THREE WORDS

[sam darls]

I agree with sappho, that was gorgeous and really beautiful. I loved it Love sammi xx

[Red Jassy]

uhhh!!!! huh.... why did you left it there....@@!!!! you're so BAD@@!!!! UGH... you're so .

heheh... yeah.. i like tare-bear.. all so sweet.

OZ.. hmm.. why can't he see that willow's for Tara only.. humph



yay!!! update... thank you s0 much... i can't wait for the next update

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[SJ]

This is a great fic

[WintersDreamer]

I can't decided wether your just a big tease or you just like to torture us. Because it's a great story all sweet and angsty, ( is that even a word? Never try to think before going to work ), certainly brought back memories of the SG Blues.

I still think Tara should have beaned him with the book, preferrably a nice heavy world history tome.



Hope you update soon...

I'm off to earn the catfood and chocolate !

[snuggle79]

yeah, definetly big bad tease!!!

Tara and Willow are so damn loveable, i really enjoy this fic.

Can't wait for their "talk"!

great update!

snuggle79

This is how everyday should end and start ..and all the stuff in the middle

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[shuyaku]

Yes we know you're bad. You're bad. We really know it! And even though you are evil. Evil I say! I will share my lil' story of conversion with you.



My trip to the Isle of Lesbo was very similar to Willow's I think. I had my Xander. Well I had a couple of Xanders - guys I had huge crushes on for what seemed like forever, then we kissed a few times and that was it. I did avoid the whole 'kissing why they still had a girlfriend' fiasco - yay! I had my one Oz - the hetero relationship I thought was the one. That ended badly. Very badly actually. Although my 'Oz' never came back. Of course the lawsuit could have had some influence on that - but that's a whole other Oprah.



You spend the first 2...uh, 20-something years of your life thinking one thing, then you are minding your own business at a Wicca meeting (or in my case an acting class), you meet this girl and BLAMO!! Next thing you know, you're all with the coffee, kisses and gay love I'm sure that's not exactly how it happened, but looking back at it, that's how it feels.



I don't know if hard is the right word to describe it. I don't think it's any harder for me, than it is for someone that knows they are gay from the start. Scary is a pretty good word. And that still applies a little.



I'm not completely out. My family doesn't know, her's does. We work for the same company, but in different departments in different buildings. Everyone in her office knows, nobody in my office knows. Neither one of us hide it exactly. Most of my weekend reports are we did this, we did that, our house, our cats, etc. But my office is in general a lot less friend oriented. Not that the people in my office aren't friendly, they just aren't my friends. The people in her office seem to be a little more observant



She is A LOT more outgoing than I am. I'm the computer geek, she's the mayor. I call her that 'cause she knows EVERYBODY at work!! At least it seems that way when we are walking around. And she is like a 'siren' for straight women. She could open her own toaster oven store Not that she's had all those women, but an unusual number of straight women seem to ask her out. We get a good laugh out of it actually.



My little story almost turned into a novel I think the hardest part has been the in jokes. Even now, five years later she'll say something, and I'll be like, "Is that some kind of lesbian reference, honey?" Then she has to explain it to me



And I am absolutely loving this story, so more soon. Please

-shuyaku

------------------------------------

"Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[Taras Shadow]

Sleek,



Dude, why'd ya leave it there? The suspense is killing me...okay, not killing and actually, I like the suspense...but dude...



Beautiful written and well done. I hope they kiss...soon. You know, with a peck of the lips here, and a peck of the lips there...and a little of the roaming hands...



*coughs*



Anyway, I'm loving this completely. Keep up the wonderful work.



~Holly~

"I've got this ache, and I thought it was for sex, but it's to tear everything to fucking pieces." Ginger - Ginger Snaps

[Arwen276]

Beautiful! Magnificent! I just love seeing Willow from Tara's POV. Tara is very insightful and emotional, and she's a very deep character.



It's really a joy to read!! Please more!





~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Spot]

Wow!!

Okay, i can not decide whether to love you or hate you right now. I have to love you because this is such a great fic and i love the way Tara thinks of Willow, but i also have to hate you because you keep ending it in all the right places ( i know you have to, stupid writers) and make me check the update thread twenty times every day. Please update soon?

-michelle

[the vamp nurd]

any body want to Sleek?



I'm putting my name down.



TVN "You're only crazy when you start answering back to the voices in your head."

Sorry I missed church, I was busy becoming a lesbian and worshiping Satan



Open up Pandora's kiss.



Bardlet no #27

[AmberAlysonlover]

awwww that was sooooo cute! I hope Tara can tell Willow the three magical words soon

[FloatingRose]

that was mean...no, not just mean..inhumane..! lol.

[BigGayBear]

That's just mean... you... ummm... meany...



Still lovin this fic...



Al

[barnabasvamp]

Sleek!!!

I see you are up to your old tricks again, leaving us hanging like that!



Someone told me about this fic, silly me I almost missed it!

Such a sweet story, and so real.



More soon??

BV

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before"-Mae West

[Tempest Duer]

Sleek, this is a very cute and sad story. I love the trials and tribulations though, because it makes the happy ending that much more satisfying. Yes, you're evil and all that wonderful stuff, but leaving us hanging is all right... occasionally. I won't you... yet.

Choosing not to decide is still a choice.

[FeLiNe Th0uGhTs]

C'MON SLEEK! I rarely write under here..lurk mostly..but you HAVE to continue this! Have you no idea how much these kittens ( including myself ) l o v e this fic?

Update update update..we must see our Tara get her girl..and soon, so please?!



*Apologizes for the demands..*

[Sleek]

PARTIAL REPLIES



Sappho

I used to think 'enthralled' was used just to describe musicals and Neil Gaiman books. Thank you for a -worthy feedback!



Grace

I like Grace better, there's a certain, umm, grace to it.



sammi

I never got to thank you for meticulously leaving feedback in 'Finding You' and all my other fics. A faithful reader is as hard to find as faithful…others. Anyway thanks



Red Jassy

Look at me…I have horns, in Willow-jargon that means I'm horny. On a more serious note, Oz won't be out of the picture too soon. Since Vampires and super villains didn't audition for this fic…I have to rely on other bad guys to pull in that fine tension called conflict.



SJ

Mwah! Thanks!



WintersDreamer

How can you appreciate the sweetness if you hadn't your share of angst, and a chock full of frustrating cliffies? Thanks for the feedback Enjoy your catfood. I never had the urge to taste it.



snuggle79

Replies now, update soon. Thanks for lovin this And I agree with your Moulin Rouge sig: 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.' Sigh.



shuyaku

that was a very colorful tale about your 'enlightenment.' I thought you saw an invisible ray or something (wait…that sort of ruins the invisible part).



"You spend the first 2...uh, 20-something years of your life thinking one thing, then you are minding your own business at a Wicca meeting (or in my case an acting class), you meet this girl and BLAMO!!" (that powerful an experience, huh?)



I guess it's natural to be scared, especially if you're not completely out (look at me, talking as if I'm out). I'm actually stay-innie. I think I'm more of omnisexual than bi. I fall in love with souls — not genders. There was this one time, I had a cute puppy who I suspected had a soul - a pretty soul and I'm not gonna elaborate on my story 'coz there isn't one. (now you know why I'm stay innie, when I talk I become a hazard to myself!)



Maybe you can write a fic about the "Siren for Straights" based on your honey. Sounds like a very interesting and charming character indeed. The 'Mayor' converts the 'Geek.'



Thanks for sharing the personal stuff. I'm actually that impressionable twenty-something who still needs a lotta guidance about this. Sleek



Holly

Dude! The peck of the lips and the roamin' of hands is indeed in my plot…it's here somewhere (Sleek shuffles sheaves of papers). AHA…there it is…potential musky, body-glistening, intertwined limbs, and hip writhing W/T scene. But wait…it's allotted for another fic because this is a PG 13 after all. There might be kiddies lurkin about. Thank you for appreciating this by the way. I'm certainly inspired to write more.



Arwen276

Tara's POV is interesting indeed. She sees a lot of things many us don't (as for example, Willow's kissable proximity). Will their lips and souls finally meet, combust, and shimmer? Stay tuned and thank you for the feedback.



==

Kittens,

Ow! Ow! Careful on the swatting. After I'm done with my recent Frankenstein of a project at work, I'll update in a jiffy. Keep your eyes peeled next week. And my profound thanks for making me feel writing this is a fulfilling and enriching endeavor.





Sleek



P.S.More replies to follow!

==

[WintersDreamer]

What !!! Do you really think the lord and master of household would even dain to share his nibblies with us peons .... ? Not in his lifetime !?! ( or mine for that matter! )



Please update update soon... :0

[shuyaku]

It very well could have been an invisible ray - I certainly didn't see it coming. One month I'm straight... 4 months later I'm not. I was kinda like, "How the hell did that happen?"



It was a very powerful experience, especially in hindsight. I definitely wasn't looking for it, but it had my number alright! It was epiphinistic (that is actually a word - I looked it up and everything ) I definitely fell in love with a soul. She is my soulmate - of that I have absolutely no doubt.



Good for you that you have an open mind. You are still young and when the right soul comes along, you'll know it if you allow yourself to believe. (Gosh that sounds all know-it-ally )



Me write - now that's funny I'll leave that to you as I'm more the type.



-shuyaku

------------------------------------

"Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[Hanki]

oh my god i just found and this fic and im LOVING it, its beautifully written and the suspense is killing me.



of course i had to find it when we were waiting for an update in this particular spot didn't i... *sigh* hurry up and update!

~ Han ~


"the fatal flaw of 'Who's Gurkhan?' was that nobody cared who he was as long as Gabrielle kept dancing in that skimpy outfit..." ~ me on Xena season six ep 'Who's Gurkhan.'

[Sappho]

Awww, I liked your reply to my feedback. Oh, and more soon?

~Sappho

Willow: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person.

***

Anya: Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Looks at him w/ disbelief] Bartender: I.D.

Anya: I’m 1,120 years old!!! Just give me a friggin’ beer! Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Sigh] Give me a Coke.

[Red Jassy]

hey sleek

heheh horny hmmm...

anyways, can't wait for your update.

thanks again for your wonderful fic and the 0h so thrill of love and lust and everything

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[Sleek]

Michelle

Hello kindred writer! I read your feed back in my other fic "Fnding You" and I'm glad another writer appreciates my work. And you if you still can't decide whether to love me or hate me…I'll give you this to make up your mind.



the vamp nurd

Ow! Ow! That's ten! Ten strokes Mistress!



AmberAlysonlover

What magical words? Abra cadabra?



Floating Rose

Inhamane? Moi? Je nes comprenez pas.



Al

Let's do the dance of the meany



BV

Hey girl! What do you mean but old tricks? Have a left you hanging before?



Tempest Duer

Hey, I saw your name on the author's thread. You have your own fic, cool! And I wanna give you a for not swatting me. At least you understand the necessity of tears. Thank you for the insightful feedback.



FeLiNe Th0uGhTs

:kitten Here I am with an update. Will I get nibblies? WintersDreamer raided my supply.



WintersDreamer (for mentioning nibblies), Shuyaki (for looking up the word 'epiphinistic'), Hanki , Sappho , Red Jassy



==

Dear Kitens,



If you're not in the mood for angst, I advise you to run, flee, and skedaddle.



Sleek

==



THREE WORDS

Part 4

By Sleek



"You go first," Willow said from underneath me.



"Uh…o-okay." I said, suddenly forgetting why I came up in her room in the first place.



My mind was too busy stilling my knee. It ached to rest against the warm place between her legs. It certainly didn't help when she reached out and twirled a lock of my hair.



When her fingertips rubbed my scalp, I closed my eyes and released the first words that rolled off my tongue.



"I missed you."



Was that my voice? It sounded too thick and husky. Too obvious. Too…gay.



I opened my eyes and was surprised to see that she wasn't scrunching her nose in disgust at the obvious gayness of my statement. In fact, the way her lips were curving up, it looked like she was…pleased.



"I missed you too," she confessed as she withdrew her hand from my hair. "I know I wasn't exactly Miss Available the past week, but I just needed to sort something out by myself."



A huge, jagged rock seemed to have lodged in my throat as I saw the image of Willow-lips wrapping around Oz-lips.



I was overcome by the sudden urge to retch.



Quickly, I lifted my body from hers and shakily stood up. She seemed surprised at my sudden departure and scrambled to her feet as well. We sat on her bed, facing each other.



Her poster of Albert Einstein peered at me curiously from hooded, wrinkled eyes—as if he knew what I was about to say but wasn't sure if I'm brave enough to say it.



Willow noticed I was staring at every part of her room except for herself. She's quite keen, my Willow. Too bad she's not keen enough to notice she has my heart in her hands.



"Tara?" it was a call to attention.



Why can't I look at her?



"O-Oz kissed you, didn't he?" I whispered, finally meeting her eyes.



"How—"



"He told me," I said. My eyes flashed accusingly. "I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable enough to tell me. I-I mean…just because you're my dearest friend doesn't give me the right to know everything about you. Why…why would I expect you to? I mean…I'm just…someone who happens to be around you….like…oxygen. You don't tell oxygen your intimate secrets, right? 'Coz I-I'm nothing! I'm invisible!"



I lost it, I know. This wasn't my plan. Willow looking flustered and confused wasn't in my plan. I hate myself for acting this way—like a jealous girlfriend with a bad case of PMS.



"Tara, why are you so upset? Of course you're oxygen. Oxygen is essential. You're essential. You're not nothing. If I hear you talking about yourself like that I may have to spank you—and not in a fun, 'ooh-hit-me-hit-me' way either."



I felt the corner of my lips lift into a reluctant grin.



"You're so unfair," I muttered.



"Huh?" If I thought Willow looked confused before. Now, she was downright mystified.



"Here I am being a drama queen and you're all still being…Willowy."



"What's unfair about being…Willowy?"



Her eyes were so wide she looked like one of those Japanese Anime characters. No, a Power Puff girl. God, I wanted to hold her so much.



"Because you're being funny and lovable and I'm being…" I sighed as I stopped the word from spilling from my mouth.



Jealous. Oh god, I'm insanely jealous.



"Tara, I was gonna tell you everything. You have the right to know. You are, and always will be, my best friend." Her hand found its way into mine. Her fingers traced the slopes of my palm.



Why does she have to make this so frickin' hard?!



Why do I have to love her so damn much?!



My eyes burned. My throat constricted as I contained the torrent of emotions. I didn't open my mouth for fear that she would hear the wailing of my soul. I'm not the one she needs, not the way I want to be needed.



Best friend. She needs a best friend right now. I can do that. I'm here for her, and not her for me.



I took a deep breath and focused all my energy on Willow. As long as she's happy, I'll do whatever it takes—even my own happiness.



"Sorry about overreacting. It's just that…Oz kissing you is something huge, and I had no idea what you were going through and it made me feel…" I rummaged my mind for the right words so I wouldn't upset her, "I felt left out."



There, that was close to the truth—if you define close as the abundance of distance.



I sighed. If I were truthful, I'd say I was hurt because no-one gets to kiss her but me. Her lips were made to fit mine—like socks to feet, all snuggly. She just doesn't know it yet.



"If I told you everything, would it help? Will it make you feel…left in?" Willow's fingers traveled from my palm to the thin skin on my wrist.



My pulse quickened. It was such a simple contact but that was all it took.



I nodded mutely and allowed my fingers to caress her wrist. Unconsciously, our hands were doing what I envisioned our bodies would do: rub and dance against each other.



"Okay, where do I start?" she said as she tucked her legs under her and shifted closer towards me.



Not trusting my voice, I kept silent. The only question I wanted to ask if she liked kissing Oz.



"Did you like kissing Oz?"



To hell with being silent. My tongue is on auto-play.



"Wow, talking about cutting to the chase," she said, slightly taken aback. She chewed my question in her head. "Well…It was kinda awkward. We were in the computer room marveling at the beauty of binary numbers when whoops! His lippies were pressed against mine, and they were moving slowly as if he was waiting for me to pull away or join in the fray."



For once in my life, I wish I didn't have a vivid imagination. Her words took me to a bad visual place. Did she weave her hands around his hair? Did she pull him closer?



"So…Did you…join in the fray?" I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.



"Well the shockness factor paralyzed me. So he pulled away and told me he thinks he's in love with me," her eyebrows arched as if she found the thought alien. "Crazy huh? I thought you feel love, not think it. He said he thinks he's in love. But, besides our mutual affection for operating systems and hypertext mark up languages, I don't know if we have anything else in common. But I want to find out. So I decided…"



"What?" I breathed out.



This is it. The edge of the cliff. Her next words would either push me down to a bed of knives or make me soar.



"To give him a chance. I don't love him. He knows it. But there's something missing in my life and…I just wanna see if it's him."



How can you be so blind Willow? I fit you! We fit together!



If she could hear the wailing of my heart, she would probably go deaf.



I look at the irony of our hands, comfortably embracing each other, reveling in each other's softness. Sometimes, the language of our hands holds more truth than words.



I eased my hand away.



"Hey, what's with taking away Tara-paws?"



Willow-hands go with Tara-paws.



I looked at my lone hand sadly. It looked like a broken wing without its pair. There's only one thing left I need to know.



"A-Are you sure? Will be being with Oz make you happy?"



I turned my eyes on her and drank in every minute detail of her face. She gazed into me, imploringly, as if willing me to understand what she was about to say.



"He won't hurt me on purpose and he's really sweet. I just want to give him a chance and see if we'll both be happy."



It was at that instant that I knew I have lost.



Her words punctured my heart and it would bleed soon through my eyes.



I have to go.



"Oh," I said, hollowly. "Look at the time. Mama might be worried. Bye Willow."



"Tara, wait."



But I can't stand looking at her. She would see everything. She sees me like no one else can but she's blind at what we could be, together.



I went to her window and considered hurling myself through it. I stepped down the ladder without care if I slipped or fell. I landed heavily on my feet and ran away.



I didn't see what happened next. Everything was blurred from the torrent of my tears.





***

TBC (I never intended to put the maudlin on, but remembering my own heartbreak just made me do this. Here, Dumbo will make you feel better.)

[Washi]

Sleek, you made me cry, a lot. Great stuff, and update soon, please.

-------------------



"See? I've mastered this tact crap." Anya in Tears Of The Goddess by Lisa



The course of love doesn’t always run smooth, especially for the neurotic and accident-prone. ~ LadyB



.:Dark-bliss.net :..:My blog:..:Blood and Ink:.

[Jennpurr]

Quote:

---

I didn't see what happened next. Everything was blurred from the torrent of my tears.

---

What does that mean???







Please... please, don't let anything happen to Tara! That was so unfair for you to end it there. Willow needs to be smacked up side the head. She's blind and needs to wake up! Grrr....



Sorry... got a little emotional there.



Please update soon? I can't take the suspense.







Poor Tara. She's making my heart break! *sniff*



On a more positive note, have I mentioned that I love the word, "Tarapaws?" Very cute!



More soon, please!



Don't make me beg. It's pitiful, really.



Jen

||My Fan Fiction and More!|| ||My Yahoo Group|| ||September 11th 2001 - An on-line Memorial||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"One thing I don't understand," Willow went on, laying herself down on top of Tara's legs, with her head resting on her stomach, "is how you don't just lock yourself in your room and play with yourself all day."
Tara laughed, which caused her chest to shudder quite expressively, and Willow to, "Mmmm," again. "Hellebore," Chapter 20 by Chris Cook

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 10/6/03 7:58 pm

[Jenamber]

Ouch!!! Poor ...............y is so dense?!!! someone please Will on the head soon! How could she even tell Tare that she's givin Oz a chance. Thats just painful!



btw, i love this fic!



jen

[WintersDreamer]

Ok.... you are breaking my heart..... mucho unhappy face here.



Please don't leave it like this ....



update soon pppllllleeeeaaaassssseeeee!

[Red Jassy]

sleek



i don't have much to say... just badly.

i love the angst.. The angst in fics makes it more realistic.. i love it. thanks again for your wonderful fic.

I could relate to Tara's feelings.. its like your heart is being wretched out of you and be stumped on.. and on.. ugh. pure torture.Sad and s0 true..

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[Sappho]

Oh, oh, oh my gosh! Tara, wait!!! Willow has to know something's up now! Go back and talk to her!!! Aaaaahhhh, crimeny. I am really looking forward to the next update. I betcha Willow will be very much less dense. ...Please?

~Sappho

Willow: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person.

***

Anya: Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Looks at him w/ disbelief] Bartender: I.D.

Anya: I’m 1,120 years old!!! Just give me a friggin’ beer! Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Sigh] Give me a Coke.

[screeminguitar]

Oh man!! Sitting at the edge of my chair now, about to fall, oooooffff , too late!!

Great writing---this is so good!!!

Thanks, Marie