Letters to the Universe

MelCar19 · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2012 4:17 am

Dear Universe,

Please, just stop fucking with me... I need to get off this emotional rollercoaster but I want to get off with you. I'm either extremely happy or extremely sad, lately. I am never content. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to and will not give up. Not now, I have to much to fight for. -You- give me to much to fight for. I remember the good times and whether you believe it, or think it, the out rule the bad. We've both done bad in this relationship. We've both done real bad, but the fact is neither of us wants to give up. That's got to mean something. That's got to mean we belong together, even if it takes a long time for us to really BE together. I can't stand the distance between us but I know it's there for a reason. I just wish... UGH.

Sincerely,
A fucked up person

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Mon May 07, 2012 10:17 pm

Dear person,

You mean so much to me. Having you in my life means so much to me. I want to love you forever. But I'm still scared of wanting too much, wanting more than you're ready for and scaring you away. But slowly, I'm starting to trust that you want the same things I do, and it feels wonderful. I wish our life together could start *now*, not in 4 years. I know that it can't, but I wish so much that I could see you everyday. I can't wait to share my life with you. I know it'll be a long time in coming, but I know that you're worth it. Whether we're friends or parents, I want to share my life with you forever. I'll wait as long as it takes, 1000 years if I have to, just like our favourite Centurian, because the day I get to come home to you will make it all worth it.

With love,
Your person

JustSkipIt · **Posted:** Sat May 19, 2012 4:28 am

Dear Universe,
Thank you. I don't think I say thank you enough. I am so blessed. Thank you for my family, my children, our health, all the abundance in our lives.

Thank you.

Finey_McFine · **Posted:** Sat May 19, 2012 4:44 am

Dear Universe,

Please grant me the patience not to physically injure a member of my family today.

Thank you.

JustSkipIt · **Posted:** Tue May 22, 2012 3:40 pm

Dear Universe,
Please help me. Please take this stress. Please help me to be helpful. Please help me free my heart from anger and resentment. Please help me feel healthy and strong.

Debra

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Tue May 22, 2012 7:56 pm

Dear Universe,

Thank you. Thank you for my life, and my girl. Thank you for family and friends, for my job, for my hopes and dreams, and most of all thank you for all the tomorrows with her.

BeneathMyWillowTree · **Posted:** Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:06 am

Dear Universe,

I need to express how grateful I am to be surrounded by so much love. To be granted the opportunities of not only giving but receiving. These last few weeks have been overwhelming but nothing I couldn't handle. As time continues to pass on I realize how much I truly mean to people. My life is so rich. The beauty by which I see life in is everyday. The opportunity to be able to pass that along to someone else I appreciate. With these gifts you present to me universe it only means I am doing your bidding. To allow people to see what I see. Thank you for granting me patience, strength and hope to continue on. To not stop being ME.

Con Mucho Amor,
Jen

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:06 pm

Dear Universe,

Thank you for her. Thank you for bring her into my life. I don't know how I got so lucky or what I did to deserve to be with such an amazing woman. I honestly thought... I had one big love, and that was it for my life. But here I am in love again, with someone who loves me, someone who wants a life with me. It's going to be hard, building the life we want, but I know it's worth it. I know I won't give up. You have given me another chance, another chance at love and partnership and having someone by my side through all life's rough patches, and I'm going to do everything I can to not screw it up this time. Thank you for letting me find someone who wants to try with me, someone who believes in us. There are so many good things in my life, and I feel so blessed, but for nothing more than for knowing and loving her. Please help this love last.

Thanks for everything,
~Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:05 pm

Dearest love,

Please love me. Please don't give up on me. I know I'm asking too much. I know it's too much, but it's what I need, and I truly am sorry. I can't be your secret, hidden away like something shameful. Please love me anyway. Please let us be okay; please talk to me if we're not so we can get there. Remember our life together, all our plans, and know that we're worth it. Maybe it's not fair of me to ask you to talk to your parents, to push you for a disclosure you're not ready for me, but it's not fair of you to ask me to live a lie. One of us had to give, and a big part of me wishes I could have been the one, but I just couldn't this time. Please love me anyway. Please don't change the way you feel about me. I love you and I want a life with you. I want our kids and our house and our wedding and our pets and our trips; I want to stalk Doctor Who sets and fly kites on Mt. Kilimanjaro and sneak into your surgeries and find a stuffed badger, and the thousand other little things we've planned, no matter how big or small or ridiculous.
Please remember all we have ahead, and believe in us.

Please believe in me.

With all my love,
Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:30 am

Dear person,

I'm glad you came back. I hope you know I will always be glad of that, and glad that I was with you in spirit through that day. I and my sentiments probably mean nothing to you, but you will never mean nothing to me. I'm glad I knew you. I'm glad I had the chance to love you; in some ways I know I always will. Thank you for letting me in your life, way back then; I wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't know if it would make things better or worse, or change nothing at all, to know I'm thinking of you today. I know you can only remember the bad, but I'm remembering the good, because there was good that day too. If I were still in your life, I'd say something cliche like "I'll remember for both of us," but I lost that right a long time ago. Now I'll simply say, I have the right to remember too, and the universe deserves a little gratitude so I'll send some.

You said once that you came back for me, but you came back for yourself, and that's a million times better.

I'm glad you came back.

Sincerely,
Someone who will never forget

Gaga01 · **Posted:** Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:47 pm

Hey, Universe;

Sometimes I wonder......is this all happening, or rather, not happening just for your amusement's sake? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for being healthy, and for who I am and what I've achieved so far, but......sometimes I wish, I really, really, really wish that I didn't have to go through everything alone all the time. I mean, is this some kind of torture you're putting me through just to see how long it'll take before I snap? You gave me a taste of what my life could be back when I went to CA a few months ago. You gave me, and showed me things I never thought would be possible. not by a looooooooong shot. but here I am, four months later...and feeling so hopeless and exhausted, physically and mentally, and I honestly what to do anymore. I am trying. I really am. Not getting a follow-up from LA, that I get. It was a long shot and I thought, "I'm throwing myself out there" (not that way, but on a professional way). I'm glad I had the guts to do it. Is this why you gave me that day? To show me I had to do that more? I get it, I really do. But is it sooo hard to ask for a little hand? A little pick me up? I'm so tired, I'm not sure how to get back to what I could have, or if there's a point to it anymore.......My heart and soul aren't playgrounds for you to break and trample, please...please give me something concrete, something positive I can look forward to; something worth looking and working for...

JustSkipIt · **Posted:** Sun Aug 05, 2012 6:42 pm

Dear Universe,
please help my son. Help us with him. I know part of the issue is the med change but he seems to be... A mess. I want him to be healthy and happy and be able to grow up and go to school and get a job and even a family. Please help.

Debra

JustSkipIt · **Posted:** Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:45 am

Dear Universe,
I feel concerned and worried. Please help the people of this country to make a mature and healthy decision in this election. Allow our choices to be driven by love and a desire to help rather than hatred and greed. Allow us to make the choices that will bring our country the greatest health. Help people to see and hear clearly.

Debra

Kessari · **Posted:** Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:10 pm

Dear Universe,

thank you for screwing me over once more. Thank you for blessing me with friends, that keep breaking promises. Thank you for blessing me with a mother, who can destroy the best day I had since my best friend boarded a plane home in early July by just a few words and make it my fault. Thank you for slowly taking the thing away from me that matters most to me and excuse me for sounding ungrateful, because right now I'm just to tired to f****** care!

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:08 pm

Dear Universe,
Thank you for all that is good in my world. I have so much to be thankful for these days, it still amazes me at times. Please help me to keep my gratitude in mind even when things go wrong, or when I'm nervous or scared. Please help me to hold onto the good, and continue to appreciate my life as I do now.

With love and gratitude,
Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:48 pm

Dear Universe,
Please help this love stay true. It really is one of the best things I've ever known, and I don't ever want to be without it again. I don't ever want to be without *her* again. I am excited for all that's coming, but I'm scared too. Please help me keep my nerves in check, and help it all work out. This world needs all the love it can get, so please help this love last.

With sincerest gratitude and hope for the future,
Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:36 pm

Dear Universe,

Help us to heal. Some damage was done today, and I just need us to be okay, to come out the other side stronger. Please help me to figure out how to make things better between us without compromising myself and my own needs, and please help her to do the same. I won't let go of this love or this woman or this relationship, but please let that be a good thing.

~Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:12 pm

Dear Universe,
I'm a couple days late, but I wanted to give thanks (especially because I'm grumpy today, and it would do me good to take a few minutes to thing about happy things). Thank you for my girlfriend, for bringing her into my life and for all the strength and love and joy she gives me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go be with her. Thank you for my friends; though there are few they give me so much support and love. Thank you for my mum. Thank you for my work with children, for the opportunity to be part of their lives and to have a positive impact. Thank you for rain and clouds and fog and wind and cool breezes. Thank you for trees and flowers and grass. Thank you for giving me a whole body and a whole mind. Thank you for all the works of art that have shaped my life, especially Doctor Who and Buffy, as they have led me to so many other things, like the kitten and my girlfriend and dear friends and my roommate and so many experiences I wouldn't be me without.

Thank you.

~Jas

sweet satin lover · **Posted:** Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:11 pm

Dear universe please give me the strength to overcome this. I have overcome so many things in my life, I know many of us have hard lives but when he gets like this please give me the power to not absorb what he says, let his words and anger be like rain and let them slide off me without any effect, I know this is a big ask but I just want this to stop. I know I can be a b*tch but 99% of the time I mean no harm and I do good to those who are good to me but please universe I just want this to stop no matter what I do he will never respect me and I am over that but to be told things which are so horrible that I come home and want to go to bed thats not healthy or good for me. I cant believe that even a simple innocent "why did you say that like that?" could lead to so many unprovoked nasty comments he gets to me through my family and then forbids me to call them by threatening me if there is a message in this universe please let me learn it quickly and let these bad times pass quickly. I do not forget that I have good things in my life too and for those things I am forever grateful I just wish that this was easier too.

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:04 pm

Dear Universe,
Thank you. I don't think I will ever be done thanking you for bringing her into my life. No matter what happens, even if it doesn't last forever (which I know would break my hearts), I can't imagine ever being anything short of immensely grateful for knowing and loving her.

With sincerest gratitude,
Jas

BeneathMyWillowTree · **Posted:** Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:51 am

Querida Universo,

Muchas gracias por tu fe y confianza. Ya se que algunas cosas han sido dificiles. A pesar de todo estoy muy agradecida por todo lo que me has dado.

Con Mucho Alegria,
Jen

PS - I had to say it in Spanish for it had more meaning for me to tell you this way. Sometimes I feel it's more profound for me to say things in Spanish.

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:04 pm

Dear someone,
I don't know how I ever convinced myself that I had forgiven you, or ever could. I don't know how I let you back into my life. I realized the other day that the wound you dealt me-- the biggest one, for there were many-- still hurts. You made a scar on my soul, and you inflicted the pain through your lies. It was the greatest betrayal I have ever known, and you are not forgiven.
The scar fades slowly. A day will come, probably years from now, when my kids are strong and happy and I'm settled in my life, when the memory no longer breaks me. Maybe someday it won't even hurt. But it will not undo the pain you dealt.

I don't wish you ill. There is an unkind part of me that would wish you to bear the same scar, but in the end I only really want you to be a better person than you were then. I do not want you to suffer, but nor do I wish you well. I refuse to give in to my vindictive side, and I won't hope you know my pain. But though I do not wish the pain upon you, you are not forgiven for it.

You are not forgiven.

Boschi · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:45 pm

Yo. Whatever the hell is out there.

Just a little note to say that the two women in my life (partner and mom) are both a little down right now. Justifiably caught in their own worlds. And they get this, to their credit. But fuck all, I'm having a few "lame as it is, please can I be the center of the universe for just a wee bit? Just a little wee bit?" Yes, the other narcissist in the room would like a moment....

sweet satin lover · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:16 pm

I'm really lonely. Its at night when it hits me most, before bedtime. I am so grateful for the things I have in my life believe me I wake up every day and thank you for my life and my family in particular my mum and Lisa, and that although I have leg isssues, I am glad that I can walk and that I am ok. I am grateful for my flat and for my beautiful Lilly, for the ability to write and for the friends I have. But I am really really lonely, not through choice. I don't understand why you would give me something that was so amazing and beautiful and make me the happiest I have ever been and then take it away from me, there is obviously a lesson in this but universe I am strong enough don;'t you think. The things I have been through in my life have made me grow up so fast, please give me a break. I just miss it all so much. I am heartbroken on so many levels. I want to love and be loved again. I know the universe has a plan for me I just don't know what it is. Please tell me soon.

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:15 pm

Dear Universe,

Thank you. It's been a hard road the last week or two, but things are getting better and I think it's all going to be okay. More than okay. Thank you for this life, this love, this girl. And please help tomorrow go okay; help me keep my nerves in check and just... help it all work out. Please. We need this. We need it to be okay.

With gratitude and help,
Jas

sweet satin lover · **Posted:** Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:58 am

Thank you for giving me the family I have and the friends I have and the love in my heart I have for everyone in my life.Thank you for giving me the best sister in the world someone who I can rely on and trust.

BeneathMyWillowTree · **Posted:** Fri Feb 08, 2013 12:08 am

Dear Universe,

I have looked over my agenda for this year and it wasn't until now that I've truly reflected on it. I am grateful for all the possibilities that have turned into realities. I don't question myself. I don't question whether I deserve all the wonderful things that have been happening for me this year. I know better then that. Sometimes it's hard to believe this is me, this is my life.

It's funny cos some of my friends have teased me in calling me some kind of hippy or hobo because of the way I life. LOL. Nothing is out of people's grasps. Everything is there for us to have. It's a mater of making the most out of anything and everything. It's like having a crappy car compared to the Ferrari that someone else has. What do I care because they both will take you to where you need to go. In the end if they both fail to work, I can walk or even run to where I need to get to. The point being I sit down and reflect on all the good. I don't have a heavy heart. For this I am grateful to you universe. Thank you for the continued opportunities you present in front of me. Thank you for all the people that are in my life at the moment. Thank you for allowing me to reconnect with some people that were lost from me, but we have found our way back to each other. Thank you for filling my heart with love.

With much gratitude,
Jen

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:01 am

Dear person,

I am so glad I knew you. I wish I could tell you that, but you've made it clear that you don't want to hear from me. All the same, I hope you know that... I'm glad you happened to me. Even with all the pain, even with the way things ended, even with my whole life getting utterly fucked up to the point I have no clue how to fix it, I'm happier than I can possibly say that you were in my life. I loved you, as much as I have ever loved anything, and I will never regret that. You were... the best part of my world, probably the best thing I've ever known. I am really, really sad that it ended, that I don't have you in my life and will probably never talk to you again, that if I see you at a Con someday you'll probably turn away, that I can't share things with you anymore or hear about your days, that I won't get to see you go on your adventures and meet life head on and achieve all the amazing things I'm sure you have in store, and I am sad to know that you don't think well of me, but I am so so happy that for a little while I belonged to you. Even if you were never mine as I believed, I was yours, and I loved you the best I could, even though it wasn't enough in the end. It was the best year of my life so far, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

With love, always,
~Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:19 am

Dearest Brother,

Wherever you are, whatever happens after you die... You are missed. You are loved. You are remembered.

Always.

Your loving little sister,
Jas

CrazyTaraWitch · **Posted:** Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:43 pm

Dear strangers,

Thanks for trying to offer me rides. Having people pull over in the pouring rain on the highway wanting to help me... it gave me hope. I probably seemed ungrateful, walking away and near ignoring all of you, but I wasn't. I don't trust any stranger enough to get in their car, but I still appreciate each of you that wanted to help. It makes me smile, to know that there are people in the universe who would go out of their to help a cold, wet stranger walking on the side of the road.

Thank you.

The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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