knowing her is going to be a bumpy ride”



“Geeze I hope you guys weren’t this critical of me when Will and I started dating” Tara said trying to be ok with the topic of conversation



Relatively Comfortable that Tara was some what ok with the current subject matter and being drunk and uninhibited, the individually agreed that continuing the discussion was ok.



Xander laughed at Tara’s comment “actually it took a while for us to you know…. ‘get you’, but we instantly liked you and you were good for Will, so you won us over pretty quickly”.



“I was such a spaz, No one ever got me” Tara said with a laugh remembering how she was back then, sometimes it seemed like a life time ago. “Except Will for some reason she just got me from day one” Tara’s paused and her smile faded, “So this Jennifer girl you don’t thinks she is good to Will?” Tara said with a frown.



“It’s not that exactly” Buffy said “She is kinda just the dominate one in the relationship, making all the decisions and stuff, and Willow just wears it and goes with the flow”



“Plus we all have to walk on egg shells” Dawn butted in

“yesss” Buffy agreed with Dawn but gave her a look anyway.

“She doesn’t know about the scoobie stuff which makes us all a little nervous…I can’t remember the last time we had to hide it…..no actually it was with Riley, but at least I was getting some sex out of it then” Buffy said with a far away look “Come to think of it, its been waaay to long where that is concerned”



“Thanks for the update Buff, but your get no sympathy from me, preaching to the choir I’m afraid”. Tara replied in mock misery.



“We had sex before we came and we will have sex when we go home” Anya stated casually as if she was telling everyone what she had for dinner.



“Anyway…” Dawn interrupted “Can I say as the only sober person that this conversation belongs in the way too much information basket”. “And I think it is definitely time to go home”



“Ahhh come on Dawnie, just a few more drinks, it’s my first night back, I don’t want to go just yet pleaaaase!” Tara whined and battered her eyelids.



“Yeah come on Dawnie, just a few more minutes, it’s for Tara, who can say no to that face?” Buffy said while leaning over to Tara and squishing her cheeks together. Both girls sat in that position starring at Dawn waiting for an answer.



“I will make Xander do his pout again” Anya joined the pleas.



‘I’ll do it Dawnie… I’m crazy … I’ll do the pout “ Xander chimed in.



Dawn huffed “Fine, but don’t blame me when your all tired tomorrow” and crossed her arms over her chest.



Tara and Buffy cheered and together said. “thanks Dawnie you’re the best”



“Yeah whatever Dawn muttered”



“So who’s up for more drinks? I’ll pay if someone goes and gets them” Buffy slurred.

Anya glared at Xander who, got up off the chair with a groan. “I guess that’s my cue, more of the same I take it girls?”



He was greeted with a round of “Yeps” and “you’re the best Xander” and Dawn muttered, “Hey I thought I was the best”



The girls went for a dance while Xander went to the bar, then practically attacked him to get to the tray when he returned. They all took their seats again when Tara spoke.



“Didn’t you think her boobs would be bigger”. The group looked at Tara puzzled. “Her boobs…don’t you think Willow would like ‘em bigger” Tara repeated as if the group was slow.



“Boobs did you say boobs?” Xander was suddenly enjoying the topic of conversation, “Its about time you so called lesbians wanted to talk about boobs with me”.



“Well.....it has been my experience that Willow is very much a breast girl, I mean the way she used to just attack my”. Dawn cut Tara’s little monologue off immediately. Ok Tara, I am totally putting my foot down, you know I love you guys more then anything, but I just do not want that visual thankyou very much”



“Oh hush up little girl, this is getting fantastic, we should have boozed Tara up years ago, please continue and tell us what Willow did to your breast Tara” Anya said and took a sip of her drink and settled back in her seat to get a comfy position for the story.



Dawn looked at Buffy who was quiet through this whole exchange and appeared to be content to hear the story. “Buffy!” Dawn yelled “are you not going to help me out here?”



Buffy shook her head..”What, oh right yeah, um bad for little sisters mind, and hey the table is kinda spinning, do you think it’s a hell mouth thing, maybe it’s a portal”



“Oh yeah” Tara, Anya and Xander exclaimed as they looked at the table in wonder, “you think we should call Giles Buff” Xander asked



“Ok you booze hounds, get up we are going, you have had quite enough, anymore and you wont be able to get off those seats & I don’t have slayer strength to carry you up the stairs at home”



“Ohhhh but Dawn” Anya whined this time “we were getting to the good stuff”.

No arguments, we are going it’s well past 3am & I have class tomorrow and damn Tara you have an interview.



“Ill be fine Dawnie, really…sweet as” Tara said as she stood up and nearly fell over. “Oops” she giggled as she got her balance.



“Careful Buff, the floors a little dodgy too, its moving all over the place”. Tara garbled



“Tara are you a little drunk or are you talking a different language these days” Buffy said as she looked at Tara confused.



“I think it’s a combination of both” Dawn said and shook her head at Buffy as she tried to stand and also stumbled.



“Oh Crap Tara, I think I just got what you meant about the floor”. Buffy said, in a voice that was way too loud.



Come on dumbass’s lets get you two home.



Anya was disappointed about not getting the end of her story, she made a mental note to ask Tara about it later. She stood up and pulled Xander by the hand, “come on if I am not going to get my story, your giving me orgasm’s instead”.

Xander jumped out his chair and said a brief goodbye to the girls as Anya dragged him out.



“‘At least someone is getting some tonight” Tara said in a jealous tone. “yeah, Bitch” Buffy replied. “Lets make a pact, Buffy said “If neither of us get laid before we are thirty, we will help each other out”.

Dawn looked on in shock to see where this was going, it was getting a little weird



Tara held out her hand “Deal” she said. The girls shook hands and for a minute just looked at each other. They then burst out into uncontrollable laughter as they got to the car.



“At the risk of sounding like Giles, Good Lord it’s going to be a long trip home” Dawn said to herself



The girls pilled into the car & continued talking and giggling for the entire trip.



When they got home Buffy and Tara practically carried each other up the stairs, bumping into the wall and the hand rail on each step up.





“Thanks you guys I had a grrreat time, we have to do this more often” Tara said to the two sisters.



“You have to start sticking around more often, Miss Maclay” Buffy said as they hugged.



Tara and Dawn hugged. “Goodnight Dawnie, thanks for bringing us home”



“No problem Tara, now get some sleep you will need it for tomorrow, I think your going to kill us when you wake up” Dawn said as she hugged Tara tightly.



“Ah Piffle, I will be right as rain in the morning” Tara said as she made her way back to her room.



“Yeah what ever” Dawn said sceptically



It was about 5 minutes after Dawn was settled in bed when the chatter started from the other two bedrooms.



“Good Night Buff….Good night Dawnie”



“Good night Tara Good night Dawnie”



“yeah good night you two, now hush I’m trying to sleep” Dawn replied with a hint of annoyance.



“Hey Tara”…buffy yelled “is your room spinning, I might come sleep with you, mine is possessed or somethin’.



“Sorry Buff mine’s spinning too. Hey do you think that portal followed us?”



At the same time both girls yelled…Hey Dawnie… you still awake?”.



Dawn pulled the pillow over her head. “Of course I am awake, how can I sleep with you two rambling on”



“Is your room spinning” Buffy tried to use a softer voice but it was still just as loud. “Can Tara and I come bunk with you, ours is possessed, I will deal with whatever is causing it in the morning”



“The room is not possessed, you are drunk, now please shut up so I can get some sleep” Dawn replied fuming.



“Man! Cranky much, fine then…” Buffy said with a pout “Good night Dawn, Good night Tara”



“Good night Buff, Good night Dawn” Tara yawned back



“ARGH!!!! we already did this, are we stuck in repeat-o day again? Dawn huffed “Good Night both of you, Now Zip it!”



“Fine” Buffy and Tara said in unison. There was a pause, and for a moment Dawn breathed out a sigh of relief. The silence was broken by soft giggles from both Tara and Buffy which gradually got louder.



“I am going to kill those two” Dawn groaned



Tara was the first to calm down, “sorry Dawnie, we will be good I promise”



“Thank you!” Dawn said with a sigh.



After a few minutes both Tara and Buffy were dead quiet. “Thank God they finally passed out” Dawn said to herself. And rolled over and went to sleep.





++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Hope you all liked it



Thanks a bunch for reading



Tray



The contemplator all those years, now you must adhere to your new career of liberation, You've been cast all by yourself, You're free at last! You broke the set now there's only singles, there's no looking back this time I mean it



Happy Now? - No Doubt

[Irishgrl3]

Great update! Tara downing her shooter before Xander could make the toast was too funny.

And I LMAO at the line;

Quote:

---

"Didn't you think her boobs would be bigger".

---

Frickin hysterical!



Can't wait till someone gets rid of this Jennifer character...

Edited by: Irishgrl3 at: 9/30/04 7:43 am

[WickedReds]

Oh my god they got sloshed... and i know sloshed...

i like seeing them sloshed.... boobies



-reds



my banana dances for smut

Tara in a wet shirt, Tara in a wet shirt. Tara in. A. Wet. Shirt. “Of course.”-Willow From Remember to Breath By Yellow Crayon

[alysagoddess85]

lmao...drunk scoobies are the best scoobies...sooo funny...and poor dawn! ive been there before....its annoying trying to sleep with the drunk people.



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[tarawhipped]

First off, I wasn NOT saying I hate you, I was responding to the end of your 9/27 post in which you said something like "I hope you guys don't hate me." I was trying to communicate how much I DON'T hate you, cause your story rocks, but apparently it didn't come out right. Sorry 'bout that!



As for this chapter, it was interesting to see the Scoobs loosen up and relay how much Jennifer is NOT a part of the group. Unfortunately, it seems like Willow's distanced herself as well.



Finally, this line kicks ass:

Quote:

---

Oh hush up little girl, this is getting fantastic, we should have boozed Tara up years ago

---

-Cameron

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

[wimpy0729]

I agree with the others, I love the sloshed Scoobies. They should have had a few and relaxed a little a long time ago.



Yes, alcohol will let you lose your inhibitions and Tara talking about her boobs had me ROFL. I was kinda hoping she would finish that conversation. I could just picture Willow burying herself in Tara when she attacked her.



Anyway, I was right back on the floor when Buffy saw the table spinning and made the portal comment. That was absolutely hilarious. Then their rooms being possessed...OMG...poor Dawn.



Okay, now I can't wait to see what happens the next day and what's really up with the Jennifer girl, being all dominant with Willow, just not her type I'd have to agree. So let's see what you can do about that. Can't wait!



Wimpy





"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[Spikeizmine87]

hahaha hammered scoobs! "shakes head" Trace I expected nothing less from you! funny shit....fun fun fun!!! Glad to see you updated. And Im extremly happy to know I have a new nickname. So Im a critter now? "thinking face" hm, that can be interesting! Cant wait for the next update!!

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.

[Willster]

That was hilarious!!



Drunk Tara is so funny.. telling all those stories and not being a tiny bit shy..!!



But the deal she made with Buffy just made me fall off my chair!



You did a great job with the drunk people.. poor Dawnie being stuck bringing them back home.. That's good news no one got sick... From experience, when the room starts to spin, it's never a good sign..



Watch the hungover tomorrow..!



Great job, keep on the good work, can't wait for another update!

[taralicious]

Wow, not only does Tara use British slang like bugger and dodgy but she can also drink the Scooby gang under the table.

Saucy lil minx isn't she what with all the trip down mammary lane in discussing Willow's turn-ons.

I want to pause and continue that mental image on my own. Willow and her handling of Tara's breasts

Drunken Buffy/Tara are a hoot and who knew that Dawn would have to play mother to them both.

I lead the charge, like the villagers with pitchforks and torches chasing Frankenstein's Monster, against the demon-spawn Jennifer.

[The Rose24]

The gang definitely doesn't like Jennifer. That is a plus, and Tara shows a bit of jealousy.



I think I am in the minority here, but I don't picture Tara as a person who gets drunk.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Miss Evanescent]

i being a complete spazz and occasional tart, read your story and forgotted to post! ....probably cuz i was talking to you at the time! anyhow...im loving this...could it be that Tara, using mostly aussie lingo. may have spent some time down under...possibly with a certain princess? see ya in a few days sis...and i will expect more!!!!!!!!!!! please! *grovels* and i know i know...while im down there....

[Wired vixen]

Quote:

---

“The room is not possessed, you are drunk, now please shut up so I can get some sleep” Dawn replied fuming.

---

LMAO!! OMG i couldn't stop laughing, great update!!!



I love this fic so much!!



And Tara cracks me up....and i think you should make Jennifer evil, cos someone that controlling can't be good for Willow at all!



As for the sis confusion, um, if you and jessica are sis's,and she's ur lil sis and i'm Jessica's lil sis, that makes me your youngest sis, like kid sis? (i am not a kid either, dispite what jessica says! grr!)



Anyway.....Can't wait for more!!



Stace xXx

"Um...dont mean to ruin the sexcapades...but we need the chips out there. Xanders being a chip whore." -She's my always by spikeizmine87

[Arron CFF]

This update was great I am Sitting in the computer lab at school and well the other students are staring but hey it was funny dammit

Great job I can't wait to read about the morning after and lol all the Abuse Tara and Buffy get from Dawnie

Thanks

Arron

[Disastered]

Yay drunken antics! Thay was hillarious. I think it calls for this little guy: . There were some really great one liners but this one was my favorite:

“Boobs did you say boobs?” Xander was suddenly enjoying the topic of conversation, “Its about time you so called lesbians wanted to talk about boobs with me”.

Ha! That one made me laugh like hell.



And oooh Jennifer does seem to be controlling after all. Yay! I mean...ah I can't even fake feeling bad. I hate feeling bad for the innocent bystanders that just loved Willow and Tara too, but if she's all evil like then I don't mind. Plus she clearly doesn't have the correct sized breasts for Willow. We're just going to have to get rid of her.



And no I didn't hack into your computer. I'd like to just think I'm perceptive. Or maybe a psychic because it would just be so much cooler to be a psychic, unless it was connected to some crappy destiny filled with pain along the way (I'm all for destinies filled with happiness) then I wouldn't want to be a psychic.



I think I've rambled enough. Awesome story. Update soon! <-how can you resist that?

Jack :TV? I love tv. "Buffy" is my life. So into Willow being a les.

[photographer02]

I'm loving it!! Yeahhhh!!



Please do continue??



Good update!!



photographer02

[Arwen276]

Lovin' it as well!



more!!!



that chapter was hilarious! although I can feel Tara's pain, and her desire to find any flaw in Willow's gf.

I wouldn't want to be Tara or Buffy in the morning. They're bound to have a killer hangover!





~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[ittybittyone]

Chapter Three replies



Thanks to everybody who has read and especially those who have replied, it’s good to know what is tickling everyone’s fancy (other then hot luuuurve). To those complete bastards who don’t reply (there may be none Its quite possible this is my only audience), I generally don’t reply either. (I never know what to write). Anyway just wanted to say thanks for reading & I hope you like it.



Irishgrl3/ WickedReds/ alysagoddess85: Thanks for replying again and sticking with the story, glad it made you laugh. Hope I can keep it up.



tarawhipped: I know you weren’t serious, I was just messing with ya, hope you like the next bit, I have some more Anya stuff in the works for later down the track.

Wimpy: Glad you liked the sloshed scoobies, I hope to have more fun with them later, the end of the world stuff is a little gloomy for me to write.



Spikey Critter: Rose, Thought I would get a more aggressive response from me calling you the spikey critter, I guess you have learnt to just ignore me by now that’s no bloody fun. Hope I can keep you smiling despite the lack of steamy scenes.



Willster: Thanks for reading, I love hearing what parts people like and find funny. I am sometimes accused of a nutty sense of humour, so I’m either not so nutty or you are nutty too.



taralicious: Hey can I just say I love your name for a start. Poor Jennifer everyone hates her on principle of being in the way. I love the way everyone does that. Glad you like the slag, it makes my job a hell of a lot easier and I think Tara needed a hand expressing herself. After three years its easy to pick up terms from different places.



The Rose24: I thought the drunk Tara might turn some folk off, hope it hasn’t turned you off the story, she is still Tara but with a bit of a edge after being away and experiencing a bit of life.



Lil’ Sis: You are right in some of your hypothesis, I’m not quite going where your going with it…as much as I would love to write myself in as a red hot lover of Tara’s. You spicy little cracker! Wouldn’t that just piss the kittens on the board off…What an outrage! I would be given my marching orders.



Mini Sis? / Arron CFF: I love hearing I have cracked someone up, thanks for the reply. Hope I can continue to keep you interested.



Disastered: Its great how different people find different parts especially funny, Sorry Jennifer isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, but your psychic so you already knew that.



photographer02/ Arwen: Hope I can keep you guys interested, thanks for reading and replying



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Title: No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition

Author: ittybittyone

Rating: I dunno, not from around these parts..I think PG at first but eventually NC17 ( I think that is the naughty one)

Disclaimer: Has anyone really been sued for not putting this in?

Feedback: Go nuts, I need all the help I can get

Summary: Tara left Sunnydale after the fight. Willow didn’t spazz out & go feral. This is Three years later.









Chapter Four



The next morning Tara woke and felt like she was quite possibly dead, she thought it was not unthinkable that the world had ended overnight, but she figured her luck was not that good.

She wondered how the hell she got to bed, she quickly glanced under the covers and thanked the goddess she had clothes on. Head still jumbled, she slowly got up out of bed, as soon as she put weight on her feet, they started to wobble and she fell straight down on the floor with a loud thump.



Dawn ran to Tara’s room when she heard the thud and was greeted with a “shitting hell” from Tara. Dawn raised an eyebrow as Tara looked up at her.



“Oh hey Dawnie, um...sorry about the language”. Dawn just smiled and shrugged.

“Do you want me to make you some breakfast or do you just want a coffee?”

Tara groaned and then opened her eyes and smiled at Dawn. “A coffee would be great thanks”

Dawn nodded and then spoke. “Umm Tara, its nearly 8am and I am pretty sure you said that interview was at 9”



Tara jumped up from her slumped position on the floor and stood still as she got her balance and the room stopped spinning. She nursed her head in one hand while grabbing a towel and clothes in the other and ran to the bathroom all the whilst chanting some sort of mantra under her breath.



Dawn could have sworn she heard the blonde saying “stupid bloody beer, look like crap, feel like shit, argh my head, bloody beer, cant’ be late”. She couldn’t be sure, but after the night at the Bronze and several things Tara mentioned the day before she wasn’t surprised. Tara seemed to have shed her shyness and had come out of her shell while she was experiencing the world. And along the way found a new talent for expressing herself. Dawn chuckled “I am going to have to ask Giles if she learnt ‘shitting hell’ from him”.



Dawn was downstairs and had just finished making the coffee as Tara entered the kitchen in a black business suit and pink collared shirt.

“Wow Tara you look great!”

“Thanks Dawnie, I feel like blah, I can’t believe I got drunk last night, what the hell was I thinking?”

Dawn handed Tara a cup of coffee. “I think the point of last night was with the not thinking”

Tara rolled her eyes “I don’t know what got into me…far out is that the time already, I have to run”. She downed the last of the coffee grabbed her things and ran out the door.

Just as Dawn was about to open the door, Tara raced back in. “Forgot to brush my bloody teeth”. Tara exclaimed whilst running towards the bathroom.

Two minutes later Tara was running back towards the door, she stopped dead in her tracks and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks for the Coffee Dawnie, make sure you have breakfast before you leave”.

Dawn mock saluted “No Problem Mum, and hey before you go, your going to need a ride aren’t ya?”

“Oh that would be great”, Tara said with a sigh of relief “if you don’t mind, I guess I forgot you could drive now…..you’re better at it then Buffy right?

“Xander taught me so you’re perfectly safe, let’s get going”. Dawn replied as she shoed Tara out the front door



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



It was three hours later that Buffy emerged from her drink induced coma and wandered out to the kitchen still trying to find focus. She was about to make a coffee when she realised the empty mugs in the sink. “Oh man Tara had that interview today, I totally suck, if I was a good friend I would have reminded her last night. I wonder how she got out of bed so early, and where the hell did she learn to drink like that and not be dead.



Buffy sat at the kitchen table lost in thought when replaying yesterdays events in her mind & trying to remember the evens of the night before. She came to one conclusion. “This situation is really screwed up” She was unsure how things were going to go with the two witches.



She watched TV for a while and relaxed before remembering that she had a shift to do in the afternoon. On most days Buffy liked her job, not only did it give her a chance to be on the inner with the hell mouthy goings on but she was good at it and enjoyed the company of the friends she had made at the station. She would need to talk to Becky her partner about the current situation and get an outsiders opinion on what she should do. Becky had met Willow a few times and Buffy had mentioned some of the back ground to Becky previously when Willow was freaking out about dating Jennifer.



Today was one of the odd days Buffy was not motivated to go to work. “Our shy little Tara is quite the party animal”. She thought and shook her head.



Buffy was about to start getting ready for work when her mind went to Willow. “She must be pretty nuts at the moment” she thought to herself. She considered calling her, but decided to go over to her office on the way to work and see first hand how she was coping.



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Buffy arrives at Willows office and is immediately recognised by the receptionist.

“Hi Karen, does Willow have anyone in with her at the moment?”

“Hi Officer” Buffy cuts her off. “Buffy is fine Karen”

“Sure Buffy sorry, she is free go right in, I think she could use a friendly face, she has been a little off all morning”

Buffy gives Karen a smile and walks towards Willows office and knocks lightly on the door.

“Yes what is it now” Will barks in reply to the knock. Buffy opens the door and closes it behind her.

“Ok Wills I guess that response answers my first question”

“Oh Buffy hey, sorry it’s been a real busy morning, you look like crap what the hell happened to you?”

Buffy consciously runs her hands through her hair and plonks herself in the chair across from Willows desk.

“Long story, never mind” Buffy said dismissively taking a long sip of the bottled water she was holding.

“Never mind? Oh come on Buffy, you can’t walk in looking like that and expect me to accept never mind, since when did you not want to spill details?”



“Ok fine, just quit with the loudness” Buffy massaged her temple whilst trying to decipher what she was going to tell Willow. “We kinda went out for a few welcome home drinks last night…we umm….well….needless to say we had a few drinks more then the initial few and I feel like shit, I have absolutely no idea what state Tara was in but it cant have been pretty”

“You mean Tara got drunk? Willow cut Buffy off. “Blonde girl, yay high” Willow indicates Tara’s height, “got drunk, did someone spike her drink, is she ok?”

“Yeah she’s fine Will except for probably a monster hang over, I don’t know how she dragged herself out of bed so early this morning, she was gone before I got up.

“Oh” replied Willow with a hint of hurt. “So she’s gone again then…figures…I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“No, not gone gone forever gone, just out” Buffy said trying to make things clearer in the redheads mind

“Oh” was Willows pensive reply



“Look Will I didn’t come here to talk about that anyway. I wasn’t going to mention last night, it was just a last minute thing and I knew you had plans with Jennifer.

“So, anyway the reason I am here is to see how you are going with all of this, you left in a bit of a rush yesterday” Buffy asked with concern in her eyes.

“I’m good Buff, why wouldn’t I be?” Willow said dismissively

“Ok drop the act Rosenberg, this is me remember…spill… I know your going through some internal babble wether you want to admit it or not…how are you feeling?” buffy said and sat down across from Willow’s desk.



“What Buffy, I mean yeah it was a shock I hardly expected to see her again, I gave up on those dreams a while ago. What the hell am I supposed to feel, it’s been three years, I’ve moved on, she’s moved on...theres a whole lot of moving that went on”. Willow took a needed breath and continued. “She probably only came to see you guys again and will be on her merry way to where ever the hell she was for the past 3 years”.



“Don’t you want to talk to her at least, things were left pretty up in the air and you guys were so close Will.”



“Were ..being the operative word here Buff”. Willow said deflated



“I know Will, I just think you guys need to at least talk about stuff, especially if she gets this job and decides to stick around permanently”



“Job, what job?” asked Willow confused



“She had an interview this morning with the High School, I assume for some Art/History teaching role, that’s why she left early. She said depending on how things went she would be taking the job. I can’t see them not offering her the job because she is totally over qualified and I assume its still pretty slim pickings for teachers around here.”



“Oh” Willow said flatly without emotion.



Buffy wasn’t sure if it was a positive Oh or a negative Oh, the redhead had not really given any clues as to her feelings so far. “Look Will, I just wanted to know that you are Ok and to tell you that I am here if you need me. You guys have been apart for so long and it’s OK if this feels weird and it’s difficult. It’s hard to know how to relate to each other when your feelings for one another were so intense before. Tara and I were talking last night and from my vague recollection I definitely remember her saying that she wanted to at least talk with you, if you were interested. If nothing else Will there is a definite need for closure between you two what ever form that may be in.



Buffy looked at her watch “Damn I have to run off I’m already late for work” Buffy walked over to Willows side of the desk and gave her a brief hug. “Let me know if you need anything or want to chat, I’m always available girl”.



“Thanks Buffy, that means a lot…but honestly I’m fine for now, I’ll talk to you later”.



“Sure thing Wills, take it easy” Buffy replied and closed the door behind her.



Willow leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. “So Tara’s back for closure then, well that explains that”.





+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Buffy was running late, she had got so caught up with spilling the details of the Willow and Tara saga to her partner Becky that she had managed to get behind with her paperwork.

She opened the front door and was greeted with the amazing smell of cooking dinner. She stopped at the kitchen entrance way and took a deep breath.



“Oh hey Buffy, you’re right on time for dinner” Tara said with a cheery voice



Buffy took a deep breath as she replied “Tara can I just start by saying this kitchen and my stomach has missed you more then words could possibly describe, do you know how long it’s been since I smelt real food cooking here”



“I resent that comment Buffy” Dawn said walking into the kitchen behind her.



“So firstly Tara how did the big interview go, and secondly how the hell did you make it there by nine”



Dawn giggled at the memory of Tara’s state in the morning and Tara let out a small groan



“Well Buff” Tara started “They offered me the job, and I was reluctant to give them an answer straight away, so they gave me the option to do a 1 month trial period to see if I wanted to stay, so I agreed to the trial to see if I like it and see how things go here”



“Tara that’s fantastic news” Buffy said as she hugged her. “I would offer to go out for celebratory drinks, but I think the last one nearly killed the slayer”.



“Oh Buff, I couldn’t possibly go out again, I was in such a mess this morning, lucky Dawn woke me up and reminded me about the interview, otherwise I would have completely missed it” Tara said and smiled at Dawn.



Buffy laughed at the vision of hungover Tara and then frowned. ”So how is it that I still look like crap and your all with the chirpy and the dinner goodness?”



“I kinda crashed as soon as I got home from the interview, I only woke up a few hours ago” Tara admitted and then hung her head before continuing. “I’m sorry about my state last night, I guess I was just overwhelmed with everything and those beers were just hitting the spot.”



“Tara don’t be embarrassed, I was just as trashed as you, and hey, at least you didn’t turn into Cave Tara, coz that was just weird.” Buffy exclaimed with humour in her voice.



“I hate to karate the party for both of you” Dawn exclaimed. “But you were both kinda of the cave talk by the end of the night and did I mention the repeat-o factor at bed time?”



“oh bugger…..I just had major flash back from last night and I am pretty sure you propositioned me Buffy” Tara said in shock



“I did not…Oh woooow, Ok my brain just caught up…..and hey you agreed to the deal Miss” Buffy said whilst still trying to clear up the haze that was her recall of the previous night



“I think I might have, what do you reckon that means in the grand scheme of things”



“Grand scheme of things are you still drunk Tara, there is no grand scheme of things, it was just the booze talking” Dawn shook her head, “they have both gone nuts” she told herself.



“hey Buff if we are like thirty and still have not…..Tara started to feverishly blush….”you know…..then we are going to feel totally”.



“You know what Tara, don’t bother even finishing that” Buffy buttered in.

“If I am even in the ball park of thirty and have still not got any, I am going to find the nearest inter dimensional porthole & take another running jump to save myself from this miserable existence.”



“Gee Buffy the way your getting lately with the no orgasm crabby I’m liable to cut a vein open one up and throw you in myself” Dawn said with all the sisterly love she could muster



“Ah zip it you” Buffy said as she poked Dawn in the ribs “your just jealous coz you aren’t getting…”



“Buffy I suggest you stop right there unless you want me to reply to your next statement and go into graphic details” Dawn said with a teasing tone to her voice”







The girls continued to joke around, while setting the table as Tara dished out the food, they talked about their day and what Giles was up to these days. Dawn and Tara had planned to go out for their ritual milkshakes the next day and settled down to watch a little TV before turning into bed.



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++





Tara was tossing and turning and could not sleep, despite her nap earlier in the day, she was still tired, but couldn’t stop the thoughts whirling around in her brain.



Willow had a new girlfriend, she was not at all surprised if she was honest with herself, what did she expect, Willow to be sitting here day in day out mooning over the one that got away. Of course not, three years is a long time. Plus there is the whole hottie factor which just screams ‘ask me out even if you think you have no chance’. “Hell it sucked me in and I was sure I had no chance, even she thought she was straight”. Tara told herself



She cast her mind back to the day that Oz had come back all those years ago. She wondered if Jennifer felt the way she felt back then or if she was totally smug and secure in their relationship. She probably doesn’t even know we dated, what was it she said, “Buffy and Dawn had mentioned her’, she definitely didn’t say Willow mentioned her.



Tara looked at the clock, it was 1:30am “I wonder if they are all snuggled up in bed together now or if they are all sweaty and….” Tara shook her head to clear the images. “Whoa better stop that image from burning its way in my memory” Tara said aloud in a hushed tone.



Tara was unsure if staying in Sunnydale was a such a great idea, even if it was only for a month, what if she saw them together all the time? It was easier just pretending things are as you left them when you’re away, but as soon as you see, it’s a lot tougher to ignore.



Holding Willow in her arms for even that brief moment before Jennifer interrupted, brought back so many memories for Tara. Just holding her made the recognition of coming home complete. She had played out how their reunion would be in so many different scenarios, she had thought she had gone through them all. Even the ones where they would just see each other and start ripping at each others clothes…those were her personal favourites. But she had not pictured yesterday. In her heart of hearts she knew she hadn’t prepared herself to see Willow with someone else. But would she ever have been able to prepare herself for the realisation that their time might have passed and would never found again?



She could tell that Willow had not cast in a long time, and for the most part she seemed relatively happy. Who am I to just come waltzing back into her life and turn it upside down if she has found happiness. Maybe Jennifer can give to her what I couldn’t, maybe she is enough for Willow to stay content.



Tara rolled over onto her side.



Maybe her purpose for coming back here was to make sure Willow was happy and to let her go, maybe Willow would be better off without her. She had a month to figure out what she should do and to see if Sunnydale still felt like home without having Willow as her welcome mat.

Did she still love Willow, the way she did when she still left? Of course she did, she was assured of that the second she laid eyes on her. She hoped she could still remain in contact with Willow despite what the future held. But seeing her in someone else’s arms at every other Scooby event and not feeling like she was being stabbed in the chest was optimistic Tara thought.

Looking in from the outside as someone else caressed her, made her smile or wipe away her tears. Not being the one Willow ran to when she was scared, or when she was excited. Never being on the receiving end of those eyes when they darken with desire and want. The idea of never fulfilling that role again, scared Tara and a loan tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.



Was she strong enough to see Willow happy even if it could not be with her? Only time would answer that question.



Tara finally drifted off to sleep with the sheer exhaustion of her emotional rollercoaster.



It was only going to get harder from this point on.





+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Hope you are all still enjoying it thus far. Will post as quickly as possible





Tray





The contemplator all those years, now you must adhere to your new career of liberation, You've been cast all by yourself, You're free at last! You broke the set now there's only singles, there's no looking back this time I mean it



Happy Now? - No Doubt

[Irishgrl3]

Great update! Dawn playing mom by getting Tara to her job interview was pretty funny. That's quite the role reversal.



It's hard to tell from Willow's talk with Buffy how she is really feeling having Tara back home. She hasn't commented all that much.



Poor Tara envisioning Willow and Jennifer with the snuggles and such. I know it's going to be rough but I hope they are able to talk soon. The sooner the better so Jennifer can be sent packing!

[wimpy0729]

Well, we all knew the next morning wouldn't be pretty, but it was pretty funny. And yes, we know that feeling of "what the hell was I thinking?"



So, now Tara has the job if she wants it after the one month trial, but there are many other issues she has to deal with too, so this could be very interesting.



Buffy and Tara remembering the proposition was hilarious and Buffy threatening to jump again, OMG, I was laughing so hard.



Sounds like Willow has a little attitude about Tara, thinking she was just going to take off again, and that she's just here for closure. Hopefully they can have a conversation and get some stuff cleared up, although I can see how that might be very, very difficult for both of them.



So please update soon because I can't wait to see what's next!



Wimpy





"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

[Wired vixen]

That was kinda sad at the end...not having those lil things in a relationship....which reminds me i'm single.....*sigh*

Anywho....GREAT UPDATE!!



Dawn cracks me up so much in this fic, i'm so glad you decided to make her older enough to drive! LOL



I love this fic! woooh!



Can't wait for the next part, pleeeeease make Jennifer evil!



Mini sis over and out!



Stace xXx

"Um...dont mean to ruin the sexcapades...but we need the chips out there. Xanders being a chip whore." -She's my always by spikeizmine87

[Miss Evanescent]

Hey Trace! wow that was a long update keep em coming teehee and as far as the aussie idea and you being in the story hehe you can always write an alternate ending ... teehee! i cant wait to see how willow reacts to this new rough edged tara!

more please

[Spikeizmine87]

Trace Trace Trace....I would love to be mean and vulgar, but alas, that is just not the way I do things when Im leaving feedback. How can you ever forgive me?? Well I do hope you can! hehe Wonderfull update! Although you might as well just set this in austraila, and then people would understand WHY Tara and Buffy have that lingo going on, now that would make sense yes? So when the hell are Willow and Tara gonna actually TALK. Or how bout, kiss and make up? Now dont you think they should being havin all the sex already? Come on, you know you wanna write the smutty goodness! Oh yes, i dont mind the name, its interesting! Update soonish!

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.

[Mikaelah Braenna]

Alright, I am a chapter behind, but I just had to point out this line.

Quote:

---

“Come to think of it, its been waaay to long where that is concerned”

---

You really should not tell everyone about your issues. I won't even bother to comment on the alcohol in this chapter. You know we love yah Tray.



~Mika

“You stop. It’s my turn to play.” Yesterday's Tomorrow~ Ch.23~Ophelia

[alysagoddess85]

haha...this was great...i love this fic...and for some reason this little phrase just cracked me up:

Quote:

---

shitting hell!

---

hehe...i love that...im going to say it forever and ever...i love it..just like the rest of this update...so great!



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[The Rose24]

I hope W/T get enough nerve to talk to one another soon.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[taralicious]

Tray,

Thanks about the name. It is a useful adjective to describe something/someone who possesses all of the life-affirming qualities of Ms.Maclay.

As for the Kittens being anti-Jennifer, we are a fiercely loyal bunch who are all about the and will resort to those who stand in the way of ced .

Dawn is showing herself to be the multi-tasking hat-wearing center of the household.

Quite a switch from Tara being a surrogate mother to Dawn to Dawn playing the role for both a drunken Tara and then a "Wake up, you've an interview this morning Tara."

Deny, deny, deny, is all I can make over Willow's ambivalence to Tara's extended presence in Sunnydale after three years.

Tara just proves herself to be even more the frontrunner in the noble and self-sacrificing stakes, it makes me love her more.

She is pragmatic about Willow finding someone else and tries to put on the resolve face regarding Willow's happiness, even if it's not with her.

I hope that won't be too long a stretch of time(hint, hint) or we may have to do an homage to Janet Leigh upon the hapless Jennifer i.e, Psycho.

Our happiest memories can sustain us but they can also rub raw the mental landscape if the reality conflicts with the memory.

In this case, seeing Willow with Jennifer or picturing the two of them in bed at night and then the flood of sensations in her arms is remembered.

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor Jennifers may stay our Willow from her appointed Tara.-The Code

[tarawhipped]

Great update, even though the angst was pretty heavy. Willow's obviously got some bitterness, but she's so unhappy I just want to give her a hug (and a whack on the head to wake her up). And poor Tara, thinking Willow's all moved on with Jennifer--NEVER!!! So now they have a month to figure things out and get with the kisses and gay love!

Quote:

---

It was only going to get harder from this point on

---

Or maybe you have more evilly angst in store for us. *gulp*



-Cameron

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

[LizPuRR]

i am loving this story...

i like the idea of Willow having another g/f why wouldn't she and why wouldn't Tara, it makes for some good angst....but i still want them back together in the end or sooner if possible

-----------------------------

you were the one, you were the only one and you were amazing