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Use 3 words, with punctuations, to form a story. And you can only post again after 3 other people have.
eg.
Post #1: Here I am
Post #2: with a big
Post #3: toe. I think
Post #4: . So I win.
So it's: Here I am with a big toe. I think. So I win.
* * *
The Kitten Board is full of people who are just a little addicted to Willow and also to super hot Tara.
One summer night under a crescent moon, I was wandering aimlessly by a pair of incredibly big, red worn-out clown shoes being polished by a small aardvark whose near-sightedness caused Auburn to scream and flail her with very large foam boxing gloves. But only because I filled them with a sticky brown liquidy substance which is called treacle...perhaps not, though I doubt it is lubrication. But then again if it isn't what we think then I'll eat.. a nice cold sweaty gym sock. Tomorrow morning before the sun rises we will watch Willow and Tara on our new portable rainbow colored handmade, shiny, flourescent telescope. Later we'll make love to a pair of incredibly sexy waitresses whom we met while jell-o wrestling in pink boxers.
There was a loud, frightening sound coming from the burger king bathroom. So I ran screaming "it's coming save the booze!" Three sexy girls said to me "where's the IHOP?" to which I stood there and replied by squeezing on one girl, "LOOK OUT! BOOBS." Suddenly waking up, I gasped with glee at how totally awesome and strangly confussing it was to wake up and smell like the person I'd dreamed about. My left hand traveled slowly over the smooth terrain of my stomach and down to my thigh, where my fingers lingered because the SuperGlue had not yet worn off. It began to feel warm and tingly like ants crawling on the huge wet mound of ginormus gummi bears my dog ate.
I couldn't believe my big blue toilet cleaning tablet would ever stop rolling across the floor after I kicked it with my wooden foot, which shattered. I knelt to cradle the head of my toes, which had sharp overgrown termites. "Liquid paper!" I cried, as I hurled chunks of really big rotten tomatoes, which I borrowed from the girl next in line for chocolate smut bunnies, that whore. She bent over and I glimpsed her pretty nice round bowling ball collection nestled coyly in between her swelling toes of doom. With great trepidation, I licked her hot friends' sticky creamy milk mustache that was dripping onto her silky honey blonde hair. Suddenly, I felt warm and fuzzy like gruesome cardboards raining, raining, raining in my soul. I tore off my clown nose to cast about some kind of processed cheese food at the window which shattered, leaving bits of glass floating in space.
Where I kissed Amber's heaving bosom no one knows how sweet her kisses taste when she's brushed her hair so nicely exposing her pale yet somewhat flushed litmus paper puppy; I do drugs. All the time.
My inner demon likes to taunt crossdressing prarie dogs whilst fondling odoriferous and playing a small red violin, which it had stollen from a evil looking troll named George Bush. That stupid bastard needed to die a horrible death - kidding, secret service. Love the suits. They are so tight and slick when they get run over by a mach truck going over the bound for guam. Even though their hands were tied they smiled blissfully as they fandangoed into the night of lovely hot guns strapped beside a goal post humping the net.
Seventeen heartbeats later, catastrophe! Alas, the pacemaker I had stopped working while Tara's luscious lips worked slowly down Willow's taut abs on the TV screen. Luckily, my purple multi-speed massager was fully charged as was I, that's odd because I'm sure that Miss Kitty Fantastico has hid it somewhere in the hallway linen closet. When questioned, she claimed that she stared at me through the keyhole. Seeing me wearing my pink lace teddy, the cat jumped off into the fine line crossing the universe to buy underpants with high tension elastic, because my botox-ed lips are big and sore.
I bought the Super Screamer 2000 quite unlike anything ever invented before, at least by Smut Engineer Anya. Its fun-fur coating allowed it's movement which was stimulating when applied to the scalp. Apparently, the benefits are only realized when one looks closely with a microscope. As such, the stars were bright when Einstein and his scantily clad date of the decade--none other than the famous Eleanor Roosevelt, which could only lead to wild debaucheries of the cerebral cortex, you see strange things happen to pituitary glands, when exposed to really ugly people.
I hate it when someone stops in the middle of a large box of cookies just to say 'guess what? This cookie doesn't really taste like a Girl Scout. That would be quite disturbing actually, if you bit into a merit badge and tasted fish.' But I digress. Cadillacs are the demon lover of senior citizen capitalists intent on carving pretty patterns in my skull!!! Argh!!! Sorry! It seems very unlikely that any compensation will be of naked trepanning commune-living tea sucking British red-headed, large with the butch and yet cheeky monkey bum looker. Except next time there might be a big surprise with bow ties fighting with shoes for dominance over life on planet of the apes. I hope that the apes don't steal all the chocolate, because I don't like to play Robin Hood. I really want to sink my poor swollen feet in a bucket of warm red jello to get rid of these fleas and buy new stiletto heels! Exclamation expresses my passion fruit smoothie lust is the only way to go when you want your own way. Of course, if you ask nicely then you will find that I am a big softie at heart with a weakness for munchkin flavoured cookies with a light sprinkling of chocolate on top.
The noble Brutus Emperor of Rome used to enjoy Willow/Tara loving at a particular forum where lots of lovely kittens gather to play. Taking into account the weather conditions Willow/Tara performed, garnering much applause from the surrounding group in spite of the fact that all the light in the bedroom came from the extra flamey candle that was blown given to Tara by Marti Noxon in the end.
Now if you were a monkey, think about it, you could easily fly anywhere you choose, for example Australia, but if you prefer somewhere else then you could always try change flight patterns.
It's not easy at night when you eat chocolate and get hyper; chocolates are essences of energy-inducing super conducting power boobs. Feel the milk squirting! Splash!
It was obvious to the elves who lived in that they never cooked porridge before, because the mucus-like consistency of the jelly was too Hummus-like and hairy to be eaten before tea.
Trouble always comes in three packs of chocolate flavoured mints--those are for the Baldwin Brothers.
This one time in band camp, I stuck a flute in my wooden flute holder keeping it from harm like Michelle getting her hands on it and thrusting it into doing indescribable things while juggling tomatoes and tap dancing. Alas, due to her poor footwear, the act caused massive bubbles that rose to the very top of the building, which was shaped like a claustrophobic hedgehog and made of strawberry flavoured jelly began to quiver and shimmer until it reached a critical mass, then exploded in a candyfloss filled mess that stretched out all over Europe and left some wierd kind of residual traces of radioactive haddock on the residents of a small town called Racoon City which is situated just north of in Beaver county.
The insidious Wal-mart hides all of the rubbish that we excreted.
Degrees of love can be defined using a slide rule and three markers of differing colours. However, don't do that when you're really, really drunk. And so it begins.
I like, dance with pantyhose all the time but not when Lost is on, even though I love my Tivo even more when it was working on brewing tea like Eddie the Argyle Gargoyle, who always stole the baby wipes and used them to make paper aeroplanes, which constantly crashed to the ground spreading debris for miles and miles and miles, leaving several small towns under a blanket of icing sugar topped with sparkly rainbow skittles that jumped like fairy dust off the scratching post of...I lost track of my life.
One day, when I found a pot of gold under the rainbow, not real gold just fools gold, I went and smacked the leprechaun who sold me the aforementioned gold, the sneaky git he told me, "if you want love, have a bottle of this and I did and I grew a very big tail that kept branching and growing. I tried to hide it, but it kept poking my sister's butt...hmm...wrong bottle." Not impressed, I was very cross, because the wasted butt poking tail was wriggling obscenely in front of the little elf who was actually a disguised monk hoping to find a chainmail brasseire and matching socks for his lover in another city.
A city far, far--sorry, wrong song. Lets try eggs with chilli peppers and roasted almonds, topped off of Amber's luxurious mane of hair, which in food tastes like chicken. But only if you season it with garlic and honey nut loops with a dash to the toilet monkey tail kebabs stuck on large Riley® fingers.
Something wicked, something very naughty is about to take place around the corner from the laundromat, where an evil elf is waiting, with his minions, plotting the demise of all the unsuspecting politicians that have no clue that all the weapons in the middle east, have been disarmed by some kind hearted but soulless vampire with bad teeth and terrible halitosis, which is understandable since he drank rat's blood mixed with spiffy, bubbling Diet Cherry Coke. Sometimes I think blood and coke don't go together.
Naturally, kissing is an activity that is enjoyed by women loving women in skin-tight, provocative clothing, with matching brightly colored hats. These hats often have rather spiffy tassles attached to the brim, which fluttered in the wind like a fluttery tassley thing. Which I hate to admit, but that turns me on something rotten.
And another thing. If I ever buy another tank of gas at Shell, I will personally see that Bush and his pathethic cronies are terminated with extreme pain and finality which will involve various methods of poking and prodding with pointy sticks but only after they had exhausted all other forms of tickle torture and were left with no other option. So they reduced the price of oil, making it only six flamingos a gallon and thus sparing me the embarrasment of having to order more flamingos and more again.
Just one, no, a thousand nights to wait until the world ends. Why is it so damn easy for the apocalypse to just happen even though all the Wombles tried to distract it with orgiastic stripteases?! Uncle Bulgaria particularly handed them the spoon of trust and allowed them to eat icecream without washing their hands and feet after collecting rubbish on the planet Shmo with their mountains of junk.
I have lungs to breath with while I frantically swim the channel but the water is so cold I could die unless someone could reach for the huge rubber ring wrapped tight around Amber's soft, quivering lips.
Great Scott! Scott walked in and reached for big fluffy white clouds, f-f-f-fluffy little clouds upon my tongue which I also thought were pretty. But also kinda grey which is also called gray, funny that huh?
So when I walked to the doot, I turned, realising I'd forgotten my rubber ducky and so I rushed back inside and grabbed the rubber ducky from the dresser beside the giant statue of Sylvester Stallone dressed as Tinkerbelle . That's disgusting. Fortunately, the three little pigs had a bacon sandwich for distracting anyone who might have noticed.
The wolf stopped and stared at Hooters' daily specials. Which reminded him he should do something about all the yellow flowers in his arse that looked ridiculous. Silly wolf, they were only mugwort and a dash of baby's breath held together with an invisible thread of spider silk that wrapped tightly around his nipples.
Amber looked lovelier than my mother wearing a white dinner jacket and a thong. The fabric was lacey and had very very nice looking straps. Her boobs were also nice, especially when considering it was cold which caused her perfectly formed nipples to jump out--that's my mother! she should be in playboy magazines. Along with several equally hot chicks from the kitten board, the hot luscious bikini clad women there can type rather well with their Medusa-like weave that grows straight up.
I said to the tuxedo clad chimp that was eating a large banana "yo chimp, where did you get that stupendously amazing lovely lady lumps?" It replied, "Ummm...get away from me, you accountant! Do I look like an oversized penis?!" It then hit me over with my oversized penis which then detached to reveal a secret compartment that opened to unleash a vicious poodle with giant teeth, a bad comb-over, and only three perfectly hairy claws. It gasped, amazed and began to rip through my delicate lace petticoat, unburdening the creamy white Amber-iffic cleavage.
"Yummy!" someone replied clearly on drugs or maybe just high on life but definitely ready for news of the impending apocalypse in my butt. Taco Bell, man! Hence toilet's clogged. That's why I always carry a ten inch gun, silenced to avoid premature explosions. The kind you fear when you overwork the enriched uranium that was placed exactly so as to make the bright pink geraniums glow very brightly.
Strawberry pop tarts are especially delicious to possums only, because they love to do it on each other's bumms while gyrating fluidly back and forth in pudding. Only chocolate pudding could be used, since only it has the ability to be sticky; even when it was full of beautiful mounds of creamy white breasts; a subject which spilling out of hot porn pics in a crowd of computers.
Penetration I'll pass, thanks.
I was sitting by the seaside on a large hippo, which tried to grab my perky little breasts. Hippo cannot resist the sensation of being scrubbed clean using those luscious orbs of delight, which really are orbs of destruction.
You must never paint a monkey purple; it becomes quick to anger yet indifferent to actually doing anything remotely related to getting back at the woman who needs a good spanking. Ask nicely! Then you will be ready for earth-shatteringly fantastic hand-butt contact and clit lickage.
Oh my, said the vicar upon a struggling altar-boy in four-inch heels. I wonder if it would feel as good if a cross is accessorising for nuns?
Much fun can be had while tap dancing naked especially if you follow the instructions and do not ever dare to play a prank by hiding the box of chocolates in my hotspot while wearing a fireman's uniform or pretending to be Man of Steel with the most chocolate that anyone has ever eaten in their entire mid-morning coffee break.
Again, breathless am I who would want to do a hot girl on top of a big pile autumn maple leaves while groping for a big red genuine Acme flyswatter. Such words are melodies Britney Spears comes up with eating her favorite strawberry and vanilla icecream with a large helping of chocolate sauce. Sometimes it gets too delicious and you just can't stop but do try.
But wait, there's more! Giant glutenous, peanut butter eating, arachnid monsters from dirty cun--countries are partying like college freshmen who lost their virginity one drunken night after staggering back from the club that is infamous for the monstrously libido enhancing punch.
I can't believe the strength of a smile when it comes from soft pink lips covered with orange lipstic. This was a rather unusual sight to see.
When you get the feeling that monkeys are watching your ass, you should probably clean them sparkly, so that your shapely thighs can be delightfully firm for vampires and werewolves who hunt for special sales at the giant megastore where I found sexy black panties which made me scream orgasmically. Indeed, upon inspection of the aforementioned panties as I looked for a way to put them on without someone pouring hot chocolate down your top I discovered that hot chocolate makes boobies become pert and very lickable which is nice especially when the chocolate keeps dripping onto the nipple, where it's very easy to lick off. And when that happens I moan in pleasure at the delightful way the chocolate continues to flow between her voluptuous if rather saucy breasts. She loves--she who is the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world--when I lick her nose, fetish I will admit that I even enjoy a little snifter of port to calm my frazzled nerves after laughing hysterically at the giant squid. More than that, the party was a lot of morons dressed in sexy black panties.
The next day I went to visit my friend who lived in California, and had partied 'til the we could party like we can't breathe.
Swinging my quite pendulous breasts, I tripped over my nipple, my eyes widened in surprise as I landed on soft fluffy white pillows cushioning my fall; my sagging breasts with nipples that ache with need for a soft touch from my old college roommate's second cousin, withsoft, succulent, juicy fruit gum I really need to go to the place the cousin right around my left knee.
Ah, today is the most exciting day of my entire life, because I ate a full turkey and he went down to the shops to dance the watusi: what's the watusi? asks the walrus who then jumped into a steaming bowl of curry demanding to be Miss Kitty purred wearing tight leather like Vampire Willow on that night she bit the Kitten Board members and drew blood from their toes.
As she sucked the life out of the ugly punk, she couldn't control her laughter as she looked at his underpants. She almost lost her marbles when he pulled out his Superman boxers and danced the Tybourne Jig for the Salamander King.
My jaw dropped at the sight of Amber's shapely body and her deliciously inviting lips close to mine. I almost came out to say, "Hey, Dorky McDork, Dork, there's boobs luscious Amber-ific cleavage. He looked around and saw her, leaning against the bedpost. I'm fanficing because I am fascinated with women's power tools. Where are my lederhosen? My boy shorts the cashier everytime he buys asparagus and makes a noise from his big stuffy nose which sounds like red ants marching. Why does a sexy woman like her with a full contingent of tequila shots and cherries wanna have wild and exciting games of Scrabble in my pants. Thinking of a dancing pink elephant means my mind imploded. But, wait! I was wrong because I assumed the position. Oh! I just remembered to close this."...(Page 36)
_________________
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.
"The I in Team"
Last edited by inlerf on Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:49 pm, edited 26 times in total.
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