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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:45 am 
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9. Gay Now
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Location: Athens, Georgia
Alright. I've got this advisor in the education department that I've had for the past year. He's nice, but one of those people who's very absent-minded. I never had a problem with him until about 3 months ago. I had to apply for my student teaching this past semester, and he informed me that I should speak to him about the application near the end of October. So, I go to speak to him, and he freaks out and said I should have come to him, wait for it, in August! I freak out, he tells me that I can just go online to the education website and fill out the application (exact words, no specifics).

I go to the website, find the application after a half an hour of searching, print out the application and fill it out. I go back the next day and give it to the counselor who handles student teaching. Two days later I get a call telling me that I needed to have the form typed out, even though nothing on the site stated that, and my advisor certainly didn't tell me. But fine, I go back, type the form, bring it in the next day.

But the fun isn't over. Two days later, another call. This one saying I have to get a background check, which my adivosr also failed to mention. I go online, pay the $50 for the check (pricey), and wait not so patiently for another call that says maybe I need to go to Africa, kill an elephant, and bring it's tusks back in order to student teaching. Fortunately, the call never came.

Unfortunately, an e-mail did. About two weeks ago, I got an e-mail from the person responsible for placing student teachers. They said they were having a little bit of a delay placing me, but that it would be worked out by the time school began. So, just to make sure everything was alright, I e-mailed the person placing me and my advisor. They both said it would be fine.

Yesterday, I e-mailed my advisor again, saying that I would talk to him about it during the meeting tomorrow, but just to tell him I still didn't have a placement. And that's when he decided to screw me over. Today I got an e-mail saying that they couldn't place me where I requested, and while they were currently looking at other counties, he suggested that I could just work in a middle school instead of a high school, as completing my requirements were more important than getting placed in a high school.

Now, I agree that completing my requirements is more important than getting placed in a high school. What I don't get, and what I'm so very pissed about, is that I'm paying for his mistakes. If he'd told me the right deadlines in the first place, I'd be happily awaiting my first day of student teaching in a high school by now. And I know this rant was long, but damn it, this is my future.

~Sara

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:32 am 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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In January has started a law voted last year. It is an imperfect law, kinda unfair. The problem is, it concerns the Health department. One of the people who should have a special treatment don't. So some of them decided to go on strike. On strike of health care and treatments. Several person suffering of HIV and one or several diabets have decided to stop all treatments; Some person suffering cancer(s) are talking about stopping their meds and treatments too. Until the law is changed. The problem is, nobody cares except their loved ones.
If they die nothing will change because if something goes wrong, the president just needs to show up somewhere with his singer/model girlfriend and people will just forget and be happy.
If tomorrow all those people die, they'll have a little column about their death and their fight, and He will have three whole pages telling about his last shopping trip in the very expensive stores on the Champs elysées.
This is sad, and this is pissing me off. And Roselynn Bachelot saying about the first who did this "He should not attempt to his Health, his insurance will pay back this" must have forgotten to read her law. :happy

I just want to scream in frustration.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:39 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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I am so mad right now I could spit :crash

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:41 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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I don't know if this is going to reach the proportions of a rant of just a complaint. Let me give some background. I work for a state agency. We have two teams within the IT department. I work for the programming branch and the other team does network service and supports third party software (things like Microsoft office products). This summer we had a consultant. It was pretty obvious that her true intention was to cut our staff and save $ and she did just that. She also made a number of suggestions (some good, some bad, and some neutral). One of her suggestions was that support for a particular third party very important software product within our organization move from the network services branch to our team, mainly to me with a team supporting me.

It's a pain in the ass and takes me away from programming which is #1 what I'm good at and #2 what they pay me for. The upside has been that it's very visible so people know who I am and appreciate me (although not financially yet).

Well, we're working on how to communicate within and without the team. And our org. has a computer help desk. Now all calls are routed to the HD and they route calls to us. They are now taking over doing all the easy stuff: audit setup, archive, easy fixes and only going to pass on hard stuff to us. What's my problem? They'll get the glory and thanks for doing something helpful and I'll be remembered as the person who can't fix the issue (since it's not my issue really). I'll end up just getting frustrated. I tried to broach this to my team leader as a matter of wanting "successes" for our team but he either didn't want to fight this fight or just didn't care. I don't know which and since I'm on maternity leave, I'm not there to talk to his boss about it.

Arggghhh.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:30 pm 
I dont know what the fuck is going on with the internet now?


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:13 pm 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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Why the fuck my mother always gets like that. everytime we're with her family. when she needs me to be strong I'm the rock, I'm the one who keep everything together, when she doesn't need me she picks on me, and trears me like a kid. she keeps thing from me, just because I didn't tell her ONE thing of my damn life, just because she feels like I don't trust her now she makes stupid speeches and about how she would keep things from me. shit that's so...crap,I hate it when it's all like this. and I'm nothing but plain Jay, the best when needed the worst the rest of the time, the one to ask for when you need help for school the one to blame when something's wrong. damnit it's not like I ever asked for anything but a bit of trust, not like I asked for lives or anything. I just wanted to know that I'm worth it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:18 pm 
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3. Flaming O

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:25 pm
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Location: birkenhead, merseyside, uk
had a really wtf weekend......... started friday night when i started coming down with a cold (which is the simple part). Then woke up saturday morning, gf's car had been stolen, here's where it gets complicated cos
1 it was my gf's grandads car (he passed away last year so there's alot of sentimental value)
2 the car was going to the scrap yard and she'd just come to terms with that (see above)
3 when it had been found the insurance had ran out so had to call RAC to tow it
4 and then her new car broke down this morning
so as you can see WTF


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:01 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Location: Virginia/Ohio
For the past year, everyone I know has been utterly convinced that I'm madly in love with someone I shared a... very tense relationship with. As in, we hated each other.

And now I find myself living the cliche, stepping into Pride and Prejudice, and I HATE IT!!!!! Not only am I proving them all right, I am falling in love with someone who is a.) completely unobtainable, and b.) annoys the hell out of me!!! WHY?!

Gah. Got that out of the system.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:34 pm 
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16. Pancakes in Bellies
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WiccanHandprintz wrote:
For the past year, everyone I know has been utterly convinced that I'm madly in love with someone I shared a... very tense relationship with. As in, we hated each other.

And now I find myself living the cliche, stepping into Pride and Prejudice, and I HATE IT!!!!! Not only am I proving them all right, I am falling in love with someone who is a.) completely unobtainable, and b.) annoys the hell out of me!!! WHY?!

Gah. Got that out of the system.


I am not sure you can put a logical spin on things. You will need to find the answer within yourself. Best of luck.

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Last edited by Pinocchio1940 on Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:57 am 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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that's so not fair why do I get to be spoken to just when needed and the rest of time I'm shit
and okay my best friend has a gf now but we used to be attacched to the hip now he keeps things from me and that's okay but some of that could have got me in trouble his mother and his stepfather adore me but he was an ass and I almost got kicked in the butt from both of them coz I helped him, to do what I found out just months later and that thing could be some major trouble
and then my classmate the one beside me god she's such a bitch god she made my life a hell the past two years and now she asks me how to fuck a guy so she can go and act as the grown up with her boyf and she tells me that I mustn't speak and then she banter on and on
and that other bitch she's nothing but a stupid I could eat her like nothing I could answer back to every shit she says but if I do I'm wrong cos I should be more mature if I don't do I should have cos she thinks she's right and that she can shut me up
and my father boy what wouldn't I do to be more mature so I could just ignore him but NO I have to submit myself cos he's the father but I shouldn't care about what he says, but damnit he's my father I love him
shit I want it back the way things were

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:49 pm 
Fuck the guys who are selling by the internet now they tell me where i live they dont think is what i say, so they cant send the keyboard as I want it, :happy if i get to find it in other place at a good price i will cancel it


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:31 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Location: Texas, Y'all
My work has these new HR policies. Well, I've been on maternity leave. I can in 1/2 day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and have been home since then with everyone in the family (including me) sick. I got a note from my boss yesterday saying that it was due yesterday. Then one today from an HR flunkey. Jesus Christ. What part of home sick doesn't make sense?

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:05 am 
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3. Flaming O

Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:30 pm
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Location: Kentucky is home, ohio is shelter
OK this is my first post in the rant thread
I recently moved back home which i was happy to do i hated where i lived, i hated my moms new boyfriend but mostly i hated the fact that i had no other option but as any one with a brain would have guessed mom and her boyfriend broke up around Christmas time and we moved back to Kentucky, we moved into my uncles house which is where i have lived as long as i can remember , well while me and mom were gone he started drinking again and he is not a fun drunk, he is the i need to run and hide type, and he drinks more on the weekends because my mom likes to take off to Cincinnati every weekend to go see her other boyfriend who she was seeing when she got with the other guy, but she is taking things slow with she don't want to rush into things again, so she lives me home with the drunk so this weekend i decided to miss the superbowl so i can go to my sisters house to get away from Anthony, and well i love my sister i really do but she is a bloody idiot her and her husband bought a house about a year ago, they have never had the house to themselves they have always had someone living here with them including me but i had no choice my mom took off and left one morning telling me she is going to get coffee and she never came back, she moved to whole new state so i had no option and well i am not a wanted criminal or a druggie, but anyway, my sister sam and her husband paul have 3 kids, paul gets up at 6 in the morning and usally don't get home until 9 at night 6 days a week my sister sits at home and does nothing her house is a complete mess let me give you a idea of how bad it is, i had seizure awhile ago and sam jessica moe AND the paramedics had to throw stuff out of the way just to get the stretcher in. so my sister sits at home all day and does nothing pauls cousin and girlfriend do nothing but make a bigger mess and im sure they have some kind of std because they are nasty people, about 6 months ago probably more the discorved black mode in the kids bathroom they have done nothing about it they spent all there tax refund on junk they don't need, so everytime i come over here to get away from my mentally unhealthy home i walk to into a physically unhealthy home my throat hurts, i've been here and i have thrown up, my ears are killing me and i have never had trouble with my ears before so now what do i do go back to my drunk uncles or stay at my sisters house until it kills me, and her kids who all under the age of four i really want to call CPS or something and have them take the kids just so they can stay healthy but that would be a huge betrayal to my family but they never really done much for me and i have first hand experience on how CPS works and it bad and i don't these kids to go through what went through with the government, if the wrong or should i say right person walks in this house will be condemned without a second glance, but i am going to end this rant because me and paul are going to attempt to do something to this house he should not have to do it by himself.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:55 pm 
We currently have two psychologists attached to the Unit where I work; One of them is my best buddy from school and the other is a young woman who can't stand me though I still have not fathomed why.

So, she tends to come up with these discreet psychological games to ensure pain. The most common one has been to start a gossip thread amongst those colleagues who are closest to me.
- As such, she makes sure I'm not here, makes an outburst about something in our working or inexistent personal relationship that has pissed her off and struts about telling the whole building that "I'm so gonna get it from her''.
- The next morning, she's all sweet and caring with me.
- The day after that, she meets up with my best friend and provides an explicit description of her behaviour which she herself qualifies as machiavellian in nature, thus ensuring that I'm getting an earful of that.

Too much gossip-mongering going on in that Unit – it's exasperating!!

She apparently prefers the snowball effect to direct confrontation as confrontation would imply an expression of anger while the snowball effect assures her that I'm having my head bludgeoned with baffling questions.

Quite fed up with the situation and for once, monday morning, she's the one who's finally gonna get it!


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:22 am 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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I dont see my son much but when I do the first thing out of his mouth is loan me money. it must come natural cause even after we divorced till this day actuality his dad does the same thing and he makes around 80,000 what do I look like a fucking bank folks............I gave it to him my son that is but hell I dont give my ex shit.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:40 am 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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In class we've got to do a group work for maths
the teacher let us do the pairings
of course I asked to be with my best friend from class, my oldest and dearest friend, and my other oldest and best friend
not only cos of the friend thing but cos they're good nice and we work together really good
but, that shit of my mate decided she wanted to be with them too, but the groups are of 4 people
my best friend being her best friend too or something like that, my oldest friend being the only girl that she thinks at the same level {high level to be exact} my other oldest friend being the best of the class
now I know I don't have the right to intrude but I'm fed up wit her, I'm tired of being treated like shit
and is not like I'm not good, cos I'm one of the best in class at maths, but hey, she thinks I'm a shit
god I'm so tired of her and I can't do anything cos what could I do?
tell her stop it?
like she would listen or I could say to her everything I'm better than her, like boys tp start, like relationships to continue, like some of the school subjects, but I can't even say I'm a better person cos I really feel I'm a shit lately, everythng's going wrong, everything I do turns out fucked up and everytime is my fault cos they decided it to be
l can't even say I'm smarter cos I'm really acting like a jerk, I can't even say I'm cuter more beautiful or anything cos....shit I can't believe she makes me feel like this is not like I ever cared, but damnit what if what she says is true what if I'm really a bad person and I don't even know it I just go on and on making mistakes and fucking everything up
I don't know anymore who am I I never showed anyone my true self and now I'm afraid l'm losing it I don't know how to be a girl cos I was forced to be more grown up I can't even be a grown up cos I'm too immature damnit I just want to be me and I don't know how to do it

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:31 pm 
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17. Mega-Witches
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Location: Austin, TX
So, my current job search, along with the oh-so-fun experiences that looking for employment always brings, has people looking me up by my social security number, and thus finding my old name.

My old, pre-transition name.

And so I'm having to explain very politely to people that yes, that was me, no, I got my name legally changed years back, no, please don't refer to me by that name or fer god's sake gender, OK? Yes, I'll happily bring in my paperwork...

And all the while I'm wincing every time it's spoken, thinking, 'you know, I really thought I wouldn't ever have to be referred to like that again...' and fighting the urge to just hang up and move on to something else.

Yeesh.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:18 pm 
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13. Big Knowledge Woman
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This is going to be pretty light as far as rants go, not really personal or angsty ... but it's something that bothers me and this seems like the best place to post about it.

Yesterday was Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Anyone out there celebrate it? Nope, me neither. Is it my imagination, or did we not at one time used to get that day off as a holiday? I know we used to get Washington's Birthday off, but somewhere along the way the two holidays got combined and we're left with the generic (and woefully uninspiring) President's Day. President's Day?? We're erasing the names of two of the greatest Americans that ever lived, easily two of the greatest leaders we've ever had, and lumping them in with every other average, below average, and sometimes downright piss-poor President that's ever held the Office?

For shame.

Now, don't get me wrong - this isn't a political rant. Whoever you like or dislike is your own business; I can honestly say I'm not in the least bit interested in your politics, whatever they are. Not.in.the.least. This is a rant against mediocrity, against always having to bring things down to the lowest common denominator. By celebrating a generic President's Day, you're equating a President like Franklin Pierce with George Washington. Who the hell was Franklin Pierce, anyway? What do Franklin Pierce, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and George W. all have in common? I don't know you or your politics, but I can pretty well guarantee - whoever you are - that some of those names turn your stomach. What is it that all these names have in common? Is it their greatness? Their nobility? Their wisdom? Their representation of all that's best about this country? Nope ... they were all Presidents. That's it. That's the lowest common denominator, the only thing that links these vastly different names together.

That's all we're celebrating on "President's Day." We're not remembering George Washington as the Father of Our Country. We're not remembering the words of Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence. We're not remembering Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation or Gettysburg Address or his death in Ford's Theatre. We're remembering a bunch of old guys, most of them dead, some of whom were great, some of whom were schmucks, and some of whom are (or will be) lucky to even be remembered at all.

And the worst part of all this? The WORST part?

I don't even get President's Day off ...

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:27 am 
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11. Fish in the Bowl
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I don't know what my problem is. It's all there. It's all right fucking there. Why can't I just reach out and grab it. Everything I have ever wanted is right in front of me. The girl of my dreams that is a huge compliment to the way I am and loves me for me not for what I have, or used to. A life that I've been dying for. Every last thing I ever wanted its all right there. So what is stopping me. Why can't I take it all. You fucking idiot. It's all right there and your biggest fear is that its all going to leave you so you aren't even trying. You're letting it pass you by. Stop this bullshit, get a grip. Take it. You deserve it.

writerfreak :flower

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:20 am 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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Location: Halfway to anywhere, citizen of Kitopia
Today we talked about immigration
so that turned in politics
and I say what everyone thinks and knows about Italy: Italian's laws are disgusting and so stupid
Italian law allow a woman who used drugs for most of her life take away from a family its house, a family of three people that lives with only one person's earnings, a family where one person is too young to work and one is ill
Italian law allow criminals not to get whatever they deserve for anything
for each Italian law against crime there are at least two laws that say 'yes but...'
my teacher said that's it's not true
then, after half an hour she said 'you think Italy is great, but it's terrile cos of ...'
what did I say?!
just because I'm not only 50 years younger than you but even only 16 that doesn't mean I don't know about these things maybe I know them more than you do so just shut the hell up

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:42 pm 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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Wow I really post too much here :(



My grandfather died when I was little, and even though he didn't want to 'dirty' his blood line with me {adopted} when he met me for the fisrt time he just adored me, and now he would be proud of me, cos I'm everything he ever wanted his son {my father} to be: musician and a sucker for science and maths {geek :)} but he never had the chance
who was left was a bitch, two bitches, and a jerk
my father's 'family', his mother, his sister and his brother
they are trying to take everything my family worked hard to get, cos they were too stupid and wasted everything they inherited from my gandfather's death
now I think he would have disowned them or even hurt them rather than allow them to touch me
instead we're fighting with them every day to keep at least our pride
yesterday at the bus stop there was my father's sister, I'm pretty sure she saw me, but I sure turned to the other side
I don't wanna her to be near me or my family if she comes near them and tries even to talk I swear I'm gonna beat her down til she remembers nothing but the word mercy
and the borther too is he going to make an appearance? cos I wanna see him in the face before destroying them

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When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. -Arrigo Boito


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:19 am 
THE dog (I adamantly refuse to call him by his name after what happened) went for a night-trip inside the car. He chewed on the seat belts, the steering wheel, and actually managed to bite and pull out one assist strap! The doggy scent and doggy hairs on the seat cushions are not helping in calming the tempest inside.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:18 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Damn you, McDonald's salad! Your lettuce tastes like cardboard! You'd be nothing without your chemical dressing! Nothing! What's your function in life? Well, you lost me forever!

The icecream is pretty good though...


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:39 pm 
Stupid youtibe! I didnt do anything and when i try to log in I get this mesenge
Quote:
Your account has been permanently disabled


I didnt get any email in advice and I didnt do anything wrong! Why the fuck do the disable one account if the user doesnt do anything wrong, and worst without senginan email in adcive?


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:51 pm 
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16. Pancakes in Bellies
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Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:57 am
Posts: 2378
Location: Poulsbo, WA
littlewicca wrote:
Stupid youtibe! I didnt do anything and when i try to log in I get this mesenge
Quote:
Your account has been permanently disabled


I didnt get any email in advice and I didnt do anything wrong! Why the fuck do the disable one account if the user doesnt do anything wrong, and worst without senginan email in adcive?


Have you been posting Willow and Tara videos? They are copyrighted. How does Youtube work?

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Last edited by Pinocchio1940 on Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:53 pm 
I did post, but not episodes, besides if i posted something wrong shouldnt I get an advice? and other thing it has been a long while since I dont upload a video I just had many favourites on it. :happy


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:08 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:54 pm
Posts: 258
Location: St. Mary's City, Maryland, USA
I understand officers being sick and having to miss a meeting, or officers being completely overwhelmed with work and not having time to attend. I can't really hold it against either of them for missing the meeting. I'm just frustrated because two exec board members have told me they can't attend the GSA meeting tonight (although the sick one is going to try and come anyway, bless her, even though I told her to stay in), and the other two have been MIA from all club activity, all semester, with no explanation whatsoever. I will be the only functioning officer there tonight, and it was really important that everyone be there. And this is after I sent a very serious email out to them yesterday asking them to please be present so we could actually get something done.

I can't miss these meetings, because if I don't show up it looks irresponsible, and plus no one knows what to do when I'm not around because I usually lead the discussions. I just hate that everyone else consistently misses meetings and I have to pick up the slack, without any opportunities to take a break from it myself. :(

Off to said meeting now.

Saena

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Jack: I dont know, maybe because bad things keep happening to me?!
-"The Tribe"


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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:09 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:14 am
Posts: 45
Location: Wisconsin
I am a workaholic. I know I am. Everyone I work with knows I am. I work through anything, quite literally. I'll go to work when I have a fever and I'm throwing up, or when I'm injured, or whatever. I am the type of person who works through it all. Until today. For the first time in years I actually felt bad enough that I wanted to go home. Practically begged and pleaded to go home. Do I get to? No. I stay and work. Go in at 5 in the morning, and get off at 1 in the afternoon for a lunch break. I go back at 2. Ugh. I'm starting to regret my work addict ways. It's killing me.

Valkyrie

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:38 pm 
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29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
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Posts: 5069
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Location: Halfway to anywhere, citizen of Kitopia
Doesn't she get it? Can't she just accept it? We both were thrown in a hell of situation, you at 44 me at 10, you were so surprised that the world wasn't that good as you pictured it, I just learnt to accept it and the more I grew the more I could shield myself. Now don't you get it that I grown without you, without my father, with no one that cared about me and helped me through all that? But above all, don't you get it that I don't blame you for this? I don't blame anyone for this, shit happens, and I learnt to deal. I learnt to hide my feelings and myself, cos if you saw the real me you would be so shocked and you would think it's all your fault, and I don't want this, cos it's not your fault, no one here has fault. And you don't know me, but I do know many parts of you, cos I was there, with you, and I learnt how you feel, when you thought no one was looking, I was there to look out for you, to be there for you if you flinched. But no, come to me and tell me that everything I know about you is nothing but a mask, come and say things just to hurt me, cos I never get hurt, I can take everything. Right. How would you feel if I told you how I feel, how would you feel if I told you that tonight I just hoped that car would crash, just to be sure that existed pain deeper than that? How would you feel if I told you everytime I thought I wasn't good enough. that I wasn't worth it? How would you feel if I told you that I don't care anymore, if I told you who is the real me? I know you would blame yourself, cos you didn't see any of it. But I don't want this. It's not your fault. Neither is mine. I didn't tell any of this not cos I wanted to keep you out of my life, like a teenager going through their crisis, but cos I wanted not to be a pain for you. And you come to me and tell me that I'm nothing but a kid? Would you tell me if I spoke my mind about it? I think not. I don't claim to know everything about you, but I know you better than many people.
So have the decence to shut up, and let me go.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rant Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:13 am 
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3. Flaming O

Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 113
Location: Kentucky is home, ohio is shelter
My sister ran off the old today and somehow we ended not flipping when we hit a ditch at least 6 feet deep and it was kind of slanted at first i just thought we just fly over it, but the guy who saw the wreck told us its a good thing we did not hit the ditch because the car would have flipped after the guy left i got out of the car to check the tires and to see if there was any damage under the car i noticed the tire marks in the snow and they lead right into the ditch, and after the ditch there are tire marks that were at least 10 or 11 inches deep and there were tire marks in the ditch to but they were only a few centimeters deep, i have not been able to come up with a logical reason why or how we missed the ditch, it took a tractor to pull us out the car was so buried in the snow, I am not a very spiritual person but the only thing i thought about was my friend Miranda who died in a car wreck in 2003, this is the first wreck i have been in since she passed, this is the first wreck i have seen and part of me wants to believe she helped in some way, the way that ditch was slanted i don't kno what to think only that i cannot stop thinking about it, luckily nobody was hurt physically i was just damaged mentally (again) now i am welcoming the nightmares and the random feelings of complete fear and lonilness that has been in my life since she left im scared to look at a car now i have to get in the very thing that took my life away, i don't kno what to do, my mom acted like a total bitch when i tried to talk to her which is normal, and no one else around here understands they were making jokes asking me if i flew out the window or anything and they were laughing and thats is how miranda died im just so lost again.

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I feel her pain when I look in her eyes.

Your eyes, never close your eyes
And open up your mind
Oh and baby you can have everything, everything
Your eyes, never close your eyes
And open up your mind
Oh and baby you can have everything ~Buckcherry~


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