Hey Kittens, I had off today, and since you asked so nice ... here is another update. I hope I answered some of the questions that you may have had. And Spike … Well, I'm leaving, or trying to, leave his motives sort of ambiguous at this point. I think it makes for better reading that way.
Thank you for your comments and feedback Kittens, I know the angst makes this story hard to follow, so thanks for sticking around. I'm floored by the emotional responses that this fic has managed to cause, I consider to be one of the greatest compliments a writer could receive.
Zahir, I am beyond flattered to know that you have recommended my fic to others, wow! And you want to nominate it for an award, I'm double wowed and double flattered. I don't know how award worthy it is, but if it's finished (I'll try to get it done before then) before July 20th (you did mean July and not June right?) then I would be honored to have it nominated.
PEACE … Dix
O' yeah, and kind of with the sadness again, so watch out for that and please don't hate me, there is goodness to come, I promise.
PART 17
Buffy reached for the ringing phone, "What?" she spat into the receiver. She wasn't asleep, but if she was the phone would have woken her up. She wasn't angry at the caller, but just life in general. She was angry, sad, confused, and feeling more guilty then she ever had before.
Willow was sinking deeper and deeper into her well of despair, Dawn was inconsolable, just wanting to be left alone. Xander and Giles were trying to do the macho, stoic thing and put on brave fronts, but their pain was obvious too. And Anya, well, Buffy guessed that she felt almost as miserable as she did herself. And Spike, who in the hell knew where he was.
"Hello?" came the startled voice on the other end of the phone line. "Buffy?"
The slayer sat up in bed and clicked on the light, "Dr. Daniels?"
"Yes, is everything all right?"
Buffy slumped back against her pillows, "No, everything is awful."
"How is Willow?" the doctor asked concerned.
"Not good," came the sullen reply, "She won't take any of those pills you gave me for her, I have to fight her to eat anything, she keeps sneaking off on her own, and that damn journal you have her writing in is depressing enough to make an angel want to kill themselves."
"Have you tried slipping the meds into her foods?"
"Well you see," Buffy came back sarcastically, "Willow hates it here, she can't stand to be in or near this house. And since she doesn't live here and refuses to come here, it's kind of hard to make her sit down to dinner. Dinner, which she won't eat anyway so putting the pills in her food seemed kind of redundant, you know what I mean?"
"Buffy," the psychologist said soothingly, "I need you to calm down and talk to me, okay."
The slayer sighed, feeling defeated, "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, I understand. Now, Willow's journal, have you spotted any of the warning signs I told you to look for? Anything about death, dying, or being together soon?"
"No, Willow's still large with the nothingness. But she knows we read the thing, I doubt she'd be stupid enough to write anything she was planning in there. But from the way she's been acting I think she–"
Buffy's other line clicked in, "Doctor can you hold on, that's my other line."
"Sure."
"Thanks," Buffy clicked over, "Hello?"
"We have a problem." Came an accented voice.
"Giles? What's wrong?"
"I think Willow may be planning to use magic again. Very powerful, very dangerous magic."
"But I thought you said that she won't be able to do magic anymore?"
"I said it was a possibility. She will suffer repercussions from her magic use, and if she still has her powers, then chances are the repercussions will be greater then I anticipated."
Buffy sighed, "I so don't even want to hear about that right now. Willow is our main concern, we have to find her. I'm on my way to Tara's dorm, if you don't hear from me in 20 minutes get to the cemetery. We'll deal with the rest later." Ordered the slayer and she hung up the phone, no time for Giles' goodbye or to finish her conversation with the doctor.
Willow had taken great care to gather the ingredients and supplies necessary for the spell. She had laid out everything exactly as the book told her, the moon and planets were in the proper alignment, and the redhead even had a sacrificial bundle to add to the spell. The bundle wasn't a necessary ingredient, but it did look good to the goddess.
The redhead hoped and prayed that she would still be able to cast spells, and perform magic. She hadn't tried yet, afraid that she'd find out she couldn't.
Willow mediated for half an hour and when she felt ready, she stepped up to Tara's grave and approached the gravestone. Willow ran her hands over the cold marble and leaned down and rested her forehead against the top of it, "Hey Baby, I don't know if this is going to work or not … but please don't be mad … I have to do this. I can't be here without you. I can't, and I don't want to. I have to bring you back. I need you, we all need you."
Willow turned and sat down next to the headstone and leaned against it, "Things will be hard, I know that. It was hard for Buffy but she got better. And I know it will be hard for you, but I'll help you, we all will. And it will be easier for you then it was for Buffy. Buffy, she, she didn't have someone who loves her as much as I love you to help her back. We're soulmates. I saw our dream Tara, our future. We can be together again and we can have that, we can. I tried to bring you back before, but I didn't know then. I studied everything, and I know now. I know and we can be together again."
The redhead moved to her knees and faced the tombstone and placed her hands on the top as she spoke, "We have a future, baby. We're have one and we can be together and that's why I have to do this. Please don't be mad."
Willow leaned forward and kissed the marble stone, "I love you."
The witch stood and turned around and moved back to the foot of the grave. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to start the spell.
"Don't do it, Red."
Willow spun around at the sound and came face to face with the owner of the voice. Her eyes narrowed and she turned back around to start the spell, "Go away Spike, this is none of your business."
The former vampire stepped around the redhead and leaned against the shovel he had in his hand, "Sorry love, but since I know that this spell can't work without the resurrectee, then I would say that this is my business."
Willow's eyes turned coal black and narrowed so tightly that they were nothing more then slits. Her hands shot out from her sides and glowed with the power that cursed through them, burning to be released.
"Where is she?" snarled the witch.
"Um," Spike straightened and stepped back. Hearing of Willow's powers and seeing them face to face were two different things. "Look-"
"Where is she?""She's safe," Spike answered immediately, "But she won't be if you follow through with this."
The glow around Willow's hands dissipated and she lowered her arms, "Explain."
The former vampire pulled the cigarette down from behind his ear and lit it, "What do you know about soul possession?"
Willow opened her mouth to speak but stopped and looked at the man again, "You have your soul back. You're not even a vampire any more."
Spike took a hit of his cigarette, "Always ahead of the class, eh Red?"
"Tell me about Tara." Willow turned the conversation back to the fallen blonde, she could care less about Spike, with or without a soul.
Spike used his cigarette to point to the book on the ground, "She'll come back wrong if you try that. Hell, she'll come back wrong no matter what you do."
"Why?" Willow growled.
"Because Red, you've got too much darkness in you."
Willow turned away, "You don't know that."
Spike matched her step and moved closer to her, "I do know that. I also know of a way to get your bird back."
The witch stopped and turned to face the platinum haired man and nodded for him to continue.
"We can both get what we want if you can pull off a little spell."
"A soul possession spell?"
Spike smiled and took another drag.
"And what's in it for you?"
Spike stepped forward and threw his arm around the thin redheads shoulder. He flicked his butt away and pointed towards a large van parked just down the road, "Step into my office."
Giles caught up with Buffy as she was about to enter the cemetery, "I gather your being here means that Willow wasn't at the dorm."
"
She wasn't. I found a ton of books on resurrection though."
"So she is going to try and raise Tara."
Buffy picked up the pace towards Tara's grave, "I can't believe she did this. She knows better."
"Grief," said a nearly winded Giles, "Can make you irrational."
"I almost wish that she would raise her, then Tara could kick her ass for doing this."
"What's that?" Giles asked as he pointed across the cemetery. "There's Willow. Is that…"
"Spike." Supplied the stunned slayer.
"Damn" cursed Giles as he watched Spike slide into the drivers seat and peel out of the cemetery. "What is that bloody vamp up too now?"
Buffy looked after the vehicle she knew she wouldn't be able to catch, "And what does it have to do with Willow?"
TBC…