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It’s hard. I try, I really do but every direction is a different voice. One says its fine, another says I’m wrong, another says nothing to me but will to others. Why don’t words mean the same thing anymore?
I get it. We all form our own understandings. Yet who yells the loudest gets to police it.
Space to me means, space. A distance apart.
But yet space means breaking up.
BtVS is a repetitive series. It repeats itself so much just in a different surrounding. Series 1-3 is repeated in series 4-6. Oz is replaced by Tara. Cordelia replaced by Anya. They’re different but they have the same role to play. Storylines are juggled about and given a different context but it’s the same. Example, listen to Willow’s scream in Passions and listen to her scream in Villains. It’s the same scream. No slight on Hannigan’s performance because that’s not what it’s about. It’s a point of focus that is the same but everything around it is completely different yet the same. This is BtVS story telling.
Every break up scene has a clear ‘we’re over’ line and afterwards follow up scenes to show the dynamic. This does not follow that structure. Tara makes it clear it’s about the magic. She doesn’t say she doesn’t love Willow but it’s implied she cannot forgive her for the mind wipe (which she found out the day before, loads to process and she is yet to bring it up with Willow. This explodes.)
Whedon is a big Shakespeare fan and Shakespeare does this thing where the characters greatest strength is also their greatest flaw. This is love for Tara. Yes she’s outwardly stronger now but let’s be real, she ran back to Willow after one coffee. ONE COFFEE! No apology seen from Willow just cutesy moments. Tara stops being a character once Older and Far Away is over and is a plot point for Willow yet again so we never see if this is Tara’s strength or acceptance.
However what’s beautifully done is the symmetry between Tara and Giles. Giles dialogue makes it very clear in the scene that immediately follows this one in Tabula Rasa. He needs to let Buffy trust in herself and to do that he believes he has to go. Tara is the same as their scenes are interchangeable. They come together in Under Your Spell reprise. “It will grieve me because I love you so.” “Stay.” I don’t know if signs need waving with flashing lights too. But their acts are done out of love. They are not stopping the relationship, there just needs to be space.
Obviously different reasons.
This goes into the word relationship too. To me you have a relationship with everyone and everything. Yet relationship is meant as romantic and if the societal title goes then the relationship is over. That’s the take Anya has when Willow straight up says it’s better so they can work things out. Willow and Tara aren’t on the same page about what needs to be worked out but there is a strong indicator by the people in the actual relationship of the intent of working this out. So why is this a break up?
Where has this happened before? After Willow cheats on Oz, he needs space and Willow only wants to apologise to make herself feel better. But Willow has progressed, as far as we see Willow doesn’t try to harass Tara and does respect her space. She’s not standing in the way when Tara is packing up and even says she’s left boxes. She knows Tara needs it no matter how much it hurts. Nonverbal communication is their bread and butter. Certain points in series 4 you have the magic metaphor. The love isn’t a metaphor anymore. They still love each other but magic and Willows reliance on it is the problem to the extent its let her unforgivably hurt Tara.
But it’s cool, Willow doesn’t sincerely apologise, Tara gets a coffee and everything is sorted in the not mine definition of relationship.
Let’s forget that Tara and Willow moved in when Buffy was dead. She isn’t now. Tara’s dorm was destroyed so likely had nowhere to stay. They didn’t officially share a dorm meaning they had their own spaces when living on campus. So it’s been months of intensity with no space of their own. They both need space.
Willow went from mindless Tara into dead best friend and looking after a teenager and somehow becoming the pseudo slayer when she isn’t. The girl doesn’t rest.
Tara gets mind fucked left, right and centre.
Neither are in a great place and if they don’t have space than 100% it’s going to turn into a complete relationship termination in my definition. They both deeply love each other though and with it being Tara’s strength and flaw, she’s not going to let Willow go. If it wasn’t Giles testing the theory, Tara would have. Reluctantly but she would have done everything in her power.
How’s one coffee fixing this?
This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.
This is my roman empire so keep the cookies coming. #Emotionalwellbeing, thinking of Tara heartbreak every 5 seconds.
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