Hi There,
I remember you from that incredible post you left on The Moment of Truth Thread. I always wondered about your girl from what you said last time. Your lady sounds similar to me or more like who I was. The first and big thing is that she needs to do some personal house cleaning. As long as she is surrounded by any negative energy it will make it difficult for her to work on making herself a better person. I am referring to her mother. I know it is easier said then done, but she needs to be away from her. Staying in a hostile environment feeds your depression. If she wishes to continue having a relationship with her mother she may do it from afar. If that isn't enough then she needs to cut her off. This will not make her a bad person. This will simply mean she is taking charge of her life. One as a person has no obligation to keep anyone in their lives if all they do is cause them pain. I don't care if they are family. Being family with more reason should love and support each other not destroy and hurt each other. It will be hard but for the best. One of the best gifts one can give to oneself is letting go of all the negativity in your life. Depression can be a hard thing if you don't do something to overcome it. It can consume you. It is up to her to keep feeding into it or start taking charge of her life.
I am responding all mixed up with what you said, but I felt compelled to write what I wrote first. About her eating disorder. I may be mistaken, but this sounds like her escape. Her outlet. Some of us cut ourselves, do drugs, alcohol, sex or whatever feels good for us to escape. It sounds crazy but it is a safety net. When all else fails guess what? These negative escapes are always there. So it may feel comforting to one. In this case it is her eating disorder. It is the one thing she can control the way she wants to. When things are bad she always has that. She knows no different until she wants to see and know different.
The almost or maybe you wanna call it sexual abuse. I rather not say anything here where everyone can see cos this is a sensative subject. I don't want to say the wrong thing. If you want my input on the matter feel free to PM me. I personally never was sexually abused hard core, but just like your girl I went through a situation. In my case I was rubbed up from behind by a man who had is private part exposed and I felt it, but nothing more happened. Luckily it was cause someone came home and he left me alone. As I said if that is the only incident she went through I will give you my input and feelings regarding that.
You being there is wonderful amazing even, but she needs to do things on her own too. She can't always count on you to be there cos you won't be able to. At the end of the day it is her and her alone. No matter where she's at in this world it is the saying me, myself and I. Whatever she feels she may need to work on sit down and figure out how. Also have her invest more time and effort in her interests and things she loves. I am sure there are some positive things that she likes to do that can be uplifting. I mean something more then YOU!
Maybe you can even do them together. Believe me once she starts getting rid of the bad. Letting go of her heartaches and pains the healing process can fully begin. She will learn to love herself. I am able to say all this to you because believe me my life has been hard. The hardest thing in my life was....ME! I had to realize and accept that I couldn't always blame others for having a messed up life. I had to learn and live life on my own and take responsibilty for my actions on my own. It is easy to say oh this person hurt me so I will hurt myself by doing something destructive. The challenging part is to face it and deal with it in a different way that isn't destructive. Once she starts taking better care of herself believe me I promise all good things and people will follow. Take this from what a dear and loving person calls me The Wounded Healer. If there is more I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask.
Paz y amor for you and your love!
Jenny B