Crazy. Ass. Dream.
I dreamt we wanted to go to the beach, but all of our towels were wet from the pool. I was pissed because my Mom didn't hang them up to dry, she just tossed them on the floor of the laundry room. She told me to chill, that she'd take care of it and then we would plenty of towels for everyone. About thirty minutes later I sent my daughter to get them out of the dryer. Which just happened to be in the bed of my truck. The dryer took up the entire bed, it was huge but the front loading door was still the same size as normal. My daughter, Jordan, goes and pulls out a few towels and several of her new brightly colored swimsuits. She starts babbling about how she got them at Ron Jon's over the summer and they came in sets of three. Typical of my kid, she left a trail of clothes behind her on the floor. So I got on her about leaving clean clothes all over the floor...which by this time had turned into the beach parking lot. I followed the trail picking them up as I went until it led me back to the dryer/truck bed. When I got there, there was STILL a small pile of wet towels on the ground and I was pissed once again. I think I said something to the effect of, "I can't trust anyone to do anything right! Why the fuck couldn't they just put ALL the towels in like I asked? It's not brain surgery!"
Here's where it gets weird...I go to pull the rest of the dry stuff out and there's a spider web across the opening. Not just any spider wed, but a thick web with a huge nasty Black Widow right smack in the middle. So, I totally freaked and yelled at Jordan, "How did you get through the web to get your stuff out of the dryer? You could have been bitten! Didn't you see it or feel it?" "What web?" She replied. By the time I looked back at the web, there was 3 or 4 smaller males scurrying around fixing the damaged web and trapping the towels in the dryer. I said out loud, "Shit, someone give me something to kill them with!" And this random guy appears out of nowhere and tell me I can't kill her because she's protected. He said before I do anything I need to call and have someone from the EPA come out and decide if I could kill it or not. So I closed the door and turned on the dryer. He shook his head and said, "Now you've done it, the heat just makes them bigger." Sure enough, I shut off the dryer, open the door and she's twice as big as before. "Fuck the EPA! I need to spray it with something and kill it now!" So I picked up the only thing with in reach and began to spray it, except I was actually spritzing it with perfume. My wife, who was suddenly there and shaking her head, says..."You're not gonna kill her with that, all it's gonna do is make her smell good and attract more males."
Seriously? lol I look over and sure enough...MORE FUCKING SPIDERS!!! Now I'm really starting to panic because I feel something on my foot. It's a spider, of course and I start jumping and kicking. That's when I woke up...kicking like crazy and pushing myself up the bed; sheets, blankets and pillows flying in all directions. My wife was like, "What the hell?!" Spider! Spider in the bed!! "There's no spider, you were dreaming." No! I'm telling you there's a Black Widow in the bed! "The only widow in this bed is gonna be me after I kill you for waking me up."
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Shelby -
Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) /
Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) /
The Santa Line /
Everything She Does...Is Beautiful /
Calfornia Grass"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are