Well....it's late, and I'm feeling the need to post...so I've dug up a pretty old one. This one is..hm....overly dramatic I've decided. Meh. But it has its good points.....I think...
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        She sat amidst all of them, a smile securely planted upon her face. Sometimes, just sometimes, she truly meant it too. Each gesture was confident, every movement secure, her role learned well. She had been taught to always keep in the act, and it was second nature to her now. Difficult to give up. That was fine with her. The role was safe, the act what was she lived for. Even now, she was thinking about what was to come. What she had to do next. What was expected of her, so the audience couldn’t tell.
        This is what she knew she had to do. Fool the audience, never let them know. Make them believe this was really her life. Truly the sign of a great actress. Bring the audience in, draw them to her, pull the wool over their eyes……in an attempt to make her feel like it wasn’t actually she who was playing the fool. But that was for another time, another place….when the play was over. Right now it was time to move again. Follow their lead, learn from the other players. React with them.
        So, she had a problem with you. She would learn to handle it. There were always problems with someone. Just try and remember to stay in character. She won‘t let you fool her.
Won’t let you pull out who she really is.
        No distractions. There are no truths but the ones she makes on the spot.
Won’t let you pull out who she really is.
        Use her skills she learned them well. She earned the mask she wears. She deserves to be the character she plays. She’s a slave to the character she plays.
Won’t let you pull out who she really is.
        There are no feelings but the ones she pretends to have. So what is it that you make her feel. It’s nothing, it’s a weakness. That was you trying to fool her. Someone trying to pull out who she really is.
Don’t let them.
        She can’t let you. It’s not safe. It’s not part of the play, This can’t be done. Don’t you see that. Don’t you realize it. Do you expect her to switch characters in mid act. It was impossible. She was alone here. Play her part, and move on.
Won’t let you pull out who she really is.
        When the act was over, she’d be alone again. So she would live in the now, keep the smile there, keep her chin high. Remember the audience, the players. Feel them move with her, and stay with them. She can keep up. She always has. She was surrounded by people, but she knew she was alone. That was fine with her. It was something she got used to in this kind of life. It was something she came to rely on. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t sure of who she was anymore. The act surrounded her most of the time. She would find a way to fill the times when she was alone with no one to perform for. It was easier to stay in character. It was easier for her to perform always. It was easier to perform for herself. It was safer. She didn’t need to know who she was.
        So how did you make it through? How did you make her question her act. How could you do that. How could you do this to her. She resented you for that. She hated you for that. She loved you for that. She didn’t know what she felt. The act was her life. And you made her question the reality of it. You made her wonder why she needed the act. You were another player just like her. The act was her life. And you took that from her. It had been an eternity since she had last known herself. How did you know who she was.
How did you pull out who she really was.
        She doesn’t know her own strength anymore. She’s not strong enough to make it by without the act. She’s not strong enough to live on her own. She’s too strong to live on her own.
How did you pull out who she really was.
        What happens when the show is over. What happens when its time to say goodbye. She has always lived the act. She spent her life learning how. She survived with the act. And now that its gone, where does she turn.
        Are you going to be there for her. No one else was. How can she ask that of you. She’ll have nothing without you. She hasn’t been able to laugh unless it was for the audience. She cried for the audience. She grieved for the audience. You make her laugh for herself. Over herself.
Over you.
You make her cry for herself. Over herself.
Over you.
        She grieves for the life you make her realize wasn’t spent as it should have been. And then you tell her that it made her the person she is. She thinks it made the mask she has to wear. It made the chains that bind her hands and feet. It made the burden she carries on her back.
        But your pulling back the mask. You take those chains from her. You lessen her burden. She came to live for those things too. Those were part of her motivation. Part of her. They kept her act going. Where does she go without them. Who does she turn to. She wants to turn to you. She wants to be able to turn to herself too. But there’s no one there. There’s no one in her. It’s lonely out there with everyone else.
        She’s alone in a world filled with people. She’s alone in herself. She’s surrounded by people in her head. She’s surrounded by thoughts of you. She’s empty inside. She’s searching for happiness, just like everyone else.
She’s nothing like anyone else.
        She’s searching for herself. She doesn’t even know if she exists. She’s searching for you. She doesn’t know if you want her to find you. If you want her to come to you. If you want her to turn to you. If you want that kind of burden. If you want those chains. If you want a mask. She doesn’t even know if those things come along with her. Everyone else seems to think so.
        Nothing comes along with her but emptiness. It’s the one thing that follows her everywhere. Besides the darkness. She’s lost in the darkness. In her character. In the act. The act is her life. So why is it that she doesn’t mind when she’s with you. Does you being there change her. Does she change you. Do you get rid of that darkness. Or do you make it welcoming. The darkness doesn’t cast you out like her, it brings you in. But is that safe for you.
What happens when the darkness becomes your life too.
        She’s alone. She’s cold. She’s lost. She thinks. Thinking is something that goes hand in hand with acting. You have to know where your going, what your about to do. You must always be thinking. Thinking is something she does too much. It leads to guilt. It leads to pain. It leads to heartache. She doesn’t want you hurt. She doesn’t want to bring you to where she is. But your already there. Can you make it back.
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~Sara~
We don't need their shallow popularity; we'll build our palaces in the dark and beautiful places they forgot to look