The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My evening just sucked, I kept messing up busses and I was late for class and I'll be way late getting home and I'm really hungry have nothing with me to eat, and to top it all off I found out I'm back to owing a lot more money than I thought *and* I have another $50 textbook to buy.

[JustSkipIt]

We got a new kitten because everyone else in the family desperately wanted one. She's very cute and all that although I didn't particularly want a kitten.

And every fucking night I feel like she spends it either batting at my feet or walking on my pillow and my head. Does she fucking walk around on one of the people who wanted a fucking cat? No me. I was up for over 2 hours last night trying to deal with having her walking on my head.

I need sleep.

[Emms]

That sucks, Debra...

I have a friend who built a "kitty Condo" in their basement and every night the cats are ushered downstairs to their own personal sleeping space. Perhaps something like that would work for you?

My crappy is that the dishes need doing and I don't feel like doing them.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I really love and admire my big sisters, but I only see them a couple times a year and it sucks. The last time I saw them, we talked about this tv show we all loved as kids and said that if it ever came out on dvd we needed to have a marathon. I looked it up, and the show is on dvd and each season is actually quite cheap so I thought about buying a season or two to watch with them, but then I realized it would never actually happen. I've never once spent time with either of them away from our parents, and as much as I want a better relationship with them I think that's just the way it's always gonna be, and it sucks. I wish I had the kind of relationship with them where I could just call or email and ask if they wanted to hang out, but we really don't have that and I don't know how to get it. They both have their own lives, one's married and pregnant and lives an hour away, the other's engaged and works crazy hours and has a very active social life and lives almost an hour away in the opposite direction. It's hard to even get them in the same place to celebrate holidays, much less just for a random day to watch some silly old sitcom...
I wish it could be different.

[EasierSaid]

Tomorrow my wife and I are going to put down our dog. She has had a wonderful life, but she's old and starting to waste away, and it's time. I just wish it wasn't, because I love her very much.

[Yours]

That's really tough EasierSaid, they become a part of the family and it's heartbreaking when they have to go. My thoughts are with you.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I miss feeling like Super Woman. I'm not Super Woman anymore :(

[KiWy]

i'm feeling wrong..maybe sick..am never sick, i hate it

[xlaurax1]

Just got bitten by a jack jumper (a bitting ant) while getting the washing off the line, and it huuuuuuuuuurts. :(

[Finey_McFine]

Ugh!! Poor baby! I saw a documentary on those ants a few years ago and they're nasty little buggers! Uh, ginormous buggers that is. Put lot's of ointment on it and feel better!

[xlaurax1]

Thanks, Shel. I didn't have any ointment, but you'd be surprised how well bicarbonate of soda mixed in water works on that kind of bite. So it is feeling a bit better but it's still red and owie. :S

[Yours]

Being ill sucks! I look and feel like crap I wish I could just curl up in a ball and sleep for a week, but my work is really short staffed just now so I have to work :(

[Foomatic]

What the fuck is her problem? Seriously.

[KiWy]

I hate being sick..I hate having fever..--'

[CrazyTaraWitch]

The only reason I wanted to go over to my dad's today was to see my little sister, but she was pissed her mom made her come home (which I'm pretty sure my stepmom only did cause I was coming over), barely spoke to any of us, then was finally so pissy my stepmom told her she could leave just to keep her foul mood from ruining the evening for the rest of us. One of the main reasons I wanted to move back here was to be around my sis, but I've barely seen her since I got back and every time I have there's been something wrong so that we haven't really gotten to hang out. I miss her. I know her life's total shit right now, but it still hurts to feel like she doesn't want to spend any time with me, and I just want to be a real part of her life again. She always tells me she loves me and gives me hugs and says she's sorry for being a grump, but it doesn't make me miss her any less.

[Finey_McFine]

I love my siblings, but they REALLY fucking piss me off sometimes. I am so damn sick of being the responsible one. For Gods sake, they are in their 30's now...get a fucking clue!!!

And btw...I'm still at my studio, working at 10pm...going on hour 12 for the day. I'm sure they are home or out having a good old time. No worries for them! I don't want to be the oldest anymore!!!

[JustSkipIt]

Some days I just feel... I love my wife. I really really do. But it's been so long that's she's been in a funk. She's depressed and has been for years. And she has good days but she has so many bad days too. Every day she calls me when she and the kids are up and it's like... within 4 seconds it's clear what her day will be. Last week she was pretty much either lying on the couch with her back out of place or she had allergies or a cold or she was depressed most of the time. And I'm sorry that she was sick but it's like all the time. Like... maybe 1 good day a week. And I keep trying to be patient and supportive and loving and then she snaps at me. Today she's actually totally aware that she's in a crap mood and is snapping at me and keeps apologizing which is better than the days she thinks it's all me I guess.

And... I mean I get tired of it. I just want my wife back. The woman I fell in love with. When she's in a better space, she is that person and she's funny and she thinks I'm funny. But so much of the time, she's not that person. She's this other person who took over her body. And I miss the woman I love so much.

And I'm not the only one. I was talking to a friend of ours and she was saying how much she wants her best friend back. I totally get that.

But then I feel guilty because I feel like should be more generous, more compassionate, more loving. I should pray more and love more. So I try to do that.

But I get tired...

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Last time I went to the grocery store they had no cans of my favorite beans, and the time before that they only had 1 can. It's a little thing, but cheap foods I love are one of those big happy spots in my life, and to not get to have them bums me out.

[xlaurax1]

Got bitten by a jack jumper again. While hanging the washing on the line again. And it hurts...AGAIN! Plus I think it was the same one that bit my cat just moments before.

On the up side, the bite from - checks post fruther up - 5 days ago is mostly healed now. At lest I'm not one of the 10% of people that have a deadly alergy to them.

[Finey_McFine]

I realized today, that no matter how much you try to help someone, that they have to want to help themselves first or they just end up screwing you over in the end. It's never a good idea to care about what's going on in their lives more than they do. They take complete advantage of you and don't feel guilty in the least.

What they do is use your feelings to their advantage so they can effectively manipulate you and get what they want. This works especially well when it's a close family member. Oh, let's say someone like...your own mother! Someone who always plays the victim and feels like they are entitled. Entitled to sponge off you, never thank you, then go behind your back and talk shit. They use you up and when there's nothing left, they move on without ever acknowledging the sacrifices that you made for them. I would imagine they eventually get what's coming to them, but in the mean time they leave a wide path of destruction behind them.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I know I largely bring it on myself, but sometimes it makes me sad that the people I work with don't know me at all. I thought it was getting better, I was talking some and listening a lot, trying to come out of my shell a bit, but today they made me feel like a complete outsider. I don't want to be bosom buddies with them or anything, but it hurt to feel like they were laughing at me, even though I don't think they meant it in a mean way.

[JustSkipIt]

My work blocked Twitter this afternoon. Boo hiss. Not unexpected but still.

But since I'm getting a smart phone I say "pppfffftttt" to that!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Sometimes I feel really lonely. I see friends and family now and then, but day in and day out I have no one to share my life with and it sucks.

[xlaurax1]

My best friends dad is going to die today. Maybe tomorrow. Not all his children can he there and he's not even 50. I have no idea what to do or how to help her, and it sucks.

She's only reconnected with in in the last few years and only found out less than a month ago that he was even sick.

What do I do? I feel so helpless.

[Nue]

My best friends dad is going to die today. Maybe tomorrow. Not all his children can he there and he's not even 50. I have no idea what to do or how to help her, and it sucks.

She's only reconnected with in in the last few years and only found out less than a month ago that he was even sick.

What do I do? I feel so helpless.

just be there for her... you don´t have to say or do anything, just let her know you´re there..

[KiWy]

Seems like it's starting all over again... please don't let me get trapped into this nightmare once more...

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Yesterday afternoon was very hard for me emotionally. I was working next door to the classroom I used to be in all day, and it was so hard to be that close but not be with the kids that used to be *my* babies. I miss my babies, and I wish being in a room that I knew like the back of my hand.
I'm (mostly) glad to be back working here, but I miss the way it was before I left.

[Zooeys_Bridge]

I'm feeling super stressed out and all panicky about the future. Big scary looming future.

I want to get a 1-2 year job in a library in Philadelphia. Without a degree, I can't get to higher positions. Networking isn't getting me too far. My advisor thinks its best to apply for grad school now with the option of deferring.

I'm stressed between staying in NJ and going for Rutgers, which I'm not too psyched about but can save a buttload of cash. And applying for Simmons which has the program I'm most interested in. But more expensive and requires a move.

Then there's always the work part-time, its easier to get a library job after, or go full-time, finish faster. Do I want to have a huge pile of debt or a lesser high pile of debt? What do I sacrifice for the education I want? Closer location? Money? A job?

The forum communities seem very pessimistic. Must talk to more people in real life. Hope they start replying to my emails soon.

I miss Smith, I miss purpose, I miss knowing exactly what to do, how, and when.

Mostly I'm just really scared.

[JujuDeRoussie]

A sort of constitutional council called The Wise Men have ruled legal the interdiction of homosexual marriage, stating that the French constitution is clear and says that marriage is between and man and a woman only. They said that it belonged to politics to change the law. But French politics are billion years away from doing so. They're too busy doing other things. Only two political parties talk about it in their programs. It just ruined my freaking day.
And here I believed the constitution also said we were all equals in rights.
:(

[Boschi]

Aargh - I have missed Thursday!