making choices

[Imjustme]

Title - making choices

Author name - Imjustme

Rating - not sure yet I'm just kind of going with it so there is a possibility of anything for now.

Disclaimer - Angst and maybe more I won't really know until it's done

Feedback- sure...but please be gentle or I will cry

Summary- basically written from Tara's point of view and alot of conflicting emotions and debating on how to go about getting the girl she loves. I have NEVER no NEVER tried this before sooooo if it is completely horrific I'm sorry.







Tara paced her room thinking to herself.



"What am I going to do?" "I can't tell my best friend I'm in love with her...

what if she freaks out and never wants to see my again? What if she DOES like me and I blow it by not saying anything or getting too nervous."



Tara glaced at her watch





"hmmm almost time for class I better get going"



She was walking down the hall towards class when she heard Willow's voice call her.





"Hey Tara"



"Oh, h-hi Will, how are you?"



"I'm fine and dandy...I was hoping to see you.

I was thinking maybe we could get togeather tonight and hang if you aren't too busy"



"Oh, I'm never too busy for you!" Tara blurted out then blushed and looked down.



"Great! So, I'll come by later tonight then?"Willow said



"o-ok that s-sounds good"



Willow reached out and took Tara's hand leading her down the hall towards her class.



Inside the room Tara's thoughts went back to Willow and how or if she should tell her how she felt about her.





"Why, does this have to be so damned hard?" she thought



"I don't want to loose her as a friend but every time I am with her I want it to never end.

I want to touch her..to hold her...

the thought of her with anyone else breaks my heart."



Tara smiled to herself thinking how good it felt to hold her hand. How soft and warm and beautiful she was. How she would do anything to be with her and make her happy. Just then the bell rang





"Class is over already??!

I didn't even take notes!

I have to do something...if I keep this up I am never going to pass any of my classes."



Tara quickly grabbed her things and raced out into the hall hoping to meet Willow again. Her eyes searched the hall and spotted Willow walking towards her.





"Hey you" She said as she reached her



"Hey yourself...how did class go?"



"oh umm it went quick" Tara replyed



"Is everything ok you seem like something is bothering you?" Willow asked worried



"I'm fine" Tara said trying to sound convincing.

"it's just...I've been having trouble with my notes and I am worried that I won't do well"



"Well no worries and no sad faces either"

"I'll help you study when I come over tonight" Willow said taking her hand.



Tara smiled and gripped her hand tightly.



"How am I going to do this" she Just then a voice behind them yelled "Hey you two...why don't you just go get a room already?"[/i] Tara and Willow both turned quickly looking shocked and recognized a boy they both shared classes with.[/i]





"W-w-what?" Tara stammered.



"oh come on you two like each other the only people that don't see it are you...so just tell each other already and get it over with"



both girls stood in a state of shock looking at each other when the bell rang saving them from the total embarassment they were both currently sharing.





"We're late!" Willow said speaking up..."we better ge going"



"Y-yes, we should" Tara struggled to get words to form and they both hurried off and down the hall.



"I guess now I have my reason to bring up the subject to Willow..." Tara thought to herself as she entered her class.

Edited by: Imjustme at: 12/23/03 4:56 pm

[Aine]

hey! i think you have a great start to a fic...i always love fics from tara's point of view...

but if i might make a suggestion? spacing...you wrote the entire thing like one huge paragraph, therefore making it very hard to read, to follow with my eyes...do you have a beta reader? if you don't, i'd be willing to help, or there is a beta thread here on the board full of wonderful beta's. and if you do, i harbor nothing against the reader, cuz the story is absolutely wonderful...just hard for my eyes to adjust...i am sorry if i sound mean and all knowing, cuz honestly i am neither...i really do hope to read more from you! it looks like it's going to be an incredible fic!!!



Aine

[justkazy]

hey, i gree with Aine on both suggestions. spacing=good, fic=

I love fics in Tara's POV!

There aren't too many out there, so i can't wait to read what happens.



keep up the great work

Lead me not to temptation....I can find it myself

[TaraBaby77]

Great stuff!!! You definitely have something good going here. And not to sound like I'm jumping on the bandwagon but I agree with them. Space it out a little and you are ROCKIN'!!! anyhoo, if you got any more, please share, heehee.... 'sharing is caring'... =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[onyxsundrops]

Great start! I don't mean to sound like an annoying parrot or anything, but once you space it out a bit, it'll be perfect. Looking forward to the next update!



Onyx

[Imjustme]

heehee ok I see your point. It IS hard to read and I hadn't intended that. SO, I broke down and used wordpad. HOPEFULLY, it won't be so bad this time around. Grammer/spelling skills= not my thing...but I'm working on it. SLOWLY but working nevertheless.

---

“That was really weird. I hope Willow isn’t freaked out...

I mean it was really weird. How did he know I like her?

Am I that obvious?

I wonder if Willow has noticed too?

Maybe I am being too pushy. But he said WE like each other.

Could she really feel the same about me?”



        Just then the bell rang signaling the end of yet another class.



“Shit...I did it AGAIN!”

“I def. can NOT keep this up.”



        After finishing with classes for the day Tara packed her things and headed back to her room to get ready to meet Willow.



“Maybe I should light some candles. No, that might look odd. Hmm...

We do have them lit a lot when we do spells though. I don’t suppose just a few would hurt.”



        Tara dimmed the lights and lit some candles casting a soft slow around the room. Just then there was a knock at the door.



        “Willow, hey come in”



“Hey Tara, I know I am a little early but I was really looking foward to seeing you and I well I was kind of worried that maybe you were feeling all weird after that thing with the guy. Because the thing with the guy well it equaled very weird. Not that I feel weird about it or anything but I thought maybe you might.”

       

        Willow paused and took in the surroundings



“Wow, it looks really nice.”



        Great she thinks it was weird too and here I am with the whole room thing and now she probably thinks it’s super weird. Gah what was I thinking?



“Ohh, umm thanks. I was umm I h-had a light burn out”



        Oh yeah good excuse what if she turns on the light? Tara thought to herself





“Oh, so nice looking not on my behalf huh? Willow asked



“NO, I mean y-yes...I mean..

that’s not what I meant."

“This is not coming out right at all” Tara sighed



“I was just kidding.” Willow said trying to comfort her

“You know you’ve been bordering on babble mode all day.”

“Maybe some of my Willow-y goodness has rubbed off on you.”



        Oh god I WISH. Ahhh shut up Tara. Stupid brain no stupid body ugh ok I have to stop thinking so much.





“Oh, I j-just have a lot on my m-mind. Tara stammered



“Yeah, like what?” Willow smiled and brushed Tara’s hair back behind her ear.



“Umm...different stuff nothing really in general.” Tara blushed



“Seems like a lot of thinking for nothing much.” Willow argued

“Come on tell me about it.”

“You’ll feel better I promise” Willow grinned



“Well...”



        Tara took a deep breath and decided it was now or never





“You know how you said it was weird about the guy?”



“Yes” Willow nodded



“Well, it was but it made me think a lot and..

I was wondering what..I mean...

How you f-felt about it.”



        Willow paused and suddenly felt like a deer caught in headlights



“Well, I was def. All with the weirded out ness.”

“Not saying the thought of you is weird. Ok, maybe a little.

NO, I didn’t mean that. I mean that’s not what I meant.

It’s just weird what he said because you’re all with the prettiness and you’re so nice and you are so

above me with the wicca and all...and I mean it’s not like someone like you would go for someone like me.

Because...HELLO...geeky Willow and wow wonderful Tara” “So way above my level nope no chance for me.”





        Willow stopped and looked at Tara.



“I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable.”



        Tara stood in awe. Did she just say I was wonderful. Could it be true? Could she really like me? No, it can’t be true...



“Tara?” Willow began to worry



        I can’t believe it...Tara’s thoughts raced



“Tara?” why isn’t she saying anything...Willow wondered



       

it just can’t be true....





“TARA!” Willow said getting really scared that her best friend was freaked



“H-huh?” Tara asked

“I’m s-sorry”



“Are you ok?” Willow asked worried



“I didn’t make you uncomfey did I?”

“Why am I asking that of course I did”

“I just blurted all this stuff out at you

and now you think I am some freak or something.”

“Maybe I should just go.”



“NO!” Tara said quickly

“don’t go...please”

“I don’t think that at all...I was just...

Shocked.”

“I think you’re g-great Willow and you’re so not above me”

“you’re everything...you’re MY everything”



“W-willow?”



“Yes” Willow asked



“I l-love you”...

[TaraBaby77]

WAHOO!!! I love this!!! And the spacing they.... that made a HUGE difference. Yeappers, I am going to have to put this fic in my bookmarks box, heehee. Great update. Keep them comin', kay??? Great job!!! =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[sam darls]

Hi...awww, I absolutely adore this. It's so sweet. More soon? Love sammi xx

[musicmad10]

Wow, this story is really cool. I think they're really sweet together! I hope they can work it out.

Hannah

[Imjustme]

Thank you all very much for the comments and for taking the time to read. Let me know if it starts to suck too bad...

---

"there I said it...I love Willow"



Tara felt like she was caught in a hurricane...so many emotions came crashing over her at once.

Fear, relief, love, worry...she waited for Willow's response.





"I love you too"





Tara felt as though she was going to faint. She loves me...she LOVES me...she felt tears form in her eyes.

This was what she had been dreaming of since the first time they met. She had felt a little guilty at first. Almost as though

she was somehow cheating Willow by loving her so quickly and completely before they had really even talked. She knew though deep down that this

was where she was meant to be forever. It wasn't just lust it was love. She had felt a bond with Willow from the very start. There was such kindness and care

in her eyes and in her actions it was almost as if you could peek into her soul.





"I felt it from the moment I saw you Willow" "There was just something about you...it's like your spirit called out to me"

"I know that sounds funny but..."





"No" Willow spoke up

"No, I felt it too" "I mean it was confusing...I'd never felt anything like this before but it was just..."





"powerful" Tara offered



"yes...powerful"





She looked deep into Willow's eyes still in awe of everything that was happening.

Reaching out and gently brushing Willow's cheek.



"you are so beautiful..."



"you make me beautiful your prettiness is contagious" Willow responded



Tara blushed and looked down



"I don't deserve you"



"Tara, you stop that" Willow said instantly and firmly

"Yes, you do...I'm the one that dosen't deserve you...can't you see how wonderful you are?"

"you are the most thoughtful, nice, intelligent, beautiful, no gorgeous...sweet...lovely person ever and you better not ever think

otherwise or I may have to spank you" Willow said with a seductive grin.



Tara smiled and looked up...finally pushing some of her fear aside she stepped foward and kissed Willow. The feeling was everything she had hoped for and more.

She wrapped her arms around her and felt Willow's hands stroke her hair. For the first time in her life she actually felt special...

Breaking the kiss and letting out a sigh she stepped back



"That was..."



"Wow" Willow stated breathlessly



"very wow" Tara agreed

Edited by: Imjustme at: 12/11/03 2:32 pm

[justkazy]

very,very,very wow

loving this fic!

more please

Lead me not to temptation....I can find it myself

[AmbeRocks]

hey

i read both of your stories tonite, and let me tell you that i really like the way you're writting! your and are just too cute, just like in my head i guess...!

anyway, just keep on with the updates!



jen

There is such a variety of well-invented things that the earth is like the breasts of a woman: useful as well as pleasing - Nietzsche

[Doppelganger5x5]

Great Great Great story so far. Im totally lovin' it! I really hope the next update is soon, cuz i want MORE!!!

I hate everything about you,why do i love you,You hate everything about me, why do you love me~3 Days Grace

[sam darls]

That was so beautiful Love sammi xx

[SaraBiga]

Soooooo sweet!

[gottalovewillow]

Live the way this is starting out. cant wait to read more!

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun.



Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

[TaraBaby77]

That was just too beautiful. Just plain beautiful. Great update. Yeappers, I'm hooked. Keep those updates comin', kay??? =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

Edited by: TaraBaby77 at: 12/12/03 8:52 am

[musicmad10]

Hi, very good. It was so sweet! Hope there's an update soon.

Luv Hannah

[Imjustme]

Well, I've got some major writer's block going but I did force myself to write something...it's not much but maybe it will be a start...thank you all for the comments ...ok here goes

---

“I love you too”



Willow’s heart was racing and her head was spinning. She felt as if she would faint.



“Tara...I really want to kiss you” She said in an almost whisper



Tara smiled and looked deep into her eyes



“Well, what are you waiting for?”



Smiling back Willow took Tara in her arms and kissed her softly at first...allowing herself to put aside any fear she might have of not living up to Tara’s expectations she deepened the kiss. Slowly stroking Tara’s hair and feeling arms wrap tightly around her back pulling her closer.



Somehow during the process they managed to make their way to the bed. They shared a final kiss and snuggled against each other.



“Mmm...I can’t believe this is really happening” Tara sighed



“Neither can I...”



There was a brief pause



“So it’s official then?” Willow asked



“What?”



“You’re my girl” Willow responded



Tara giggled softly



“Of course silly...I told you before...I’m yours”



“And I’m yours” Willow agreed



Holding each other close they both drifted to sleep.

[sam darls]

That was soo lovely and really very beautiful Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Imjustme]

I decided to change this story around. I will be editing spelling and things as I go and adding to it.

---

Tara woke the next morning to find Willow watching from beside her.



"How long have you been up?" She asked



"I'm not sure...I kind of got lost in you"



Tara smiled.





"So, do you want to get some breakfast?" She asked Willow



"Oh, um, well...I sort of have something I need to do. You mind if I use your phone?"



"Not at all." Tara replied



"Thanks."



Willow got up, wrapping a white silk sheet around her, walked to the phone, and dialed the number.



"Hey Buffy, listen I sort of have something I want to talk to you about. Would you mind meeting me at the shop in an hour or so?"

"Thanks, I'll see you in a bit"



Willow hung up the phone.



"Tara" She said turning to see a worried or maybe it was a disappointed look on Tara's face.



"y-yes?...is everything ok?" She asked



"Oh, everything is fine. I just need to talk to Buffy about something."



"Oh" Tara said softly.



Taking notice of the sad look on Tara's face Willow quickly spoke up.



"Hey, I was thinking maybe you'd like to come with"



Tara looked up in surprise.



"A-are you s-sure you w-want me to?"



"Of course."



"I'd love to join you, Willow."



Tara stopped and seemed to be thinking deep about something.



"ummm sweetie?"



"yes?"



"W-when we g-get there. How should I a-act?" Tara asked



Willow looked confused.



"What do you mean?"



"Well, I mean, if you want me to act like n-nothing h-happened I will" Tara waited nervously for an answer



"Tara, no I'm got going to hide anything. I'm proud of you"

"Besides, I'm not making any promises of keeping hands to self that I'm not sure I can keep" She added with a grin.



Tara smiled obviously pleased with the answer.



"Besides, that's sort of the something I wanted to talk to Buffy about."



"o-oh"



The two got dressed and headed out hand in hand. As they walked, Tara noticed Willow had gotten very quiet. She decided it was a sign that something must be bothering her.



"Everything okay?" She asked softly.



"Huh? Oh, yes."



Willow sighed.



"Actually no, I'm worried."



"That's understandable, sweetie." Tara said, placing a hand on Willow's arm.



"You know, Buffy is your friend though, whatever happens I'm sure she'll be there for you."



"Yes, it's just..."



"She has no idea. None of the gang does. At least, I don't think they do, but what if they DO know. What if they have known all along? What if I'm the last person to find out I'm gay?!"



"Umm sweetie, I don't think..." Tara tried to cut in



"What if I've been just walking around with this big flashing "I'm gay" sign the whole time?"



"Umm Will..."



"They'll think I didn't trust them enough to tell them. They won't want to be friends with someone that dosen't trust them. We'll stop talking, I'll get depressed, my grades will drop, and I won't be able to get a job.

My god Tara! Any day now, I could be thrown in jail after having resorted to stealing to support us!"



"Willow stop." That's NOT going to happen.



"How do you know?"



"Well, for one thing, I could always get a job and support you." She smiled



Willow couldn't help but smile back.



"You're right, Buffy's my friend."



They stopped walking as they reached the shop. After sharing a loving glance, Tara followed Willow inside.

They didn't get far inside the door before Willow stopped, almost causing Tara to run into her.



"What are you doing here?"



"Working, I work here. Really Willow, to be so smart, you have an amazing lack of sight for the obvious." Anya stated



"Not you. I was talking about Xander." She shot back, rolling her eyes



"Helping, it's what I do. Are you feeling okay, Will? You seem a little...snippy"



"No, I'm fine. I just..."



"Wasn't expecting to see you all."



"So, what's up?" Buffy asked stepping out from behind a bookcase.



"Oh, ummm, Well, you see..."



She glanced around at everyone, debating if this was a good idea after all.



"I wanted to tell you something. It's not that big a deal really, I mean it IS! It IS a big deal."



She looked nervously at Tara, who placed a hand on her back for support.



"Do you think you all could maybe, stop staring at me?" Willow asked



"Got it, no staring. Check." Buffy said



"Thanks. Anyway, I just mean, it's nothing you should make a big deal out of."



"Willow, maybe if you told us what it is, we could work on how we will react. Until then, we're really not getting anywhere." Buffy offered



"Right, so ummm I wanted to tell you that Tara..."



She paused



"That Tara is..."



She struggled to find the right words to say. Everyone waited and watched. Anya took note of Tara's hand resting on Willow's back and the way she looked at her.



"OH! I know! I know! Tara's your girlfriend." Anya practically bounced



Willow opened her mouth then closed it. She looked at Anya.



"Well.."



"I was right!" She did bounce this time



"What are you saying, Willow" Buffy asked



"She's saying she likes the boobies." Anya nodded



"An.." Xander glanced at her, hoping she wouldn't go on



"What? I'm just saying, she likes breasts. There's nothing wrong with that. You like them."



"I'm not sure I would word it quite that way, but Anya's right." Willow said nervously



"Oh, well, that's...great. Why didn't you tell us before?" Buffy asked taking a seat in a nearby chair



"Yes, why didn't you tell us. We're girls. We have breasts. Don't you like us?"



"I...umm...I...Someone make her stop!" Willow pleaded



"You don't like our boobies!" Anya shouted in an accusing and somewhat insulted tone



"I do too! Wait! I mean, I do NOT! Wait, give me a minute, I'll think of an answer. What in the frilly heck kind of accusation is that anyway?"

Edited by: Imjustme at: 8/24/04 9:58 am

[TaraBaby77]

AWESOME update. Ahhh, just beautiful. Oh, and kuddos on the Willow babble, heehee, nice job. Anyhoo, I love where this is heading and can't wait for another update. So, pretty please, can you bless us with another one??? . Once again, great work!!! =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[Arwen276]

I so love this!!

They're so cute! and Willow babble is so endearing!



I'm glad they're not going to hide it!



more?



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Imjustme]

(This message was left blank)

Edited by: Imjustme at: 8/24/04 9:56 am

[The Rose24]

Obviously, Oz can't control the wolf well enough.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[sam darls]

Ooh, great update , I hope evrything works out..Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)