Play It From the Heart



Krista joined the swarm of student bodies in the hall and made her way towards her locker. She stifled a yawn; French class was definitely not the way to wake up, and she cursed whatever bad luck had scheduled it at 8 am. She walked with slow steps towards her next class, her body broadcasting her lethargy. She did not register that anyone was walking beside her until a voice said, “Wow, Krista. Comatose much?”



Her head jerked up and she saw Jay’s grinning face inches from hers. She stopped abruptly, her eyes wide with surprise. “Wow, Jay. Creepy much?” The words slipped out of her mouth before her censor could stop them, and she looked away and continued to walk towards her classroom. She hoped she hadn’t offended him; it wasn’t her way to be that forward with people she barely knew. Her worries were put to ease when he caught up to her, laughing.



“Sorry, man,” he apologized, though he was still grinning. He didn’t know she had such a quick tongue. “You were so out of it, I was walking with you for like two minutes before you noticed.”



“I’m tired.”



“You’d better wake up before we get to class. Mr. Snyder is notorious for giving quizzes during the first few weeks of school. He thinks it makes him look tough, so people won’t slack off in his class.”



Krista sighed. “I’m totally the kind of person to prove him wrong. Especially at oh-dark hundred in the morning.”



“Listen, I wanted to have a short meeting at my house tonight, just to discuss stuff like, what we all want to get done for the band, what sort’ve stuff we want to do performance-wise. It won’t be long. Meet after dinner, like eight or so. Do you think you can come?”



“Yeah, okay.”



“Okay.” They’d reached the door of the classroom just as the bell rang. Mr. Snyder was standing right beside the door, and slammed it shut as soon as the last note of the bell died away. Everyone hustled to their seats. He strode to the center of the room, picked a stack of papers off of his desk, and smiled at the class.



“I have a treat for you all,” he began. Jay and Krista looked at each other and laughed.

******************************************



The warning bell rang and Krista shoved her unnecessary books into her locker, retaining the ones needed for her next two classes. She started up the stairs and upon reaching the top and turning the corner spotted Taryn at the other end of the hall walking towards her with her usual gaggle of friends. Krista resisted the urge to wait and say hello and slipped into her English class just as the final bell began to ring.



Her concentration drifted in and out as they discussed their first major reading assignment, The Importance of Being Earnest. She’d enjoyed the play very much; her copy was dog-eared and marked up with passages she wanted to be able to readily revisit. Her classmates had no such love for it, though. The vast majority of them seemed to have found it boring, and since she wasn’t about to stand up and contradict them (and create a reputation that could very well follow her through the rest of her time there), she chose to tune them out. She didn’t tune in again until Mrs. Taylor made an announcement towards the end of the class that she found interesting.



“I have a quick announcement before the bell,” she started. “Maybe you’ve seen the flyers posted around the school, but in case you haven’t, this year is the trial run for the first Townshend High student magazine. This is going to be a quarterly endeavor, and unlike the student newspaper, it will be dedicated entirely to creative work. Drawing, photography, poetry, prose, whatever people submit, so long as it’s printable. The first deadline for submissions is set for November 2nd, and for anyone who’s interested in joining the staff, the first meeting will be tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. So, if---” She was interrupted by the shrill ringing of the bell. She shrugged and waved her hand towards the door. With a scraping of chairs and the zipping of many backpacks, the classroom was soon cleared out, and Krista rode the wave of student bodies out into the hall to her Health class.

****************************



Bright sun greeted her as she stepped out of the double doors that lead to the outdoor lunch area. She shaded her eyes and looked towards her spot; it was isolated from the general student population, and she didn’t really expect anyone to else to sit there, but she always experienced a brief moment of panic anyway. She hurried up the hill and sunk onto the grass beneath the tree, settling herself until she was comfortable. She removed a brown paper bag from her backpack and unpacked her lunch with measured preciseness: sandwich on her left thigh, her jug of juice on the grass to her right, open bag of chips nestled in the crook of her knee, paper bag with a piece of fruit still inside laying in front of her on the grass. Once everything was settled she ate her lunch with little attention, her thoughts drifting inward.



Taryn squeezed through the double doors, her tray balanced carefully in her hands, and scanned the yard for her friends. Before she spotted them her eyes landed on Krista’s lone figure. A pang of pity shot through her as she observed the girl, eating her lunch and staring into space. She looked at her for a long moment before her body made a decision and turned itself in Krista’s direction.



Krista looked up in alarm as a shadow fell over her. The sun was shining in her eyes, casting the face of the new arrival in darkness.



“Hey,” she heard, and recognized with relief that it was Taryn- relief that was quickly replaced with panic. She brushed her hand over her mouth, hoping she didn’t have breadcrumbs stuck on her face or something embarrassing like that.



“Hi.”



“What are you doing out here all alone?” Taryn questioned, folding her long legs beneath her and sinking to the ground in one fluid motion. She set her tray on the grass in front of her and looked around, taking in the view. “Wow, you can see everybody from up here. Great people-watching spot. I don’t know why I’ve never come up here before.”



“Yeah. It’s perfect for being alone and watching everyone else.” She didn’t add that most people were too busy socializing during their lunch period to even consider secluding themselves under a tree.



Taryn glanced at her. “Am I intruding? I shouldn’t have just assumed---”



“No, no,” Krista was quick to assure her. “I mean, I don’t know anyone here to have lunch with yet, so…”



“Well, we share lunch periods. I’m sure we could probably eat together from time to time,” Taryn teased.



Krista bowed her head in embarrassment and gave a weak laugh. Her pulse started to do a tap dance at the thought of spending more lunch periods with this Goddess (Stop it, she thought) but she didn’t want it to be because the other girl felt sorry for her.



“So, what classes are you taking?”



“Oh, um, I have French with Mr. Potter, World History with Mr. Stewart, English with Mrs. Taylor, um, Health with Ironman Howell---”



“Caught on to that one already, huh,” Taryn remarked around a chuckle.



“Yeah. It’s pretty funny.”



“But very right on. So who else?” Krista listed the rest of her teachers, Taryn nodding her head and offering the occasional suggestion about how to handle so-and-so’s class, or regaling her with some school legend about what so-and-so did. What grade is she in anyway, Krista wondered. They didn’t have any classes together, so definitely older. Junior maybe?



Her roster of teachers exhausted, they sat in companionable silence for a moment, eating their lunches. Taryn laid her fork down after a few minutes, her face registering her disgust, and she leaned back against the tree, her shoulder inches away from Krista’s.



Krista’s breath caught at the proximity of the girl. “Not good?” she asked, inclining her head to indicate Taryn’s discarded lunch. She struggled to be cool and casual.



“Very not good,” she replied. “It’s a gamble, y’know? Whether or not what you choose for lunch was scraped off the bottom of someone’s shoe.” She smiled as Krista erupted into laughter.



Krista seemed to watch from outside of herself as her arm magically extended her sandwich to Taryn and her lips moved without her consent. “You want half of my sandwich? It’s kinda weird, you might not like it.” Her brain yelled at her, What are you doing, dumbass? No she doesn’t want a part of your sandwich! She was about to grab hold of her senses and retract the offending arm when Taryn reached over and took it. She looked at it for a second.



“You don’t have to---” She was about to assure Taryn that she didn’t have to eat from the part Krista had already bitten into, or take the sandwich at all if she didn’t want to, but Taryn had already torn off a piece right down the middle, right through the indentation Krista’s mouth had left. Krista watched in mute fascination as Taryn casually lifted her half to her mouth and took a bite. Krista thought she would swoon. Watching Taryn eat a part of her sandwich, a part that she herself had already bitten off of, was almost like kissing her. Which goes to show how much I know about kissing, she thought wryly.



Taryn handed the other half of the sandwich back to her. “Mmmm,” she murmured appreciatively around a mouthful of sandwich, “this is good. What is it?”



“Um, avocado, sprouts, tomato, cheese, and mayo.” The answer was automatic; her thoughts were elsewhere.



“Are you a vegetarian?”



“No, I just don’t like lunchmeat.”



The sandwich was falling apart with its slippery combination of fillings, and an avocado/mayo mixture began to creep down Taryn’s wrist. Krista watched in wide-eyed amazement as she began to lick the offending mess off of her wrist, oblivious to everyone. Krista burst into laughter, leaning over her knees, her face almost in the grass. Her mother would have had a conniption at that display of bad manners! Taryn continued to eat her half of the sandwich, eyes wide and innocent, though Krista caught the sparkle in them that said she was enjoying her reaction.



“I should’ve warned you. It’s messy,” Krista said when she could draw a breath.



“Apparently,” Taryn replied. Krista shook her head wordlessly. “You do know,” Taryn continued, “that you now have to bring enough food every day to feed the both of us. In case I don’t like the cafeteria food.”



“Says who?” she shot back, a little taken aback by her boldness. But it feels good, she thought.



Taryn pretended to look offended. “We’re lunch buddies, aren’t we?



Krista peered at her suspiciously, unsure. “Are you serious?”



Taryn opened her mouth to answer when she was distracted by puffing, shuffling sounds. They turned to their left to see three girls trudging up the hill, panting and making complaining noises. Krista recognized the girls as Taryn’s normal lunch group. The pretty blonde with high-heeled boots and tank-top reached them first.



“Goddamn, Taryn,” she whined, “What are you doing in the nosebleed seats?”



Taryn looked up, unconcerned, wiping avocado off her pants. “Krista and I were just hanging out. You guys know Krista?”



The blonde shook her head as the others reached her, looking equally annoyed by the trek. All three peered down at Krista, who had the sudden sensation of being on display.



“Krista, this is Shelley, Candice, and Meg. Guys, this is Krista. She’s the new bassist for Q.”



Krista watched in amazement as the disinterest in their faces turned into curiosity. This was magic. One small thing like being in a band was enough to make her into a ‘somebody.’ It was better than she’d imagined. She glanced up nervously and said, “Hi.” I wish you’d sit down or go away; preferably go away, she added to herself.



The girls murmured greetings, looking at Krista with uncertainty.



“You play bass.” The blonde, Shelley, seemed unsure of whether she was asking a question or making a statement.



“Yeah.”



Shelly seemed to consider this for a moment as her companions looked on. It was clear that whatever Shelley’s reaction, it would dictate that of the other girls.



“Cool,” Shelley finally said. “Good for you.” She shifted her attention to Taryn, and the four began to babble about various mutual acquaintances at school and who did what this weekend and to whom. Krista stood for a few minutes, uncertain of her next move, before deciding that this was appeared to be her cue to get lost. She turned, bending to pick up her trash when she felt a hand on her arm. She straightened up, surprise etched on her face as she stared at Taryn.



“Where ya’ going? Lunch isn’t over yet.” With that Taryn tugged Krista’s bag out of her hand and turning back to the others said, “And you guys sit. You’re making me nervous.”



Krista watched as the three girls struggled to get comfortable on the grass and formed a loose circle- that included her! She clasped her hands together in front of her, her shoulders slumping a bit. She was so nervous. She watched as Taryn and Candace, the girl with the cornrows, their loud laughter over some tale carrying across the courtyard. She decided that if Taryn had seen fit to introduce her to her friends, the least she could do was try and fit in. She focused on the conversation that was flowing between the friends and, gathering her courage, decided to jump in, laughing in the right places (which wasn’t hard after a bit, since the girls were actually pretty funny). Before long Krista found herself even adding to the conversation. By the time the bell for 6th period rang, Krista was engaging with the other girls in a way that would have shocked her friends back home.



“Oh shit!” Krista exclaimed, grabbing the remnants of her lunch and shoving it into her backpack. “I’m gonna be late for Algebra!”



“No worries,” Taryn assured her as she gathered her own trash. “Have you never been late before?” she teased.



“Says the girl who has Study Hall right now,” Candace muttered.



Krista shot Taryn a look. “Bye you guys. It was nice meeting you,” she said, her voice shy as her nervousness returned. She offered the girls a weak smile before she hurried down the hill.



“Same here,” Shelley replied.



“See you later!” Taryn called after her retreating figure. She stood and grabbed her lunch tray and headed down the hill, her friends in tow.



“She’s…different,” Meg commented from behind her. “Nice, but way too quiet.”



“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for,” Candace added.



“Cut it out. She is nice, and really talented too. And since she’s in the band you’ll probably be seeing a lot more of her, so you need to be nice too,” Taryn warned. She didn’t see her friends roll their eyes at her tone.



“When’s the first show anyway?” Meg questioned, changing the subject.



“We don’t know yet. Jay’s working on it.”



Shelley emitted a dramatic sigh. “Jay.” She started singing to the tune of a classic 80s song, changing the lyrics, “He’s only 16…16….” The girls dissolved into fits of giggles, Taryn grimacing at the sight of her friend gushing over her little brother.

****************************************



The first official day of jazz band rehearsal went well for Krista. After warm-ups, Mr. Brannigan had handed each performer a binder full of sheet music. This was the band’s repertoire for the school year (amendable if anyone had a suggestion, he assured them). Mr. Brannigan also encouraged each student to try and commit at least one tune to memory, as he felt it helped the pace and feel of the music if everyone’s eyes weren’t focused on sheets of paper when playing. Overall Krista approved of the choices, although she could have done without some of the more Jazz 101 selections, which were the songs they were starting out with. She supposed it was to help sync the band, but she was eager to get into the more difficult numbers. There were even a few that she hadn’t played before. She was excited to show them to her dad.



After rehearsal Jay caught up with her again to remind her about the meeting. She reassured him that she would be there. As they pushed through the double doors and entered the late afternoon sunlight, Jay said, “Hey, I can give you a ride to school sometimes. Since we live near each other. Save the planet, y’know?”



He smiled at his joke and followed Krista to the bike rack. She leaned down to unlock her bike, avoiding his eyes as she replied, “Well, I usually ride my bike to school. It’s good exercise.” Her bike unlocked, she rolled it back from the metal bars and turned to look at him. Figures; I like boys and not one asks me out. I like girls and suddenly I’m wanted. She was flattered and a bit amazed that Jay was interested in her, but she was also uncomfortable at the thought of having to eventually turn him down. She hoped he would just get her hints and let it go.



“Oh. Okay. If you ever change your mind, y’know, and don’t feel like biking you could just come by the house in the morning. Or call and we could pick you up.”



Krista had swung a leg over the seat of her bike and was preparing to ride off, but stopped. “We?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound too excited.



“Yeah. Me and Taryn drive together some days.”



It was tempting. But I’d be leading Jay on if I said yes, she thought. Besides that, she had already acknowledged to herself that continuing on with fantasies about Taryn would be bad business. “Well, that’s nice of you. I’ll take you up on it if I ever find myself with a broken leg or something,” she said, smiling to take the sting out of it.



“Alright,” Jay said, smiling in return. “See you later, then.” With that he turned and headed towards the parking lot. Krista pushed off on her bike and began her ride home.



******************************************



When she entered the house her father was sitting on the living room floor amidst piles of brochures and catalogs. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a snack before walking over to see what he was doing.



“Wanna see some of the shelving and displays I’m thinking about getting?” he asked, his voice brimming with excitement.



“Sure, dad,” she said, and sat down to browse a few catalogs. Truth be told, she wasn’t interested in the more mundane side of retail at all, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He seemed so entranced with the whole thing.



She sat with him long enough to appease him before announcing that she needed to do homework. Standing and stretching, she said, “Oh, I’m going over to Jay’s after dinner for a little bit to do band stuff,” and started for the stairs.



“Uh, honey,” he called out. She stopped and waited. “Band stuff for how long?”



“I dunno,” she answered, “an hour maybe.”



“The whole band or…just you and Jay?”



“The whole band.” Krista cocked her head, understanding dawning on her. Her father was concerned about her sending time with a boy. Alone. She fought the urge to laugh out loud. So this was how her day would go? “No worries, dad.”



He colored a little, sensing that she understood his angle. “I’m not worried,” he replied, pointedly returning his attention back to his catalogs. “



Krista nodded. “Oookay,” she said, shaking her head. She escaped up the stairs, her mind repeating her conversation with her dad. Her parents thought she was interested in Jay. What had she done to give them that impression other than joining his band?



Her train of thought was interrupted when, halfway down the hall, she noticed that her bedroom door was ajar. “Who’s been in my room?” she shouted down to her father, a feeling of panic building.



Her father’s head appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “I was. The DSL software came today and I thought you might like to have it set-up already.” He gave her a look that said So there and walked away.



“Sorry,” she called meekly. Her heart rate returning to normal, she entered her room, dropping her bag by the door and glancing around to reassure herself that nothing was out of place. She dropped to her knees and looked under her bed; her trunk looked undisturbed. She let the last vestige of anxiety disappear and sat in her chair, anxious to rejoin the online world. She was an internet junkie, and had missed having it for the short time that she’d been in Alexander. She was relieved that she could now email and instant message with Diana, who was almost as addicted as Krista herself was. She wasted no time in signing on to her internet email account. There they were: ten messages from Diana, and at least five from various other friends. She scanned through the messages; several of them were forwards or small messages to say ‘Hi’. Diana was not logged in to her IM account, so Krista satisfied herself with visiting her favorite sites and shooting off a few quick emails to her friends. She spent almost an hour online before she managed to push herself away from the computer desk, grab her bag from its place on the floor, and make her way to her bed. She sat cross-legged, her back against the headboard, and began to do her homework. She didn’t look up from her books until she heard her mother’s car in the drive, signaling that it was almost time for dinner.



******************************************



“Hey Krista,” Jay greeted her as he ushered her through the front door. “Right on time.”



“Hey Jay,” she replied.



He turned and motioned for her to follow him as he started down the hall towards the back of the house. “Everyone’s in the family room. You want anything?”



“Nah, I just had Chinese and I’m stuffed.”



“Funny. We had Chinese last night.”



They reached the doorway to the family room and Jay led her inside. She smiled at Sergio and Taryn, who were already there.



“Hey. Sit wherever you want,” Taryn offered with a grand sweep of her arm. Krista walked across the room, giving Sergio a small wave in response to his “‘Sup?” and settled on the carpet near the fireplace. She looked around the room, taking in the warm coloring of the room and the cozy decorations. Her eyes paused briefly in their roaming upon a set of large doors installed in the wall at the far end of the room. A couch was facing the doors, which weren’t attached to the floor in any way.



Sergio, who had been watching her assess the room, informed her, “Projection TV. State of the art stuff. You should come over here for movie night sometime. It’s better than being in a theater.” She smiled at him in thanks. It would have been rude to ask, or so her mom would have told her.



“You guys all set in here?” Krista turned to the doorway where Jay and Taryn’s mom stood addressing the room. Mrs. Hoffa spotted her and said, “Hi Krista. Nice to see you again.”



“Thank you, Mrs. Hoffa. Nice to see you again, too.”



“Call me Cheryl. All their other friends do.”.



“Yes ma’am,” Krista said, hunching her shoulders in an uncontrollable gesture of shyness. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to do that, and she could just imagine what her mom would say.



Cheryl smiled at the young girl. “Alright, if you guys need anything…at least three of you know where the kitchen is.” With a wave she turned and left the room.



“Alright man, call this meeting to order already,” Sergio encouraged, throwing a small pillow at Jay for emphasis. “Some of us still have homework to do.”



“Sorry if we’re a little unorganized,” Taryn directed at Krista. “We’ve sort’ve been out of commission for the summer, since our bassist graduated and took his lame ass off to college. So it’s like starting from scratch. Yay!” she added, jumping up and down in her seat with mock glee. Krista giggled. She was so cute.



“Sooo,” Jay started, trying to get everyone’s attention. When all eyes were on him he continued. “I called a bunch of the places we played at last year.”



“And?” Sergio prompted.



“We need a new demo. They were willing to listen, but they need a new demo from us.”



“Why?” Taryn questioned. “I mean, we’ve already played at these places, sooo… did they forget us?”

       

“Something like three of them have new management, so they don’t know who we are. And everyone else knows us as Diablo’s opening act. They’re not that psyched about giving us our own show,” Jay explained.



“Dude, we lost a bassist,” Sergio exclaimed, “not a freaking lead singer. No offense,” he added with a glance at Krista. “We sound the same.”



“Man, I’m just relaying the information,” Jay said, shrugging.



Taryn interjected. “No, no, it’s cool. I mean, I guess we could use a new demo anyway. We have a new member.” She looked at Krista and smiled reassuringly. The other girl looked a little overwhelmed.

       

Sergio slouched down in his chair and sighed. “Man. Are we going to just redo the old one or what?”



“I’m thinking that if we have to do one anyway, we should put some of our new stuff on it,” Taryn suggested. “Not all new, cause then they might not recognize us. But something to show where we are now.” She looked again at Krista before turning back to her brother. “Did you give Krista a copy of our old demo yet?”



        ay slapped his forehead. “Duh. That would be a good idea, huh? I’ve got some downstairs.” He jumped out of his seat and ran from the room.



Sergio and Taryn continued to discuss the details of making a new demo, leaving Krista to mull the situation over. She was unsure of whether or not it would be lame to ask the questions and concerns that were nagging at her. Gathering her courage, and trying to convince herself that they wouldn’t think her naïve for her questions, she jumped in.



“Um, where did you guys play last year? Like, what kind of places?”



“Anywhere we could get a show,” Sergio answered with a small laugh. “We do the standard school dances and some house parties, but they don’t pay much if at all and honestly, it’s nice to get some money for it, y’know?”



“We had a couple of good shows at some clubs,” Taryn added. “Through Carson mainly. His older brother had a band and we opened for them sometimes. It’s good exposure, sometimes they pay us even, and the sound equipment’s better, so we’re going to try and set some shows up.”



“It’s going to be hard without Carson’s connections though,” Sergio lamented. “Back to the bush leagues.”



Krista nodded dumbly, uttering a small, “Cool,” all the while trying to sort out what she was hearing. Late nights at clubs that they were somehow able to get into, unsupervised house parties; who were these people she was playing with anyway?



Her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of three CDs in front of her face. “Here you go,” Jay announced. “One of them is the actual demo that we give out, and the other two are just recordings of all of our songs so far. It’d probably be a good idea for you to learn them all.”



Krista nodded her head in agreement, taking them. I might not need to. She turned the CDs over in her hands, glancing over the track listings. Jay settled back into his chair, this time with a pad of paper and a pen in his hands.



“So, is the practice schedule I told you still okay with you?” he asked Krista.



“Thursdays and Saturdays, right?” He nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”



“If we’re trying to gear up for a new demo we might need to add a few rehearsals though,” Taryn added. Sergio nodded in agreement.



“Well, I know we,” Jay gestured to include Krista, “have jazz band Monday, Wednesday, and Friday till 4:30. What’s your work schedule like this semester?”



“4-9 on Friday, and 9-3 on Saturday,” Taryn said.



“You got any commitments?” he asked Sergio.



“I’m pretty much free whenever.”



“Krista?”



“Not that I can think of,” she answered.



“Alright. Let’s add Tuesday, same time, starting next week maybe?” There were shrugs and nods of agreement from everyone. “Cool.”



“Do we have new music?” Sergio asked the room.



“Yeah, actually,” Taryn answered. “I’ve been working on a couple of things, so I’d like us to try them tomorrow if we can.”



“Not the one you were singing in the shower this morning?” Jay asked in mock horror.



“Don’t be a jerk,” she retorted, throwing a cushion at him. She glanced once more at Krista, feeling a little disquieted by her silence. She wondered what was going on in her head, what she was thinking about while she observed everyone. She was tempted to throw a cushion at her too, just to get some sort of reaction. She quickly dismissed the feeling. I’m not some 13 year-old boy trying to get her attention. The thought startled her, and she brought her concentration back to her Sergio and Jay, who were engaged in a conversation about the upcoming party.



Krista half-listened to the boys as they talked about who would be with who at Sheryl’s (whomever that was) bash. She wasn’t invited, so none of that mattered to her, and she didn’t relish the idea of sitting there listening to details of everyone else’s bursting social lives when she had none. She looked at her watch and decided that if the meeting was over, she should be getting home. She got her feet, an apologetic smile plastered on her face, knowing that her departure would seem abrupt. “Sorry guys, but I have to get home. There’s some stuff that I gotta do.”



Sergio waved her off dismissively with a “Later.” Taryn cocked her head to one side, her face clearly showing her confusion, and said, “Bye.”



Jay jumped out of his chair and offered to walk her to the door. As soon as they had left the room, Sergio turned to Taryn and said, conspiratorially, “She’s weird, man.”



“Shut up Sergio,” she sighed, and stood up to head for the kitchen. She saw Krista and Jay standing by the front door as she crossed the hall unnoticed. She didn’t admit to herself that she was eavesdropping, but her movements were careful and quiet as she moved about the kitchen, her head tilted in the direction of the door.



“Sorry I have to leave so soon. I just have a lot of stuff to do,” she heard Krista explain.



“Oh, that’s ok. We pretty much covered everything important,” Jay replied. There was a short, awkward pause (Taryn could just imagine the two of them standing there) and then, “Hey, um, so Sheryl’s party. Are you going?”



“No. I don’t know her.”



“Well, I’m probably gonna go. Do you wanna maybe go with me?”



In the silence that followed Taryn dropped all pretense of getting a drink. She stood still, listening with all of her might.



“Um…look, I’m sorry but…” Taryn could hear the regret and nervousness in her voice as she struggled to find the right words. “…I’m kinda at a point in my life…I’m not really interested in dating right now.” Her words suddenly came out in a panicked rush. “I mean, I assumed you were asking me out, not that I’m being conceited or anything, cause if it was just a friend thing then I’m really embarrassed and so sorry, but I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression in case you were asking me in that way, cause you’re really cool and I don’t want this to be a problem cause I really want to be in this band---”



“Krista,” Jay interrupted, “relax. I was asking you out on a date, but it’s cool. I just think you’re cute, and cool, and we have a lot in common, but it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” In the kitchen Taryn mentally applauded her brother for handling the rejection so well. He was being sweet about it. She didn’t pay much attention to the relief she had felt at Krista’s answer.



She heard a sigh, and then, “So this won’t…you’re not going to kick me out of the band?” Krista’s voice was quiet and belied her uncertainty.



Jay laughed. “Of course not. And I promise I won’t be weird.”



“Thanks.” There was another short silence before Taryn heard the door open. They each made more good-bye and see-you-tomorrow noises before it closed again and Taryn heard Jay’s footsteps approaching. She busied herself getting a glass and opening the refrigerator, but the footsteps continued past the kitchen door to the family room. Relieved that she wouldn’t be caught snooping, and at that point she couldn’t deny that that was what she had been doing, she relaxed and poured herself a glance of Coke before heading back to join the others.



Outside, Krista shuffled down the walkway and headed home. Her shoulders were hunched and her hands shoved deep inside the pockets of her jeans as she contemplated her immediate future with ‘Q.’ She sighed out loud. She couldn’t quite figure out how Taryn, Jay and Sergio were able to get into clubs, let alone perform in them. There were laws, weren’t there? And parties? She could just imagine the kind of parties they were invited to play at, like Sheryl’s party probably; lots of unsupervised teens getting drunk and doing crazy stuff. The kind of parties I never get invited to, she thought bitterly, until tonight of course. She gave a short laugh at her luck. Finally, invited to a party that smacked of the upper crust of high school society…by a boy. Whose sister remained a constant fixture in her mind.



She continued around the corner, absently brushing away the strands of hair the warm Arizona wind blew into her eyes. She walked in deep thought, oblivious to the sounds of her middle-class neighborhood, until she had reached the lit walkway of her home. She could see the flicker of light through the living room window. Her parents were watching television, probably a movie. She hoped they would be too engaged to drill her about her night; she was not in the mood to play the “heterosexual dating game.” She opened the door and stepped inside, fixing a neutral expression on her face.



Her parents glanced up at the sound of her entry. Krista smiled and said, “Hey,” intending to sneak off upstairs. “Hey,” her father hailed. “How was the meeting?”



She stopped in her tracks and turned around, resigned to the questioning to follow. “It was fine.”



Her parents nodded, waiting for more information. She smiled at them, rocking back on her heels. To an outsider they would have looked like a photograph, staring at each other as they were. Krista remained silent, refusing to participate. If they wanted to ask her questions, they were free too, but she wasn’t into volunteering any information. She just wanted to get into her room and contemplate the complications of her life.



Her parents finally exchanged a telling glance, and with a collective sigh released her. “Okay. Are you going to bed now?” her mother questioned. Her father was already picking up the remote.



“Nah. Gotta do some homework first.” Her mom nodded in approval, and turned her attention back to the tv. Krista breathed a silent thanks and made her way up to her room as fast as her legs would carry her.

Wow! That was really wonderful. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to find out how things are going to work out between Krista and Taryn. I hope you update again soon!



~Kat

Awesome update Nice and long.



That sandwich scene really read well. It's a great moment between the two, and you delivered it at just the right pace. Your POV stayed consistent for almost the entire scene, and I think that helped to underscore the inner beauty of the simple, biting-where-another's-mouth-has-been gesture. It's so casual and intimate all at once. We understood that totally-- Seeing it through Krista's eyes. Well done.



The whole update is great, but I think that the sandwich scene is the most memorable. I'd go into 'why?' but don't want to lecture



Great story, BD!



-SQ

cool update, thanks. Great sandwich scene, it was sweet and read very nicely, and Taryn being all sneaky-naughty girl! Can't wait until she finally figures it out and starts having lusty feelings!

woohoo! im glad you updated! loved the sandwich scene... beautiful



keep it commin'



-Kelsey

heeeeey, i don't remember if I already posted a reply to your latest update but I'll say it again. HELL YES! Loved it!



The only thing that could make this story better...is an update! *grin* So...when do you think one might get to read an update? Eh?

Galahad: What a strange person. French Dude: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Galahad: Is there someone else up their we could talk to? French Dude: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. - Monty Python

As always, I'm happy to see people still reading and enjoying. I've been doing a lot f work, trying to fix some things and edit and what-not. Here's the next update.



Title: Play It From the Heart

Author: Big Dummy

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: This is an original story. All characters belong to me. It depicts a romantic relationship betwen two high school girls. Nothing sexual, pure soppy romance. Think Diane Salvatore and Nancy Garden. But not as good. Any similarities between Krista and Taryn and any other characters/rl people is purely coincidental.

Copyright Stuff: I think it goes without saying, but please do not reproduce this piece of original fiction anywhere without my permission. It's my baby. Questions and requests can be directed to the email address in my profile.

Extra: My first time writing an original story, hopefully not my last. Also my first time posting any creative attempt here, or anywhere. It's not done yet, but it's at 177 pages so far, so by the time we get to where I stopped...well, hopefully it'll be done.





Author's Note: This is right after the last bit, same night. I cut the last update off in a weird place cause I realized it was too long, too late. Sorry about that.

*************************************



The Hoffa backyard was dark save for the small light cast by the tiki lamps that surrounded the pool area. Taryn sat at the edge of the, her feet moving in slow, steady circles, causing the water’s surface to ripple and shimmer. A pen rested in one hand, her notebook resting on her lap, both items forgotten as she stared into the dark corners of the yard. She was too engrossed in thought to hear her mother’s soft footsteps approaching, and jumped in alarm when her name was spoken.



“Sorry,” Cheryl apologized, settling herself on the ground next to her daughter.



“’’S’alright,” Taryn said with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t hear you.”



“You looked pretty far away.” Taryn shrugged. “What are you up to, out here all by yourself?”



“Just thinking and trying to write. Looking for some inspiration.” Taryn sighed, indicating how well that process was going.



“Songs aren’t coming, huh?”



Taryn shook her head and smiled. “Nah. Now’s probably not the time, I guess.”



They sat in companionable silence for a moment, listening to the night sounds, before Cheryl spoke again. “How’s Krista working out?”



“Fine. I mean, she’s really shy, but she’s an awesome bassist. And I kinda get the feeling that she’ll loosen up a little after she gets to know us better.” Taryn thought back on her interactions with Krista, at the drive-in and then at lunch. She’d gotten a glimpse both times of who Krista could be once she’d gotten over her awkwardness, and it had reassured Taryn that she would work out in the band. It also, she had to admit to herself, made her curious about Krista. It was this curiosity that had propelled Taryn to seek her out at lunch.



“Well it must be hard for her being new and everything,” her mother was saying. “It’s probably a lot to take in all at once. She just needs to make some friends, and my kids, if I may be allowed a moment of parental pride, are a great place to start.” She smiled at her daughter with affection.



“We’re not friends,” Taryn stated. “We’re just in a band together.” She continued to gaze placidly over the water, ignoring her mother’s concerned sigh. She wasn’t about to be guilt-tripped or bullied into making friends with the New Kid just because, and her circle of acquaintances was full enough.



“I’ll always treasure the best friend I had in high school.” Cheryl proceeded carefully. “We did everything together, and it was so nice having someone I could talk to about anything. I wish you had someone like that in your life. I never understood your reluctance have a close girlfriend, and I’m absolutely not counting those airheads you hang out with.” Taryn stifled a chuckle at her mother’s description of Candace and the others. Cheryl’d disapproved of them on first sight. “I just don’t know,” Cheryl continued, her voice softening, “why you’re so…afraid. It makes me worry about you sometimes.”



Taryn shrugged and leaned over to flick the water with a fingertip. She loved talking with her mother, and they talked about almost everything, but it was conversations like these that made her unwilling to form close friendships with girls. Guys never wanted to talk about emotional things. “I’m not afraid to make friends. I just…I have enough friends. I have you too,” she added.



“I’m flattered,” Cheryl said, her voice lace with sarcasm, though in truth they both knew that she was flattered. “I would like to now use my special privilege to ask how things are going with TJ.”



“Alright, I guess.”



“‘Alright I guess’. Doesn’t sound very exciting,” Cheryl observed.



“You know, it’s the same as always. It’s…just hanging out.”



“No great romance? No great passion?” she pressed.



Taryn looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Privilege in danger of being revoked,” she warned.



Cheryl rolled her eyes. “I’m not asking for details. I’m not, in fact, even asking about that. I meant emotionally.” She observed as Taryn shifted around as if trying to escape the question without actually moving from her seat.



“It’s not love,” she finally said. “It’s not much different from my other relationships. He’s basically like a friend that I-“ She stopped; it was not her intention, no matter how much it seemed to want to come up, to talk about her sex life with her mother.



Cheryl nodded in understanding, and patted Taryn’s leg in sympathy. “Give it time. So he’s not your first great love affair. You’re only 17. You have plenty of time for the right person to come along.”



Taryn smiled weakly. She wished she believed it. She’d started going out on dates when she was 15, and ever since had been waiting for the landmark moments she’d been told existed; by her friends, movies, books. At every first kiss she’d waited for that tingle, that quickening heartbeat, that swooning feeling. It was still nonexistent in her experience, and it worried her.



Cheryl read her daughter’s face like a pro, and decided to take swift action to stave off the sadness she could see building there. “I have a vision in my head.” She paused and waited for Taryn to look at her. When she’d gotten her response, she continued. “A vision of two soft, warm, chewy chocolate chip cookies -big ones, I mean- with a large scoop of vanilla ice cream sandwiched---“



Taryn was up and running for the door before she could even finish, yelling, “I’ll start the car” as she went. Cheryl stood lazily, a triumphant smile on her face as she followed.

****************************



Krista wound her way through the crowded cafeteria. She clutched the strap of her backpack with both hands and concentrated on dodging the hurtling bodies of her classmates as they made their way to their tables, laden with trays. Her eyes swept over the throng of students. She wanted to make sure that she didn’t miss Taryn on her way to the courtyard. She had been looking forward to lunch period since she’d crawled out of bed that morning. She’d hummed to herself as she fixed two of everything, exhibiting a lot more energy than was customary for her in the early hours. She’d fixed two different kinds of sandwiches, two different drinks, two different bags of chips, and two different flavors of yogurt, trying to cover all her bases. She wanted to make a good impression on Taryn for what was their first ‘lunch date.’



She’d nearly reached the glass doors that led to the outdoor seating area when she spotted Taryn through a gap in the crowd. She appeared to be sitting alone at a table near the far wall. Trying to control the large smile that had formed on her face, she changed direction and headed towards her. As she neared the table, she saw that Taryn wasn’t alone after all; she was sitting with Candace, Shelley, and Meg. And, Krista noticed with dawning apprehension, she had a loaded lunch tray from which she was eating with no apparent problem.



I must have misunderstood, she thought miserably and stopped in her tracks. She was about to turn around and walk away, save herself some humiliation, but at that moment Taryn looked up and caught her eye.



“Hey!” she called, smiling, and waved a hand in invitation for Krista to join them.



Krista hesitated for a millisecond; her body was on the verge of running like hell, but her brain told her to be cool and continue over, pretend as if nothing was wrong. She put one foot in front of the other with effort, and closed the distance between herself and the table of girls.



“Hey,” she said in greeting, her eyes darting to the faces of the other girls. They were looking at her curiously, but not unkindly.



“I wondered if I would see you. Have a seat,” Taryn offered, gesturing to one of the empty chairs on the opposite side of the table. Krista sat down, placing her bag on the table in front of her.



“You guys remember Krista, right? From yesterday?” Taryn stressed her words, throwing her non-verbal friends a look.



“Oh yeah,” the one named Candace said, and smiled at her. The other two followed suit. Krista nodded her head at them with a small smile.



“So,” the one named Shelley said, turning back to the others, “I was sure he was going to deny it, and then I’d have him, right? Caught, red-handed. But he came clean!”



“No denial?”



“None.”



The conversation droned on around her as she listened on in silence. She was mortified. The fact that Taryn had absolutely no idea or remembrance of their discussion of yesterday stuck in her gut. She felt forgettable and small. Here she was, looking towards lunch as the highlight of her day, excited that someone as beautiful and popular as Taryn would want to spend time with her. She should have known better. She hadn’t actually answered Krista when asked if she was serious, and it was clear now that she hadn’t been. People like Taryn, she knew, said things they didn’t mean all the time. It appeared that their lunch yesterday was just a pity thing. Maybe Jay had asked her to do it. She pondered this possibility as she reached into her backpack to retrieve her lunch.



She ate her lunch and observed the people with whom she was sitting. Despite her disappointment and embarrassment at the situation, she couldn’t help but be fascinated by them. This was the table that she and her friends back home would watch, wondering what went on in that inner-circle. What did they talk about? She couldn’t wait to tell Diana that, for a day, she had been at that table.



Throughout the lunch period people stopped by to say hello to them, their gazes passing around the table until they reached Krista’s unfamiliar face, where they would pause uncertainly as if thinking What are you doing here? Krista grew increasingly uncomfortable under their eyes, until she felt she was on the edge of blurting out, “It’s a mistake! You’re right, I don’t belong here!”



Taryn watched the other girl shrink as people regarded her. Instead of introducing herself, Krista would look down at her food, across the cafeteria, at the floor, anywhere but at the person looking at her. On top of that, she’d not said a word the entire lunch period. Finally, Taryn decided to take matters into her own hands. When the next person stopped to say hello, Taryn said, “And this is Krista.”



Krista looked startled to hear her name. She stared at the boy she was introduced to, her eyes wide.



“Hey.”



“Hey,” she managed to choke out.



He spent a few minutes talking to Candace before he left, and from that point on whenever anyone stopped at the table, Taryn made sure to introduce them to Krista. She didn’t know what was going on, why Taryn was suddenly paying attention to her, but she went along with it, giving the best “Hey” she knew how.



At one such introduction the visitor, a baseball player named Parker, leaned over the table and shook Krista’s hand. “Nice to meet you,” he said, smiling at her.



“Nice to meet you,” she replied, a little taken aback at the multi-syllable exchange. He smiled at her again before leaving. Shelley turned to look at her, her expression unreadable.



“What?” Krista asked, unsure if she had done something wrong, broken some code of the cool circle that was unknown to her.



“Parker just flirted with you,” Shelley said, a little mystified.



Krista tried not to choke on her chip as she laughed, the notion that anyone would be interested her striking her as utterly ridiculous. “No he didn’t,” she assured her.



“Are you blind?” Meg joined in, and turned to Shelley to do a hammed up version of Krista and Parker’s handshake. “Nice to meet you,” she mimicked, dropping her voice and wiggling her eyebrows.



“Nice to meet you too,” Shelley answered, her voice sugar-coated, holding her hand limp in Meg’s “manly” grip.



Krista shook her head, confused by the conversation. There was no way this Parker guy had thought she was cute. He wouldn’t even remember her name. And wouldn’t they fall out if they knew that she didn’t care whether or not he liked her. She felt eyes on her, and looked at Taryn, who was watching her. She averted her eyes and concentrated on her meal.



Despite the sociological appeal of hanging out with the cool kids, Krista was relieved when the bell finally rang. She gathered up her debris and stood, thanking the others for letting her sit with them. Under the pretense of being concerned about tardiness she turned and left quickly, maneuvering the lunchroom like a pro. They watched her go, confused by her sudden departure.



“She’s so weird,” Meg said finally.



Taryn shrugged. She could offer no rebuttal this time. Krista had been different; it was like two Kristas. It had taken time, but yesterday she’d eventually loosened up. Today they were suddenly back at square one. And what had been the deal with Parker? Why it was so hard for her to believe that Parker would be interested in her? The girl had some serious esteem issues, that was certain. She was a beautiful girl, but for some reason Krista didn’t seem to see it. Not that Taryn cared on any personal level. She barely knew the girl.



They picked up their trays and headed for the garbage. “Here you go, back to your home,” Candace said solemnly as she dumped the contents of her tray into the trash. “I really ought to start eating out on my lunch period.”



“You should just ask Krista to feed you. I swear, I don’t know how that girl stays so thin if she eats that much,” Shelley commented.



“What do you mean?” Taryn asked, her attention on Shelley. Her words had jogged some memory…



“I got a peek into her bag when she was taking her lunch out. She had like, a bag full of food. I think she had two sandwiches in there. I wonder if she eats the other one in class or something.”



Taryn froze, the act of discarding her tray fading into the background. “Whoops.”



Her friends looked at her in alarm. “What’s wrong?” Candace asked.



She looked at them, her face a grimace. “Nothing. I just remembered something.” She shook her head as she finished pitching her trash. They headed towards the exit, her friends looking at her with some concern, obviously wanting more details. They would not get any. She was not about to tell them that she had blown Krista off, albeit unintentionally. She felt like it would be embarrassing to the girl. “I’ll see you guys later,” she said, and walked off in the direction of Study Hall, leaving them standing at the doorway of the cafeteria.

Big Dummy,



Hey, I know I’ve reviewed once already (on this same page), but I thought that maybe if I gave more detailed feedback you’d be inspired to update sooner.... but you beat me to it, by the time i posted this you'd already updated so now i'm editing... anyway why not stroke that teeny tiny ego of yours a bit more- everyone loves getting praise, and you deserve it.



This is a wonderful story. I love how original it is, and how it seems that you’ve put a lot of time and effort into developing the plot. And your characters are amazing- they seem very real. I find that it’s easy to relate to Krista on so many levels, because she’s an ordinary person and that’s refreshing. She’s shy but with a hidden wild side (as we see when she dances around her room and jumps on the bed), and like Taryn I feel the need to get to know her more, find out just what makes her tick.



I don’t usually like POV very much, because it’s not always done very well. But don’t fret- I think you did an astounding job with it! The way you write it makes me feel the way Krista does. For instance, when she describes Taryn, and she thinks she’s sexy- I’m right there with her (by the way, your descriptive skills are soo good- I shivered when Krista shivered at the word ‘sexy’). I also like how as time goes by, we get more insights into her mind, and we’re starting to see a little more of Taryn’s own thoughts (I think you should have her POV at some point, I’d love to know what she’s thinking).



The drive-in scene was one that I found very interesting. I think it’s here that we start to see Taryn developing an interest in her. Especially this part: “The last glow of dusk and the constantly flickering light from the screen combined to exhibit the planes and angles of Krista’s face in startling detail.” It shows that she’s starting to pay attention to Krista, which is good. Have to say though, I went ‘grr’ at TJ because I want Taryn to be with Krista, but it’s really not his fault- he actually sounds like a really cool guy (and he’ll probably take their possible future relationship well- unlike Jay who I figure is going to get really mad at his sister).



I totally squee-ed at the sandwich scene. That was just so cute. How Taryn biting off a piece from where she had bitten was almost like kissing her- at that moment I wished they would kiss, but I know I’ll have to wait a while for that *pouts*. Actually though, silliness aside- I think your pacing is excellent, and though sometimes frustrating it is really necessary. Too many fics just jump right in there, but you’re really developing the plot and taking time for them to get to know each other (which is how it would be in real life).



So.. I think I’m almost done babbling. Just one more thing- I can’t wait until Taryn and Krista get together, a romantic scene between them would be really sexy!



in response to the lunch scene in this update- Aww, poor Krista.. Taryn was just absent-minded, but still- that would be embarrassing.



Anyway.. keep up the good work, and please please please update again soon! *begs*



~Kat

Edited by: Kathryn91628 at: 10/21/04 2:06 pm

So not liking "shallow, Barbie Taryn" but I can see where you're going with it. I feel really bad for Krista because I've been there; it sucks major tuchus. I too am waiting for the big romantic buildup (I must tell you, short updates are the bane of my existence...just as SQ & Patches, evil women that they are....) It's coming along so well and I can feel myself being pulled into the story. That being said, get crackin', missy! We Update Sluts like our fiction fresh

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

Great scenes.



Again, I think your structure and sense of delivery are really keen in this. Keep up the great work



It was interesting to learn a little about Taryn's actual social standing, and you illustrated it to us with a scene rather than exposition. That was a great choice. I mean, you could have summarized the whole lunch at the inner circle table in a paragraph or two, but you chose to put us there, make us hear them, see their reactions to each other, etc. Again, great choice. Scenes always convey emotion better than summary. I felt for our favorite bassist-- The way she'd avoid the eyes of others, looking down, away, anywhere. She's swallowing her pain, and still doubting herself, thinking that she had misunderstood Taryn... That's a deep, flawed, beautiful character that you're bringing to us.



Taryn's behavior is a little odd considering her attitude and attention from 24 hours prior. I was a bit shocked at her disregard and forgetfulness... Yeah, I read the pool scene-- great dialogue in that, BTW-- but even in that, Taryn's motives and complaints baffle me compared to her previous behavior. I'm an over-analyst by nature though, so pay me no mind...



Great update BD!



-SQ

Awesome updates . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

kathryn: Thanks to your kind words (and of others, of course), I might indulge in just a little ego stroking. Thanks for the detailed feedback. I especially appreciate that you shivered when Krista shivered at the word "sexy". That part kinda got to me as well, as I could remember being that age and just..lusting, and wanting to experience so much. So I'm glad that came across.



keili: Thanks for putting up with shallow Taryn. She doesn't mean any harm by it. She's trying.



SQ: I totally get that Taryn's actions came across as a little weird. It's a part that I've rewritten several times now and will no doubt continue to rewrite until it feels absolutely right to me. Taryn's transition from friend-skeptic to someone who thinks she just might enjoy having a friend (in Krista especially) is a hard one for me to get down without just throwing it out there in a few paragraphs. It only gets more awkward as the next few parts go on. I hope to have it gelled at some point, so that it doesn't seem as abrupt and out of character as it maybe does at the mo'. But, I completely understand why her actions would sit the wrong way with you. They do for me as well, although I understand why she acts as she does. I'm just having a hard time conveying it to you people, which is really the struggle with writing.



And...cause I like to update...



Title: Play It From the Heart

Author: Big Dummy

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: This is an original story. All characters belong to me. It depicts a romantic relationship betwen two high school girls. Nothing sexual, pure soppy romance. Think Diane Salvatore and Nancy Garden. But not as good. Any similarities between Krista and Taryn and any other characters/rl people is purely coincidental.

Copyright Stuff: I think it goes without saying, but please do not reproduce this piece of original fiction anywhere without my permission. It's my baby. Questions and requests can be directed to the email address in my profile.

Extra: My first time writing an original story, hopefully not my last. Also my first time posting any creative attempt here, or anywhere. It's not done yet, but it's at 177 pages so far, so by the time we get to where I stopped...well, hopefully it'll be done.



*******************************

Sliding her backpack across the kitchen counter, Krista yelled to see if anyone was home. Silence greeted her, and she made her way to the fridge to pick up a snack. She saw a note hanging from a refrigerator magnet, informing her that her father had gone into town to check out the space he was considering renting and would be back in time for dinner. She opened the refrigerator door and spent some time perusing its contents, most of her attention still on the weirdness of her day. She shook her head as she thought about the fiasco that was lunch. She’d had a harder time than usual maintaining her focus in her afternoon classes, instead spending that time berating herself for being stupid and cursing Taryn for being shallow. She just could not believe that she’d thought she had made a friend. She wondered what Taryn would have done if she’d realized that Krista had taken their lunch arrangement seriously. Would she have laughed at her? Krista cringed at the picture, and felt herself becoming angrier. Who did she think she was, anyway? Just because she was hotter than anyone Krista had ever known, that didn’t mean she could be heartless.



Choosing a snackpack of applesauce she grabbed her bag and headed for her room, musing over the rest of her day. As she passed through the halls later that afternoon, she’d found that every now and then someone would greet her. It had taken her a moment to realize that the ‘Hey Kristas’ were directed at her and not some other Krista, and that the smiles she saw tossed her way were not in fact for someone standing right behind her. She had responded to these unexpected greetings in her usual reserved manner, her brow furrowed in confusion. People who had never spoken to her before, people she’d been sure didn’t even know her name, had greeted her as if they were old friends. She had found herself ducking into the restroom several times to make sure she didn’t have a ‘Kick Me’ sign plastered on her back. In between classes she’d spent several minutes in front of the bathroom mirror, examining herself for any obvious changes. Assured that she was indeed the same Krista who had rolled out of her bed that morning, she had decided to try and continue her day as normally as possible.



She sank gratefully into her desk chair, intending to get online and chat with her friends. Maybe Diana would be online and she could tell her about that afternoon. Maybe she would work on a poem for the magazine Mrs. Taylor had mentioned, or see what kind of song she could wrangle out of the jumbled rantings she’d jotted down during her classes instead of taking notes. A nagging voice inside her head reminded her that she had homework, and that bad grades wouldn’t help her case when it came time to talk to her parents about playing out- as she knew she would have to eventually. With a sigh she sat at her desk and opened her bag, removing the necessary books. She could email after she did her work. The way she was feeling anyway, she might blow up someone’s screen with her words.



She reached for a pen from her drawer and noticed the CDs she’d gotten last night laying next to her monitor. The sight brought her back to Q, and Taryn. She knew (and hoped the others would realize it as well) that she would not be able to learn anything between last night’s meeting and tonight’s practice; hell, concentrating would be a challenge now. How could she face Taryn after this afternoon? She acknowledged that it would be good to have at least an idea about the music. She slipped the CD with the most recent date into her CD-ROM and turned her speakers on. She opened the first of her assignments, scanning the instructions while she waited for the first notes of the music to come. It was a fast song and her head bobbed automatically in time with the rhythm. She concentrated on the lyrics for a moment, her anger subsiding as she listened to Taryn’s voice. It was clearly her fault, she decided. Taryn was trying to be nice yesterday, and Krista’d ruined it, assuming things that weren’t true. Taryn had a group of friends that she actually liked hanging out with. Why would she add someone like Krista to the mix? Why would Krista even think that that was possible?



She told herself that it was better this way anyway. Taryn had flaws. She wasn’t perfect. She was your typical airheaded popular girl. That made it safer. It was much better to have a crush on someone who was only physically interesting than someone who turned out to be beautiful both inside and out. She smiled at her reasoning, the first smile she’d cracked since lunch, bent her head over her books and got to work.

*******************************



“Yeah, that sounds good. I haven’t been to their spoken word night in a while.” Taryn sipped her juice and listened to TJ, the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, her elbows leaning against the metal island in the middle of the kitchen. She glanced up as her mother came in and threw a handful of large envelopes across the island's surface at her. She picked them up and walked them to the recycling bin, barely sparing them a glance. “Mmhmm…okay…why don't you meet me a half hour before…alright then…bye.” She walked to the wall to hang the phone up, only then noticing her mother's disapproving look.



“Don't start,” she warned.



“You're not even going to open them?” her mother questioned. “Since when did you stop even opening them?”



“What's the point? I'm not going. At least not anytime soon.”



“Well, at least take the plastic windows out of them.”



Cheryl Hoffa sighed and unloosened the top button of her blouse, taking a seat on one of the island's high stools, and watched her daughter fish the offending envelopes back out. She hoped that her daughter found happiness and prosperity in music; the way she was blowing off the idea of going to college didn't leave much else for her. She opened her mouth to say as much when Jay burst into the kitchen, bringing an unpleasant odor with him. “Where have you been?” she inquired, waving her hand at him as if to ward off the smell.



“Playing ball,” he replied. He grabbed Taryn's juice out from under her and finished the glass in one swig.



“Hey, jackass!” she protested, smacking him in the arm.



“Taryn,” Cheryl admonished. To Jay she said, “I do hope you plan on showering. Soon.”



“Yeah, yeah.” He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some water from the filter in the sink. “What's for dinner tonight? Or where?”



“Mmm, it might just be you guys tonight,” she said with regret. “I didn't get off early to play, or eat even. I've got a lot of work to do on this case, so unless you want to order in again---”



“We'll go out,” he interrupted. “Carton's getting a little old.” He glanced at his sister for her agreement, which she gave with a shrug.



“We'll fight, I mean talk, about it later,” Taryn said, turning to leave.



“Okay. Maybe we can invite Krista,” Jay suggested as he went back to refill his water glass.



Taryn glanced at her brother. Was he still going after her, even after she had turned him down? She wished she could say something, but then she would have to admit that she’d eavesdropped on them. She tried the indirect approach.



“Did you ever ask her out?” She tried to sound nonchalant.



“Yeah, I did.”



“Oh, how did that go?” their mother asked as she sorted through the rest of the mail.



“She turned me down,” he admitted. “Something about being at a point in her life where she wasn’t dating.”



“That’s a line I would use,” Cheryl quipped before realizing how insensitive that might be. She looked at her son, ready to apologize, and stopped. He was smiling, unconcerned with her comment.



“I know, it sounds like such an old thing to say.” He gave her a look, and she accepted the barb good-naturedly. “But whatever. She said she wasn’t dating right now. Right now could be over at any time. Right now could end tomorrow. So…I’m biding my time.”



“That’s very mature of you Jay,” Cheryl said, the corners of her mouth twitching.



“He’s a ladies’ man,” Taryn deadpanned, although her stomach had churned a little at his statement. Krista’s tone hadn’t given her the impression that ‘right now’ was going to be over any time soon. She hoped he wasn’t setting himself up to be disappointed.



Jay flipped her off behind their mother’s back. “I’m gonna shower.”



“Thank God,” Taryn said.



“You wanna call her and ask? It might seem weird if I do it.”



“Um, okay. What’s the number?”



“Uh…I dunno,” he admitted. “Check information. Thanks.” With that he turned and left to take his shower. Taryn walked to the wall phone to make her call, ignoring her mother’s mumbled, “Or you could just go over there.” The operator gave her the number, and she jotted it down on the pad of paper they kept near the phone. She dialed, her fingers drumming on the wall as she listened to the rings. On the third ring it picked up, and a female voice said hello.



“Hi. Is Krista there?”



“Speaking,” she said.



Taryn laughed. “Wow, you sound different on the phone. This is Taryn.”



There was a pause, and then, “Hey.”



“Hey. Listen, Jay and I are going out to dinner and we wanted to know if you wanted to come.”



There another pause, this one longer, before Krista responded. “Actually, I’m having dinner with my parents tonight. Thanks anyway, though.”



“Oh. Okay. Well, we’ll see you later.”



“Yeah. Bye.”



“Bye.” Taryn hung up, her brow furrowed. Krista had seemed a little brusque. She wondered if everything was alright with her.



“Can she go?” Taryn looked up to find her mother watching her.



“Nope. Family time.” She set the phone back on the hook and walked over to her mother. “Not that I expected her to say yes anyway.”



“Why do you say that?”



“We had lunch together yesterday, and somehow we got to talking about how bad the food is---”



“You could always bring a lunch.”



“Not the point. Anyway, she shared her lunch with me, we were joking about having lunch together more often or something and like bringing each other lunches, or at least I was joking, and today she showed up with lunch for two, which I wasn’t expecting, so I already had my lunch. I didn’t even realize till after lunch. So, another meal invite from me probably didn’t go over so well.”



“She must’ve been pretty hurt.” Cheryl kept her tone neutral.



“Well, how was I supposed to- I mean, I thought we were joking. Or something. And then I forgot. But, I’m not a babysitter,” Taryn protested. “I’d just…forgotten. Or misunderstood. Or something. And anyway, it’s not like I completely screwed her. She sat with us.”



“Poor thing,” Cheryl joked, biting her lip at the look her daughter gave her. “I’m glad you’re trying to be welcoming and friendly. She must really be a nice girl. I know my words alone aren’t usually enough to convince you. You must be starting to genuinely like her,” she added, referring back to their poolside conversation.



The statement gave Taryn a moment of pause. She hadn’t given it too much thought, but she did like Krista. The little time they’d spent hanging out, one on one, had been fun- after Krista had relaxed, that is- which was unusual for her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d hung out with another girl and had genuinely enjoyed herself. She opened her mouth to say as much to her mother, but the words never came out. What came out instead was, “Whatever. See what happens when you try to be nice?”



“I think,” Cheryl started slowly, “that she probably feels like you’ve blown her off. For someone as shy as she seems, that’s a big deal.”



Taryn gave her mother a long look. “You met her once.”



“What can I say? I’m very intuitive.” She picked up her briefcase and started out of the kitchen.



“I didn’t say you were right,” Taryn called after her. She stood in the kitchen alone, pondering her mother’s words. She wondered if Krista liked spoken word.

Edited by: Big Dummy at: 10/23/04 4:20 am

Whoa....there are many MANY things about this update that hit really close.....it's easy to relate to Krista and her feelings...we've experienced that kind of rejection and it's real tempting to rationalize to make the hurt less. Hopefully, Taryn gets a grip and quits acting like uber-Buffy. You're making me glad I'm out of high school and wonder how I ever managed to survive that emotional hell. *wry smile* All of this to say, this hit me close and was an excellent update. A few grammar things here and there (i.e. "Krista'd" should just be Krista had or Krista should or Krista did) but overall your attempt at evoking mood and emotion is a success.

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

BD,



Another wonderful update! Yay!



It's amazing how you really stir my emotions with your writing. As Krista got mad at Taryn, i found myself agreeing with her. Then, when Taryn was talking to her mother about the whole lunch thing, i got pissed because she sounded like a jerk, and then an idea hit me.



She seems to be putting on this facade of ambivalence toward Krista (possibly as it's a habit for her to hide how she really feels). Because in her thoughts we see she really does like her (she says so herself). And when she was with Krista she seemed different and open to her, so hopefully she'll get past that i-don't-care attitude she pretends she has.



actually.. another thing, when Taryn said she was just joking about the whole bringing enough food for both of them- i had thought she was serious too- so it wasn't just Krista who thought wrong. (and after re-reading the conversation between Cheryl and Taryn, without reading the other parts, i realized i had been seeing it from Krista's point of view. then i looked at it from Taryn's, and i realized that she was probably very surprised that Krista took her seriously, so she's just defending herself, since it really wasn't her fault. she didn't tell her to bring lunch for them both, though it was implied that she wanted her to.)



god, i love this story so much. i keep anxiously awaiting the next update.. is there any possibility that you could make them longer? Because i wait so long, and then when i get to read it, i'm done in a few minutes.



cheers

~Kat

Edited by: Kathryn91628 at: 10/23/04 9:26 am

keili: Grammar faux pas duly noted. I made an attempt to go back and fix some of them. SQ also mentioned a dislike for contractions in narrative. It never bothered me in re-reading, I'll try to be more careful about that in the future.



kathryn: Really? Longer updates? I was wary of posting too much, just because once you hit that submit button and see it on the site, it just looks so...long, like I'm taking up humungous amounts of space. The next update will be longer then.

BD,



It depends on how many times you update within a certain period. Like if you're going to post twice in one day, or within two days, then they don't need to be as long. But recently there have been times when there's four days or more between updates. So that's when, in my opinion, it's a good idea to make them longer. But it's up to you though- it's just a request.



Thank you (in advance for making the next update longer)



~Kat

Edited by: Kathryn91628 at: 10/23/04 9:42 am

I vote for longer updates too. I love all the emotions that Taryn and Krista experience- reminds me of me. Wonderful update. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

Big updates. Small updates. I love them all, and I'll take anything you give us!

Galahad: What a strange person. French Dude: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Galahad: Is there someone else up their we could talk to? French Dude: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. - Monty Python

Great updates, thanks. Taryn hasn't been all that nice the last two chapters has she. Poor Krista, packing extra lunch. I think Tayn subconsciously realises she likes her quite a bit and this is how she's dealing at the moment until she sits down and really thinks about it. Bring back nice friendly Taryn soon, please.

Title: Play It From the Heart

Author: Big Dummy

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: This is an original story. All characters belong to me. It depicts a romantic relationship betwen two high school girls. Nothing sexual, pure soppy romance. Think Diane Salvatore and Nancy Garden. But not as good. Any similarities between Krista and Taryn and any other characters/rl people is purely coincidental.

Copyright Stuff: I think it goes without saying, but please do not reproduce this piece of original fiction anywhere without my permission. It's my baby. Questions and requests can be directed to the email address in my profile.

****************************************



Krista loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. Her parents were in the other room talking excitedly about the property deal her father had closed on earlier. The paper was signed and Bill Evans was the official owner of an old Laundromat that would soon become home to his very own computer business. The good news had facilitated a temporary truce in the Evans household.



She closed the dishwasher door, setting it to turn on later that night, and rejoined her parents in the living room where they lingered over their glasses of wine.



“What do you think, Button?” her father asked as she stopped to stand next to him. ”'Hoffa's Computer Haven: You Ask, We Build’?“



Krista rolled her eyes, smiling good-naturedly at her father. “I think you'd better hire someone to do your marketing for you,” she suggested.



Her mother nodded her head, laughing. “Computers you know. People you don't.”



“Hey!” he protested, feigning hurt.



Krista shifted on her feet, looking at her parents with a small grimace.



“Honey, why don't you sit down?” her mother suggested.



“I hate to break up the festivities but…I have practice.”



Her father laughed and waved his hand in her direction, smiling at his wife. “The life of a musician. Go on, Button.”



Krista laughed and uttered an embarrassed, “Daaaad” before slipping out the door.

**********************************************



Krista hadn't been quite sure what to expect from her first real practice with Q. She was nervous that they would somehow expect her to perform some miracle of time and learn all the songs on the CDs after all. She was relieved when Jay announced that they would be working on new material for a couple of weeks in order to give her some time to learn the old songs.



Jay settled behind his drum kit while Sergio and Krista plugged in. Taryn walked over to a corner where she retrieved a worn acoustic guitar. Krista looked on in confusion; she hadn't played guitar at the last rehearsal. Upon seeing her surprised expression, Taryn explained, “I don't play so well. I know some basic chords, and I use it to work out the basics of a song. Then I bring it here and Sergio works on making it sound better.”



True band rehearsal was different in so many ways from jazz band rehearsal; some of the differences were a welcome change to Krista while others were disconcerting. She was, of course, accustomed to sheet music, whereupon introducing a new piece the band would attempt to play through it once, sight-reading, before taking it a measure or stanza at a time. There was no sheet music in this rehearsal.



Sergio, Krista and Taryn tuned off each other while Jay adjusted his snare and symbols. When they were all in tune, Taryn stepped behind her mic and started to play. She looked at her hands as she played, most of her attention going to the chords she was strumming rather than her singing, and she rarely looked up from the strings. After the first verse and chorus, Jay and Sergio began to play along softly behind her, each getting a feel for the song, Sergio concentrating on getting the chords and changes right. Krista followed suit, putting form to the bass progression she could hear in her mind.



When Taryn had struck the last note on her guitar she paused for a moment before starting again. Krista glanced uncertainly at Sergio, who was standing nearest to her, and he sidled over and whispered, “By the end of practice you'll be sick of this song.” He grinned and moved back to his position, turning his attention back to playing.



Krista rolled her eyes at him. What did he think she was, a complete amateur? She was a veteran jazz band player; she knew all about running a song into the ground during rehearsals. She didn't think she would be sick of this song at the end of the night; it was beautiful, a melodic upbeat number. Besides which, she figured that if you got sick of a song after one rehearsal, it probably wasn't a good one to start with, and she didn't think that this was one of those songs.



She noticed that the others were getting a little louder as they gained confidence in their knowledge of the road map of the song, and she in turn picked up the volume on her part. By the time they started the number for the third time, Taryn slipped the acoustic over her head and set it down on the carpeted floor before returning to her microphone. Krista noticed the change in her body language now that she was free of the instrument. Whereas before Taryn had been a little reserved, almost cancelled out by the guitar, she was now expressive and focused on the vocals.



They stopped playing after the fourth run and began to dissect the song, pointing out areas for improvement or change. Jay experimented with the way he entered, as well as the breaks around the bridge. Sergio worked out chord substitutions that he thought would make the song more dynamic, and played around with pedal effects. From time to time he would check with Krista to see if her part clashed or if there was something she could do to accentuate chord changes even more, or he'd work with Taryn to see if something he'd come up with disrupted a vocal pattern. Krista even found herself working one on one with Taryn for a particular passage, and was surprised to find that they were able to work well together. She was even more surprised that she was able to work with Taryn without feeling any malice towards her…or anything else. It seemed that the lunch fiasco had done away with her crush.



The rehearsal continued in that vein for some time before Jay said, “Okay, let's run this through one more time and then do something else.” Sergio walked to a little boombox that was set in the corner and pushed a button. Krista turned a questioning glance to Jay, who responded, “We tape the last run in case one of us has a stroke of genius that we can't remember the next time we play it.” His tone indicated his thoughts on the likelihood of that happening.



Once they had recorded their rendition of Taryn's first song (which Krista thought sounded fairly good for a first go) Jay and Sergio unveiled a tune that they had been working on in their spare time, one that they hoped Taryn would put words to. It was edgier than what the band had just been practicing, more along the lines of the music she wrote, and Krista noted that Taryn seemed to be into it. Krista joined in, picking up on the tune easily, and Taryn danced around, “getting a feel for it,” she explained.



Time passed without notice as they worked through the rehearsal without a break until the lights began to flicker on and off. Krista looked up in alarm. “What the…?” she exclaimed.



The others laughed at her. “It's mom,” Taryn offered. “That's her signal that it’s time to pack it up.”



Krista blushed in embarrassment and nodded. “Oh.”



“Alright, guys, what's it gonna be?” Jay questioned, tapping his drumsticks with impatience.



“Do you know 'Bones'?” It took a moment for Krista to realize that Sergio had directed the question at her.



“What?”



“'Bones'. By Turpentine? Do you know how to play it?”



“Oh. Yeah, I love them,” she answered. Sergio turned to Jay, who tapped out a rapid count, and he and Sergio swung into the song. Krista realized what was going on and recomposed herself, catching up to the intro. They played the song all the way through, mimicking every nuance of the original without error, Taryn doing a good imitation of Stephen Redding's reedy voice. Krista couldn't remember when she'd had so much fun. She'd enjoyed the rest of the rehearsal, but it was a different feeling all together to be playing someone else's music, without the pressure of having to create something for it.



They crashed through the ending, executing a perfect crescendo until they were left hanging onto the second-to-last note, then slamming into that last beat with everything they had. The room erupted in smiles, each glowing from the musical night. There was no mistaking, for any of them, that they had a great configuration. They played well together, no doubt about it. There was a lot of excited chatter about the work they'd done that evening as instruments and equipment were put back in their proper places.



Once everything was securely packed up, Krista slung her gig bag onto her shoulder and waved at everyone. “Bye guys. See you tomorrow.” They bid her farewell and she started up the stairs.



She was almost to the front door when she heard her name called. She turned and saw Taryn approaching her.



“Hey,"Taryn said.



“Hey.”



“Um, do you know what spoken word is?” The words came out in a rush.



“Yeah,” Krista replied cautiously, taken aback by Taryn’s abrupt appearance. She tried to concentrate on Taryn's words and ignore the sudden increase in her pulse and warm flush of her skin as she registered the proximity of the other girl, and the setting: alone, in a dimly lit hall. So much for my crush being cured.



“Well, they have one every Friday night at this coffee shop in town, and this week someone really good is going to be there, Alice Pruitt, she's pretty well-known in the poetry circle, and TJ and I are going, and I was wondering if you'd want to come with us? That was a really long way of asking a simple question,” she noted, looking ill-at-ease.



Krista peered at her, trying to determine what was going on with this girl. She’d stood her up, sort’ve, for lunch, and now she was asking her out. Well, not ‘out’ out, but…what did she think she was, an idiot? Once was enough for her to learn, and she wasn’t going to be made a fool of again. “Uh, that sounds like it might be fun,” she said. She pressed her lips together, as if to stop the words that had already escaped. You asked for it, her inner voice said. “TJ won't mind if I tag along on your date?”



Taryn’s laugh was laced with nervousness, and she waved her hand dismissively. “Nah, we go on dates all the time. Besides, he'll understand. We need to get you out, show you around…your own private welcoming party.”



“Oh. Thanks. That's nice of you.” Krista struggled to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Charity. Of course, she thought bitterly.



“So yeah, if you want to go he's meeting me at the record store around 7:30. Can you do that?”



“Sure,” Krista shrugged. “Why not?”



“Alright then.” They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Krista turned again and headed for the door. “See ya',” she called over her shoulder.



“Yeah, see ya’,” Taryn answered.





Krista slipped through the door. Taryn waited until it was closed before she let out the deep breath that she hadn't been aware she was holding. It wasn't a big deal, really. She was just taking her mom’s advice and being friendly, but that had been so hard, and she wasn't sure why. It was weird. She wasn’t the kind of person to ramble on and get awkward. Maybe I’m picking it up from Krista, she thought with some amusement. She turned to go back down to the basement when she spied a figure standing at the top of the stairs. “Hey mom? Whatcha doing?” she asked, peering up at her.



Cheryl Hoffa had intended to go straight to bed after taking a shower, but something about the exchange she'd overheard while passing the stairs had caused her feet to slow until they weren't moving at all, until she found herself standing there in her bathrobe and eavesdropping. She couldn't explain that to her daughter.



“I was waiting to say goodnight to you,” she said instead.



“Oh.” Taryn seemed to accept that for what it was. “Well, goodnight.”



“Taryn,” she stopped her daughter from walking away. “I’m glad you took my words to heart.”



“Yeah, well…,” she looked around, lacking anything else to say.



Her mother regarded her for a long moment, a million thoughts reflected in her face, before she finally said, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”



“Goodnight, mom.” Taryn headed back to the basement, feeling a little disquieted. She was not alone in that feeling.

**************************



Krista went over her exchange with Taryn in her head as she walked home. It was eerily similar to the one she'd had with Jay the night before. Maybe it was an after-practice requirement no one had clued her in on, that someone had to ask her on a date every time. Next time it would be Sergio. She laughed out loud for a moment, picturing that conversation. Except, Taryn hadn't been asking her on a date, had she? Despite her active imagination, Taryn had been taking pity on a girl that she knew to have no social life outside of this band. She was being band sister, looking out for her, trying to help her fit in and feel comfortable. She probably didn't even want to ask her to go, given how nervous and weird she was about it. Maybe Jay had put her up to it, or their mother, like yesterday’s lunch. Or maybe she’d remembered lunch after all and had felt bad. Or maybe you’ve already said yes so you might as well stop thinking about it and see what happens and stop letting your overactive hormones run the show before you get your feelings hurt again. It was a sobering thought and as she neared her home she renewed her vow to get over her 'crush'. She stubbornly ignored the voice inside that told her it was already too late.

*****************************************

That week, people at school continued to greet Krista as if they knew her personally. Most people might not find it so disturbing to have strangers acknowledge them, but for Krista it was downright disturbing, and she was equally startled each time it happened. She began to be able to place names and faces, allowing her to respond in kind.



Even Mrs. Taylor, her English teacher, seemed to be in on the act. She’d approached Krista after class to encourage her to submit a creative writing piece for the student magazine, having been impressed by the results of her first essay assignment. “You have a fairly sophisticated writing style for a 10th grader,” she’d commented. “Do you write on your own time?”



At Krista’s admission that she wrote songs and poetry, Mrs. Taylor had enthusiastically informed her that she expected to receive something from Krista, reminding her that the deadline was November 2nd. Krista had assured her that she was indeed planning on submitting something.



Despite the new, albeit random, attention she was receiving, life was still as boring as it had been that first week. Every night she did her homework and emailed or IM’d with Diana and her other friends from home. Wednesday and Thursday afternoons she sat alone and ate her lunch, just as she had the entire first week. Some things changed, some stayed the same.





During the first week at Townshend she would sit at her tree and hope that Taryn and her friends would come outside just so she could have some unadulterated time to commit the other girl’s features to memory. A week later, she knew the mystery girl personally, had hung out with her, and was finding herself being recognized and acknowledged by an increasing number of people- and she was still sitting at her tree, alone. And what of the invitation to go to the spoken word show? Krista had resigned herself to the likelihood that that wasn’t happening after all. Taryn had been noticeably absent from her life since that night. She said hi to Krista in the halls, and they interacted during practice, but there had been no more attempts at eating lunch together.



Krista told herself that she was quite happy sitting alone and reading her book, thank you very much. And so what if the spoken word invitation would turn out to be another ‘lunch date’- or so she was telling herself Friday afternoon as she watched Taryn and her friends chatting by the courtyard wall. She sighed and averted her eyes. Clearly being in the band got her attention from everyone except Taryn. Your fault for saying yes, her brain reminded her. “Thanks,” she muttered out loud. She opened up her bag of carrot sticks and munched.



Down against the courtyard wall, Taryn was trying her best to concentrate on the conversation she was supposed to be involved in.



“So what all have you done?” Meg asked.



“Not much,” she answered, her attention only half on the conversation. She was trying hard not to look over at Krista, whom she had noticed was eating alone yet again. She felt a little guilty that she had not approached her much that week (try not at all) but she was wary of giving her the wrong impression again. She figured it was probably best to let Krista fly on her own for a bit and make some friends of her own. It was clear, from the solitary figure on the hill, how well that plan was going, but what else could she do? She’d done the good thing and had invited her along for spoken word. I’m not a babysitter, she thought for what felt like the hundredth time. And I don’t need any more friends.



“Taryn? Are you there?”



A hand waving in front of her face snapped her back to her friends, and she turned her head to concentrate on the people she was with. She hadn’t even been aware that she’d been staring at Krista. “Sorry. I was spacing. What were you saying?”



“I was telling you about Sarah asking me about making out,” Candace reminded her.



“Um…wait.” Taryn held up her hands, shaking her head in confusion. “Isn’t she 13?”



“That would be the point I’m making.”



“What’s got you so distracted?” Shelley asked, her eyebrows raised.



Fuck it. “I’ll be back, guys,” Taryn said, and walked away.



She trudged up the hill, and was almost on top of her before Krista looked up. She looked absolutely shocked to see her.



“Hey,” Taryn greeted, plopping down beside her. “Whatcha reading?”



“The Little Prince,” Krista replied, holding the book up so she could see the jacket.



Taryn nodded. “So, we’re still on for tonight, right?”



“I don’t know. Are we?”



There was something in her tone… it was rigid and cold, as it had been that night on the phone. She can’t still be mad at me. “Well…yeah. Unless you’ve changed your mind…”



“I just wasn’t sure…you hadn’t mentioned it.” There was a pause, and it appeared that Krista was considering whether or not to go, and Taryn was unsettled by that. It had never occurred to her that Krista might say no or change her mind. “Yeah. The record store, seven thirty.”



Taryn relaxed; she was surprised to realize that she would have been disappointed if Krista had cancelled. “Good,” she said, and meant it.



They sat silently, that thread of conversation exhausted. Krista played with the pages of her book, and Taryn searched for something else to talk about. Her friends were waiting for her, probably watching her as a matter of fact, but she found that she was reluctant to leave. “So…how’s your week been?”



“Um, fine I guess.”



“Good. Are you making friends, getting to know people?” She knew the answer to this obviously, but she hoped that Krista might giver her some insight as to why she was still sitting alone during lunch after two weeks.



“Yeah, actually. I know a lot of faces and names now.” She paused, as if considering whether to continue. Taryn nodded her head in encouragement. “Actually, the weirdest thing: people have been talking to me a lot lately.”



“What, like voices?” Taryn teased.



“No.” Krista laughed, and just like that she changed. Taryn watched the almost instant transformation, thinking that it was like magic, the way her body communicated her feelings so clearly. When she had approached her, Krista had been stiff and unbending; every angle of her body gave the impression that she was not feeling charitable towards her visitor. One little laugh and her body had relaxed, bending and curving and becoming open again. It was contagious, and Taryn let her body slide towards the ground until she was propped up on one elbow, her chin resting in her palm. Her friends were quite forgotten. “Lots of people have been talking to me, like saying hi, and that’s not normal. Not for me at least. I mean, people I’ve never spoken to before.”



“Huh,” Taryn grunted. She reached over and helped herself to a carrot stick, popping it into her mouth. “I bet I know why that is,” Taryn said mysteriously.



“Why?” Krista leaned forward.



“You’re in the band. And you sat at The Table. By now everyone ‘knows’ you. Or they think they do,” she added.



“Just like that, huh?” The look she gave Taryn was full of suspicion.



“Yup. It’s that easy. They don’t know anything else about you.”



“People are talking to me because I’m in your band? It’s really that important to them? You guys must be pretty big around here,” she commented.



“I’m sure that’s not the only reason they’re talking to you,” Taryn rushed to assure her. “But…it does make a difference. It’s not a huge town, and there aren’t a lot of ‘good’ bands around here. Plus, we play a lot of house parties, like we said. You definitely get known for that.”



Krista was silent again, digesting the information she was receiving. Taryn waited, watching her process. Krista was clearly gearing up to ask something, and from the look of concern on her face, it was big.



“How old are you and Jay?” she finally ventured. Taryn looked at her in surprise. She hadn’t known what to expect from the pensive girl, but this was out of the blue.



“I’m 17, Jay’s 16,” she answered, her tone conveying her bemusement. She watched the other girl as she stared off into space, lost in thought. She thought it was funny that Krista tuned out like that, as she had the other day at lunch, almost seeming to forget that she was around other people. She waved her hand in front of the girl’s face to bring her back, and, because it seemed appropriate, asked, “What about you?”



“16.”



“And why do you ask?”



“No reason. Just curious.” Krista tried to smile, and placed another carrot stick in her mouth.



“Just curious, huh?” Taryn reached over and helped herself to another as well. As she did, a thought dropped into her mind and she almost slapped her hand over her forehead in a classic gesture of ‘duh’. Of course, just last Monday she’d seemed uninterested, but maybe she was concerned about an age difference…



Pretending to be engrossed in her carrot stick, she asked, “Is this about Jay?”



Krista did a double take. Her eyes were wide and she covered her mouth to prevent chewed carrot from flying all over the place. “What?!”



Taryn faced her, confused by her reaction. “Are you asking about age cause…y’know, you might be wondering how old Jay is, and…” she trailed off as Krista shook her head.



“No, nothing to do with Jay,” she stated firmly. She took a deep breath and explained, “I was just curious cause, y’know, you guys had said the other night that you played at some clubs and I was wondering how exactly you got into clubs, y’know, being underage and all and I didn’t know if maybe there was some sort’ve law that you could get in if you were performing that I didn’t know about…” She stopped, not meeting Taryn’s eyes.



Taryn nodded slowly in understanding. “Ohhhh. That makes sense. We never even talked about it.”



Krista shrugged, not saying a word, but the communication was clear: ‘No you didn’t, and yeah you should’ve, but it’s okay.’ Taryn caught it and laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry about that. You wanna know how we get into clubs and stuff like that? Our mom.” Krista turned to look at her, confusion evident on her face. “Basically, we get to play at these clubs cause our mommy comes with us and sits there the whole time to claim complete responsibility for us.”



The look on Krista’s face was skeptical to say the least. “Your mom comes and sits there while you perform?”



Taryn nodded. “Like a groupie. That’s the only way owners would let us play. They liked our music, but there’re legal issues with letting under-aged kids into a bar.”



Krista searched Taryn’s face for any sign that she was playing with her. Taryn returned her gaze with her own steady one. “Yep, it’s pathetic, but you gotta do what you gotta do.”



“Wow,” Krista breathed. “Your mom is really cool.”



“She supports us. She wants us to get famous so she can retire early and mooch off of us. Besides, it’s not like we get that many club gigs. Probably even less this year without Carson’s brother helping us out.”



“I don’t know if my parents have that much support in them,” she admitted.



“Well, maybe we oughta have my mom talk to your folks about it, parent to parent,” she suggested. Krista’s raised eyebrows communicated her belief in the success of that plan. “I mean, whatever. We’ll work something out. Just stop stressing about it, okay?” She nudged Krista on the shoulder. Krista let out a small laugh before drifting away once again, her eyes becoming unfocused as she turned her attention inward. Alright, enough of that.



“I said stop stressing,” Taryn intoned in a mock fierce voice, and tapped her on her cheek with a carrot stick, causing the unaware girl to jump. “We’ll deal with it.” She leaned back against the tree and concentrated on her companion. “So, tell me more about where you used to live? Did you have a lot of friends back home?”



Krista shook her head, thrown by the abrupt change of topic. “Yeah, I did,” she answered slowly, almost carefully, her eyes intent on Taryn’s face, watching for signs of teasing



“So, tell me about them,” Taryn prompted. “Tell me the story of Krista.” Taryn met her eyes, open and waiting.



“It’s a long story.”



“Are you moving again soon?” Krista looked apprehensive, and Taryn leaned over and, with a small laugh, placed her hand on her knee for a moment. “Come on. Give. Mysterious is fine for everyone else, but I demand knowledge. I’m nosy like that. ”



She was rewarded when Krista started to slowly speak, her words coming in short, halting phrases, gathering speed when it became clear that Taryn was indeed paying attention to what she was saying, and even interested. By the time the bell rang (much too soon in both of their opinions), they were chatting and laughing as if they had known each other for years, sharing stories about their pasts and the people they knew.



Taryn found once again that her new bandmate was very interesting and charming, and fun to talk to. As she sat enjoying the conversation, she regretted avoided her that week. And why had she? Why was she so reluctant to build a friendship with this girl, who seemed very much in need of a friend? Her mom’s comments came back to haunt her, and she had to wonder herself: What was she afraid of? She made a vow to herself right there and then to give this new interaction a fair chance. It was one thing to eschew friendship on principle; it was something else all together to actively run from it. One thing Taryn did not consider herself to be was a coward.



The bell clanged, signaling the end of lunch, and they tore themselves away from the conversation to gather their things and head off to their respective classes. As they walked down the small hill towards the building, both were left with a feeling that they had crossed an unseen boundary.



Perhaps they would be friends after all.

Edited by: Big Dummy at: 10/25/04 5:15 pm

Wonderful update BD!



edited to add:

Ok, feedback time. I really love the interaction between Taryn and Krista in this update. They seem to be getting closer, which is good. I wonder, does Taryn realize how much she touches Krista? (clearly Krista doesn't). Sure they're subtle touches, like a light shove or touching her knee for a moment-but it's there. Maybe Taryn is just a very physical person- though i don't remember her touching anyone else.



I still think that at the moment she likes Krista on a subconcious level, because she doesn't appear to be that thrilled by her, yet she keeps having thoughts that she either brushes off, ignores, or is shocked/surprised by. Hopefully she'll become more concious of it soon.



I liked the scene where she was talking to her friends, trying not to stare at Krista but failing miserably. It really shows her growing interest, and the inner battle over if she should help Krista or let her fly solo is interesting as well. I like that she just said 'fuck it' and went to join her on the hill.



Thanks for the longer update! (Can't wait for more!)

~Kat

Edited by: Kathryn91628 at: 10/25/04 6:06 pm

Very nice. I like the emotional shifts and self-doubt that everyone in this is going through. You're walking a tightrope of omniscience, giving the readers knowledge that neither of the characters can be aware of directly, and that technique is making the progress of their relationship more meaningful. It's still an inconsistent POV, but I'll look past that because I've already nitpicked that, and... It's more forgivable due to your sense of pace and structure which are lending great flow to this story.



Your pace is great. There are few slow spots, and the progress of the main relationship is very well-structured. You have the whole 'one step forward, three steps back, then a leap forward, then a stumble, then an unsteady step...' shape to Taryn and Krista's interaction, and that's why readers are so glued-to, and rewarded-by this story. You don't 'give' anything to your characters... you make them 'earn' everything through pain and embarrassment, they misunderstand and delude themselves... That's why they're so real. That's why we feel for them. Well done!



I'm eagerly looking forward to more



-SQ

kathryn: no problem on the longer update. Thanks for reading and still being interested.



SQ: no worries on nitpicking. I read over the story after reading your comment about the inconsistent POV, and damned if you weren't right. I'd gone through everything I've written so far and reworked it so that I didn't leap from one head to another more than twice or so during a scene, or at least made the transition clear, and there it was, glaring at me in red neon. Just a little careless editing.



I've gone back and reworked it so that it (hopefully) exemplifies the kind of restraints I'm trying to put on myself as I continue. Tell me how it comes across (I assume you were mainly talking about the scene right after band rehearsal, in which we follow Krista through the rehearsal, suddenly find ourselves with Taryn as she follows K, then back with K as Taryn 'asks her out', and then back with T and her mom, and then back with K and her walk home).



Thanks again for pointing that out.

*sighs* i am so completely in love with your characters already! I just wanna invite them all round to my house for a party hahahha. (and their creator of course!)



Majorly well done! *claps* you're amazing!



- Bellie

Title: Play It From the Heart

Author: Big Dummy (aka Stevie)

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: This is an original story. All characters belong to me. It depicts a romantic relationship betwen two high school girls. Nothing sexual, pure soppy romance. Think Diane Salvatore and Nancy Garden. But not as good. Any similarities between Krista and Taryn and any other characters/rl people is purely coincidental.

Copyright Stuff: I think it goes without saying, but please do not reproduce this piece of original fiction anywhere without my permission. It's my baby. Questions and requests can be directed to the email address in my profile.

Extra: My first time writing an original story, hopefully not my last. Also my first time posting any creative attempt here, or anywhere. It's not done yet, but it's at 177 pages so far, so by the time we get to where I stopped...well, hopefully it'll be done.



*******************************

Cheryl Hoffa watched the water in her Jacuzzi rise, building towers of bubbles. She sprinkled some fragrant mixture she’d gotten from the local body store into her water, and the smell of chamomile and rose petals wafted around her. Soft music was coming from the house stereo system, and a glass of wine balanced on the rim of the Jacuzzi. Both of her children were going out for the night, and she was about to take a long, hot soak before going for a long-deserved night out with her girlfriends.



She jumped in surprise at the sound of her bedroom door banging open, and poked her head around the bathroom door to see who it was. Taryn was rummaging through her closet.



“What are you doing?” Cheryl questioned.



“I’m looking for those shoes you borrowed. I want to wear them tonight,” she replied without emerging.



“Look towards the back, I think I might have chucked them there.” She moved to sit on her bed and wait for her daughter to find the shoes so she could get back to her relaxing. “Hurry up. I have a bath waiting for me.”



Taryn looked at her watch. “It’s four o’clock.” Cheryl looked at her blankly. “Whatever.” Taryn dove back into the closet, muttering about the number of shoes and general crap her mother kept on the floor.



There was a knock on the door and Cheryl looked up to find her son standing in the doorway. “Hey, mom. Have you seen Taryn?” She tilted her head towards the closet. Jay walked up behind her.



“Hey, will you hurry up? I have stuff to do.”



“I’m coming,” she replied angrily. “If mom hadn’t lost my shoes…”



“Are you sure you need your car tonight?” he pleaded with his mother.



“Very,” she replied.



He turned back to his kneeling sister. “Hey, why’d you take Krista’s number down off the wall? I need to call her.”



“What for?”



“What do you mean, what for? Why do you care?”



Taryn emerged victorious with a pair of black clogs in her hands. To her mother she said, “We are going out and buying you your own tomorrow.” To her brother she replied, “Are you gonna ask her out again?”



“Maybe, maybe not.”



She surprised herself by blurting, “I’d lay off if I were you. Her parents are pretty strict.”



“What? How do you know?



“She told me about them. Anyway, maybe that has something to do with why she turned you down. Maybe her parents wouldn’t like it.” She had no reason to suppose such a thing, and she wished she could rewind about 10 seconds back and start the sentence over again. She didn’t want her brother to go out with Krista- for the band’s sake- but she hadn’t intended to make up such a blatant lie.



“When did you find this out?”



“Today at lunch.”



“You had lunch with her?”



“Yeah, I had lunch with her. It’s actually the second time.” She frowned, not sure why she’d chosen to throw that little factoid in. It was as if she were trying to make him mad or…jealous. She had to practically bite her tongue to keep from blurting out that Krista was going with her to the coffee house tonight, although for the life of her she couldn’t fathom why she felt the need to keep it secret.



“Are you guys actually becoming friends or something?” he asked with a knowing smirk.



Taryn shrugged and said, “Maybe.” She wasn’t about to attempt to explain her interaction with Krista to him.



He laughed and turned to their mother. “Check that out. When I told her I was inviting Krista to rehearsal she was all like, ‘I’m not going to do any girlie bonding’ and stuff, and now,” he turned and smirked at Taryn, “you’re having lunch with her. So much for Ms. Hardass.”



Cheryl’s response of, “I didn’t even think you two remembered I was in the room” was drowned out by Taryn’s sharp “Screw you, Jay.” Her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. She had been an ass about a new girl joining the group, envisioning some high-maintenance giggly twit. “And look, it’s probably better that you leave it alone. We don’t want any weirdness in the group.”



Jay laughed and headed for the door. “You’re the only weirdness in the group. I'm going to start the car. Be down in two minutes or you’re catching the bus.” With that he left.



Taryn stood silently, tapping the soles of the retrieved shoes together. She appeared to be lost in thought. Cheryl reached over and tentatively touched Taryn's arm to remind her of her presence. Taryn started, then grinned.



“Your son really pisses me off sometimes.”



“So I see. But did I hear correctly? Might you actually have a new friend?”



Taryn rolled her eyes. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it. We had lunch today and talked and…”she shrugged.



She glanced around the room, knowing that her mother was watching her. “Anyway,” she continued, “before I forget…what I told Jay about her parents? I need your help with it. I get the feeling that her parents are kinda strict, and it might be a little bit of a problem if we’re able to line-up any club gigs this year. So maybe, in keeping with your philosophy of supporting your children’s dreams, you might be convinced to have a chat with said parents.” She stopped and caught her breath, a pleading expression on her face.



Cheryl laughed and said, “You want me to talk to her parents?” Taryn nodded. “Leave that number by the phone. I'll call Krista’s parents and invite them over for dinner tomorrow night. If they’re like me they’ll probably love the opportunity to get to know their daughter’s friend’s parent. I'm not, however, going to try and convince them of anything; how they choose to raise their child is their business.”



“Thanks mom,” Taryn smiled. “Hopefully it'll help.” She turned to leave. “I’d better go before Jay leaves me. I’m already late.”



“Have a good night.”



“You too.” Taryn turned and left, her footsteps receding down the stairs. Cheryl waited for the thump of the front door closing, and returned to pampering herself.

**********************************************



“Hello?”



“Hi, Mrs. Joyner.”



“Krista, how nice to hear from you,” Diana’s mom gushed. She queried Krista on her new life, and Krista filled her in on everything she wanted to know. Mrs. Joyner had been like a second mom to her, just as Krista’s own mom had been to Diana.



It was only after Mrs. Joyner had gotten her fill of information that she went to get Diana. Krista nestled herself into the window seat and gazed at the expanse of houses on the next block. She paused as her eyes passed over the Hoffa House, lingering over the window that she now knew belonged to Taryn's room. She contemplated the drawn curtains, wondering if Taryn had ever gazed across their yards into her window. As soon as the thought had formed in her mind it struck her as so ludicrous she laughed out loud.



“What's so funny?” Diana's voice came across the line, startling her out of her reverie.



“I totally spaced that I was on the phone,” she half-explained to Diana. “Just thinking stupid stuff. Hi.”



“Hi yourself. You're early,” Diana noted, her voice curious.



“I've got those plans tonight that I emailed you about.” Krista had deliberately withheld details when she’d emailed Diana, knowing it would drive her crazy, and she so loved to tease her.



“Right, the Plans. What the hell are the Plans?” she queried, her voice going up an octave. “Like the date kind?”



“No,” Krista laughed, “not the date kind. The hanging out kind. It's kind of weird.” She reviewed her week, filling in details she might have left out in her messages, concluding with that day’s lunch with Taryn.



“Wow. That’s a lot of happenings for one week. And after all that you’re still going to go on a date with her and her boyfriend? I don’t know, Kris. She sounds kinda …not on the level.” Diana made a tsking noise.



“I can see why you’d say that, but seriously, she was really nice today.” She smiled to herself, replaying the interaction she had had with Taryn. Just when I write her off as some Barbie airhead, she turns around and shows me her good side. “And so far her and Jay are the only people I know around here, y'know. So I’m not going to turn down opportunities to go out and do things. Although, I shouldn't complain about not having a social life. I can barely keep up with things as it is.”



“Still rough going?” she asked, referring to an email Krista had sent her earlier in the week.



“Yeah. I think it might be just a little harder balancing all this stuff than I thought. I sucked in jazz rehearsal today cause I haven't been practicing as much as I should, and we’re moving pretty quickly through the music. We’ve got a performance in October” Krista sighed. She had decided on her bike ride home that she really needed to set some sort of schedule and stick to it if she was going to make it through the school year. She had vowed to herself to set some time aside Sunday for serious studying and practicing. “Anyway, it's nice to have somebody to hang out with.”



“But isn't it weird,” Diana ventured hesitantly, “going on a date with your crush and her boyfriend? Why would you do that to yourself?”



Krista stopped and thought about it. She knew Diana had a point- it was one she had made to herself on several times that evening. She spoke after a moment. “Well…I think I have to just get over it. And I have started to get over it,” she stressed, aware that she was also trying to convince herself. “I mean, I wish you could meet her, Diana. I wish you could have heard the conversation we had today. She's so cool, she's so talented, and…I guess I'd be psyched just to be friends with her. I can live with that.”



“Like you did with me,” she teased.



“Diana,” she groaned with embarrassment.



“Well, this is the same kind of situation we had. Eventually. Although it took you a lot longer to get a crush on me. But,” she continued dramatically, “you were able to put those burning feelings aside to be my best friend.”



“Alright, alright, alright,” Krista said hastily, laughing. “God! Remind me not to talk to you about this again. Ever!”



“No, no, I'm kidding. I’m just jealous. I want to know what's going on. I want the latest scoop on your hot new crush, no matter what.”



“What about you?” Krista asked, trying to change the subject. “You made any progress with Ryan?”



“Well, now that you ask…” Krista leaned back and listened to Diana regale her with tales of her love life. When Krista left Staughton, Diana had been angling to get Ryan Crawford, centerfielder for their high school baseball team and much sought after junior, to ask her out.



They spent another hour chatting and catching up on the general happenings in Staughton and mutually complaining about their lives before Diana announced that she had to go. “I'm meeting the guys at Dooley's,” she said, referring to the diner they all frequented--or used to frequent.



“Ok,” Krista softly replied, feeling another twinge of sadness. “Why is it that I only ever really miss Staughton after I talk to you?”



“Oh come on, what's to miss really? You certainly never got anywhere near as much action and drama here as you're getting now,” she teased. “Speaking of, good luck on your sort've date later. And why don't you go back to that bookstore and see if there're some youth groups or something you can join?”



“Whatever, Diana,” Krista replied good-naturedly. It was so like Diana to be thinking of solutions for her. They ended the call with the usual promises to stay in touch via email and IM during the week, and another phone date next Friday.



Krista spent the hours leading up to the spoken word event in a state of agitation. She attempted to divert her mind, listening to music and working on lyrics of her own, to no avail. Her thoughts would return, unbidden, to the upcoming evening. She was well aware that it wasn’t a date, but she still worried about her appearance. No doubt the coffee shop would be full of older people, and she didn't want to embarrass Taryn by looking like a child.



She was surprised to feel relieved when her parents came home. She threw down the 40th shirt she'd tried on and went downstairs to lose herself in the bustle. They were excitedly preparing for a night out in celebration of her father's real estate purchase. She sat and watched her mom try on dresses and her dad sort through his ties until she was warned to be ready in 10 minutes if she wanted a ride to the record store. She darted upstairs and made a hasty decision on a shirt, ran a brush through her hair, and was waiting by the door when her parents descended the stairs. They were getting ready to head out the door when the phone rang.



“Hold on,” her mother said to them as she hurried over to the phone. “Hello?…Oh, hello…Uh-huh…Well, I think that’s a great idea. We were thinking the same thing…” Krista half-listened to her mother's part of the conversation until she heard her say, “Great. See you tomorrow night.”



“Who was that?” Krista inquired as they headed to the car.

       

“Your friends' mother. She invited us to dinner tomorrow night.”

       

Krista stopped in her tracks. “What?”



“Yeah. She called and suggested we all get together. Isn’t that nice of her?”



Krista spent the car ride fielding questions from her mother in preparation for the Saturday night dinner, and asking questions of her own. She couldn’t imagine that Taryn had said anything to her mother about their talk, but then why would Mrs. Hoffa call out of the blue like that? She made sure to tell her parents that Mrs. Hoffa was widowed, feeling a little traitorous to Taryn as she did so, but she wanted to make sure that no one introduced an awkward topic of conversation.



They pulled up in front of the music store and Krista got out and bade her parents to have a good time at dinner, with the assurance that she would be home promptly at 11pm. She stood on the sidewalk waiting for them to drive away, while her father idled the car waiting for her to go into the record store. Krista tried to wave them away, at first casually and then with more fervor as they appeared to be intent on staying. Finally her father leveled a knowing grin at her, and put the car into drive.



“What are you doing?” his wife questioned.



“Our little girl has gotten to the stage where it's embarrassing to be seen with her parents,” he pointed out, and with a final wave they drove off.



Krista shook her head and waited for them to turn the corner before she turned away from the street. With a quick glance at the windows to make sure Taryn hadn't seen her, she hurried a few doors down and ducked into the gay bookstore.



A different woman greeted her this time as she passed by the counter. She politely declined the woman's offer of help and ambled around the store, browsing with a casual air while she tried to locate a bulletin board of some kind. She found it next to the door that led to the restroom. She scanned the various posters and flyers looking for some notice of a gay youth group in town, but after peeling back layer upon layer of old paper, she was disappointed. The nearest gay youth group was in Phoenix. Sighing, she turned and left with a small goodbye to the clerk. She didn't know why she'd even listened to Diana. Alexander wasn't tiny, but it was certainly no metropolis. The odds of there even being enough gay kids around to organize were pretty slim.



She stopped at the door of the record store and brushed a nervous hand through her hair and straightened her t-shirt. With a bracing breath she pushed open the door and stepped in.



“Krista!” Taryn stepped out from behind the counter and walked towards her, smiling. “Hey.”



“Hey,” Krista replied, looking around. Taryn looked beautiful as always, and she found that she needed a few seconds to regain her composure.



“Welcome back to my world.” Taryn grabbed her arm and dragged her to the counter, where she had been chatting with two other employees. “Guys, this is Krista, the bassist I was telling you about. Krista, this is Jared and Marshall, my co-workers.”



They exchanged greetings. Krista felt a little overwhelmed; the music was loud, Taryn's grip on her arm was distracting, and she was being introduced to two people who looked like they'd never experienced an uncool moment in their lives. Jared had the face of someone who would be working in record stores all of their lives, with precious little flesh that was free of metal. Marshall was clearly less of an adventure-seeker, or maybe more future-minded. He had the thin, coifed look of a model, his long dreadlocks neatly arranged and several silver hoops adorning his ears. He reached over the counter to shake her hand and she noticed a thin bracelet tattooed on his wrist when his shirtsleeve rode up.



A boy with a skateboard tucked under his arm approached the counter and asked to see the patches in the display case at the other end. Jared motioned for the kid to meet him there and turned to follow. “Another 'Corpus' patch,” he threw over his shoulders to the girls as he departed.



Laughing, Taryn released Krista's arm and leaned against the counter. "We have a running pool on how many of those we'll sell now that they've gone commercial."



Krista nodded in understanding. The band had been all over the radio and were the new hip thing among the teenage rock set.



Taryn glanced at her watch. “TJ should be here soon,” she commented.



“Then you'd better finish that order,” Marshall said pointedly. “I agreed to cover your floor shift. I'm no paper-pusher.” He picked up a magazine. “Coming in late, leaving early. Must be nice,” he muttered.



Taryn shot him an exasperated look. “I could have had it done by now if I wasn’t spending all night bullshitting with you.” She picked up an abandoned pen that was lying on the counter and threw it at him. She turned to Krista and said apologetically, “Sorry, I have to finish this up before I leave. It'll only take me a few. You can, y'know…” She flicked a hand out towards the store. “You'll get a discount.”



“Okay. Thanks.” Krista wasn't sure what else to say; she wanted to ask Taryn about the phone call but didn’t think that now was the time, so she shrugged and walked out into the aisles. She probably could find something she wanted, and there were worse ways to kill time. At least this way she wouldn't have to make small talk with Marshall, no matter that he seemed safer than Jared.



She stopped at a rack with compilation CDs and thumbed through them at random. She felt rather than saw Taryn breeze by her on her way to the back with a “Be back soon.” Almost against her will she looked up to follow her progress until she disappeared behind a door marked 'Employees Only.' She turned back to the rack, with a slight shake of her head, and noticed Marshall looking at her. She averted her gaze and pretended to concentrate on the music in front of her, embarrassed at being caught. She berated herself for being so obvious, even as she acknowledged that there was something about Taryn that was impossible to ignore.



She had only been browsing for a few minutes when she sensed someone standing next to her and shifted over a bit without looking up. As she flipped through the endless titles in front of her, she noticed that the person next to her hadn't moved or picked up a single item. She grew uneasy and had just decided to go to another aisle all together when her peripheral vision caught sight of an arm reaching for a CD right next to her, and she recognized the tattoo. She glanced up at Marshall. I hope he's not going to make conversation, she thought.



He held the CD out for her inspection. “Have you heard of this guy?”



She politely accepted the CD and glanced at the cover. “No.”



“He's really good. One of Taryn's favorites. Local dude.”



“Oh.” She turned the CD over a few times in her hand, pretending to concentrate on the cover art. In truth she was unnerved by his unwanted attention.



In a perfect world, he would have miraculously disappeared by the time she'd looked up again, but the world was not perfect, as Krista well knew, and he was still standing there when she looked back up, smiling. Maybe he was trying to make a sale. Did record store clerks get commission?



“Maybe I'll try it out,” she offered, hoping that would be enough to send him away.



“Taryn's got a copy behind the counter. You can listen to it, see what you think,” he said, and before she could get a word out he'd started back towards the front of the store. She stood uncertainly, not quit clear on what had just transpired, until he turned around and motioned for her to follow him. Great, she thought as she made her way to the counter, I'm stuck in a sales pitch. She stopped in front of the counter, intending to stand there and wait for it all to be over, but Marshall had other ideas. One hand fiddling with the stereo behind him, he waved the other hand at her. Krista sighed and walked around the counter and up a small step to stand right beside him. She gazed out at the rest of the store while he set up the CD. Jared talking on the phone at the other end, unfazed by her intrusion into the sacred employee space; a few people milling about the store. No Taryn in sight.



“Okay, here we go.” Marshall turned to face the stereo, leaning with his back against the counter. Krista resigned herself and mimicked his position. She jumped as the music came out at full volume, whirling to look at Marshall. His face was the picture of glee; he smiled widely at her, as he began to work his shoulders in time to the pulsing beat. She glanced around the store. No one seemed to be fazed; Jared simply moved away from the wall speaker closest to him and continued to talk on the phone. She turned back to Marshall who was gearing himself up into a dance. She returned to leaning against the counter, her brow furrowed. The situation was definitely very weird. She felt like she was being given a test.



Marshall was in full throttle by now, and she found herself unable to not watch him. He moved with the ease of someone who danced all the time, and knew that they danced well. She caught herself moving her head in time to the music, a fast electronica song that she hadn't expected given the CD cover, and the fact that it was Taryn's favorite. Somehow she hadn't thought of her liking dance music.



Marshall made eye contact with her as he danced, the only indication that he even knew she was still there. She flashed him a small smile and turned her eyes to the stereo, concentrating on its LED lights and buttons for something to do. Her foot began to tap in time with her head. Marshall leant over to her and said something she couldn't make out over the music, and she indicated such with a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders. He danced over to the stereo and turned the volume down, then returned to her side.



“I said, what do you think?”



She hesitated. Her initial reaction had been to smile politely and tell him that it was okay, but she had to admit that the song was catchy, danceable, and beyond the repetitive thumpa-thumpa of the electronica she'd heard before.



“It's really good,” she admitted.



“Yeah.” He had slowed his movement, decreasing to a simple sway, still in time with the music, as he spoke. Krista looked away nervously, not sure where the conversation was going to lead next. She fervently wished that Taryn would return sooner rather than later. It had only been a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime as they stood there, Marshall swaying and she pretending to concentrate on the music.



Finally, he spoke again. “So, you're in Taryn's band?”



“Yeah.”



“Cool.” He nodded his head. “How long have you known her?”



“Not long,” she replied slowly. “Only about a week.” What was this guy's angle? Was he bringing Taryn up because she was the only common ground he had with a stranger, or was he harboring a crush on her too? She felt a jolt of jealousy as the thought came and went. He'd have more of a chance than she ever would.



“Oh. And your family just moved here, right?” He noticed the surprised look she gave him and smiled. “Taryn's talked about you some,” he explained.



Krista fought a smile as she answered. “Yeah, we moved here about a week ago.” Taryn was telling people about her? Taryn talked about her? Well.



“You're doing pretty well for yourself,” he noted. She gave him a questioning look. “You move to a new city and already you're friends with one of the coolest people around, and you're in her band. Not too shabby for the new kid.”



She was unsure of how to take that. She shrugged modestly and muttered something about not really being friends with Taryn, and how she was lucky.



“I mean, Taryn's gold in some circles,” he continued. “She's talented, really nice, generous…” Krista nodded her head in agreement to each point.”…and completely hot.”



She stopped mid-nod and looked at Marshall in surprise, doubting for a moment that she had heard him correctly. The look on his face proved to her that he had indeed said what she'd thought. “I guess so, I mean---” she started.



“What self-respecting lesbian wouldn't be into her?” He sighed and shook his head. “She's a dyke's dream come true.”



Every brain cell in Krista's head fired into action, scrambling to find some witty comeback or cool rejoinder. If any were found, they never made it to her mouth, agape as it was. Even if she had somehow been able to force words out and have them make sense, the flush she could feel crawling up her neck would have given her away. His eyes, narrowed as he smirked at her, bore into her own, wide and unblinking. She glanced around wildly, frantic that someone might have heard.



He reached a hand towards her, placating, when he registered her shock. It was very clear to him that she wasn't necessarily “open” about her sexuality. He feared the girl might just pass out. “It's okay, nobody can hear me over the music,” he assured her.



His words slowly sunk in. No one would have heard him; they could barely hear each other, standing two feet apart. Her reaction would be what alerted someone that something amiss was going on she realized, and composed herself as best as she could. Marshall knew. The question was, how? What had she done?



“Um…” she started, but found that words were still difficult to come by. Somehow, even though he knew, saying it out loud seemed to make it worse.



“Sorry,” he said, his face contrite. “I didn't realize it would freak you out. I didn't know you weren't…”



“I just…” she shook her head. “How?”



“Did I know?” He leaned over conspiratorially and winked. “Takes one to know one.”



In the backroom, Taryn slammed her hand on the desk, muttering, “Fuck!” She resisted an almost uncontrollable urge to kick the fax machine, and settled for pushing the cancel button with undue force. “Always when I'm trying to get out of here.” She dialed again, letting out a breath when the transmission started to go through. Throwing herself back in her chair to wait for it to finish, she glanced at the tiny black and white monitor that sat atop a file cabinet and served as their “surveillance” equipment. Guaranteed to catch anyone who was trying to rob the register or steal a cheap patch from the counter, since that was the only place the store camera was aimed. She watched Marshall and Krista carrying on a silent conversation; Marshall seemed to be whispering something, and Krista was laughing. Taryn leaned forward in her seat, dying to know what they were saying. She had been sure that Krista would be off in some corner of the store alone. She was surprised to see that not only were she and Marshall talking, but that they appeared to be getting along well. Maybe there was a double date in the future. That wouldn’t sit so well with Jay though. She frowned, remembering their conversation on the way to the store. He’d spent the ride trying to convince her to use her budding friendship with Krista to help him get an inside scoop on her. She loved her brother, but the conversation had made her actually look at him as a guy. Overall a nice guy, but apparently still prone to the boneheaded maneuverings of his gender. She’d refused, sticking to her point about it being bad business for them as a group. Besides, she’d told him, if he wanted it so badly, he should put the work in himself. Of course, if she had her way, he’d just give up all together. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and turned her attention back to the fax machine.



“I only started working here two months ago,” Marshall was explaining back on the main floor, “but Taryn's cool as shit. I’m more into guys but chicks like her remind me why I’m bi.”



“Yeah, she, um…she's definitely cool.” Krista struggled to speak candidly with Marshall, but found it difficult still. He seemed to be at ease with discussing his sexuality, in blunt detail, with someone he'd only just met.



“So you have a crush on her,” he observed. “I saw the way you looked at her. I don't blame you. And you're going out with her and TJ tonight? Tragic.”



She narrowed her eyes at him. “No offense, but I don't know if I want to necessarily talk about this with you. I don't really know you.”



“Fair enough.” He was unperturbed, and turned a serious gaze on her. “Really, though…you're new to Alexander, right?” Krista nodded. “And I kinda get the feeling that you're new to some other things too?” She hesitated. This was getting personal. She studied his face and found no ill intent there, so she nodded again. “So, if you need to talk, or you want someone to help you figure some stuff out… I know it helped me a lot when I was coming out to have someone older and wiser to talk to. So, one out of two ain't bad.” He chuckled. “Just putting that out there. You could do worse.”



Krista nodded solemnly. “Thanks.”



“And I won't tell her about it,” he added.



Krista shook her head vigorously. “Please don't. You'd ruin my life.”



“I promise. I don't share stuff like that with just anyone. She doesn't even know that I’d be just as likely to date TJ as her,” he added with a wicked grin. “I mean, I told you cause, y'know, we're kindred. Gotta stick together.” He chucked her on her shoulder playfully causing her to smile despite herself. She was warming to him more now that she knew he wasn't out to date her or Taryn.



Marshall caught her eye and gestured over her shoulder with his chin. She turned around. Taryn was dancing her way across the room. Krista had forgotten that they were even playing music. The last few minutes had been so intense, and suddenly it was if someone had pressed the 'Play' button and life could resume again.



“TJ's almost late,” Taryn observed as she snapped her way to the counter.



“Not this time,” Marshall retorted and smiled at the door. “What's up, man?”



“Hey,” TJ greeted everyone as he came through the door. He and Marshall shared some version of a sacred manshake, a quick greeting to acknowledge Krista before ending at Taryn, throwing his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground.



“Put me down, oaf,” she protested half-heartedly, smiling the whole time. Krista tried not to let the sinking feeling in her stomach show on her face. She didn't dare look at Marshall.



“Ready to go?” TJ asked the girls.



“Yeah. Marshall, you all set?”



“Yup.”



“Keep Jared out of trouble,” she joked. They all turned to look at where Jared was still on the phone.



“Get out! I have work to do.” Marshall playfully shoved Krista towards the end of the counter. She took her cue and went to stand by TJ and Taryn, who were each standing with an arm around the other.



“Alright, see you tomorrow morning,” Taryn called as she steered TJ towards the door. Krista followed, feeling for all the world as if she didn't exist.



“Krista!” She turned and looked back at Marshall. He winked. “Call me sometime.” She smiled and headed out the door.

Edited by: Big Dummy at: 10/29/04 1:40 pm

BD,



I can't get enough of this story, i really can't. There were so many things i found interesting about this update in particular. Like Taryn's actions. She took down Krista's phone number from the wall- which i didn't really expect her to do but wasn't completely surprised by (by the way, where did she put it? in her room?) I liked this part especially:



It was as if she were trying to make him mad or…jealous. She had to practically bite her tongue to keep from blurting out that Krista was going with her to the coffee house tonight, although for the life of her she couldn’t fathom why she felt the need to keep it secret.



She seems so protective of Krista, how she tries to keep Jay away from her (at least in the romantic sense).. but it also seems like she does want to make him jealous. That's a rather interesting development. Also i like that she thinks 'with her' and not 'with her and TJ'- it doesn't seem like Taryn is all that interested in TJ, at least on a romantic level-which is definitely good for Krista.



I think the introduction of Marshall was a really great idea, we need to see more gay/bi characters, and having a gay guy is good too, since we already know in the future we'll have two lesbians. Plus it gives Krista someone to talk to about her crush (and as a bonus it's someone who knows Taryn). The way you wrote it he seemed like a very cool guy, and i can see him and Krista becoming good friends.



I'm looking foreword to the Spoken Word (we are going to get to read that scene, right- we're not just gonna hear about it from Krista's thoughts?). I think Krista's digging her own grave with it, considering that Taryn and TJ will probably be acting as if they're on a normal date, and it'll really affect her since she likes Taryn. Either that or TJ will notice something about the two of them. No matter what, i'm guessing it'll stir things up a bit. *rubs hands together* ooh i can't wait!



thank you for a wonderful update, and i hope that we'll get another one soon!



cheers

~Kat (i applaud your talent at writing)



edited to add: Yay! I'm the first to leave feedback again!

Edited by: Kathryn91628 at: 10/29/04 4:35 pm

I just wanted to say how much i'm really enjoying this fic. It's awesome! I can't get enough of it. I love how you write the characters and how they all interact with each other - obviously i love the Kris/Taryn thing. I espeically loved the bit with Marshall and Kris.... "Takes one to know one." Lol. I could picture her reaction, and i can't wait to see what happens next!



~ Jen

Helen - Oh please Nikki, be serious!

Nikki - I want to make love you to all night long... is that serious enough?

** Helen and Nikki in "Bad Girls" **

Awww Marshall..bless him . I'm really enjoying this story too..I love it. Wonderful update. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

Awesome. I bow to your sense of pacing and structure oh largest, dummiest one.



Again, Awesome!



-SQ

Excellent update. More and more surprises!



BV

It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.