I know this may sound kinda confusing but please bare with me---
I- Sakti- have been a Kitten Board Lurker for a little over a year and finally got up the guts to actually join the board fairly recently. I have been out for 3 years now and I totally comfortable with being a lesbian.
My flatmate
came out about a year ago-- this is her story.
As you probably got the idea, this has been a huge drama in her life- and since we are living together, and both far from our respective countries of origin, we don't have very many friends to ask for advice, much less other lesbians.
My flatmate has been going crazy over this whole scenerio for the last 2 months and i've been trying to keep her sane, because I really care about her alot and I know what it's like to be far away from friends and family.
Since things have been particularly crazy with her dramas lately I've been more than a little anxious about all myself. So yesterday I decided to post this story asking all of you for your opinions on the situation.
The reason i wrote the story in first person was because, I thought writing sentences referring to my friend and then my friend's best friend, would get annoying to read and confusing. Also, I've never really posted before, so I was anxious about it as well and wanted to make things as clear as I could considering all the drama I had to get in.
I never intended to decieve any of you. I just would just like some opinions on how best to help my friend, and I since you all like discussing love/relationships and of course willow and tara; I figured this was the best place to go.
I certainly understand the apprehension about answering a dilemma like this, since I've been trying to give her some advice/support for the last two months. In this time my personal opinion about her scenerio has changed many times, so much so that i'm beginning to feel somewhat crazy myself, never mind how damn crazy she's been feeling. In my
post, I tried, as best I could, to represent the situation as accurately as possible, while condensing it.
ok so again I am sorry to have mislead you all into believing this story was about my life-- but I would still greatly appreciate any advice you are willing to give.
Thank you very much to Kitties who have already responded.
Gatito Grande: I have actually looked at your posts over on the sex ethics thread. You started an awesome debate over there. I really agree with what you said about
not settling, and also the very good point that
if she loves her, then my friend's best friend will realize that she needs her and has to be with her. I hadn't though if it that way before. Yes , sadly some
people are the pining type. Though I honestly believe it is a huge waste of time, I am just as guily as the next girl.
My flatmate she's the pining type, I think. Do you have any suggestions for semi-constructive pining? Is there a book I could get for that?
wa star:
You are soo right about those *sorta* gay girls, those women always head straight, pun intended, back to boystown when the going gets rough. My flatmate and I are living in rural Australia at the moment, and it's just very difficult to meet other lesbians. We both go to university and have only one other lesbian friend, (the girl my flatmate was considering dating LOL).
It's totally depressing cuz sometimes i would like to go out and meet some women, even if it's nothing serious, but it's just really hard.
For example, I know there are a group of other lesbians in our town, but you can't just hang out with them, they seem to be very exclusive, so yeah I get frustrated alot. So eventhough where I'm living is a really great place in terms of natural features, I do wish i could meet other lesbians sometimes.
SlayerSydney:
I throughly enjoyed the When Harry Met Sally quote, thank you very much. I totally agree. Now the question is whether any of us can actually get there in real life, but I guess that's the reason I'm posting all of this to begin with.
Yeah i totally think that my friend's problem is that she wants the rest of her life to start today, eventhough there are many things that have to be sorted though by several parties before she can even have a shot at that.
Hum, the ego thing, well my flatmate's dream girl, she doesn't seem like the type to need her self-esteem elevated in that way, although people often act as a result of feelings they are either unaware of, or uncomfortable with acknowledging...so maybe this girl is afraid she will loose my flatmate as her friend is she were to date someone else.
If that is the case..,does that mean she is A) yes she's attracted to her LIKE THAT
or
B) she's afraid of loosing the closeness that they have.
Oh I probably caused more issues by saying all that sorry.
Yelnif
You sound like such a cutie. I'm sorry that the girl you confessed your love to reacted so nonchalently, that must have been awful for you. My heart goes out to you, it really does. Thank you for relpying, your idealism is very sweet and refreshing. My flatmate is a hopeless idealist as well (at least when it comes to love), that's why I'm so worried about her.
Well thanks again girls, keep the opinions coming =)
--S
Edited by: Warduke at: 5/15/03 9:09:35 pm