A Moment of Truth

[Willowtree252]

I am so angry and hurt but when it comes to my father whats new. I wont bore yall with details most of you already know. It was not my father who physically hurt me but he knew and allowed it to go on plus till this moment the mental abuse continues. So hell yes I am angry he breezes into town 4 days ago and hangs with his fav ( my daughter who I really adore) no worrys as I know the score so I can deal. All is going well right well I kept saying he is here for a reason and here we are cut to today he goes out and buys her a brand new Hummer 3 lets not forget that after her bad accident 2 years ago he bought her a brand new GMC truck grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr now you say its none of my business but the hell they have put me through ( mom and dad) well he dont have enough years left on earth to repay me I take comfort that karma is a cold hearted bitch

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Tonight for I think the first time in almost a year and a half I cried without my thoughts going to my past and it turning into a sob fest. I was able to cry over a movie and *just* cry over a movie. I cried without feeling broken... because I'm not broken anymore. I'm in love, I'm happy, and I'm okay again, more okay than I thought I would ever be. Though I still have complaints sometimes, life is pretty damn good, thanks to her

[LesbianJedi87]

you don't come here anymore, but I miss this shit out of you. :\

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Something feels off today, I don't know what or why...

[love_2003]

I know I should be happy that I got a 'B' in my class but I really wanted that 'A'.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Yesterday I found out my grandparents are probably getting divorced, and at the time I was really sad, but I got distracted by my own life. Tonight when my mom got home she asked if I was really sad thinking about them, and I realized I hadn't really thought about it all day, and now I feel all guilty and selfish. I am sad about it, but here I am worrying about my own crap instead of worrying if my granddaddy will be able to take care of himself physically or if my grandmother will survive this emotionally or stay a part of our family. I hate feeling selfish...

[Paint the Sky]

Sometimes I can be a real asshole.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I always do and say the wrong things...

[Kessari]

I've had enough... I'm calling her in a really good mood, being proud of myself, wanting to share just another sense of achievement and what does ehe say? "Finally! It was about time."

I'm working my ass off and then I'm told something like *that*? I do not deserve this and I won't take crap from her anymore. I will not let her ruin my good mood. Not today!


Next time I want to share something like that with someone, I'll call my girlfriend, even if she will be cranky and mad at me for waking her up. Should have done that in the first place...

[Nue]

I am scared... but it´s nice to fell something beside anger...

[Dorothy]

this is the LAST freaking heap of abuse I'm gonna take damned! I almost stabbed em to death :O scared myself going all dark and veiny like that... but I didn't pick up the knife, I reached for it and then let it go and walked away, dying inside.

This was a huge leap too far, it's a hell of a chore to get me angry, let alone make me go dark! I'm not going back, changing my number and leaving!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

The realization hit me a couple minutes ago that this one child, above any others I've yet worked, will be forever in my heart. I'm not sure what makes her so special, but to me she is and will be forever. She's the only child I've worked with that I've wished, even for a moment, could be mine. I felt so guilty, the day that feeling came upon me that I wished she was my own, but I'm done feeling guilty for that. I don't know what makes this little girl so special to me, but she is, and I think she always will be. Learning today that she knows my name, even if she can't say it yet, and that she said yes when her teacher asked if she wanted to come see me just made me feel wonderful... and I don't think I will ever stop loving her as I do now, if though the day will come all too soon when I am a stranger to her, and then finally the day when I'll never see her again. It hurts to think of that, but I know her absence won't change my love for her.

[taraslove]

deleted

[Kessari]

35 days, 18 hours and 30 minutes or 858,5 hours or 51510 minutes or 3090600 seconds to go... I can't wait!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I think I might need to sleep with a stuffed animal tonight, which I haven't done in years.

[Dorothy]

I can't do it, the life thing I mean, I really can't.

[gabbles]

Dorothy, I came here to post exactly that.

I really dont know how to do it all anymore.

[Nue]

ok, three here... I don´t think I can live as an adult if I don´t know what to do...

[Kessari]

Sometimes, like right now, I really miss the good old times (2006 - 2008)... Those were totally crappy years to be honest, but somehow I was never alone, enjoyed myself so much. I miss the people, yes, even the guy I always argued with. I'll never forget you all.

I wouldn't turn back time for anything though, because the most important thing in my life would be missing.

[jay/wt4evr]

Today when my teacher told me that I lacked determination I realized something.
Over the years my mother always told me that I was over confident, bordering arrogant. So I kept myself in check, and this was my destruction.
I lost that arrogance that made me say 'I'm the best' and with that the will, the ache to actually be the best. And with that the effort I put into getting to be the best.
Which means I border failure. No kidding. Now I only have to undo five years of taming.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I've finally gotten to the point where I realized something most of my friends learned about themselves years ago...my stories suck! I still think I write decent poetry (when I can write poetry at all, which is rare, but thinking about the stories I've posted here over the years I realize they're crap. I still try to write sometimes, work on the fanfics I've started that I liked most, but it hit me that even my favorite of them is complete crap. I should probably just give up, like all my friends did when they hit about 15 and realized they would never be writers. I haven't even updated a story in 6 months, and the fic I think about most (and never in all this time stopped thinking about) I haven't made any real progress on in a couple of years. It may just be time to give up on ever finishing a story...

[tetyline]

I really like her and miss her, i never felt this way before... sometimes is scary. But i love that she is in my life!

[tarawillow<3]

I love one of my friends but too scared to tell her for her reaction...

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My lead teacher at work is out right now, we don't know for how long, cause her husband's sick, and the permanent assistant has been taking over. I realized today that she does a better job of running the room than the lead teacher... and even though I really like the lead teacher, and I don't want her husband to get worse, I feel myself kind of hoping she decides to quit and the permanent assistant takes over, partly because I think she would do a better job and partly because I would love to try for the permanent assistant spot... But then I feel guilty, for wanting my lead to not come back.

[Willowtree252]

One year ago today I stood before a JP in the great state of New Hampshire and took wedding vows. It has been the best year of my life with many more promised to come. I have watched our dreams unfold before my eyes. I knew you where coming for years my friends and I talked about it my " Soul Mate" and then boom there you are took my breath away to this day I have not caught it never want to as a matter of fact. Thank you for loving me for putting up with my quirks and my silliness and yes my kids!!! to quote a old song I need you, I want you, I love you Mrs. Chase. I am going to put the part of our vows you forgot and regretted here ok to all those that say you cant find real love sitting in your room on a computer (sticks tongue out) na na na na na now I better get back to work before I get spanked I love you deeply madly Dia

[HalfCamel]

I hate my job
which turns me into an a-hole.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Other people's happy endings make me extremely happy. I can't read Dia and Sandi's posts without smiling, and seeing a ridiculously happy couple that found each other here makes me feel a little less crazy. Their love helps me believe mine will really last forever.

[Willowtree252]

Other people's happy endings make me extremely happy. I can't read Dia and Sandi's posts without smiling, and seeing a ridiculously happy couple that found each other here makes me feel a little less crazy. Their love helps me believe mine will really last forever.

I have always told you to follow your dreams little one go to your love she will be worth it I can tell. You deserve happiness bigger then the sky.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Thank you Dia, I'm going to her as soon as I can.

[ashcrash71590]

romantic feelings are so complicated sometimes

Ash