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 Post subject: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:24 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
Okay, I have like, a BUNCH of poetry built up over the last few years, most of which I've never shown anyone, and just thought I'd post some of it, in hopes that someone would tell me it didn't suck :blush ...

anywho, i'll start with the oldest one I can find, which I wrote a little over two years ago, when i was thirteen and very depressed and rather egocentric, but oh-well, here goes nothin'...

YOU DON'T SEE:
You don’t see the shadows,
but I live in them;
You don’t see the spirits,
but I they’re my closest friends;
You don’t see me,
but me is my only companion


alright, hope that wasn't so painfully bad that i no longer have any readers, 'cause here's another that's probably a year and a half old, once again when i was depressed, so bear with me...

Nothing Is

Nothing is right
Nothing is wrong
Yet everything is

Everything exists
Yet nothing is real

Nothing is true
Nothing is false
Yet everything is

i kinda enjoy that one, but think its a bit over-wraught, as most of my older stuff is, but this next one's i *think* a little better, and a little more recent...

BLACK as NIGHT:

Black as night,
Cold as snow.
Never light,
Never glow.
Round and round the circle goes,
Where it will stop, no one knows.
Black as night,
Cold as snow.
Where it stops, no one knows.
Round and round the circle goes,
Black as night,
Cold as snow.

I believe that is the end of my string of overly dramatic poems, and so seems like a good place to end the post; i hope someone has enjoyed it!
:pray

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:59 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Great poetry,thanks for sharing.


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 5:45 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:22 pm
Posts: 592
Location: England
nice poetry. i lked the last one the most :) the 'Black as Night' poem.
Thankx for sharing.

Jess xxx

_________________
'You're my angel of salvation, and hope, and strength...your my multi-angel'-Jay (My baby)
"Denial, Party of one, You're table's ready"-Spud
]|My Anime Site|[


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:44 am 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
I'm glad you both liked my poems, [b]Black As Night[/b] is my fave, to

well, here's two more, both from about a year ago
enjoy!

This one doesn't have a name and was actually written for an English project I did on music, but i rather like it, so what the hell


I slam the door,
walk to the stereo,
and turn on my music

As the sounds of waves surround me,
I feel the serenity pulsing through me,
my pain and anger melting away,
as the music pushes through my soul

I’m calm now,
the peace flows through me,
and my anger is nothing but a dream and memory,
a million miles away

As the song ends,
my pain begins anew.
I stomp back to the stereo
and press the ‘back’ button.
The song instantly returns, my serenity with it.



I wrote this poem when a young friend of my family's was staying with us, called something 'gay' in the derogatory way commonly used (which is ironic since it turns out she's bi), and then appolgized to me for doing so, which freaked me out, because i'd hardly told anyone yet that I was gay, and so the idea of her knowing freaked me out...

Secret:
Why does she say this?
-does she know?
It’s not that I’m ashamed--
I’m proud of who I am.
It’s just that,
with these people I’ve known all my life,
It’s hard to simply say,
“I’m gay.”


~jas

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 1:21 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Like both those poems,great writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:29 am 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
thanks for reading SJ, i'm very glad you enjoyed my writing :blush

I have another couple poems to post today, one written in March or April, the other dated April 4th, so they are the most recent so far (which makes since, as I'm going from oldest to newest, but whatev).

This poem is published in a book, and everyone who i've read it to has told me that they liked it, so I hope that means it's good...


Changes:

I feel myself changing,
I'm not who I once was.
I've reached deeper,
become truer.
I am back to who I once was
before I was what I used to be.
I have come back to me.


okay, now this next one is a little overly sappy, but i wrote it when i had crushes on several girls, one of whom was my straight best friend and the rest of whom had no idea i was alive, --which, okay, descrides, like, my entire life since my coming-out, but still-- and wanted a girlfriend more than anything...


Untitled:
A single light;
A spark of hope;
A wish in a desolate land.

To meet you,
To know you,
To love you and be loved by you.

One light;
One hope;
One wish;
One dream.

Only to find you.

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:09 am 
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11. Fish in the Bowl
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:43 pm
Posts: 1333
Location: United States
I like your poetry. I think the first few were a bit wordy for me, but as you progress you've discovered that less is more. thanks for sharing.

_________________
Urn of Osiris
"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow." C. Brower


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:18 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
I liked both those poems,great writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:52 pm 
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9. Gay Now

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:27 pm
Posts: 956
Location: New Orleans (for the moment)
Sometimes sappy is good. Great poems.

Yvonne


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:01 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:22 pm
Posts: 592
Location: England
great poems....going back an update...the first poem about music for your English class. I like it :) its my fav from all of them. I feel the same way about music when I get angry and try to calm down. Also reminds me of a poem a wrote about it :lol great minds think alike i guess.

anyway, the other poems were good too. all three were short 'n' sweet. Secret reminded me of a friend, Changes gave me the feeling of when someone's been one thing for so long and they start going back to who they should be. Reminds me of times when I would do something and I would go 'i haven't done this for years/since I was little' and enjoying it :)
The last one was cute, i liked it. Sappy is good...i'm always sappy :lol

Jess xxx

_________________
'You're my angel of salvation, and hope, and strength...your my multi-angel'-Jay (My baby)
"Denial, Party of one, You're table's ready"-Spud
]|My Anime Site|[


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:40 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
I wrote this poem tonight in a rather depressed mood. I think it's far too "emo", but a friend thought it was good, so I decided to post.

If I could, I would take away your pain.
Not give you a fresh start, cause that's not what you want
But simply make it easier for you.
I don't want you to hurt, ever.
I know people say
"No pain, no gain"
And while this may be true,
What if it's not worth it?

Why do things have to be so hard?
Why can't good people get what they deserve?
You loved her.
Still love her.
If I weren't selfish, maybe I'd wish you back to where you were.
That she hadn't left you, or wanted you back.
But I can't wish this, because I want you,
And I think, how can she be worthy
Of a woman like you, if she doesn't know how lucky she is,
If she could give you up?
Could she really love you when she let you go?

I would wash away the tears,
Sew up your heart,
Mend all your wounds.
I want to make things right for you.
But I can't. I want
To be enough for you. To be enough
To right your world.
She was the best thing in your life,
but now what she brings is pain.
I want good for you.
I want to be that good.
Instead, all I can do is hope
That time really does heal all wounds.

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:21 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Great poem!


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:58 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
Wrote a couple poems tonight. They still need editing and don't have titles yet, but here they are.


I want it to be real.
Want to make it real.
And I know it’s not my choice.
I am here to stay,
But she could still go away.
I will give my all,
But I still fear the fall.
So much to loose,
So much to win.
How do I choose?
I fear so much
And want even more.
I want to be her world,
Her life,
Her love.
I want to be enough.
But I don’t know how to heal a soul,
And all the medicine in the world
Can’t mend her broken heart.
I don’t know how to make things right,
Or be the one she’ll want.
She is already my life,
My love,
My world,
My heart.
But there is so much of her
I can never touch,
Never know,
Never heal.
I wish I could even just make her feel
But so much is locked deep inside
That dark and beautiful mind.
I fear I’ll never know what lies within.


This one's very short, and not very good.

I wait for the day I will meet you
I wait for the day I will feel you inside
I wait for the day I can hold you in my arms
I wait for your smile and your laugh
I wait to hear your cry
and count your toes
and simply be your mother.
I wait for your first tooth,
first step,
first words,
and first love.
I wait for you.

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 12:47 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl
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Posts: 1446
Location: Sparta, TN
I think they are both very good but I really like the first one. Especially the line "Dark and beautiful mind". It strikes a chord in me.

writerfreak :flower

_________________
Nuair a feallionn na focail, labhraionn an ceol (translation: When words fail, music speaks)
Ever meet a dangerous woman? One you know sees right through you? Dangerously attractive, effortlessly intelligent, quietly intense?

Soul


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:17 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
I'm glad, especially since it's about you. I think I'm going to type up some of my slam poems...

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:50 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
GNOSIS

When Eve plucked the apple
Was she really giving in?
Or fighting back
Did the Devil really win?
Was it really such a sin?

Zeus punished humans for our independence
Breaking us apart
Tearing up our hearts
Did God do the same?
Was Eve simply no longer tame?

I say grab the apple



A persona piece:
I wanted so much to be loved
Wanted, just once, to feel cared for.
He was older, said I was pretty;
And child that I was, I believed him.
I wanted to believe the caresses meant more,
I let the strokes to my skin
Become strokes to my broken heart.
I let him kiss me, let him love me,
While I just held him.
I imagined he was my father, or brother, or uncle;
Imagined he would never leave me.
I let myself believe it meant more than sex,
Let myself believe if I let him do as he pleased,
He would take me away from the fighting,
And the hitting,
And the home that was no kind of shelter for a 9-year-old girl.
I pretended it was ME he wanted, not the body.
I was wrong.
As he entered into me,
He held me too tight,
And I didn’t like it anymore;
I could no longer pretend
That the pain meant he loved me.
I fought back, and somehow,
SOMEHOW,
I broke free.
I ran away, ran home, hid in my room.
I hid away for the next 6 years,
Hid till I turned 15 and moved away.
Hid from the world.
When I moved away, I hid in a new room.
I covered my body with long dark clothes.
I covered my soul with secrets and barriers,
So no one could hurt me ever again.



Kind of an odd poem. Written February 6th.

I am 18. I wish I were older.
I am 18. I wish I were younger.
I’m ready for college, for life and adulthood.
I want to go back to the time when nightmares
Only came when sleeping.
I want to move forward.
I want to turn back time.
I want to be ready
For kissing and making love and raising children.
I want to return to a life free of responsibility.
I want to see the world
I want to hide away
Be part of it all
Look on from the sidelines
Move forward bravely
Turn away in fear

I want to be ready to be with you.
I am frightened.
Only 18, too young for true love.
Already 18, too old for small crushes
And childish giggling.
I have found you already.
I have found you at last.
I want to be older,
Ready to make it last.
I want to be younger,
Not scared to start fast.

I wish we could be innocent together.



Acid,
Burning my skin
Tears,
Crying from the clouds
Thunder, screaming out pain
Flood,
Washing away my world
Ice,
Forming around my heart
Fog,
Blocking my thoughts
Mist,
Surrounding my world
Shadow,
Blocking me in
Rainbow,
Too long in coming.




I wrote this a few months ago about a girl I am now very much over.

Today she reached out to me,
And I walked away.
My heart broke as I left,
But I knew what she had to offer,
And I knew it wasn’t enough.
I love her, though she has no clue;
I love her, and as her hands stretched
And her eyes pleaded,
I knew I couldn’t be just her friend.
I have to separate myself,
For as much as it hurts to leave
It would have hurt more to stay;
Yet my heart is aching,
Wanting to run back to her.



WAITING

Waiting for you to realize
She’s not just hurting you
Waiting for you to realize
She’s breaking my heart to

Waiting for you to see
Someone out there really loves you
Waiting for you to see
Some dreams will never come true.

Waiting to not know
That I will never be enough.
Waiting for you to realize
Your love is really gone.



These last 3 were all written on September 26th '07

I stare ahead—
Not at the signs,
Or the detours,
Or the other paths.
I don’t look to the sides,
Don’t look behind.
I stare straight ahead—
And miss the exit.



Did you see the looks I gave you?
Did you hear the songs I sang?
Did you read the notes I wrote you?
Did you realize my pain?
Did you hear the voice inside me,
Calling out your name?
But no, you were gone;
Looks given only to a picture,
Songs sung only to a memory,
Notes written but never sent,
For I knew not where to send them,
The voice inside me calling,
But going unanswered.



Your words are absent of the love I feel,
Your actions void of emotion,
Your looks the same as you would give a stranger.
Where went the declarations of intense passion?
Where went the claims you would care for me always?
Where went the days of our holding hands,
Writing ballads,
Singing love songs?
Where went the time that seemed to stretch out endlessly before us?
Maybe I waited too long, and you moved on;
Maybe your love was never real in the first place;
Maybe it’s all an act to hide your pain;
Maybe you’ve forgotten.
Or maybe, just maybe,
Your love was just a dream.

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:37 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Powerful words,great poems!


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:56 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
I'm not very happy with this poem and honestly don't think it's good, but it is the first poem I've written in almost a year so I thought I'd post it. The styles feels pretty different to me and it's way too rhyme-y but oh well...
It has no title.

She said from the start
that she'd break my heart,
but I didn't listen,
and now my tears glisten
with the sorrow and pain
of a life lived in vain.
Now I'm sad and broken
left with only a token
saying farewell.

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:28 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
I like poem,rhymey is good.


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 11:30 am 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
I wrote these poems about 3 months ago and never got around to posting them, partly cause they're not very good. The circumstances behind all of them have changed, but that's part of the point of writing: to capture feelings at a particular point in time. That's not to say the feelings aren't necessarily still true, but the part of my life these poems came out of is over.
The first two are untitled, the last I'm calling Death of a Pet but I'm not sure if it's finished yet. The pet is still alive, so maybe it'll be finished when she's gone.

I want to tell you
all that you make me feel,
all that you mean to me,
how you make me real.
But I can never find the words
for all I need to say;
you mean more to me than love,
friendship, hope, salvation, home
freedom, passion, future, life,
more to me than all of this
and still more every day.
There will never be words
to express what's inside,
so the best I can do
is tell you I love you,
and make you feel it in every way.



If you asked me where my home is,
I'd tell you it's with you.
If you asked me how my heart beats,
I'd say it beats for you.
If you asked me where my future is,
I'd say it's by your side.
If you asked me what I want of life,
I'd say to bring you joy and pride.
If you asked me why I love you,
I could give a million reasons.
If you asked me how long I'll love you,
I'd say till the end of all seasons.
If you asked me why we don't agree,
I'd say to make us think.
If you asked me why we sometimes fight,
I'd say to give us strength.
If you asked me why my heart is yours,
I'd say I was made for thee.
If you asked me why your heart is mine,
I'd say to complete me.


Death of a Pet

Convention says to take care of you
would be to feed you, pet you,
play with you, walk you,
keep you warm, and give you
a soft place to rest your weary head.
And yet I wonder
if there's not more I should do,
or perhaps less.
You loved me, protected me,
sought me out when I was hidden,
lay next to me when I was sad,
told me without a word
that all would be okay.
Perhaps your time has come and gone,
is it right to make you stay?
I see your once-strong spirit fading,
the spark of life now gone,
should I try to keep you with me,
or is it time to let you move on?

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: Jas's attempt's at poetry...
PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 2:52 am 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Great poems.


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