Hi Hope,
Wow, it takes a lot of courage to sing without accompaniment, I admire you for it.
Creative, I like your rhyme scheme - contemporary and complex. On singing advice, I liked the upward lilt on love (happened around 2:10 - 2:15 of the song - shows a different expression).
From a singing viewpoint, my suggestion is to work on breath control. Basically practicing breathing deeply, fully inflating your diaphragm the same way you fill a glass - bottom to top all the way up the holding a steady note. As you strengthen your muscles you have more timing choices on when you breathe and you can take a catch breath or maybe even master circular breathing (don't look at me - never made it myself!
) I'm not remotely perfect at all this stuff, but I work on it and have improved some. I made a little extra money performing onstage and sang a song where we actually had to do some simple dance steps while singing. Breath control saved my butt then! Just sayin!
I like your voice, nice quality.
Take care,
Ariel
How I Met Your Mother