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 Post subject: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 2:46 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
Hey all...thought I'd share my poetry...some of it anyway...let me know what you think...


Own

Is it a joke to you,
The way you play with me?
My mind
My heart
My soul
My emotions.
Just a game, just a joke
An amusement
To pass you through the day?
Looks, fleeting
Words, deeply cutting
Touches, breathtaking
Eyes so deep
Mouth so pure
Hands so gentle
Tear me apart so all is left is complete
Utter
Confusion.
Is it a joke to you,
How easy you sway me to your side?
My mind
My heart
My soul
All of me.
Just a game, just a joke
Entertainment
Giving you power over me.
Kiss, scorching
Lies, hurting
Smile, deceitful
Skin so silken
Hair so soft
Body so weilding
Owning me to the point where I no longer recognise
Who I've
Become.


Fade

Mouth it slowly, silently, hope it’ll be heard;
Not even a head turns your way;
Repeat, again; try a third-
Yet not one even looks up to hear what you've got to say.
Pull your knees further into your chest
Struggle it out some more
Voice croaky from silence, try your best,
Even with a throat that's dry and sore.
Raise your head from your knees
Bring it up high
Force it out; hoping it'll bring release-
Sick of all the old lies.
Frustrated tears-no one seems to care
Take in a deep breath
And scream loud enough to scare-
Yet huddled there, looking like death,
Screaming so loudly
Curled into yourself, trying not to glare,
While people stand around, heads held proudly
You appear to blend with the air.

So you close your mouth tightly
And give up the fight
And allow yourself, ever so politely,
To fade slowly from sight.


Innocence Shattered

Innocence shattered
My heart a constant ache
My body battered
You left this in your wake.

Tears never shown
Have to be strong.
My friendships blown
From hiding things all along.

I wander if you really see
Any of these things
That you hatefully did to me?

But I know you'll never really see
I know you'll turn a blind eye
To the heart break which is me
And to the time you made pass me by.

So I pick up the pieces
One by one
Of shattered innocence
And lost days of fun.


Invisibility

I look at all the different ones,
And wonder which to wear.
There's so many to choose from
And I cant help but stand and stare.

Every day I put one on
Yet no one ever sees
There getting old, there getting worn
Yet still wearing them I be.

A grim smile does cross my lips,
As I reach and pick one out.
With practiced grace I let is slip
Across my sullen pout.

I heave a sigh, I want it off
Yet that can never be,
I straighten out, I'm going soft,
Just wanting to be free.

I walk out the door, another day,
Mindlessly completing tasks.
One day I swear, I'll break away
And remove these goddamned masks.







That's it for now...let me know what you think:)
*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 12:55 pm 
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8. Vixen
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:33 pm
Posts: 876
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Um..i....woah? woah....

WOAH!

*claps insanely and gives you a badge*

Enough said.

*grins*

Stace xXx

ETA: Next fb will be better, im just so fricken tired :laugh MORE NOW!


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:21 pm 
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9. Gay Now

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:27 am
Posts: 956
Location: New Orleans (for the moment)
First off... welcome, welcome! Glad you've decided to post here. Wonderful poems, I hope you continue to post.

Yvonne


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 10:43 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Great poems,thanks for sharing.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 3:40 am 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:44 pm
Posts: 230
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Heya!

I must say I really liked your poetry! Especially the first and second poem. They were intense. The first one, "Own", had a really good rythem.
The parts I loved most:
Quote:
Words, deeply cutting
Touches, breathtaking
Eyes so deep
Mouth so pure


That was a great use with words...
on "Fade" the concept was so true. The despair that may come when you have a lot to say and no one who's willing to listen.

Good job!

_________________
Melissa

Missing me one place search another,
I stop some where waiting for you


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 11:36 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
StaceAngel: wow...thankyou! *pins badge proudly in place* thanks so much for leaving feedback!

Yvonne: Thanks so much for the comments! I was kinda scared to post my poetry, so its great to know you liked them:) thank you!

SJ: Thanks for the feedback!


Truck Driving Mama: hey! thanks so much for the in depth feedback...its great to know you thought I captured the despair that comes with some of these things. Thanks again!



Thanks everyone for reading!
*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 11:42 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
Some more poems...feedback appreciated:)

Take My Hand

Take my hand and hold it
Keep me from floating far away
Cup my cheek so softly
And keep my tears at bay.

Hold me close
Hold me tight
Whisper words quiet...
I can no longer fight.

I feel your hand slip away
Gently, your fingertips brush mine
And oh so slowly I drift up
Alone, defenceless, deadened shine.



Taken


I feel you rip away
Pulled
Pushed
Taken

Your body loses warmth
Your eyes lose their spark
Your hair fades in colour
Your soul becomes so dark.

I feel you tear from me
Grasped
Grabbed
Taken

Hands so rough and worn
Were once so smooth and capeable
Your body so forbidding, hard, hating,
Was once so easily shapeable.

I feel you disapear
Fading
Falling
Taken

I once just had to glance for you
And there for me you'd be
I once just had to call for you
And an answer you found so easy.

I feel your desperation
Shrill
Scared
Taken.

I hear you scream so desperately
Shaken, as you're torn away
Your nails scrape my skin
As you're taken anyway.

I feel you gone
Eternally
Ever
Taken



Bribes

Started with a look
A glance
A catching of eyes.
Continued with a smile
A touch
Fleeting yet there
Existing
Flick of golden hair
Blue eyes burn
And you caught me.
And then,
Oh, God, and then
The kiss.
Lips
Teasing
Deep
Wonderful
It was sealed.
I was yours
In a way I never knew I could be.
But
Are you mine?
Eyes no longer caught
Touches so brief
Confusing me to my core.
Only to come back
When you needed me
And another kiss
Many
Soft
Alluring
You owned my heart.
Yet,
Again,
You seem to drift
Using me
When you needed a toy
Taking my wants
My trust
My needs
My heart
And using it for yourself.
Bribing me
WIth kisses so soft.




Well, that's it for now...thanks!
*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 11:52 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Liked those poems,great writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 12:36 pm 
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8. Vixen
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:33 pm
Posts: 876
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Oh.....my....god..... :bow :bow :bow

You write so honestly, i love emotion written in its simplicity when the things you feel can be described in so many ways because they're actually really complex...and...um....im sorry i have no way to end this amazingly long sentance so ima stophereandstartagain.

Take My Hand was actually really beautiful..

Quote:
I feel your hand slip away
Gently, your fingertips brush mine
And oh so slowly I drift up
Alone, defenceless, deadened shine.


Just amazing....it had a strange serene undertone to it, like a peaceful, slowmotion shot of this happening...uh...in my head at least. :D


Taken is my favourite...its so raw...i love raw emotion, you wrote this amazingly well, so more :bow :bow :bow

I wish i could take a bit out, but i really cant, its so wow....heh...wow is the word i use when my vocabulary sinks to new levels of suckiness :laugh

Bribes Again, raw and real, i loved this part the most:

Quote:
The kiss.
Lips
Teasing
Deep
Wonderful
It was sealed.
I was yours
In a way I never knew I could be.


Oh my god.....that was so....can i say wow again? :laugh oh lord someone rescue my retardedness....

It actually brought tears to my eyes, im sitting here biting my lip like a girlie girl *giggles* :blush

Okay....thats about as good as it gets, i really cant give fb properly in any shape or form ever :laugh

Oh! And Belli feels reeeeally guilty that she hasn't given you fb yet, but! And i quote!

Quote:
oh! tell her i think she's awesome too!


:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

So on the whole, we feel you should post a heck load more, because we love it.

MORE NOW! :D

Stace and uh, Belli xXx


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:29 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
SJ: Thanks SJ:) It's great to know you liked 'em, and thanks for feedbacking!

StaceAngel: Wow....wow....lol. Thanks so much for the feedback! And to Bellie too:) Your feedback was excellent, really detailed...lol, so I'm posting 'more now'! Thanks so much!


Well, I'm off for my exam in an hour...Maths...holy crap. Wish me luck!

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:31 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
Okay guys, some new ones....feedback is loved!

My Own

I'm my own
Understand?
You don't own me
I don't belong to you
My mind
My heart
My soul
My body
All mine
Take your hands off
No longer rape my mind
Take control of my heart
Rip my soul in two
Abuse my body.
I used to submit
Kneel
And take it all
Head bowed
In screaming silence
I was yours
You owened me
I belonged to you.
Filled with shame
Revolsion
Agony
At the memory
Of how I became yours
To play with.
No more
Never
Ever
Again
I'm my own.



Pool

Trusting you
I reach out my hand
And feel you grasp it
Tight.
Warm skin against skin
Blood against blood
Hand to hand
My trust is bared.
I feel it tighten
Sigh a release
Safe
Secure
Sure of you
Tears on my cheeks
You have me safe
No need to worry
Any longer.
Hand holds mine
I look in to your eyes
And feel sick dread
Settle within.
Your smile is twisted
Sadistic
Sardonic
Lips stretch to bear teeth
Smile to grin
Filled with menace
Sick with disgrace.
I feel my lips tremble
Tightening in throat
Face turns to white
As your eyes glint mistrust
Cold skin against mine
As you let my hand go
And I fall
So far
Into a pool of betrayal.



Hidden Truth

Hide the evidence
Cover it away
Make it dissapear
As footsteps echo near the door.
Choke on true emotions
As swallowing them down.
Enter parent
What were you doing?
Smile
Nothing
Face hurting, cracked from lies
And forced down
Feelings.
Do they buy it?
Parent says ok
Bought it.
Watch them leave
Door slams behind them
Loud
So loud
In your ears.
Reach deep down
And pull what's hidden out-
The tears fall from within
Anger, hate, fear,
Bubbles up, no longer buried
And forced to wander
How soon until you have to
Hide it
The true emotions
All away again?






Thanks for reading
*hugz*
~Gabs


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:49 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Liked those poems,great expressive writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 11:07 pm 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:17 am
Posts: 5210
Location: Oregon
Wow....what can I possibly say about these that could ever do them the justice they deserve?

Each poem is so simple, yet says so much. There is a wealth of knowledge and information packed into so few words. I absolutely loved them. I think my favorite would have to be ....wow this is hard...But i think it would have to be Pool because I just love the way you've set it up.

In the beginning of the poem, I got this incredible rush of wonderful, warm feelings.... but then it begins to turn darker, and that it is that bridge between light and dark that amazes me. Through the length of reading I was able to go from warm happiness at the descriptions of trust to anxious as you described that trust "gone wrong" and finally to a kind of meloncholy that settled in toward the end. The end almost had a feel of death...if that makes any sense...almost like veiwing a corpse (sorry if that image seems distasteful)

There is such strength in your writing and that plays out beautifully between the spaces of your words. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us.

xoxo
Emms

_________________
G Wing


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 1:40 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:55 am
Posts: 216
Location: usually dozing behind a book and/or computer...many times both
Gabbles,

Your poetry is amazing. I'm impressed how you are able to capture fervent moments and convey them with such clarity that as a reader I can feel those moments as if I was there. In Invisitbility, I sense the bitterness of trying to conform to the expectations of others. And in Fade, the loneliness and isolation are so incredibly vivid and heartwrenching. I can go on with each poem, but I will spare you my incoherant ramblings.

Absolutely brilliant. That pretty much sums it for me.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers,
teddy

_________________
If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:25 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
SJ: Wow, thanks SJ:) Thanks heaps for replying and the positive feedback! I'm glad you like them...

Emms: Wow...wowwy wow. The brilliant Emms! Thanks so much for all the brilliant feedback.

Quote:
Simply beautiful


God...thank you so much. Your feedback really touched me-considering you're such an amazing writer, it made this already touching praise mean even more. Thanks for the fantastic feedback!

Teddy: Gosh, my heads no gonna be able to get through my bedroom door after all this praise...your feedback and comments meant to much. Thank you for taking the time to read my poems and comment on them! Wow...*blushes*



Thanks so much guys...I'm all blown away by your kind words...

Some more are on their way!

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:05 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
ok guys/gals/folks...come more poems. Thanks for reading:)

Tease

Whisper of a song
A hint of a melody
Haunting of a tune
A striking of a chord
All sweep across my memory
To taunt what can't be found.
Dredges of rememberence
Seeping in subconscious
Floating to the surface
Playing with a conscious mind
To dip and sway; to fade away
Unravelling what was made.


Questions

What are you supposed to do
When you're so terrified
You cant even breath
Hyperventilating
In the desperate need
For air.
Too scared to make a noise
Too scared to move away
Too scared to hide
Too scared to run.
Who are you supposed to turn to
When no one cares
No one
Even sees
The frightened mess
That you've become.
Your heart is pounding
A beat of silenced fear
Echoing in your ears
Entrapping your mind
In a cage of lost thoughts
And misguided beliefs
Long implanted.
Where are you supposed to go
When everywhere
You're followed.
When you cant move
Or even breath.
There's nowhere
You're alone
Forever
So you just sit, in silence, and rock
An endless rhythm
Of broken comfort.


Laugh

I laugh
And, God, it's real
A real laugh
A smile
That's pure
And true
And not faked.
I'm confused
That's not happened before.


Falling

Falling
So fast
Ground rushing upwards
At a speed that simply
Terrifies
And I know
Oh, do I know
That when I land
Smack
Hard
It's going to hurt
Agony, in fact
Pain I've never known.
But
At the same time
It comes so slowly
I seem to never reach it
And the anticipation hurts
Scares
Intimidates
And I want it to happen
Be over
Now
And then
Then
I hit
And damn
Do I regret
Wishing it forward.



Hope you liked...

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:57 am 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:55 am
Posts: 216
Location: usually dozing behind a book and/or computer...many times both
Heya Gabs,

I thought Tease truly captured the ethereal quality of the title. In Laugh, I enjoyed the twist at the end....how something that is considered to occur so naturally and with ease actually doesn't. I thought Falling and Questions shared a common theme of fear. What I thought was interesting was the differentiation between the types of fears. In Questions, the focus is how fear viscerally affects the individual and how it can hinder a person while in Falling, the fear is an anticipatory one that pushes the individual to act or at least want to act.

Thanks for sharing more beautiful poems.
Cheers,
teddy

_________________
If you are incalculable, then we are congruent. ~Hillman~ Insanity of noble minds, That never falters nor abates, But labors and endures and waits, Till all that it foresees it finds Or what it can not find creates.~Longfellow~
Got Gaydar?||


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:25 pm 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:17 am
Posts: 5210
Location: Oregon
Gabs, Gabs, Gabs... I actually saw that you posted when I was out here this morning before I had to leave for work, but I didn't have much time to leave the kind of feedback I had wanted to leave, so I decided to wait until I had a bit longer to produce something both eloquent and constructive...and possibly rambly...but I guess we'll see about that one won't we? :lol anyway... back to the point of my little side tangent here....where was I? Awww yes...So anyway, I printed your poems out this morning and took them to work with me, and while the kids were taking a nap I had a chance to properly process them through the mixed up channels of my squishy little mind.... :lol

I must say, this time around you put a lot of action into your words, I loved the poem entitled Tease And as the word 'tease' implys, you did just that through-out each line...for example:

Quote:
Whisper of a song
A hint of a melody
Haunting of a tune
A striking of a chord


Each one of these lines in the quote I've provided is in illustration of this 'tease" theme. To whisper as opposed to speaking openly and audibly, A hint as opposed giving the away the answer, and a haunting is but a tease of what once was life experienced tangibly.

Quote:
To dip and sway; to fade away
Unravelling what was made.


I really think this bit is wonderful as well, it really is a grand summation of the basic theme of the poem, which in my opinion is our inability to control the world around us and how even small traces of substance or the lack there of, can spark feelings, memories, and emotions in us that were always just under the surface of our conscious mind.

The other poem I'd like to discuss at length is Questions

This poem really hit home for me because of something I have to deal with everyday. I have a pretty high level of anxiety and i'm usually able to control it (without medication) But sometimes if something happens that really worries me, I'll have an anxiety attack. now, I said all that, so that I could say, while reading this poem It was almost as if I was looking at myself during the crest of a really bad anxiety attack.(and I've had a few) It was pretty sobering really.

Quote:
So you just sit, in silence, and rock
An endless rhythm
Of broken comfort.


And this part was paticularly powerful for me... because I've been there.

I also thought that Laugh and Falling were wonderful as well. Thank you for sharing your talent with us sweetie. I'll be looking forward to more poems from you.

xoxo
Emms

_________________
G Wing


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:44 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:44 pm
Posts: 433
Location: Australia
ooooooooookaY! SO! Double drama’s cancelled and Bell is home alone again and very very bored

yes.. its true.. after LOOOOTS of delay! IT IS pointless unhelpful babbling feeeeeeedback time!!! GATHER ROUND!

Okay, warning, this is gna be daaaamn long! You can expect no less from miss G’s number one fan! That’s right! I am u know *proudly shows off her badge* she maaaade it for me! Oh *glares* stay back.. ITS MINE!!!! Hmm? What? *looks at editor* feedback? Oh.. riiight..

Lets go from the beginning shall we? Own.. *sighs* when I first read ur lil installment of poems I sat there goin :shock :shock :shock she. can. write. poetry?!?!?! And well lol, u know ur an awesome writer, but this really was an exceptional way to start out..

And the nominee for Favourite Part is:

Quote:
Skin so silken
Hair so soft
Body so weilding
Owning me to the point where I no longer recognise
Who I've
Become.


Ugh.. that ending, u do it with most of ur poems, the last few lines just cut so deeply, :aww all painful and stuffs..

I’m just in love with the style you write in, it’s so damn emotive, even when it’s structured, like with Fade, the rhyming and stuff, even when you do that.. I can’t explain it, every single thing you’ve ever posted just has such amazing fluidity to it, and even when that fluidity is jarred because of the emotions behind the words, well, u still get it, and it just makes the overall affect that much more touching.

And the nominee for Favourite Part is:

Quote:
So you close your mouth tightly
And give up the fight
And allow yourself, ever so politely,
To fade slowly from sight.


Like I said before, you always do it, just those last few lines, they take my breath away and I almost slump and go ‘oh oooow! daaamn ow!’

I actually really love it when you rhyme your poems. Some people, they kind of force the words to fit and it ends up ruining the whole poem, you’ve never done that, everytime you rhyme, like oh! Innocence shattered! Love that one! Anyway, everytime you do it, it just fits so well, like the words were meant to be written, you don’t even think about the individual words, but the meaning they’re putting across, and that’s the whole point of poetry right?

And the nominee for Favourite Part is:

Quote:
Innocence shattered
My heart a constant ache
My body battered
You left this in your wake.


Conjures up such a powerful image, so destroyed *sighs* looove reading ur poems :laugh

Another of my favourite’s has to be taken, god, especially this bit:

Quote:
I hear you scream so desperately
Shaken, as you're torn away
Your nails scrape my skin
As you're taken anyway.

I feel you gone
Eternally
Ever
Taken


Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddd daaaaaaaamn! Fricken amazing.. all of it.. Eternally, ever, taken. Perfect way to end it.. just.. wow.. amazing.. nothing more I can think to say about that.. its just.. its awesome


And ooooooooooooomfg! My favourite lines EVER in any of ur poems are these from Bribes:

Bribing me
With kisses so soft.


When I read that in my head, even the words are whispered, its like this really sad.. defeated line.. *sighs* shifts everything inside me and makes me go all mushed lol!

*is prodded out of her swooning over the lines* ….huh? hm.. oh.. *glares at editor* IM FEEDBACKING OKAY! YES I KNOW IM TAKING MY TIME! JUST BUGGER OFF! *rolls her eyes* git..

Oh.. *grins* here’s a niiiice poem, yes, very nice indeed..

Quote:
Agony
At the memory
Of how I became yours
To play with.
No more
Never
Ever
Again
I'm my own.


Geeeeeeee… more important lines have never been written.. try reading over them whenever u feel ur weakening dammit! Listen now.. You’re. Ur. Own. *grins and nods* u got that? gooooood! Now lets say it together…


...okay okay.. moving on.. another example of your awesomeness.. just this line from Pool: as your eyes glint mistrust, cold skin against mine. When you look at it, there’s no big words.. its not worded in a particularly complicated way.. but honestly it’s one of the best lines I’ve read. I love that bit.. ‘eyes glint mistrust’ its so foreboding, ominous, very very cool indeed.. I think u deserve many claps for that one.. *claps* :D


Oooooooh.. onto my favourite ever.. Hiiiiiiidddeeen Truuuuuuuuth

Pretty sensitive subject matter for me so I guess that explains why I love it so much, but honestly, how could I not?! Its damn awesome! If you just skim over the lines, not even pay much attention to them they STILL make you feel like crying.. you can’t ignore words like these.. :( they make me so sad..

Quote:
Face hurting, cracked from lies
And forced down
Feelings.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

Quote:
And forced to wander
How soon until you have to
Hide it
The true emotions
All away again?


aaaaahh.. the universal question lol


aaand hey hey hey hey! This next one! Tease! That better not be bout the song I was telling u about! coz if it is! I will so NEVER be able to talk 2 u about music EVER again! :aww eeeh.. sooorrryy but hey.. atleast you made an awesome poem out of it..

And the nominee for Favourite Part is:

Quote:
Playing with a conscious mind
To dip and sway; to fade away
Unravelling what was made


Especially the last part ‘unraveling what was made’ woooooow..

*cowers in the face of ur awesomeness*


BUT OMG! BEST YET WWWAAAASS:

Quote:
Laugh

I laugh
And, God, it's real
A real laugh
A smile
That's pure
And true
And not faked.
I'm confused
That's not happened before.


:D:D:D:D:D U LAUGHED!??!?! UR SERIOUS?!?!?! *giggles* this is AMAZING! You gotta do it again! What did it? did u fall over? :shock WAS IT WHEN U ALMOST TOOK MY BADGE AWAY AND I GOT SAD?! I can’t believe u laughed at me :aww meeean..

But okay! Enough is enough! The editor (who is ‘the editor’ u ask? Well.. I don’t know.. *whispers* no body does…) is prodding me aaaand I gotta eat yogurt cooz im hungry :D:D sooo! Hope you’ve enjoyed my extensive feedback! Please excuse the delay :D

Farewell lil G; my Australian compadrè!

*gallops away*

- bellness

_________________
let me live forever.. in the space between our lips...


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:06 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Great imagery in your poems.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 3:03 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:13 pm
Posts: 1482
Location: Outer Banks
Wonderful poems, especially Tease.

BV

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It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:15 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
fun in dysfuntion: Wow. Thank you for such beautiful praise...I'm glad you enjoy my poems..some can be kinda depressing, I know...but I just write what I see/feel/hear etc...its good to know that they can be seen as beautiful xoxo

Miss Kittys Ball O Yarn: Okay, wow...you, brillaint writer, are reading my peoms *pride moment*. Btw, i love ramblyness:D Those first four lines of Tease just entered my head and I couldn't get rid of them, until I ignored the fact that I was in a maths test and hunted for some paper in my bag and wrote them down. Oops. hehe. I'm glad you liked this poem, and you said such great things bout it...its one of mine that I actually really like...Questions came to me at the brink of an anxiety attack...writing it actually stopped it hitting in full force. *hugz* to you....they're scary, aren't they? Thankyou so much for your gorgeous words...*hugz*

Belli Bear: AHHH! IT'S YOU! (haha) Can I just say a huge I LOVE YOU and THANK YOU! Ive replied to you and your amazing feedback on MSN....so I wont type it all again...but god girl, thank you...you're encouragement helps me write, you know that? *hugz* You inspire me, girl and all your praise...wow...xox

SJ: Thanks for reading, and thanks for letting me know you enjoy my poems:) xoxo

barnabasvamp: Thank you so much:) I'm glad you enoy'd them:)




Thanks so much everyone, I'm blown away but such amazing words...

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:30 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
These poems are darkish...just a warning....


You Won

Beat me
The pain of hands
Feet
Fists
On flesh
Batters deep within
Rhythmic pounding
Violence transcending
Toture inflicted upon my skin
Is nothing
God, it's nothing
Compared to the beating you give my soul.
So beat me
Wear me down
Try
Try so hard
To get me to believe
What it is
You believe
With everything you are.
Bruise me
Pretty patterns mark my frame
Blue, purple
Tinged with green
Old and new
Intermingling
To make a patchworked quilt
Of your anger
Stitched deep within me.
Bruise my skin
Mark me yours
Colour my spirit
So it's
Owned by you.
Marks left
From you to me
To remind me of what you know
And have known
All along.
Bend me
Work me slowly
As you deform me
Without a second thought;
Laugh
So manically
As you shape me
Twist me
Warp me
Into something
I can't even recognize
As I study a haunted
Lost
Shadowed reflection
Of a bent
Twisted
Warped
Admonition
Of truth.
Break me
Shatter every last peice of me
One shred
The last
Of hope
Of dignity
Of faith
Of me
Torn apart by your bare hands
And thrown
Scattered
So easliy
Into a wind
You brought into existence.
Rip me into tiny peices
Down to the size
You know
I belong.

Beat me
Bruise me
Bend me
Break me


Leave nothing in your wake
Nothing recognizable
A shell
A trembling
Bloody
Bruised
Bent
Broken
Blank...
Until,
Gasping,
Shuddering,
Worn...
I believe you...
I'm beaten
I'm bruised
I'm bent
I'm broken

I'm nothing...
I belive you
I'm nothing..
My head is bowed
I'm nothing...
I'm on my knees
I'm nothing
Torn to shreds
I'm nothing...
I give in
I'm nothing
You've won...

I'm nothing...


You Know It

God
What you do to me
Only you
Can do it
I've tried
Damn it
I've tried so hard.
There have been others
I've glanced at
Let close
Let near
In hopes that they can do it, too
Capture that part of me
That only you have caught so far.
But none of them
Not one
Comes close.
You
Just glance at me
And I shiver
You
Run a finger over my hand
And I'm lost.
They look at me
And I don't even see
They
Grab for my hand
And I pull away.
You own me
Control me
Run me
And you know it.


Screaming

The noise echoes round the room
Shocking them all
And I can't believe it
That this noise
This noise
Is shocking them
Scaring them
In such a way.
How is it
That my scream
Peircing
Loud
Desperate
Terrifyingly real
Has shocked them?
It's as if they hadn't expected it
But I can't understand
Because I've been screaming for years...


It's Okay...

It's okay;
I get it
No need to beat it into me.
After so many
Many
Terrible years
I finally get it.
You've succeeded
That's right
So go
Go on
Place that sick smile upon your face
Smirk
You're successful
At this one thing
That you've played with all your life:
Me.
You did it
I get it
I understand it now.
Finally.
I'm on my knees
Thanking you
For making me understand the truth:
I'm worthless.
I'm useless
I'm hated.
It's okay...
I get it now.




Sorry bout the depressingness theme...

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


Last edited by gabbles on Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:41 am 
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5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
Me

Sadness grips my chest
So tight
I fear I can't breath.
A well opens in my soul
Engulphing any hope
Any chance
I thought I once had had.
Blackness creeping in
As the tear
The rip
From deep within
Grows;
Fed by life
By people
By vindictiveness
By fear
By needless
Hopeless
Death
By pain and terror and tears and grief and sorrow
Cruelty
A neverending source of nourishment
For the chained monster hidden within.
Each day it wears me down
Grinds the light to a lost, pathetic
Glimmer
That one day
I see it
Flicker
Then dissapear.
Blackness takes me over
And bleakness becomes my life.
And no longer do these things effect me
No longer do I see
Pain, tears
Fear, grief, sorrow
Cruelty
And feel it pull me down.
Nothing
It dredges up
Absolutely...
Nothing.
The tear
The rip
The hole
Is now me.
Black, bleak
Lost
Unfeeling
Me



Thought I'd add another, the last, of my latest depressing ones. *grimaces* that way they're all done and I can try come up with lighter stuff:)
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:28 pm 
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23. Volumey Text

Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:39 pm
Posts: 3787
Location: UK
Pretty dark poetry,great writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:44 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:13 pm
Posts: 1482
Location: Outer Banks
You're right about these being a bit depressing, but they're still good.
Sometimes just putting your feelings on paper can help immensely.

BV

_________________
It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:25 pm 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:17 am
Posts: 5210
Location: Oregon
What great therapy poetry is. It's the one thing we can write and not have to be concerned with Punctuation, paragraphs, tenses, voice...Poetry has no rules and that's what makes it such a great phychologist.

I absolutely love what you've done here. It's amazing how all of these poems are completely seperate, yet linked together by theme as if they are almost segements of one larger body of work.

Quote:
Pretty patterns mark my frame
Blue, purple
Tinged with green
Old and new
Intermingling


I think out of all the poems, this part was my favorite. It really flowed and spoke powerfully on the real physicality of pain.

I just love the way these poems were so soul baring. It was almost as if a person, at the bottom of thier truth had opened their overcoat and was wearing nothing underneath. So real. So raw. So true. And so representitive of the human condition as seen from the inside.

Thank you sweetie, for another wonderful batch of works.

xoxo
Emms

_________________
G Wing


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:57 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
SJ: Hey SJ, thanks for the feedback, and thanks for reading...:)

barnabasvamp: Agreed, completely....poetry and stories and such are great ways to put your feelings out. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the feedback.

Miss Kittys Ball O Yarn: Yes, poetry is the best therapy there is:) No rules leads to no restrictions, which means flowing feelings....I think many of us would be lost without it.

Quote:
I just love the way these poems were so soul baring. It was almost as if a person, at the bottom of thier truth had opened their overcoat and was wearing nothing underneath. So real. So raw. So true. And so representitive of the human condition as seen from the inside.


Now you are such a writer...:). Thankyou so much for you're words, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poems, as dark as they were. :)




Thanks for reading guys, and thanks for the feedback.

*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:02 pm 
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5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:28 am
Posts: 305
Location: Down Under *grins*
You...

A shiver of a smile
A trickle of a laugh
A hint of your melody
A flash of dancing eyes...

Twirling of your body
Shine of your hair
Kisses of your lips
Touches of your hand.

Trails of a fire
Fuelled by your passion
Trace their way across my skin
In a touch as soft as love.

The sound of your sighing
Whispers in my ear
Calling just to me
To never let you go...



Distance

I step away
Put space between us-
I can't allow
For us to be too close
So I pull
Away
From
You.
Can't allow it-
I touch
You
And I'll fall-
I'll fall and drown
In everything
That's
You.
I swallow heavily
And put painful space
Between us.
It hurts-but it would hurt more
If I closed the distance
And
You
Rejected
Me.



A Kiss?

What's in a kiss?
Unsaid words?
Hidden meanings?
Who moves first, are they brave?
Or just desperate?
What's in a kiss?
Feelings
Wants
Lusts
Dreams for you.
I want you
To feel your lips against my
Own.
Soft, tender, I want you.
Always
Forever.
Yet, I lack bravery
Or, perhaps,
Desperation.
Yet,
My body aches
For your
Touch.
Craves, wants, lusts after
So much, at times
I could just
Break
Down
And
Cry



Pieces

The glass slips far from my grasp
Falling, slowly, fast
Slowing
Speeding
I watch it shatter
Like my heart
Thousands of pieces
When you
Pull away
From me

Pieces
Upon pieces
Fly across the hardness of
The tile.
Pieces of the glass
And pieces of my heart.
Sharp
Jagged
Broken
Scattered all over the place

Lost, unglued
Never to be
Put
Back
Together





Thanks for reading guys.
*hugz*
~Gabs

_________________
A spirit is a special thing...it can never truly be broken, and never, ever be tamed. The most calmed spirits out there, hold a wild edge to them...for they are the very essence of a person, and every person is capeable of anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Gabbles' Musings
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:35 am 
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8. Vixen
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:33 pm
Posts: 876
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
:clap :bow :clap :bow :clap :bow :clap :bow :clap :bow

How do you always manage to make my heart ache? Woah Gabsyness...those were amazing!! Just like everything you write...so uh, whos this new chick huh? ;-)

Quote:
The sound of your sighing
Whispers in my ear
Calling just to me
To never let you go...


I love the way you ended that particular poem....but i dont really wanna sit here and analyse your poems knowing fully well this is how you feel ya know? So i just wanna say that, that was a beautiful poem,and i love that you write stuff exactly how it is and how you see it. Lets have more happy ones :flirt :-D kay? Are you writing more now? *pokes you with a stick* iiii dont care if you dropped your pen! KEEP IT GOIN!

Quote:
I swallow heavily
And put painful space
Between us.
It hurts-but it would hurt more
If I closed the distance
And
You
Rejected
Me.


That made my heart ache.... :aww Damn we really need to talk more lol, i should come online more often...*writes it on a post it note and sticks it on her chin* noted :-D *thanks self* heeeh...

Okay your next one

A Kiss? Kisses can be so many things, and i love the way you've conveyed them here.

Quote:
Who moves first, are they brave?
Or just desperate?


Thats a pretty clever juxtaposition! A kiss isnt just the meeting of lips but you've captured the emotion and motive behind a kiss, and sometimes people forget what its like to really mean a kiss. And obviously you've showed this throughout the whole poem, but i just wanted to pick that particular part out *nods*.
But again, not gonna completely analyse them.. you know me, cant analyse for shit =)) can we say TARD? *grins*


AAAANYWHOOO....

I *points to self* will talk to you soon!

*hugs n love n puppies n candy n kisses n happy feelings*

Staceness xXx

_________________
Dana Scully: Just because these girls have a high school facination with witchcraft it doesn't mean they're raising the dead.
Fox Mulder: Saw them do it on Buffy.
-Resist or Serve, The X-Files

Between the seasons we find room to breathe out... -I'll Go Until My Heart Stops


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