hey! this is my first time posting anything i've wrote but hopefully people will like this
all these characters are mine (the names are based on some teachers at school)
i'll try to update as soon as possible but it might not be very fast because i'm using this as my english coursework so i'm going to edit it so it's abit longer and flows easier.
please leave feedback especially if you can tell me how to improve it Cheers!!
******FINAL EDITED VERSION (of part 1)******
'The Red Hat'- Part 1
“On Thursday 13th December, the murderer known as ‘The Red Hat’ struck again. This time it was a 29 year old named Jack Wells, he was found hanging from the ceiling, wrapped around his neck were computer wires,” explained Detective Inspector Charlie Tango.
The tall, slim woman seemed to have aged beyond her 30 years. Her thick brown hair was pulled up into a messy bun and deep brown eyes showed her exhaustion.
She paced back and forth in front of a group of 15 police officers, who were listening to her with rapt attention. A picture of Jack Wells was added to a board set up with all of the previous victims pictures.
Bits of paper were pinned all around the pictures with crossings out that showed just how hard they had been working looking for a link between all of the victims. Pointing to the picture of Jack, Charlie started going through some of the information already found.
“Jack is the 4th victim in as many weeks. We know that they all went to school together and that they all knew each other,” picking up a school year book that had seen better days, opened up to a page with all 4 victims on she continued, “All of them were in the same circle of friends in high school.”
Walking towards a table set up in the front of the room, she picked up a plastic bag. On them was a disfigured shape of a hat, drawn using the victims own blood.
The red liquid seemed to be dripping down the wall, giving it a sinister feel. All 4 of the victims has this painted on the wall nearest the entry way. It was obvious that the killer wanted the police to see it.
This was ‘The Red Hat’s’ calling card. This was the reason the police had named the killer ‘The Red Hat’. A stern looking man, in his early fifties came marching in to the room.
His greying hair and beard gave him a distinguished look. Ice blue eyes locked onto Charlie. Stepping forward he handed her a cream coloured folder.
“Is this the results of the blood?” Charlie asked Detective Walker. “The boys down at forensics just finished analysing it. Hopefully it’ll help close this case.” Opening the folder Charlie’s eyes widened.
******************************
It was dark and damp where he stood. ‘The Red Hat’ was displeased with him for the mistake he made. He spilled a drop of blood from a cut on his finger onto the body of Jack Wells.
Shaking all over, the green eyed man shuffled towards the door. Nobody displeased ‘The Red Hat’ and lived. A shadow, almost feminine in shape, stood in the corner of the bleak, bare room.
“You’ve disappointed me. I thought I could count on you not to mess up,” came a smooth almost predatory voice. “Guess I was wrong. Oh well! I’ll just have to clean up the mess you made.”
Turning in the direction of the voice, the blonde man tried moving his feet. He couldn’t. Heart pounding he stood frozen to the spot, as a strange humming sound started.
It sounded mechanical, like heavy machinery was headed towards him. As it got louder and louder he felt himself moving, even though his feet was stuck to what he thought was the floor.
He glided towards the sound, struggling in vain to escape what the young man knew was his death. The machine was upon him now. Claw like blades attacked his skin, blooding oozing from the open wounds.
Crying out in shock and pain he thrashed about helplessly as chilling laughter filled the room. The blades dug deeper into his skin, tearing away at the flesh.
Grinding against the bone and shattering them into pieces. Blood was gushing now, creating a dark inky river on the cement floor. The pain was too much; with a final thrash he screamed a blood chilling scream and fell into the claws of the mechanical beast.
Still dripping with blood and bits of still warm flesh, the machine gradually slowed down to a stop.
“Such a shame. Wasting a perfectly eager employee all because of a silly mistake,” the shadow made its way to the door; it looked almost like it had a spring in its step.
*****************************
“Oh, god! Are you sure this is the right person?” asked Charlie. Glancing down again at the picture on the folder, she sighed. Making her way over to the suspect board, she pinned a picture under the name ‘Mr Widehead’.
The picture contained a young, blonde man with green eyes around 28 years old. A gaunt, scruffy face stared out of the picture.
“Forensics have just got back to us with the results of the blood found on Jack’s body. We have one of our killers. His name is John Widehead and he went to school with all of the victims,” explained Detective Walker, as Charlie seemed to be in a state of shock.
Shaking her head, she turned to Walker, “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Nodding his head he followed her out of the door. “Alright! Now get on with your work!” barked Charlie just before she closed the door after herself.
Walking down the maze like corridors, they ended up at an interview room. The grey dull walls made most people think of a prison cell and the stiff, uncomfortable chairs seemed to suck even more life out of the already lifeless room.
Sitting down on a chair Charlie opened her mouth to speak, but as she tried no words would come out. Taking a deep breath she tried again “Why is this happening? I mean...I knew every single person on that board. I went to school with them. I saw them every day for 5 years!” exclaimed Charlie, with tears threatening to escape.
Visibly pulling herself together and reigning in her emotions she looked at Walker, begging him with her eyes to tell her the answer. Kneeling down in front of her, Walker wrapped his arms around her in silent comfort.
After about 5 minutes of this Walker spoke in a calm almost soothing voice, “Charlie you’re like a daughter to me. I hate seeing you like this, you’ve got to try and keep everything professional.”
Head buried in his shoulder Charlie replied “I know I do! But saying it and actually doing to two totally different things.” Sighing Charlie continued, “I used to be friends with 2 of the victims. I don’t want anybody else knowing this. I didn’t even mean to tell you all of this at first.”
Rolling his eyes, Walker stood up and offered Charlie a hand up, “I know, I know. We’ve been through this three times already. I promise you I won’t tell a soul.”
Opening the door, they both made their way to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. Sitting down, Charlie told walker what she wanted and waited as he queued up with a tray carrying two coffees and a sandwich.
After paying for the food and drinks Walker sat down opposite Charlie, passed her a coffee and tore into his chicken mayo sandwich like a ravenous beast. Throwing a disgusted glance in his direction, Charlie gently sipped her drink, careful not to burn her tongue and lips on the freshly boiled liquid.
Wiping the crumbs from around his mouth Walker opened his mouth to speak, “So, have any ideas about why all these killings are happening?” Shaking her head Charlie took another sip of her coffee, her brow creased with concentration as she started reviewing in her head, every scrap of information and every dead end they had.
Waving his hand in front of her face, Walker looked at her with a concerned expression on his handsome but aged face. Snapped out of her trance Charlie answered his unasked question, “What? Oh erm sorry,” pointing to her head, “just a bit crowded in here, that’s all.”
i've just edited some spelling and added a couple of things in. so please review and tell me what you think