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 Post subject: Poems....(and other things)
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2003 9:21 am 
Okay, Karen and i started a thread for our poems together, but we each have others that aren't lovey ones....but we wanna share em anyway, so, I am gonna post em here, I think KareBear will too...anyway, here's one I just wrote....



All That Time



All that time I stood with you,

you never really knew,



that I loved or that I cared

about all the things that we shared.



You were blind, you couldn't see

how I wished you'd long for me.



All that time that I was there,

I only wished that you would care



about my feelings, about my heart

about the times I fell apart.



You never cared, you never will.

Through my heart you sent a chill.



I wear this mask to hide the pain,

sometimes you make me feel insane.



I wish you knew how you betrayed me,

all this time, and you still don't see.



I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR

Edited by: fairydust  at: 6/23/03 2:11 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2003 1:08 pm 
oookay....I'm sorta *cough*skippinschool*coughcough* and decided I could add a few of my poems here....



-THE END-



Sometimes I wonder if I’m too lost to be found

I’ve spent my whole life running

from things I can’t see.

Now I see the only thing I ran from,

was myself.



Now I wonder if I’m too broken to be fixed.

My life was ruined by my lack of hope,

it was my soul that shattered, and my heart that broke.

Maybe the only one who truly hurt me

was…me



Am I too hurt to heal?

The cuts, the burns

caused by pain, and lack of death just the same.

I continue to wonder, “Can I live

with myself?”



Is my heart too dark to shine?

Am I actually capable of love?

With in all this pain,

all I know is that I don’t

love myself



*I wrote it a few weeks ago....but I'm smiley now:grin seeee*



I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR

Edited by: fairydust  at: 5/28/03 9:06:27 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2003 3:43 pm 
Hey Jayma :wave



Those are really some very great poems :grin



I love the first one cos that's something I can kinda relate too ;)



Thanks for sharing :D Keep them coming ;)



:peace -Viv-

Medicine, law, banking – these are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, romance. love, beauty? These are what we stay alive for!



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2003 3:59 am 
Great poems :D



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2003 7:45 pm 
Love the poems sweetie! Wow... that last one is kinda angsty... been there. Feeling MUCH better now! :wink



:flower



Looking forward to more!



-Mickie

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
-Sophocles



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2003 7:32 am 




Oh great poem fairydust







Cheers kiwi6969:geek



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2003 8:17 am 
Pacou thank you very much sweetie! :tooth

and thank you SJ :grin

MICKSTER *pounces* thanks for FINALLY leaving feedback;) teehee:flower

kiwi6969 I'm glad you liked them:grin I'm posting more, the more time I get



anyway....here's another poem....



Spare Me



Spare me your words

on this day of all.

Your words are daggers

and you don't even know.



You're still sweet

You're still kind

Do you know that it kills me,

deep down inside?



You've broken my heart

You've hurt my soul

But I'm the one

who hurts me more.



I gave you my trust.

I gave you so much.

But now you're gone,

and I miss your touch.



You showed me passion,

beauty and grace.

And I want to thank you,

for giving me those days.



But spare me the heartache.

And spare me your lies.

Just give me the space

to let me be mine



*this was written in like....November I think....I wrote it for this girl here who said she liked me and then was all weird and stuff...its a long story....lol, anyway, we're still friends....*:sigh



I LOVE YOU KAREBEAR!!!!!:heart :love :bigkiss



I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2003 8:27 am 
Okay, so, I was looking through my notebooks and I found some more poems...this one is for my ex-girlfriend...and for those who know me, they know her name;) lol anyhoo...



Disease



You’re a disease,

my chronic pain.



You poison my life,

you make me hate.



My heart is blackened

from what you’ve done,



my soul is shattered

by words you spoke.



You let me down

in so many ways;



so much anger

I can't explain.



The mask you wear

to hide yourself



will soon go away

to show your face.



You’re the disease

that almost killed me



but now I am ready

to let you go



For now I’m happy

and you’re a ghost.



Just get out of my life,

and leave me alone.



I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2003 8:39 am 
Alrighty, I wrote this one for my sisters for her birthday lastyear, but I guess it's for all of them...



Endless Love



The most wonderful thing in this world

is to have a sister with endless love.

To have someone always there

is so wonderful, I have to share.

With my sisters I know I'll have

someone to tell me whats right, wrong, good and bad.

We share clothes,

we share life.

We share hopes, dreams, and sisterly love.

How could I say anyone is my best friend,

if they are not Josie, Jessy, or Jenn.

When all seems lost,

when all seems bad,

I call on a sister

to take my hand.

Nothing defeats,

nothing hinders,

the endless love

of my everlovin' sisters.



*the everlovin' thing is an inside thing between my sisters and brother and me*

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2003 3:21 pm 
-------THIS ONE IS ANGSTY!!!!!-------

I wrote this last summer....I don't feel like this anymore, but it's kind of therapy to read it or let others read it....*this is what my shrink told me*



I Hate Myself



I hate myself and want to die

to give up everything and say goodbye.



All this hurt in so little time,

my life never seems as if it's even mine.



It's selfish, it's horrible, but it's what I feel.

Life deals cards, I got a good deal;



But I fucked it up like everything else,

my mind has traveled to all hells.



I want to laugh, I hate to cry,

but that's impossible, I want to die.



I wouldn't miss anything, not even family.

I couldn't touch but only see.



That's all I want, that's all I need,

I can't speak anyway, my thoughts are never freed.



I wonder if anyone would even notice or care,

I wonder if they can know what I have to share.



The hardest thing I've ever had to do is live,

and now I've given up, every little bit.



Maybe it will get better, maybe not.

But it will happen; ready or not...



I hate myself and I want to die.



I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR

Edited by: fairydust  at: 6/10/03 5:30 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2003 12:52 pm 
Hey Jayma!!! *BIG HUGS*



I'm glad you no longer feel like that sweetie! That's pretty dark. :paranoid



But yay for a new lease on life!! :bounce



:flower :flower



-Mickie



One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
-Sophocles



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 Post subject: Re: Poems....
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2003 5:35 pm 
*pounces and pokes Mickie* hey man, thanks...and it's supposed to be dark:p dark's my style;) teehee..anyhoo, I'm gonna go call Karen:grin which...it's kinda funny dontcha think...my gf has yet to leave me feedback:sob lol

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: a new thing
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2003 3:43 pm 
Alrighty, well, I decided I would just use this thread to post some of the other creative writing stuff I’ve done so I didn’t have to start yet another thread...anyway.... In my American literature class this year we had a bunch of vocab words and were supposed to write something to use them in...so I wrote a letter, and it happened to be to my ex-gf... my teacher loved it, he kept a copy...lol...anyway...here goes



Dear (insert name here)*

I can't say exactly why I'm writing this, though I suppose it's the irrepressible feelings I have inside.



I was cleaning my room tonight, and I popped in some CD’s. I chose one that I had forbidden myself to even touch, as if it would bring forth some terrible malady. But tonight I touched it. I pulled it out of my CD case and put it in my CD player. There were unrelenting tears tumbling down my cheeks as I listened to the songs that used to be heaven to my ears; the songs I can still only hear you singing. Now they only seem to bring emaciated memories of my futile attempts at love.



All I could think of was the first night I heard your voice sing to me. Then came the memories of pain and the tempestuous feelings of remorse and loss. Though, I suppose there was a lot of gain in our loss of each other...



Towards the end of our brief sojourn with one another, I began to feel the effects of our insoluble relationship more than I had before, at any time.



My feeble attempts to convince the world that I loved you came to a halt. I found out that even you no longer believed in the love I had to offer.



I never loathed a moment as much as I did that one; that one moment when I became nothing...you had found someone else. I was only a vague intolerable human who happened to pass through your life.



I stood on a steep cliff looking down, metaphorically of course, and thought about letting my feelings permeate my whole soul. This of course would have been my leap off the precipitous cliff into an oblivion of unknown pain and oppressiveness. But instead, I took a step back. Someone, whose appellation is of no importance to you, took my hand and said to me, "Don't let her control you anymore." Though at the time, I still didn't see you as my enemy, my oppressor as it was.



With trepidation and more than a little distrust, I began to walk my life in the arms of people who truly loved me; people who truly love me still.



So again, I'm not quite sure why I wrote this. Maybe it was just so I could alleviate some of my soul. Maybe it was so I could tell you once and for all; I did truly love you. But those feelings are withered like the petals of a forgotten rose. I will never be able to forget the feelings I had for you. They pervade my entire being like nothing else. Now I'm just trying to cleanse my soul, to ease you out of my life once again.



So, to end this I will say the words I should have said and meant a very long time ago. Words my soul needs to understand to their fullest extent: Good-bye...



~Jayma Faye~



Alright, that's it:stink lol, let me know how bad it is...hehe



*I didn't use her name, i felt it would be unfair *shrugs*:sigh

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: a new thing
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2003 12:47 pm 
Hey Jayma! I just finished reading all your poems. They're really awesome! It's so easy to see what you were feeling at the time.. especially when you've been there yourself. Keep up the great work, sweetie.. and post some more! :)



Later!

Brandi :cool

"If you're sleepin are you dreamin.. If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?" - Calling You by Blue October



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 Post subject: Re: a new thing
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2003 5:21 pm 
That's ok, I can fill in the name! :| And it won't be a nice one!



*hugs*



Very good letter. So... did you send it? :flirt



-Mickie

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
-Sophocles



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 Post subject: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:09 pm 
Well, I know its been like half a year almost...i suppose its time i get off my a$$ and post somethin. Basically, I only have depressing poems right now...but we'll see.



Silence



I slam the door shut

and put a hole in the wall.

The blood rushes through me

as I scream, punch, and fall.



I look frantically around my room

before spotting what I need;

what I desire and what I crave

to complete this evil deed.



I grab the matches and the razor

and settle onto my floor.

Strike! A match is lit and burning;

Burning to my core.



Heat pain and burning flesh;

the fire sits on my arm.

I feel the pain, but I love it.

I light another one to do more harm.



When I’m done, I see the scars-to-be

and a crooked smile appears on my face.

Big red circles that sting like hell;

Gotta hide everything so there’s no trace.



But it’s not enough, not at all.

So I grab the blade, cold and rusted.

I cut lines designs and shapes;

Point is, I cannot be trusted.



The cool metal touches my skin

I press down as hard as ever

No reason to not, right?

Have I been happy? Never.



But, wait…something’s wrong.

There’s too much red.

I didn’t want this,

I don’t want to be dead.



My heart just hurts, that’s all.

There’s too much pain and too much violence

I didn’t want this.

And then there was silence.







Scarlet



All alone and suffering deeply,

I hold my life all to freely.



Sitting down I weigh the choices;

a life of pain or the death of painful voices.



Holding the blade and thinking it through,

not sure if I should, but I do.



Everything fades, there's only red,

but the pain hasn't stopped and I'm not dead.



So I do it again, again and again,

pushing harder and wishing for the end.



Closing my eyes, I lay my body down,

I feel the blood rushing, but I frown.



I look at my arm and see the scarlet flowing.

Tears fall from my eyes without my knowing.



Truth sets in that I'm still here,

so I'll try it again, with or without fear.









I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 12:08 am 
Powerful poems. Both of them. You've got great talent :clap

Cassie





Ask me if I loved you yesterday. I'll say 'Yes'

Ask me if I love you today. I'll say 'Yes'

Ask me if I'll love you tomorrow. I'll say 'Always'







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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 1:03 am 
Pretty dark poems those.

Great writing :clap



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 11:56 pm 
awesome poems!! Loved the last two. could relate to them ALOT! I hope you continue updating because your writting is Very DEEP and i enjoy reading them!!

:peace

-Rose



I loves me AMber!



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 4:27 pm 
A big thanks to intricate mirage and SJ and Spikeizmine87 you dont know how much it means to me:grin i should be posting another poem tonight...i hope...thanks again *hugs you all*

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2003 9:48 pm 
Ok...well...Ive been basically just going through my poetry scrap book that i started last year, and some of them suck...but i found a couple i wouldnt mind sharing. This first one is for my ex-gf again...it sorta sucks but oh well...



Don't



Don’t say you didn’t

Because it’s all you did



You did what you had to

To keep me here



You didn’t care

How you hurt me



You just wanted

For me to stay.



I was your slave

I was your cane.



One day, that single day

I gathered my courage



I said goodbye

I faced the world



How I wonder

What you’ll become



When faced with life -

A life without me



Will you be strong?

Will you survive?



No, I can't

I won’t



I said goodbye

I’ve made my peace



But still, I wonder

Can you do the same?



I will pray

I will hope



Because of you

I learned so much



I can never forget

The lessons taught



I now am stronger

And now I'm free



Please learn

Please grow



Because someday

For someone



You will show

The love you have inside...





ok, this one i scribbled down in september of this year...



No Turning Back



Truth is distant from my eyes,

Replaced with pain

and these lies.



My mouth holds no words of love,

Its all been killed,

so I push and shove.



These hands aren’t soft caring or kind,

They are violent,

dangerous with pride.



My heart is dark, cold and black,

I hate this,

but there’s no turning back.





In my poetry class lastyear we had to draw a picture of something in a circle and then write a poem based on what we drew...well...being the pride girl i am, I drew a rainbow and a heart thingy. And i wrote a poem in the 5 minutes i had left to finish it as sort of a "screw you" thing to the kids who have a problem with me... *theres hardly anyone who does cuz they are scared of me...teehee*:whistle Im an angel i swear...anyhoo



My Heart Shines



My heart shines in ways

that you will never know



And just because the way I love

is foreign in your eyes –

does not give you the right to judge

or point to me with your lies.



You cloud my heart to make me feel

different and despised.

But I am here to let you know -

my heart will never die.



Till the end of time -

the love I feel -

will be for her and her alone.



Because her heart is the same is mine,

that love for me can only grow -

truly forever - beautifully shown.





k...thats it for now...thank god right:p anyhoo, lemme know how badly i suck:grin



~Jayma Faye~



-just pointing out one more lil funny thing...it's been like 6 months and my gf still has not left me feed back...*pouts*I'm unloved:cry

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 8:05 am 
Hey fairydust. I personally thought 'Don't' was not bad. Loved the last 4 lines. 'No Turning Back' was really angsty, completely different from 'My Heart Shines'. But know what's the same? They are both great! :clap

Cassie





Ask me if I loved you yesterday. I'll say 'Yes'

Ask me if I love you today. I'll say 'Yes'

Ask me if I'll love you tomorrow. I'll say 'Always'







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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 11:38 pm 
Ok well...I know Karen and I have our own thread for our lovey dovey type poems, but, today is our one year anniversary... *jumps up and down* :grin :wink :clap :applause :pride :banana :heart :bounce :love annnyyyyway..lol....here's a poem i wrote for her...its a first draft, well, technically a second draft...but still, its subject to change.



If I could



If I could

I would hold your hand

and kiss your lips.

And if I could

I would hold you close

with my hands on your hips.



If I could

I would kiss you goodnight

and snuggle you close.

I would wrap my arms around you

and nuzzle your little button nose.



And if I could

I would whisper "I love you"

and fall asleep in our bed.

And if I could

I would drive you everywhere

listening to everything you said.



If I could

I would take your pain

and cry on your shoulder.

I would squeeze you closely,

knowing that pain was over.



And if i could

I would dress you up

and take you out.

And if I could

I would give you fairy kisses

to cure your pout.



If I could

I would marry you right now

and trust you always.

I would give myself to you

endlessly for all our days.



And if i could

I would dry your eyes

and stop your tears.

And if I could

I would just look at you

for years upon years.



If I could

I would kiss you right now

and I would hold you close.

I would say "I love you"

and know that it shows.



And if I could

I would play the guitar

and sing this song.

And if I could

I would caress your cheek

all night long.



If I could

I would get close to your ear

I would whisper softly

"Happy anniversary, Dear"



I LOVE YOU KAREBEAR! so so so so much:kiss :bigkiss :flower :heart

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR



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 Post subject: Re: OGM!? a new poem?
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2003 1:04 am 
Like your poetry a lot,good contrasts :)

Congrats on your one year anniversary :clap





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 Post subject: im late im late
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2003 8:42 pm 
-kisses Jayma- baby i love the poem and i love you this is sort of late -pouts- ill make it up to you anyway you want i could make a list of things you may want but ill just let you tell me -kisses you again- Happy Anniversary Darling. I love you so much Darling

I love you now and forever and a week



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 Post subject: Re: im late im late
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 1:54 am 
fairydust :bigwave Aww :heart That was a lovely poem :clap And congrats on your one year anniversary with Karen :D

Cassie





I don't mind being alone

I just don't want to be alone without you







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 Post subject: Re: im late im late
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2003 12:19 am 
Ok, well...today, for my women's health class we had to take a feild trip *rolls eyes*...stuck on a bus for 2 hours of my day with 30 people i cant stand, especially people who constantly ask me questions "What cd are you listening to?" "Who's Janis Joplin?" "Why are you always writing" and the ever popular "You're a lesbian...right?" :mad - not that much fun...*screams in a mad fit* but, i did get a poem written...



The Angel I Despise



A million pieces of glass

is what you turned my heart into.

A million times I wish I'd said,

"I despise you."



But I keep you around

and can't let you go.

And everytime I see you

I want you to know -



You broke me down,

you made me hurt.

You're a pile of shit

under a pile of dirt.



An Angel of death

in a life of disgust;

You think you have everything,

but you lost my trust.



I tried my hardest,

but still I hurt,

even though I know

you're just a fucking flirt.



Glass under my nails

and sand in my eyes;

I want you to know,

you're the Angel I despise.





okies...thats it...hey mick...guess who its for *giggles*



~Jayma Faye~

I LOVE MY KARE-BEAR

Edited by: fairydust  at: 11/27/03 2:39 pm


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 Post subject: Re: im late im late
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2003 12:50 am 
Good poem :)



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 Post subject: Re: im late im late
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2003 8:08 pm 
So, hmmm... :hmm who could it be. :wink



Hi Jayma! :D



-Mickie

Be happy people. Happy people don't self destruct.
-Cyndi Lauper



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 Post subject: Re: im late im late
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 1:10 am 
Mickie you are such a spaz j/k...as for the poem well we know what im going to do abt that-evil smirk- ...honey i love you and i think i have some poems for the threads -does lil dance- i got creative and im working on something else too...:sh

I Love you Jayma

I love you now and forever and a week



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