(New Fic) Poison The Well

[Blue Channel]

Title: Poison The Well

Disclaimer: Not mine...

Feedback: Yes please

Summary: Tara decides to leave her abusive father and gets help from (guess who) Willow.

Rating: 'R' For violence and language

Author's Note(s): It's AU, and very dark...lotsa angst...grab a helmet, but it'll get better, I promise...would I lie?





Hurt. Everything just hurt. Breathing hurt. And moving; even just the slightest bit…that hurt too. He always went for her ribs. Why? Simple...because then no one would know. If he went for her face there would be whispers, and suspicion and ultimately investigation. Lying here, she thought, she must have look a lot like her mother had, she was in the very same position, in the very same condition. This corner; the one she was lying in right know, it had been her mothers. And she had passed it down to her, she tried to take the burden for as long as long as she could; but when there was no will to live sooner or later you stopped living; and her mother had no will to live…so she stopped.



More tears, more blood. Everywhere. Her blood. *Her* blood was splattered all over the floor, mixing with *her* tears. *Hers* it was *hers* and he had taken it. And now it was staining the floor, and her clothes, it was something that had been a part of her and he had reached in and taken it. And he would keep on taking it too, like he did with mom and sooner or later…sooner or later there would be nothing left to take. More tears…hers. ‘Leave.’ “No…” She whispered. ‘Leave’ “No.” This was not the first time she’d battled this thought, no, desire…this desire. She’d never been farther then the grocery store…there was no where to go. ‘Leave’ “No.” She was not strong enough to go, she knew.



‘Leave.’ No- ‘Leave’ I- ‘Leave’ “How?” She whispered ‘Leave.’ It wasn’t that simple…it couldn’t be. You don’t just live this nightmare for seventeen years, then one day up and leave it. It’s not that simple, it’s…it’s just not. ‘Leave.’ He’d been gone for roughly 15 minutes, usually he was gone for an hour. There wasn’t enough time there was too much to do…think about before she could just leave. ‘Get up. Change your clothes. *Leave.*’ She was doing it before she’d had a chance to think about it, she hardly remembered getting up or showering, or changing…this was too surreal, was she really leaving? Did she really think she could, if he found her...if he ever found her he’d- ‘Leave.’ The door, she was in front of the door, and she could feel it; under her palm, it was solid…this was real, this was happening. No money, no transportation, no friends, no help, too many reasons not to do this. Too late…the door was already open.

...Have a day...

[wiccapalooza]

Blue Channel...



I woke up to this fic today...it cut me deep. It broke my heart. It made me cry. It hurt my mind. It cried out to me because it's something that's true and real, and you portrayed this feeling of abuse and escape, so fricking well. The inner wrestle with the simple word and notion of 'leave'... I've lived this and never seen anyone write this with complete clarity.



Thank you, thank you for writing this, and I will most definitely be reading the rest, if and when it comes.



Spectacular...



~Melyssa xox

[Tempest Duer]

Wow... this is a powerful piece of work, Blue Channel. It left the lacerations on my emotions that very few pieces of work manage to do.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[sam darls]

Oh my..this was simply amazing, I really loved it..it was so full of emotion. Love sammi xx

[WTfan4ever]

Hey there.

Thisis such a great start, so full of emotion.

Tara's confusion and pain were so well written, really tore at my heart.

definitely looking forward to more.

please update soon.

-kelz

[StrangeQuark]

You've captured it. The feeling of isolation, the conflict about doing what's necessary to stop it, the pain. It's a beautiful portrayal of the ugliest of topics. Abuse stories are always a tough read for me, but the stuff that you have here is so powerful, and your word choices are so delicate and skillful, that I was drawn right in from the first sentence. I forgot that I was reading a story, and just started to bathe in the emotion of the work.



Very good. Very very good.

[willowsgirl]

Hey there blue channel!

Well what can I say? You must've been really busy lately with 2 fics on the go, for starters- so thanks. This fic looks set to be truly amazing, I agree with the rest of the feedback- you really have captured the situation perfectly.

Update soon?

willowsgirl xx

[WintersDreamer]

Your fic was very well written. The descriptions of the pain, the mind wandering, searching for someway, something to make it stop were exact.





Please update soon

[Blue Channel]

wiccapalooza: Thank you...thank you so much, I really hope the fic turns out good, I usually don't finish the things I start but this time I really, really want to. And I hope you keep on enjoying it.



Tempest Duer: Wow...I'm not even sure what lacerations are...but I hope it's something good...thanks!



sam darls: Wow, thanks a lot and I hope you keep on enjoying it!



WTfan4ever: Thanks, I'm glad it tore at your heart...well um, not that I want to tear your heart...but uh, it's good in an author sorta way.



StrangeQuark: Thank you very, very much. I tried to write this as best as I could, and I was sort of scared I was going about it all wrong, but your feedback was a real confidence booster, thanks!



willowsgirl: Thanks, and I am updating soon...just scroll down a little...lol...



WintersDreamer: Thanks, I was kinda iffy about it but your feedback really helped...I hope you like the update!



Well, here it is...



She ran. She ran until her chest felt like it was burning and her bruised sides felt like someone was twisting knives into them. She ran until she collapsed; gasping for air, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She took in her surroundings and though her vision was blurry, she could see that she was lying next to a road. ‘A…a road’; that meant there was distance, distance between her and…and that place she would never call home, and that man she could never call a father. A fluttering started to build in her chest, and the pressure in her shoulders slowly started to lift, ‘so this is hope…so this is freedom.’



The feeling was of course short-lived. This shouldn’t have been a surprise (though it was) because this was her reality, and in her reality if you knew anything at all you knew that happiness; in any form, was fleeting. As she was taking in her surroundings she spotted his car. *His* car. It was over. Did she really think she had escaped? Yes…she had, for that one instant. But he’d always find her, it was hopeless from the start…you don’t just walk away, she should’ve known that. Her heart was hammering; it seemed as if it were trying to break out of her bruised rib cage, she’d been so sure she had no more tears left…but she was proven wrong, this was what she lived with…what she was born into.



The car stopped about four feet from her. She reverted to the position she knew so well; it was instinct, it didn’t make the punches any less painful or the words any less hurtful, no matter how many times a day she heard them. And of course she believed every bad thing he’d said about her, she had no reason not to, no one had ever given her one. She heard a click as the car door opened. She didn’t dare to move…she didn’t even breathe, as she waited for the first blow to come…except it didn’t. “Hey” A hand on her shoulder…gentle, he couldn’t be gentle, she *knew* he couldn’t, anyone who was capable of doing those…those things to his own daughter was incapable of gentleness. “Are…are you okay?” She looked up…green eyes, deep green eyes were looking back at her, concerned.



Or at least she thought it was concern, she wasn’t used to seeing it. She nodded and got up, it hurt, but she did it anyway. “Do you uh, need a ride?” She looked at the hand still on her shoulder…still gentle, and at the big green eyes still looking back at her…still concerned. “Yes” she said…or more whispered she hated how broken her voice sounded…how weak, how absolutely insane she must have looked lying on the ground hugging her knees to her chest, not even moving. But… but the hand was still gentle and, the eyes still concerned.

...Have a day...

[allykat]

WOW, this is amazing!!

Can't wait to see what happens next!

[StrangeQuark]

Damn, that's good.



More soon, please.

[willowsgirl]

When I read this fic my brain seems to go into melt mode, like it would with...another type of fic.

I think thats a good thing, it just means that in only 2 paragraphs your words affect me so much.

It really is brilliant, I cant wait to see how those 'big green eyes' (mentioning no names here!) help Tara out.



willowsgirl/stacey xx

[sam darls]

This was an amazing update..you definitely have a way with words. i love it. Love sammmi xx

[WintersDreamer]

Elation, fear, despair and bewilderment and green eyes all with in 3 or 4 chapters, very nice.

Thinking about the title has me worried about Tara's and Willows future relationship.



Please update soon,

[Blue Channel]

allykat: Thanks, glad you like



StrangeQuark: Thanks...wow compliments...I could get used to that



willowsgirl: lol...thanks, I'm glad I make your brain all melty and I don't even have to write...other type of stuff.



sam darls: Thanks, happy you're enjoying it.



WintersDreamer: Thanks, and don't worry about that title, I really just didn't know what to call it, so I named it after one of my favorite bands...it's a thing I do.





Here's the update...hope you like it...







Willow looked at the girl seated beside her; she looked so scared, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her, she’d never felt so helpless. She could barely stand the lost look in the girls eyes…she remembered being lost, remembered losing herself and in turn losing everyone that had ever meant anything. Guilt. There it was again, her old familiar friend. She didn’t feel it as much anymore, but for no other reason than that she’d become accustomed to it. But this train of thought would only lead her to a painful crash, so she stopped it. She turned to look at the girl again, finding her gaze constantly gravitating towards her. It looked like she’d fallen asleep. She looked so angelic, but she noticed that even in sleep the girl still wore the saddest face.





She wanted…she wanted so much just to know what it was, so that she could do anything in her power to make it all go away. HONK! “Watch the road ya jackass!” …But maybe this wasn’t the best time for quiet reflections. She heard tiny whimpers coming from her left; she turned back to the girl to see that she’d been crying in her sleep. “No, no please don’t cry…” The image tore at her heart; it hurt worse than a physical blow ever could. ‘I can’t stand this’ she tapped the girl on the shoulder as lightly as she could; not wanting to startle her. Big, startled blue eyes looked back at her, as the girl woke up.





“Are…are you alright?” It took Tara a few seconds to recognize her surroundings, she’d been surprised (pleasantly so) to see kind green eyes staring back at her in place of cold gray ones, “Y-yes.” For a few seconds there was a silence; not really awkward, it was just that neither girl knew what the right thing to say was. “Willow.” “E-excuse me?” “Um, well I sorta just realized that you don’t know my name, and I don’t know yours and I uh, just thought we should…know each others names that is, so Willow…is my name.” “I-it’s very, um pretty.” “Thanks, so do you have a name well of course you have a name, but uh…you have a name right?” ‘Do I tell her…do I trust her, if I do I could get caught...but she seems so...do I trust her?'

...Have a day...

[allykat]

This is great!

I love it that they are both broken,needing to heal. Now they can heal together and each other.. .

Can't wait for the next update!!

[sam darls]

I loved this part. So full of emotion. You write it really well Love sammi xx

[Aine]

wow

[Blue Channel]

allykat: Thanks, and yeah I thought it'd be better if they both had something they were running from so they could heal each others wounds and help each other move on.



sam darls: Thanks...aww...you made me blush.



Aine: Wow, a thud *and* a bow...I feel so darned special.



Sorry there's no update on this one, but I'll be updating tommorow!

...Have a day...

[StrangeQuark]

This is so delicate and tenuous. Everything is safe and stable, but there's a lot of unease and apprehension below and above the surface. This subtle contrast gives a lot of drama to the story, and a lot of human-interest (not just W/T interest.)



Don't get me wrong, W/T interest is an important factor to any fanifc, but a story like this could easily survive without our favorite witches as the main players.



Very compelling. Keep up the good work.



-SQ

[Blue Channel]

StrangeQuark: Wow...I think your feedback's better than my story, but seriously, thank you so much for reading and I really, really hope you keep on enjoying it.





Heeeeeere's the update!





Tara was about to speak; though she wasn’t quite sure what she would say, when Willow interrupted, “Hey, It’s ok…I get it you know, when you’re in a…a certain place…it’s just hard to trust people; even with the smallest detail, unless they earn it first.” “Y-you’re not, you’re n-not angry?” Wide blue eyes stared at Willow, a little disbelieving that anyone could actually understand; or even care enough to try to. “Of course not” green eyes…so reassuring.



“So, what nickname ya want?” “N-nickname?” “Well I can just not call you anything, but then it’d be pretty hard to get your attention” What a cute…Willow-Smile… she had, Tara thought. “Oh, w-well um why don’t you pick one” A smile…she actually felt a smile on her face…it’d been so long, it felt alien to her but not out of place…just new. “Hmm, let me see how ‘bout…blue eyes or angel face or wow-you-have-a-really-cute-smile-girl?”



Laughter. That was new too, she could feel herself blushing at Willows’ words, after not feeling anything other than fear and sadness and anger at her own situation for so long these feelings were just so…indescribable, there really was no definition. “Or…pink face.” More laughter. “M-my face isn’t pink.” “Well yeah, it’s slightly reddish now.” Even more laughter. Where had she been just two hours before, it made her shiver. But no, she wasn’t going to ruin the first happy moment she’d had since her mother died…thirteen years ago, the last time she could remember being anything other than miserable was when she was four. It was hard not to show her sadness, but she did it anyway.



“I’m hungry; ya wanna go get somethin’ to eat Pinky?” She looked down at her stomach and was reminded that she hadn’t eaten since that morning; before the fists came…it was her fault of course, his eggs were cold…she should’ve known better than to let his eggs get cold. “N-no thank you…I’m n-not very um hungry right now.” She was also reminded of her tight budget…tight meaning zero. “You’re sure?” Concern again. “Y-yes.” “My treat.” “I-I don’t w-want you to spend you’re m-money.” “Don’t worry, I make enough of it…oh come on Pinky, please.” “Ok…thank you” it was so hard to say ‘no’ to her… and of course her stomach was no help.

...Have a day...

[StrangeQuark]

The good stuff just keeps on coming

I enjoy watching this story unfold. There's a lot going on inside of it.

Thanks for another engaging update.

[Aine]

well...you should definitely feel special...and i believe another two thuds and many many bows are in order... wonderful fic! i love the emotion that you portray between the two girls...lovely writing!!



Aine

[sam darls]

That was so amazing. Thank you for writing it.. Love sammi xx

[Grimlock72]

Awww... that was so cute, Willow giving Tara the nickname 'pinky' . I do wonder what problems Willow has had to know how to approach Tara like that. Seems Willow got out of her problems before Tara did though.



Tara has to eat of course. I sure hope she soon stop thinking things were 'her fault'. I know such thinking is caused by persistent abuse (more like the abuser rationalising his behaviour) but it's still cringe-worthy to read anybody thinking they 'deserve' (yet another icky word in this context) punishment like that. Bit long line that, hope you get the general idea :-)



I hope Tara doesn't get to scared or not-wanting-to-impose to run away from Willow and such. She'll have to sleep somewhere, sometime... and sleeping close to Willow would be safest I think :-) Besides she'll need some care for her injuries and time/energy to heal. Poor girl



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[allykat]

"Pinky" Hope Tara tells Willow her name soon! It's so sad that Tara hasn't been happy in 13 years... I'm sure Willow's going to change that.

Very cool update!

[Grimlock72]

Heh, if Tara's nickname is 'pinky'... it's fairly easy to guess Willow's Think animaniacs.



And yeah they can 'take over the world' for all I care .



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Blue Channel]

StrangeQuark: No, thank *you*



Aine: Aww, you're spoiling me...I don't deserve that many good compliments...definetly not complaining though



sam darls: Thanks!



Grimlock72: It's Pinky, it's Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...uhh sorry...anyways don't worry we'll find out Willow's past problems soon-ish. And I hope they *do* take over the world it'll be *way* nicer!



allykat: Ya...13 years is *way* too long, but Willow + Tara always = happy so...yay!





He didn’t care. ‘Course he didn’t, it was good riddance in his book. He took a shot of Vodka. Except…except he did, not really at the fact that the ungrateful little bitch was gone; heck he was glad to be rid of her. Just that…how long had the whore been planning this anyway? How long had she been in *his* house plotting against *him?* Looking him in the face actin’ like the innocent little victim when she was plannin’ on screwin’ him over all along. That little snake…just like her mother. Another shot.



She’s probably laughin’ right now; laughin’ at him like he was some kinda clown or somethin’. Laughin’ ‘cause she thought she was better than him? Thought this made her better than him, she’s just a good actress is all…heck all whores are, it didn't make her special or nothin'. She wouldn't even be nothin' if it weren't for him. Another shot.



She’d fooled him though… the little bitch had fooled him al right. After he’d taken care of her? This was his thanks? What…she thought she could do better than him? She’d fooled him…all this time. He could hear her laughing…the bitch was laughing her head off right now...he knew; he could hear. Another shot.



It was just too sudden; there wasn’t no warning or nothin’, she was just there then she was gone. So of course there had to have been some sorta plan. Right behind his back; she’d done this all right behind his back. Weeks, months…? How long had he been in the dark about this…in his own home…the bottle of Vodka made a loud crash as it hit the floor, and he was once again glad the neighbors lived about a mile away. If he had half a brain he’d go find that little whore and give her what was coming to her. In fact… He was up without a second thought, slamming the door and headed for his car. ‘No more analyzin’ no more thinkin’ just find the bitch and give her what’s comin’… foot on the pedal, eyes on the road, hands at the wheel…10 and 2’

[sam darls]

Loved this part..so good.. Love sammi xx

[Blue Channel]

sam darls: Thanks a lot, glad you liked!



Next update um...sometime soon...