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 Post subject: Miss Jessica's Wonderful World of Poetry
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:50 am 
There is peace within

When we realize

Our hearts are weeping

Not for everything we've done

But for everything we cannot change

& I cannot deny

The passionate longing

That resides within

I love her

In mind, body, and spirit

As opposed to the many men

I've left before

For we are all sexual beings

Prone to seek satisfaction in others

But for some

We are intrinsically

Needing comfort and completion

& for me it is only her

That is qualified

When you truly love someone

It is for that comfort and completion

In mind, body, and spirit

No matter the social stereotypes

Love is undeniable

No matter the package

The only true love

Ever known to me

Is love denied

& I cannot change societies mind

Anymore than i can change

My heart's desire.

~Miss Evanescent

Edited by: Miss Evanescent  at: 12/22/04 2:06 am


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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:29 pm 
"gasp" jessicas poems are up!! :banana :sheep :bounce :pinky



YAY YAY YAY!! "huggles naked under the sheets girl" I loved this poem...deep and with the feelings and MAN i want more!! "gets on hands and knees" PleASe OH please!!

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:07 am 
Great poem,thanks for sharing :read



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:04 am 
Thankyou both very much for your feedback :) *huggles rose* thankyou for letting me know my poem was up :) and thank you moderators for allowing me to post a lil early :)

2 very similar and incomplete poems

everything you say

is beautiful

and everything you are

is too

and i'll never

forget the way

you looked at me

as if to say

you are all

i'll ever need





you are beautiful

in everything

you say

you are beautiful

in every

little way

and everytime

i see your smile

i melt for

you again



My everything

Sometimes

when im alone

and feeling so lost

i remember

you

the everything in me

and i love you

more than mere words

can describe

you say all the things

i wanted

(needed) to hear

you are the person

ive always dreamed of

but i never knew

such perfection

could exist

until i found you

you are much more

than i ever expected

(deserved)

to find

and i have never

been so happy

so at peace

as i am with you

my forever

my everything

i love you

with everything i am

always



Daybreak

Everyday i wake

reluctant

to leave

the warm embrace

of a dream

you

are there

in the bittersweet

morning hours

i reach for you

but you are not

there...here

and just as i

feel your arms around me

the dream dissipates

tommorow has come

but i love you

there are my thoughts

everyday

as i wander

though the day

my mind still

reaching for you

until

everynite

i lay willingly

down

to once again

accept sleep

and melt into

your loving

embrace



It was like standing on an edge

with the wind knowing that if

i take one more step i will fall

sinking to the bottom before my

wings are spread to fly

not ready to let go yet

but soon it will be time to go

despite changes

instead of growth

i find today

the exquisite lonliness

i cannot yet discern

the knowledge

that lies in this

experienced time

it will all be new

in the mind

that has acquired

enough to know better

than to dwell on the past



furious hatred

i hate myself today

more than anything

more than anyone

i wish i was never born

dead anything to make this all go away

anything to make it stop



there is a pain

it wont stop

it doesnt end

throbbing in my brain

it feels like everything is consuming me

and im awake to feel every bite



Erised

everytime you look at me that way

i want you to touch me

and everytime you look at me

i want to make you scream

in a passionate fury

i want to be lost with you, in you

i want to give you multiple orgasms

on multiple occasions

i want to put my hands on

every inch of you

and make you mine with soft

sensual caresses and erotic use of my teeth

i want to touch you

i want to taste you

and i want you to ache for me

everytime you look at me



On relationships

I want you to love me

i want to forget you

hold you

comfort you

ignore you

i love you

i want nothing to do with you

i want to hang up on you

never see you again

but if u said you loved me

i would forget all the pain

and fall for you again

you manipulate me

you control me

and i cannot help

to love being caught

inside your grasp

i am delusional

for ever considering

loving you at all



Set fire to my idiot hypocrisy

All the time thats past

today i dont miss it

or you

hypocrisy the things

now that make me happy

but if things bring me

cloer to myself

after people have killed

me inside for so long

am i shallow to miss

the things and myself

and not the others?



But we are all hypocrites lately

and hypocrisy i personally find both

fascinating and revolting

but it is not for the situation itself

it is the lies in which most people

(hypocrites) try to shroud thier lives

at least i embracing the hypocrite in me

have never denied being anything other

than hypocritical. hypocrisy itself is not

our enemy nor are the hypocrites themselves

its the liars and denial infested dilletantes

and do no wrongers that give my kind

a bad name and no credibility

am i one of those hypocrites? for abhorring

thier dishonest hypocrisy

or have i become something far worse

can a self proclaimed hypocrite

really ever be held accountable

for thier hypocrisy? should the be?



In the end

pain makes the moment

i'd rather forget the past

but its all i have

left to cling to

i need the good

amongst all the not

to make this something

real to me

something i can live



And we walked. trudging

through snowy drifts

as the sky let loose its burdens

and the wieght of the world

fell to bury us in tears.



such a longing

is it real

kinda pretty

but everything beautiful

fades away



Whenever i see your name

there is a connection

between us and it

rips itself from my heart

leaving a sad, sticky and

gaping hole in my shirt



Pain like the massaging of flesh,

freshly torn from one's

own body. feeling the salt of my

fingers mix burning in the blood

the last hint of life leaving

the barren shell

crushing my fingers

into the oozing wound until

they wrap around the bone and

snap, like a twig,

the sole support

that kept my standing

so many times before.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:13 am 
:jaw :thud :shock



wow....wow...and some more wow...damn Jessica!!!! I loved "erised" (if that was the title) so damn...jeezus...im kinda speechless over here! These poems are so great! I can really understand them and feel them and they are just GREAT! I feel what you feel and just....wow....

"is dumbfounded" wow.....:sheep

:applause :eatme

again i give you many "huggles" and :jaw :jaw :jaw

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:16 am 
Wow,your poetry is great,great mixture of emotions in your writing :bow



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:21 am 


:bow :thud



Love them all! man you're great at writing poems! You gotta post some more, cos you can't stop now! Say you'll post more and soon?!



Quote:
i want to be lost with you, in you

i want to give you multiple orgasms

on multiple occasions




Wow, hasty words! bring it on! LOL



Keep it up!



Stace xXx

"Should have done something but i done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you....” -Blue and Yellow



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:14 pm 
Thankyou very much SJ :) teehee i am kinda emotional huh?

Stace: :) that was a very intense crush i had on someone...too bad i'll never actually get to do that to her ;)

Glad you liked it....i wasnt sure about the rating on it so i just went for R just to be very very safe LOL

Rose: *huggles* thankyou and i could say the same about your poetry :) yay feedback :bounce :pride :rofl



i think

i could be truly happy

if i never

saw your face again

never thought of

the good times

or remembered

what it felt like

to be understood

by you

everytime we touch

i love you

and everytime i miss you

i love you

but i would rather

never see you again

than have to say goodbye

everytime we part



Sometimes when I’m awake

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming

There’s so much here at stake

When every moment is just fleeting

Sometimes when I’m awake

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming



I love you

In every moment

I love you

In every way

And if I could

I would wipe those tears away

And never let you go

this is for all the times

you loved me

when love for me was gone

and all the times i never expected

to cry when i was happy



why cant i even love you?

and be happy on your arms

let the whole world fade away

and live forever in tonight

i tremble at your simple caresses

turn away at every kiss

too scared to look you in the eyes

yet i want tonight to last

i never had it so good

as i did when i was yours

but im too afraid of commitment

to let myself love you

i dream of what we could be

every night when im asleep

my mind knows what it wants

what im too stubborn to see

what we had was special

i hold it in my heart

every time i hear our song

i melt for you again

and im sorry for losing you

and all that ive done

but even when im home

its never home without you..



sunset in embrace

the wind blows a misplace hair across you eyes

i move to put it back and realize the imperfection is beautiful. a wild thread lost somewhere between inquisitive eyes and a strawberry smile. your profile is all i see as you gaze in wonderment at a disapearing sunset. slowly golden streams and pink glowing light traces around your features and passes through your eyes into mine. watching a tracing shadowy movements across your neck you eyes now entwine with mine sharing a penetrating gaze one in which i can see all the pain and sadness wash away. see your eyes regain a presence of everlasting hope. we watch as the last strands of orange disappear around moutain tops and fall asleep lost in eachother's arms and the promise of another day in love.



like a soft spoken butterfly

the wind in my hair

the friendships pass by and by

yet i still feel your stare

like scented flowers in winter

and a rose that is withered

petals long scattered

and a heart that is unheard

like satin in the breeze

your thought stabs my soul

you hold my eye as if to tease

but my heart youve already stole

like sweet dances in the moonlight

im reminded of days forgotten

when fun was endless night

and shoulds meant for weeping

like walks past the memory

love is once more though

and i finally begin to see

it was you ive always sought

yet like those summer days long ago

and whispers that still echo

lies that stack up in row

and wounds that never close

i know you cant see

that i still love you so

im not sorry for what it did to me

but i have to let you go



can forgive

all the times we've grown apart

and i believe

in forever day to day

and i know

that everything's ok

despite hard times

i can count on you until

fate takes one of us away

i still love you



im just here today

with nothing on my shoulders

and im thinking thats ok

cause im with you

the world is frozen

with a monotonous certainty

of explicit reality

and a future that hasnt quit

haunting its past

but when im holding you close

every movement sparkles

every moment shines

and it seems your touch would

stop...all...time

but for now

all alone

dreaming in reverse

and x2 fast forward

i think im going toward

and end to satisfy us all

cause when im with you

everthing is motion

time does not exist

its merely a toy

in the hands

of our love



intoxication

entracing touch

the perfect moment

to let go

consuming passion

delicately teasing

ultimately pleasing

of unitentional romance

and intoxicated permission

beyond thought

underlying attraction

with convience

enticing

poetry of desire

forbidden tempts

to lose control

be devoured

start something

intoxicated







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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:03 pm 


That was truly beautiful....never read anything that has made my knees go weak, absolutely astounding!



:thud :happycry :)



Stace xXx

"Should have done something but i done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you....” -Blue and Yellow



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 3:02 pm 
aww thankyou dont cry stace! *huggles* hehe i have so much to post...im just gonna post everytime i get fb until i run out :) i dont care

where i go

or what i do

as long as i

spend the rest of

my life with you



dont love me just because you can

love for me who i am

dont tempt me to sway

when your world wont stop spinning

or tease me gently

when everyone stops to stare

when nothing makes sense

i can feel you breathing

thats all it takes

to send me over the edge

the sensual caress

that lingers far to long

you feed me inspiration

beautiful endangerment

of a connetion simply twisted

and a longing

too deep to touch

the familiar gaze sends shivers

and i hide with feelings

so simply complex

i reflect in daydreams needing to be closer

to a truth that lies with every whisper



Desolation

Endless abandonment

Of love given and lost

The temporary securities

Leave permanent memories

And anxiety of fears

Too many to conquer

Alone















She is inspiration

Beautiful as the night

Elusive to the heart

Unreachable to the touch

She is the key

To misbegotten loneliness

Of desire unrelenting

That compels and misdirects

The innocent forgotten

She is the temptress

Of souls lacking

The creative ways of love

To captivate audiences

Of their own

Enthralling on the lies

Of the obvious

Shown in mysterious ways

She twists the reader

Into death

She is inspiration

Beautiful as the night

But as night is beautiful so is day

The twined uncertainties

Split personalities

Reflecting the falsehood

Of a stone wall of lies

And an inner core of deception

She misleads

With one eye open

Half dreaming awake

While watching her

Puppets drag along

Dying of inspiration given

But wasted on

Their wooden minds

They rot in her presence

Are breathless in her absence

She is inspiration

Beautiful as the night

Deadly as the day…













The key is the mistress

Of certain realities

The inability

To be touched

By those who seek her

For they being only broken

Are beneath the excellence

Demanded by time

Where time does not exist

For those not in her favor

Or simply those unimportant

Her world was not made

For adoration nor for

any to follow

The only true match for this key

exists in the perfect lock

that is only perfection

in the dark beautiful eyes

of inspiration.





with attitude she arises

from forgotten ashes

wielding the power

of uncontrollable desire

and unstoppable strength

she screams for love lost

of the sacrifice given

to recieve nothing

she could not save her

and all the ashes in the world

will not bring her back

nor all the pain, tears and memories

death consumed her in passing

death consumed them both

one in body and one in life

and she remembers

how it felt to be touched

by love...and to let go....













Bitter sweet

Unwanted sympathy

An empty entity

Of forgotten

And misused

words

That rot

With certain casualties

And a life

Wasted on the tide

A sea of floating lies

Misconceptions bled

Into far worse beings

That rip into the flesh

Of innocence lost

And bring a message

Of infinite doom…

Many mornings cried and wept

for true love passed on

memories are sorrowfully kept

until released and forever gone

departed with tears

flowing from eyes

that flicker with fears

of a haunting demise

oh love so departedly lost

where is the soul i knew?

buried somewhere in the frost

still as life passes through

sleeping beauty so very still

as ice in deep december

no fate to longer fill

only to remember

frozen sweet destiny

of blood sadly shed

Lost to eternity

oh so sorrowfully fled

from a life so alive

maliciously taken

leaving me aside

and forsaken

fear is the symbol

of lives limited

hearts that tremble

and souls riveted

stationary

frozen with trepidation

contradictory

of their said limitation

liars

captives in themselves

trials

memories stored upon the shelves

resolution

when fear is just a word

disallusioned

inner voices never heard

reality

fear inside ourselves

triviality

compared to strength inside ourselves

there is only fear

of self limitation

keeping me here

regardless of deprivation

the choices we make

the boundary set

sacrifices we take

to get what we get...





YOU

You are the one with rippled emotion waves of tears lapping inside your eyes. no emotion sees through when dreams die alone. i see what the others do not, i see the sorrowful melancholy wash away at the shores of your mind. it wears upon the sanity and the soul leaving you a hollow smiling skull, bone isnt much to sure for years of life it is time to reconsile with demons of the past. time to confront the uncomfortable and survive the unsurvivable.i dont think i am capable of making any more or less sense...

conversations had by journal. silent broodings and inner turmoil...not shown here but certainly felt then:



When the unexpected becomes pleasure

it is easy to get misdirected

too quickly we fall in love

and are broken by the pain

amusing to entertain thoughts

of what can never be

unusual is the spice

that excites and entices life

filling with intrigue and variety

life is never dull when things get wild

i never though it could be this way

but ive had my suspicions

indeed this is scarey but

nothing i couldnt imagine

is it wrong to dream and wonder?

to question and realize

life is what you make it

no boundaries or rules

emotions cannot be bottled

they come out anyways

so whats the use in hiding

be your self today...





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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 3:25 pm 
:bow :thud :jaw



Jessica!! Loved these poems love em love em love em!! more more more!! "huggles"

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:24 pm 
Why thankyou Rose :) *huggles* and more you shalt have cuz i never could deny my fans :) ooh i have fans..lol mmm feedback okay here is a very special post...its a set from when i was 12-14 ish :) maybe not quite 14 cant remember...but wow are they something....crazy teehee early poetry :) well here goes it

Poems from long ago….middle school? LOL enjoy

Stripped

I have no soul it was stripped

Stripped away by the selfless cruelty

The cruelty of my kind

The kind that is no longer mine

Nothing good will come of this

It never does

Memories faded



Murdered

In this grave my body does rest

In my life i hath done my best

My soul does not sleep for I see

That someone has hath murdered me

My soul awoke not in heaven nor hell

On earth as far as I can tell

Doomed to walk forever in wonder till

My ender has gone yonder

I never said goodbye or such

My body found but of it not much

Come he who hath denied my freedom

Why when there is peace and still would you

Murder and kill? If this is real why does he have my soul

To steal? I am afraid I will never know

I see him that rotten selfless man

His conscience called but he only ran

If he only could see the hell coming was

Fully created by he

*giggles insanely* wow…middle school….heres some more the work of a 12 or 13 year old….lmao



Insanity

Ragged times worn thin

Wind plays upon the ear

And strips the soul raw with horror

The heart bleak and morbid

Forbidding thoughts too psychotically possessed

They are watching in mirrored walls

Life turns to examination

Dizziness takes over

Insanity rips my fermented brain

A wild look is cast

Bringing the needle and jacket

I know this is all normality in a place such as this



I didn’t know

In the valley of darkness there is no light

I stare and think of her

I think of what is now and what would have been

Thawing will not happen for the thought of her is always present

The thought of what I did

Forever will never happen the future does not exist

For what was done to her is not so easily forgotten

I didn’t know she’d jump I could’nt know she loved me

I told her I didn’t love her I told her not to cry

I told her she would find someone else but she didn’t see my way

She couldn’t live without me

But I never had a clue

She ran to the window and climbed upon the ledge

She blew and kiss goodbye and out that window she did fly

But flying is not for humans certainly not for her

And as she fell to the ground I convulsed with tears and guilt

I heard her hit the ground sickening as it was

I saw her lying there blood soaking all around

I was only seventeen, I don’t know why I said it bit I wish I never had

I realize that I was wrong and I hope one day in heaven

If I even get to go that she will smile and love me so

I know realize that I need her but it is very late

I know I’ll always miss her but theres nothing to be done

You never know what love you have

Until it dies and fades away

*giggles* disclaimer all poems in this particular set are not true they are works of fiction of sorts…as in not real feelings or characters! I was 12-14 reading too many horror books and watching too many horror movies*



Where hidden messages aren’t so lost

And feelings aren’t so new

I see the end of now

And true meaning coming through

Where dreams lie awake and silence is askew

Blackened hearts cry forward

And souls lay to waste

The answer could be simple

With love looking on

Where shells are always buried

And names laid to rest

The aura seeks meaning

With love looking on

Habits are relearned

With many questions told

With many having forgotten

And many turned away

The memory is always there

And with remembrance

There is always a chance



Vampire

It is she who holds my grasp

I think of nothing else

I alone in my hateful lair

The lurid evil making the hideous rise by each passing night

The night a friend hiding features that should never be seen

Blood deeper and fuller in the sweet captive evening

Especially hers I want it more than anything

She in my arms her power mine to behold

Copper rivers running through dark and forgotten alleys

Arisen corpses eternally awoken

She is near but knows not of I

One bite is what I desire

It is what I need…it is what I will have

She appears softly..i lunge

I gasp a stake through my blackened heart I am not dead

Simply nevermore but a bite on her neck I have planted

She is doomed to my existence evermore



Autumn winds still cold wreak

Always my lost soul to seek

Death has planted is ever kiss

A life my true love will dearly miss

Although the flesh has rot and gone

The mind will go on and on

Blatant excuses for simple thought

Slowly burning of fires wrought

Inside doth complex pain occur

Outside doth simple lies concur

Thine spirits wait upon the moor

And there you are evermore



*giggles*….(also reading too much of the Bronte sisters at this time)



Executed

The soft light plays upon thee

Broken spirit is the key

I imprisoned for crimes unknown

Horrid crimes never committed

Torture until YES! Is screamed….in extreme pain

Sweet denial follows always

They do not care they never do

How long shall I be kept here?

Till ive confessed and be executed?

Of will I die slowly in unspeakable torment never telling?

Dying hatefully spitefully a piece of rotted flesh tormented by

The devils servants they will burn slowly and forever

It would only be fit

Would it be so hard to die…when I die everyday?



Don’t cry for my young loved one

For I’ll be back when summer’s gone

When winter’s willows fail to leaf

And snow is all to see

In the day the stars cannot be bright

But in the dark they shine in sight

Much as you love within this life

Don’t let my death be your knife

Don’t cry for the pulls I could not take

Nor the lies I could not make

Nor for the lead within my soul

Don’t cry for me young loved one

For I truly believe I am not gone

Merely awake



(end of crazy middle school set)





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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 11:56 pm 
Forgiven repeat [yes I know but it’s the complete version]

I can forget

all the pain inside of me

i can survive

through all the hardships yet to come

i can forgive

all the times we've grown apart

and i believe

in forever day to day

and i know

that everything's ok

despite hard times

i can count on you until

life takes one of us away

i still love you.



Random thoughs entitled: A Stage

When the lights go out and the show is over the stage takes on a sharper image. when no one is looking and everthing is unobtrusive nuances in gestures and words change meaning. developing into a character all of its own. still when the show is on traces are there still hidden and dwelling just below the surface. frozen in the bright lights of speculation with all eyes watching its hard to be true to one's self but in the dark gloom of a darkened stage one can relaz and feel the penetrating gaze of ridicule fade away. then and only then does truth spill forward gushing as if some unseen force was squeezing and compelling it to be. letting the lies be unveiled and a sin blotched surface emerges from a well trained actor's face. showing scars of a life time in exile and the painstaking cover of all the damning evidence.



is life passing me by

when i refuse to give in

i must be crazy

i dont know where to begin

do i know you

can i help the pain inside

can i make it through

to the over side

reflections lie

skewed slighty

with rose colored glasses

that have fallen to the floor



split into pieces

harbored my fear

trapped inside this life

plagued by a single tear

no emtion sees through

when dreams die alone

the voices speak clearly

chilling to the bone

with time it only deepens

the pain can only grow

i cannot bear it all

i just never know

how smiles can be disarming

and love is a sin

how eyes can melt a heart

letting feelings in

let them rip away the flesh

its only made of scars

whats a scar upon a scar?

its everything i am not

its pain hidden in laughter

and lies told to love

its ice from a kindred

and hell from above

so find your perfect demon

and let is now be free

let it eat my scars

and devour all of me

im icey frozen cold

down to the last drop

in love ive been abandoned

life just needs to stop

and when its over

all feelings end

no need for salvation

so take me as i am

through loss pain and agony

ive nothing more to give

nothing, and only me.

brilliant thoughts

in broken speeches

innocence rots

and death teaches

inspire me

oh one of heart

let me see

see my part

when i breathe

take my breath

i cannot decieve

when consumed by death

so bury me deep

into this life

as teary eyes weep

it stings like a knife

just release me

let love go

and so sleepily

i will be no more.

shattered parts and broken pieces the remnants of a heart as i sweep them off the floor they crumble into dust and blow away

as is they were memories fading fast everytime they re revisited

i stare at the last little bit that remains stubbornly on my hard wood floor its the last feeling ive had manifested on my floor still quiet and projecting the image of sorrowful longing it evokes a shudder head to toe these actions i have taken the reality of what ive done compiled and deteriorating in front of my eyes floating away off into another's life my sorrow becomes thiers and my sin is your sin and my life is no more my heart i am sweeping and what little i had left is leaving as the last speck is about to take flight i reach out and it beats or seeminly so there is not enough to fill the void that is left behind but it is just enough..just enough to get through another day.





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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 12:08 am 
:rofl

ah man!! I wish I woulda wrote poems in middle school! those would have been some funny shit! Me the confused girl i was and all...."shakes head" anyway! I like these poems, i liked "vampires" cause i used to have this werid fasination with em pre and after buffy so that one was just great! more soon please ya poetry whore! (and i say that in the best way possible!) ;) :smash :applause



:pride :love

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 12:30 am 
*huggles rose* my one and only fan :) yayayayayyayay heres more for my poetry whore....ment in only the nicest way :) :heart



rosary beads swung round my shoulder

as i enter the shadowed courtyard

around me sweet sticks of incence smolder

the courtyrad open but i feel barred

i move to sit beside a grand fountain

with sparkling droplets everywhere

that i envy them is certain

for they can stray anywhere

some say that i am pure

that with god i'll surely walk

yet this i can endure

with god i cannot talk

so take from me my eyes

that i may never see

blacken and my sight surely dies

and so i may be free

and im free from all temptation

free from all my sin

free from devastation

please let my peace begin

so take from me my ears

that i may never hear

and take with it all my fears

and know that im sincere

and im free from all temptation

free from all my sin

free from devastation

please let my peace begin

so take from me my tongue

so i may never sound

take all the songs ive sung

and let my silence surround

and im free from all temptation

free from all my sin

free from devastation

please let my peace begin

and with god i will remain

wandering with him forever

my faith i shall sustain

in him i shall endeavor

and im free from all temptation

free from all my sin

free from devastation

please let my peace begin



{I am not religious the words just kinda popped outta me one day}



is there something youve been meaning to tell me is there somthing eating you alive why cant you hear me im standing in your way why cant you look at me can you see yourself im me i see right into you, you see right through me i see right into you you see right through me cant you see i hold your pain its eating me inside im sacrificed for you im sacrificed for you can you feel me feel the tears within can you love me can you even love yourself i can feel you i can hear you i can see right into you see the pain eating you alive i see right into you past the inward change you see right through me past the pain i hold for you you see right through me past the love thats only you..only you



in the inside past right left and wrong these truths bleed drowing all in unshed tears and salty unbled copper filling my inside past the brim spilling out through sad eyes and broken wrods it stabds with jealous treachery it burns with acid to the wick i can hardly breath.....hehe gee i wonder...where i got the idea for some of my poems...maybe from that fragment...look at the words....one poem always have one line close to the same.....one leads to another you know!.....mostly.....just have to follow the order....



'night'

at night im truly dreaming

with wishes all to see

i cant remember thinking

what are you doing with me

sometimes alone and lonely

the whispers run down the lane

i cant remember feeling

what have you done to me

the dark surrounding always

the leaves yet touched the ground

i cant remember blinking

where have you gone from me

though morning always came

it may not come tonight

i cant remember loving

why did u die on me?



"still life"

haunting beauty etched in stone

watching over the world today

her story is unknown

her soul lost to earthly decay

she is always frozen

trapped inside these walls

her screams encased within

no one hears her at all

she weeps for our sin

she weeps for her own

tears wear her thin

this statue made of stone

her cheeks are always wet

even with no rain

her face is always set

with a look of grotesque pain

she stands alone forever

this girl made of stone

all love time did sever

all except her own.



"souls undone"

Imminent shadows of the past

creep gently in my wake

truth is, true happiness never lasts

and love is to forsake

bittersweet shards of broken glass

shattering and haunting inside

its memories that never pass

and tear i cannot hide

the past elegantly burns within

devouring my last breath

it glorifies my sin

comdemning me to death

salty tears spill unshed

i bleed unspoken lies

the future i no longer dread

all i am simply dies

death whispers in my ears

with sad relections of you

your cold cheek still wet with my tears

a love time cannot renew

for when i cried i drowned

and when i bled i knew

tht loves no face no sound

it was only you.



if your face was but a dream

and you eyes belonged to strangers

you voice to another time

could i even love you then?



and...........

if you only knew

that i would fall to pieces

would you have walked away?

ive been so numb for so long

i dont care what i feel

as long as i just feel

to stop hiding behind the pain

afraid of love and loss

i want to know how you feel

and share in how you love

you always looked so happy

eyes closed and swaying slightly

giving your all to a god ill never know

if i knew how to ask i would to be forgiven

and ask for help.







Soft sensual they stare into eyes

That are everything special

But that will never be theirs

They do not know the feelings are so deep

For friends but never more

Soft light flirting

Always saying just joking

But never really meaning it

For it is forbidden and can never be touched

Leaving a heart to yearn and a mind to wander



Tainted

Darkened days lost and lonely

They flow beneath my wings

Harkened comes my one and only

Save what twilight brings

Tainted moments freeze inside

Fear is on my breath

Frozen teardrops in the tide

Remind me of your death

Expressions cannot be caught

Nor dreams loves nor fears

Their presence cannot be bought

Not even with my tears

The silence it cannot speak

Yet the mind still does hear

The stillness I must seek

Tainted by love so dear

I look to the above

Where darkened shadows cling

The hardly forsaken love

Tomorrow cannot bring



Distraction

Twisted blood of devastation

In my arms does bleed

Curdled black with realization

Soiled with dangerous need

A wanting so utterly depraved

Waiting for satisfaction

Desire so deeply engraved

Letting loose to bold distraction

Unlawful sacrifice of search

Inbedded within my soul

Never forgiven by the church

Spinning out of control

Chained passion of your creation

Longs beneath my own

Flutters with anticipation

And heart made out of stone

Hiding beneath satin sheets

Raging with perfect movement

The searing body heat

With each and every improvement

As we way very still

Reflecting on what took place

Cant get enough erotic thrill

Why don’t we restart this race?



On reflection

Memories are like photographs

A still one scene from the past

A glimpse of what has been

The love pain and loss

Captured in an instant

Enhanced by all these years

And what we had was great

But it was really never enough

Because nothing ever was

That’s the funny thing about reflections

They are always brighter shinier and backwards

It seems so long ago now

But also just like yesterday

If I ever felt old before

I feel ancient today

It was a gradual change

A parting so slowly by inches

So the shock never came

Only pangs of loss in reflection

But everything has its ends



If all who are born die

And all who suffer live

What kind of good am i

If ive nothing more to give

I’m not feeling very introspective

Just here quiet and still

But that’s to be expected

When life has lost its thrill

The world has so much pain

Everywhere I turn

Pouring down like rain

Rain that likes to burn

Sweet salvation

Carry me from here

End this realization

Let pain disappear…







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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 6:36 pm 
For Shanna

If i could just wake up next to you

everything would be alright

time would stop

as loving arms embrace

the world slipping away

when gentle kisses touch

nothing else matters

lost inside your eyes

holding close

the only one

the only love

I'll ever need



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:13 pm 
:thud :bow :boot :sheep

woot for ALL of these poems!! man you post so much now my brain is frazzled must be cuz of those 2 whores in chat eh? ;) i liked the last one to shanna, it was short but sweet! And i dont think it sucked at all!! It was wonderfull!! :D

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 9:11 pm 
*Huggles Sis* My very last post...until i write more...than it shall be one at a time i'd suppose....maybe my last post ever!.....thankyou for you love, support, and cray late nite talks! here goes it:kgeek :flower



:D



A broken woman

Her shadowed face

Her tears paint a picture

That no one seems to see

Her soul a shattered mirror

Her heart an empty glass

Her whispers tell a story

That no one seems to hear

Her sleeves don’t cover her bruises

Her glasses don’t cover her fears

Her eyes they are pleading

But no one seems to care

Her body lies still now

Her soul no longer trapped

But the man that did this still lives

And it is not remotely fair

Why couldn’t you have listened

Why wouldn’t you even care

Were you afraid

Regardless you are responsible

You are lucky you think

Someone died for your sins

But it still wont save

Your soul



Without sound

I shiver

Lost not found

I quiver

Without sight

Trapped inside

Filled with fright

Suicide

Without hate

Sweet release

A life to waste

In misery

Without breath

It never ends

Loving death

Nothing mends

Forsaken life

Haunting past

Sacrifice

I was Never made to last



I saw goodbye

To everything I’ve known

I saw goodbye

To everything you’ve shown

All the past

Love wisdom and laughter

Never could last

Only missed here after

It was slow burning

A step by step release

I felt myself turning

But still missing a piece

Perhaps I lost you long ago

Because theres nothing here today

Nine years and nothing left to show

And that’s all I’ve got to say



My sin

Walking down this lonely street

I feel a bit abused

Thinking about love so sweet

I feel a bit confused

Remembering thoughts of yesterday

I wish you were here with me

But yet I’m here alone today

And for once in finally free

The lonely thoughts starting again

But I don’t regret this path

Your tears won’t wash away my sin

Cant take away my wrath

I know you were always good to me

I know that I’m on my own

But in finally beginning to see

What I should have always known

I can’t be happy in this place

I won’t pretend to love you so

I can’t put that smile on your face

Like that girl you pretend not to know

So baby this is goodbye

And I hope we never meet again

No point even to pretend to cry

Because you cant wash away my sin



A walk

Immortal souls bled and gone

Lost to deprivation

Twilight bleeds in to dawn

Stars lost to blind starvation

Walking through dust and gloom

To find our minds salvation

Never quick to assume

That lifes our imitation

We stumble past rocks and mud

To find our destination

Our thoughts covered with the blood

Of deeper realization

Wind whispers in our ears

The trees grow softly around

They know my deepest fears

But do not make a sound

The lake so warm and still

Reflects our thoughts much clearer

Like standing upon the sill

To a wise and liquid mirror



My desire

I little touch of yesterday

To haunt me from behind

A love so far away

To weigh upon my mind

A reflection so unkind

Shattered in my soul

My eyes see not to find

The love is what god stole

My loves being torn away

Leaving my soul hollow

I cannot live another day

In god I cannot follow

My heart completely frozen

I cannot bear this time

Why was my love chosen

Surely it must be crime

To kill a love so pure

And expect to get away

I wish you not endure

Not live another day

Suffer as I do now

Drown in pits of fire

As hell would allow

This is my desire



Fears

A broken heart filled with longing

A soul six feet in tears

Sweet lips that no longer sing

All because of fears

Down a dark lane so lost

A true lover passed away

A body laid to rest in frost

A lonely spirit home to stay

A woman cries tears of dust

Memories wash away the years

Her mind slowly begins to rust

Of because of fears

In a grassy field down by the lake

A heart Is broken once again

Time has even her soul to take

But it won’t wash away the sin

The love is gone but still not jaded

The heart still weeps unshed tears

Her mind completely lost and faded

All because of fears



And she left

One day like any other as easily as she had come

Into another land

And so it became

That I am alone once again

But finally understand

I could never forget her

Just as she must forget me

The two are important

But as necessary as

The day I knew myself



I never knew how much it cost

Just to live just to breath

When every moment is jealousy

Precious and time is only relevant

When a clock is nearby





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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 11:16 pm 
"yells really loud" SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! ahem...greatness with the new (maybe old?) poems!! "bounces around in my pink feedback tutu) YAY YAY! :dumbo And dumbo likes it too! Ok so well no more for a while? "sobs" what will i do!!!! "sigh" ok ill get over it! But dont like NOT post still cause that would be mean and and...i need my daily dose of poems!!!!!!!!! YOU ROOOOOCK!!





:smash

look thats me smashing those bitches..... more more more...:smash :smash :smash :smash :smash ok so maybe i wouldnt have that happy look on my face...but still! ok so i said id leave u 2 fb's and look! I have! you rock with the poems! And i rock too! we'll rock together!! "dances some more in pink tutu" WE ROCK!

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.

Edited by: Warduke at: 9/3/04 11:20 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2004 11:54 pm 
                                                                        When She Cries

There is tragedy, stagnant and thick within these walls. A daughter, wife, sister, aunt, niece, cousin has passed away. In a flash she is gone, without warning, without cause. There is mourning; a memorial is held, with a potlatch afterwards; celebrating life by consuming the life-giving foods. One month to the day after her death, her father passes away. A father, husband, uncle, brother, cousin, he is gone in his time. The long suffering has ended, brought into a downward spiral after his daughter¡¦s death.                        

There is a certain dejection. It¡¦s the memories that never pass and tears I cannot hide. I was told of this on the same weekday as the other. They died in the same day and the funeral was on the same day. Exactly one month to the day, one month to grieve. I, alone in a house with two other beings, wander aimlessly and uselessly from nine-thirty am to nine-thirty pm. Not a soul had awoken. There is no drive, no need to do. I feel as lost to life as those dearly departed. I cry, and they are gone. Expressions cannot be caught, nor dreams, loves nor fears. There presence cannot be bought not even with my tears. I sit and wait for them to wake, but it is not to be. My parents, so thoroughly distraught, cannot seem to rouse themselves. That¡¦s how the day started and ended and nothing mattered in between.

At last, the computer room door swings open at nine-thirty, and my father walks out. He has slept for at least twelve hours, if not more. I thrilled at the chance to at last get online, run and log on to my various instant messenger programs. I had been lonely, waiting all day for a chance at interaction, and I was not going to lose it for anything. She is online. She whom I hadn¡¦t seen since she last surprised me with a rose and a heart shaped cookie on Valentines Day. She whom it had been two or more weeks since our last phone call. She whom I had spent so much time with in the months prior to this one, my friend, my sister. She whom is in so much pain. Thrilled by her presence on this simple instant messenger, I begin a conversation. I long to say I love you, I miss you, I¡¦m sorry but instead I say:

Evanescence: "Tanya."

Euphoria: "hey"

Eu: "We are having veggie lasagna and you should come get some."

Ev: "tonite?"

Eu: "Yea"

Ev: "Well I have a present for you I suppose I can go wrap it ļ (It was her birthday the next day)

Ev: "Are you sure its ok with your mom?"

Eu: "Yeah, definitely"

Ev: "Could I maybe see you alone for a min?"

Eu: "Only if you eat¡K.Maybe but don¡¦t expect anything"

Ev: "Expect what?"

Eu: ¡§I dunno I¡¦m crazy"

there is a pain it wont stop it doesnt end throbbing in my brain

it feels like everything is consuming me and im awake to feel every bite


Ev: "I suppose I can go wrap it and be over in a few."

Eu: "See you for dinner."

Ev: "Shall I knock?"

Eu: "No. never."

        I, being a neighbor right across the street and knowing the family for ten years, never really had an intention of knocking. It was a sort of private joke between us, and her response is reassuring. I still felt welcome, wanted and familiar, like I need not announce my presence. It was just good to feel something, anything. So I set off in the pitch darkness quickly diminishing the space between my friend and I. I look up as snow falls softly around me, the reality of the day finally sinking in. I walked trudging, through the snowy drifts as the sky let loose its burdens, and the weight of the world fell to bury me in tears.

I arrive, going quietly through the door.Slipping unnoticed into the garage and into the house. It is alive and busy with family, maybe twelve people in all. The grieving mother and wife hugs me, sadness overflowing her eyes. She remembers how it felt to be touched by love, and to let go. She is happy to see me. She refers to me as a daughter and I call her mom. She too is happy, as I am that Tanya has welcomed a visitor of sorts into the house. My friend has been antisocial, and it is good to feel needed by her. I see her and come up slowly behind her. I gently touch her arm and say hello. She does not respond, but a few seconds later turns and looks deeply at me and says: "Wow, you are here." A broken heart filled with longing, a soul six feet in tears. I explained that I had already said hello; she mumbles something about not even feeling it, and I think to myself how her inner numbness has seemingly spread to her extremities. I gesture towards an empty bedroom. I give her the card and present, and she thanks me, but minimal words were spoken. She is incapable, and I am simply happy just to be in her presence, and so unsure of what to say.I had written nothing in the card, but she knew, she knew everything I wanted to say. You are the one with rippled emotion waves of tears lapping inside your eyes. No emotion sees through when dreams die alone. I see what the others do not, I see the sorrowful melancholy wash away at the shores of your mind. However, that day I had posted online to her journal and said everything I needed to, and that was why the card was blank except for a signature. No reason to repeat oneself so soon; she knows I love her, and if not, she will because I am there for her, my sister and friend. If I could I would wipe those tears away and never let you go.

She pulls me back out the door and into the kitchen and tells me that now I must eat. I do eat, but say: ¡§only for you love.¡¨ The tradition of life-giving foods yet again. It is good to eat and see them all eating. Celebrating our need to live and not starving themselves like so many times when we have been sad before. We dine and sit next to one another on the couch. There is family scattered about here, and they¡¦re all searching for pictures. One roll of film here, one box or envelope or negative there. They laugh over pictures and try to pull some together for a slideshow. Showing each picture to one another. A precious memory of happiness preserved, and my friend is no exception. She too is searching for pictures and for something I can¡¦t describe. May the past rest in peace and arise only content with the splendid reveries for the love once attained will be locked in our hearts forever. We talk a little, of what is not important, but she laughs. And once, a glimmer of her old naughty self shines through. For she was deliciously mischievous with an alluring and addictive presence. Just a glimmer and it fades. She sits, a cold numb shell, but still there is hope.       

Someday she will smile, and someday she will laugh. I will be there, and through this next upcoming memorial, I will be there, and again we will have the ritualized potlatch of life-giving substance. It may never be the same, not with this heavy sorrowthat runs so deep. I can not be sure that she can recover. Maybe in time, but she is my friend and my sister, and I will be there when she smiles and when she laughs, and for now and ever I will be there when she cries.



































Edited by: Miss Evanescent  at: 12/10/04 6:57 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 1:00 am 
:thud

thats all i have to say...

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 10:16 am 


:thud :applause :happycry :bow :thud :applause :happycry :bow :thud :applause :happycry



*worships you!*



And as for you posting your last posts and not coming on for a while....



:( :aww :spin :sob nooooooooooooo!!!



I need regular doses of jessicaness's poemness ....POEMNESS!



Darn it, but hey you'll be back right?!



Great stuff, really really great stuff!



Stace xXx

"I can't sleep, everything i ever knew, is a lie, without you” -I don't want to fight



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 1:10 pm 
Thankyou Sis and Stace for all of your wonderful feedback and demands for more. One day i shall return :) until then farewell sweet poetry fans:flower :wave :peace :p ride



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:20 pm 
:no

hey i was on top! Now im not on the top! "sobs and runs off"

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 9:47 pm 
My first NC-17 post ooohhh my smut due to Rose's whining.....and my gf's awesome imagination....heres to ya both.....:kdevil T

hey walk slowly into the crowded party. Old couches and chairs line the dusty and darkened corners of this long abandoned house. The perfect spot on the perfect night for escaping the pressures of college and into pressures of an entirely different variety. The bass pounds up through the floor as couples move rhythmically closer to ecstasy. Some are dancing, grinding in time with the music while others kiss passionately in shadowy corners. The blonde pulls the brunette by the hand slowly and surely through the living, gyrating sea. Showing a lustful determination the blonde grabs her lover and pulls her by the waist into a teasingly slow erotic dance. She places one hand low on the brunettes back, slipping one leg between her girlfriend’s, and rolling her hips to the beat. The blonde continues teasing by slipping her hand behind her lover’s and neck pulling her into a deeply delicious kiss. The brunette moans maybe a little too loudly but no one seems to notice. Everyone is lost in their own needs and desires. The blonde grinds teasingly slow then hard alternating on every other beat. Both girls’ head spin out of control as their centers touch, their legs buckling beneath them. The blonde backs away, smiling like the vixen she is, as she leads her gf into the shadows. She sits suddenly finding a well worn armchair while pulling the brunette sharply into her lap. Grabbing the brunette by the back of her thighs she forces them apart so that they now straddle her nicely. The blonde begins an assault of kisses all over her girl’s hot spots. Her neck, collarbone, ears, shoulder, she licks, sucks, and nibbles leaving the brunette breathless and aching. The blonde runs her hands over the brunette’s chest, teasingly pinching her nipples into hard peaks. She whispers, “cold baby?’ The brunette could only pull the blonde into a deep passionate kiss. Their lips brush tingling as the brunette runs her tongue softly over the blonde’s lips. She nibbles on the lower lip and pushes her tongue slightly between, desperately needing to feel her lovers tongue on hers. The blonde obliges taking her lovers tongue deep into her mouth and massaging it with her own. The brunette doesn’t notice the blonde running her hand down her stomach and over to her jeans. The blonde slowly unbuttons and unzips her gfs jeans while running one hand back up to massage her breasts. The brunette moans loudly but is silenced with a kiss. The blonde teases her hands into her lover’s pants running her fingers over the wet, hot panties. She breaks the kiss suddenly as she bites the brunette’s neck all the while slipping two unnoticed fingers deep within her lover. As the brunette feels the fingers bend and thrust she begins to grind her hips down forcefully and nibbling her lover’s ears. The blonde continues to suck, lick, and nibble the brunette’s hottest spots. The blonde suddenly grabs the brunette’s ass, pushing her firmly down onto her hand. The brunette gasps and begins to moan almost screaming, “OH, GOD” as she comes hard and fast squeezing the blondes hands as they delicately carry the brunette through waves and waves of pleasure. The blonde quickly covers her mouth on the brunettes, the moans and screams muffled by her lips and tongue. The blonde smiles wickedly as her lover collapses into her arms still shaking and breathing hard. As her breathing slows the dancers not more than five feet away catch her eye. The brunette realizes where she is and quickly turns a bright shade of red. She bites the blonde meanly on the shoulder, winking and says “Someday I am definitely getting you back for that.”



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 10:30 pm 
:shower

:jaw

:thud



GREAT GREAT GREAT! I told YOU that it want bad! Its very good! Might be what i need for insperation.....of course there are other things...ahem...anyway! I like this sis! You'll be a good smut writer! :boot

:pride

-rose

I didnt know what being happy was till i found you, i didnt know what love meant till i loved you.



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 10:45 pm 
who says im writin anymore smut sis? lol....once is enough been there tried that....;) hmmm i need inspiration as well.....for me poetry...is sadly lacking



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 1:28 am 
Wow,your writing is great,thanks for sharing :clap



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:41 pm 
:bigwave

Hello again Jessica! Well I just gotta say, this little story is just AMAZING! It isnt bad at all! I enjoyed it, and Im sure that everyone else will too! You aren't a bad writter at all! Never doubt yourself when it comes to writer! This was just great! And I hope you write more like it soon! Cheers!

-erica

;)



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 Post subject: Re: Society in Denial
PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 5:25 am 
Thanks for sharing this litle story of yours! :drool



BV

It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.



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