help me, I'm going crazy

[lockinabox]

I don’t post much on this forum anyway, but I’m using a different name because I’m a little paranoid.

I’m not sure that I’m looking for guidance on this matter, more like reassurance.

I am a college student, and I seem to have developed a rather bad habit of developing crushes on the worse possible people. I actually took a class one semester in part because there was a girl in it that I liked! This is very out of character for me. Worse, last year, there was a girl I really liked, but I felt like I liked her so much I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to her about doing anything not class related with me. I never even got around to proving if she was gay or not to myself!

The worst is yet to come. Every couple semesters I find a professor I am totally enthralled with, and I develop a very unrealistic crush on whoever it happens to be. Normally, these people are almost twice my age, and in at least one case, straight. One professor remains in question, while the other, current one; I am very strongly inclined to believe that she is gay. I seem to have some sort of bizarre connection with this women (although obviously it isn’t THAT kind of connection). It is a small class and I always seem to be the only one on the same wavelength as her. I don’t know how to explain it other than that. The weirdest thing for me right now is that she really is in no way shape or form my ‘type’. I’m completely freaked out by this, and I often have no idea how to even THINK while I’m in class. She’s sitting next to me and I think how good she smells or she’s sitting near me and I think how you can almost see up her skit. Then I think my hormones are going to be the death of me and about that time someone is asking me a question and I don’t even know what they said. I can’t even focus!

Help! Its making me feel even more crazy than normal! I don’t even understand why I am attracted to this person, and I really don’t want to be. I also don’t understand why I can’t seem to develop these feelings for someone my own age (OK there have been at least 2 girls my own age that I liked- both more than they liked me, which was our ultimate demise.) Sometimes I feel like I fall for people I know I could never even start a relationship with so that I won’t ever have to do it!

[cattwoman98111]

Ok I will take this one.



lockinabox,



Having crushes on people is a very normal thing. However, when crushes develop into something more is when they need to be looked into, you recognizing that these crushes tend to lean to the unhealthy is an important distinction. Fantasy is a healthy, normal part of life but when it crosses the line into obsession is when you need to take a step back and analyze why.

I’m going out on a limb here as I don’t think I know you, but having a thing for your professor is pretty normal as well. I know I had crushes on my professors as well, but the difference is it was just a short lived infatuation, who cannot appreciate the older, more sophisticated, I have seen the world kind of person. On the other hand, (warning, I’m going to sound like a therapist) do you see a pattern to the professors you crush on? I mean do you always go for one particular type and if so, you think that perhaps you are looking for a mother figure in your life? I personally feel that knowing yourself and how you think, reason and respond is a very important thing. But don’t waste all your time trying to figure yourself out, or you may miss all the good stuff in life.



Well I hoped this help, or at least gave you a bit to think on.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.-Sacha Guitry

[Tempest Duer]

I don't think I know you either, but you sound a lot like me. I used to suffer from severe bouts of infatuation for the absolutely wrong people. All I can really say to help though, is that your best bet is to find someone who likes you as much as you like her--it does wonders for your perspective.



Clearly, if you could find someone like that, then a lot of this wouldn't be an issue, so that can hardly be called advice. Normally one would think that having experienced this firsthand would give me understanding, but it didn't, not really.



If you like, I can post more later, but I have to go now.

Willow: Hey Buff. One more thing. Buffy: Yeah? Willow: I’m gay. Buffy: Okay, Will. Xander owes me ten bucks.

~Remember to Breathe by Yellow Crayon